The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Sunday, June 14, 2009

14 JUN 09: There Go the Newlyweds

"I thought June was the month of brides," a local pastor said during a worship service last weekend. "But now President Obama says it's Gay Pride Month." The minister clearly was against that proclamation - and I don't really think it's simply because the Bible warns against proud looks.

That pastor may be pleased to learn an old-fashioned June event occurred Saturday at the Columbus Botanical Gardens. There was a wedding - except there actually were 20 couples married, not simply one. And no, Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church was NOT scheduled to be present.

All 20 couples in this ceremony were connected with Fort Benning's Third Brigade. For some, it was an official first marriage. For others, it was a reaffirmation of their vows. But there's no word about whether any members of the Army Marksmanship Team were involved, for "shotgun weddings."

Several businesses went out of their way to make this mass marriage marvelous. The Miami dressmaker Alfred Angelo donated 20 wedding gowns to the brides, complete with veils. Veils?! Is that a way of preparing soldiers for duty in Afghanistan?

The Georgia chapter of "Operation Homefront" organized other details of this wedding. Rivertown School of Beauty provided hair and makeup preparation for the brides. But I really don't think that mixed martial arts card at the Civic Center was a Friday night "bachelor party" for the soldiers.

(Really now, ladies -- would you want your potential husband to watch mixed martial arts on the eve of your wedding? It might be a preview of mixed MARITAL arts, months after the wedding.)

After Saturday's ceremony, the 20 couples were treated to a reception at the Botanical Gardens -- with refreshments provided by Hooters. I'm assuming that's all Hooters provided. No servers in halter tops, which might give the grooms second thoughts....

Saturday's mass marriage was one of many signs in Columbus that the Third Brigade is about to head off to battle again. Various salutes are being held around the area, such as "Hammer Night" Saturday at the Columbus Lions game. In most cities, "Hammer Night" would be a fund-raiser for Habitat for Humanity.

(The Columbus USO chapter hosted a tailgate party before the game, with free refreshments for soldiers. It probably would be in poor taste right now to give afghans to all the military wives....)

This blog broke the news four years ago that Aflac Chairman Dan Amos had remarried [5 Feb 05]. That required sorting through marriage license applications at the Government Center - and I marveled at how many of them early that year involved Fort Benning soldiers. They took a vow of love, before going to a place where "love conquers all" probably makes extremists laugh.

-> Many online poker players are unhappy with the federal government right now. Learn why at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: The Big Switch came and The Big Switch went, yet my next-door neighbor was baffled. "I can pick up every TV station except Channel 9," he said Friday afternoon. This older man seemed like a very unlikely viewer of "One Life to Live."

The neighbor and I were in the same boat. We were near downtown Columbus, unable to watch WTVM at all -- and I still couldn't Saturday night. I followed the expert's advice, too. I'd "scan, scan and scan some more" - but "General Hospital" was out the door.

An announcement explaining the situation aired during WXTX "News at Ten" Saturday night. It said WTVM is "in transition to complete our DTV site.... and maximize our coverage area." But give the engineers some credit -- they spent so much time preparing viewers for The Big Switch that they may have forgotten to prepare themselves.

It's not clear when the DTV transition will be complete. But I'm sure plenty of basketball fans want it finished in time for tonight's Game 5 of the N.B.A. Finals. Orlando fans probably will tune to WEAM-AM 1580 anyway, so they don't have to see one more last-minute choke.

WLGA has moved into the digital channel position that WTVM used to have. When I turned on my HDTV set Friday afternoon and saw the God's House of Prayer service from Auburn, I actually considered it a step up from "All My Children."

The Big Switch affected things I never expected. At midday Friday I went to my laundromat, and found the numbers had changed on all the clothes driers....

No, really! The coin laundry owner swapped out a few big driers for "double-decker" models, then changed the numbers on all of them. This mattered to me, because one of the driers tends to run longer than the rest - and once ran 45 minutes on one quarter. If only I had kept track of which state's quarter I put in....

After doing a little math, I figured one which drier I wanted. The old #8 is now #11. But now I need a new rhyme to replace the one I borrowed from WLTZ: "The clothes are just great when they're put in drier eight."

Before I flip the last switch to go to bed, let's check other weekend headlines:

+ Which Columbus church is taking time during each week's service to pray for another congregation in town? And surprisingly, it is NOT praying for the congregation to collapse so it can recruit all the best softball players....

+ More than 1,400 people went to the Columbus Career Center, hoping for jobs with the new NCR plant. The business only has about 800 openings - so I hope the remaining 600 applicants don't get angry and steal more ATM's.

+ An Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight from Columbus made an emergency landing in Atlanta, because the landing gear malfunctioned. This is why pilots and copilots need martial arts training - so they can kick the door open with the precise amount of force.

+ WRBL reported Webster County High School has canceled its upcoming football season. Fewer than 20 students are on the team. The rest are too busy working on farms, so the local economy doesn't collapse completely.

+ The Atlanta Falcons released quarterback Michael Vick. Were there odds in Las Vegas on this - whether the team would release him before the federal guards did?

+ Instant Message to all NASCAR fans: Please don't be confused. Yes, today is Flag Day - but it does NOT mean you should set green or yellow flags outside your house, depending on the status of the race.

The number of unique visitors to our blog is up more than 12.5 percent so far this year! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 604 (- 29, 4.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, June 12, 2009

12 JUN 09: One Down, Three to Go

The poker night was successful, with a top-five finish. But because of that, the poker night was also late. I was driving home around 11:00 p.m. - and it was an amazing ride. I've never been able to hit so many green lights in a row on Manchester Expressway.

Tempting late-night things are lurking, when I drive home on Manchester Expressway. Now don't get the wrong idea about this. I'm talking about as many as three doughnut shops. I only know about the Platinum Club from the arrests mentioned on TV.

I said no to Dunkin Donuts on Manchester Expressway, then chose to turn left at Veterans Parkway to avoid Golden Donuts down the road. But I couldn't resist the third option, and turned in at Dunkin Donuts downtown. Yes, my resistance was D-D-feated.

I parked the car to walk inside, and then noticed something strange. A man was lying on the sidewalk, next to the Dunkin Donuts building. That guy on TV who used to say, "Time to make the doughnuts" has to take a break sometime....

The giant "D handle" for entering Dunkin Donuts was locked. A woman inside made the universal motion for me to use the drive-through lane -- rotating a steering wheel back and forth, like so many drivers of bumper cars at Zoo City USA.

I responded to the pantomime by pointing to the man lying on the sidewalk. The Dunkin Donuts employee indicated she knew he was there. But exactly why was he there? Did he try to rob the place, and got knocked unconscious by a baker with a rolling pin?

Not knowing the answer, I returned to my car and went around the small shopping center to the drive-thru speaker. I've admittedly never felt comfortable ordering doughnuts this way. I want to see my options, in case something new and interesting is on the shelves - or maybe the long-awaited comeback of glazed oat bran doughnuts from the 1980s.

Dunkin Donuts had two double chocolates, and that often works well for me. As I rolled around to the window, two Columbus Police cars approached quickly on Veterans Parkway - with lights on and sirens blaring. They were coming for the man lying on the sidewalk, almost as if he was a pro-croissant extremist from France.

"That didn't seem necessary," the woman helping me at the Dunkin Donuts window said to no one in particular. But I learned later at home of a gunfire exchange on the other side of Columbus, which left a man dead and a sheriff's officer wounded. One anxious moment in law enforcement can lead to another - and the mayor DOES want people to know our police are on the job.

One of the officers started asking loud questions of the man on the sidewalk, who didn't seem to move through any of it. "Are you in diabetic shock?" was one of them. This doughnut shop DOES double as a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop, after all....

I never saw the man move or heard him say a thing, but one of the officers confirmed he was breathing. That was good news - especially since gas stations with free air were on the other side of 15^th Street.

"I saw him chowing down on an Arby's sandwich," the woman inside Dunkin Donuts told the police officer. "He might have choked on it." This is why I wait to eat breakfast until after the morning jog is over....

By this time my bag of doughnuts was in hand and paid for. As I pulled out on Veterans Parkway to go home, a third city vehicle approached the store - an ambulance which also had its flashing lights on. At least its siren wasn't blaring. Otherwise, the crew might have been forced to handle a sleep apnea case nearby.

As of this writing, I have no idea exactly what happened Wednesday night. But a case like this explains why the downtown Dunkin Donuts locks its doors at 10:00 p.m., and only sells drive-thru items overnight. Strange "Munchkins" can only go out, instead of sneaking in.

The best guess I can make for the man lying on the sidewalk is that he might be someone living nearby at the House of Mercy. Perhaps he's in the midst of some kind of dependancy treatment. Or then again, maybe an old-timer returned to this corner of Columbus and was stunned to see what's replaced the old Frisky Whiskey liquor store.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A reader recently longed for the return of Talkline. That brought a message from the long-time host of that radio show....

One of your readers sent me to your blog the other day when the discussion of ratings on Talkline and WRCG was mentioned [29 May]. I thought I would help you in providing the information you were writing about. WRCG actually lost Rush at the beginning of 2001(not 2003) as we decided because of the change mandated by Premiere to pull the plug on the show before he took back his microphone to start January. Talkline was not effected by any loss of Rush but certainly the station was. Just for the record, Talkline consistently during the ten year period I hosted 1991-2001 was higher rated per share than the 12-3p period as WRCG was built on local news and information. Rush was a great product, and still is, but was not the cornerstone either ratings or revenue of the station at the time. Talkline was consistently during its time period either the No. 1 or No. 2 listened to station (12+) as surveyed. WRCG was consistently in the top 3 of stations. Talkline continued to be highly rated through the time that Doug Graham hosted the show as well. Its demise, and the stations, can more to directly tied to the change of ownership than any thing else. Chuck McClure Sr. was committed to WRCG as the flagship of the company. This wasn't true of those from the Northeast who came in and didn't understand its importance. WDAK has benefited from the bad management decisions and the change of tower location which resulted in a very limited signal.

In addition, our coverage on TV 16 from 1991-2001 had a great impact on the impact of Talkline. I understand from broadcast experts, that I might have been the first to have my show on daily television. That extended(through cable viewers) the reach of the show into many homes the AM signal did not reach at the time.

For talk radio to ever be a force in the local market again, the product needs to be on a good signal FM with a commitment to a local talk show (quit worrying about who calls in) and develop the connection with the listeners that any good radio station makes.

Hope this helps and keep up the good work on your blog keeping the people in Columbus informed!

Doug Kellett

Thanks to Doug for setting the radio record straight - but what would Rush Limbaugh think if you called him a "product?" Wouldn't that be a bit like trying to tell Newt Gingrich he's a "citizen of the world"?

Doug Kellett's idea of Columbus FM talk radio may be coming true, in a way he never imagined. Did you see WFXE-FM's Michael Soul on WRBL Thursday night, talking about the Russell County school superintendent vote? "Black talk" is growing, especially on Davis Broadcasting's stations -- and the music around the talk seems more danceable than what Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity play.

Speaking of this, the noncommercial side of the FM dial had a strange moment Thursday. The religious programming of WFRC-FM "Family Radio" suddenly was replaced for a minute by sports talk host Jim Rome. Rome talked about "WAR," but certainly not about Christian soldiers.

Now from radio to television....

Richard: I wanted to let you know that due to the digital transition and WTVM's move this Friday to Channel 11 Digital, we have changed to Channel 13. We made this change on Tuesday night. Thanks

Best Regards,

Mark M Snow

WWCG Channel 13

I'll have to take Mark Snow at his word on this - because ever since I changed to a high-definition TV, I've barely been able to pick up his low-power station. Even Thursday afternoon on the new channel, I saw 95-percent.... uh, well.... I saw snow, but not his station.

This reminds us: Happy Big Switch day to you. This e-mail explains why they're telling you on TV to "scan and rescan" your set. Only with digital television, it's a DT-scan instead of a CT-scan.

(So if a low-power analog station moves two spots down the dial, does it make the Little Switch?)

The big station in Columbus began its Big Switch at 1:00 a.m. ET today, by turning off its analog signal. The change in dial position depended on an Atlanta station. WXIA's web site gave no clue Thursday as to exactly when it was moving out -- and whether it will still declare itself "11 Alive," or become 11-dead.

The major TV stations in Columbus have been running digital programming on the UHF band. The Big Switch means several stations will shift their dial positions for digital TV. For instance, WLGA is moving from channel 66 to 47 - and if it's like Georgia Public Broadcasting, over-the-air viewers in Columbus might never see it again.

By the way, WLGA must be hurting from the loss of The CW network to WLTZ. The station's web site is down to a "freebie," with GoDaddy advertising all over it. I did that three years ago, to save money while trying to start a sports league - and I hate to tell WLGA's managers that the league didn't last a month.

Let's see what else made news on Big Switch Eve:

+ Columbus Police admitted two officers have been arrested for drunk driving in recent weeks, and one has left the force. Maybe this city needs more doughnut shops after all....

+ The federal prosecutor for Columbus announced he will resign in late July. Max Wood told the Macon Telegraph he's been planning to leave office ever since President Obama was elected. All Gray Conger has to do is switch political parties again, and he could be in the running for this job.

+ WRBL reported former Muscogee County School Board member Joseph Roberson will move away from Columbus. He's leaving South Columbus United Methodist Church, to become a district superintendent in Statesboro. So the host of the radio program "Getting on Top of Life" now will be on top of dozens of churches.

+ The NCAA ordered the University of Alabama to forfeit as many as 21 football wins, while putting 16 different campus sports on probation for three years. Dozens of student-athletes apparently were given free textbooks - and apparently did NOT have to earn them by winning a contest to sing the college fight song.

(One of the Alabama football players reportedly caught with a "free textbook" account was former Carver High School lineman Marlon Davis. He's signed a rookie contract with pro football's Cleveland Browns - where the only free textbook he'll need to read is filled with diagramed plays.)

+ Instant Message to the Deli Central restaurant mascot: Hey, Mr. Giant Sandwich! I saw you on 13^th Street with that sign. I hope you turn it the other direction every few minutes at this time of year - or else you'll have uneven toasting.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 633 (+ 13, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

11 JUN 09: The Wet Look

The Country Club of Columbus marked its 100^th anniversary Wednesday. WRBL attended a celebration, where one staff member said the rough on the golf course is high -- and people actually are happy about it. These must be the golfers who want the winning score at the U.S. Open to be about four-over-par.

The rough is rising because the rain has been falling. In fact, so much rain has fallen that Georgia state officials announced Wednesday the state drought is effectively over. So why didn't the Columbus Fire Department open some hydrants in the late-afternoon heat to celebrate?

A statement from Governor Sonny Perdue said the Georgia Environmental Protection Division will allow outdoor watering on a "non-drought schedule" for the first time since 2006. But there still WILL be a schedule - showing the Republican governor is still too moderate for some people.

The outdoor watering rules in Georgia have been strict for three years. You could only do it three days a week, between 12:00 midnight and 10:00 a.m. - so countless numbers of people were putting out their sprinklers with their cats at bedtime.

The new schedule ends the ten-hour watering window. But odd-even daily rules will continue across Georgia, with NO outdoor watering at all on Fridays. If families in rural counties haven't changed their "Saturday night bath" schedule, this may be a great time to do it....

Governor Perdue calls the change a victory for Georgians who have tried to conserve water. People in North Georgia reduced their monthly water usage by about 15 percent since late 2007. Now the silk flowers outside shopping centers might be replaced with real ones.

The Columbus Water Works web site had not yet been updated Wednesday night, to reflect the change in watering rules. But it appears the chances of "Callaway Blue" becoming an advertiser on that web site are over for awhile....

WLTZ reported the other night that Columbus is more than 12 inches above normal, in rainfall for the year. That's quite a change from the last couple of years. Next thing you know, we'll be hearing warnings that shrimp along the Florida gulf coast have too much water and could drown.

Only three months ago, the federal government considered almost 72 percent of Georgia and 13 percent of Alabama under some kind of drought conditions. Then spring rains came -- and now only a few northeast Georgia counties are even considered "abnormally dry." They must be the ones who challenged Seth Harp on Sunday liquor sales in convenience stores.

Yes, I know spring rains came to help end the Georgia drought. But I'm left wondering what else happened to cause this. I heard a local pastor claim a couple of years ago that the Southeast drought was due to the city of Atlanta celebrating the homosexual lifestyle. What did the city do this year - arrange for buses to move homosexual people to Iowa, for same-sex marriages?

In another apparent sign the drought is over, a fisherman had to be rescued Wednesday from rocks in the middle of the Chattahoochee River. The river level rose suddenly, as Georgia Power made a regular adjustment in its dams. If the water covers your shoes, it does NOT always mean it's raining in LaGrange.

E-MAIL UPDATE: As for a Columbus tradition which was delayed by rain....

Sunday's Arts in the Park at Lake Bottom was wonderful..A good afternoon of family fun..Perhaps a name change is in order. How about Critters and Crafts in the Park..Some people were strolling kids, some were walking pets..The food was good and the vendors were friendly.

Somehow I don't think that name change is going to happen. Midtown Inc. has put a big emphasis in recent weeks on arts, as opposed to crafts. It's almost like someone wants Lee Bayard to set paintings out along 13^th Street, instead of ceramic statues of Georgia Bulldogs.

We'll save some celebrity e-mail for Friday, and move on to other Wednesday discoveries:

+ A trip down Veterans Parkway found the old Mildred Terry Library bulldozed and gone, barely one week after the new building opened. If a building with this much history can disappear so quickly, it leaves me wondering how the old Baker Middle School is still standing after all these years.

+ A blog reader alerted us to a U.S. House resolution celebrating the life of the late Habitat for Humanity founder Millard Fuller. It was approved Tuesday by voice vote - but while Rep. Sanford Bishop introduced it, for some odd reason Rep. Lynn Westmoreland didn't co-sponsor it. Don't tell me Westmoreland blames Fuller for the collapse of the housing market....

(Almost all the co-sponsors of Sanford Bishop's resolution were Democrats. It's not like Bishop didn't try to reach out to Republicans. The resolution supports a "kinder, gentler world" - stealing a phrase from the first former President Bush.)

+ WLTZ reported on the end of the Columbus city recycling contract with Goodwill Industries. It revealed Goodwill handles 148,000 pounds of recycled materials each week. I didn't realize so many Columbus residents still drink milk at every meal.

+ The Russell County Commission voted in favor of liquor sales at stores on Sundays. Phenix City has allowed this for several years, but not the entire county - so all the preachers who moved to Ladonia are going to lobby the Alabama Legislature hard before next year's session. They might even pray against the lawmakers, too.

+ The evening news reported the Columbus Parks Department may give up daily management of the Cooper Creek Park tennis complex. Yes, we can say it - after all these years, the city has developed feet of clay.

+ Instant Message to the Gallops Senior Center: I don't get it. You have bridge every week. You have pinochle. You have canasta. You've now added bid whist. But c'mon - no poker?! Why are you letting local nightclubs have all the crowds and big fun?

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: Police show up at a business with lights and sirens, and a woman wonders why.... plus a message to us from Doug Kellett....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 620 (+ 28, 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

10 JUN 09: Tighter Here, Looser There

Based on Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting, it appears the area economy has made a sea change. Phenix City now has all the economic growth, while Columbus does not. After all, only Phenix City was able to afford giving the city council a raise.

Columbus Council unanimously approved a fiscal 2010 budget, which Mayor Jim Wetherington described as tight and cautious. For city employees it means no layoffs, no furloughs, no raises - and 100 new police officers, to say no to all sorts of other things.

The Columbus city budget totals nearly $235 million. By my math, that comes to more than $1,200 per resident -- but there are things you can do to reduce your share of the bill. We single guys know enough free samples at supermarkets can make a nice lunch, free of sales taxes.

One city tax will go up in Columbus, under the upcoming budget. Councilors voted Tuesday to increase the city hotel-motel tax to eight percent in August -- or as the staff at Hotels.com is calling it, "Bonus Time."

But here's the thing: Mayor Jim Wetherington admits he's asked city employees to take fewer trips to conferences to save money. So I guess staff members will stay in town and take "retreats" to local motels - then be encouraged to stay overnight, sleep off that big dinner and make the city extra money.

I didn't realize until I checked the budget breakdown that Columbus has a "Paving Fund." That's what the $13.7 million fund for street improvements is called -- and it's admittedly a nicer name than the "Pothole Pot."

While the Columbus city budget doesn't lay off anyone, it does include money for several new positions. The City Manager's office will have a "Citizen's Service Technician." Does that mean the 311 hotline breaks down all the time?

One position not listed in the main budget ordinance is a director of the new "Office of Crime Prevention." Mayor Wetherington told the evening news he still has to figure out how much to pay that person. He certainly doesn't want it to look like he stole a top candidate....

The Columbus city budget also includes $200,000 for the city to take over the city recycling program, as a long-term contract with Goodwill Industries expires. A recycling center of some kind is planned on Victory Drive - perfect for dropping off styrofoam "to-go" boxes from the nice new restaurants.

By the way, a close look at Tuesday's agenda indicated the newly improved public entrance to the Government Center may not be ready until around Labor Day. So if someone complains to you the city's "been giving me the run-around all summer long," it might not be an exaggeration.

Last see what else happened, as the heat and humidity climbed on Tuesday:

+ A morning jog took me past the Columbus Civic Center, which is hosting the United Methodist Church's annual conference for South Georgia. An organization with St. Andrews in its name was outside, seemingly selling balloons. I never knew Andrew was the patron saint of helium.

(Then there were the signs pointing to "reserved parking" for the United Methodist conference. I assume the Pentecostal and charismatic members parked in a different area.)

+ A U.S. Transportation Department report revealed flights to the Columbus Airport arrive late 30.8 percent of the time. That's a higher percentage than arrivals in Atlanta, Birmingham, Montgomery and Savannah. So Columbus isn't really that much slower - Atlantic Southeast Airlines only makes it seem that way.

+ The Russell County School Board voted 4-2 NOT to renew the contract of Superintendent Yvette Richardson beyond next June. Board member Chuck Johnson told WXTX "News at Ten" he had problems with Richardson driving "home to Birmingham" every weekend. At least that's an improvement from the late Jack Russell, and his drives to Biloxi casinos.

+ Fort Benning Commandant Michael Barbero gave a series of exit interviews to TV reporters. Barbero admitted he's not sure where he's going, after the change of command in two weeks. Some members of the Third Brigade probably wish they were in the same situation....

+ U.S. News and World Report magazine rated Auburn one of the ten "best cities to live." So what does Auburn have that Columbus doesn't? We have a state park. We have nice golf courses. We have.... oh wait. The magazine seemed really impressed by Auburn's football fans.

+ Instant Message to Adam Churchwell of Premier Martial Arts: I heard your comment on WLTZ that children are "learning a skill" at your summer camp. I never thought of karate and tae kwon do as skills - but I suppose they could come in handy, if the meat tenderizer runs out at a restaurant.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 592 (+ 19, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

9 JUN 09: Park, Put It In

It's nice to see the Georgia Supreme Court is concerned about saving energy. When Columbus city attorneys showed up in Atlanta Monday, the court had a ruling in another case waiting to hand them at the door.

The Georgia Supreme Court ruled unanimously against the city of Columbus, and in favor of the "Education Park Coalition." You may remember this group, which wants land behind the Columbus Public Library turned into a park. Right now it's a big slab of asphalt, with some weeds - yet for some reason, children aren't staging bike races there during the summer.

Georgia Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears wrote for the court, but stopped short of declaring there has to be a park behind the library on Macon Road. I think that means she's still in the running for future U.S. Supreme Court openings - because an "activist judge" would have ordered the park built, and even shown up with a shovel.

The Georgia Supreme Court ruled on the narrow issue of whether the Education Park Coalition can sue the city of Columbus, over the use of sales tax money around the library. Judge Doug Pullen and the state appeals court said no. The state's highest court decided that was an error -- so now the coalition can resume regular meetings in a big booth at Country's Barbecue.

The question in the case was whether the Education Park Coalition had to prove in advance that the city of Columbus acted "ultra vires." That's a fancy Latin legal term for going "beyond its powers" - and is NOT about sending a powerful e-mail virus to coalition members' computers.

The Georgia Supreme Court decided Columbus city officials can be challenged in a lawsuit, about whether they "failed to perform their public duty" with the land behind the main library. For some, that means a park. For others, it means "greenspace." At this moment.... well, at least the weeds are green.

The court ruling says judges such as Doug Pullen should NOT make rulings on the facts of a lawsuit, before that suit goes to trial. This clearly means it should be left to the attorneys. And I think this is one situation where a "smoke-filled room" still is allowed under Georgia's smoking law.

Trouble is, a spokesman for the Muscogee County Library Board indicated on the evening news the park matter already has been haggled by attorneys - for hours. Now it could happen all over again, with a lawsuit by the Education Park Coalition still possible. And on top of that, coalition attorney Josh McKoon is declaring himself a State Senate candidate today - so that pavement could become a Georgia state park.

As for that other case: the Georgia Supreme Court heard arguments Monday about a Columbus city lawsuit against Hotels.com . It's another case where a web site is accused of keeping some of the city hotel-motel tax charged to customers. If you think the city is upset, imagine what that web site might do to the housekeeping crew.

An attorney for Hotels.com actually admitted in court some hotel-motel tax is kept by the web site. He explained it's a "service charge." Didn't you wonder how those discount travel sites made any money? It either was that, or the web sites installed those in-room refrigerators with three-dollar cans of soda.

-> Our poker games are moving online, sometimes with dramatic results. Check what's happening at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION about Phenix City's big pay raise ended Monday afternoon, with 91 percent of our voters saying the mayor and council should be recalled (10-1). We don't know who cast the vote against it - but perhaps that Councilor will admit to it at next week's meeting.

A reader suggested "recall should be initiated" after the Phenix City Council voted to give itself a 133-percent raise in late May, while doubling the mayor's salary. But former Hurtsboro Constable Robert Schweiger left a comment during our poll, suggesting recalls are NOT possible in Alabama. Given Schweiger's record in Hurtsboro, he's probably tried it and knows for sure.

We found a commentary from the Birmingham News which indicates Robert Schweiger is correct. Alabama's constitution prohibits recalls of any elected official, from the Governor down. So if you're really upset with the Phenix City Council, open your computer calendar right now and make a note to yourself for August 2012 - because admit it, otherwise you'll forget.

But another voter responded it would be "heresy" to recall the Phenix City Council. "This is small town, Sin City, Alabama, USA - a place where history comes alive." Or in this case, it's "what progress has preserved" with hyperinflation figured in.

Our new Big Blog Question is a battle of the O'Brians. With WKCN-FM "Kissin 99.3" talking about putting streaming video on Cable TV of East Alabama, we wonder if morning star Bear O'Brian is funnier than new "Tonight Show" host Conan O'Brian. It's a bit like our old poll for the best hair in Columbus, only in a different direction....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our "Monday movie" mention brought this message....

Why hasn't the new Star Trek movie run at the Imax yet. I bet that would draw a crowd.

It's not clear why it hasn't appeared yet, but the IMAX box office told me Monday "Star Trek" is coming soon. An employee did NOT have the date at hand. But perhaps the "Monsters and Aliens" have to settle their little dispute first.

Now let's see what else was in the Monday news....

+ Author Cilla McCain announced her book "Murder in Baker Company" about the killing of Fort Benning soldier Richard Davis will be released next 1 February. A book with this sort of subject matter can't be easy to promote. You want it to appeal to readers, while you probably hope the killers don't appeal in court anymore.

+ Phenix City Police reported someone stole a backhoe from a construction site, then removed an ATM from the Wachovia bank downtown. Aw c'mon, folks - that new NCR plant won't begin production for several months.

+ The Columbus Water Board held a closed-door discussion on the River Road holding tank collapse. The cause of the crash apparently has been determined, but it's NOT being released until legal settlements are finalized. Uh-oh - does that mean a security dog was a little too lively around a panel of switches?

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley announced he'll begin a trade-related business trip later this week. The final stop will be Australia -- and hopefully one of Riley's aides will remind him the Outback Steakhouse was created in the U.S.

(Governor Riley's delegation will travel first to France, for the Paris Air Show. The Alabama group will have a challenge - because Parisians will expect it to top the amount spent by President Obama's family.)

+ Members of football's Atlanta Falcons visited Fort Benning, and dined with some of the soldiers. That's a nice thing to do - but don't you wonder if any soldier dared to suggest a Falcons player imitate Pat Tillman?

+ Instant Message to WLTZ's Jeremy Moss: Wow, I think congratulations are in order. The other TV stations were without their regular sportscasters Monday night - but I admit I didn't see your part of the newscast. Did you make sure there were highlights from that St. Louis mixed martial arts card, which I'd never heard of before?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 573 (+ 34, 6.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, June 08, 2009

8 JUN 09: Fight Scenes

In case you missed it: S. David Passman III is now officially President and Chief Executive of Carmike Cinemas. He's no longer "interim" Chairman. Don't you love the way the movie theater chain stretched out the drama, over a couple of board meetings?

The people who complain about Carmike being the only movie chain in Columbus can't really say that anymore. New options are developing all over the place. Callaway Gardens kicks off a new outdoor series tonight. Too bad such a lovely locale couldn't find a lovelier movie to show than "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."

Callaway Gardens is showing family movies every Monday night at Robin Beach. The staff does it by inflating a 36-foot-tall movie screen. So if enough viewers consider the film boring, they can push over the screen and go floating in the dark on the lake.

The giant inflatable screen at Callaway Gardens sounds like what the Columbus Public Library used a few years ago, to show outdoor movies on Saturday nights. For some reason, the library doesn't do that anymore. Instead, it's screening "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" inside small branches - but in Marion County, five months later is still first-run.

Then there's the other new outdoor movie theatre in this area. "Field of Screens" has been open on weekends since February in rural Salem. Trouble is, we've had a lot of bad weather on weekends since February - and it's a wonder the tornado on 28 February didn't send the movie site up to Oz.

The Field of Screens is an old-fashioned drive-in. That kind of theatre is hard to find these days - so an entire generation of teenagers may not know how to cuddle in the backseat during a love scene.

I didn't realize until I called up the Field of Screens MySpace page that admission was FREE this past Friday night. Doesn't this tell you how quaint and old-fashioned the operators of this theatre are? I mean, they still use MySpace for self-promotion....

And we shouldn't overlook the biggest threat to Carmike Cinemas's movie monopoly. That's the big screen of the IMAX Theatre at Patriot Park. It's open seven days a week -- but attendance at the National Infantry Museum reportedly has been meager. Maybe more soldiers would attend if the travelogues were about Iraq, instead of Egypt.

The IMAX Theatre has its own Monday night movie series. "Military Mondays" feature classic films with war and battle themes. So Callaway Gardens can have the families tonight - Patriot Park will take the hard-core single guys.

So how does Carmike Cinemas fight back, against all this budding competition? The new C.E.O. says one key lies in.... bathrooms. Yes, bathrooms. Hopefully pay toilets are NOT becoming a reality in Columbus....

S. Lance Passman told the Los Angeles Times he wants clean restrooms at Carmike Cinemas. It's part of a new focus on the "fundamentals" of a quality movie theatre - as if hard-core fundamentalists no longer consider it a sin to go to a movie theatre.

S. Lance Passman's interview with the Los Angeles Times indicated a major change in direction for Carmike. He doesn't seem interested in multiplexes with stadium seating, saying that was a "frenzy" years ago. So the "Hollywood Connection 15" era is being replaced by the "Heavenly Commode 6."

S. Lance Passman added he wants to emphasize the training of personnel at Carmike Cinemas. Step one: an R-rated movie really means customers younger than 17 need to be accompanied by an adult.

-> Our last Thursday night poker game turned out quite nicely -- in more ways than one. Read what we mean at "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Last week's confession about our humble Honda turning 15 inspired someone to write us....

Hey Richard..If your car is as old as you say it is I don't guess you have to worry about being car jacked...Just a positive thought to boost your ego..I read where thugs are using jacked cars to use in armed robberies..Last year it was teens out to joy ride..Times are changing..

People might not want to steal my car, but several strangers over the years have asked if I was interested in selling it. One young mechanic did recently, as I had tire work done at a Wal-Mart - and then he proceeded to give it a fast "test-drive" around the parking lot, after the work was finished. Spilling fluid bottles in my trunk is no way to clinch a sale.

Now for some fast notes from a slow Sunday in terms of news:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer won a first-place award from the Georgia Press Association for investigative reporting. This is sure to stun some skeptics -- the ones who think the only thing the newspaper "investigates" is how to put another big picture of President Obama on page one.

(Feature writer Brad Barnes and cartoonist Don Coker also won Georgia Press Association first-place awards. But no, there was NOT an award for the thinnest Monday edition.)

+ The Atlanta newspaper revealed 1,000 tons of coal ash sludge was shipped to Taylor County from east Tennessee, after a big spill there last December. Before you complain about this, look on the bright side. If that sludge had been shipped to Columbus, it probably would have spilled into the Chattahoochee River by now.

+ The John B. Amos Cancer Center had its annual cancer survivors' luncheon at the Trade Center - one day after the Tidwell Cancer Treatment Center held one in the same place. I'm admittedly not a doctor, but I suppose dividing "cancer cell groups" like this is a more effective approach.

+ The rain-delayed Arts in the Park festival finally was held in Weracoba Park. One of these years, someone will sell colorful decorative umbrellas at this event and make a killing....

+ The Aflac car had its best finish of the NASCAR season, placing second at the Pocono 500 in Pennsylvania. Driver Carl Edwards barely made it to the finish line, by NOT making a late pit stop and risking running out of fuel. At least Edwards didn't have to run to the line, like he did at Talladega.

+ Instant Message to the Orlando and Los Angeles Lakers basketball teams: Ugh - 15-15 at the end of the first quarter?! Was that some kind of strange tribute to Roger Federer winning the French Open?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 539 (- 24, 4.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

7 JUN 09: Wine or Dine

The idea sounded so absurd, I laughed when I heard it. There's a way to get bugs out of your kitchen -- by using wine?! And it does NOT involve crushing them with bottles?!

But it was no joke. The "Consumer Watch" during the evening news the other night suggested using wine to get rid of roaches. "They'll drink the wine, get drunk and fall in," I was told. Sometimes I think the Chattahoochee Promenade works the same way on weekends....

To borrow the old Consumer Watch phrase, "Does it work?" It definitely was worth a try -- especially since the report emphasized "cheap wine." That happens to be all I have, and.... well, let me explain. It's not THAT cheap. Not like the old rhyme: "What's the word? Thunderbird! What's the price? Fifty cents twice."

I have two ~~half-guzzled~~ half-full bottles of wine in my kitchen. One is in the refrigerator, because the label recommends drinking it chilled. The other is in a nice glass flask on a counter. But I hardly ever drink from either one. My idea of "hitting the bubbly" is a 20-ounce bottle of diet cola.

Believe it or not, I bought the two bottles of wine for church events. The first time I tasted alcohol was at a church dinner-dance in Oklahoma, when I was 24. The denomination had to show me from the Bible that drinking is OK - and without spiking my soft drink first.

But anyway: I tried the "cheap wine" experiment this past week. I pulled out a saucer from the cabinet, and poured a little wine from the flask into it - and oh yes, I did this during breakfast. Please don't start twisted stories about your blogger opening liquor bottles at 6:15 in the morning....

The wine saucer was placed on the kitchen floor, next to the trash can where roaches love to gather. The aroma of the wine brought a crowd of bugs out within seconds - but thankfully, the back door was sealed well enough that neighbors didn't come knocking.

I couldn't stick around in the kitchen to watch this experiment. I showered, dressed and went to work. When I came home in the early afternoon, the wine still was there - but none of the roaches were. They were gone from the trash can. Yet none of them were "in the drink," either. So maybe they were sleeping off a sunrise hangover.

The roaches in my house tend to be night-owls - but they didn't return to the kitchen trash can that evening, either. So yes, it appears wine in a tray can keep bugs away. But then again, maybe my roaches are members of a different W.C.T.U. - the Waterbug-Cockroach Temperance Union.

After a couple of days, the wine in the saucer evaporated. A few roaches have returned to the kitchen trash can since then, but not that many. So now I'm thinking about expanding this experiment to other parts of the kitchen. If Jehovah's Witnesses will kindly stay away from the door for a few weeks, so they don't get the wrong idea....

By the way, you don't need wine to make a roach as drunk as a skunk. All you need is.... hey, wait a minute! Do skunks really get drunk? Do they need "cheap wine" to do it? Or are their tastes a bit higher, and they want cognac?

But I digress: I've found small roaches can get drunk and die in glasses of orange juice. A few drops at the bottom are all it takes - so maybe the key is to overload them with vitamin C.

SONG OF THE DAY: After we poured out the wine at breakfast time, we stepped into the shower - and a song about liquor came into our head. I should have called WSTH-FM "Rooster 106" on the spot, but I didn't.

Now for more music, and even a little more talk, from the weekend news:

+ Federal Judge Clay Land reduced the bond for accused attorney Mark Shelnutt from $50,000 to $10,000. Many people were relieved to hear this - especially the leaders of Shelnutt's church, who don't have to revise the budget for awhile.

+ The Tidwell Cancer Treatment Center marked Cancer Survivors Day with a luncheon at the Trade Center. Guests showed up in western attire - but I hope the cowboy singers on stage were smart enough to avoid "El Paso." After all, a couple of people die in that one.

+ Country singer Jake Owen performed before a full house at the Phenix City Amphitheatre. I jogged on the Columbus Riverwalk during the concert, and found people on that side sitting and listening. One man even yelled words of encouragement across the river - perhaps hoping for a song about poverty and unemployment, to go along with his not having a ticket.

(I didn't realize Jake Owen has a reputation has the most eligible bachelor in country music. They don't need an online dating service in Nashville to pair him with Carrie Underwood - simply a good record producer.)

+ The Citizen of East Alabama reported WKCN "Kissin 99.3" plans to begin live streaming video on Cable TV of East Alabama. Not simply audio - video. Now we'll really know if Bear O'Brian drinks Piggly Wiggly orange juice during the morning.

+ Two prison escapees from Alabama were captured, after a standoff at a ranch in North Dakota. Obviously these criminals were desperate - but when you stop in North Dakota, that seems incredibly desperate.

+ Instant Message to the downtown Burger King: I'm shocked - SHOCKED! You had four TV sets on when I stopped for dinner Saturday night. They showed everything from Dr. Drew Pensky to the U.S.-Honduras soccer match - but NONE had the fifth game of the N.H.L. finals?! Don't you want to encourage customers to enjoy ice-cold shakes?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 563 (- 16, 2.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, June 05, 2009

5 JUN 09: Darr to be Different

So where has Ralph Johnson gone, anyway? He seems to have disappeared, since giving up his badge as Muscogee County Sheriff. I haven't heard of Johnson helping in recruiting new law officers - so maybe he's still trying gamely to make friends with African-American ministers.

John Darr has been on the job as Muscogee County Sheriff about six months, and he talked about the job at length Thursday. Darr told WLTZ a main goal has been to improve the public image of the Sheriff's Department. But so far, he has NOT taken the approach of Marshal Greg Countryman - you know, by purchasing new uniforms.

John Darr says one new requirement for Muscogee County Sheriff's officers is to make "personal contact" with someone in the community everyday. Uhhhh - isn't this the same requirement certain women used to have on Victory Drive?

By "personal contact," Sheriff John Darr means deputies are meeting people and saying how-do-you-do. The former sheriff was accused of encouraging this in a wrong way - by having deputies show up at churches on Sunday mornings with arrest warrants.

The Sheriff says the Muscogee County Jail is about 60 inmates above capacity. John Darr notes that's down from six months ago. But those 100 new police officers will be glad to turn things around, in the next few months.

Sheriff John Darr indicated the county jail would be less crowded if the state of Georgia took in more inmates. Trouble is, so many potential holding facilities in Columbus keep being taken by new businesses....

One thing Sheriff John Darr still wants to improve is the deputy training division. Can you really blame him? Columbus Police officers probably are going further than deputies in those "torch runs."

John Darr is in a situation probably no other Muscogee County Sheriff has ever faced - as an opponent in the next election already has announced for the job, and is critiquing Darr's moves online. Someday Mark LaJoye ought to publicly thank Hurtsboro's Robert Schweiger for giving him this idea....

Mark LaJoye's web site declares Sheriff John Darr guilty of "the same classic mistakes" of former Sheriff Ralph Johnson. He says Darr has fired some staff members without cause, while "putting his favorite buddies in job positions...." Darr may get along with District Attorney Julia Slater more than we thought.

Mark LaJoye is even dropping hints of a second challenger for Sheriff John Darr in the next election. LaJoye apparently has heard rumors Marshal Greg Countryman will challenge Darr in the 2012 Democratic primary. Darr has about three years to counter that - starting with the formation of a Junior Sheriff's program.

BLOG UPDATE: The Thursday evening news revealed the city of Columbus wants to use $5.5 million in federal stimulus money for the new NCR plant. If it's not approved, the city might wind up spending $7 million - and the new entrance to the Government Center might have to settle for a carpet, instead of a polished hardwood floor.

Becca Hardin with the Columbus Chamber of Commerce tried to answer the complaints from Ohio lawmakers about the NCR move. She told WRBL the ATM production jobs are "brand new jobs," NOT being moved from another city. If Columbus wanted some old jobs, the city would be trying to move sock mills here from China.

The Columbus Career Center reported more than 500 people already have applied to work at the new Columbus NCR plant. Why, they're lining up for ATM jobs like ATM users on Broadway on a weekend.

Let's see what else seemed interesting on a cool June day....

+ A day of showers and storms left about two inches of rain at the Columbus Airport, and four inches in midtown. The result was flash flooding at Lakebottom Park - and organizers of Sunday's rain-delayed "Arts in the Park" wondering if they should have waited until mid-August.

+ TV reports indicated some Michelin tire employees in Opelika are grumbling, because the plant flags are at half-staff. The flags were lowered to remember three corporate employees who died in the Air France crash. Someone should remind the Opelika workers that when their plant closes in the fall, the flags will be lowered for good.

+ Brad Huskisson was named Columbus State University's permanent softball coach. Huskisson spent more than a year as an "interim" coach - which makes the Muscogee County School Board's hunt for a new superintendent look downright speedy.

+ The Atlanta baseball game against the Chicago Cubs was rained out -- but a bigger story was the release of veteran pitcher Tom Glavine. Former teammate John Smoltz accused the Atlanta management of cutting Glavine to save money. Huh?! Isn't Smoltz a rumored a Republican candidate for public office, once he quits baseball -- which means he'll want to do the very same thing?

+ Instant Message to Lil Kim's Cove on Fourth Street: Thanks for the nice new gift card, which I won for finishing second on Texas Hold 'em Night. But really now - does no one on your staff know how to spell poker? Or is this a hint that I should order off the menu next week?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 579 (+ 12, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

4 JUN 09: The Return of the Rat

He admits he's made mistakes. He admits he didn't spend enough time listening in the past. Yet he says he now knows better, and wants the public to give him another chance. If you didn't know better Wednesday, you might have confused Roy Barnes with the husband on that "Jon and Kate" reality show.

Former Georgia Governor Roy Barnes ended weeks of speculation, by confirming he'll run for the seat again in 2010. We know he'll run as a Democrat - but no one apparently asked him what state flag he'll carry.

If you're relatively new to Georgia, Roy Barnes was the governor who pushed through a change of the state flag in 2001. It happened after a closed-door session with Rep. Calvin Smyre - so I think Barnes's announcement means we again won't see Thurbert Baker campaign very much in Columbus.

(You may recall that 2001 flag had several small ones at the bottom - which led me to declare it "Six Flags Over Georgia," and wonder if it was a subtle ploy to promote the amusement park.)

Roy Barnes won the Governor's race in 1998, but lost a re-election bid in 2002. Some people say the tide turned when Sonny Perdue brought up the change away from the state flag with the Confederate battle emblem. Yet you'll notice Governor Perdue never has even worn that flag as a lapel pin.

Roy Barnes received a prestigious prize after losing that election - the "Profile in Courage" award from the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library. Georgia Republicans probably would respond by saying if Barnes had any courage, he would have attempted a 2006 rematch with Sonny Perdue.

Roy Barnes told supporters in Cobb County Wednesday he's learned some lessons from that "one-and-done" term. One mistake he mentioned was having an "aggressive agenda." If that was a mistake for Barnes, Republicans will have a cakewalk to the White House in 2012.

But some political scholars believe Roy Barnes was brought down by more than a flag in 2002. There was Sonny Perdue's pioneering "viral video," portraying Barnes as a giant "King Rat." He was doing rats long before those piano-playing cats.

A bit of that "King Roy" rat already has surfaced, in a video on the web site of Republican gubernatorial candidate Karen Handel. The ad declares the Georgia Secretary of State is "stronger than an ox." So it's nice to see this campaign will be on a higher plane - or at least higher up the food chain.

Asked about the critics Wednesday, Roy Barnes wondered why candidates for Georgia Governor are campaigning with name-calling instead of vision and ideas. C'mon, Mr. Barnes - haven't you noticed pro wrestling draws more viewers on cable TV than C-SPAN?

Wednesday's announcement by Roy Barnes means there already are at least 11 candidates in the Georgia Governor's race. Four are Democrats. Six are Republicans. One is Libertarian. And that seems to leave the Green Party nomination wide-open for Cynthia McKinney.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: The big economic news we mentioned here Wednesday made one reader stop and reflect....

While Columbus is celebrating the addition of 800 jobs with relocation of NCR to Columbus we must remember those 800 job losses in Ohio...Hats off to this company for not going to Mexico or China..Perhaps Char Broil should sit up and take notice...

Reports from Dayton, Ohio suggest a few NCR employees might be offered the opportunity to move to Georgia. I hope this isn't based on some "Redneck Games" event, such as grits-eating.

A different issue arose about the NCR move Wednesday. Mayor Jim Wetherington admitted he's asked the Obama administration for permission to use federal stimulus money for the new ATM plant. For some reason, the mayor revealed this to the Columbus Dispatch - a newspaper in Ohio. Please don't tell me he got his Columbus cities mixed-up....

Mayor Wetherington says the city of Columbus has $1.5 million set aside, for improving the old Panasonic battery plant. But he wants to use federal stimulus money to build another large building nearby. Well, why stop there? Let's construct that building so it can double as the long-delayed natatorium.

Mayor Wetherington told the Columbus Dispatch he "wouldn't have a problem" using federal stimulus money to bring jobs to Columbus from Dayton. But he admitted other people might disagree -- and sure enough, politicians in Ohio do. They're wondering why a "law-and-order" mayor would support the grand theft of hundreds of jobs.

Another reader sent a separate e-mail about the topic of our current Big Blog Question - apparently taking issue with the argument that the Phenix City Council's big raise was kept secret:

The Citizen of East Alabama has had several stories about the Phenix City Council increasing its pay. The first ones appeared in January when the legal notice was published by Rep. Lesley Vance. There have also been Op/Ed pieces in that newspaper in opposition of the increase. People in Phenix City are apathtic when it comes to politics and politicians until they become an embarassment to the community. Maybe the recent action by the council will be a stomp to the toes of the people of Phenix City that starts making them pay attention to what their elected officials are doing with their money. Maybe the people of Phenix City will now care about what is going on and take action to let these politicans know how they feel. My guess would be that the people will not do a thing. Welcome to Phenix City where the people are sipping the kool aid by the gallon. "A-P-A-T-H-Y, apathy, apathy is our cry."

I was agreeing with practically every word of this message, until "sipping the kool aid" stopped me. C'mon now -- this is Alabama! It's either sweet tea or
Budweiser.

By the way, Phenix City Council may have found a way to pay for its big raise Wednesday. How else do you explain a slower speed limit on Broad Street, in front of police headquarters?

Now let's make a slow procession through other Wednesday headlines....

+ Columbus attorney Mark Shelnutt pleased NOT guilty in federal court to the 40 counts against him. He's free on $50,000 bond, and is scheduled for trial right after Labor Day - so go to The Loft on Wednesday nights and get Shelnutt's autograph while you can.

(Mark Shelnutt's attorney had little to say outside the courthouse. He told reporters he won't "try the case in the media." And why should he in 2009 - now that he can use Facebook?)

+ A Columbus law officer had to direct traffic on Wynnton Road, because so many drivers showed up at Sonic for free root beer floats. Somewhere inside the restaurant, the manager must have been wondering when Oprah Winfrey mentioned the giveaway.

+ Georgia's U.S. Senators announced a federal grant of nearly three million dollars to upgrade the Columbus Airport. Trouble is, none of the airport executives or Airport Commission members apparently were ready to talk about it. This is what happens when you only visit the Transportation Department, in the executive branch.

+ The Columbus Woodbats won their first-ever game in the Great South League, knocking over Newnan 7-3. The team has put small sponsor signs in front of the brick wall at Golden Park. As if the giant ads above the brick wall aren't good enough?! Or do those small signs have protective padding for outfielders?

+ Instant Message to Cameron Napier: How did Wednesday's birthday party go? You know, the one you had for Jefferson Davis at the "First White house of the Confederacy" in Montgomery? Did a bigger crowd show up than you mentioned on Troy Public Radio the other day -- the residents you said "haven't been since eighth-grade history class"?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 567 (+ 27, 5.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

3 JUN 09: Tellers Tell the Tale

Ahhhhh - now I get it. When someone stole that automated teller on Whitesville Road a couple of weeks ago, it was symbolism. Columbus just stole hundreds or thousands more, from a city in Ohio....

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue announced Tuesday Columbus will gain nearly 900 new jobs over five years, from a new NCR plant making automated tellers. Working at a place like this would have some advantages. For one thing, the change machines in the break room never should break down.

The Columbus Chamber of Commerce calls NCR plant the largest job start-up in city history. That apparently means LaGrange and West Point now can claim the Kia plant all to themselves.

While automated tellers will be made in Columbus, NCR is moving its corporate headquarters to the Atlanta suburb of Duluth. So when you text your friends about this news, tell them we get NCR ATMs, but no HQ.

NCR will take over the building in the Corporate Ridge industrial park where Panasonic Batteries used to be. One evening newscast even showed a street sign for Panasonic Drive. It reminded me a bit of the company's old slogan - only now Panasonic is just slightly BEHIND our time.

A statement from the Columbus Chamber of Commerce says NCR is coming here to make the next wave of automated tellers. For instance, you'll soon be able to make deposits at an ATM without using an envelope. This will be big news for the two percent of bank customers who actually use ATMs to make deposits.

Production of the new automated tellers is expected to begin this October, so NCR will begin taking applications online today. In true ATM tradition, I assume you'll only need to enter a four-digit password....

Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington went to Atlanta, for the NCR announcement by Governor Perdue. He was joined by NCR Chairman and C.E.O. Bill Nuti. I assume back home in Ohio, his last name is being pronounced "nutty."

The Dayton Daily News reports many NCR employees there are "very upset" about the planned move to Georgia. In part, it's because the company never said a shift in the headquarters was coming. And I suspect it's in part because many employees only know about Georgia from watching "Designing Women" and "Carter Country."

A bidding war erupted in the last couple of days to keep NCR from moving its headquarters from Ohio to Georgia. Ohio's governor offered an incentives plan worth $31 million. But the Dayton Daily news reports Georgia offered more than $60 million. So it's a bit like when Ted Turner owned Atlanta's baseball team....

The biggest incentive from Georgia to NCR reportedly is a "megatax" credit, worth more than $56 million. So much for that argument against the Muscogee County school sales tax.

One area where Dayton's loss could be Columbus's gain involves nonprofit organizations. NCR has a history of making big gifts to the United Way and performing arts groups. So if the cash registers at the Springer Opera House suddenly look different, you'll know why.

But some NCR employees say the move from Ohio to Georgia is overdue. Did you know Forbes magazine listed Dayton last year as one of the "fastest-dying cities" in the U.S.? Even one Ohio blogger has claimed Dayton has "no justification for existence." No wonder he writes with a pseudonym....

If you know what the letters NCR mean, you're showing your age. I stumped some people Tuesday by explaining the company was founded in the 19^th century as National Cash Register. At the Government Center and Chamber of Commerce, the initials meant something else Tuesday - Now Columbus is Recovering.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Well, what do you know -- Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer reported on the one-year suspension of Principal Phyllis Jones's teaching certificate. So did the Associated Press. Given what we posted last Friday, do you think I should take this as a compliment? Or should I spend a little money on a public relations firm?

Let's see what else made news on Tuesday....

+ The new Mildred Terry branch library opened on Veterans Parkway. Trouble is, Sunya Walls on WLTZ's "11 @ 11" called it the Mildred TAYLOR library. Wasn't she on the old Andy Griffith Show?

+ The Alabama Public Service Commission voted to reduce Alabama Power rates about two percent, because fuel costs have gone down. Yes, the rates were reduced - so don't give up hope for the Phenix City Council quite yet.

+ The Opelika City Council discussed whether to replace Charter Cable with a city-run cable TV and Internet service. I thought Opelika was a bit more conservative than Auburn - and didn't borrow ideas from the Chinese government about how to handle the Internet.

+ Auburn University began an internal investigation of "Big Cat weekend." The football team may have violated NCAA rules by bringing in potential football players for a party at Toomer's Corner, which featured Aubie the mascot. If only Aubie had taken a summer vacation in Detroit....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: FREE root beer floats at Sonic after 8:00 p.m.... FREE admission for Little Leaguers and parents at the Columbus Woodbats' opening game.... and my T-shirt getting very sweaty, to celebrate today's National Running Day....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 540 (+ 42, 8.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

2 JUN 09: General Apathy

A discussion long ago with my sister-in-law came back to mind Monday evening. She liked to quote a common phrase of the 1970s: "Buy a foreign car and you put ten Americans out of work." To which I would reply: "If I buy a U.S. car, I put ten Japanese people out of work. Does that make it right?"

But as I jogged with that old discussion in mind, I started feeling guilty. My sister-in-law probably was right after all. For one thing, I haven't bought any cars in 15 years - so I'm probably at least ten-percent responsible for the recession.

Yes, I'll make this confession time. I'm partly to blame for Monday's chapter 11 bankruptcy filing by General Motors. I've broken from an unofficial family tradition, and NOT driven primarily G.M. cars and trucks. I didn't even have an urge to stop by Legacy Chevrolet Monday, after Jimmie Johnson won the NASCAR race in Delaware.

Yet look at what's happened, as a result of Monday's bankruptcy filing. As a U.S. taxpayer, I'm now a part-owner of General Motors. And I didn't even have to buy any of that free-falling G.M. stock....

Yes, I know - I really don't own a small piece of General Motors. The U.S. government owns it for me. President Obama and his aides are taking care of that "investment" - which is nice of them, since so many employers don't match 401(k) contributions anymore.

You would think Alabama Senator Richard Shelby would have been happy by Monday's filing. He supported General Motors going into bankruptcy months ago. But now Shelby is calling it a step toward "socialism," because of the large U.S. government stake. Perhaps it's better for carmakers to be quasi-freeloaders, getting big tax incentives from the state.

We already know General Motors plans to phase out Pontiacs -- much as it did a few years ago with the Oldsmobile. My older brother was a loyal Olds driver. But now, of course, that brand is Olds news....

The Jay Auto Group sells Pontiacs, Buicks and Saturns. Yet manager J.G. Stelzenmuller III told the evening news his company remains strong financially. That can happen when you also sell Toyotas.

(Someday I'll understand why someone with a last name like Stelzenmuller doesn't automatically get the rights to sell Volkswagens....)

While there have been some exceptions, my family has driven General Motors cars for as long as I can remember. My late Dad loved his green Chevy pickup truck -- the one with the stick shift that broke in his hand, as he drove home on a Monday night in December. My youthful rebellion against keeping Christmas could have been timed better.

My late mother seemed fond of Chevrolets as well. She had a bright red Nova during my high school years - and it was an attention-getter on the days I was allowed to drive it to school. If I wasn't so busy with extracurricular activities, that Nova might have gained me a few dates.

I mentioned last year that the first car I owned was a 1966 Impala, which my older brother sold me for 500 dollars [19 Oct 08]. But that made younger brother me the target of a few jokes - such as the big steering wheel, which relatives politely compared to a "circus wagon."

Beyond that, the only General Motors car I've owned was one I inherited when my mother died. It suited me well for six years, and was the car I used to move to Georgia - but then someone flew downhill at a stop light in 1990 and rear-ended it. The Chevy was totaled - and the only quality time I've spent in a "Chevy" since then was that old Tex-Mex restaurant near Peachtree Mall.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: We were not at all surprised to find another letter from Phenix City's mysterious "13^th Street Businessperson" in our postal mail Monday. The topic didn't surprise us, either....

After watching the news Friday May 29 I am left shocked and speechless. Our City Charter assigns these elected officials "part time" duties. The Charter calls on the City Manager to oversee the day to day duties for management of city affairs. These five individuals, of which none hold college degrees and one who supposedly doesn't have a high school diploma do not work or hold any other employment. These people should not be "hanging around city hall" all day. The City Manager should be facilitating such functions. This represents an indictment or inquiry of his actual abilities. How much do the Councilmembers in the city of Columbus make? Considering recent actions of the City Council of Phenix City I would say the city is in a serious state of peril. Recall should be initiated. This city is at its lowest ebb since "the clean-up." The shocking thing about this is that local newspapers have done nothing to make the citizens aware. Maybe with these increased compensations qualified and educated individuals will offer. May God bless and be wiyh the poor people of Phenix City.

Maybe some of these officials will refuse unreasonable request on the people of Phenix City during these challenging times. Let us watch and see.

I'm not sure how this person knows the educational background of the Phenix City Councilors. But really now -- isn't it nice to know they match the city's general population?

The Ledger-Enquirer answered the pay comparison question over the weekend. Columbus Councilors only make $12,000 a year, compared with $21,020 in Phenix City. But remember one key thing - the lower Georgia sales tax on groceries.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION asks you about this writer's suggestion. Should the Phenix City Council be recalled, for voting itself a 133-percent raise? But this writer should keep one thing in mind - if the recall petition comes by his/her business, he/she will probably have to put an actual name on it.

Let's check other notes from a quiet Monday....

+ Columbus again had its hottest day of the year, at 91 degrees F. As predicted, my home air conditioner came on for the first time this season -- but I felt like waving a white flag as I did, in a sign of surrender to Georgia Power.

+ Our best wishes to WLTZ's John Beard (left) -- who had this stunning appearance Monday night, after being largely off the air for several weeks. I'm assuming he's in some sort of cancer treatment. Either that, or he's auditioning to be the substitute host of "The Steve Wilkos Show."

+ An Equal Employment Opportunity Commission employee visited Columbus, to hear complaints at a church. The EEOC representative came to town with Ed DuBose of the Georgia NAACP. One year ago, this would have been unthinkable - and DuBose would have kept a Republican EEOC official as far from Columbus as possible.

+ Former Chief Justice Roy Moore announced he'll run a second time for Governor of Alabama. He already has a campaign web site set up - but something's wrong with the home page. The Ten Commandments are nowhere to be found....

+ Randolph County, Alabama authorities arrested two people and seized more than 40 animals, as part of an alleged dogfighting ring. A co-worker raised a good point about these busts. How come the suspects never train poodles to fight? Is their fur too fluffy, so the fights last too long?

+ Instant Message to the Kansas baseball team: I meant to congratulate you on an amazingly good season. After all, you reached the regional finals at North Carolina - so you did as well as the men's basketball team.

COMING SOON: A business which offers "wine for your 90-foot yacht...."

The number of unique visitors to our blog is up more than 14 percent so far this year! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 498 (+ 22, 4.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, June 01, 2009

1 JUN 09: It's a Double Play

Well, well - I guess Mike Gaymon with the Columbus Chamber of Commerce was right. The recession IS ending early in our area, compared with everyplace else. Executives no longer are ashamed to give themselves big raises....

The Phenix City Council held a special session Friday, and did what critics had feared -- voting itself a big pay raise. WRBL reports the raise takes effect today. So maybe Council members have credit card bills to pay, from that state conference in Huntsville.

As of today, Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter's salary doubles. He'll make about $24,000 per year. Finally employees at Mead Westvaco have a reason to run for mayor -- because they could get a raise.

The Phenix City Mayor's salary might not stop there. A proposal was left on the table at Friday's work session to increase the pay to $35,000. All Sonny Coulter has to do is find a construction crew, to start building The Phenixian.

Before today, the Phenix City Council was paid $9,000 a year. Now the salary is about $21,000. And unlike major league baseball players, the Councilors don't have to pay a portion of that big raise to an agent.

Councilor Arthur Sumbry defended the 133-percent raise by saying it puts Phenix City's pay on the same level as the Russell County Commission. And you thought "keeping up with the Joneses" was supposed to go out of.... oh wait. Russell County has the Reeds and Pughs.

(The Phenix City Council reserves the right to increase its pay again, if the Russell County Commission does it. If a wage war develops between these two bodies, the only available mediator might be the Russell County Coroner - since he is Arthur Sumbry's son.)

Councilor Arthur Sumbry added the previous Phenix City Council also wanted a pay raise. In fact, that group discussed setting the salary for former Mayor Jeff Hardin at $50,000 - so take that, you scoffers! Sonny Coulter is a half-price mayor.

Arthur Sumbry added the pay raise for Phenix City Councilors is the first in more than 20 years. In fact, Sumbry now will be paid more than Columbus Councilors - and hasn't he earned it? After all, the Phenix City Streetscape ended with four lanes of traffic on Broad Street. Broadway still has only two.

Phenix City Councilor Max Wilkes expressed concern that the big raise was taking effect immediately. He wanted it to happen gradually, over three years - as if the last increase in June 2011 still won't be forgotten by most voters in the summer of 2012.

The Phenix City Council's raise was thanks in large part to state Rep. Lesley Vance. He guided a bill through the Alabama Legislature allowing city officials to vote on higher pay. Maybe Vance showed other lawmakers a photocopied picture of Councilor Jimmy Wetzel, with his scraggly beard.

Critics of the big pay raise note Phenix City officials are supposed to work part-time. Nice try - but Alabama state lawmakers are also supposed to be part-timers, and they voted themselves a big raise last year. Besides, doesn't Nick Saban only coach football games about 13 times a year?

Perhaps the critics would have been calmed if an "election clause" had been added to the bill. Federal law says if Congress votes itself a raise, it can't take the extra money until after the next election. Phenix City Councilors didn't even wait for the next weekly sale ad at Publix.

After searching all sorts of news media reports on this raise, one question remains unsettled to me. Where is Phenix City getting the money for this raise -- which totals more than $100,000 for this year? Will the Phenix City police be sharing some of Columbus's bicycles?

Now let's play some news catch-up from the weekend:

+ Columbus had its warmest day of the year so far, with a Sunday high of 90 degrees F. I still haven't turned on my air conditioner this season, but that could change this afternoon. There's no hockey game on TV to cool me off.

+ Millie's Market on South Lumpkin Road held its second annual "Soldier Appreciation Day." Considering how much crime that store has endured in the last year, maybe it's time to go beyond appreciating the soldiers - and start hiring some for security.

+ Scott Ressmeyer of Country's Barbecue returned to Columbus, from a 20-day cross-country motorcycle ride for the Children's Miracle Network. Ressmeyer even spent an evening in Canada - so if some of the barbecue pork tastes different in the months to come, he may have switched to Canadian bacon.

+ Cartersville came from a game down to beat Columbus for the Georgia state AAA baseball title. But how about freshman Kyle Carter hitting three home runs for Columbus in Game 1? They don't call it Cartersville for nothing, do they?

+ The Columbus Lions remained in first place by flooring Florence 37-14. Someone with the Lions dared to bring out the cliche that the team "controls its own destiny." Yeah, right - until the team bus breaks down on a road trip.

+ Instant Message to First Presbyterian Church Pastor Charles Hasty: Thanks for telling me your Pentecost Sunday stole was red. But I confess I might have missed a point in your sermon -- because I was adjusting the tint on my TV set.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.27 a gallon at Petro, Gentian Boulevard and Reese Road.... orange juice for $1.29 a half-gallon at Piggly Wiggly.... and plenty of Alabamians forgetting today is a state holiday for Jefferson Davis's birthday....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Today's post is dedicated to the man we considered our competition in the LaughLine era. May Jay Leno enjoy his summer break, preparing for prime-time - and we'll see if Conan O'Brian is better or worse.)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 476 (Unchanged)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.