24 JUL 06: THE UP AND UP

"These gas prices are getting too d**n ridiculous," said the man on the other side of the pump from me Sunday. In recent years, of course, this sentence has become about as creative a conversation-starter as, "It sure is hot out here."

Yet we stood on opposite sides of one of the least expensive gas pumps in south Georgia. The Raceway station on Highway 520 in Tifton was selling regular unleaded for $2.78 a gallon, only three cents above the lowest price in Columbus. The price in Albany was several cents higher - which should teach Rep. Sanford Bishop to lobby harder for the extension of Interstate 185.

The price of gas at this Raceway certainly had jumped from my last trip through Tifton, to promote Power Frisbee of Georgia in Valdosta. On a Friday in late February, regular unleaded cost $2.01. So don't complain now -- because we're on a pace to hit four dollars a gallon next April.

So what did I say in response to the other driver's complaint? Something I'd noted here recently [17 Jul]: "At least the stations showed some resolve the last few days, and didn't raise prices much when world oil prices went above 76 dollars a barrel." At this point, the complainer may have wondered if I worked for ExxonMobil.

The other driver said nothing, but actually seemed to begrudgingly agree with what I said. But then I tried to soften things. "Maybe you can talk to the President of Iran, and convince him to stop causing so much trouble. Maybe he'll listen to you, because he's not listening to anybody else."

"He only wants everybody to hear him," the man replied -- and on that we agreed. Have I mentioned here that I tend to pronounce the Iranian President's last name "A-madman-jihad?"

(No, I do NOT plan to declare war on Iran the way I did on North Korea three years ago. That's because I'm concerned the Iranian President might take me seriously, and move Salman Rushdie's bounty over to me.)

Even though prices have jumped since February, the Raceway station near Interstate 75 in Tifton has no shortage of customers. Practically every pump was occupied when I pulled in shortly before noon Sunday. Perhaps when Valdosta adds an international airport for "Wild Adventure" visitors, that will change.

At times like these, I feel very wise about the car I bought 12 years ago. In the tank of gas that ended in Tifton, my humble Honda made it about 36 miles per gallon. While most of that was on the highway, NONE of it was on interstates - so the fewer traffic lights they put up in Cusseta and Richland, the better.

So what else did we find on the first Sunday of our Power Frisbee pre-season tour? For one thing, a good bit of rain. A thunderstorm poured down for several minutes over the place where we were scheduled to appear in Albany - and with plenty of lightning, I didn't bother checking whether the frisbee I brought had any traces of metal on it.

We handed out Power Frisbee business cards outside Billy Grant Field, the Valdosta State University baseball stadium. A woman told me there was a summer "wooden bat" league underway for college players. Wait until T-ball parents hear about this - so they can add a little "incentive" for children who don't want to run the bases.

For some reason, the most curious discoveries of Sunday's road trip seemed to be centered in Terrell County:

+ The county has a Wilbur Gamble Road - but the signs pointing to it along Highway 520 are misspelled "WLBUR" in BOTH directions. C'mon, Governor Perdue - don't we have a state budget surplus?

+ Not far from there, Highway 520 intersects with a "Chain Gang Road." If Brooks and Dunn can sing a hit song called "Red Dirt Road," some rap group can do a song about this....

(Really now - would YOU want to live on Chain Gang Road? Would you want to be in need of hired help there?)

+ A Subway restaurant combined with a gas station was NOT selling the new bourbon chicken sandwich. No, the sign outside offered simply "chicken bourbon." Those little globs of fat floating on top must make it more nutritious - or is that barbecue sauce?

(I've heard of drinks "on the rocks," but never bourbon on the bone....)

Now let's pull into the driveway, for some quick local notes from Sunday:

+ The Columbus Museum held a "family art" day, which emphasized quilting. Who knows how many children today see their first quilt, and think of those cartoon women putting toilet paper together....

+ The Spirit-Filled Ministries broadcast on WRBL featured Pastor Wayne Baker offering a book on how you can "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." My Pastor maintains that approach simply doesn't work. For one thing, what if the viewer always wears sneakers?

+ Columbus golfer Larry Mize finished sixth at the B.C. Open golf tournament in New York state. The fact that Mize wasn't at the British Open may tell you how much he needed some big money from a top-ten finish.

+ Instant Message to WLTZ NBC-38: Now that's some smart programming - following Sunday night's Miss Universe pageant with a beauty contest for twins. Most of the politically-minded men who expected to see "Meet the Press" at 11:00 p.m. probably didn't mind a bit.

SCHEDULED TUESDAY: E-mail about a "Sound Off".... but should that Sound Off be trusted?....

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