17 JAN 09: Up With People

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

"I have my Social Security card, my n****r. In my pocket, my n****r. Right here, my n****r." Those were the words a man said one evening this past week, less than two blocks from the Government Center. Before you jump to conclusions -- it was on the opposite side from the Columbus NAACP office.

The young African-American man was talking loudly and firmly on a cell phone -- and yes, he was using the racial slur you probably guessed he was using. But who would he be calling "MY n****r?" Had I stumbled onto a rap star, who was negotiating with his agent about a concert?

In a moment, the answer to my question became obvious. "I'm sick of you calling it YOUR f**king child! It's MY f**king child! It's OUR f**king child!" This may have also explained why the young man was standing on the lawn outside an attorney's office....

It pained me to hear the young man talk in this sort of language. Hopefully you would be pained by it as well - but I realize many people don't really care. Even if their emotions aren't overflowing, their mouths can remind you of those sludge spills on the Tennessee River.

Some words are known to everyone as "dirty" expletives. But sometimes, people declare words or phrases offensive which you might not expect. I was reminded this week of a phrase which put H. Ross Perot in trouble when he ran for President. It was the "Y.P." phrase - and no, I don't mean the Yellow Pages.

Remember when H. Ross Perot spoke to an African-American group, and used the phrase "you people" several times in his speech? Civil rights leader Al Sharpton called the phrase offensive, and years later caught Don Imus saying it as well. Calling him "you" is one thing - but adding "people" apparently went too far.

I was reminded of this objection in an unexpected way - during a daily Bible study. The New International Version has the phrase "you people" 15 different times. Perhaps Sharpton insists on using the King James Version, where the phrase doesn't appear at all....

Amazingly, the NIV puts the phrase "you people" in Jesus's mouth twice. In John 4, Jesus scolds people in general for not believing in Him without seeing "miraculous signs and wonders." Yet many people are stopping their praise for what happened in the Hudson River at the U.S. Airways pilot.

The other time Jesus says "you people" is in John 3. He scolds critical Pharisees there, for not accepting His testimony. They apparently believed Jesus's words about as much as people today believed Circuit City could stay in business.

Don't get the wrong idea - I do NOT rush out and use the "Y.P." phrase on people. We should be sensitive to the words and actions that offend others. But we also should avoid becoming oversensitive ourselves. A King James verse in Psalm 119 says about people who love God's law, "nothing shall offend them." But somehow, that apparently means they still can march against abortion.

Before I forget: are YOU among the "you people" Jesus mentioned? Do you need to see some amazing signs, before you'll believe what He says? If you stop to look, the signs are all around us. From a newborn baby to flowers and vegetables growing in the garden - and even how the sun can warm you outside, in the middle of a January cold wave.

-> Before you overdo it this weekend, maybe you should check our other blog. Consider thoughts on poker and moderation at "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message was sent from overseas to a Columbus church school class, and a reader passed it along to us:

Good morning everyone,

I wanted to just take a minute out to say hello to everyone back there in Solid Rock and say Happy New Year. I want to thank each and everyone of you for the prayers you sent up to the Lord for all us over here in Iraq. I tell my wife all the time to tell you all hello for me from over here in Iraq. The times over here are changing for the better. I look forward to coming back home and getting back to studying the word with each and everyone one of you back there. We have church here and it is very powerful to see the people who are from here go out and teach about Jesus when this side of the world was considered to be all Muslim. Jesus is alive and well with us all over here. Until the next time I pray that everyone is in great spirits and I will talk with you later. Also my email address here is floyd.robinson@iraq.centcom.mil.

P.S. Tell Pastor Jay and the Family I said hello and I Love You all back there. Sorry it took me so long to write but will keep in touch with you all more.

Floyd Robinson Jr.

While Fort Benning's Third Brigade began 2009 at home, we shouldn't forget other local soldiers still serve in dangerous places. And in those places, simply teaching about Jesus can be dangerous. Many Muslims probably don't want to hear the Bible verses about Jesus coming back to "smite the nations" - and unlike Iran, He probably won't need a nuclear bomb to do it.

SCHEDULED SUNDAY: The town hall meeting that many in Columbus need to see....

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,194 (- 126, 9.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

16 JAN 09: Across the River, Over the Line

So whatever happened to the Phenix City NAACP, anyway? We found out Thursday the chapter IS still around. But its president may be a bit annoyed right now, because a potential high-profile member went next door for help -- and it couldn't possibly be because Columbus has a lower sales tax.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: The President of the Phenix City NAACP chapter says Columbus President Bill Madison was "completely out of order" in addressing the Russell County Commission Wednesday. Wow - a civil rights leader that many white people in Columbus actually might like....

In fact, Alphonso Johnson told your blog Thursday he doesn't see what the fuss over a Ford Expedition owned by Russell County was all about. He claims there's NO discrimination in the rules for commissioners driving it -- to which Ronnie Reed probably would say Johnson lacks a "Ford focus."

"You have a white commissioner not using it, a black commissioner not using it...." Alphonso Johnson said of the county-owned Expedition. It sounds like equal opportunity ignorance to him.

Alphonso Johnson says if the Phenix City NAACP needs help from Bill Madison with civil rights issues, "I can call him." But Ronnie Reed ran to Madison on his own, and never contacted Johnson about the Ford fuss. Maybe it's a matter of "star power" - since Madison has made so many TV appearances in recent years.

Alphonso Johnson said he knew Bill Madison planned to address the Russell County Commission this week -- but he learned about it from "reading the newspaper." Perhaps we should blame the Columbus NAACP staff for that. It's been so busy promoting the February banquet....

So why did Ronnie Reed run to Bill Madison, over the use of that Ford Expedition? Alphonso Johnson gave me a simple answer -- Reed is a member of the Columbus NAACP, but NOT the Phenix City chapter. It's almost enough to make you wonder if any of last year's absentee voters came from Columbus as well.

Alphonso Johnson told me he's NOT angry with Ronnie Reed. But he admits he doesn't quite understand why a Russell County Commissioner would ignore his home NAACP chapter, and ask for help from across the river. Why, it's almost as wrong as Auburn University signing Columbus football players....

Perhaps it's because Bill Madison agreed with Ronnie Reed's point of view. But perhaps it's because Madison takes a different approach than Alphonso Johnson does. The Phenix City NAACP President admitted he tries to work for change behind the scenes, "not to get my name in the newspaper or the headlines." Madison tends to oppose cameras only when they're used in police surveillance.

So what about that "compliance issue" we found online about the Phenix City NAACP branch? Alphonso Johnson explained for awhile, the chapter fell below the minimum 50 members. He says it's now back up to about 75. Maybe if the chapter gave away more sets of Barack Obama commemorative plates....

Oh yes, that reminds me - Alphonso Johnson says the Phenix City NAACP will have its own membership banquet. It will be 27 February, and a member of the Alabama Senate will be the guest speaker. I suppose Bill Madison can buy a ticket and attend. But would he be satisfied simply with standing up, to be acknowledged with applause?

-> Did we have a hot time on a cold night at Thursday's poker tournament? Check what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to Columbus, and a local attorney/activist we've mentioned here several times in the last week....

Dear Richard,

I have attached in PDF format a series of documents representing the latest in my ongoing effort on behalf of Ms. Ethalyn Kirby to see her Ethics Complaint against Senator Harbison move to a final hearing.

I offered remarks to the State Ethics Commission for their December 2008 meeting regarding how long it was taking to move forward on the Complaint.

By way of reply, I received a letter dated December 10, 2008 from the Attorney General's office that responded in part to my concerns. You will next see my letter of December 16 (which I had to resend in January, hence the cover letter you see before the December 16 letter begins) responding to the December 10, 2008 letter.

Finally there is a sheet containing both the AG's office most recent e-mail to me and my last reply today.

I thought you might find them of some interest.

On another matter, I read your 12 January and 13 January 2009 blog entries that discussed in part the ongoing litigation regarding the land around the library. I want to just clear up a couple of things that I think the news coverage left a bit confused.

#1--The appeal is about whether or not taxpayers must first prove their case before being allowed to file a lawsuit. This would be much like requiring a District Attorney to have enough evidence for a conviction before filing criminal charges against someone. Oftentimes it is necessary to access legal tools for gathering evidence, often referred to as discovery, to prove the allegations of a civil case. The decision rendered in this case has the potential to affect taxpayer litigation all over the State of Georgia. The position taken by the City and the School Board would make it impossible for taxpayers to bring a lawsuit when they suspect, but cannot yet prove, that either entity is misappropriating funds.

#2--The idea that there is some great profusion of greenspace around the Library is absurd. As I think I mentioned in an earlier e-mail to you, there has been some minor landscaping around the front parking lot and yes I too have heard of the "children's plaza". To be clear, the children's plaza will occupy about 0.5 acres behind the Library. That will leave about 20 acres of cracked asphalt, broken fencing and associated debris on the remaining undeveloped site.

#3--Even after going on a spending spree upon discovery of the $6.1 million remaining in 1999 SPLOST funds, there is still over $1 million remaining unspent that could be used to grind up the asphalt, stabilize the soil and lay sod on the undeveloped portion of the property.

As always thank you for your blog, it is a real service to the citizens of Columbus and the Chattahoochee Valley.

Regards,

Josh McKoon

Mr. McKoon wonders in the documents when the Georgia Ethics Commission will hold a hearing on alleged campaign violations by State Senator Ed Harbison. But he's apparently had trouble communicating with the Attorney General's office, which handles ethics cases. This may be the clearest sign yet that Thurbert Baker still is a Democrat.

Josh McKoon claims he tried to contact the Georgia Attorney General's office more than a dozen times about the Ed Harbison ethics case. But a December reply from a Senior Assistant Attorney General said his office had NO "record of any such contacts." Do Georgia state e-mail addresses have "spam" folders?

As for the Education Park Coalition's legal case -- uh-oh, Josh McKoon is asking for it. If he can't find out vital information about the city without "discovery" motions, our readers will conclude he's as sloppy an investigator as I am with school principals.

So the greenspace issue around the Columbus Public Library may now be down to 20 acres of land. Some community groups would fix the fences, put up basketball goals and declare that asphalt a new playground.

Another reader is concerned about Georgia meeting its budget needs:

Money has to come from somewhere. The states and cities are going broke. The left and the right disagree as to the reasons, but that doesn't matter, when there really is no money. They are thinking of another tax on cigarettes. Funny, I remember when this cigarette thing got really serious; they said the new taxes were to go on helping citizens quit. Back then, I could buy nicotine gum for 1.89. Now the nicotine gum is behind the counter, along with all the other anti-nicotine and stop smoking gadgets. I sure can't afford them. They went up a lot from 1.89. What happened to the promise of using that tax money to help citizens stop smoking? Well, in Columbus, people will just buy their cigarettes in AL. So much for that. Columbus has always had a love/hate relationship with strip joints. These so-called poor girls, who have to make a living too, are now going to have to pay to strip. Does this say anything about the quality of men here in this town? I think so. This area has never been known for its great treatment of women. Cigarettes and strippers; what a shame. What happened to alcohol? I guess the powers that be have some sort of relationship with the alcohol folks. No new taxes being talked of for them. This can be one crazy city and even one crazy state. What really got me, was the talk of closing down the parks. Those parks bring in a lot of money. I have never understood the psychological impact they were trying to put on the citizens with this one. G*e, we are so poor, we can't afford to keep open money making parks. I don't think they closed them, but they had it on the news that they were going to. Well, all the congress got an automatic raise on New Years Day. It was made automatic a few years ago to save them the embarrassment of having to 'vote' on it. I don't think they are really worried about too much. Everything is going pretty well in their little corner of the world. The rest of us can 'eat cake'.

Ellen Horn

Columbus residents indeed might drive to Phenix City to buy cigarettes, if tobacco taxes go up. In fact, they might make it an all-around Sunday drive - and buy the six-packs of beer which are off-limits then as well.

As I understand the proposed Georgia "pole tax," the strippers wouldn't be paying the tax. The customers would pay an extra fee at the door. If you're going to call it The Gold Lounge, your admission price ought to reflect it.

A state park near Columbus actually was closed for two days this week - but for a different reason. F.D.R. State Park was open only to deer hunters. I haven't heard whether animal rights groups posted signs, trying to direct the deer to safety at Callaway Gardens.

We're still holding one e-mail until we can confirm it. So we'll move on to the Thursday news headlines:

+ Forecasters warned Columbus's overnight temperature would drop below 20 degrees F., for the first time in several years. You know it's cold when the high school cheerleaders wear jackets during games - and they're indoors at basketball games.

+ WRBL reported Russell County will move some of its offices to the new Government Center on Broad Street in the week of President's Day. That's exactly what Phenix City drivers need - Streetscape construction that's even more crowded than normal.

+ CBS announced the principal of Drake Middle School in Auburn is a contestant on the spring season of "Survivor." Not every Auburn resident could endure something like this. Tommy Tuberville might resign, before he's voted off the island.

(Did you see the "Survivor" video of middle school principal Debra Beebe wearing a tanktop? At some schools in Columbus and Troup County, that sort of video might come close to grounds for an arrest.)

+ Atlanta baseball player Jeff Francoeur spoke at a Columbus fundraiser for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I'm not sure why they did this as a rally at Columbus State University's Lumpkin Center. Wouldn't a cookout with "franks" have been more appropriate?

+ The Georgia Legislature held its annual "Sportsmen's Day." Someday I'll understand why they never have this event on the same day as Agriculture Commissioner Tommy Irvin's Wild Hog Supper.

+ Instant Message to the survivors of that plane crash in New York: I'm thankful you're all alive and relatively well. And I recall an older woman telling me how she used to ice-skate on the Hudson River during the winter. It's hard to believe, but global warming may have saved you all.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Is the "Y.P." OK?....

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,320 (+ 32, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

15 JAN 09: Have You Driven a Ford Lately?

"Now you know when the NAACP comes in the house, it causes tension." That's what Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison said during Wednesday's Russell County Commission meeting. That's the way to sell tickets to his group's February banquet....

Bill Madison showed up at the request of Russell County Commissioner Ronnie Reed, but NOT to sell banquet tickets. He called for a compromise on the use of a county-owned black Ford Expedition. Uh-oh, now I've done it! On Martin Luther King Junior's actual birthday, I've brought up skin color.

But wait - Ronnie Reed actually brought it up first. He told WRBL the rules for Russell County Commissioners using that Ford Expedition were "a racial issue." And that's why Bill Madison showed up. In this case, the "advancement" in his group's name involved driving a gas-guzzling SUV.

The issue actually involved when Russell County Commissioners can use the Expedition. Ronnie Reed said he and other commissioners should be allowed to use it for travel around their districts -- especially large rural districts. So they'd drive from their homes to downtown Phenix City, then drive the Expedition back to their districts?! How quickly we forget four-dollar gasoline....

But fellow commissioner Tillman Pugh argued the Ford Expedition should be reserved for travel outside Russell County. I assume this means important meetings in Birmingham and Montgomery - as well as the occasional (ahem) "recruiting trips" every fall to Auburn.

Ronnie Reed contended African-American commissioners need to use the Ford Expedition inside their districts, because those areas have plenty of dirt roads. Tillman Pugh suggested using personal vehicles, then billing Russell County for expenses. If someone submitted a $1,000 bill for new shock absorbers, that might warrant an investigation.

If Commissioners Cattie Epps or Larry Screws raised a fuss about the Ford Expedition, I could understand it. But have you checked the map of Russell County Commission districts? Ronnie Reed's District 4 consists of urban Phenix City. I know from recent experience that South Seale Road does NOT have that many potholes.

On top of that, where is the complaint from District 6 Commissioner Mervin Dudley? His district includes a wide area from Seale to Crawford. Do Dudley's fellow Euro-American commissioners quietly pay his expenses? Or did some used car dealer along U.S. 80 sell him an SUV already?

A final vote on the Ford Expedition came at Wednesday's meeting. Four commissioners voted to limit the Ford Expedition to travel outside Russell County. Two voted to allow it for activities inside the district. And one commissioner abstained - perhaps in hopes the "compromise" would involve adding a Toyota to the fleet.

(We'd give you more details on the commission meeting, but the Russell County government hasn't posted minutes of meetings online since October 2006. In fact, there isn't even a picture of the current commission there - as if members also are quarreling about which photographer to use.)

Ronnie Reed ended the meeting still calling it a racial issue. Tillman Pugh insisted it's an economic issue -- and a small matter that's been blown out of proportion. Pugh stopped short of calling it a "fishing Expedition."

But this debate leaves a couple of lingering questions about local NAACP chapters. Why was Bill Madison in Columbus called by Russell County Commissioner Ronnie Reed? Apparently it's because the Phenix City-Russell County chapter has been under some kind of "compliance issue" for more than a year. Even civil rights groups have to obey an authority once in a while.

Then there's the additional comment Bill Madison made before the Russell County Commission. After explaining how the NAACP tends to bring tension, he said: "When you don't have tension, you don't have change." So apparently you can keep New Year's resolutions only if someone nags you over and over about them.

We have to hold a Wednesday e-mail until another day, while we make some calls about it. So let's check other news from the day:

+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce held its annual meeting. President Mike Gaymon predicted our area will come out of recession within six months, and do it faster than the rest of Georgia. So go out there and buy some Kias, to move the whole process in West Point along.

+ Legacy Chevrolet owner Emanuel Jones admitted to WRBL he's asked the incoming Obama administration to provide "bailout" money to minority car dealers. Now hold on here! You spend an estimated $25 million to buy a bankrupt Columbus car dealer, and now you need federal help? It's almost enough to make me attempt a buyout of Golden Donuts.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue presented his "State of the State" address. He proposed awarding "merit pay" to teachers whose instruction helps students learn more - one day after saying teacher pay raises would have to be frozen. That's the way to increase the CRCT pressure on students....

+ Vanderbilt was victorious over Georgia in men's college basketball. But the final score was only 50-40 - which apparently shows the Arctic cold wave already had reached Nashville.

+ Instant Message to the unemployed architectural worker I heard at a Columbus church: You put it very well. When your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep becomes your downfall.

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

14 JAN 09: Half-Ounces of Prevention?

The numbers were surprising - but it was because they were so good. New F.B.I. data shows violent crime in Columbus was down 22 percent in the first half of 2008, compared with the first half of 2007. Yes, crime was DOWN -- even before the July 2008 vote on the one-percent sales tax. So do we win an extended tax holiday next summer?

Mayor Jim Wetherington fulfilled one promise of the "streets and safety" sales tax vote Tuesday, by announcing the members of a new Crime Prevention Commission. Some of the names actually were leaked in the last few days - so let's be thankful it's not a commission doing undercover investigations.

Mayor Wetherington named fellow loyal Democrat attorney Frank Myers the chair of the Crime Prevention Commission. Myers promised Columbus Council his group "will depend on the local law enforcement." So stop the rumors about those Fort Benning soldiers doing tests on Front Avenue....

But it was surprising to hear Frank Myers tell WRBL as far as he knew, "we don't much crime prevention going on right now.... We have the bare bones programs...." Snoop around the Columbus city web site, and you'll find five different programs in a "Crime Prevention Unit" - and Mayor Wetherington takes credit for starting all of them.

The Columbus Police Crime Prevention Division has its own phone number. Its programs range from the Neighborhood Watch program to the D.A.R.E. campaign against drug abuse. There's even one which was new to me - "Seniors and Lawmen Together," or SALT. A sure combination for increasing a criminal's blood pressure....

The new Crime Prevention Commission obviously is looking for other ideas. Frank Myers says its first meeting will be Friday, and all meetings will be open to the public. Anyone who shows up and tells the commissioners to get police off his back probably still will be subject to arrest.

The Crime Prevention Commission has members from a wide range of fields. There's Mike Gaymon from the Columbus Chamber of Commerce. There's Cathy Williams from the Muscogee County School Board. And there's former high school football coach Wallace Davis - who apparently will remind everyone that neighborhood busts are NOT a perfect form of prevention.

There's only one familiar name of a minister on the Crime Prevention Commission. That's a bit surprising, because a group of ministers withheld support of last year's one-percent sales tax until Mayor Wetherington promised to create the commission. But then again, maybe the ministers were confessing their all-night prayer meetings weren't quite working.

Perhaps we share the blame, because this blog has been lax in offering regular crime prevention tips. So let's offer one, directly from Wednesday's news -- check under your sofa regularly. If a Marshall Middle School teacher had done that, she might have found the $5,000 her accused cocaine-dealing boyfriend hid there.

But back to that surprising F.B.I. report: it's based on information from police departments nationwide, and it showed a large 29-percent drop in robbery in Columbus in early 2008. But burglary was up 20 percent in that time - so criminals simply had a better sense of timing.

Property crime in Columbus was up a modest three percent in the first half of 2008. But for some reason, the number of arsons nearly tripled -- and the next couple of days are supposed to be even colder than last winter.

The saddest statistic in the F.B.I. report is that the murder count jumped 60 percent in the first half of 2008, from 10 to 16. We compared Columbus with other cities, and our homicide count was double that of Honolulu - a city with four times as many residents. It's nice to see that "Hawaii Five-O" unit still going strong, after all these years.

BLOG UPDATE: Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer reported the Muscogee County School Board is asking for an exemption from state-ordered budget cuts. So to answer a Tuesday e-mail question, there's a step toward accommodating base realignment. It's a bailout from Atlanta, but without any real buckets.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, and goes in surprising directions from there. See what we mean at "On the Flop!" <--

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A man walked into the Columbus office, heard a few women talking, then made his big declaration.

"I just want to say I've never watched American Idol. I don't care about American Idol. And I want nothing to do with American Idol."

It was left to another man in the office to explain.

"They're talking about Ms. _____'s upcoming wedding."

"Well, I just wanted to get my two cents in."

Now let's see if other Tuesday news items were more valuable than that....

+ Peachtree Mall General Manager Chris McCoy told WXTX "News at Ten" the mall is 95-percent occupied, even though Eddie Bauer and the Hallmark store are about to close. Really?! I'd feel a lot more sure about that if the old Parisian store reopened, even as a dance studio.

(Chris McCoy said a couple of new stores will open at Peachtree Mall this spring. He wouldn't name names, but your blog has learned one of them will offer the "Hollywood Smiles" teeth whitening system. It likely will be placed strategically close to LensCrafters, to improve sales of sunglasses.)

+ Callaway Gardens announced it's offering free admission through February 28. At long last, an old Broadway play comes true -- butterflies are free.

+ Phenix City resident Kimberly Peavy claimed a $2.5 million Georgia Lottery prize. The Ledger-Enquirer reports she won all that money while playing her very first scratch-off game. I suggest Peavy invest a little of her jackpot in a private phone number - because jealous lottery players might want to take it out on her.

+ Various reports indicated Atlanta's baseball team will sign free agent pitcher Derek Lowe. Hey, I remember him - the Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher who cheated on his wife with a Fox Sports Net hottie a few years ago. Maybe Lowe's moving to Atlanta to become a co-star on cable TV's "Real Housewives."

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,252 (+ 52, 4.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

13 JAN 09: Green-No-Peace

While many government-watchers focused on one part of Atlanta Monday, a legal fight involving Columbus attorneys was going on a short distance away. And from what I saw on the Ledger-Enquirer's web site, Sheriff John Darr was in the wrong place to referee it. He was at the legislature, instead of the judicial building.

The Georgia Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the "greenspace case," pitting the Education Park Coalition against the city of Columbus. A decision may not be announced until June - which would make more sense, because then the greenspace around the central library actually will be green again.

In case you came in late: the Education Park Coalition wants 23 acres around the main library on Macon Road turned into a park. It sued the city to block the spending of sales tax money on other projects. But come to think of it, there's more greenery in front of the library than there is in front of the skateboard park.

Lower courts ruled the Education Park Coalition lacked the legal standing to sue the city, over its plans for greenspace. The Georgia Supreme Court heard an appeal of those decisions Monday. One more rejection, and the coalition may have to take its ball and - well, go to Lakebottom Park instead of the library.

The Education Park Coalition not only wants to sue the city of Columbus. It wants a jury trial over how six million dollars in sales tax money is spent. But where would this stop? Apply this idea to the "streets and safety" sales tax, and juries soon may be deciding which potholes get filled.

Josh McKoon argued the matter for the Education Park Coalition Monday. He told the evening news there needs to be a way for taxpayers to challenge improper government spending. This sounds to me like an admission that protest marches downtown simply aren't good enough.

But Jorge Vega argued for the city of Columbus that if the Education Park Coalition is successful, all sorts of taxpayers will file lawsuits over all kinds of city spending plans. Paul Olson may be too busy seeing attorneys to ever sell flowers again....

You may recall when Josh McKoon wrote this blog about the appeal two weeks ago, he referred to land behind the central library as a "moonscape" [30 Dec 08]. We're sad to report the Space Science Center has yet to seize on this announcement, and hold star-watching sessions there.

Yet Jorge Vega contended Monday improvements are underway, with the land around the library. There's landscaping going on, and a "storytelling plaza" is being built. It'll be perfect for Education Park Coalition members to read aloud from city campaign literature.

After Monday's oral arguments ended, do you think Josh McKoon walked over to the Georgia General Assembly's opening day? Did he go to Ed Harbison's office, and offer to help file campaign affidavits for a reasonable fee?

As the debate rages, blog readers will be thrilled to learn I've developed my own bit of "greenspace." It measures roughly two feet by one-and-a-half feet. And you can stuff all kinds of recyclable items in that blue bin....

-> Our other blog starts with poker, and goes in unusual directions from there. See what we mean at "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Monday's messages had a mix of greetings and legislative analysis. Let's start with this one....

Dear Richard;

Your insightful and hilarious blog keeps us laughing-year after year- thank you.

Did you hear AL Who on the Calvin Floyd, "Rise and Shine" show last week? He opposes the "Strip Joint Tax" on moral grounds---It is surely the first tax he has ever opposed, and as we all know, Al Who is the great moral thinker of our time- maybe we should listen to him. He said:

"Strippers have to make a living, too."

So true, and who would want to limit the strippers income?

Seth Harp is again harping on Sunday Alcohol sales---I wonder if you could ask him how many clients in the alcohol industry, nightclub business, strip joint business, he represents in his law practice.

The Secretary of State Corporations site indicates that Seth Harp is the agent of record for Al Who, Inc.

If Seth Harp does legislation for an industry which he represents and from which he receives income, is he participating in "Pay For Play" by sponsoring or voting on Sunday Alcohol Sales legislation and or other nightclub-alcohol sales industry related legislation?

No, I didn't hear Al Fleming -- but I'd like to know who declared him the "great moral thinker of our time." Did he enroll at Beacon Seminary, after selling his nightclub?

Now there's an early candidate for quote of the year - "Strippers have to make a living, too." Maybe with second jobs actually modeling fashions....

We didn't call State Senator Seth Harp on Monday's opening day of the Georgia General Assembly. For one thing, there seems to be a crackdown on phone calls this session. The House Speaker banned cell phone conversations during sessions, but did permit text messages. All those in favor, put your thumbs up.

But Seth Harp's campaign reports show during last fall's race, he received $1,000 from the Distilled Spirits Council - and another $500 from a council executive in New York. But to be fair, there's NO record that he spent campaign money for bartenders to serve at his victory party.

Here's one more combination message:

Glad to see Chuck Leonard back on the TV 9 news...

So,MCSD might end up with several million less from the state by 2010 and the date of the arrival of several thousand new military dependants is creeping up..I just wonder how they are going to hire more teachers and house these young people without more state and federal money.I wish you success Dr.Andrews. You have a hard fight in front of you..

There's one obvious option at the disposal of incoming Superintendent Susan Andrews. Remember the school sales tax which expired last September? She could try to put a new one on the Muscogee County ballot. The billboards which showed grim police officers last year would be replaced by billboards with sad children and Army wives.

Now let's send some Instant Messages....

+ To Columbus Urban League President Reginald Pugh: That HD camera on WLTZ doesn't hide anything. So why do you have three cans of insecticide near your office desk? Are you planning to start a training program in pest control?

+ To Tracy Rocker: Welcome back to Auburn University. I know you'll be coaching football players - but based on the ratings of retirement communities, you might want to live up to your last name and buy one for the front porch.

+ To Ricky Henderson: Congratulations on your election to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Now do you plan to live up to your major league reputation - and hold out for a bigger plaque?

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,200 (+ 46, 4.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

12 JAN 09: Ed Across the Aisle

If you don't read it carefully, it looks like simply another political list. Georgia Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle announced the State Senate committee chairs for the 2009 session, which begins today. Cagle's a Republican, most state senators are Republican again - so the list could be rated "R" for rerun.

But wait, one name on the Senate committee list doesn't seem to belong here. The chair of the Interstate Cooperation Committee is -- Ed Harbison?! The Columbus Ed Harbison?!? The man the Muscogee County Republican Chairman wants removed with a passion? Does this mean Josh McKoon already has endorsed John Oxendine for Governor?

Lieutenant Governor Cagle's list of Senate committee chairs expresses confidence in all of them. Didn't Josh McKoon tell him Ed Harbison hasn't filed a few required affidavits for his finance reports? Doesn't Cagle know an ethics complaint is pending? Doesn't he.... well, maybe Cagle already is writing off Muscogee County in 2010.

But maybe Casey Cagle noticed something else from Ed Harbison's 2008 campaign reports. The Democratic State Senator received a $2,300 donation during last year's primary fight from the "Committee to Elect Seth Harp." We noted that donation from Republican State Senator Seth Harp last summer [17 Jul 08]. Yet Harbison went ahead, and bought a ticket to the Democrats' "Jefferson Jackson Gala" anyway.

Maybe Casey Cagle noticed all the big-name corporate donors Ed Harbison's campaign has. His 2008 contributions included the political action committee for Wal-Mart and Publix. They included Aflac and CitiGroup. But maybe we shouldn't bring up that $500 donation in June from "W.T. Heard."

Perhaps the lieutenant governor decided a committee on "Interstate Cooperation" needed a chair who could cooperate inter-party. It couldn't possibly be a matter of Casey Cagle running out of Republicans to chair committees. He'd put people over two committees first, and schedule meetings on alternate days.

Republican State Senator Seth Harp has his own group to oversee. He'll direct the Higher Education Committee - which means he can promote his controversial idea of merging "historically black" state colleges with other ones nearby. But if Armstrong Atlantic State combines with Savannah State, won't some people think the "Armstrong" was a jazz singer years ago?

To be fair, we also checked Seth Harp's financial documents. His campaign already has given $5,900 to "Georgians for Cagle." For sone reason, Ed Harbison didn't have to do that to become a committee chair....

And oh yes: Seth Harp's campaign paid Josh McKoon $2,000 shortly before the November election for "yard sign installation." It's nice to see Republicans promoting job creation - at least among their children, earning minimum wage.

Amidst all these donations and expenditures, the Georgia General Assembly faces some serious financial issues this year. The state has a large budget deficit to fill. In fact, December revenues were down more than $145 million from the year before. You know things are bad when not even a Mega Millions jackpot will save the state.

Some members of the Georgia House say it's time to increase the state sales tax, to balance the budget. There's even talk of bringing back a state sales tax on groceries. As long as there's an exemption for items used in developing a vegetable garden....

Other Georgia lawmakers say the state could gain frozen federal transportation money, if it finally required adult pickup truck drivers to wear seat belts. Senator Jeff Chapman opposes this idea, saying adults "ought to be smart enough" to buckle up without a state law. I'm waiting for Chapman's bill to revoke all state laws concerning murder.

By the way, the Ledger-Enquirer promises to have three reporters in Atlanta for today's opening day of the Georgia General Assembly. Wow - this leaves only about three to cover events here in Columbus.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Did the former Muscogee County Sheriff miss the trend? We wondered Sunday -- but one reader says he actually was ahead of it....

Au contraire, Dear Richard! Former Sheriff Ralph Johnson put the employees of the Sheriff's Office under the City's Merit System when he first took office about 12 years ago! That may be why you haven't seen the wholesale firings people predicted from the new Sheriff.

Wholesale firings, no. But so far there aren't any wholesale resignations at the Muscogee County Jail, either. Maybe it's a matter of timing -- as the staff waits for those 100 new police officers to be trained.

Let's see what else made news on a dismal-looking Sunday:

+ Miss Georgia Chasity Hardman qualified for the top 15 at the Miss America pageant. Hardman knew she had advanced when she received a golden sash. Professional hockey could learn from this - and give the player with the most penalty minutes a golden slash.

+ Weddings of Georgia held its twice-a-year "extravaganza" at the Columbus Trade Center. A spokesperson for the show said the average wedding in Columbus costs $26,000. I knew churches were having trouble making their budgets, but these rental fees are getting ridiculous....

+ WRBL found a sports program to replace its Sunday night late news -- the "Auburn Basketball Review." But if women's coach Nell Fortner isn't there, isn't something missing? She has an undefeated, nationally-ranked team -- one that actually could fill that new arena.

+ Alabama lashed Louisiana State in men's play 65-59. But did you notice how many seats in Tuscaloosa were empty? If this keeps up, coach Mike Gottfried might threaten to move the franchise to Huntsville.

(Alabama's Ronald Steele had an embarrassing moment during the game, when he missed two free throws after a technical foul. Steele turned to the bench, and the broadcasters said he "blamed himself." Well, yeah - when you're at home and no one's standing near you in the foul lane, you can't exactly blame distracting cheerleaders.)

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,154 (- 48, 4.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 JAN 09: Mixed Martial Arts?

Did you see the sign posted on a tree, in Saturday's Ledger-Enquirer? A woman posted this warning in her yard: "THERE IS A ROBBER! IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD." Hopefully we haven't uncovered another Muscogee County kindergarten teacher....

Carole Whetstone explained to the newspaper she put up the sign after her apartment on 32^nd Street was robbed twice in two weeks. She claims she misspelled "their" on purpose, to "help draw attention" to the sign. At last -- an explanation for some of the misspelled "headlines" on TV news.

But Carole Whetstone admits she took the warning sign down on orders from Columbus city officials, after someone complained about it. Was it because she called attention to crime in her neighborhood? Or because it made everyone on the block look downright illiterate?

If it's wrong to display warning signs on your property in Columbus, Carole Whetstone is NOT the only offender. Drive down Weems Road east of Moon Road and you'll see this metal sign in front of a house: "The wicked shall be turned into...." uhhhh, well -- it does NOT say they'll be turned into city garbage collectors....

(That sign quotes from the Biblical book of Psalms. There's another Bible verse which could be even more effective in deterring crime. Philippians 3:2 actually says, "Beware of dogs.")

Signs such as these indicate the lengths people are taking in Columbus to fight crime. Yet the weekend news reported a new series of five burglaries. And I hope the people who decided against buying something at Saturday's "Starving Artists' Sale" locked their car doors.

Mayor Jim Wetherington assured reporters again Friday the 100 promised new police officers are on the way. He said 34 have been hired, and most of them will enter the police academy Monday. Hopefully they'll come out like the women of "Charlie's Angels," and not the guys in the "Police Academy" movies.

Some of the new police officers may be put in unusual locations. Richard Hyatt's web site reported Saturday a new police precinct is being placed inside a new CB&T branch on Buena Vista Road. Anyone attempting to rob this bank truly will be a dumb criminal.

But the crime-fighting effort in Columbus seems to be overshadowed in part by political maneuvering. One potential trouble spot was resolved Friday, when Deputy Joe McCrea declared he'll retire from the Sheriff's Department. He could have battled to save his job until March, and then seized on public support around St. Patrick's Day....

Former Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson apparently did NOT put his staff under the city merit system, the way the former District Attorney and Municipal Court Judge did. So new Sheriff John Darr is putting his own team in place - and seems to be shocking the old system, with something other than a Taser.

The story I'm hearing is that Deputy Joe McCrea had a letter of suspension from Sheriff John Darr, which was a step toward termination. McCrea reportedly was ready to go before Columbus Council and appeal for his job. But Darr denied he had any plan to fire McCrea - as if the "letter of suspension" was designed to make him wear belts.

WRBL reported Joe McCrea will retire from the Sheriff's Department at the end of January. Then he'll take a new position at St. Francis Hospital. Knowing how much McCrea loves ice hockey, the Cottonmouths may not return to the Medical Center pediatric ward for quite awhile.

Meanwhile, another sheriff's deputy received a promotion from Mayor Jim Wetherington. Brad Hicks has been named the new Director of Homeland Security - but Hicks described his job in terms of writing requests for government grants. Some of us hoped to see him inspecting rail cars, before they roll past the Government Center.

These two developments lead me to ask a question. Where are the mass resignations of jail employees, which an e-mail to this blog promised last fall? [7 Oct 08] Is Sheriff John Darr making all of them majors, the way he's reportedly "demoting" some deputies to that rank -- perhaps so everyone can feel equal?

Lest we point all our fingers at Columbus law enforcement, there's a curious case in Lee County. Two female prisoners were captured Saturday, after reportedly walking away from a work-release program at a Sonic Drive-In. Huh - you mean jail inmates are preparing people's dinners? No wonder you sometimes get extra bacon you don't want, instead of cheese you requested.

Really now - would you be less likely to go to a restaurant, if you knew a jail inmate was preparing your food? Or would you decide it didn't make any difference, as long as the inmates didn't pass along their usual dinner of hash and cornbread?

We'll lock up any more jokes along this line for now, and check other news of the weekend....

+ Port Columbus held a historical symposium for scholars on battleships. But the museum let me down and missed a great teachable moment, by not holding a tournament with children playing the "Battleship" board game.

+ Troy University announced all current vacancies will go unfilled through March, to save money. At the Phenix City campus, I think this means some great opportunities for Chattahoochee Valley Community College students to serve as interns.

+ Richard Hyatt's web site reported Susan-Elizabeth Littlefield is leaving WRBL, to work at a TV station in Columbia, South Carolina. This is a bit surprising, since Littlefield has relatives here. Hopefully she didn't make a big 2009 mistake - by saying the word "raise" around her boss.

+ The Georgia Office of Consumer Affairs revealed nine gas stations were found in violation of price gouging laws during Hurricane Ike. None of them were in the Columbus area - which may show convenience stores fare better when they work as a team.

+ Columbus native Rod Hood had an interception, as Arizona amazed Carolina 33-13 in the pro football playoffs. To use Fox score-box shorthand, Hood now stands guilty of CAR theft.

+ Atlanta-based Home Depot announced it will no longer sponsor U.S. Olympic athletes. The first effect will be on the 2010 winter games in Vancouver. The chances for our ski and bobsled teams may be going downhill - well, even more than usual.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: We get you ready for opening day....

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 JAN 09: Trouble in Our Middle-East

Sometimes your hunches are right, and sometimes your hunches are wrong. Spend enough time at a poker table, and you learn that. That's why I didn't make a prediction on Thursday night's college football championship game. I had a hunch Oklahoma might beat Florida. But then, I actually had a hunch the Detroit Lions would have a winning pro football season.

A reader's hunch about crime in one part of Columbus may be right after all. Today we have a surprising e-mail response to our Tuesday topic:

I just completed reading the article titled Shutdown at Sundown. I am the owner of Captain Toms Restaurant located on Macon Road. Our closing at 6pm does have something to do with the crime rate increasing in this particular area of town. Monday-Wednesday tend to be our slowest days, therefore, increasing the risk of a burglary against the restaurant, the employees and our patrons. The traffic on this end of Macon Road has almost ceased to exist. Since the North Mall development, the locally owned businesses on Macon Road have been forgotten. Our parking lots are densly lit, under populated and the empty stores within the shopping complex's; Who wants to venture out under those conditions? Not me!!! Crime is on the rise! With the unemployment rate rising daily, companies shutting down, corporations bankrupting, foreclosures and don't forget the individuals who just choose the life of crime leaves the honest, hardworking citizens of Columbus scared to go out at night. Cheryl Wills

In a way, this decision takes Columbus another step toward being like Florida. We've had a lot of warm days lately. And now you're rewarded for "early-bird dining."

Cheryl Wills's concerns led me to make a call Thursday to Teresa Tomlinson at Midtown Inc. But I quickly learned the section of Macon Road with Captain Tom's is outside her organization's boundaries. Midtown officially stops at Interstate 185. So which group claims Macon Road east of there - at least until Columbus State University buys it out?

(Midtown Inc.'s other boundaries are Tenth Avenue on the west, Talbotton/Warm Springs Road on the north and Martin Luther King Boulevard on the south. That may come as a surprise to business owners on Buena Vista Road, who keep hearing about nothing but improvements on Wynnton Road.)

But Teresa Tomlinson did offer thoughts on Cheryl Wills's concerns in general. "We have a crime problem in Columbus, period," Tomlinson told me. No, I do NOT think that's why the Cottonmouths began a 20-day road trip Thursday night....

Teresa Tomlinson does NOT think there's been a deliberate "targeting of crime in Midtown." That's comforting to know - even though some criminals are so dumb they might think Midtown has a Target.

Teresa Tomlinson pointed me to the Midtown Inc. web site, which has police charts comparing four prime Columbus shopping areas. Did you realize between January 2007 and June 2008, Columbus Park Crossing had three times as many robberies as Cross Country Plaza? Of course, skeptics might argue that's because Columbus Park Crossing has many more stores to rob....

On top of that, Peachtree Mall had three times as many larceny cases as Cross Country Plaza between January 2007 and June 2008. Empty stores could be an issue at the mall as well, as radio ads Thursday announced the Hallmark card store is closing. At least you can buy sympathy cards for Goody's employees at cut-rate prices.

On the other hand, Cross Country Plaza had five times more burglaries than the other shopping areas in that 18-month period. Teresa Tomlinson blames that on a burglary ring which police may have busted recently. Any other rings at Cross Country Plaza were moved to The Landings by V.V. Vick.

I didn't realize until Thursday that Teresa Tomlinson and her husband own the Butler's Pantry restaurants. Tomlinson told me they have NOT adjusted their closing times, because of any crime problems. I only discovered during a check online after the phone call that those restaurants have been closing at 6:00 p.m. all along.

Since I had Teresa Tomlinson on the phone, I asked her about one other pesky Midtown issue. What IS the deal with that unopened CVS pharmacy on Macon Road? Imagine my surprise to learn she doesn't really know the answer, either....

The CVS pharmacy appeared ready to open in September. Then it posted an opening date of sometime in January. Teresa Tomlinson guessed the company didn't want to move away from Cross Country Plaza during the holiday season. Wow - even businesses are looking for January discount sales, only here from moving companies.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Another e-mail in recent days has directed us to a photo collection in Savannah. The pictures were taken by someone with a very similar name to mine -- except he has an extra H, and a T on the end. My last name is much less cluttered than that....

It appears the Richard Burkhart in Savannah is on the staff of the daily newspaper. That would explain the variety of pictures in his "Favorites 2008" gallery. But the "Spotted" section also uses volunteer photographers -- who probably get paid as much for their pictures as I do.

This is an example of why you should beware of imitations. If a blogger spells his last name with extra letters, it could be a scam. But please let me know first, so I can beat Zaneta Lowe to the story.

We also caution you not to confuse this blog with the Dr. Richard Burkard, who teaches college-level Spanish in Pennsylvania. He also appears to dabble in writing religious articles - but he's probably under the collegiate pressure to "publish or perish." If I fail to post here some days, it could be due to a late-night poker windfall.

Now for some things which appeared downright truthful Thursday....

+ Phenix City Elementary School held a "Virtual PTA" meeting, with several groups connected online by web cameras. There are several advantages to this approach. For instance, mothers only have to bake one-fourth as many cookies for the snack table.

+ A 100-year-old home in Smiths Station was moved across a street, so a new high school can be built. If they call the school Smiths Station South, law officers will have an easy way to test whether students are drunk or sober.

+ The Associated Press reported Alabama Treasurer Kay Ivey is taking steps toward running for governor. She's hired a pollster. She's renting office space. And she'll probably be flying to the Northeast, to seek "Ivey League" donations.

+ The Carmike 15 cinemas showed the Bowl Championship Series title game in 3-D. Those showoffs - moving beyond the "Big Switch" to the big change in eyeglasses.

(I didn't know about this special 3-D showing until the Florida-Oklahoma game was in the fourth quarter. It turns out Tim Tebow wasn't the only person with a "triple option.")

+ Several reports indicated Atlanta pitching legend John Smoltz will sign a one-year contract with the Boston Red Sox. I know Smoltz didn't pitch when the Atlanta franchise was in Boston, but sometimes it seems that way....

+ Talladega Superspeedway announced it will cut the prices of some tickets in half for this year's races. As long as the beer cans are the usual 12 ounces, most NASCAR fans won't really care.

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,275 (+ 48, 3.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 JAN 09: The Death of the Blues

It's probably not a joking matter for a lot of people. But the U.S. recession is becoming SO DEEP that President-elect Obama may promote his economic stimulus plan at the edge of the Grand Canyon.

Wednesday brought more confirmation of tough times in our area. WRBL confirmed what I thought I'd noticed in Phenix City last weekend - Broad Street Blues is closed, with the building up for sale. You know things are bad when people have the financial blues, but a blues club can't afford to stay open and sing about them.

The manager of Broad Street Blues didn't blame his problems completely on the recession. He claimed business was hurt by the Phenix City Streetscape project. He's not alone in that view. Streetscape probably hurt any chance of Jeff Hardin running for a second term as mayor.

We noted three years ago that competing blues clubs might be opening on either side of the Chattahoochee River [6 Sep 06]. Backyard Blues on First Avenue in Columbus only seemed to open for special events. There's nothing to mark it anymore - except when the building owners show up for maintenance, and their dog chases joggers like me across the street.

The latest estimate from Phenix City officials is that Streetscape should be finished by April. That means it will be at least seven months behind schedule, so Broad Street had better be impressive -- with a top-notch statue of Bubba Roberts in the median.

Should we also blame Streetscape for a closing several blocks away, and off Broad Street? Tedi's Coffee and SweeTreats on 13^th Street has closed as well. A coffee shop at the west end of the 13^th Street bridge ought to be in a prime location. Yet I get the feeling the Family Dollar store across the street is closer to Phenix City budgets.

We stopped at Tedi's once last year, and were stunned to find one lemon muffin sold for three dollars [15 May 08]. By comparison, the new Dunkin Donuts shop in downtown Columbus looks downright cheap at two doughnuts for $1.80.

To be fair, Tedi's may have shown up in downtown Phenix City too soon. A coffee shop on 13^th Street might do well, once Troy University builds its new building and The Phenixian condominium building opens. Unless, of course, the Piggly Wiggly store starts offering free coffee and chocolate chip cookies at the entrance.

The business closing announcement which made national news Wednesday involved a store on Bradley Park Drive. Goody's department stores are going into liquidation -- and it should go without saying that for employees, this is a Baddy.

I found some, uh, good sale prices on men's clothing at Goody's. But it's shared a shopping center with Target, which had to pose a challenge. The clothing prices may be lower, but Market Pantry chocolate chip cookies simply are too good.

But not all the economic news was bad Wednesday. Valley Hospitality began a two-day job fair, to fill positions at the soon-to-open Doubletree Hotel. The line of job-seekers at the Trade Center reportedly stretched out the door - and some people were surprised when Mayor Wetherington did NOT show up with applications to be a police officer.

And what do you know - chocolate chip cookies are an issue here as well. You may have seen the billboard along I-185 promoting Doubletree's complimentary cookies for guests. I enjoyed one once, at a hotel near the San Francisco airport. But I was disappointed when they weren't on the counter at the breakfast bar.

We hope your finances are in good shape, as we check other Wednesday news:

+ Tickets went on sale for this year's "St. Jude Dream Home." This home shows how our economy could be much worse. It's NOT being built in March by college students, in a Habitat for Humanity work project.

+ The Columbus State men's basketball team picked up a much-needed win, by beating nationally-ranked Clayton State 61-57. Clayton State still calls its sports teams the Lakers - which tells me the little lake on campus has water pumped into it, even during drought.

+ Two Georgia football stars announced they'll enter the N.F.L. draft. Quarterback Matthew Stafford is a junior, and could be the top draft pick. But running back Knowshon Moreno is a sophomore - and probably will face a training camp with teammates calling him Know-little.

+ Instant Message to Rolling Impressions: I think I've figured this out. Your drivers are barred from going more than 30 miles per hour, because then the ads on your trucks become a blur. But when I'm stuck behind you for blocks on Veterans Parkway, I still don't think that helps your cause.

SONG OF THE DAY: Wednesday's special event in Washington was a meeting of one current President, three former Presidents and one President-elect. We decided it was worth writing a special song....

COMING FRIDAY: A Midtown business owner sets the record straight....

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,227 (+ 55, 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 JAN 09: The Big House

Tuesday was a sensational January day in Columbus. The high temperature set a record, at 75 degrees F. It was so warm that I was incredibly tempted to start spring cleaning two months early.

It was a perfect day for an old-fashioned auction on the courthouse steps. And the Government Center held one on the Plaza Level, for foreclosed property - only one location stood out from the others. It probably was the only home with a million-dollar price tag. And it certainly was the only one whose owner is a famous name - which is the only way you can afford a million-dollar home around here.

The Muscogee County Marshal's Office auctioned off the Green Island Hills mansion once owned by Bill Heard. WRBL visited the location on Big Eddy Court, and showed a plaque on the gate with the mansion's name - "Espléndido." How could a car dealer who flew a giant U.S. flag have a home with a Portuguese name?

The foreclosure auction of the Bill Heard mansion was a front-page story in the Ledger-Enquirer. And it certainly had some of my co-workers talking. One guessed there would be plenty of interest because "the Bill Heard name as a legacy." Uhhhh - really that's in reverse.

Another co-worker thought it might be fun if a rap star bought the Bill Heard mansion. Considering the online listed price was 18 million dollars, I doubt 50 Cent would have been a serious bidder.

Yet when the late-morning auction of the Bill Heard mansion came, there was only one bidder. Only one -- after being mentioned on the front page of the newspaper? No wonder Internet advertising is booming....

The only bid for the big mansion on Big Eddy Court was made by Columbus Bank and Trust, at about $7.7 million. You can't beat those half-price specials in January, you know....

But perhaps we're making a big assumption here. Can CB&T afford to pay more than seven million dollars for a mansion? Parent company Synovus is setting aside around $800 million in reserves, to handle foreclosed homes in metro Atlanta. Maybe the displaced homeowners will move into the mansion, for a new reality TV show.

(Come to think of it, I should have put in a bid for this mansion. You know, a 500-dollar "low-ball" bid. If Synovus couldn't close the deal, I'd get the century's biggest steal.)

It's not clear at this point what CB&T plans to do with the seven-bedroom, nine-bath, five-acre property. Several ideas come to mind....

+ A private retreat for Synovus executives. That hand-crafted table from the bank board room would be perfect for Thanksgiving dinner.

+ Clear out some of the walls. In no time at all, you'd have a new northside sports arena for the Cottonmouths.

+ Do what several Columbus landlords would do. Convert it into a five-unit apartment building.

+ Quietly sell the mansion to a celebrity. Now Rod Hood has some incentive to lead the Arizona Cardinals to the Super Bowl.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, and goes in unusual directions from there. See what we mean at "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: So much for avoiding crime by using the restaurant drive-through lane. Opelika Police say someone walked up to a drive-through customer at a Taco Bell Monday night with a shotgun, and demanded the customer's wallet. This is why you should ask for extra packets of hot taco sauce, and keep them stashed in the glove compartment for squirting.

Now for other news from Tuesday, which was our sixth anniversary of blogging....

+ Former Phenix City Manager Bubba Roberts filed a claim with the city for more than $194,000. Roberts says he has that much coming for a "retaliatory discharge" by the city council. Is this the proper 2009 way to say "you're fired"?

(The Phenix City Council turned down Bubba Roberts's claim. That could open the door for Roberts to sue the city. The way it's worked out for Councilor Max Wilkes and City Clerk Charlotte Sierra, Phenix City could become the best bailout spot this side of the Potomac River.)

+ The evening news showed former Columbus Urban League President Ken Crooks, shopping for a digital television converter box. And you thought that organization had its "big switch" after Reginald Pugh took over....

+ WRBL reported Bi-City Transportation plans daily shuttle bus service between Columbus and the Kia plant in West Point. Is this really a good idea? People will have to hitch a ride, to get the rest of the way to the Atlanta airport.

+ Reports from Auburn indicated Ted Roof will be hired as the college football team's defensive coordinator. Roof had that job this past season at Minnesota. After watching my beloved Kansas score six touchdowns against Minnesota in the Insight Bowl, I think it's time to adjust some schedules for 2010.

+ Georgia blew an early lead in men's basketball, and lost to Georgia Tech 67-62. In the last seven weeks the Yellowjackets have beaten the Bulldogs in football, then both women's and men's basketball -- leaving Georgia fans as red with embarrassment as their outfits.

+ Instant Message to Childcare Network on Weems Road: I'm shocked - SHOCKED! I mean, that sign advertising "Two year old slots available." What sort of games are you teaching our children?! If I hear about any field trips to Victoryland....

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 JAN 09: Shutdown at Sundown?

The scene of the crime was open Monday night. I know, because I jogged by the back door and saw cars parked there. Oh yes, I should explain - this was NOT one of those Columbus gas stations where the price suddenly has jumped back above $1.60.

Lil Kim's Cove on Fourth Street appeared to have business as usual, two nights after someone was shot in the parking lot. But I suppose that's the nature of the bar and nightclub business. You don't let one bad apple spoil the fun, for the people who politely get drunk.

But are some Columbus restaurants becoming more fearful of crime? An e-mail we received Monday suggested it....

I have noticed that some businesses along Wynnton Rd/ Macon Rd have started to close at dark..Is that because crime has become such a threat? I had a hankering for BBQ at 6PM ,but Macon Rd BBQ was closing,so I crossed the road to Capt Tom's and they were closing. Mazzio's has closed completely,no more pizza buffet for lunch.

We weren't sure whether these restaurants would be open at all Monday. Many restaurants are closed on Mondays because it's usually the slowest day of the week for business. Sunday dining is "slow" only when you're with the family eating pot roast.

Macon Road Barbecue on Avalon Road told us.... hey, wait a minute! This is what annoys me about Columbus barbecue restaurants. They aren't where they claim to be. The "13^th Street Bar-Be-Que" has a Columbus location on Veterans Parkway, well north of Airport Thruway. And how many Country's restaurants really are out in the country?

But anyway: the man who answered the phone at Macon Road Barbecue confirmed the restaurant was closing at 6:00 Monday night. BUT he went on to say that only happens on Mondays. During the rest of the week, he said they're open until 8:00 -- so you can have red-hot sauce on a cold January evening after all.

The man at Macon Road Barbecue indicated Midtown crime is NOT the reason why the restaurant's hours are the way they are. I have no reason to think he's lying -- especially since he heard my voice over the phone, and decided I was "Pastor Taylor."

Over at Captain Tom's Country Buffet, the man who answered the phone said the 6:00 p.m. closing time occurs on Mondays through Wednesday. BUT other nights of the week are different -- including a Friday night closing time of 9:30. On a night when criminals tend to be more dangerous, the restaurant is right there with them.

I asked the man at Captain Tom's if crime was behind the three-night early closing. He said he didn't think that was the reason. Never underestimate the drawing power of "Jeopardy" at 7:00 p.m.

As for Mazzio's, that chain may be downsizing. The "Italian Eatery" web site (not simply pizza anymore) shows it's down to only one Georgia location. But if it's any consolation, there are two in Muskogee, Oklahoma.

To be fair, I've noticed for several years that other Midtown restaurants lock their doors early - not necessarily at sunset, but earlier than the time shown on the door. Chick-Fil-A tends to lock up on Saturday nights by 9:00, but keep the drive-through lane open later. That can reduce the risk of crime - but it also reduces every customer's fuel economy.

Now that we've cleared up some potential rumors, let's check other Monday meditations....

+ Our sympathies to the friends and family of Griffin Bell. Georgia Southwestern State University named a golf course in his honor last September, and a quail hunt in Americus bears his name as well. I never realized this former U.S. Attorney General was so into birdies.

+ A bill was pre-filed in the Georgia General Assembly to impose a state entry fee for nightclub customers. I can already hear the complaints now - that dancers' incomes will drop lower than their shorts.

(I had a great punch line for this idea, but the evening news beat me to it. They want to bring back a "pole tax" in the South.)

+ WRBL talked to a Macon County, Alabama man who's going to the Presidential inauguration. Willie Kirk is taking his donkey Irene to Washington - but he'd better be careful, or some smart-aleck Republicans will claim it's House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

(Irene the donkey traveled to Washington for both of President Bill Clinton's inaugurals. Then Republicans took control of the White House - and I suppose the donkey was put out to pasture.)

+ WXTX finally replaced The Tube on digital channel 54.2. It's now showing a 24-hour movie channel called "This TV." I noticed it while scanning the dial and said, "THIS is all I get?"

+ WRBL reported the Auburn water department is going to "multi-cycle billing." So which one will cost more - the wash cycle, rinse cycle or spin cycle?

+ Auburn University football coach Gene Chizik named Trooper Taylor as his wide receivers coach. After all those years guarding Tommy Tuberville on the sidelines, the big break finally comes....

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,130 (+ 53, 4.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 JAN 09: Grade B- Beef

This is the time of year when the pro football playoff games on TV had better be good. If they're not, there's not much else for sports fans to watch. Sunday's options included infomercials for Medicare drug plans, as well as exhibition figure skating. If the skating doesn't count, where's the drama of watching contestants fall down?

Thankfully NBC offered a nice alternative to Sunday's Baltimore-Miami rout -- Pro Bull Riding from Baltimore. Now THIS is a real sport. It's man versus animal, a fight for survival - and the best part is that Michael Vick probably would come out on the losing end, compared to what he did.

Pro Bull Riding comes to the Columbus Civic Center in a couple of weeks. So when the PBR telecast showed the schedule of upcoming events, I expected Columbus to be listed. But no - it was missing! Instead, they showed events 16-18 January in Fresno and Sacramento, California. They're admittedly more logical places for this sport, but really....

I quickly went online to the Pro Bull Riding web site to see what had happened. That's when the disappointment set in -- because I discovered Columbus is not on the "major league" tour. It turns out there are four separate bull riding tours. You know, like ground sirloin is different from ground beef....

Tallahassee somehow has a "Built Ford Tough Series" top-level bull riding event in February. Birmingham will have one in the middle of March. Yet Georgia has none at all this year - so why was Columbus overlooked? Is it because too many barbecue restaurants here serve pork, instead of beef?

Columbus is consigned to the "Enterprise Tour" of Pro Bull Riding, which seems to be the second level below major-league. If that's not enough, the Columbus weekend will compete with other PBR events in Spokane, Washington and Wichita, Kansas. And the folks in Wichita can have open auditions among thousands of steers.

Sad to say, Columbus is a minor-league sports city again. We'll get cowboys with dreams of hitting the bull-riding big time. But does the same thing apply to the bulls? Will we get the ones barely beyond walking to the middle of the arena, hoping to win a blue ribbon?

If you want to enter the Columbus Pro Bull Riding event - sorry, you're too late. The web site indicates there was a one-week entry period, and it ended last Friday. Hopefully the contestants' names will be posted at the Election Board office today, as usual.

From what I can tell, the Thanksgiving week bull riding contest at Club H2O did NOT qualify anyone for the Pro Bull Riding event at the Civic Center. For one thing, one contest was for the "Sexiest Buck-n-Babe" - and PBR riders don't seem very sexy when they're sent crashing into the metal fence around the ring.

For the record, Kansas native Kasey Hayes won the PBR event in Baltimore. That earned him about $28,000. But that doesn't seem like enough to me. Hayes should win rights to the final bull he rode -- to fill his freezer with dinner for a month.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, and goes in unusual directions from there. See what we mean at "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our blog has readers across the U.S., and around the world. Even some with unusual memories of Columbus....

The original Chickasaw Club in Columbus was located in the downtown area and was owned by a German.

I met my ex-husband there, and he finally had enough money to join the Big Eddy Club and everything you've heard about it is true.

Everything bad you've heard about Columbus GA is true. I was born in 1947 and lived there until I was 35 and then I ran for my life and haven't been back.

It is corrupt and dangerous, through and through. I lived the life for 35 years and couldn't escape it, even after running and hiding to 3 cities and 2 states, until a few years ago when my ex and my father died.

My son says Columbus is the armpit of the world. I say it is h**l on earth.

I do remember the Goo Goo, the Village a Go-Go, the Country Club and many clubs on Victory Drive. I remember many, many things (and people) about Columbus - the Martins, the Woodalls, the Williams family, the Colquitts, the Tisdales.......I could go on and on, but why?

For the other side of this controversial issue, we invite you to do a Google search for "Columbus Chamber of Commerce."

Our blog records show we haven't talked about the Chickasaw Club since 2006. The Macon Road location provided one of my first encounters with a Columbus beggar in 1997. He had me drive to Kmart on Milgen Road, then to a gas station on Eighth Street. But he never found the ride he said was waiting for him - and he grew tired of my waiting for his ride to show up, so I could ask if he'd take a credit card.

I'm not sure why this woman felt the need to "run for her life" from Columbus, or why she felt the city remained in her clutches for years. Certainly the car payments to Bill Heard Chevrolet couldn't have stretched THAT long.

But I can understand the danger part of Columbus. A man was shot early Sunday, in a parking lot within one block of my home. The shooting occurred at 12:30 a.m. - which doesn't explain why one of my neighbors fired another artillery shell firecracker during the dinner hour Sunday night.

Let's see if there was anything happier to think about Sunday:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 72 degrees F. All we need is a spill by "The Sandman," and we could have our own version of Panama City Beach.

+ Columbus Police reported someone robbed the Taco Bell on Macon Road, as it opened for the day. Police never disclose how much cash is taken in these hold-ups - but I hope the staff worked off the 79-89-99 cent menu.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer asked several community leaders what will be their biggest challenge in the year ahead. For the newspaper, I'd guess it's continuing daily publication....

+ WRBL's Tammy Terry received a nomination from a hairstyling web site for the "Best New Original Style" of 2008. If she wins this award, two-thirds of the prize should go to the company which makes her hairspray.

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,077 (- 32, 2.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 JAN 09: Noisy, Not Nosy

"Wake up, you Alabama fan!" So said my next-door neighbor Saturday morning, as he walked down the complex toward someone several apartments away. He said it loud enough to wake up every apartment in between - and on a Saturday morning, even the Auburn fans might have been upset.

Since I turn off the TV for a seventh-day Sabbath, I wasn't sure what to make of my neighbor's outburst. I didn't know if Alabama had won the Sugar Bowl in a blowout Friday night, or been embarrassed. And at the two places where I attended Saturday services, worshipers were so focused on godly things that it never came up. Most Alabamians would call us the strange folks....

But I knew why my next-door neighbor had taken that loud walk. It's because the man down the walkway had visited him Friday evening. "I've got ten, says 'Bama," the faraway man declared in a loud voice of his own. He wanted the man next door to hear through the screen door - but my neighbor wasn't following his example, by blasting WKZJ-FM on his radio.

From what I could hear, my next-door neighbor did NOT take that other man up on his ten-dollar bet. But there's a larger issue here - the fact that I can hear these discussions at all. Loudness is becoming more commonplace in my apartment complex. And it's grown beyond my next-door neighbor occasionally howling like a wolf after dark on the porch.

The man who offered a ten-dollar bet decided to start 2009 in a loud way, by setting off several fireworks in the apartment complex courtyard shortly after midnight. They included a couple of artillery shells, and absolutely NO sparklers. I somewhat hoped my neighbors would make a New Year's resolution to obey the law.

Then as I ate dinner Friday night, someone in another apartment decided to set off bottle rockets. Certainly it couldn't be because Mississippi won the Cotton Bowl hours before....

When the third bottle rocket shot into the sky, I'd had enough. I called 911 and reported the illegal activity. Yes, I can hear some of you -- I should have gone to my neighbor and politely asked if he knew the Georgia fireworks laws. But going to my neighbor when my neighbor is armed with something that can disfigure my face didn't seem very wise.

The 911 dispatcher promised to send a police officer to the apartment complex, to calm things down. I don't know if the officer ever showed up, but the fireworks stopped immediately after I made the phone call. So maybe the neighbor was burning off New Year's leftovers - or he's saving the rest for Barack Obama's inauguration.

To be fair, my neighbors in the apartment complex didn't really start this upsurge in noise. The business next door to the complex did. Two weekends ago, it had a year-end party for the staff on a Friday night with a live band. It's hard to take an evening nap when people are singing "Give me three steps toward the door" within ten yards of your bedroom.

The Anglican church on the other side of the apartment complex is a very different story. The people there seem calm and not very charismatic. In fact, one member came to my door a couple of weekends ago offering me a free ham. Too bad - as I stopped eating pork years ago. A frozen turkey can keep a single guy well fed for a couple of weeks.

Oh yes - how about that Sugar Bowl game! Utah upset Alabama 31-17, finished the season with a perfect 13-0 record - and might be declared national champion by the same East Alabama newspapers which gave that title to Auburn four years ago.

-> Did we have an award-winning year at the poker table in 2008? Check the year-end review at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We don't often receive acceptance speeches from Burkard Award winners, but we have a couple today. We begin with our "Biggest Political Loser"....

"HURT'SBORO 2008

"Sir" Richard:

You are indeed observant - and so correct in many ways. In reading your BLOG one cannot help but notice "Hurt'sboro mentioned over and over again; and mostly in jest! Rightly so, everything generated in Town Hall, Municipal Court, and our "Mayberry" version of a police Dept. is just a bad joke!

I readily accept the jibes you cast in my direction. To misquote Patrick Henry - "I only regret, that I have only one life to give to my adopted town!"

You are 100% correct about me being a political loser. What a compliment!I I cannot think of any field where it's better to lose than to win and become a "real" politician! Perhaps congratulations are even in order.

I noticed on the Thursday night WRBL newscast that Tommy Worthy has "roped" in another sucker. I hope the poor fellow wises up before Tommy picks his pocket as he is very capable of doing! Litigating against a Municipality is difficult if not impossable. There's immunity, time restrictions and other legal formalities to shield government from prosecution for even the most flagrant of misdeeds. Take it from someone who has been there and done that!!!

Happy New Year!

The Outgoing Constable .

Robert Schweiger hired Tommy Worthy as his attorney, in last year's attempt to dissolve the Hurtsboro city charter. This latest case involves a man who claims Phenix City Police abused him during a 2005 arrest. If this follows the example of other recent Phenix City lawsuits, the man will get a nice check and a city job.

We also heard from the "Best Example of How Political Seasons Are Too Long":

Richard,

You seem to forget that you were a two time winner last year of the Biggest Idiot Award, "keep up the good work". Lets see if you can out-do yourself this year. Mark LaJoye, Muscogee County Sheriff 2012

Oh, please - how could I possibly forget that?! But those were NOT Burkard Awards, handed out by me. They were LaJoye Awards, presented by him. But come to think of it, I don't think either of us were invited to Sheriff John Darr's inauguration.

Mark LaJoye is wasting no time taking on the new Muscogee County Sheriff - and for that matter, public safety in general. His web site's "real news" section claims top law officers "don't even talk to each other." Yet Mayor Jim Wetherington claimed the other day he talks to Police Chief Ricky Boren after every homicide. I hope that's NOT the reason why Columbus had ten of them in December....

Two of those homicides led to another message this weekend:

Can you believe the guy who showed up in Recorder's Court audience to see his brother go before the judge for murder and was arrested himself for murder?..

I wonder if this was a planned sting by Columbus detectives or just a quirk?

Good work Mr Detective another one off the streets !! This should be added to the list of dumb and dumber criminals.

While I haven't called Columbus Police about this, I suspect it's simply a case of detectives following the evidence. Police claim Xavier Cannon drove brother Dezmond to the scene of a double homicide in mid-December -- and reportedly did NOT think they were going to play flag football in the street.

But the attorney for the Cannon brothers is warning against a rush to judgment. Joseph Wiley says there's only "one person that committed murder." But in some cases, being in the car with a murderer is enough to get you charged with murder. It's a bit like being a member of Pastor Jeremiah Wright's church....

Let's take one more e-mail, which goes back to last week's list of "25 things we didn't know":

Richard, Instead of an 11 million dollar grant for the Columbus Airport to repair and expand the runways I suggest the money could be better spent by adding a special fast lane to the Atlanta Airport for Groome Transportation! Especially in view of the fact that the majority of individuals from the Columbus area who fly do so out of the Atlanta Airport. Does the Columbus Airport even make enough money to pay the utilities in that almost always empty building?

Now now - WLTZ claimed the other night that the Columbus Airport serves between 50,000 and 60,000 travelers a year. Don't those big numbers impress you? Well, as long as you don't divide the yearly total by 365 days....

Thanks to all of you who write, and now let's check other interesting things from the first weekend of 2009:

+ Which area church held a communion service - only to have the men and women break out in spontaneous hymn-singing, during the foot-washing in the lobby? At least, I assume it was spontaneous. Most choir directors don't require singers to take off their shoes during practice, and step into cold water to hit high notes.

+ The first three phone calls we received in the new year all had something in common. All three were recorded messages involving credit card debt. When the voice declares this is my "final notice," I now add a word to that - today.

+ Keep Columbus Beautiful held its annual "Bring One for the Chipper" day, recycling Christmas trees. Perhaps in a few years, Chipper Jones will be able to come down from Atlanta and personally take part in this.

+ The Auburn women's basketball team advanced to 15-0 on the season by stopping Stephen F. Austin 79-56. Something doesn't look right about this score. Shouldn't the losing team be called Stephanie?

+ The Georgia men's team lost to Missouri 83-76. The Bulldogs let this Kansas grad down - but at least the Jayhawks won over Tennessee. This gives me bragging rights over Andrew Wittenberg for at least the next two months.

+ The Atlanta Falcons were ousted from the pro football playoffs by Arizona 30-24. Did anyone seriously expect the Cardinals to win this game? The way Arizona played in recent weeks, you might have thought the team was spending time with Charles Barkley at Phoenix nightclubs.

(I went for my Saturday evening jog with headphones on, listening to the football game on WDAK. I ran about three miles during 11 minutes of third-quarter game time - and I can't tell you how thrilling it is to break the four-minute mile barrier after all these years.)

+ Instant Message to "The Shoe Dept." at Peachtree Mall: OK, I give up. I'm stumped. Why do you sell boxes of candy near the checkout of a shoe store? Do customers need something to get their minds off that "new shoe smell?"

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.35 a gallon at Jet-Pep, U.S. 280 and Interstate 85 in Opelika.... cheesy double beef burritos for 89 cents at Taco Bell.... and school children across Alabama facing pop quizzes, to find Utah on a map....

COMING THIS WEEK: Do I have a long-lost twin in Savannah?....

The number of unique visitors to our blog has doubled since 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,109 (+ 48, 4.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.