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5 AUG 04: IMPERFECT GAMES
"So - you want to talk about what happened Wednesday?"
No, I'd rather not.
"C'mon, why not?"
It was lousy.
"What was lousy?"
About everything.
"About everything? Like what?"
Like about everything.
"Well, it couldn't have been THAT bad."
Well, yeah it was.
"How?"
You want me to list it all?
"Yeah - I kinda do."
Well, I guess it started about 9:10 Wednesday morning.
"What happened then?"
I left for work.
"And that was lousy?"
Well, once I got to work it was.
"Why?"
Because I unzipped my work case - and I forgot my tie.
"So?"
Well, the policy book at work says you're supposed to "dress professionally" on the job.
"So?"
Without a tie, I wasn't professional. I didn't look right.
"Nahhh, that's no big deal. Lots of professional folks don't wear ties at work."
They don't?
"Sure. Take some of those TV preachers, like that one up in Ellerslie - what's his name."
Yeah, but I don't work at NBC-38.
"But he doesn't wear a tie, and he's a church guy."
Well, sometimes I do wonder who buys ties anymore - or suits, either.
"OK. That settles that. So what else happened?"
Well, the big boss wants people in my position to make sure everything is right before items go to the public.
"So?"
Wednesday I blew it. About eight different times.
"Why?"
Because I didn't check what the co-workers did first.
"Why not?"
Because I was too busy getting MY part of the stuff finished -- and most days, that's a lot of stuff.
"So? Tell the boss you can't do it."
What? And get fired?
"Maybe they'll get you help to do the stuff."
Nope. Money's tight. So when the workday was over, I told my supervisor I was willing to give up my pay for the day.
"What did he say to that?"
He said no. He indicated I was worrying too much about little stuff.
"Well? Do you?"
Yeah, I guess I do.
"Why do you?"
Because at heart, I'm a perfectionist.
"Why's that?"
For one thing, that's what the customers expect. If you fall short, they let you have it.
"So? Are they perfect?"
Many of them seem to think they are....
"They're not. What else happe...."
But the customers are always right.
"Who said?"
Well, I've heard that for years....
"Then why can't they all agree on stuff?"
What do you mean?
"One person has a red car. One person has a blue car. Who's right?"
Well, uhhhhh....
"One of them's got to be wrong, right?"
Uhhhhh....
"See? They only THINK they're right."
But that still makes me wrong.
"Yeah. Just like most of them. So what else happened?"
Well, I forgot stuff and couldn't do other stuff - so I was an idiot and a failure. And it was all Wednesday on my birthday.
"Ohhhh. So you blew it because you're losing it."
Yeah, I was feeling that way....
"Then you should do what I plan to do."
What's that?
"Go retire to Wal-Mart."
Wal-Mart?
"Yeah. Just be a greeter at Wal-Mart."
But that seems like such a boring job.
"Yeah, but Wal-Mart's growing. They'll need a lot of greeters."
That's doesn't sound stimulating to me at all.
"Yeah, but you won't have to worry about making sure everybody else is doing their job."
Well, that is a good point....
"Tell 'em a Wal-Mart you're feeling really old, and you need to be a greeter."
Yeah, but what if they don't hire me?
"Then you do what just about everybody else is doing."
What's that?
"Sue Wal-Mart, and try to get rich."
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