The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

8 SEP 10: Rasmus-tazz

There are days when it's not easy writing a humor blog. This is one of them (scroll down for the reason why) -- but at least I found a little positive news Tuesday. A potential war involving a Columbus-era celebrity apparently has been averted. And it was settled without the Carter Center intervening....

The celebrity in this storm is Colby Rasmus - who went from Phenix City Little League baseball star to the St. Louis Cardinals' outfield in a mere ten years. His body has matured, but some people don't think his attitude and emotions have. They say Rasmus should "grow up" - but they're smart enough NOT to suggest he follow Bobby Cox's example of mouth control.

The storm around Colby Rasmus erupted over the weekend, when St. Louis news reports revealed he demanded a trade earlier this year. He wants to be traded away from a World Series contender?! Has Rasmus been studying old videotapes of Ricky Henderson?

On top of that, the St. Louis reports revealed Colby Rasmus called in his own personal hitting instructor in July. That instructor just happened to be his dad, Russell County High School baseball coach Tony Rasmus - so a trade to Atlanta could save his father a lot of wasted hours in line at airports.

(It turns out the personal hitting lessons by Tony Rasmus actually started during last year's National League playoffs. If they worked for his son in St. Louis, why didn't his Russell County High School team go undefeated last spring?)

One argument between Colby Rasmus and St. Louis manager Tony LaRussa reportedly became so heated that LaRussa threatened to send Rasmus back to the minor leagues. That WOULD be a trade, in a way - swapping airline flights and nice hotels for bus rides and weekend specials at Super 8.

But as we say, the Rasmus-LaRussa Redbird rancor was resolved (seemingly) Tuesday. Tony LaRussa said his relationship with Colby Rasmus is good, and "we've had a lot of great conversations." Who knows - they might have debated whether Caffe Amici is better than Country's Barbecue.

Tony LaRussa says there's no reason to presume Colby Rasmus will be traded before next season. But both manager and player agree that decision is up to the Cardinals' top management. For instance: if St. Louis decided to have a Rasmus "bobblehead doll night," how many fans would try to punch his head completely off?

Several thoughts came to my mind as I considered all these reports. If Colby Rasmus really asked to be traded away from a continual contender in St. Louis, he qualifies for a phrase ESPN has applied to some football players - "diva receiver." Rasmus catches fly balls in the outfield, after all....

And we dare not overlook the possible role of Tony Rasmus in all this. While he's a state champion high school baseball coach, he's also a proud sports dad - perhaps a little too proud. Don't you wonder if he suggested the personal hitting lessons to Colby? And is his real goal to be hired as Cardinals batting coach, so the family eats together every night of the year?

(The current Cardinal hitting instructor is the notorious Mark McGwire - who may spend most of his time telling Colby Rasmus how to get around steroid tests.)

I've read a few message board posts where Tony Rasmus expresses frustration over all the national media attention St. Louis superstar Albert Pujols gets, compared with his son. Asking for a trade doesn't seem to be the right way to turn that around. Colby Rasmus could be the top star in Pittsburgh or Cleveland, but would that really be an improvement?

Colby Rasmus is 24 and became a father last fall -- so isn't it time Tony Rasmus backed away a little? Otherwise, Colby may get a reputation as a grown-up "Daddy's boy." Having your father around all the time for moral support helped Danny Manning bring Kansas a national basketball title, but these are the major leagues....

Let's sail from the Mississippi River back to the Chattahoochee River, and check other Tuesday topics....

+ Fort Benning Sergeant First Class Jack White received the Army's Distinguished Service Cross, for actions in Afghanistan two years ago. Fewer than two dozen military personnel have received that cross in the last decade - and some fundamentalist Christians should notice the Army has yet to hand out any crescents.

+ Auburn University's chapter of the Young Americans for Liberty set up cards on campus, showing the amount of the national debt. Some freshmen probably walked by and presumed that would be the final payment on their student loans.

+ Muscogee County School Board candidate Mark Cantrell held a "Campaign Press Party" on Macon Road. From what I saw on TV, it consisted of supporters waving signs and standing around Cantrell during interviews -- so the "party" apparently was designed to get news reporters to pay attention to him.

(Mark Cantrell planned to hold his press party outside the Muscogee County Public Education Center - but school district officials apparently vetoed it at the last minute, so Cantrell moved across the street. Yes, incumbents on the school board DO have some privileges.)

+ The Atlanta Dream drubbed the New York Liberty 105-93, to advance to the WNBA Finals. The final-round series with Seattle will.... what's that? You've never heard of the Atlanta Dream? You didn't know Atlanta had pro women's basketball? Don't worry about that -- only about 9,000 fans showed up at Philips Arena to watch the game.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today have concluded. But you're welcome to read on, for personal thoughts about another Tuesday news item.)

BUT SERIOUSLY: Police believe the recent wave of homicides in Columbus is random. But when the victim is a familiar local name, it becomes shocking. And that happened Tuesday afternoon, when Heath Jackson was found dead outside his Lakebottom home.

Jackson was the morning host on WBOJ-FM "88.5 the Truth" - a Christian radio station. I never met him, but know he was a church worship leader. He was scheduled to be part of a worship night Tuesday at Christ Community Church on Milgen Road.

A Facebook statement posted by WBOJ General Manager Brian Hite says Jackson came upon a burglar at his home. The burglar was armed, and shot Jackson - then Jackson ran him out of the house, before collapsing in the driveway.

From what I heard Tuesday afternoon, Hite was absent from his air shift on WBOJ. Perhaps that was understandable, considering the sudden loss of his Program Director. "Tuesday Night with Teen Advisors" went on as scheduled, but the host had little to say about Jackson's death. Even in a city with the crime problems of Columbus, this may have been too stunning to grasp.

I thought WBOJ had taken all its promotional announcements with Heath Jackson off the air. So it was shocking to hear one Tuesday night, where an announcer jokes about Jackson "wrestling a bear" in exchange for donations -- or even a chicken. What happened on Carter Avenue was far more serious than that.

The burglar who shot Heath Jackson probably had no idea who he is, and didn't really care. If only that criminal had listened to Jackson's station. Hopefully many people did, after hearing of his death -- because "The Truth" kept playing songs which provided comfort, and even some perspective on the day's events. Truly this case shows we live in a "Beautiful Broken World."

I'd already planned to take a break from blogging Thursday -- and the reason involves an event which will fix that world. Some Christians mark the Biblical Feast of Trumpets (Rosh Hashanah in the Jewish tradition) to celebrate the coming return of Jesus to this earth. May Tuesday's death remind many in Columbus about what the prayer "Thy Kingdom come" really means.

The Blog of Columbus had nearly 25,000 unique visitors in the first half of 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

7 SEP 10: Just to Be Fair

Having grown up in the Plains States, I'm stunned by the relative lack of old-fashioned county fairs in this part of the country. How else are grade-school students supposed to win blue ribbons for watercolor painting? Or grandmothers, for baking the best apple pie? And how else are you supposed to pick up the latest literature from the John Birch Society?

One local fair came out of a long hibernation Monday. The Labor Day fair returned to the grounds of the old Russell County courthouse in Seale. And due to the recent widening of U.S. 431, that means a crowd of people finally returned to the courthouse as well.

If you only moved to the Columbus area recently, you may not know about the Seale fair. In fact, you might have read the phrase "Seale fair" and thought it referred to Heidi Klum and her children....

But anyway: the Labor Day tradition in Seale faded away 11 years ago. Members of the Russell County Historic Commission explained Monday older members weren't up to keeping it going. And let's be honest -- when you get up in years, all sorts of things become fair-ly difficult.

It apparently took the addition of new blood to the Russell County Historic Commission to bring the fair back to life. Commission member Larry Laney told WTVM Monday's event featured everything from funnel cakes and children's slides to 15 antique cars. Since Laney also is the Russell County School Board President, I thought he also might display antique superintendents.

The Russell County Historic Commission oversees the Labor Day fair because it's a fund-raising event for the old Seale courthouse. This year's goal was to raise $100,000, to install an elevator. But I thought this was a "historic" courthouse. You don't hear anyone demanding wheelchair ramps for the buildings at Westville.

Larry Laney says a new elevator will make things easier for visitors to the old Russell County courthouse. But how many visitors does it have anymore? It used to stand along U.S. 431, but the widening project moved the highway well to the west. Tourists have to seek out the Seale courthouse now - and I suspect Fort Mitchell is more likely to have gift shops open first.

(Besides, what does the Historic Commission plan to do about Russell County's other old courthouse? You know - the one atop the hill in downtown Phenix City, which had leaky roofs for months.)

If you missed Monday's fair in Seale, tickets go on sale today for the biggest one in this area. The Greater Columbus Fair opens in South Commons two weeks from tonight. And remember: this year, it will NOT be in HD - as in hot dogs from the Exchange Club.

Did you know there's a "Miss Greater Columbus Fair?" Somehow I missed that beauty queen all these years - along with the "Little Miss" competition for children. They'll have a pageant to fill those titles during the fair this year. Men will have to settle for impressing their sweethearts, by throwing baseballs at milk cans.

-> Our recent poker tournaments have been challenging, in ways other than the game. Read about them at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Monday's update on our "beggar's log" brought back memories for one reader....

A friend and I saw a man with a sign he was hungary near Logan's on Manchester Expressway.....As the red light caught us my friend opened the window and called him over and gave him some money,He said"God bless you,and I really am hungary."...The light changed and we pulled away...My friend said the guy worked with him and was a good worker..He was a mentally challenged man who made the best of his life .. So,some people begging have known a different life style. We looked back and he was headed to the Waffle House...My first question was,where was his case worker?

My second one was ,where was his family?

It's one thing to offer assistance to people you know. Several friends have done that for me over the years, and I'm very thankful for their generosity. It's the beggars I don't know which keep me on my guard -- especially if their car that's "low on gas" is so far away you can't possibly drive them to it.

We're going to hold another e-mail about beggars for this weekend. In the meantime, a larger appeal for money tops our Monday news summary....

+ WRBL's local segment of the Jerry Lewis telethon raised more than $206,000 to fight muscular dystrophy. The final total on the screen was down 15 percent from two years ago [2 Sep 08]. Did people "fill the boot" this year with dollar bills, or old pennies?

(While some TV stations began showing the telethon Sunday night, WRBL didn't begin this year until 9:00 a.m. ET. More people must be ordering products from late-night infomercials than I thought.)

+ WXTX changed its lineup for the new fall TV season - and in a bold move, Judge Judy has been moved to 6:00 p.m. ET. She seems to settle cases a lot faster than District Attorney Julia Slater does on the evening news....

+ Two men escaped from the Marion County Jail, but were recaptured quickly. Corey Lyles now stands accused of breaking out of the jail twice in three months. Someone needs to explain to him how Georgia's "two strikes, you're out" policy really works.

+ WLTZ showed what could be the largest watermelon ever grown in Alabama. The Morgan County melon weighs 210 pounds, and is 41 inches long -- long enough to barely fit horizontally inside the back of a pickup truck. In other words, it might feed the Alabama defensive line for one meal.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 545 (+ 32, 6.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, September 06, 2010

6 SEP 10: No Labor - Any Love?

Happy Labor Day to you. I've had to work many times on this day - explaining to friends, "News takes no holidays." This year, I suspect many people will be working on this day. They'll be at computers sending out resumes, hoping today's date will impress employers....

BLOGGER BEGGARS #5-6: "How are you doing?" said the man sitting on the grass one recent Friday afternoon. I was walking toward home on Fifth Street, in front of Fourth Street Baptist Church. The man could have sat at a park bench one block away - but perhaps he was a serious nature lover.

I said hello to the man, somewhat expecting what was coming next. "Do you have any change?" He sat at a METRA bus stop. But if he was hoping for passers-by to pay his fare, he could have taken a more orthodox approach. A Circle K store was only one block away - although other beggars might have claimed the turf first.

"I don't have any money on me," I told the man. That was the truth - and it was by design. I live close enough to the Mildred Terry Branch Library that I occasionally walk to it. But while I take a library card, I don't take cash unless the situation requires it. I know the neighborhood - and as they might sing on "Sesame Street," a beggar is a person in my neighborhood.

My answer didn't stop the beggar. "Do you need any company?" Huh?! Who was this man - a freelance guidance counselor?

The man explained he was willing to come visit me and talk - "whatever you want to talk about." As if I have no neighbors available for doing that?! One of them probably will talk at the top of his lungs about college football every Monday morning for the next three months - waking me up in the process.

What would I talk about with this total stranger - blogging? After several seconds of quiet thought, I offered an answer: "Do you want to have a regular Bible study?" At least I made it a question. A woman phoned me at random earlier this year, trying to start an all-day camp meeting [13 Mar].

That prompted the beggar to ask where I attend worship services. When I told him, the questioning changed. "Would your pastor be willing to help pay my rent?" I could have answered with one of my pastor's regular lines - "Charity begins at home." If you're not at home in his congregation, you'll probably have to wait.

The man said he lives in the Crystal Valley mobile home park. I met him before I learned online that more than a dozen registered sex offenders live there. Thankfully, I wear a shirt every time I walk outside....

This beggar had traveled across Columbus from the Crystal Valley mobile home park to the Historic District - yet he wasn't sure when the bus would come to take him home. What could have brought him to Fifth Street, perhaps for the first time? He didn't look like a sweaty construction worker on the new ice rink. But the probation office was about one block away.

"I wonder how much that house costs," the man said pointing to a home behind me.

I didn't even bother looking at it. "How can you afford to buy a house, when you can't pay your rent?" His question smelled like an attempt to distract me. Either that, or he was buying time to figure out something else to "borrow" - and I don't think I even wore socks with my sneakers.

The man's small talk finally ran out, and I went on walking home. I walked with nothing, expecting something. And in this case, something happened - making it worth the trouble to have nothing.

That case occurred a few weeks ago - but my most recent encounter with a beggar occurred last Friday around lunchtime. "Homeless, hungry, God bless" said the little cardboard sign held by a man along Airport Thruway. He faced traffic leaving Wal-Mart. He must not realize nonprofit groups often have tables right outside the door for these things.

This man also may not have realized he made things awkward for people who wanted to help him. He stood on the grass on the passenger's side of the exit lanes. Perhaps he hoped for sympathy from wives, whose husbands were behind the wheel. But doesn't that depend on which spouse has more of their stuff in the trunk?

The traffic light for turning right onto Airport Thruway is one of those "no right on red" lights. So when I was stopped there near the beggar, I knew I had to act fast. Step one: turn off the engine and turn on the emergency flashers. Make other drivers think I'm as forlorn as the man along the roadside.

Step two: get out of the car and run to where the beggar's standing. I hadn't seen his cardboard sign very well, and he had to unfold it for me. It's hard to solve the "homeless" part at 11:45 a.m. Shelters don't open for the evening before 4:00 p.m. - much less rooms at the Doubletree Hotel down the street.

Step three: tell the beggar, "I have food in the trunk." Then run to open the trunk and get out one of the specially-prepared "beggar bags." C'mon now - do you really think I should have given him one of the plastic bags full of groceries I'd purchased from Wal-Mart moments before?

Step four: give the bag to the beggar - after first making sure he's not diabetic. I learned my lesson from earlier in the summer [10 Jun], and now carry a special bag with a jar of tomato soup inside. Yes, I made sure that bag also is kosher....

Step five: once the beggar says thanks to me (and he did), I hurry back to the car and restart the engine to make the right turn. The traffic light did NOT change to green while I did all this -- so maybe I have a future on a NASCAR pit crew.

Whether walking or driving home, the take-home lesson is that it's always good in Columbus to prepare for begging situations. Sometimes that means carrying something extra to help people. But sometimes it also means going without -- to see if the person claiming to have nothing at least is carrying a little compassion.

The holiday weekend headlines seem to be dominated by sports items....

+ Callaway Gardens held its 30^th annual triathlon. Contestants swam, rode a bike and ran - yet for some reason, none of them also were asked to help blow up hot air balloons.

+ Coach Gene Chizik declared on "Auburn Football Review" about the victory over Arkansas State: "Wins are hard to come by...." Sometimes Chizik must think he's still at Iowa State.

+ WRBL presented "The Nick Saban Show" after the Auburn highlights show. In all my years in Columbus, I can't recall a TV station airing the Alabama football highlights program before now. Perhaps it only happens after the Crimson Tide wins national championships.

+ Tony Stewart outdrove Carl Edwards by 1.3 seconds to win the NASCAR race at Atlanta Motor Speedway. No Columbus radio station broadcast the race - as if they all get kickbacks, when local fans sign up online for NASCAR TrackPass.

+ Instant Message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: You're on to something there - by saying the Middle East needs "new solutions to old problems." If the old solutions had worked, I doubt the old problems still would be around.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 513 (- 37, 6.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

5 SEP 10: No Count, No Count

"Who are you rooting for today?" my next-door neighbor asked as I stepped outside for a Saturday morning walk. It was clear from his T-shirt he was rooting for Georgia - but that was no surprise. He brought up the Bulldogs' big win over Kansas in women's soccer a couple of times during the week. Shame on me for bringing up my road trip in the first place....

But on Saturday mornings, I don't normally have sports on my mind. So I had to think about the neighbor's question, before answering. "The games this weekend don't really thrill me." And I'm apparently not the only one who thought that way. When none of the men at the worship service bring up college football, that's noticeable.

I explained to my neighbor all the regional college football match-ups looked so lopsided, they seemed like preseason games. Bring a weak team to your stadium, fill the bleachers for a "home opener" and send the fans home happy with a blowout win. Some might say that's the real reason why Carver High School opens the season against Spencer.

Saturday's opening weekend of college football mostly confirmed my thinking. For instance, Georgia won a laugher over Louisiana-Lafayette 55-7. The visitors left town with a nice paycheck, thanks to the big crowd in Athens. Georgia probably will get that money back in December, thanks to a big corporation sponsoring a bowl game.

Two people with initials in their names made news at the Georgia game. First, D.J. Jones became part of the radio broadcast crew. Many people noted his Columbus background - but I believe he's the first African-American man to be on the air for Bulldog football. And Jones didn't even have to call games on WOKS radio first....

Then there's A.J. Green - the Georgia wide receiver who was kept out of Saturday's game. There are questions about whether Green attended a party in Florida which was hosted by an agent. They're concerned about the agent - and not whether he drove home from the party drunk?!

You can tell Georgia Coach Mark Richt wasn't concerned much about ~~LA-LA-land~~ Louisiana-Lafayette, based on where he was Friday night. Richt was spotted on the sidelines at the Buford-Carver high school game, talking with Auburn Coach Gene Chizik. S.E.C. Media Days simply have too many reporters now, to allow for coaches to have private chats.

Auburn had things slightly tougher Saturday night, falling behind Arkansas State 6-0 in the first quarter. But the Tigers won 52-26 - as quarterback Cameron Newton proved he's not giving fans the Cam-Shaft.

I stayed with the Auburn Radio Network through halftime, hoping to hear scores of other games. But Paul Ellen only updated Southeastern Conference contests - nothing from around the country. Apparently Ellen received a visit during the off-season from a consultant for the Ledger-Enquirer....

Alabama retained the national championship by silencing San Jose State 48-7. I say college football should work like boxing - and you're the national champion until someone knocks you out. I'm sure J.C. Penney would be happy to sponsor a "title belt" for this.

Georgia Tech had the lowest score of the area's "big four," but still socked South Carolina State 41-7. The visitors play in the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference - and this big loss left the players saying, "ME-AChe."

But what strikes me about all these games is that they weren't much in terms of "games." Georgia Tech actually brought in a team that plays second-division college football. The fact that the Yellow Jackets did this to warm up for my alma mater Kansas next week has nothing to do with it....

(Oh, you're asking how Kansas did? Uhhhh - did I mention I ran three-and-a-half miles non-stop Saturday night? Or that I'm glad my brother turned 60 on a game day LAST September? Or that the first men's basketball game is only 68 days away?)

So there's a part of me which says this weekend's college football games really shouldn't count. Only a few of them nationwide were fair fights between evenly-matched teams. Kentucky dares to start the season against arch-rival Louisville. And I think Mississippi would be very happy to call for a "do-over" - and never see Jacksonville State of Alabama again.

Let's see if anything else is making noise, on a relatively quiet Labor Day weekend:

+ South Commons was busy for two big Friday night events. Fans attending the Buford-Carver football game had to enter on the Port Columbus side. Fans attending the Gucci Mane rap concert had to enter on the Veterans Parkway side. And skateboarders somehow floated in and out, as they usually do.

+ WTVM showed a small plane in the grass at Columbus Airport, after making an emergency landing. A slide like this may be the strangest tribute yet to the Northern Little League All-Stars.

+ Callaway Gardens held its annual hot-air balloon festival. You'd think plenty of political candidates would show up there in an election year - at least to help the balloons get off the ground.

+ Pinson, Alabama held its annual Butterbean Festival, and claimed a world record for a 1,010-pound pot of baked beans. This may sound strange, but the scene reminded me of a pro basketball star of years gone by - Bob "Butterbean" Love.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: The man standing on the wrong side of the road (at least for me)....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 550 (- 57, 9.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, September 03, 2010

3 SEP 10: If Looks Could Kill

Sometimes the things you see can be deceiving. Things which look good can be bad. Things which look bad actually can be good. And those extra-large hamburgers we ate a few weeks ago.... well, they probably depend on whose eyes are looking at them.

A couple of Thursday news items reminded me of the importance of close examinations. Hyundai-Kia announced what seems to be the first recall of cars made at the West Point plant. This looked like the perfect revival of a troubled town near Columbus. But you know what the Better Business Bureau says -- if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

More than 11,000 2011 Kia Sorentos are being recalled because wiring systems for the interior lights were not soldered properly. This is what happens when you have new production workers, who might not read every Korean word properly....

(A short in the wiring could cause some EX model Sorentos to catch fire. And if that happens, customers would assume those letters are shorthand for extinguisher.)

To be fair: the recall also includes nearly 24,000 Kia Souls which were made in Asia. So the West Point workers might not be to blame for the wiring problem. An exact source of trouble can be hard to find with today's cars - even harder than at the Columbus Parks Department.

(Which reminds me - how many candidates in this year's Georgia election are driving Georgia-made Kias? I'd better not hear any of them say they're waiting for a peach-colored Sorento....)

Thursday's recall announcement does NOT mention anyone being burned or injured by the Kia wiring problems. So please, you cynics - do NOT start rumors the Kia name stands for "killed in action."

While the Sorentos are nice-looking cars with hidden flaws, a Harris County woman faced a very different situation. Tori Lassiter says she was told she had counterfeit money - when in reality she did not. The bills simply were old-fashioned "greenbacks." Green, with no other added colors....

Toni Lassiter told WTVM she received the questionable 20-dollar bills when she cashed her paycheck at a store. A restaurant considered them bogus - but Columbus police detectives determined they were real bills from as far back as 1934. People had told me Columbus has lots of "old money," but now we have proof.

I've heard people say you can spot a phony 20-dollar bill by intently studying a real one. But the evening news offered another test: rubbing a bill on something, to see if ink comes off. One article takes issue with the accuracy of that approach -- which means the reporter may have been given counterfeit information.

-> Our recent poker tournaments have been challenging, in ways other than the game. Read about them at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG UPDATE: The Nathan Deal campaign ~~tried to shut up his opponent~~ posted tax return information online Thursday. They go back 29 years, topping the 25 years of returns posted by Roy Barnes's campaign. So now you can compare the "same old" against the "same older."

We did for Nathan Deal's tax records what we did the other day for Roy Barnes. We checked the 1987 return, and found Deal's adjusted gross income was around $102,000. But the campaign website does NOT include supporting schedules, for things such as itemized deductions and farm income - again showing Deal supports less government paperwork.

Meanwhile, the four candidates for Columbus mayor gathered again for another televised forum Thursday night. At least this time, the station which showed the forum mentioned it during the late-night newscast. But no one apparently said a newsworthy soundbite during the hour, so I must not have missed much.

Let's see what else you might have missed, from the Thursday news....

+ Harris County Sheriff Mike Jolley said a car driven by the alleged "Columbus High flasher" was traced to Clayton County. The man doing this had better be careful - because the school softball team is armed with metal bats, and volleyball servers know how to use their fists.

+ Columbus city officials announced the "Fort Benning gateway" interchange at Interstate 185 and Victory Drive will receive almost $900,000 in federal stimulus money. How many more tanks do they need to buy, to park along the side of the highway?

+ United Way of the Chattahoochee Valley held what President Scott Ferguson called the largest campaign kickoff luncheon in the U.S. About 1,100 people attended the luncheon at the Trade Center - which might have made it the least crowded day of the year to dine at Minnie's Uptown Restaurant down the street.

(This year's local United Way goal is $6.5 million - which actually is less than the amount raised last year. They're clearly not budgeting for BRAC, and may expect the economic recovery to drop like a brick.)

+ Lamar County lashed Spencer in high school football 32-8. At least this week, Spencer found an opponent which showed a little compassion....

+ Georgia State University launched a new college football program by shutting down Shorter 41-7. Two Columbus TV stations sent their sports reporters to the Georgia Dome for this game - which must mean Georgia State paid their way, because hardly any alumni live around here.

(The announced crowd at the Georgia Dome was 30,237, for second-division college football. By comparison, Atlanta's big-league baseball team drew 24,895 at Turner Field. Sports fans apparently prefer an undefeated team -- even one that's never played a game before.)

+ Instant Message to Chick-Fil-A: Hmmmm - no sandwich giveaway this coming Monday? No special deals this year for wearing college sportswear? You must have given away more spicy chicken sandwiches earlier this year than I realized - and burned a hole in your budget.

SCHEDULED NEXT WEEK: This blog attempts to cash in on all the political spending....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 607 (+ 7, 1.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

2 SEP 10: The Long Hottest Summer

Thursday was a change-of-pace day, in terms of my exercise schedule. Too bad for me -- I missed out on a morning run, on the coolest morning in three months. I might have made it back home without my T-shirt completely soaked....

The morning low in Columbus was 66 degrees F. - nice enough to step outside on the front porch after breakfast for some morning reading. Well, something else had to happen first. Morning dusting - as plastic chairs on the porch can pick up a lot of dirt, when they sit unoccupied for months.

But the afternoon high was 93 - and that meant turning on the home air conditioner for the first time in five days. Highs in the eighties have been a welcome change. And with no one stealing my air conditioner, it's almost like it had a "stay-cation."

The air conditioner has been on a lot this summer -- and the area's best-known meteorologist determined Wednesday there was good reason for it. Kurt Schmitz reports 2010 has been the hottest summer in modern Columbus history. And you should be thankful he declared summer over three weeks early....

People in the weather business count "summer" as the months of June, July and August. During those months, Kurt Schmitz says Columbus had an average temperature of 84.4 degrees. When the evening newscasts run out of their stock annual heat-related stories, you know it's a serious heat wave.

The 2010 heat wave even topped the summer of 1943, when Columbus weather was computed downtown and not at the airport. I'm sure downtown was a hot area in 1943 - but of course, it cooled off in the nineties as stores moved away.

I used to oversee "factoids" for CNN Headline News, so I found Kurt Schmitz's report on summer weather a little confusing. He sometimes refers to the average temperature, then compares it to the "mean" temperature. It turns out they're the same -- and if 85.4 degrees broke a record for the hottest August ever in Columbus, that's pretty mean by any definition.

Kurt Schmitz adds since 1990, Columbus has endured five of its seven hottest summers. Uh-oh -- is that evidence of global warming? Can I do what Derek Kinkade did, and bake cookies in my car more often to keep the kitchen cool?

A man in my church congregation would tell you this summer is absolutely NOT evidence of global warming. He says the whole thing is a hoax. No, he's not a scientist - but I know he's read several of Glenn Beck's books.

Since we've had such a long hot summer, does Georgia Power really need higher electric rates? The Public Service Commission is holding hearings around the state on a proposal to increase bills by an average ten dollars per month. If the P.S.C. approves this, people should pay with ten-dollar bills that have spent days inside pockets of sweaty gym shorts.

Meanwhile, Alabama Power warned Wednesday of an identity theft ploy involving electric bills. As WLTZ put it, "scam artists" are calling customers claiming they're behind in payments and need to disclose credit card numbers. Really now - is this an art? Isn't that a little like calling political promise-making an art?

The Southern Company does NOT ask for your credit card number over the phone - and in fact, Georgia Power won't let you pay bills with credit cards at all. I'm not sure why the electric company has that rule. Columbus Water Works accepts credit cards - perhaps to remind you tap water can be stored in plastic jugs.

Here's hoping you have a comfortable day - and hopefully Wednesday's other news items won't make you hot under the collar:

+ The River City Report revealed at least 17 registered sex offenders live in the Crystal Valley Estates mobile home park. We especially mention this for the benefit of WVRK-FM "Rock 103," as it plans its next bikini contest.

+ Columbus Police reported a flasher has been exposing himself to Columbus High School athletes, even as they travel on buses along Interstate 185. Let's make this clear once and for all - you're only supposed to paint school initials on your body ABOVE the waist.

+ Kia confirmed it will add a second shift in October, to begin production of the Hyundai Santa Fe. I've heard some people say the U.S. doesn't have any manufacturing jobs anymore. So what are the Kia employees in West Point doing - selling each other hamburgers in the parking lot?

+ Huddle House held a job fair for a new Fort Benning restaurant. Yet for some reason, it was held at the Doubletree Hotel on Sidney Simons Boulevard. Has the Huddle House manager on Victory Drive told his bosses about that extended-stay hotel next door?

+ The Salvation Army opened a new thrift store on Manchester Expressway, next to Golden Donuts. If that sweater is a little too big on you, buy it anyway - then get a dozen glazed doughnuts to make it fit right.

+ Columbus Specialty Hospital celebrated the grand opening of an expansion. I didn't realize this hospital leased two floors of The Medical Center. I'd say it operates independently of Columbus Regional - but they probably share the operating rooms.

+ Instant Message to Itha's Beauty Salon on Buena Vista Road: Sorry to bother you again - but a reader noticed your window had the words "No Pet's Allowed" on it. That reader wondered if there are other misspellings. For instance, did you mean "saloon"?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.41 a gallon at Raceway on Victory Drive.... FREE long-distance calls through the end of 2010 if you add the Google Voice phone call app to your computer.... and nightclubs playing "September" by Earth Wind and Fire a lot over the next four weeks....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 600 (+ 37, 6.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

1 SEP 10: Everything Old is News Again

This year's Jim Blanchard Leadership Forum concluded Tuesday. I didn't spend the required 400 dollars to attend -- so if you did, please tell me. How many candidates for Columbus city offices showed up? And how many actually cared enough to take notes on the speakers?

Some people need to hear these lectures on leadership more than others. Georgia gubernatorial candidate Roy Barnes probably would tell you he doesn't. He doesn't need "on the job training" for the office, after all -- especially not from a Republican former first lady.

So Roy Barnes made news in Columbus Tuesday, by eating lunch at a diner. He stopped by the Royal Cafe on 11^th Street - which must have made Republicans laugh. They have a "No Royalty" website opposing Barnes. And I assume by mid-October, the "King Rat" videos will be out of hiding again.

Roy Barnes shook hands with the lunch crowd - then sat at a table with State Rep. Calvin Smyre and Mayor Jim Wetherington. With nine weeks left until Election Day, this is no time for a mixed-race luncheon appearance. You know, as in mixing with the other party in the race.

WRBL asked Roy Barnes about his big issue of the moment in the 2010 Georgia Governor's campaign. If you've seen his TV commercials, you know what that is - how much was your adjusted gross income in 1987?

Roy Barnes explained why he's pointing a finger at Nathan Deal for not releasing 25 years of tax returns. Barnes said because Georgians "have the right to know everything about a candidate from a financial viewpoint." Maybe so - but I noticed Barnes blacked out the Social Security numbers on the returns he posted.

Simply out of curiosity, I called up Roy Barnes's 1987 federal tax return Tuesday night. His "total income" as an attorney was more than $425,000. And when the federal return comes to more than 30 pages with attached statements - well, consider Barnes an attorney who likes to share the wealth.

So what is the, uh, Deal with the Republican nominee and his taxes? An aide to Nathan Deal's campaign said a list of tax returns is being prepared - adding: "Roy Barnes has had 20 years to compile his taxes." Translation: Deal threw his returns in cardboard boxes, and stashed them somewhere in his garage.

But really now - how many voters will make their decision on a Georgia Governor in 2010 based on a tax return from 1990? Shouldn't the state's present budget problems be the top priority? Or are we supposed to add up all the "gross income" figures, and declare the candidate with the most money the winner?

The old phrase about "learning the lessons of history" certainly has some truth to it. But I'm not sure how much you can learn about candidates by reviewing their old tax returns. Unless you're a candidate's church pastor, and you want to know if he or she really tithed....

Meanwhile, did you see the Republican response to the Roy Barnes commercials declaring Nathan Deal "more of the same?" A new ad warns Georgia voters a vote for Barnes would bring back "more of the same" - as in 2001. Isn't it about time this state changed its flag again?

. Back at the Cunningham Center, several of next year's Leadership Forum speakers already have been announced. The headline names are former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Senator Johnny Isakson. One spot is blank at the moment - so if Mike Thurmond beats Isakson in November, there could be a debate rematch.

-> Our recent poker tournaments have been challenging, in ways other than the game. Read about them at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: It's lunch hour, and two men in a Columbus convenience store want something to drink.

"I'm looking for that Five-Hour Energy," one man says.

"There's Six-Hour Power," the other points out.

The female cashier seems unimpressed. "I'd go ahead and fall asleep."

Let's summon the energy to look at a few more news items....

+ Columbus Police reported someone robbed the Pyramid Food Mart on Buena Vista Road, taking $160 worth of Swisher Sweet cigars. Aw, c'mon - who goes into a convenience store to steal cigars? Did undercover detectives respond by heading to One Baby Place at Doctors Hospital?

+ Columbus Council approved the first grant authorized by the city Office of Crime Prevention. The Juvenile Drug Court will receive more than $67,000 - and in this case, I assume the bills will be marked.

(The grant comes a few weeks after an unusually tough editorial by WTVM's Lee Brantley, asking what Crime Prevention Director Seth Brown has done. Brown was offered a chance to respond, but did not. So in this case, he's putting money where his mouth wasn't.)

+ Columbus Council also approved $24,000 for an archeological study of land at Sixth Street and Sixth Avenue. The city's Black Heritage Trail identifies that area as an "Old Slave Cemetery," yet no bodies ever have been found. The big question is whether the study will find 19^th-century slaves - or 21^st-century residents of the Booker T. Washington Apartments.

+ Alabama football coach Nick Saban announced Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram has a knee injury, and will miss this weekend's opener against San Jose State. Saban is applying a lesson he learned with the N.F.L. Miami Dolphins. You protect key players, by holding them out of the final pre-season game.

+ Governor Bob Riley declared Friday "College Colors Day" across Alabama. If you're a Georgia Tech fan and don't wear school colors, then you're.... uh.... well, uh.... I can't really say you're yellow, can I?

+ Instant Message to Itha's Beauty Salon on Buena Vista Road: Did WRBL tell the truth? Is your salon's name really on the poker chips? Do you realize the big poker circuit in Columbus doesn't even have that? Of course, that circuit doesn't require entry fees and a share of the prize money....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 563 (+ 16, 2.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

31 AUG 10: In the First Place

A former U.S. First Lady gave the kickoff speech Monday night, at this year's Jim Blanchard Leadership Forum. Compare that with last year, when the only female speaker was NBC News reporter Norah O'Donnell - and the NBC station didn't even bother interviewing her.

Laura Bush spoke at the Columbus Trade Center's Leadership Forum dinner. This year's event is sold out, and apparently had a waiting list. So if The Cannon Brew Pub had more customers than usual wearing suits, that might explain it....

I'm presuming the former first lady spoke on some aspect of leadership. But I'm not sure exactly what, because the late-night newscasts didn't air any clips from her speech. WRBL only mentioned a reference to a Laura Bush bobble-head doll -- which I guess is a nice alternative for people who didn't want to buy her book in the lobby.

Laura Bush began her Columbus trip by signing copies of her book at Barnes and Noble. It's called "Spoken From the Heart" -- as opposed to Dick Cheney's memoirs, which would be called "Surgery ON the Heart."

Laura Bush arrived at Barnes and Noble to sign autographs at 12:00 noon. But some people lined up outside the store at 4:00 a.m. This shows you a difference between the political parties. Republicans line up before dawn to meet famous political names. Democrats tend to do that when a new gadget from Apple goes on sale.

WTVM spotted a leader of the Muscogee County Young Republicans in the line outside Barnes and Noble. But I can't help wondering if any political candidates showed up. Republicans could have used a quick endorsement soundbite - while Teresa Tomlinson could have attempted to prove she really is nonpartisan.

Laura Bush also reportedly stopped by Dinglewood Pharmacy during the afternoon. WRBL claimed she did NOT eat a scrambled dog, but Secret Service agents with her did. The reason for this should be obvious. The agents didn't know what in the world a scrambled dog is, and had to make sure it's not poisonous.

But back to Monday night's speech: I can remember when Richard Hyatt used to post frequent updates on the Jim Blanchard Leadership Forum on his website. That hasn't happened in a couple of years. Are the forum organizers restricting extensive quotes now? Is there some rule that says fiscally-minded leaders make you buy the DVD?

To be fair: the Columbus State Cunningham Center has a YouTube channel, where you can see several speeches from last year's Leadership Forum. Some young people may gain insight in how to lead. Then all they'll need to do is marry into the right Columbus families.

The Jim Blanchard Leadership Forum continues today. What do you know - one of the speakers is the President of Columbus Bank and Trust, who happens to be Blanchard's son Billy. Smart leaders know how to stay within their expense budgets....

We have much more on Laura Bush ahead - but first, let's check a Monday news summary which seemed to be filled with weekend follow-ups:

+ An online posting claimed several Columbus State University students have been suspended from a dorm, after Sunday's shooting incident in a parking lot. Campus police now say several shots were fired, and one apartment building was placed on lockdown. College students probably wouldn't mind if that lock-in occurred right before finals.

+ Authorities revealed one of the suspects in the "beauty parlor poker" case is Jimmie Hooks III -- the director of the Aaron Cohn Youth Detention Center.
Playing teenagers for cigarettes may have given him good practice for big-time cash games....

(Another suspect in the case is a volunteer coach with the Georgia Blazers basketball team. I'll avoid any comparisons to "Rec-Gate" -- but point out this is what happens when senior centers only offer canasta and bridge.)

+ Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter admitted to WRBL he had knee surgery last January. Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington also required knee treatment this year - so the Fort Benning Commanding General had better be ready to take full control of this area.

+ The Northern All-Stars returned home from the Little League World Series, to a celebration in the Shaw High School gym. Take that, Bobby Howard - and go help Peach Little League improve their program, so you can host a big party for them next August.

(The Northern players signed autographs for hundreds of fans. But Troy Gilliland confessed he didn't sign his entire last name. Even at an early age, some pitchers learn how to take shortcuts.)

+ WTVM reporter Elizabeth White gave birth to her second child. The baby girl was born less than 72 hours after White reported on a stun gun incident at a Chambers County Wal-Mart store. Get the story first, and the powdered milk second....

-> Our recent poker tournaments have been challenging, in ways other than the game. Read about them at our other Blog, "On the Flop!" <-

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: We followed Laura Bush quite a bit, when we wrote LaughLine for a national audience. Here's a sample of it....

1 AUG 00: Monday night's [Republican convention] session was marked by a speech by George W. Bush's wife. Laura Bush used to teach second grade, and she said her husband "spends every night with a teacher." By comparison, President Clinton has spent a lot of nights with students.

(Maybe the teacher should give Mr. Bush some lessons in world affairs?!)

Mrs. Bush reflected on her childhood, saying her father "bought her an education policy." Apparently her Dad was a member of the National Education Association - which spends money all the time for Democrats to do that.

Laura Bush encouraged parents to read to their children, saying television doesn't teach language skills. "It's just background noise," she declared. Then how have so many children learned the bad words on "South Park" and pro wrestling shows?

Mrs. Bush ended by saying she hopes to see a female President someday. Somewhere in Philadelphia or Washington, Elizabeth Dole must have felt like breaking a pencil in two.

22 JAN 01: One pre-inaugural event featured Laura Bush at a salute to U.S. authors. Since she's a Republican, this was a bit surprising. We expected a salute to the publicity agents instead....

Mr. Bush introduced his wife at the salute to authors by saying: "Her love for books is real, her love for children is real, and my love for her is real." Please note the President did not say HE loves books -- and if it's about some other country, we KNOW he doesn't pay much attention to it.

We were surprised to learn former librarian Laura Bush sorts her books at home by the Dewey Decimal System! [True/AOL News Ticker] Some of us were tired of Hillary Rodham Clinton as First Lady - but are we replacing her with a Martha Stewart clone?!?!

26 FEB 01: Former President Bush spent the weekend in Kuwait, joining in the country's celebration of liberation. The current President might have joined his Dad, but Laura Bush couldn't check the maps out from the Presidential Library....

21 MAR 01: First Lady Laura Bush also attended the East Room event. The President remarked his wife ">always makes sure my tie lies straight." [AOL News Ticker] Compare this with President Clinton - who always made sure his lies were tied straight.

(It's a good thing Mrs. Bush is there to straighten out the President's ties. Now if she can straighten out some of the words that come from his mouth....)

21 JAN 02: First Lady Laura Bush will speak today at the Atlanta church which the Martin Luther King family called home. Remember when Mrs. Bush said she'd be a "behind the scenes" first lady, compared with Hillary Rodham Clinton? We're starting to wonder why she's not Secretary of Education....

First Lady Laura Bush marked the [inauguration] anniversary by donating last year's inaugural ball gown to the Smithsonian Institution. Should we read a hidden message into this? Either she's not expecting her husband to win a second term, or she's gaining more weight than we know.

24 JAN 02: First Lady Laura Bush wears contact lenses. And you thought she only became wide-eyed when her husband mispronounced words....

20 MAY 02: First Lady Laura Bush is in the final days of a trip to Europe. It's her first trip overseas without her husband since they entered the White House -- which may explain why we've Vice President Cheney in public more often lately.

The next "Newsweek" magazine claims Laura Bush took SO MANY bags on her European trip that the contents of each bag are kept in a computer. We know about the first lady's love of libraries, but does she have to personally give them away at every stop?

Laura Bush took daughter Jenna with her on the European trip. [True/Inside Edition] Jenna jumped at the chance to go - if only because the legal drinking age in much of Europe is below 21.

22 MAY 02: President Bush begins a trip to Europe, by flying to Berlin. At the same time, Laura Bush ENDS her own 11-day trip to Europe. Isn't this how the rumors started about the Clintons' marriage?

10 SEP 02: First Lady Laura Bush reflects on last September 11, in an interview on today's "CBS Early Show." She says one lesson of that day is for people to think about their families. If you've noticed, twin daughters Jenna and Barbara have been in a LOT less trouble since that day.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 533 (- 38, 6.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, August 30, 2010

30 AUG 10: Dawg Walkover

In a way, the early exit of Columbus Northern from the Little League World Series was good for me. It allowed me to take a long Sunday road trip without feeling guilty about missing something - and without having to search frantically for a portable TV set to watch in the car, while I was driving down the interstate.

College football season started early for me, as I traveled to Athens for a women's soccer game. It was a lovely.... what? What are you saying? Well, most of the world calls soccer "football." Of course, players hit the ball with their heads about as often as U.S. football players actually hit the ball with their feet.

I went to Athens because Georgia was hosting my alma mater, Kansas. The last time Kansas brought a soccer team to this part of the country, the Jayhawks edged Auburn 1-0 in overtime [20 Sep 04]. And the last time I watched a K.U. team play in person, it was the men's basketball team which won a national title [19 Dec 07]. Put me together with another Kansas team, and a new dynasty might start.

The Kansas-Georgia game was played at a complex in Athens that's been dubbed "Soccer City, UGA." I get the feeling it's going to last longer than Columbus's Zoo City U.S.A....

With no traffic delays at all, I arrived 40 minutes before kickoff. Women's soccer games have free admission at Georgia, as they do at Auburn. And the parking lot had plenty of open spaces - which is good, because no homes are nearby to charge ten dollars for space on the front lawn.

The Georgia softball stadium is next door to the soccer grounds - and it was unlocked, allowing me to stroll around the warning track. The stadium managers apparently have connections with Golden Park, because the scoreboard clock showed the wrong time.

Several soccer fields also are near the main stadium. This allowed me to watch Kansas warm up. The Jayhawks looked sharp to me, after a season-opening win Friday over Eastern Kentucky. But then again, maybe players in eastern Kentucky work on soccer skills by kicking tin cans of baked beans.

I didn't realize until I arrived at the game that Georgia actually was hosting a women's soccer doubleheader. The first game was ending, with North Carolina-Greensboro unsettling Utah 1-0. Now that's the Utah team Nick Saban wants to put on his schedule....

About 20 Jayhawk fans joined hundreds of Georgia supporters in the crowd. One of them was a Fayetteville, Georgia dad whose daughter was recruited by Kansas as a goalie. It appeared Kaitlyn Stroud might go to Minnesota, but that school sent a two-line rejection notice by e-mail. And I thought Sarah Jessica Parker had it bad on TV, with that breakup by Post-It note.

The Georgia soccer team took the field with a "Dog walk," much like area football teams have. They did NOT walk past a Bulldog statue under the bleachers which faces midfield. At least I'm assuming that's a statue - and they haven't run out of crypt space for dogs at Sanford Stadium.

So how did the Kansas-Georgia game go? Uhhhhh -- how about all the clouds and rain we had in Columbus over the weekend? Wasn't the weather.... huh? What are you saying again? OK, if you insist:

10:00 IN: Georgia is controlling the early play, winning nearly all the balls in the air. A couple of Jayhawks are acting like they're playing dodgeball.

The Bulldogs gain several early corner kicks - which are marked by the public address system playing a drum roll. Fans in the stands respond by stomping the metal bleachers. If not for that, you might mistake the crowd for library science majors.

15:00 IN: With the game scoreless and play continuing, it's time for the first sponsored "T-shirt toss" of the day. A young man walks in front of the bleachers and throws them - instead of using one of those launchers, which might hurl shirts into the parking lot.

21:00 IN: Georgia's hard work is rewarded, as forward Ashley Miller kicks in the first goal of the game. Coach Steve Holeman replaces her with a substitute a couple of minutes later - almost like it's fourth grade, with every player getting a chance to score.

(Please do not confuse Georgia's soccer coach with the Atlanta Hawks radio announcer. The Bulldogs have Steve Holeman. The Hawks have Steve Holman - and the Hawks have the man much more likely to get upset at officials.)

33^rd MINUTE: Kansas gets a shot on goal. Sadly, it's the first one of the day - while Georgia has about eight. The Bulldogs were well on the way to a perfect game.

36^th MINUTE: Susannah Dennis scores for Georgia, to make it 2-0. Oh Susannah, I want to cry for thee....

The Kansas fans justifiably have very little to say. I try to start a couple of "Rock Chalk" chants without success. One man below me keeps saying, "Come on, girls" - seemingly not realizing this is WOMEN'S soccer at the collegiate level.

HALFTIME: Georgia goes to the clubhouse with a 2-0 lead. The Dogs are dominating - ahead 12-2 on shots and 7-0 in corner kicks. But the foul count is even, so you can't blame even the referee for this.

While Georgia goes to the clubhouse, Kansas players remain at their bench throughout the halftime break. Perhaps there's no room for them, with a four-team doubleheader. Or perhaps it's a "teaching moment" straight out of the Bear Bryant days.

I go to the stadium concession stand at halftime, and find that's where you get to make up for free admission. A small bag of popcorn costs $2.50. A souvenir Georgia cup full of soda costs four dollars. About the only food discount came when the staff looked for the loudest fan, to deliver a pizza.

I return to my seat with a souvenir cup of Diet Coke and a small bag of popcorn, which I actually put on a credit card. I offer my theory to the fellow Jayhawk fans for the halftime score -- Kansas simply isn't used to playing on Eastern Time.

Children get to take the field during the halftime break. A young female goalie was busy during the first half along the sidelines - and seemed to be the only security guard on duty. Even more shocking, Georgia hasn't even planted hedges along the fence.

56^th MINUTE: Georgia's Susannah Dennis pads the lead to 3-0, after a sequence of passes as well-executed as you'd see at the World Cup. At this point, the Bulldogs look like Spain - and my old college might as well be the Faroe Islands.

74:44 IN: A Kansas defender falls to the field with cramps, stopping the game. This puts the Kansas score sheet at cramps 1, corner kicks 0.

80:46 IN: Kansas goalie Kat Liebetrau misses a couple of high balls in her direction, leading to a fourth Georgia goal. Kaitlyn Stroud and her father may have made a wise college choice after all.

87:50 IN: A Georgia player is left unmarked, deflects the ball off Liebetrau's chest and kicks in a fifth goal. The Dogs clearly chased down this Kat and wore her out.

Georgia wound up crushing Kansas 5-0 - and clearly the better team won. The final shot count was 26 to four. Yes, I drove six hours round-trip to see my Jayhawks take FOUR shots on goal! Would someone in Lawrence please upgrade the club ice hockey team?

-> A little piece of bread crust keeps stealing the show at our local poker tournaments. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back in U.S. football, the TV news lets you vote on the high school "play of the week." We may have the first complaint of the week....

How unsportsman like to run up a high school football score 63 to 0..You can give me every excuse you can think of,but nothing justifies that score..I wonder if the winning coach thought about trying some 50 yard field goals or putting in the JV team..Come on ,give the kids a break...

I asked about this online Sunday, and one man told me Carver's junior varsity DID play in the fourth quarter against Spencer - and scored 22 points. Imagine what could have happened if the Carver players still attended that run-down old high school.

But one comment left at the Ledger-Enquirer website claimed Carver was passing the ball with a 35-0 second-quarter lead. The fact that the pass followed three Isaiah Crowell rushing touchdowns apparently was beside the point....

Let's shift now from sports to Sunday news, starting with an item which led to a desperate request for me to track down information:

+ A Columbus State University spokesman told your blog a "person of interest" was being questioned, for firing a shot outside the Courtyard I apartments. John Lester said a campus alert was NOT issued because no one was injured, and there was no threat or risk to students. That's also why no alerts are likely during next year's NCAA rifle championships.

+ Columbus Police made several arrests, after finding an alleged illegal poker game inside a Buena Vista Road beauty salon. The "cutting" may change after dark from hair to decks of cards....

+ Northern Little League announced a welcome-home event will be held for the Southeast Regional champions tonight at Shaw High School. Let's all remember the lessons from four years ago - by having someone bring a stop light, to end the speeches by politicians at two minutes.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 533 (- 38, 6.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

29 AUG 10: Yes, Ministers

This year's election leaves no doubt that Columbus is still a "Bible Belt" city. Two of the four candidates for mayor list their occupation as "minister." Of course, that means they can work as mayor from Monday through Friday - then write a sermon Saturday night to deliver on Sunday morning.

We're finally ready to review what ministers and mayoral candidates Wayne Anthony and Zeph Baker said on WDAK's "Viewpoint" a few days ago. Both men described themselves as "conservative," with Anthony adding he's a religious conservative as well. Anthony must preach from the New Testament constantly - since it's on the right-hand side of the Bible.

Wayne Anthony points to his Columbus roots. In fact, he says he grew up on a farm in the north side of town. Anthony probably still can take you to the subdivision under construction there....

Columbus Councilor Wayne Anthony is one of several candidates who thinks a "sunset" provision should be put on the city property tax freeze. It almost sounds unnatural, doesn't it? If the sun sets, a thaw will happen....

Wayne Anthony noted Columbus residents have supported the property tax freeze for years. But he listed five groups of people whom he claims are harmed by the rules -- including me, even though I rent an apartment. About the only people who seem to benefit are Alabama residents, because they pay no state property tax at all.

Viewpoint host Mike Gaymon asked Wayne Anthony to list his top campaign issues. Anthony gave three - then minutes later declared education "number five." Somehow issue number four got lost. Maybe it was that issue's bye week.

Zeph Baker also is a Columbus native. He told WDAK he's voted on "both sides of the line" in elections. In Baker's case, that's a bit like hockey - jumping from Democrat to the Independent "neutral zone" two years ago.

Zeph Baker claimed Columbus has "missed a lot over the last eight years." Host Mike Gaymon didn't follow up by asking what the city's missed - and I wish he had. Columbus has gained base realignment, NCR and three Wal-Mart SuperCenters. Does Baker know something about Magic Johnson Theatres?

Zeph Baker is trying to stand out from the mayoral pack with some thought-provoking proposals. He mentioned on radio Columbus Council should have an "ex-officio member" on the Muscogee County School Board. Apparently Councilors don't have time to watch the replays of board meetings on CCG-TV.

(Host Mike Gaymon DID follow up that one, asking if Zeph Baker would support an ex-officio member of the school board on Columbus Council. "Great idea," Baker answered - reminding us again that the Chamber of Commerce sometimes acts as ex-officio leader over the entire city.)

After hearing this interview, I was left with the impression Zeph Baker is filling a niche the other three mayoral candidates aren't. Not racially - but by being friendly and folksy. Bobby Peters, Bob Poydasheff and Jim Wetherington all came across as down-to-earth "everyman" mayors. Baker presents himself the same way - although as a minister, he probably wouldn't buy you a drink at the bar.

But Zeph Baker has a couple of speaking habits which might annoy some people. He said "absolutely" several times during the radio interview, even when the question wasn't yes-or-no. Sometimes you can say "absolutely" absolutely too often....

The four mayoral candidates have about nine weeks left to make their points. Their big event this coming week will be an evening forum on live TV at the RiverCenter. If one of the four shows up late, you know downtown parking will become his or her top issue.

BLOG UPDATE: Has Columbus recovered from the heartbreak yet? From the Northern All-Stars losing that big lead? Of being eliminated from.... oh wait, I forgot. The first big high school football night occurred only hours later.

Hawaii won two in a row over Northern, to knock Columbus out of the Little League World Series. Friday's final score was 12-5 - and somewhere, a former college quarterback named Colt Brennan had to be smiling.

Northern jumped out to a 4-0 lead on Waipahu, Hawaii -- but the game turned when a Hawaiian player tried to steal second base in the third inning. The umpire called him out, but a video challenge determined he was safe. Call the video judge "four-eyes" if you wish - but at least he relied on four camera lenses.

After a couple of close calls, Waipahu's batters finally rattled Northern star pitcher Jacob Pate. From there, the hurling fell apart - as I counted four Hawaii players hit by pitches in two innings. People who didn't know better might have thought the Hughston Clinic arranged this.

I went to Loco's on 13^th Street, presuming I'd join a Friday afternoon crowd watching the Northern Little ~~Lagers~~ Leaguers. But I found only a few people sitting in booths, and a half-filled bar. When the Peach Little League fans don't rally around Northern, has One Columbus really arrived?

Did WRBL know Northern would be eliminated from the Little League World Series? Sports anchor Stuart Webber was back in Columbus Friday night, after spending several days in Pennsylvania. If this station can do big stories on possible local conspiracies, I can start one back at them.

The Northern All-Stars are staying in Williamsport for today's final game. When they come home Monday, should they get a big welcome-home celebration? The 2006 world champs received a party which filled the Civic Center, despite a lightning storm. The 2010 regional champs may have to settle for photo shoots will all the candidates for mayor.

-> A little piece of bread crust keeps stealing the show at our local poker tournaments. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: "I've got 100 dollars, says Tiger Woods doesn't win!" the man hollered as soon as he stepped outside around 8:00 a.m. Saturday. His comments seemed to be aimed at anyone in earshot -- but especially toward someone near the street.

"I whupped your a** when you were a young man, and I'll whup your a** again as an old man!" he says later in his speech.

Eventually he's satisfied and walks back inside -- but then a neighbor offers a suggestion. "Next time you step outside, start by saying good morning."

Now that we've updated baseball and golf, let's check other weekend items....

+ Saturday's rain-cooled high temperature in Columbus was 88 degrees F. For the first time that I can recall since May, I went all day without turning on the air conditioner. I hope that doesn't bring out those sniffing dogs from Georgia Power, to investigate what happened.

+ Phenix City Police arrested a female school employee, on charges of sending "sexually inappropriate" material to a child over the Internet. C'mon, folks - young people know how to spell Katy Perry's name, without any help from grown-ups.

+ Carver clobbered Spencer 63-0 in their annual "Heritage Bowl" high school football rivalry. The start of the game was delayed by lightning - forcing some concerned fans back to their metal grills in the South Commons parking lot.

+ Georgia running back Washaun Ealey was suspended for next weekend's opening game, after he was arrested in Athens. The charges include "hit and run" - while Coach Mark Richt actually wants Ealey to run, get hit and then keep running.

+ The 30th annual Midnight Express run was held in Midtown. There's a reason why this run does NOT take place on Broadway. Too many customers on a Saturday night at midnight would try to jump into the field, causing hundreds of runners to trip and fall.

+ Instant Message to U.S. Senate candidate Mike Thurmond: I almost forgot - we missed you at Thursday night's Columbus State University forum. You were scheduled to appear, you know. And as Georgia Labor Commissioner, you should realize that missing an interview without explanation probably will cost you the job.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: A football road trip.... although some people won't really consider it football....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 571 (- 58, 9.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, August 27, 2010

27 AUG 10: Yaks From the Back

"There's nothing more critical than the upcoming election," Columbus State University President Timothy Mescon said Thursday night as his campus hosted a candidate forum. By the end of the evening, I was ready to declare him wrong. Some political supporters are more critical -- and they'll mutter their criticism to anyone who can hear it.

While the Columbus mayoral candidates were the centerpiece of Thursday night's forum, candidates for Congress inspired the most passion from a packed Cunningham Center audience. Some said "amen" when Mike Keown spoke. Others applauded loudly when Sanford Bishop spoke. And Frank Saunders spoke for so long, the emcee couldn't shut him up. [True!]

I sat in the next-to-last row at the Cunningham Center, recording events as Mr. Ordinary Blogger Guy. But that was difficult during the Bishop-Keown debate, as a woman behind me made audible comments almost every time Sanford Bishop spoke. It was almost like she was providing instant analysis and a translation to Republicans wearing special headphones.

When the forum ended, I had to know who was the "backbencher" causing such a racket. Jan Ammons of Marion County left no doubt -- she can't stand Rep. Sanford Bishop, and thinks he's turning our country "socialist." I didn't ask if Republican minister Mike Keown would turn us more congregational or presbyterian.

"Here's your chance to tell him yourself," I said to Jan Ammons minutes later in a Cunningham Center foyer. Sanford Bishop stood about ten feet away.

"I refuse to talk to him," she answered. "I've tried to talk to him at town hall meetings - but he's made even doctors feel like cr*p." If that's true, Columbus Regional may be announcing a lot more mergers in the next few weeks.

I tried to tell Jan Ammons her comments from the back row distracted me - but to be honest, I don't think she cared. Ammons calls Sanford Bishop a "liar," and wants to tell the world so. At least Rush Limbaugh would play a Democrat's audio clip uninterrupted once, before talking it down.

It's one thing to support your candidate, and even consider another candidate the scum of the earth. But when you talk over a candidate so much that others can't hear the candidates and evaluate for themselves, you've crossed a line and become disrespectful. Maybe that's why the woman sitting next to Jan Ammons wanted to talk with someone else when the forum ended.

So what did Sanford Bishop and Mike Keown actually say? Keown said when it comes to job creation, "Alabama's killing us right now." At least, I think he was talking about job creation - not football recruiting.

Sanford Bishop responded by saying the Georgia Legislature hasn't done enough to provide incentives for new business. Keown happens to be a Georgia House member - so this race could come down to the classic of which came first: the nation or the state?

In his closing statement, Mike Keown suggested he has trouble sleeping at night because he fears what Washington politicians might do. So when that much-discussed phone call comes at 3:00 in the morning, Keown may want President Obama's answering machine to be on.

Sanford Bishop talked in his closing statement about working with "435 other members of Congress." Uhhhh - aren't there really 434 other members? In the House only, not counting the Senate? I thought this Congressman was a careful number-cruncher....

That wasn't the only slip of the tongue at Thursday night's forum. Nathan Deal had to correct himself, after starting to say he was the Democratic nominee for Georgia Governor. Well, he HAS switched parties once....

(Did you know there's still an African-American candidate in the Georgia Governor's race? I didn't know until Thursday night. He's Libertarian John Monds - who's the current President of the Grady County NAACP. Don't you wonder if Edward DuBose knows as much about Monds as he did Shirley Sherrod?)

But the biggest gaffe of Thursday night's forum came not from a candidate, but debate moderator Chuck Leonard. He tried to end the mayoral section of the forum before Zeph Baker could give a final 30-second rebuttal to a question -- and before anyone could give closing statements. I know the Little League game was close at that point, but really....

Yet that moment of confusion produced the most surprising moment of the mayoral forum. It was Paul Olson who spoke up for Zeph Baker, noting Baker still had a 30-second rebuttal coming. After all the complaints about Olson being domineering, this was a gracious moment -- but then again, Baker isn't a current Columbus Council member.

Then there was the opening comment by Teresa Tomlinson that Columbus has "a broader community than ever." Considering who used the word "broader," I was reminded of an old country song -- especially the refrain....

The Columbus Chamber of Commerce helped organize the forum, and the chamber seemed to write all the candidate questions. Only one came close to touching this week's Parks and Recreation headlines, by asking about restoring faith in city government. Since two of the four candidates are ministers, I'd think the invocations at Council meetings are safe for a while.

All in all, it was an interesting and informative evening at Columbus State University. It wasn't quite the cable TV shouting match I expected - but it was worth changing my weekly Thursday night routine to attend. If only the catering crew had left snacks in the foyer after the forum, and not simply before it....

Earlier in the day, mayoral candidate Wayne Anthony held an official "campaign kickoff" party at his headquarters on Wynnton Road. I fear Anthony didn't learn a key lesson from Bob Poydasheff four years ago. Poydasheff also launched a campaign in August - and discovered starting late doesn't finish you great.

And The River City Report discovered someone is tampering with Teresa Tomlinson yard signs - adding the word "Democrat" to them. The mayor's race is nonpartisan, but we noted here Monday Tomlinson received a campaign donation from the local Democratic Committee. It could be worse, though - someone else could add the words "Mama Grizzly."

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Because of our candidates' forum coverage, our closer look at radio remarks by Wayne Anthony and Zeph Baker will be delayed until this weekend.)

E-MAIL UPDATE: Many people are talking about this week's "Rec-Gate" arrests. Here's the first comment to reach our InBox....

I would just like to comment on the ordeal going on with parks and rec and i find it quite sad that the city of Columbus is allowing this to happen to great person in Tony Adams he has done a lot for the youth for all surrounding areas and i can't see anything wrong with helping the children that need help. I don't see Tony driving in a Hummer Benz or in a big house in Green Island so if money was taken for personal gain i missed it. He is the same person i met 15 years ago with the same goal in mind and that's to keep the youth in positive activities. I just hope the people of Columbus doesn't let what certain people say about Tony change their opinion of him he is great person with a big heart for the youth of our city and surrounding areas. I say to Tony keep your head up and prayers out to you for justice.

To be honest, I'm not sure where Tony Adams lives. He's not listed in the Columbus phone book. But his Comer Gym office is a lot closer to Green Island Hills than Shirley Winston Park is.

To be fair, I'd like to thank city workers for some surprising improvements at Benning Park. One of the two racquetball walls received a new coat of paint this week, and a gaping hole in a fence on the other court is now repaired. If it took two arrests of Parks Department employees to make this happen, I can deal with that.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on the best big burgers in Columbus was closed blindly Thursday afternoon - and Red Robin is your choice. The restaurant at Columbus Park Crossing received two of the five votes. But if only five votes were cast, maybe more vegetarians are reading this blog than I realized.

One reader left a comment warning about all big burgers: "I know you are a runner but I don't think that's going to save you from clogged arteries." Don't worry - our Big Burger Blowout was a one-week-only event. I'm now back to substituting ground turkey for beef in pasta dishes - and I'm certainly thankful right now I don't mix a cream sauce with eggs.

Now let's catch up on news headlines from the last couple of days....

+ Columbus Northern lost to Hawaii 7-4 at the Little League World Series, forcing a win-or-go-home rematch today. Coach Randy Morris said his team "lacked intensity." That's what happens when players get "hired" on an off day to do sports reports for TV stations.

(One evening newscast actually tracked down and interviewed the girlfriends of several Northern players. Is this WTVM, or TMZ?)

+ Columbus Police opened their new East Precinct, sharing a building on Buena Vista Road with a Columbus Bank and Trust branch. We ~~exploited for laughs~~ analyzed this arrangement when it was announced last year [22 Jul 09] - but considering a downtown bank was robbed later in the day, this could become commonplace all over town.

+ Columbus State University announced record enrollment for the fall semester, with more than 8,400 students. Isn't it amazing what a change in the university's website name can do?

+ Automotive News claimed the Kia plant is adding workers for a second production line. Hyundai reportedly will shift production of the Santa Fe from Montgomery to West Point - once again disappointing officials in the capital of New Mexico.

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley announced 7.5 percent proration for schools. The way school budgets have been cut in recent years, math teachers should have no shortage of "story problems."

+ Auburn University began airing TV commercials selling basketball tickets to the new "Au-Rena." Yes, Auburn is promoting basketball season before the start of football season. If I was football coach Gene Chizik, I'd be a little concerned about that....

+ The high school football season opened with Phenix City Central shellacking Shaw 29-7. If Central can score this many points all season, the booster club won't have to worry about shooting fireworks at Garrett-Harrison Stadium - because they'll be redundant.

+ Atlanta Motor Speedway general manager Ed Clark told WDAK radio there's already a line for campground space - and the NASCAR races there don't happen until next weekend. We again have proof that the inhalation of fuel fumes can be addictive.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus chapter of the American Red Cross: I understand you held a "Heroes Luncheon" Thursday downtown. Did you go all the way with this, and serve hero sandwiches?

SCHEDULED NEXT WEEK: A LaughLine flashback about a famous visitor who's coming to town....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 629 (+ 19, 3.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.