13 JUN 11: Brady's Bunch

True confession: I grew up attending a United Methodist Church. In fact, an Associate Pastor once suggested I consider becoming a minister. Instead, I drifted away to other denominations - where people actually were encouraged to open Bibles during services, and the pages turned at least twice before the service ended.

So Pentecost Sunday found me at a service outside Columbus, missing the biggest local event of the day - the final sermon by this area's best-known United Methodist Pastor. St. Luke United Methodist posted the title "Famous Last Words." Yet for some odd reason, the message wasn't based in the book of Revelation.

Pastor Hal Brady presented his last message in Columbus, before going into semi-retirement. By that, I mean he'll be recording video messages in Atlanta. He will NOT be driving a semi-trailer with a Bible verse on the side.

Hal Brady was Pastor at St. Luke United Methodist for about as long as I've lived in Columbus. And to his credit, I never heard any negative words or rumors about him during that 14-year span. That probably never would have happened had Brady served at Cascade Hills Church....

St. Luke United Methodist Church made several improvements during Hal Brady's years as Pastor. It opened a Ministry Center on 11^th Street which doubles as a fitness center. The second-floor fitness area once was free and open seven days a week. But now it imposes fees and has restricted hours -- as if members decided the building fund didn't need any more money.

(In fact, I was surprised to discover Sunday night the St. Luke home page doesn't mention the Fitness Center at all. At least I don't think that's what "Respite Care" means....)

St. Luke United Methodist Church added a Spanish-language service during Pastor Hal Brady's years. St. Luke School expanded as well. The staff has made sure people notice that, by slowing traffic on 11^th Street with caution lights every weekday for hours.

But St. Luke United Methodist Church had to deal with a couple of issues while Hal Brady was Pastor. High-profile member and Aflac executive Dan Amos divorced and remarried. Then Brady and other members became caught in the middle of the Mark Shelnutt trial [17 Nov 09]. You'll notice St. Luke still keeps its "contemporary worship" service separate from the others....

I happened to sit next to Hal Brady in January, during the inauguration of Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson [4 Jan]. We watched the ceremony on TV at the Government Center Plaza Level, and the pastor wondered why it wasn't held at a larger location. People crowded into the St. Luke sanctuary pews Sunday probably thought the same thing.

(Brady admitted to me he attended the inauguration only because he received an invitation. I never revealed to him I did NOT have an invitation - but somehow I don't think Brady would have reported me to police.)

If you're like me and missed Hal Brady's final message, St. Luke United Methodist Church probably will show it next Sunday morning on WTVM. You may be surprised to learn St. Luke services also appear Thursday nights on a religious cable channel in Atlanta - which tells me that city truly is turning heathen.

Hal Brady isn't the only high-profile United Methodist pastor leaving Columbus. A farewell ceremony was held over the weekend for South Columbus United Methodist Pastor Denise Walton. She succeeded the late Joseph Roberson, and her departure leaves a major hole there. Does the next pastor have what it takes to be on radio AND run for school board?

Let's see what else happened while I was out of the news loop for the weekend....

+ Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson returned home from her trip to Germany. She told WRBL by phone her fellow invited mayors have something in common - all their cities only have once-a-week garbage collection. Maybe she should have called Councilors Gary Allen and Skip Henderson, then passed the phone along.

+ Richland Mayor Adolph McLendon told WRBL if Fort Benning wants to annex a lot of land in Stewart County, the Army should provide a big reimbursement of lost property taxes. At least the Army could donate leftover reservation fencing, so inmates don't escape from the county jail anymore.

+ A Lee County judge denied a request for a gag order in the Harvey Updyke tree poisoning case. Some Auburn fans will consider that good news - because otherwise the Toomer's Oaks Twitter account would become really boring.

+ Auburn University agreed to give football coach Gene Chizik a contract extension, which doubles his salary to $3.5 million. So who plans to go back to Newnan, and see if Chizik donates a tithe to the churches where Cam Newton's father is pastor?

+ The Jack Cook Little League baseball tournament began in Columbus. Aw c'mon! Muscogee County students are only three weeks into summer break, and the baseball season for many of them is already over. But then again, sitting on the couch playing video games might bulk up some of them for football season.

+ Atlanta humbled Houston 4-1 in National League baseball, giving the franchise a winning record - for the life of the franchise, going back to Boston. WXTX reported the team hasn't been above .500 since 1923. Bobby Cox might wind up receiving sainthood, as well as a Hall of Fame plaque.

+ Instant Message to the Dallas Mavericks: Congratulations on winning the N.B.A. championship Sunday night. It was only fitting that an owner named Mark Cuban won the title in Miami.

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 JUN 11: Diamond Vision

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We're pausing this weekend to mark the Biblical festival of Pentecost. We'll have no post Sunday - and today offer this Classic Blog item from 10 Jun 06.)

"Welcome back to Christian Poker Showdown, presented by St. Pauli Girl. We're here at the biggest of all big events, the Universal Series of Poker! Former tournament champ and standup comic Gabe Kaplan is alongside - and Gabe, we're down to two big names in this game: Jesus and Satan."

"You know, Richard, I still can't believe Jesus Christ is here in person playing poker."

"Well, maybe Christians aren't playing Rook the way they used to."

"And these guys have been yakking it up at the table. At least Satan has. Let's listen in on him now."

"If you think you're really the Son of God, you'd give me a bit of a break here."

"Why should I do that? You've been scamming people out of their houses and fortunes all week."

"They're called bluffs, my friend. And did you see how I knocked out that one guy last Tuesday with three sixes? Classic!"

"We're playing basic Texas Hold 'Em here. And thanks to our table cameras, we can see what they've been dealt. Satan has -- a king and queen of spades! 'Big slick' for Satan!"

"That describes him pretty well, if you ask me, Richard. He's not going to sit still with that."

"Indeed, Satan raises 2,500 right away."

"Now, we don't know what Jesus has. He hasn't picked up his cards yet -- but he's going to call that big bet!"

"It's poker -- so this might be blind faith by Jesus."

"That's pretty clever, pal. But maybe Jesus is giving Satan that break he asked for. Christ is playing with half His hand tied behind his back - which kind of makes him like Rush Limbaugh."

"I don't dare touch that one. Instead, we'll look at the flop - and it's a jack of diamonds, five of hearts, king of clubs. A pair of kings for Satan!"

"All he needs is one more, and he can sing to Jesus, 'We three kings of Orient are.'"

"Are the kings on those cards really Oriental? Anyway, Jesus politely checks."

"I'd think the devil is going to bet here. He'll try a temptation of Christ in some way."

"It probably won't be the last one, either. Satan shoves in another 5,000."

"He's being the aggressor, that's for sure - but Jesus calls him again."

"And He STILL hasn't looked at those cards, yet He's not backing down at all. Here comes the turn card - a ten of diamonds. That doesn't help Satan much."

"Well, wait a second, blog-face. He can go top or bottom now for a straight. This could simply feed the beast -- if you know what I mean."

"I'll bet 10,000."

"Satan's being a daredevil again!"

"Except he already IS the devil, Gabe. And Jesus calls AGAIN, not looking at His cards!"

"W.W.J.D. What in the world is Jesus doing?"

"Here comes the last card out, the river -- a QUEEN of diamonds. Satan doesn't get his straight, but he has two high pair!"

"Yet Jesus is the Prince of Peace - checking again on the river. Satan must be ready to jump out of his chair."

"I'm all in."

"Satan is ready to risk it all on this hand! And you have to admit, his hand is pretty good."

"More kings and queens than at a Taylor County prom. Listen:"

"What do you think of THAT, Jesus?"

"Tell you what, Satan. I'll raise you -- and put salvation for all humanity on the table."

"Wohhhhh! Look at that, Gabe! Now this is REALLY going all in!"

"The stakes don't get much higher than this, Richard. I can't wait to see what Jesus has been holding. In fact, HE can't wait to see it, either."

"Nor can a lot of people now. He flips them over - an ACE-KING of DIAMONDS!?!?! Jesus has a straight flush!!"

"How does that old song go, Richard? Bring forth the royal diamonds?"

"I think that's diadem, Gabe. But jaws are on the floor all over this room!"

"The King of Kings had an ace, besides. Let's go down to our birthday gal, at tableside."

"Lyanne Melendez here with Satan the devil - and Satan, what happened on that last hand?!?!"

"(CENSORED), that's what happened! I mean, I had Jesus nailed. I nailed him once before, you know."

"Yeah, but after three days, He broke away from THAT one, too!"

"You didn't have to bring that up, at a time like this...."

"So after such a humiliating defeat, what does the devil do now?"

"I think I'll go back down to Georgia - see if there are any other fiddle players I can pick on."

"And as for Jesus, guys - He seems to have disappeared in the crowd."

"Thanks, Lyanne - and you know, Richard, Satan might like the change of scenery. As they say down in Georgia, the devil deals the cards."

"Gabe, after seeing such an epic moment of truth, what can we learn from this?"

"It's pretty clear to me. Always have a six-second tape delay, when Satan's playing poker."

"I mean beyond that. What can other Christian poker players take away from this match?"

"There are all sorts of lessons, probably. Don't get too big a head, around the river - especially around Someone who promises rivers of life. It also shows straight is the way that leads to success. What did you learn?"

"It proves something I heard a church pastor say the other day. When it comes to saving human beings -- God is making diamonds."

"He's probably making hearts in the process, too."

"Yeah -- but I'd still be careful around those clubs."

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 JUN 11: Basics Trained

What was that line from Paul Olson during a Columbus mayoral forum last year -- if the city wants to attract major industry, "you need rail"? Apparently the city has enough for the area's largest employer. Otherwise, the convoy of moving vans coming from Fort Knox would stretch for several miles.

The largest shipment of military vehicles thus far left Fort Knox, Kentucky for Fort Benning Thursday. The shipment is coming by train, and won't reach Benning until next Thursday. I'm not sure if the military is waiting for Mayor Tomlinson to come home from Germany, or if the train is stopping every day for Army Day celebrations.

The big train is carrying items for the Armor School such as tanks and Bradley Fighting Vehicles. WRBL reported they're loaded for shipment when they're no longer needed at Fort Knox. By the way, this explains why you should NOT expect any gold to be moved here from Fort Knox. The U.S. government needs it to avoid total bankruptcy.

But not everything apparently is being moved to Fort Benning by rail. Fort Knox planning manager Kevin LeMasters said several trucks will carry "sensitive items." That refers to things such as weapons and radios - but apparently NOT the girlfriends of soldiers.

The last graduation ceremony for the Armor School at Fort Knox is scheduled for July. But the school will have a casing ceremony in Kentucky today, as part of the move to Fort Benning. The only thing that final class will need to do is turn out the lights.

The shipment which left Thursday means more than half the military vehicles will have left Fort Knox, heading for Fort Benning. This truly is a sign that base realignment is in the home stretch. BRAC is supposed to be completed by September -- so if your guest room isn't under construction by now, it may be too late to cash in.

But in this summer of BRAC, many things remain unsettled. One big question is where Fort Knox families will live, and where children will attend school. For all we know, Spencer High School could be a tense tents place come August....

To prepare for all the incoming soldiers, Fort Benning had its last public hearing Thursday night on plans to expand by 82,000 acres. The turnout in Waverly Hall reportedly was small, because the Army has little interest in Harris County land. Besides, residents there already took one anti-American stand this week by opposing new baseball fields.

Back at Fort Knox, WRBL's Meredith Armstrong called what was happening there a "monumentous occasion." A what?!?! Well, maybe that means it's a step above gi-normous....

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Property tax envy may be building across Columbus. Consider this question which came Thursday....

When the WC Bradley company bought the mill properties in Uptown they requested and received the lowest urban district millage rate, Now that the Phenix and Eagle mill is developed and occupied has the city changed the millage rate to the higer more appropriate rate?

Linda King with the city Tax Assessor's office told me this question does NOT have a simple answer. So I apologize if you expected this property to be run of the mill....

Linda King explained the Eagle and Phenix condominiums are technically a "one-plus." The property is located in Urban District #1, but with an extra assessment based on whether it's part of the downtown Business Improvement District. King used a surprising phrase in describing what determines that extra assessment -- "purple people."

Linda King continued her colorful language, saying Eagle and Phenix Mills is a "gray area" depending on what sort of services the "purple people" from B.I.D. provide. She directed me to the Uptown Columbus office for details on that - but King guessed the condominiums are at the "lower end of that." In other words, more purple makes the city more "green."

I talked with King too late in the day to contact Uptown Columbus for more details - but I was told the condominiums are either in Urban District #4, #5 or #6. It may come down to whether the Business Improvement District ambassadors will offer valet parking for tips.

Meanwhile, it's now been one month after former Municipal Court Judge Haywood Turner died -- and a spat has developed about him:

Here's the article on my blog:News4Whites.blogspot.com in regards to Mr.Chitwood....

Contemptuously yours,Michael Weaver of Cols.,Ga.

The link needs a language warning, since Michael Weaver of the National Alliance turns Tim Chitwood's name into something you might consider profane. You'd think Weaver would thank Chitwood for mentioning his blog in the Ledger-Enquirer at all.

Tim Chitwood took some heat for describing Haywood Turner as "quirky" - but Chitwood actually was quoting Columbus attorney Frank Myers, who also had words of praise for Turner's work as a judge. If all you want is non-stop praise, skip the newspaper and turn on Trinity Broadcasting.

Now for other Thursday news which you might find quirky, praiseworthy or something in between:

+ WLTZ reported Auburn University officials are considering whether to make the entire campus smoke-free. For one thing, this could make chemistry lab experiments a lot less risky.

+ A Callaway Gardens commercial appeared on WTVM. This struck me as significant, because Callaway Gardens normally doesn't run ads on local television. Are that many people vacationing at the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail?

+ Alabama Governor Robert Bentley signed his state's version of an immigration reform bill. The new law is so tough that you could get in trouble simply for giving a ride to an illegal immigrant. So Columbus Council needs to add money to the budget for a hitchhikers' shelter at the east end of the Oglethorpe Bridge.

(Governor Bentley admits the immigration reform bill is tough. But the legislature could have gone even farther - and ordered Troy Public Radio to stop playing classical music by Russian composers.)

+ University of Alabama softball coach Patrick Murphy resigned, to become head coach at Louisiana State. I don't recall anyone ever saying Nick Saban was hired in exchange for a coach to be named later.

+ Instant Message to WRBL sportscaster Stuart Webber: Allow me to help you. When Teresa Whitaker turns to you again about the Columbus Lions' first-round playoff opponent and asks, "What do we know about Trenton?" - tell her it's the capital of New Jersey.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Classic Blog returning to the roots of our interest in poker....

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 753 (- 19, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 JUN 11: Doctor Roboto

Let's begin today with a housekeeping note. I adjusted this blog Wednesday night to make it easier to read, if you have a "smart phone" or other mobile device. If you're like me and you only have a "dumb phone," do NOT stare at your keypad attempting to read this blog.

The high-tech age is affecting almost everything we do - including a visit to the hospital. St. Francis Hospital announced Wednesday it will invest about one million dollars in a robotic device for conducting surgery. That old "goofy game" called "Operation" suddenly seems hopelessly out-of-date.

St. Francis Hospital hopes to install the "da Vinci Surgical Robot" by September. With a name like da Vinci, hopefully it can paint a mark on the proper area of the body for doctors to cut.

The da Vinci Surgical System is promoted as an effective and "minimally invasive" approach to complex procedures. Maybe that approach will work in the operating room, but I don't think it's working that well right now in Libya.

St. Francis President Robert Granger told WTVM local physicians will have to be trained in how to use the robotic surgical device. I can hear conservative church pastors complaining already -- that a Catholic hospital is forcing doctors to learn the da Vinci code.

But St. Francis Hospital believes the da Vinci Surgical System will attract new physicians from other areas. One doctor explained people who are trained in the technology will be glad "we have a robot in town." These probably also are the same people who've made 90 percent of their friends through Facebook.

So doctors still will be in the St. Francis Hospital operating room, after the robotic device is installed. That probably will be a relief to many patients - but will surgeons use that device to lobby the management for a mandatory lunch break?

But this announcement reminded me of the comment we mentioned Wednesday from a Phenix City Council meeting. Someone suggested the city replace some employees with robots -- which makes me wonder if that person actually likes automated voice mail systems, too.

My point is this: if a hospital with all sorts of smart people can't eliminate medical jobs with a million-dollar robotic system, city departments probably can't trade staff positions for robots either. You'll notice real people still put the proper amounts of ingredients on every Taco Bell taco....

The big medical announcement was tempered Wednesday night by news that an argument led to gunfire in the St. Francis Hospital parking lot. It's a sad reminder that "Robo-Cop" still must be only a movie.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Tuesday's brief mention of Columbus taxes made a reader want to know more....

Hi Richard,

What's the deal with the millage rate increase? It is merely raising the millage rate to where it was before the LOST, or is it an actual tax increase?

Also, why was the millage rate reduced for one year? I know that was a component of the state law, but Columbus lobbied for the law. I seem to remember city officials saying, after the sales tax was passed, that they would raise the rate again the next year. Was a millage rate reduction presented as part of the campaign to pass the sales tax? Just curious. The temporary reduction just seems disingenuous.

On a related note, how are property values holding up in Columbus? The AJC is always doing stories about the plummeting values in metro Atlanta, but my impression is that BRAC is holding things up in Columbus. That, and Columbus did not experience the rate of appreciation that Atlanta had.

Thanks,

Thomas

A caller to WLTZ's "Calvin Floyd Live" put the issue point-blank Wednesday to a Columbus Councilor. The caller forced Gary Allen to declare the proposed millage rate is higher this year than last year. He simply didn't want to hear the rest of Allen's explanation, about the rate almost matching 2009.

A news release I received from the city finance department explains the higher millage this way:

The proposed increase in the millage rates for the Urban Service Districts is due to the rollback requirement that applied towards 2010 property taxes from the 2009 Other Local Option Sales Tax. As indicated in 2010, this was a one-year direct reduction to property taxes required by Georgia law and the percentage increases shown reflect a return to 2009 millage rate levels.

While I don't remember if it was promoted, the one-year discount clearly was part of the package to sell the "streets and safety" sales tax. And it happened to occur during a city election year -- so incumbent Councilors Jerry Barnes and Mimi Woodson thank you for remembering that last year on Election Day.

Three public hearings on the proposed city millage rate increase are planned in the next two weeks. They include a morning and evening session next Tuesday, which happens to be Flag Day. We'll see how many angry property owners showing up waving red ones.

The only "property" I buy and sell in Columbus these days are chips at a poker table, so I looked for help online Wednesday night. One website shows the median real estate sales price has dropped slowly in recent years, falling to $100,000 in May. So hurry to an agent today, before that big train from Fort Knox reaches town.

As for other things we discovered Wednesday....

+ Councilor Gary Allen also told "Calvin Floyd Live" garbage collection expenses may be trimmed by going to an "alternate week" system. Allen explained it as a rotation of "white goods" and yard waste. Language like this will NOT get him invited to the One Columbus golf tournament.

+ Former Russell County High School catcher Casey Rasmus was drafted by the St. Louis baseball Cardinals. Put the other family members together and the score is now St. Louis 2, Atlanta 1.

+ The Auburn University football team visited the White House, to be honored for the BCS Championship. But Coach Gene Chizik probably flew home disappointed - because President Obama did NOT issue an executive order awarding Auburn the vacated 2004 title.

+ Instant Message to the person who called up this blog from Denizli, Turkey: That's pretty sneaky -- but I caught you, Mayor Tomlinson. What sort of business candidate is hiding there?

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 772 (+ 16, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 JUN 11: Take Your Ball and Stay Home

Columbus is supposed to be a baseball hot spot, right? We win state high school titles and Little League regional tournaments, right? So why won't some people allow ball diamonds to be built near their homes? Are they that concerned about victory parades ruining their neighborhoods?

A baseball rhubarb was on the Harris County Commission agenda Tuesday night. At issue was.... hey, wait a minute. Why is baseball the only sport where you hear about rhubarbs? In football or basketball, they're called arguments. But then again, those sports don't happen in the best growing season for rhubarb.

But anyway: WTVM reports Harris County Commissioners voted 3-1 against a proposal for six baseball fields on land along Highway 315. John Rodgers succeeded a couple of years ago in having the land rezoned "agricultural," so his family could play ball there. So much for setting up a season for their Facebook friends.

John Rodgers noted there's a thick row of trees between his land and the Chase Plantation subdivision in Fortson. That should take care of the main complaint - the service calls for Columbus glass companies.

But people in Chase Plantation had other concerns. One homeowner said nearby baseball fields would lead to too much noise and pollution. That's probably why Jeff Foxworthy owns a lot of Harris County land, but never has opened a comedy club on it.

There apparently even were rumors in Fortson that John Rodgers's baseball complex would have alcohol sales. C'mon now - he wanted six fields, not six packs.

But John Rodgers didn't help his cause with something he did on the land in February. WRBL revealed he was cited for having a church softball practice on the grounds - because "agricultural" zoning doesn't even allow that. The church members probably could plant rows of corn, but they couldn't catch "cans of corn."

The Harris County Planning Commission was unanimously against rezoning the land as "commercial," for an athletic complex. So John Rodgers tried to adjust his proposed for Tuesday night's meeting -- promising no lights on the fields and no play after sundown. But apparently none of the commissioners are transplants from Chicago.

Tuesday night's vote means John Rodgers may have to sell his land. It also means Harris County youngsters will have to look elsewhere for a place to learn baseball skills -- and the Columbus Northern Little League powerhouse apparently is safe for years to come.

But this vote also reinforces the fickle attitude people in the Columbus area have about baseball. When Little League and high school teams are successful, people love it. When Columbus State plays well, they'll accept it. But once you graduate from college, you're supposed to pick a Southeastern Conference football team and love it for the rest of your life.

Columbus-area baseball players have received national attention in recent years. Take Tuesday - when Columbus High School catcher Jordan Weems was drafted by the Boston Red Sox. Considering Chase Weems was drafted by the New York Yankees a few years ago, their parents will have to handle things very carefully for awhile.

As it happens, Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer had a tongue-in-cheek column suggesting Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson appoint a task force to bring professional baseball back to Columbus. If I may politely point out something to Chuck Williams - the Columbus Sports Council still exists.

That Columbus Sports Council brought several college baseball tournaments to Golden Park over the last several weeks. The latest was the National Club Baseball Association World Series, which East Carolina won last Thursday night. Yet we've heard more about midsummer triathlons -- as if more Columbus residents will show up to see if someone collapses on Broadway.

Some people think the answer to Columbus's lack of minor league baseball is a new ballpark on the north side. Yet Tuesday night's vote in Harris County suggests baseball even might be a tough sell there. Maybe the fields belong much farther north - in West Point, where Kia executives from South Korea would make it a matter of national pride.

Let's quickly check the scoreboard of other Tuesday news....

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 97 degrees F. The Georgia state climatologist predicted the state's weather will be hotter than normal this summer. Isn't this a little like predicting someone will start selling fireworks before Independence Day?

(Alabama Governor Robert Bentley signed a proclamation banning all outdoor burning. This had to be a difficult decision for Bentley - because that means Baptist churches can't hold book-burnings for awhile.)

+ Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson broke away from her German tour group to sell Columbus to a potential new high-tech manufacturing company. The mayor told WRBL the meeting was "positive." We'll know that for sure if the Bavarian House restaurant announces plans to move to Schatulga Road.

(The Augusta Chronicle did some checking, and found Mayor Tomlinson earns $75,845. The mayor of Savannah who's touring Germany with her is paid only $42,000. I can't wait for Mayor Tomlinson to get home and tell us who sat on the airplane in first-class, and who was in coach.)

+ The Phenix City Council approved a two-percent pay raise for all city employees. Isn't this amazing? Compare it with the big raise Councilors received a couple of years ago, and this is exactly how the private sector operates.

(One spectator at the council meeting told WLTZ some city jobs should be eliminated, because "we could get robots" to do them. Yeah, right - until frustrated downtown drivers confront a robot writing a parking ticket.)

+ Columbus Police told the Ledger-Enquirer a woman was arrested for walking out of Cheddars restaurant without paying an 80-dollar bill. The lesson here is obvious - don't walk into Cheddars unless you've got the cheese.

+ Deputy City Manager David Arrington told WDAK's "Viewpoint" the groundbreaking for a new natatorium on Rigdon Road finally should occur sometime after Labor Day. So please stop the rumors about plans to melt the new ice rink....

+ Prosecutors unveiled a list of potential witnesses in the Alabama bingo corruption trial. For some reason, one name on the list is former Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue. Did he quietly join Larry Langford on one of those gambling trips to Victoryland?

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 756 (- 9, 1.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 JUN 11: The TAP Runs Dry

The first big cut came Monday night, in Columbus's season of tight budgets. The bad news for teenage mothers is that their education plans for next term must change. But the good news is that diapers still can be taken to the curb twice a week before school.

The Muscogee County School Board voted 6-2 in a special work session to close the Teenage Parenting Center on 11^th Avenue. I'm not sure why the abbreviation for this center became TAP. After all, Columbus never has had a Tournament Players Club golf course.

Superintendent Susan Andrews says the suggestion to close TAP came down to economics. She explained the center requires the largest amount of school district money for the smallest number of students. I'm guessing second place on this list goes to the high school tennis teams.

The school district plans to move teenage mothers and pregnant girls back into regular schools. But one teenager warned WTVM some mothers may decide to drop out, with no on-site day care center to care for their children. You may find those moms at library computers today, e-mailing MTV to appear on a reality show.

Yet statistics presented to the school board reveal only 63 percent of the seniors in TAP completed all their graduation requirements this past term. More than one-third fell short, even with the special attention -- and now the students will need even better math skills, to figure out day care costs.

Superintendent Susan Andrews estimates the closing of TAP will save enough money to add two instructional days to the 2011-12 school calendar. OK - but those days had better not come right before holiday weekends, or the whole idea might go to waste.

Early comments I read online Monday night showed some people supported the closing of TAP, as a way of focusing school priorities. But others said the vote shows a lack of compassion toward some of the neediest students. Hopefully those "others" will charge very low babysitting rates come August.

The Muscogee County school budget for fiscal 2012 is complicated by this summer's expected big wave of base realignment. About one million dollars is set aside for BRAC. Hmmmm - maybe the teen mothers should e-mail Fort Knox, and urge the families there to move to Harris or Russell Counties.

A line-by-line budget for Muscogee County schools is NOT available online, the way the proposed Columbus city budget is. But a summary in slideshow form mentions other cuts, including an end to funding for the Partners in Education program. The superintendent could have frozen PIE, but instead it's complete down the garbage disposal.

A final vote on the fiscal 2012 budget will come in two weeks. Perhaps a last-minute private bailout for the Teenage Parenting Center will show up by then, as it did several years ago. If not, sex education courses throughout the school district next term could have surprise guest speakers.

Meanwhile, the city of Columbus is releasing a proposed property tax increase today. A one-year reduction required by state law is over - and as a result, some neighborhoods could see their millage rate jump 112 percent. Not even Wal-Mart slaps people in the face like this, after a "rollback" ends.

The amount of property tax millage increase depends on the "Urban Services District" where you live. Hopefully you know which district is yours. The millage rates seem to change around the north and south edge of Columbus - for instance, to benefit people who dare to live near the Talbot County line.

BLOG UPDATE: "I frankly don't remember...." That's what Columbus Councilor Gary Allen said Monday, when we read him some of the accusations sent by civil rights activist C.A. "Brother Love" Hardmon. This new dispute involving the Muscogee County Marshal's Office needs a good newsy name - and I hope "TitleMax" won't sue me for trademark infringement.

Councilor Gary Allen did not recall how he addressed Captain Curtis Lockette at a meeting in May. Allen told me any reference to Lockette as "Mister" was NOT meant to be "defaming or.... to disparage him in a negative way." But before our phone conversation was over, Allen did turn Lockette from a Mister into a "Deputy Captain."

Gary Allen agrees that his point of contention in May was Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson's decision to go outside "Council protocol," by asking a Marshal's officer to respond to a cost analysis by Tollie Strode. Allen added he didn't recall former Mayor Jim Wetherington doing such a thing. I'm not sure that warrants a recall petition drive....

"I've been called Mr. Allen. I've been called Gary," the Councilor added - saying the titles people use in addressing him is no big personal issue. If an older person who admired J.R. Allen calls him "Sonny Boy," that might be a bit different.

Gary Allen called up this blog on his computer while we were on the phone. Then he called Monday's e-mail "typical of Brother Love." I should note the Councilor never once referred to him as "Mister Love."

(Allen added he's concluded Brother Love doesn't seem to like him very much. Maybe it's Nate Sanderson's turn to arrange a private negotiation session, which will lead to a nice Government Center news conference.)

So what about that other issue -- the future of the Muscogee County Marshal's Office? Councilor Gary Allen told me the big question right now is finding "the proper venue" for doing an assessment of possible consolidation. The Marshal and Sheriff seem to think the best venue would be the city landfill.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's see if the InBox stirred up any more whirlwinds Monday. We mentioned the Uptown Columbus tour of loft housing - and that brought this....

Seem's to me if they wanted to showcase the downtown area amenities they would have had that open house from midnight to 3:00 AM just to give prospective buyers the full picture.

Hmmmm -- I guess that would be a better time to test how soundproof the walls are.

Others are simply concerned about the June heat wave....

I heard on the weather channel since all weather evaluation equipment is contained in a shed the temperature is not true..Add 10 to 15 degrees if you are in the sun..WHEW...I measured the temp in the sun and it was 111.In the shade the temp was 100..Then I melted...

Admittedly the hot weather is tough to take. But I thank my niece and new mom Dr. Heather, for discovering one advantage of the blistering sunshine. She reports brown diaper stains disappear quickly.

If you want to join the conversation, look for the link below. In the meantime, here's a check of other Monday headlines:

+ The Muscogee County School Board considered adjustments to the Student Behavior Code. One apparent change would bar children from listening to MP-3 players while riding school buses. Save those "lip dub" practice sessions for the school hallways, please.

+ Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson's tour of Germany took her to a section of Berlin which has been turned into an "urban farm." Uh-oh - after what I've heard on the news, I hope the mayor didn't touch any of the sprouts.

+ Jury selection began in the federal corruption trial of Victoryland owner Milton McGregor. If your office has a "pool" going to guess how many days the trial will last, you're probably rooting for McGregor to be acquitted.

+ Instant Message to WTVM meteorologist April Gonzales: Congratulations! You showed more personality on your first day than Scott Pelley did anchoring his first major network newscast. He'll put to sleep all the viewers you're waking up.

This year's count of unique visitors is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 JUN 11: Summer Tours

This was one of those weekends when I felt in a poetic mood....

In 14-hundred and 92, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

In 20-hundred and 11, Columbus leaders are in the heavens.

They're flying here, they're flying there. It seems they're flying everywhere.

If budget squabbles get you down, it's high time to head out of town.

It turns out the Columbus City Manager has an overseas trip of his own in the works. City officials confirm Isaiah Hugley will head for China later this month. He'll probably fly to China -- even though Hugley's critics would prefer he take that proverbial slow boat.

(I should stop right here and note this trip is to mainland China. At least one local pastor openly wonders why no one calls it "red China" anymore, since the Communist Party remains in charge. Maybe it's because the color of the U.S. could change every four years, depending on which party wins the White House.)

The City Manager was invited by an arm of the University of Georgia to visit China, and teach civil servants lessons in "management innovation." Lesson one: if an opening occurs in a city department, simply hand it over to an assistant city manager for several months.

The Carl Vinson Institute in Athens will help pay the way for Isaiah Hugley to visit China. But the Chinese government also is paying part of the cost - once again showing how China holds the future of the debt-heavy U.S. in the palm of its hands.

The timing of the city manager's overseas trip isn't clear to me -- but it apparently will begin after Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson comes home from Europe. She flew to Germany over the weekend, and is in Berlin on today's anniversary of the "D Day" invasion. Sunday afternoon was open for museum visits -- and of course, waving a U.S. flag from Fort Benning over Nazi exhibits.

Mayor Tomlinson joined five other U.S. mayors for dinner Sunday night with a German company which specializes in "sustainable architecture." Some of the company's designs recently were displayed at New York's Museum of Modern Art - which means you'll never see them in front of the Columbus Public Library.

(This business has designed everything from high-rise apartment buildings and police stations to a "Berlin chair." That chair looks more fitting for a martini bar or an Ikea catalog....)

Other Columbus city leaders have made overseas trips in recent years. But when Bob Poydasheff was mayor, he took his wife to Europe simply for a vacation. And when Muscogee County School Board member John Wells went to Spain - well, let's say he didn't bring back any ideas for adding bull roundups to an agriculture curriculum.

But as Mayor Tomlinson left the country, a new potboiler involving Columbus city government threatened to boil over. Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer revealed the city auditor is examining whether tickets for Columbus Civic Center concerts were swapped for personal services. How many tires can you get for a couple of Brad Paisleys?

-> We hit it big again Thursday night at a local poker tournament. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: I wondered if a certain civil rights activist would comment on this. Sure enough, he did....

Richard,

"But I noticed Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson allowed a Marshal's deputy to response to Tollie Strode's cost analysis, even though he wasn't on the agenda. When Mayor Jim Wetherington pulled that trick, some people nearly considered it treasonous." (Blog of Columbus, Georgia June 1, 2011)

You certainly hit the nail right on the head with that one, as far as Jim Wetherington pulling that same trick at council. Wetherington pulled that trick time and time again. What you did not say was he got away with it every time and Councilor Gary Allen nor Councilor Jerry "Pops" Barnes never uttered a word when Jim Wetherington did it for 4 years. Suddenly, when Mayor Tomlinson calls up a public safety employee to respond to a citizen Gary Allen claims he had never seen anything like that ever happen at Columbus Council. Either he has not paid much attention all these years or Councilor Allen was being dishonest. Bottom line, CCG employees have always been called up to rebut citizens during council and were never required to be on the public agenda.

Oddly enough, you never saw Councilor Jerry Pops Barnes nor Gary Allen public try to lecture Mayor Jim Wetherington or talk down to him. Neither man never publicly disrespected Jim Wetherington they way intentionally disrespected this mayor and tried to embarrass her during this budget review process. Perhaps they have a problem with a female being mayor and public safety director. Whatever it is it needs to be addressed head on.

Another thing you probably caught on that video like many other citizens did was the MCMO deputy was the rank of captain. Mayor Tomlinson made it clear she was calling up Captain Lockett to speak to citizen Strode's statistical analysis that the deputy marshals were wasting taxpayer dollars and time writing traffic citations in the field and ignoring their CORE mission, which is the buzz word all the anti-Muscogee County Marshal's Office crowd constantly repeat like the big lie that it is. Councilor R. Gary Allen deliberately called Captain Lockett "Mr. Lockett" when he made his false statement to the mayor about CCG employees not being called on to rebut citizens appearing on the public agenda.

A veteran councilor calling a uniformed deputy marshal "mister" was an act of disrespect Councilor Allen wanted everybody to see and hear. It was very calculated and very deliberate. He said it straight out without equivocation or hesitation.

Councilor Allen did not call Captain Lockett deputy or even officer, as you might expect; he called him "mister" as if the captain was not even in law enforcement or held a legitimate rank of captain Allen should recognize. Councilor Barnes and Allen are so blinded by there animosity toward the marshal they do not even realize that the absurd arguments they are making and the stunts they are pulling in this debate of placing the deputy marshal and probably other law enforcement officers in the field in greater danger by signaling to the criminal element there are uniformed peace officers out there that you do not have to recognize and respect. That is the dangerous and irresponsible message that both councilors are responsible for sending out. And that is what citizens should be worried about and should demand come to an immediate halt before some law enforcement officers gets hurt.

Apparently, Councilor Allen has a personal deep seated and longstanding dislike of the MCMO that will not go away until the MCMO is abolished as Councilor Pops Barnes has announced on WRBL News and at Columbus City Council. Noticeably, Councilor Barnes does not want the MCMO deputies writing tickets in the field and his appointee to the Charter Review Commission, D.L. Moore, does not want them in a law enforcement style uniform. Councilor Gary Allen does not even want them to have the same vehicle as CPD nor riding down the same street at the same time that a sheriff's deputy does. Those very lame arguments coupled with the high degree of contempt publicly demonstrated by both councilors are a surefire tip off that duplication of services and waste of taxpayer dollars are not at all what Pops Barnes' call to abolish the marshal's office a little over 2 years after we pass a permanent sales tax projected to bring in 30-36 million dollars in revenue with 70% of that money going to public safety agencies.

None of this is very pleasant to hear. But somebody as a concerned citizen and as a service has to bring it to the attention of other fellow citizens for their consideration.

There is no doubt more to all this bizarre complaining about sworn law enforcement officers enforcing the law on our city streets than meets the eye.

The logical conclusion is that it is all personal and political and very much so.

Take care,

Brother Love, Director

Grassroots Unity Movement for Change

Ohhhh - so what the mayor does is not the issue anymore. How Columbus Councilors react to it is. Today's readers don't have to watch "Wheel of Fortune" tonight to witness free spins.

For me to guess why Councilor Gary Allen called Captain Curtis Lockette (that's with an extra "e", Mr. Director Hardmon) "Mister" would call for mind-reading on my part. And let's face it -- I can't always be sure of Brother Love's emotions when he writes me.

I've attended church groups for years which tend to be on the formal side - and "Mister" was always an acceptable way of addressing someone, including the pastor. You didn't dare call the pastor by his first name. Yet somehow, we stopped short of calling the Lord "Mr. Jesus."

But at least Gary Allen called Curtis Lockette "Mister" at that Columbus Council meeting a couple of weeks ago. It could have been worse, you know. Be thankful Allen didn't repeat some of the rants I heard athletes use on TV years ago....

We'll wait to see if a "rally for titles" develops outside the Government Center - and move on to other weekend headlines:

+ Columbus Police told the Ledger-Enquirer 18 people were arrested in a crackdown on pandering and prostitution. Two of the suspects are females - which makes me wonder if they're the women who wanted to "date" me over Memorial Day. I could pick them out of a lineup, as long as they're fully clothed.

+ An open house showed off loft housing in the downtown area. If you lease the right location over the Chattahoochee River, you might be able to pay the rent by selling video of lovebirds doing unseemly things on the Riverwalk.

+ Troy University reported the costume of the "T-Roy" mascot has disappeared. Police are on the lookout for a giant wooden horse....

+ Former "American Idol" finalist Bo Bice performed at the Phenix City Amphitheatre. Do you think Bice's career would have turned out differently, had he won the final vote in 2005? I still think Carrie Underwood would have wound up endorsing 100-percent pure Vitamin Water.

+ The Columbus Lions won the "520 feud" over Albany Panthers, to clinch the S.I.F.L. Southern Division title. That means home field advantage for two rounds of the playoffs -- and don't be surprised if NBC Sports shows up with a big production truck. The network might need a backup come September, to prove Sunday night still is football night.

+ Instant Message to whomever spray-painted the words "Sooey Catfish" and "Killa Catfish" on a bridge above the Atlanta Downtown Connector: Why weren't you that enthusiastic about Columbus minor-league baseball before the team left town?

This year's count of unique visitors now is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 744 (- 31, 4.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 JUN 11: D.D.-Day

Did you know Saturday was National Trails Day? I didn't know until WXTX "News at Ten" mentioned it -- and since Alabama Governor Robert Bentley noted the occasion, at least I trailed him.

Friday received a lot more publicity, because it was National Donut Day. Shouldn't these events be more connected? You buy donuts, then leave them on the trail to find your way home if you're lost.

National Donut Day only seemed to become a big deal in the last couple of years, because big donut chains gave away free food to mark the event. The first Friday in June marks the anniversary of the Salvation Army offering donuts to needy people - but you'll notice the Salvation Army doesn't join in this celebration unless a big fire erupts somewhere.

The thought of free donuts doesn't scare me in the least. After all, I used to devour four or five at a time when my father would bring a box home from work on Saturday afternoons. Those were the "good old days," I suppose - back when I only stopped eating them when my mother forced it.

But only two shops in Columbus offered free donuts Friday. I ruled out Krispy Kreme right away, for several reasons. It would be a crosstown drive from my home, and almost all of the chain's donuts have a potential pork product in their glaze. For some reason, Jews and Christians don't think much of it -- while some Muslims consider monostearate monstrous.

That left Dunkin Donuts, and a different dicey dilemma. To get the free donut, you had to buy a beverage -- and what I discovered at the downtown D.D. a few weeks ago concerned me. Believe it or not, a 20-ounce bottle of diet cola is NOT a "beverage." Not for using a donut coupon, at least. Who's making the rules here, Jamie Oliver?

So I feared the worst from the Dunkin Donuts on Veterans Parkway Friday -- and sure enough, the rules were the same. A "beverage" on National Donut Day was defined as something from the beverage board. That meant something pricey like coffee or latte - the things which have made Dunkin Donuts little more than a Starbucks with better pastries.

I turned in disappointment at this news and walked out - realizing there was a second Dunkin Donuts waiting on Manchester Expressway. Perhaps the manager there would play by different rules. Silly me - that only seems to happen with the gas prices at Circle K.

A corporate sign on the counter at the Manchester Expressway Dunkin Donuts confirmed the worst. The beverage required for the free donut had an asterisk, specifying no "cooler beverages." That meant not even a container of orange juice -- so maybe Michelle Obama wasn't involved in this after all.

"I'll go ahead and knuckle under," I told the worker at Dunkin Donuts. I ordered three double chocolate donuts, including the free one -- and a small unsweetened iced tea for the required beverage. It cost me 30 cents more than the bottle of diet cola. And since I was being a big spender, I went ahead and made it raspberry tea.

As I drove home from National Donut Day, I reflected on how the rules had changed. Two years ago, Dunkin Donuts simply gave one to all comers. Last year, a diet soda would have been acceptable for the beverage. This year, it wasn't. So what will they do in 2012 - insist you order one of those new tuna sandwiches on croissants, which have nothing at all to do with donuts?

And while the major chains made such a fuss about National Donut Day, my local favorite apparently did nothing special. Golden Donuts has lower prices and more variety in baked goods. If you want a free deal there, you'll have to wait until 24 December - and time your trip for the hour when they're cleaning off the shelves, before closing for Christmas.

-> We hit it big again Thursday night at a local poker tournament. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

SUNDAY SOAPBOX: Friday's focus on the 100-degree heat brought some words of clarification....

Hi Richard.:

It's not that we scoff at global warming, , we just scoff at the hubris of those who insist man has caused the problem and that man can affect a change. After all scientists tell us it's also warming up on Mars and other planets and last I checked no one from earth lives on any of the other planets.

Best Wishes,

Jim

Uh-oh -- I didn't realize it was getting warmer on Mars, too. That may explain why scientists can't find life there. All the Martians are inside air-conditioned caves.

Did you notice how much cooler Columbus was Saturday? The high was NOT a record, and ONLY reached 98 degrees F. Somehow the presence of Katherine Kington doing both news and weather on TV didn't make things as hot as I expected.

This year's count of unique visitors now is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 JUN 11: A Triple Double

It happened again in Columbus Thursday - another record-breaking temperature, as the high reached 100 degrees F. Maybe two days of triple-digit heat to start June will inspire summer school students to aim for perfection.

An air conditioning service company in my neighborhood apparently paid attention to the forecast for this week. It had employees working Monday, on Memorial Day. But then again, maybe these are workers from Alabama who really take Jefferson Davis's birthday seriously next Monday.

This is NOT a good time for an air conditioning service company to have a disaster. Yet WLTZ reported Comfortmasters Heating and Air on Harold Street had a fire late Wednesday, leaving about $80,000 in damage. C'mon now - is copper really more valuable at recycling centers if it smells burnt?

This also does not seem to be a good time to stage a fire drill. Yet Russell County set one up Thursday for volunteer fire departments. Crew members received training in how to put out a burning propane tank. At least the organizers could have put that tank in the shade....

The early heat wave may be leading some people to do strange things. Ed Bostic did his morning show on WRLD-FM "Boomer 95.3" Thursday from the Columbus Civic Center roof. It was a publicity stunt to spur ticket sales for this weekend's big Columbus Lions game - but it should have been sponsored in part by Coppertone.

But there's a little good news during this heat wave. For instance, four public swimming pools are open in Columbus. They'll be open this weekend - but for the last couple of years, they've been closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. Former Parks Director Tony Adams may have been trying to send a message to Port Columbus all along....

On top of that, scattered thunderstorms developed around the area late Wednesday. One was strong enough to put Chattahoochee County in a severe thunderstorm warning for awhile -- and frustrate some Fort Benning soldiers, who hoped the swamp area of the basic training course finally would be dry.

Any rain would be helpful right now, as a new government report Thursday put almost all of Muscogee County in "severe drought" conditions. Why, Columbus is nearly as dry as the mayor's sense of humor....

The lack of moisture is such a concern that Georgia Agriculture Commissioner Gary Black led a group of farmers Thursday in a prayer for rain in Macon. Before you scoff at this sort of approach, please answer this question. How are the atheists doing in developing a mass cloud-seeding project?

Others may scoff at the idea that "global warming" is behind the 100-degree days in Columbus this early in June. But think back to last year, when we had temperatures in the upper 90's well after Labor Day. In fact, the only "heat" which seems to be abating is the Miami basketball team.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on the future of the Teenage Parenting Center ended Thursday afternoon. Ten of our 12 voters like the suggestion from Muscogee County School Superintendent Susan Andrews that the center close, to save the district money. If that happens, hopefully there will be a farewell ceremony - with a bugler playing "Taps," of course.

One voter noted during our frustratingly nonscientific poll a lot of money is spent "on mainstreaming and normalizing those with diminished mental and physical capacity. But, for this TPAC we pay for segregating demonstrably healthy young ladies." Others might argue if those ladies had utilized their "mental capacity" better, they wouldn't be teen parents now.

-> We hit it big again Thursday night at a local poker tournament. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of Thursday's topics put a reader in the "Euro-Zone" -- well, sort of....

Hi Richard,

You wrote: "A Government Center statement says Mayor Tomlinson received the invitation after meeting the German Consulate General in April at the National Infantry Museum. This raised one question for me right away -- did he know she's married?"

Judging by recent events in the news, it's a good thing she didn't meet the French Consulate General, as it is doubtful he would have asked if she were married or not - or even if she were willing or not.

Regards,

John D

Hmmmm -- he must be referring to the charges against the former director of the International Monetary Fund. Something tells me we'll never see that Hardee's commercial claiming "It's better when it's French" again.

Let's check crimes closer to home, in our review of other Thursday headlines....

+ Columbus Police told WLTZ two owners of the Fantasy's "adult stores" have turned themselves in, on charges of selling synthetic drugs marked as bath salts. Why would an "adult store" sell bath salts in the first place? I'd think it would be sexier to fill tubs with Mr. Bubble.

(The strange twist here is that WRBL bought some of the suspicious bath salts in February. Randy Robertson with the Sheriff's Office declared then they were NOT illegal in Georgia. The state legislature passed a bill apparently banning them, but it doesn't become law until July. Is that why the Metro Narcotics Task Force chose to invite WTVM on last week's raid of Fantasy's -- because that station didn't know better?)

+ Cordele Police searched for a man who is shoplifting boxes full of ammunition from a Wal-Mart store - and doing it by stuffing the ammunition down his pants. My late father used to tell my older brother to "get the lead out" first thing in the morning, but I don't think this is what he meant.

+ Phenix City Council discussed plans to develop the area around the Riverchase exit along the North Bypass. The exit leading to Jack Hughston Memorial Hospital has been empty since it opened a few years ago - and you know the economy is bad when there isn't even a Waffle House there.

+ High school students in the Junior ROTC program took part in a summer camp at Fort Benning, and leaped from the jump tower. The students can't wait for the new school year to start - so they can challenge the cheerleaders to jump higher than that.

This year's count of unique visitors now is up more than 25 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

2 JUN 11: Your Papers, Please

Columbus made weather history Wednesday, with its earliest 100-degree day of the year -- a high of 102 F. There could be a fringe benefit to global warming, you know. Illegal immigrants will stay in Mexico, because they'll conclude the U.S. really isn't cooler at all.

Illegal immigration was the topic of a training session at Columbus State University Wednesday. Dozens of law officers were taught how to apply Georgia's new immigration reform rules. The process might be easier in Columbus than in other cities - since we don't have a minor league baseball team right now.

Dale Mann with the Georgia Public Safety Training Center told GPB Radio the methods for law officers should NOT change much, once the new immigration law takes effect in July. In other words, small-town police chiefs and sheriffs still will listen carefully for whether or not you have a Southern drawl.

Law officers were told they still will need "probable cause" before checking their citizenship status. Or as a Cherokee County deputy sheriff told WXTX: "You've got to have a reason to pull somebody over" - a translation for those of you who already have forgotten all those years of watching "Law and Order."

Clarke County Sheriff Ira Edwards Jr. says when all is said and done, law officers will "have to be fair" when it comes to enforcing the new Georgia immigration law. He has a good point, of course. The State Patrol should ask for President Obama's birth certificate, as much as they ask for anyone else's.

(The Lee County, Alabama Sheriff happened to appear Wednesday on WLTZ's "Calvin Floyd Live." Jay Jones said he teaches officers the importance of developing good communications skills. You certainly don't want a deputy stumbling over any words while reading the Miranda rights to suspects.)

While Georgia law officers prepare for the new immigration rules, there's still a possibility they will be delayed. Lawsuits have been filed to stop the law
from taking effect - but supporters of the change can take comfort in one thing. As far as we know, the legal documents all have been filed in English.

But warnings about the new Georgia immigration law already may be spreading far and wide. Some South Georgia farmers say they're having trouble finding workers to harvest their crops. Offering discount "you-pick-em" prices apparently doesn't work for Vidalia onions, like it does for Taylor County strawberries.

Since law officers are preparing for Georgia's new immigration rules, it's only fair that drivers prepare as well. If you want to avoid making an officer suspicious and save a trip to jail for not being a legal U.S. citizen, here's what I recommend....

+ Keep all potentially troublesome items hidden in your trunk -- such as the burritos you're taking home from Taco Bell.

+ End the habit of always switching the radio to classical music when an officer pulls you over. One German opera singer now could ruin everything.

+ If you play your own music in the car, donate the Foreigner albums to the Salvation Army as soon as possible.

+ If you drive an import, learn the English translation of what you're driving. But if you own a French Citroën, you might have to adjust the spelling to Spanish and call it a "lemon."

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of international travel, the Columbus mayor's office announced Wednesday Teresa Pike Tomlinson will take an all-expenses-paid trip to Germany next week. She's following the example of several U.S. Presidents. When your domestic policies aren't working, leave the country and look like a world leader.

A Government Center statement says Mayor Tomlinson received the invitation after meeting the German Consulate General in April at the National Infantry Museum. This raised one question for me right away -- did he know she's married?

The mayors of Savannah and Cincinnati also have been invited to visit Germany next week. But Mayor Tomlinson has the advantage of meeting with a company which has made Columbus a finalist for a U.S. location, and could bring at least 500 potential jobs. OK, Mayor, let me help you a little - Dirk Nowitzke plays basketball. For Dallas.

While the economic opportunity is promising, the trip to Germany comes at a rather awkward time for Mayor Tomlinson. She'll be out of the country in the week before the final public hearing on the proposed city budget. Who will lobby for the mayor's issues while she's gone? Who will carry that single trash sack all the way to the curb?

(But maybe it's Columbus Council which should be concerned about this trip. Mayor Tomlinson might come home from Germany and decide she wants full control over city officers after all.)

Let's bring everything back home now, as we wrap up other Wednesday news:

+ The Georgia Redistricting Alliance had a public meeting at the Mildred Terry branch library. The state legislature will have a special session this summer on drawing new district lines, and some groups.... hey, wait a minute! That may explain why State Senator Josh McKoon became a member of Port Columbus. He wants Ed Harbison to move his district home to Cusseta.

+ Fort Benning held a seminar for military families on the proper use of social media. Officers are concerned updates on Facebook and Twitter might reveal security details to potential terrorists. That's too bad -- because plenty of privates probably dream of becoming the Foursquare "mayor" of a restaurant, in hopes of getting promoted.

+ WRBL receptionist Margaret Johnson retired, after 54 years on the job. She's moving to the mountains of Tennessee to live with her son - who happens to be the former Muscogee County Sheriff. I didn't know Ralph Johnson had moved completely out of the area. So I guess that means the Phenix City Police Chief's job is safe for a while.

(Instant Message to Ms. Johnson: Are you REALLY sure you want to retire right now? WTVM has a dire need for a weather forecaster at the moment.)

Our count of unique visitors is up nearly 24 percent from 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 821 (+ 22, 2.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

1 JUN 11: Honeymoon's End

In 2011 terms, what a Columbus Council committee did Tuesday was like a session on Facebook. Councilors had a choice of adding or deleting "friends." And let's face it - deleting a friend simply is NOT a very friendly thing to do.

In classic college terms, it was "add-drop day" for the proposed city budget. The Columbus Council Budget Review Committee decided to add several things Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson wanted dropped. In fact, it's tempting to borrow from a classic New York tabloid headline - but the committee stopped short of telling her to drop dead.

Mayor Tomlinson wanted to cut $300,000 from the city subsidy for Port Columbus. The budget review committee decided to cut only $50,000, matching what the naval museum recommended. It's the biggest win for pirates around here since Chattahoochee Valley Community College last reached the national baseball playoffs.

Mayor Tomlinson wanted to cut the city subsidy for public golf courses. The budget review committee restored that subsidy - rejecting the mayor's warnings that such a golf approach would leave the city budget in the deep rough.

Mayor Tomlinson wanted to save more than $300,000 in city money by reducing garbage collection to one day a week. The budget review committee said no, preferring to keep twice-a-week pickup. The heat wave with highs in the mid-nineties has come at a terrible time for the mayor....

If all that wasn't enough, Muscogee County Sheriff John Darr called a news conference Tuesday to declare he opposes any consolidation of his department with the Marshal's Office. Darr said the departments have separate duties to fill. And besides, it gives Columbus an extra chance of winning medals at the Georgia Police and Fire Games.

Put it all together, and Tuesday may have been the roughest day Teresa Pike Tomlinson has had since becoming mayor. I say "may have been" because I'm not sure when the concept of a Butler's Pantry restaurant on Seventh Street was abandoned for "Vintage 222."

(There's only one thing which could have made Tuesday worse for the mayor - but I have received NO new e-mails from Tollie Strode.)

Mayor Tomlinson tried to make her case to reporters after the five-hour budget meeting. She told WRBL the budget review committee added almost two million dollars in spending, and in the process would reduce the city's reserve fund to 65 days. This is only daring SOA Watch to hold a longer protest in November....

The mayor added she wasn't surprised by Sheriff John Darr's support of Marshal Greg Countryman and opposition to a merger. But she still hopes Columbus Council will approve $70,000 to study of how much might be saved. It's a new twist on economic theory - you have to spend money to save money.

But Mayor Tomlinson admitted to WLTZ there may not be room in the city budget for an outside assessment of a public safety merger. So she plans to proceed with an "internal assessment." Come to think of it, the new mayor hasn't taken one step toward replacing the city auditor....

The mayor invited residents to attend one last public hearing on the proposed city budget, during the 14 June Columbus Council meeting. We'll see if more people are there holding up one finger for garbage collection, or the Columbus High School state baseball title.

Perhaps Columbus city officials are overlooking a way to bring in extra revenue. Look at what WXTX put on the screen Tuesday night during the 10:00 p.m. news -- a Ford logo with the time and temperature. Not in a corner of the screen, but practically in the middle. Why not have Council meetings sponsored? Start with Sanctuary bookstore sponsoring the invocation....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Another budget decision was made Tuesday, about an item mentioned in this message from Monday -- a message which sent us backpedaling to last week's Columbus Council meeting. Does all that make sense?

I was watching the video of a meeting of the Council where Hughley stuck his foot in his mouth again..Councilman Allen was asking him about the Marshall's Office wanting to purchase a $25,000 pursuit car.Allen first said that was not part of the job description of the Marshall's office.Then the discussion got around to the Marshall spending $25,000.Hughley said he was an elected official and he could spend his budget without permission of the Council..THEN Hughley said if a pothole appeared and needed fixing he would contact Councilman Allen before it was fixed..Then Hughley said the whole discussion had gotten into the political issue about the Marshall's office purpose.He tried to deflect his thoughtless statements away from himself and back on Council...Then the Mayor said the State Attorney Gen.had made a statement that e-mail votes by a Council was an illegal closed meeting.Pop Barnes jumped on this quickly that the Council should have been made aware of this edict..THe Mayor and the City Manager both said they would have been notified when it became official..Barnes stated that they needed to know this even if it was not official. Then Hughley wanted to get into a discussion trying to cover his back on that one also...What is going on down there?..If Hughley tried those moves in the professional world plus his loss of a very large sum in collections he would be fired...Here are pats on the back for Allen and Barnes for not sitting back and taking it from Hughley.

The budget review committee decided Tuesday to keep money for not one Marshal's Office pursuit car, but two. If that doesn't get apartment freeloaders to run away from the complex, I don't know what will.

The budget review committee faced a question of paying for Marshal's Office pursuit cars or police body armor - and councilors decided to fund both. All public safety officers might find that body armor handy, if this means streets aren't paved with Local Option Sales Tax money.

A road trip along with other Tuesday activities left me little time to find the moments from the 24 May meeting where these incidents occurred. But I noticed Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson allowed a Marshal's deputy to response to Tollie Strode's cost analysis, even though he wasn't on the agenda. When Mayor Jim Wetherington pulled that trick, some people nearly considered it treasonous.

While Columbus Council meetings can be viewed online by anyone, there's a flaw in the format. People can't shuffle back and forth through hour-long clips, to track down specific items they want to review. It's like sitting through a 500-mile car race, waiting to see a crash on the final turn.

Let's finalize this entry with a glance at other Tuesday events....

+ Auburn Police reported a Wal-Mart store was evacuated and closed for several hours Sunday night, after two men tried to start a fire in one aisle. I suppose these guys are planning ahead - but there must be a better way to check the warmth of sleeping bags.

+ Bruce Lee presented his final forecast at WTVM. This means we can crown Derek Kinkade the winner and undisputed champion of Wynnton Road weather.

(I admittedly overlooked the news that veteran reporter Lindsey Connell left WTVM last week. If I heard correctly, she's moving to Kansas. I knew there was something I liked about her....)

+ Columbus spanked Spalding 19-9 in six innings, to win the Georgia AAA high school baseball title. That's two in a row, and 11 in the last 30 years - but it's too bad Columbus Council still hasn't found money to post signs at the city limits for Carver's state football title.

+ Golden Park was unavailable for the AAA high school final round, because it's hosting the National Club Baseball Association World Series. Florida State remained alive by topping Texas Tech 6-5. But should F.S.U. win today - and risk not having players available to pinch-hit during its NCAA regional Thursday?

(The NCBA tournament must be a bigger deal than I thought. TIC Federal Credit Union never sets up an automated teller next to the ticket window at college football games.)

+ The National Hockey League confirmed the Atlanta Thrashers will move to Winnipeg, Manitoba for next season. I attended the first-ever Thrashers game -- a preseason win over Nashville at the Columbus Civic Center in September 1999. For the Georgia state bird to fly north for the winter makes absolutely no sense.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

31 MAY 11: Cruising for a Bruising

The Saturday night run was a heat-filled workout, but with a great payoff - as I made it three miles non-stop on the Riverwalk! Hopefully my sweaty body didn't ruin the romantic mood for several couples I passed. Who knows - maybe I made things steamier.

I picked up dinner on Buena Vista Road after the run. Saturday night freight trains east of downtown led me to drive home down Tenth Street - and at a traffic light, the driver of a car to my right motioned for me to roll down my window. It was a busy Saturday night on a holiday weekend, but the purple-shirted "ambassadors" were NOT out giving directions.

BLOGGER BEGGAR #5: I rolled down the passenger side window a bit - and then came the surprise. "Do you want to date?" a woman asked me. A second woman was with her in the car. Even in 2011, some old-fashioned "values" about romance remain in Columbus.

This question was the last thing I expected. "Want to date?!" I asked.

"Are you a cop?" If that's the second question, I don't think the woman was expecting to share a sandwich at Momma Goldberg's Deli.

I tried to point out my humble Honda was not a police car. And in the process, I tried to turn on my emergency lights to show I was stopped - except in the shock of the moment, I turned on the rear-window defroster.

"Do you have money?" the woman in the other car asked next. That's one problem with modern-day downtown Columbus - the 12^th Street Library isn't around anymore for reading books.

"You're looking for a date with someone you've never met?" I asked in further disbelief. Whatever happened to old-fashioned matchmaking? Dating sites like Match.com certainly don't require burning gasoline costing more than three dollars a gallon.

"Find a place to park. I'm following you," the woman said. I was six blocks from home, and suddenly was leading someone against my will. At least NASCAR drafting partners tend to be on the same team these days.

But downtown Columbus was a very busy place at 10:00 on a Saturday night. I realized I couldn't park legally on First Avenue from where I was, so I kept driving down Tenth Street - only there were no parking spots at all, much less two of them. I never face this dilemma at other times downtown. But of course, that's when banks are open instead of nightclubs.

I was forced to turn left at Front Avenue, and found one spot next to Dillingham Street. I pulled over at the triangle in front of that spot, so the women in the other car could back into the legal spot. Instead, they stopped to my left for further discussion. Excuse me for forgetting females tend to be more verbal.

"Do you want to date?" the question came again from the other car.

"I'm just trying to go home and eat dinner," I admitted. "But you need to go on a date right now." If they would simply ask for directions to Scruffy Murphy's, we could settle this.

"Do you have money?" the woman asked again. While I didn't answer that, I had less than two dollars in change from Burger King. I also had a credit card, but somehow I didn't think they would count that.

"Park in that lot over there. We're following you." The woman pointed to a lot between the Convention and Visitors Bureau office and the Front Avenue parking deck.

"No, YOU lead," I demanded. "You're leading this whole thing." Sadie Hawkins Day in the comic strips never was done on four wheels....

The women turned around their car at Ninth and Front to enter the open parking lot. While that lot was full as well, I was thankful at least it was in the open. If something strange happened to me, there could be plenty of witnesses - quick to point out my bright orange running shorts.

I found a parking place near the garage, while the women parked two rows away. I got out of the car, and simply stood by the trunk -- intent on having these women come to me, if they're really that desperate for a date.

But the woman refused to get out of their car, and motioned me toward theirs. Finally I walked over and tried to end all doubt about what was happening.

"I'm going to put this in language we all can understand. Are you two prostitutes? Yes or no?" I spoke in a loud voice, to make sure strangers could hear me - and if the strangers happened to carry badges, so much the better.

"Yes or no??" I asked again. The women said nothing -- not even invoking their fifth amendment right against self-incrimination.

"Because if you are, I don't want to have anything to do with you," I added firmly. No one seemed to stop and watch this moment. Perhaps they thought I was the real weirdo.

Finally the female driver answered: "Can we have the medicines you're using?" Medicines?! No - this was more like a "runner's high," mixed with high anxiety.

"I'm not using any medicines," I told the women. "What is this - something like the Mark Shelnutt case?" [3 Oct 10]

With that, the woman rolled up her car window, backed out of the parking space and went on her way. Can I get an attorney referral fee for that?

I walked back to my car, and drove home with my dinner down Front Avenue - making sure no one was following me as I did. A classic Bill Purvis sermon came to mind, about a Saturday night when he met prostitutes in downtown Columbus. Purvis wound up "left for dead." My choice was simpler and less bloody -- left.

This wasn't the first time women have tried to "pick me up" after dark. Another car tried it on a winter night in downtown Kansas City, when I was a college intern at a television station. I turned down that offer, too - and it's a good thing they didn't ask about money, because I didn't even have a credit card then.

But if you're wondering if prostitution is lurking in downtown Columbus, what happened to me over the weekend ought to provide the answer. And amazingly, the offer came right outside the Government Center. If Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson wants to start another task force, she can move from copper thefts to call-girl lifts.

So we seem to have rolling prostitutes on Tenth Street, in addition to "courtesy patrols" of Fort Benning soldiers on Broadway. If this is what downtown Columbus is becoming, I'm not sure I want to be part of it. Perhaps the "second shift" of visitors shows up around 10:00 p.m. -- as families go home, leaving the rowdy singles to themselves.

We received one e-mail involving downtown activities Monday, but I'm going to hold it until some reviewing can be done. In the meantime, let's check other (ahem) fun and games from the holiday weekend....

+ The Monday high temperature in Columbus broke another record, at 96 degrees F. WTVM counts seven days in May where the record high either has been tied or broken -- and jumping dogs must miss the Aflac Outdoor Games pool.

+ Scott Ressmeyer returned to Columbus from his three-week cross-country fund-raising trip for the Children Miracle's Network. It was billed as "Scott's Ride for Miracles" -- but WLTZ called his motorcycle posse "The Freedom Riders." Maybe freedom from sickness, but not from expenses....

+ WURY-FM returned to the air, after being silent for more than a week. The Seventh-Day Adventist station was down during Harold Camping's "Judgment Day" - which makes you wonder if Uchee Pines Institute was waiting for law officers to show up, and see if the staff had been raptured.

+ Columbus and Spalding split a doubleheader, to send the Georgia AAA high school baseball finals to a decisive third game today. The scores were 18-1 and 12-2 -- so fans shielding themselves from the sun provided the only "in-tents" moments of the day.

(The final-round doubleheader attracted a big crowd at Randy Jordan Field - so big that WDAK's Scott Miller found some people trying to sit inside the ballpark, against the centerfield fence. Who are these people, unemployed basketball photographers?)

+ The Columbus Lady Wings won their first women's basketball game -- except they won because the opponents from South Carolina forfeited and never came to town. Either the Wings are that good, or this semi-pro league is that bad.

+ Callaway Gardens hosted the annual Masters Water Ski Tournament. Jimmy Siemers and Whitney McClintock won the titles in "men's tricks" and "women's tricks" - which is strange, because I've been told all these years that tricks are for kids.

+ Instant Message to Skipper's Seafood on Buena Vista Road: Which one is it? One side of your sign offers a "blue crab boil" on Friday nights. The other side offers a "blue CARB boil." Would I need to enroll in Weight Watchers, to know which color of carbohydrate is better for me?

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.