Monday, April 04, 2011

4 APR 11: Later For the Party

Didn't Columbus Police hear those campaign statements by the mayor? Don't officers realize all sorts of underutilized land on the south side need to be put to productive use? Can't a nightclub have a "sneak preview," like Macy*s does with one-day sales?

Columbus Police would have none of those arguments - as officers raided a new club on Cusseta Road over the weekend. The owner of the Parlay Lounge was arrested. This reminded of an old children's song - Hinky Clink-y Parlay Vous.

Columbus Police say the owner of the Parlay Lounge operated for two months without proper business licenses. Trina Boykins reportedly applied for them, but didn't have them yet. And I don't think "learner's permits" are allowed in Columbus for nightclubs.

Officers told the Ledger-Enquirer they raided the Parlay Lounge Friday night, because the owner was advertising it as "the hottest new club in C-town." So hot that public safety was called to put it out....

But on top of that, police say Trina Boykins advertised the Parlay Lounge as BYOB. That may violate a 2003 "brown-bagging" ordinance - which strikes me as strange, because Dunkin Donuts puts its baked goods in brown paper bags all the time.

Trina Boykins may have been so anxious to open her lounge that she asked customers to bring their own alcohol. She also reportedly wants to give exposure to Columbus rappers. Drink too much beer, and a rap artist might say what he really feels about law enforcement.

(Of course, if she really was so anxious, she should have set down in one of the lounge chairs and relaxed....)

Officers seized several bottles of alcohol as evidence against Trina Boykins. Now there's some evidence to liven up the next Columbus police auction - two-thirds full bottles of Jack Daniels.

Trina Boykins told the newspaper she still plans to reopen the Parlay Lounge, once she has all her licenses. She admitted she was not surprised by the raid, since "It's Columbus...." In other words, officers in this city are so weird that they enforce laws.

Take a drive down Cusseta Road, and you'll see there truly is plenty of room for new development. But somehow, I don't think a BYOB nightclub is what Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson has in mind. Especially since Memory Lane in MidTown actually sold alcohol, and still went out of business....

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BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Our Original Big Blog Duck Hunt concluded Sunday night. Congratulations to Greg Atkins, a.k.a. "Duck #1" - as he gained more votes than three other candidates over the last two weeks. He shut out his final opponent. And since that other voice happened to be mine, I feel quite humbled right now.

Friday night was the deadline to submit entries in Aflac's "official" search for a new duck voice. The duck wrote on Twitter more than 11,000 people applied - which humbles me even more, since the only way a duck can write anything is with "you talk it types" software I don't have.

A few celebrities may be among the 11,000 duck entries. Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Dhani Jones said publicly he'd submit an audition tape - which should show how desperately football players need employment, since the National Football League locked them out.

The next step in finding a duck voice is by holding casting calls in several cities. Aflac's Twitter feed reports the new voice will be selected by late April, after finalists are posted on Facebook. Shouldn't potential ducks be waddling around Farmville?

So whatever happened to the fired Aflac duck voice? Gilbert Gottfried used his own Twitter feed over the weekend to apologize for "insensitive.... mean.... cruel" jokes - about shoes. Gottfried simply doesn't learn, does he? After all, "Cruel Shoes" was taken by Steve Martin years ago.

Let's flap our wings around the rest of the news landscape....

+ Playboy magazine held a talent search of its own in Auburn, looking for new college students to be "Girls of the S.E.C." It's enough to make some football fans long for the return of tearaway jerseys.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths completed a two-game sweep of Huntsville, to advance in the Southern League playoffs. The Cottonmouths will meet Augusta in the semifinals beginning Friday -- a team with the Coach of the Year, Most Valuable Player and Rookie of the Year. And amazingly, all of those titles are held by different people.

+ The Georgia Dome in Atlanta was packed for WWE's big event of the year, Wrestlemania XXVII. I understand State Senator Josh McKoon was in the crowd - which means we'll probably have a hearing soon on how professional wrestling defrauds hard-working customers into thinking the matches are real sports events.

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