The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Thursday, February 11, 2010

11 FEB 10: Cold Cranks

Wednesday's high temperature in Columbus was 42 degrees F. That probably would be welcome in snowbound Washington or Philadelphia -- but a north wind made it uncomfortably chilly for some people. I saw one man wearing three layers of clothing during the morning. Two more, and he might have been a Taco Bell burrito.

But some Columbus drivers are being careless in the cold. Police noted Wednesday several cars are being stolen, while owners warm them up in the morning. And some of us thought criminals would be sleeping in, after breaking into schools in the middle of the night.

Police Sgt. Ken Hudson told WRBL juveniles are going through Columbus neighborhoods before sunrise, looking for unattended cars being warmed up. Some thieves are searching at 5:00 a.m. - which should end the idea that Columbus still is a sleepy Southern town.

(These bad guys didn't hear their parents quite right years go. The early bird gets the worm - not the wagon.)

You may think your car is safe if you start the engine, then lock the doors and carry your remote lock button inside. But police say that's not so - as criminals can get inside in only 30 seconds. The movie "Gone in 60 Seconds" apparently is now as ancient as the four-minute mile.

Several Columbus apartment complexes have printed warning letters for residents about this. But here's something the residents may not know - you don't have to warm up your car on most cold winter mornings. I heard that tip somewhere years ago, and stopped running my engine for several minutes. I gave up being an "American Idle" long before the TV show.

Let's be honest here - how many drivers really start the car early on winter mornings to warm up the engine? Isn't the real goal usually to warm up the heating system? Most people don't want cold air blowing in, during the ride to work - even though that might wake them up without stopping for a cup of coffee.

But it's sad that car thieves have been taking advantage of the winter chill. Georgia Power reported this week January temperatures were six degrees colder than normal across the state -- the coldest January in 25 years. It's been SO COLD that Al Gore may be hiding from the "global warming" skeptics in sunny Australia.

The cold wave caused Georgia Power customers to use 23 percent more electricity than last January. But my usage actually was down one kilowatt hour from 2009 -- and my current natural gas bill is down $1.80 as well. This is why it pays to wear a T-shirt to bed under your pajamas.

If the forecasts are right, more chilly trouble is coming to Columbus Friday. A potential winter storm could bring rain, sleet or snow. But remember, this could be worse. The storm is NOT bringing gloom of night.

But if you're tired of winter, take heart. Today marks one of the first sure signs of spring. No, not the first trees budding around town - but the twin 150 stock car races at Daytona Beach.

-> Our effort to "spread the word" at the poker table has some opposition. See what we mean at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: We waited for a corporate response to this, but received none. So now a former TSYS employee in India writes us for a third time....

I don't say TSYS a racist company, but . .

But there are some disturbing issues yet unresolved, despite my complaints....

We didn't realize until this message that Veeresh Malik had his own blog. He's posted quite a bit about TSYS and its Infonox branch there. But I fear his memory may be fuzzy or fading - since the last two posts have claimed the company is based in Columbus, Ohio.

The link above focuses on a warning Veeresh Malik sent to TSYS management about a possible e-mail scam. A corporate attorney reported told Malik all such scams are based in Asia. I'm sure the population of Nigeria is pleased to have its reputation cleared, after all these years....

Veeresh Malik's latest post on Wednesday claims he's received some kind of "special compilation" about TSYS executives, which even gets into their personal lives. I have no idea what this is about -- but I hope they're not using the historic Mott House for high-stakes poker games.

We called the TSYS Media Relations office for a comment on Veeresh Malik's claims, but had no reply by Wednesday night. Perhaps the company hopes to drive Malik away by ignoring him - but another of his posts claims TSYS might cause physical "grave harm" to his family. Aw, c'mon! Not even the Cottonmouths would do something like that.

Let's see what else blew around in the breeze on Wednesday....

+ Muscogee County school officials confirmed 17 schools were cited for potential problems, in a state audit of CRCT results. Davis and Muscogee Elementary had the worst rating of "severe concern" - which could mean teachers left flash cards scattered on the floor during math tests.

+ WTVM reported the Russell County Commission approved a three-percent pay raise for several heads of departments. But the vote was NOT unanimous - since the commissioners have not been given a ten-percent pay raise to stay ahead.

+ Lilburn, Georgia police reported a man walked into a Wal-Mart store, grabbed a baseball bat and smashed 29 flat-screen televisions. I'm sorry - but I do NOT think this is the proper way to protest Ellen DeGeneres becoming a judge on American Idol.

(OK, there could be another explanation for this. Baseball spring training can't come soon enough for some people.)

+ Roundball Night in Dixieland (tm) brought joy in Auburn, as the men mauled Georgia 82-63. Former Tiger coach Sonny Smith said during the Auburn radio broadcast Georgia has a couple of "lazy defenders." The Bulldogs also may have lazy assistant coaches, because none of them have demanded a retraction.

(On the other hand, Georgia's radio analyst said Auburn takes "bad shots, but takes a lot of them." So? That's also the key to successful tabloid photography.)

+ Instant Message to former Columbus South Inc. director Reggie Richards: Did I see it right on WLTZ - you're single, and speed-dating? I can't believe all the Fort Benning soldiers along Victory Drive have passed you by. Or was Wendy's the nicest restaurant they could afford for dinner?

This blog had more than 55,000 unique visitors in 2009! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 407 (+ 24, 6.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10 FEB 10: Ice as in Nice as in Vice

When I saw it on the schedule, something didn't seem quite right. The Columbus Cottonmouths were playing hockey at 10:30 in the morning?! On purpose?! I went to the last morning match at the Civic Center [1 Apr 04] -- because it was free, lasted one period and the ice-making machinery broke down the night before.

What happened at the Civic Center Tuesday was no mistake. The Cottonmouths met Mississippi in a mid-morning matinee, and about 5,000 school children had tickets to attend. WLTZ sports reporter Jeremy Babin said they were "playing hooky" -- but the youngsters probably would claim they really were playing hockey.

Clearly this was a special promotion by the Cottonmouths - but it still was a bit unusual. Weekday afternoon games are common in baseball, but never happen in major league hockey unless it's a holiday. Baseball games usually have sunshine, fresh air and a leisurely atmosphere for doing business. Hockey before noon is like racing to be first into a cold shower.

Dozens of school buses delivered grade-schoolers to the Civic Center - but it wasn't clear to me how these children were selected to get tickets. The Ledger-Enquirer's web site said the students displayed "good conduct." So they were rewarded with a Cottonmouths hockey game?! What's planned next winter - a mixed martial arts card?

Sure enough - less than nine minutes into the first period, Mississippi and Columbus players started fighting all over the ice. Ten players received penalties. Seven received game misconducts. And the students' chaperones realized they had a LOT of explaining to do on the ride back to school.

(The Ledger-Enquirer story used a term I've never heard in hockey before -- a "line brawl." I thought that happened when a line dancer at a country music nightclub bumped your girlfriend.)

The thousands of "good conduct" students wound up seeing one more fight in the second period, and enough penalties to total 162 minutes. This could be enough for Greg Countryman to keep his Junior Marshals doing basketball drills until the end of April.

The mid-morning matinee had at least one special treat with students in mind. WRBL's highlights showed a fire truck on the ice between periods -- when the firefighters really needed to be in the dressing rooms, using their hoses to cool down emotions.

(Then again, maybe the fire truck served an educational purpose - to show what crews do if the Zamboni engine overheats again.)

Cottonmouths Coach Jerome Bechard said the 5,000 cheering students made the Civic Center especially loud. And I'm sure it was especially challenging for the players -- yelling insults at each other at the tops of their lungs.

All the students made Tuesday's official Civic Center attendance 6,286. I assume this game was NOT also marketed as a "business-fan's special." It's probably very hard to conduct business when grown-ups are fighting below you and sixth-graders are screaming loudly above you at the same time.

Oh yes, they played a hockey game - and Columbus scored a power play goal in overtime to win 4-3. But am I the only person who thinks something was wrong with this picture? Sending "good conduct" students to watch "Boom Boom" Bechard's Cottonmouths is a bit like having an Overeaters Anonymous meeting at Golden Corral.

The Cottonmouths apparently didn't even let children skate on the ice after the game. That would have helped promote Tuesday's launch of an anti-obesity campaign by first lady Michelle Obama. But then, conservatives probably suspect "Let's Move" is a ploy to recruit youngsters into the "MoveOn" political action committee.

A couple of guesses come to mind, as to why "good conduct" students went to the Cottonmouths game Tuesday. Perhaps it's because Disney on Ice won't be at the Civic Center until mid-May - practically at the end of the school year. Or perhaps the cast of "A Chorus Line" said performers only do Broadway matinees on Wednesdays.

By the way: a review of our blog entry from 2004 revealed amazing similarities between that mini-game and Tuesday's Cottonmouths contest. In both cases, the visiting team was Mississippi. In both cases, the final score was 4-3 in overtime. And in both cases, fans could have stopped for lunch at Minnie's restaurant on the way home.

-> Our effort to "spread the word" at the poker table has some opposition. See what we mean at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of Tuesday's "Best Bets" brought a reply which topped ours....

A better bet is Chevron @ Summerville Rd. and Stadium Dr. in Phenix City.

$2.45.9 for regular. That was the price through Monday.

Cheers

That'll teach me to drive around a little more -- which of course would burn away that two-cent a gallon price advantage.

But you can't get to the gas station if your car won't start....

Get ready Columbus,we are being invaded by rodents who love car wires..I just had my car towed and rewired because some squirrel likes to eat up the wires..Hope he choked..Repair service said in Columbus it happens all the time..He suggested a can with holes and mothballs under the car when I park.One web site said certain car makers are using a soy based plastic like product to coat the wires rather than expensive rubber.. On the internet put in "rodents eat car wires" and look at the hundreds of web site..One suggested fox urine sprinkled in the parking place..

This e-mail left me shocked -- SHOCKED! I've had e-mail for nearly 15 years, and never have received a message about fox urine. Well, unless it was mentioned in one of those spam messages about cut-rate Viagra....

Hungry squirrels can damage more than cars. When CNN had its headquarters near Georgia Tech in midtown Atlanta, I heard stories of squirrels knocking out network computer systems. A few bites could mean a few lost megabytes.

We'll give a local spokesperson 24 more hours to reply to another e-mail we've received. Until then, you'll have to settle for these other Tuesday topics:

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington told Columbus Council 95 new police officers are now hired - only five away from the promised 100. But think about this a minute. Would the mayor really want to admit all 100 are on duty? Shouldn't five be reserved for special undercover operations?

+ Columbus Council approved three members of the city Crime Prevention Commission. Two positions were filled based on State Senate district lines -- when you'd think Macon Road would be simple enough.

(While that commission now is filled, the meeting agenda shows five positions on the city Taxicab Commission currently are vacant. I think the bad economy is to blame for this - as too many candidates can't afford a cab ride across town to check the quality of service.)

+ WTVM reported Harris County Sheriff Mike Jolley has rented a double-wide mobile home in Pine Mountain, to stop criminal activity there. There's an idea for our new Columbus Crime Prevention Director to try - renting the Carousel Lounge for several months.

+ Dick McMichael's blog revealed the Space Science Center will receive 17 million dollars' worth of artifacts, once NASA ends the space shuttle program. One of the items will be a shuttle tire - which had better be placed in a spot where guys can kick it.

+ The Atlanta Hawks mashed Memphis 108-94. This game taught me something new about pro basketball - fouls are NOT supposed to be called when one second is left on the shot clock. I mean, Hawks broadcaster Steve Holman kept harping on it....

+ Instant Message to River Road Elementary School: I thought your sign was wrong. I thought "Winter Break" occurred in late December, not this Thursday and Friday. But after seeing the Friday forecast, you may be smarter than the TV meteorologists.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 383 (+ 9, 2.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

9 FEB 10: Just Askin'

The 10:00 p.m. ET hour Monday night was filled with people on television asking questions. CSI scientists questioned suspects in Miami. A fiction author questioned suspects on "Castle." And Texas basketball fans questioned how their team possibly could look so bad against my alma mater Kansas.

It was left to WXTX to examine how criminal questioning occurs. A special report took viewers into several law enforcement "interrogation rooms" to learn how suspects are questioned. It was a twist on the old Radio Shack slogan: They've got questions. You'd better answer.

Russell County investigator Heath Taylor admitted there's "no better rush" than getting a criminal to confess to a major crime. This may sound strange, but remember one thing - Taylor's campaign for sheriff this year is his first political race.

Heath Taylor added Alabama state law allows investigators to lie, as they question suspects. So they can trap, without acting like "Trappist monks...."

Heath Taylor explained the point of an interrogation is to get someone to either demand an attorney, or confess to a crime. Sometimes the questioning can last hours - as Sarah Palin learned when she was interviewed by Katie Couric.

Heath Taylor admitted sometimes questioners sit very close to suspects, intruding on their "personal space." I'd imagine this comes in very handy in marijuana cases - you know, for smelling evidence.

While TV police interrogations can have everything from toppled tables to slaps across the face, an instructor with the Georgia State Police Training Academy said the best approach is to keep a poker face and NOT get loud. This is why I'm glad law enforcement officers never have invited me over for poker nights.

Law enforcement officers say criminals have caught on to the "good cop, bad cop" tactic in interrogations. Apparently detectives have gone back to the old-fashioned tag-team wrestling method....

A variety of crimes were in the news Monday, which could have made for interesting police interrogations....

+ Three women were arrested in Columbus on charges of advertising prostitution on Craigslist. I'm not sure which category they used to promote themselves - whether it was "Misc Romance," "Casual Encounters" or "Real Estate for Sale."

(One of the suspects was identified as Cassandra Geotcha. Do you think an interrogator tried to catch her in a lie - so he could declare, "Gotcha, Geotcha"?)

+ A high-speed chase in Valley ended with a driver crashing a car through the door of a Burger King. Authorities now hope to have it their way - as in one to five years.

+ Police in suburban Atlanta reported someone smashed a car into a Macy*s store at Southlake Mall, to steal $10,000 worth of clothing. Now you know why food courts at shopping malls don't have drive-through lanes.

+ Jimmy Rane of Yellawood was knocked unconscious by a man with a handgun, while.... oh wait. That's the latest Yellawood "Old West" commercial.

-> Speaking of poker faces -- we seem to be good at those. Read why at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: The reader who challenged us to question the Cascade Hills Church pastor sent a somewhat predictable follow-up Monday....

I told you that you would not get to him...these people are not stupid, they are not going to make it obvious, or confirm such claims. The staff is trained to protect at all cost. You will never get to him... Don't forget Jim Jones filled a building, and an island with people a few decades ago, then he had them drink....You will be approached to give up my email shortly...

At this point, the burden of proof is on Pastor Bill Purvis's accuser. And I'm not sure why the church would approach me for this reader's e-mail. After all, I'm the one who was called a frog-looking geek - not him.

But come to think of it, Bill Purvis said something in Sunday's sermon which might give accusers ammunition. In a message on the selection of David as a future king of Israel, the pastor indicated incomplete information about your plans is NOT a lie. I've heard other ministers who would dispute that -- and would make Brett Favre come across as the biggest liar in sports.

We're still holding one other e-mail for another day. So let's see what else made headlines on Monday:

+ Phenix City workers began installing "detection loops" at several intersections on Broad Street, to prevent long backups for traffic lights. Columbus could do the same thing on Veterans Parkway downtown - but police need the extra money from impatient drivers.

+ Synovus announced it received seven National Awards for "middle market banking" from Greenwich Associates. The awards were for everything from Credit Policy to Financial Stability - which tells me the judges haven't talked to many foreclosed families in metro Atlanta.

+ Columbus Bank and Trust President Billy Blanchard began a competition with Muscogee County School Superintendent Susan Andrews. It's an online vote to see who gets to conduct the Youth Orchestra of Greater Columbus during a concert. But I couldn't find the poll at the orchestra's web site - so perhaps in true musical tradition, everything is on hold.

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley announced the state "Rapid Response Team" will help laid-off Victoryland employees. He stopped short of saying the team is as fast as a greyhound in the feature race.

+ Alabama Senator Richard Shelby agreed to remove a "hold" he put on more than 70 presidential nominations. Apparently he decided the big Washington snowstorm which shut down the federal government was even more effective.

(ABC News reported Richard Shelby's holds are a tactic to get an F.B.I. terror analysis lab moved from Virginia to north Alabama. The Huntsville area probably would be more secure - as dozens of deer and raccoon hunters could show up on a moment's notice.)

+ Instant Message to Sonic: Wow - you're going to use "real ice cream" now? How many years of research did you need to figure out how good that is?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.47 a gallon at Circle K on Fourth Street.... FREE Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny's from 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.... and "Glee" fans attending "A Chorus Line" at the RiverCenter, but concluding it's very old-fashioned....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (+ 13, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, February 08, 2010

8 FEB 10: Fleeing the Wrath to Come?

The biggest church in Columbus put on a party for the big football game Sunday evening. But it was for teenagers - and for some reason, it ended at halftime. Maybe organizers wanted the young people to avoid seeing too much skin from the musicians.

I found out about the Super Bowl party for teens Sunday, when I made a surprise trip to Cascade Hills Church. A new wave of e-mail accusations has come my way in recent weeks about the pastor. Sometimes I wonder if the accusations are someone's curious form of evangelizing -- trying to get me in the door and become saved.

The latest accusations against Pastor Bill Purvis come from a person or group called "The Alliance." As usual, the accuser is anonymous. At least the anti- gambling task force in Alabama has the courage to hold public news conferences, without wearing hoods....

But anyway: one major accusation was ruled out-of-bounds for this blog, because it dealt with a death [31 Jan]. But two follow-up e-mails from The Alliance were different in their attack:

By the way after you talked with him after a service a year or two ago [7 Oct 07], he came to the back and said you were "frog looking" and you looked like a geek...among other things.

I assume you no longer address serious topics, I did not realize you had made that transition to exclusive humor. The hilarious part is the joke that this man has made of Christianity in this town. I find it very funny. The other funny thing is how so many, like yourself, actually think this man gives a cr*p about biblical principles, scripture, or anything else that does not benefit him directly. Oh, and by the way, you have no chance of talking to him about anything. His staff, has been given explicit orders not to let you near him. Also, he leaves the stage before the service is dismissed and is escorted by an armed guard to his car and is out of the parking lot before the closing prayer. You are known by the staff and we are not to allow you, or anyone else for that matter to get to this man.

Also, he has gained weight, but not as much as it might appear. That is a bullet proof vest under his suit.

The definition of a "serious topic" is open to interpretation. For some people, a seven-figure compensation package for a corporate executive is fun and games.

To see if Pastor Bill Purvis really is trying to avoid a humor blogger at all costs, I quietly went to Sunday's 11:00 a.m. service at Cascade Hills Church. Long-time blog readers will recall I worshiped there two years ago for several months [30 Aug 08]. Little has changed since I moved on -- except for the additional large TV screen on stage, as if four others around it aren't enough.

If the Cascade Hills Church staff had explicit orders to watch out for me, it wasn't evident Sunday. From the moment I walked in the door, no one stopped me or seemed to follow me around. And I even helped with the "frog-looking" part, by wearing a dark green jacket.

If no one is allowed to "get to" Bill Purvis, you never would have known it from Sunday's service. It was a baby dedication day, and parents handed over four youngsters to the pastor - after reportedly meeting with him in a separate reception. No Columbus Police officers stood around the stage, to frisk relatives coming forward with cameras.

(I've been to a worship service in Columbus where guards stood at the edge of the platform during a sermon -- and Jeremiah Wright is about as far-removed from Bill Purvis as ministers come.)

Pastor Bill Purvis quoted mentor and motivational speaker John Maxwell as calling Cascade Hills "across the board... the most balanced church that I know of." It appeared that way Sunday as well - as both the main floor and balcony were full.

But to get to the accusations: Yes, Pastor Bill Purvis "leaves the stage before the service is dismissed." I've seen him do it many times, and he did it again Sunday. He went to the main floor and took a seat, during the closing announcements....

But the Cascade Hills Pastor did NOT leave the worship center before Sunday's "closing prayer." In fact, he gave the last prayer of the service - and NOT on a video screen, standing next to his car.

Bill Purvis had a front-row seat to watch three baptisms at the end of the 11:00 a.m. service. Another Cascade Hills staff minister did the actual baptizing - and never once were the three candidates asked publicly if they were on the "Pastor's Prayer Partner" list.

With the baptisms over, Pastor Bill Purvis stood up and left the worship center through a back door. I sat in the middle of the audience to stay as incognito as possible, and couldn't walk over to him due to the crowd. But then, no one stopped to shake the pastor's hand - and no one announced it was forbidden, as if he hadn't ascended to heaven yet.

Two older women sitting near Bill Purvis's chair told me he might be doing counseling, and should be coming right back. But he never did come back - and for that matter, no armed guard came up to me demanding to review my sermon notes for accuracy.

After a couple of minutes, I was able to chat with the Cascade Hills Associate Pastor. Gene Boyd has worked with Bill Purvis since 1992 - but he needed me to repeat the phrase "Blog of Columbus." Boyd didn't recognize me at all. So if they put up wanted posters in the ministerial offices, I fooled him.

Gene Boyd denied Bill Purvis goes to his car by armed guard at the end of worship services. He explained the Pastor slips away on Sundays to join his wife, family and guests for dinner at home. Debbie Purvis usually attends the Saturday night service - and apparently she can get the message the first time, while the worship singers need it three times.

Gene Boyd also denied Bill Purvis is wearing a bulletproof vest when he preaches. But he admitted Cascade Hills Church uses Columbus Police officers for security. This actually started several years ago - way back when officers needed the extra money, before Jim Wetherington became Mayor and made them all happy.

Gene Boyd admitted Cascade Hills Church is the subject of all sorts of rumors. For example, someone spread the false claim that parking outside the building costs five dollars. Maybe Fourth Street Baptist Church should have taken this approach, instead of going to the city to ban parking along Fifth Street on Sundays.

As for that last accusation in the e-mail: Pastor Bill Purvis said during Sunday's sermon he's lost 26 pounds during a recent diet. Maybe he's wearing suit coats during services nowadays because he can fit inside them again.

Will all this satisfy The Alliance? Don't worry - I know better than that by now. The person or group probably will demand I go back to Cascade Hills Church next weekend. Not to listen to the service, but to stand outside side doors and watch for a minister walking with his chest to the back of a police officer.

One other e-mail is being held until we can make calls about it. So let's check some weekend headlines you may have missed....

+ Harris County sheriff's officers arrested two people on charges of stealing big-screen TV sets from villas at Callaway Gardens. If you don't think "Farrar's is fairer," this is NOT the way to get revenge.

+ Fraternal Order of Police President Randy Robertson complained to TV stations about plans to close the Columbus state crime lab. Robertson told WTVM the state plans to keep labs open in Cleveland and Trion. Maybe it isn't really politics - maybe it's a matter of drier air at high altitudes, to protect evidence.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue called for several state positions to become appointed, instead of elected. He wants to end elections for state Labor Commissioner, Insurance Commissioner, School Superintendent and.... hey, wait a minute! Has the Governor forgotten something? Those last two positions are held by fellow Republicans right now.

(Isn't this proposal amazing? Georgia's Governor gets a rare chance to appoint an interim Secretary of State, and suddenly the critic of "King Rat" thinks he's Perdue the potentate.)

+ An Edison, Georgia fisherman set a state record at Lake Walter George. He caught a blue catfish weighing more than 80 pounds - and hopefully didn't bruise himself black and blue in the process.

+ Roundball Saturday Night (tm) found Georgia's men surprising nationally-ranked Vanderbilt 72-58. Yet the Bulldogs still aren't playing .500 basketball - so those plans to renovate Stegeman Coliseum could be designed with the gymnastics team in mind.

+ Instant Message to the Pittsburgh Penguins: My Sunday "best bet" looked perfect when I walked in the door. But you lost that 4-1 lead, as if Democrats inspired Washington to try another "power grab."

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 361 (- 22, 6.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

7 FEB 10: Days of Discovery

After a couple of busy days, no big story stands out for me this weekend. So here are several small things which I discovered along the way:

1. The hunt for Georgia income tax books is over. And if the state Department of Revenue employees have felt lonely in recent weeks, that's probably about to change....

I was able to pick up a state tax book Friday at the Georgia Department of Revenue office. It's located on 13^th Street, practically across the street from Red Lobster -- so if one place doesn't make you crabby, the other one might.

But the Georgia income tax books are NOT on the shelves near the office door. You have to go to the "tax help" window and ask for one. No, they didn't ask for my name to see if I'm an old stick-in-the-mud.

As of Thursday afternoon, two Columbus branch libraries did NOT have Georgia income tax books yet. But then, state officials say they're only at "selected libraries" - which means they're probably selecting only the one with the lowest postage rate.

2. Related to this, some federal tax forms are missing from the Columbus Internal Revenue Service office. I know because I opened several drawers, and no copies were there. The receptionist apparently is unable to print copies of them - so maybe their printer is as out of whack as mine.

We've mentioned before how Form 8880 can help people with modest incomes at tax time. The "Retirement Savings Contributions Credit" rewards you for putting even small amounts of money in an Individual Retirement Account. Instead of owing the federal government, I'm in for a refund - nothing to be I-R-A-te about at all.

3. Sunglasses come in handy on rainy days. A minister I know passed along a widespread e-mail recently, suggesting you put on shades while driving through heavy rain. No, the idea is NOT to have other drivers get out of the way because they think you're a lunatic....

"All of a sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no rain," the e-mail claimed. I wouldn't go quite that far -- but in Friday's moderate rain, my vision was a bit better compared with regular glasses. And we all know how well sunglasses work when embarrassed guests appear on TV talk shows.

4. Milton McGregor is prone to dramatics and over-exaggeration. I noticed this on WXTX Saturday night, as the owner of Victoryland met with laid-off employees picking up paychecks. They had to go to the Macon County Courthouse in Tuskegee to get them -- so McGregor didn't care enough about the workers to save them a 38-mile round-trip from Shorter.

Milton McGregor blamed the Alabama Governor and his Anti-Gambling Task Force for forcing all of Victoryland to close. I'm sorry, but that statement is false -- because the task force claims it only wants to go after the electronic bingo games in Quincy's 777. The greyhound racing still would be legal. And the Oasis Hotel could stay open - since Winfield's Steakhouse offer steaks and not stakes.

The over-exaggeration became apparent Saturday night, when Milton McGregor told Montgomery's WSFA-TV he plans to reopen Victoryland. Attorneys are trying to work out the details or how and when - but why do I get the feeling Johnny Ford wants to cut a ribbon?

With apologies to a former boss, WTVM offered perhaps the wimpiest editorial of the new millennium concerning Victoryland. General Manager Lee Brantley said the issue needs "a resolution, whatever that may be." But Brantley never said if he was on the side of Milton McGregor or Alabama state officials. I don't think they allow "straddle betting" in electronic bingo.

To be fair: Lee Brantley probably has to choose his words carefully when it comes to Victoryland. The complex has advertised on WTVM for years. Governor Bob Riley is unlikely to do that - unless he dares to ask the legislature to change state law, so he can seek a third term.

5. My memory is one year off, when it comes to my older brother. I thought this weekend was his wedding anniversary - until I did the math and realized it was really last Monday. The anniversary card went in the mail that day. But I guess this sets a bad precedent, should I ever become married....

My older brother and his bride now have been married 41 years. They wed when he was 19, she was 18 - and I was a stupid ten-year-old, who saw an overweight mother-in-law at the wedding rehearsal and dared to ask if she was pregnant.

Mike and Millie Burkard have three adult daughters, and became grandparents for the third time Thanksgiving weekend. Not bad for a couple which married in the "free love" era of 1969 - and seems to realize divorcing is anything but free.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.49 a gallon at Marathon on Warm Springs Road in Midtown.... ten Krystal burgers for $4.99 (Sunday only).... and in the big game of the day, Pittsburgh whips Washington in the N.H.L....

SCHEDULED MONDAY: A wrap-up of other weekend news.... and other stuff....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 387 (- 42, 9.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, February 05, 2010

5 FEB 10: The Millionaire Next Door

Our title today comes from a 1998 book about wealth-building. While I haven't read it, the book claims ordinary people like ~~you and~~ me can develop a net worth of at least one million dollars through a series of wise decisions. Obviously this book was written long before the Internet bubble burst and the housing market collapsed....

The title is appropriate because a millionaire was crowned Thursday right down the street from my home. A Phenix City man received a $2.5 million check at the Villa Nova package store on Fourth Street. There's a good reason why this event was not publicized in advance. The man would have been stopped by at least five beggars on the way back to his car.

John Tull Sr. hit the jackpot at Villa Nova, by purchasing the right Georgia Lottery scratch-off ticket last week. Tull admitted to the Ledger-Enquirer he visits the package store "about every other day," after he works at Wal-Mart. I can hear the cynics now - if Wal-Mart stores sold lottery tickets, their employees finally would have a living wage.

(I mentioned Tull's big win Thursday night during a poker tournament at Lil Kim's Cove. It happens to sit next door to Villa Nova. The table went rather silent after I brought up the lottery win - perhaps because we were only playing for 50 dollars.)

But here's the thing - did you notice where John Tull Sr. lives? His home is in Phenix City. He's one of many people who have crossed the river from East Alabama to win big Georgia Lottery prizes in Columbus. I will resist the temptation to say the Alabamians need the "fire-breathing goats" from lottery commercials to heat their mobile homes....

Long-time Columbus residents will recall the TV ads from a 1999 question on starting an "education lottery" in Alabama. Students on Georgia college campuses were shown saying, "Thank you, Alabama!" Should John Tull Sr. stick out his tongue at Georgia for single-handedly gaining some revenge?

But I digress: my point is that Alabama residents who want to gamble cross the state line to Georgia on a regular basis. While I don't play lottery games, others do. And the Governor's Anti-Gambling Task Force could be bringing Columbus businesses many more customers -- although I haven't seen Columbus convenience stores selling Crimson Tide championship cigarette lighters.

The traffic toward Columbus may increase today, in the wake of Thursday's big ruling by the Alabama Supreme Court. The justices ruled 7-2 that the Anti-Gambling Task Force can raid Victoryland. And I doubt officers will wait for that mechanical rabbit to race by before they begin....

(Somewhere in Alabama, Judge Roy Moore must have been stunned when he heard about this decision. After all these years, some justices actually might agree with what was on his Ten Commandments monument.)

Victoryland owner Milton McGregor responded to the Alabama Supreme Court ruling by closing his complex completely. Montgomery's WSFA-TV reported even the Oasis Hotel was closed - which may prove the Tuskegee Airmen National Historic Site isn't thrilling enough to bring in crowds, even during Black History Month.

An attorney for Victoryland warned the Anti-Gambling Task Force will need a search warrant to get onto the grounds. Of course, that will require the approval of a Macon County judge - and thus we have the next roadblock to a raid. But then, the task force might rule the electronic bingo games are a health risk because they're simply too exciting.

The Quincy's 777 web site still had not been updated Thursday night, to indicate anything had closed. The schedule for Satchmo's Night Club still indicates Dr. Feelgood will perform Saturday night - and by then, he might be the only person in Shorter feeling good at all.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The messages we posted Thursday inspired quick responses. It turns out we didn't ask the right person about that 70-year-old building....

Good morning, Richard,

I read the e-mail regarding the old Georgia Welcome Center on Victory Drive, and want to give you an update on its use.

Several months ago, the veterans groups that use the building came to Mayor Wetherington and asked if the city could help with the renovation of that facility. The original building was not built for office space. In fact, the walls didn't go all the way to the ceiling so that air could flow through the building -- there was no heating nor air conditioning. Mayor Wetherington contacted the Commissioner of the Georgia Department of Corrections and asked for assistance in construction and renovation on the building. The Dept. of Corrections had a construction team in Columbus to work on a number of projects in the Government Center, and the Mayor asked if the team could stay and renovate the Welcome Center. The Commissioner agreed, and that's the construction crew you've seen there. When the Dept. of Corrections construction team works on a governmental project, there is no cost for the labor, only materials.

So, as soon as the renovation is completed, the veterans groups will move back in and will be able to meet clients in a much nicer building that will have heating and air, and they will have a first rate office in which to help our veterans.

I hope this information is helpful to your readers.

Judy Thomas

Executive to the Mayor

It appears the "Department of Corrections construction team" includes prison inmates -- which makes the work on Victory Drive quite ironic. Workers have left the confining walls of a prison, to build higher walls for free people.

Another reader is following our e-mails from New Delhi....

Dear Richard,

I am concerned about something. Can you clarify?

According to Veeresh Malik, the former TSYS employee in India, someone at the TSYS group somewhere is altering records, or taking money?

Who are Bob Philbin and Eric Craig? Sounds like someone either went from Cadillac to Betsy or maybe from Cadillac to Rolls Royce. Remember what happened to Elliot Spitzer when he made fun of the corporate kissing cousin of the you-know-who bank.

Since the city houses reserves with the same "family" maybe....

I'm sorry, but I must interrupt the e-mail at this point. This reader again wants to connect TSYS with Synovus, when we noted last week the companies became separate more than two years ago [26 Jan]. No evidence has been submitted that the split is in name only - or even that Dr. Phil McGraw is attempting an intervention.

Our online check found Robert Philbin is the President of TSYS Acquiring Solutions, while Eric Craig is a TSYS Vice President. Both appear to be based in Arizona, not Columbus. -- so they're used to taking "dry heat," even when it comes from half-a-world away.

Our series of posts about TSYS have yet to bring any response from the company -- not by phone, not through e-mail, and thankfully not through a deputy holding a court summons.

Let's wrap up other news from "Thank a Mailman Day" - which is something I actually did:

+ Columbus Police told WLTZ the city had more than 3,700 burglaries last year - the highest number since the 1980s. Wherever those new police beats are, they'd better be working the night beat.

+ The Muscogee County Election Board delayed a final decision on consolidating the number of voter precincts from 48 to 28. The argument that this will build a more close-knit community still isn't working....

+ Columbus Planning Director Rick Jones told WTVM an extension of the Riverwalk from 12^th to 13^th Street should be ready in 60 days. I'm assuming this prediction has factored in everything -- including about 20 days of rain.

+ Kia announced it's received more than 31,000 applications to work at its West Point plant. The car company is still hiring - and it can expect a large stack of applications this weekend from people living in Shorter, Alabama.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths flicked away Fayetteville 4-3. But there was one big problem at the Civic Center, as the Zamboni broke down. Workers had to remove ice shavings between periods by scraping the rink with plexiglass - because the Cottonmouths don't have a female dance team to heat up the ice.

+ Instant Message to the Ledger-Enquirer: Aw, c'mon - since when did a recap of "Real Housewives of Orange County" become breaking news on your web site? WXTX doesn't even stoop to that label, when "American Idol" is on.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 429 (+ 13, 3.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

4 FEB 10: Columbus Consolidated Precincts

What's going on here? I thought Columbus was supposed to come out of the recession before the rest of Georgia, and earlier than most of the country. Yet Wednesday brought word of another possible downsizing. And when the Election Board of city government actually wants to downsize, you know times are still tough.

The Muscogee County Election Board meets today, to consider combining several voting precincts. There were 48 in the last general election. The proposal would make the new number 28. Yet somehow I have the feeling the vote totals still will be announced as slowly as ever.

Nancy Boren with the Election Board says the proposed consolidation actually originated with the Muscogee County School District. School officials are concerned about keeping students safe while polls are open. We certainly don't want youngsters in public schools walking past voters wearing "Intelligent Design is right" T-shirts....

A little merging already takes place in Muscogee County elections. A couple of precincts have been combined at Wynnton United Methodist Church, as well as the Columbus Public Library. Today's proposal would increase that trend, and actually put four current precincts at the main library. If this doesn't boost sales at the library café, I'm not sure anything will.

But the Georgia NAACP President is skeptical about this proposed consolidation. Edward DuBose told the Ledger-Enquirer he'll ask the Justice Department to delay approving the change until "several town hall meetings" are held across Columbus about "potential hardships." Hmmmm -- as I recall, that approach didn't stop the school sales tax from passing.

Edward DuBose fears consolidation will make it more difficult for low-income voters, as well as "the minority community." Has he checked the Census Bureau's latest population report? It shows EVERY ethnic community in Columbus is a minority now, since none has a majority -- so maybe this move eventually will mean no one will vote at all.

(Of course, Edward DuBose could have another concern on his mind. Increased difficulty in getting to the polls could mean more attention for his friends at the Urban League, who offer rides.)

Several questions came to my mind about this proposal, beginning with Edward DuBose's concern. Is this an evenhanded merger, in terms of the notorious "Macon Road divide?" That answer is no, as only five of the 19 consolidations on the list are north of Macon Road. A merger of Waddell and Fort seems to bridge north and south - a single concession to One Columbus.

Yet all 19 proposed consolidations involve precincts adjacent to each other. People won't have to drive from one end of Columbus to the other to cast a vote. They can save that concern for transferring their children to better high schools....

A combining of precincts raises the vision of longer lines at the polls on Election Day, like Smiths Station High School had several years ago. Election Board officials promise this will be prevented through "express polls" - whatever that means. Maybe sample ballots from the Democrats and Republicans will be accepted as legitimate substitutes.

And about that concern over secure schools for children -- has the Muscogee County School District forgotten something? Columbus has dozens of new police officers now. Two more sales tax votes go by, and some people tend to forget....

(In fact, where is the outrage from the Fraternal Order of Police about this change? The precinct at the F.O.P. lodge would be moved to St. Mark United Methodist Church. The chances of getting "law and order" candidates elected clearly will go down.)

Several of the combined precincts under this proposal would be in churches which happen to operate day care programs, and even Christian schools. The church leaders don't seem to be complaining about voters causing child safety issues. They could be simply following the dictionary, and putting "pray" before "prey."

-> Monday night is becoming a big poker night for us. Check why at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: At last we turn to the two e-mails which required follow-up phone calls on our part. Last week a resident of India led us to a "golden parachute" plan for TSYS executives [25 Jan]. That reader now writes again, to clear up a section which puzzled us....

Good evening! So this is what happened at TSYS's subsidiary in India, which I used to head - after TSYS took over in November 2008, they tried to "adjust accounts, kind courtesy Bob Philbin and Eric Craig. Next, they tried to push, err, slighty "incorrect" insurance payments, over-invoiced stuff. Some more of the same, remember your physics classes in school, that's also called "syphon". Anyways, things went from Cadillac to Betsy, and pretty soon it got down to the usual e-mail wars, and then the auditors in India stepped in.

Now there are audits, and then again there are audits. This one has to do with the audit required by Indian and American tax law, which the Indian auditors, B.Bhushan & Co., refused to sign. There were issues, and that's one of the reasons that some quick footwork was needed overnight, end October 2009, and I really don't know what KPMG signed on. There were so many other audits.

There was also an enquiry for an internal audit, Ronnie Barnes, Esq., presiding, which went on another route.

Must be an interesting place, Columbus, but surely in due course the truth will out. Buried deep, no doubt, but can be found.

9 million bucks can make people do anything, no?

Veeresh Malik

New Delhi,

India

So I guess the issue here is whether TSYS finagled some finances with physics. I admittedly never took a physics course. I'm even reluctant to watch that TV series "The Big Bang Theory."

Call the main TSYS phone number, and you can be transferred by voice mail to "TSYS India." But our message asking about recent audits did NOT bring a reply by Wednesday night. Wow - Indian residents who work as telemarketers can call me, but I can't call them back?!

I'm left unsure about whether Veeresh Malik is telling the truth here or not. An online search for that name led to a Vice President of the TSYS subsidiary Infonox -- but also to a New Delhi-based journalist. I might need to double-check his name in early April, to see if I'm being fooled.

Our other e-mail takes us back to Columbus South....

Richard, Do you know what is going into the building on Victory Dr which was used for years by the local veterans organizations? It's the building which was the Georgia Welcome Center prior to use by the veterans' groups. As I recall the state of GA leased the building to the vets groups for $l. a yr. The building's condition deteriorated. A couple of months ago I noticed the veteran's organization was moving out. Since then it appears a great deal of work has been done on the building. Who's moving in and where did the veteran's group move to?

We truly stumped the panel with this one. The Convention and Visitors Bureau doesn't know. The staff at the current Georgia Welcome Center doesn't know. A Chamber of Commerce spokesperson doesn't know. And the Disabled American Veterans lodge didn't return our message - which could mean the members were unloading a moving van somewhere.

Lisa Hughes at the Georgia Welcome Center told me Wednesday the old center along Victory Drive was built around 1940. She says the building "had its issues" before the new center along Interstate 185 opened in 1988. Hmmmm - is that where the ghosts were before Port Columbus was built?

Let's see what other news was welcomed into my home on Wednesday....

+ Sirens sounded across Columbus to mark the main drill of Georgia's severe weather awareness week. Yes, I took part in this - but critics might say I was half-hearted. I knelt under the breakfast table, without taking my bowl of corn flakes.

+ The Georgia Lottery announced a child at Sumter County Primary School is the one-millionth pre-Kindergarten student. So what do the child's parents win - 100 dollars of Fantasy Five tickets?

+ The Associated Press reported Johnny Ford's "march on Montgomery" to support Victoryland attracted about 250 people. If the shutdown of electronic bingo games really puts 2,000 jobs at risk, shouldn't the number of marchers have been higher? Or were laid-off workers on the overnight shift sleeping in, anyway?

+ More than two dozen area high school football players made college commitments on National Signing Day. The most impressive signing to me was Phenix City Central quarterback Darren Daniel, who's going to Stanford. If he doesn't wind up in pro football, he could be ten years away from running for Phenix City Council.

(The most puzzling thing on WTVM's list of signees was that Troy University was absent. They'll never get the honor of playing back-to-back GMAC Bowls at this rate.)

+ Roundball Night in Dixieland (tm) found Columbus State's men mopped up by Montevallo 92-86. The Cougars faced last week's Peach Belt Conference player of the week -- and Gerald January surprised everyone, by playing well beyond his month.

+ Instant Message to the mysterious Phenix City snail-mailer: I'm sorry, but you have me baffled. Online records show the last two city council meetings have NOT discussed buying softballs at all. Perhaps you should take your accusations to the council in person -- but of course, that would be playing hardball.

TEN YEARS' LAUGHTER/4 FEB 00: "Willie B," the best-known gorilla at Zoo Atlanta, died the other day at age 41. A memorial fund has already been set up, to set up a statue in his honor. So if anyone asks: "Willie B. remembered?" You can answer: "Yes. Willie B will-be." (No, the statue will NOT be stuffed!)

By the way, will believers in reincarnation attend the memorial service? They might sing: "Que sera sera - whatever Willie B. will be...."

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 416 (+ 16, 4.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

3 FEB 10: Half-a-BRAC

If you're still skeptical about base realignment really coming to Fort Benning, drive down Highway 520 between Spencer High School and Cusseta. A large area which used to be covered with trees now has military buildings and construction. It's a rare opportunity to see exactly what those controlled burns accomplished.

Fort Benning officers provided its monthly community update Tuesday on how the BRAC work is going. WTVM reported the construction on post now is more than halfway finished -- at least financially speaking. The report did not explain if that's before or after the usual cost overruns.

The Army is spending more than three billion dollars at Fort Benning on base realignment. It sometimes seems like the Georgia Department of Transportation is spending that much to improve Interstate 185 at Victory Drive....

One concern for BRAC planners is the work on I-185 south of St. Mary's Road. A Fort Benning officer said Tuesday all the highway construction should be finished by the end of this year. Then if city lobbyists get their way, soldiers will be able to race each other all the way to work at 65 miles per hour at 5:00 every morning.

The BRAC work and transfer of the U.S. Armor Center is supposed to be final by September 2011. When that happens, officers say more than half of all Army soldiers will pass through Fort Benning. Forget the new hotels and restaurants along Victory Drive -- doesn't that area need a lot of new barber shops?

We're approaching five years since the big BRAC move to Fort Benning was announced. The latest estimate is that the shift will bring 28,000 new people to the Columbus area from Kentucky -- which makes me wonder if the candidates for Columbus Mayor plan any campaign trips to Fort Knox.

The Fort Knox web site has a timeline, which shows how the base realignment construction is supposed to go. Yes, we can say it - you can do some BRAC-tracking....

Assuming the timeline is accurate, several key areas for the U.S. Armor Center and School are still unfinished:

+ A "Centralized Wash Facility." Aren't these Army planners brilliant? Clean your car and your uniform at the same time.

+ A "Driver's Training Course." This one I don't understand. You'd think Barber's Driving School would have someone who's knowledgeable in Humvees.

+ A firing range named Ruth. The top generals somehow missed the news that Barry Bonds holds the home run record now.

+ "Tank Trails." Shouldn't mud-bogging four-wheel drivers have cleared these already?

-> Monday night is becoming a big poker night for us. Check why at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG UPDATE: The fight over Victoryland could come down to a ruling today by the Alabama Supreme Court. Even if the Governor's anti-gambling task force gets its way, I still don't think Bob Riley will be satisfied. He'd want the Macon County facility to change its name to Loser-Land.

Victoryland employees held a rally Tuesday at the Macon County Courthouse. WRBL interviewed one man who said a raid and shutdown would put thousands of people out of work. But the man was identified as a "greyhound park employee" - and from what I understand, dog racing would continue. Well, unless authorities learn which dog finished fourth in a Monday night race....

The electronic bingo area of Victoryland remained closed Tuesday, for a mysterious "computer upgrade." An attorney for the complex denied it was ~~a big fix~~ an adjustment of the games, to make them legal. And we know it wasn't an upgrade of the Quincy's 777 web site -- because it doesn't even have a statement condemning the governor.

Victoryland doesn't help its cause with some of the signs posted on the grounds. The evening news showed one pointing to a "casino." Everyone knows you don't play bingo in a casino - that sign ought to say something like "Veterans Lodge" instead.

But the state's cause took a blow as well Tuesday, when anti-gambling task force commander John Tyson admitted he once received a $100,000 campaign donation from Victoryland's owner. Tyson explained he sought out Milton McGregor because McGregor's powerful politically. Now he's simply trying to get the rest of McGregor's money through fines.

(Wait a minute here - John Tyson's title is "Commander"?! This may explain why he's so gung-ho against bingo. That title sounds like he's in charge of the Alabama State Air Force.)

We DID make calls Tuesday on those two e-mails we've mentioned. We'll allow 24 more hours for a response to them, and move on to other Tuesday topics:

+ Former Columbus Police officer Yolanda Black Burton pleaded guilty to federal charges of insurance fraud. This case could have been worse, you know. If she had committed fraud against Aflac, the judge might have ordered her to hear the duck every five minutes for the next five years.

+ Russell County voters overwhelmingly decided to renew a 13-mil tax for public schools. Phenix City Superintendent Larry DiChiara told WLTZ the money was vital because "we can't have a Cadillac on a Volkswagen budget." Of course, some would say that's the problem. School administration is as oversized as a Cadillac, when it should be as cost-efficient as a Kia.

+ WDAK's Viewpoint focused on Columbus trash collection. A city official estimated Columbus residents and businesses produce about 600 tons of trash a day. He stopped short of saying how much of that "trash" consists of copies of the Ledger-Enquirer.

+ WRBL reported a grass-roots movement is underway in Columbus to bring back the Soap Box Derby. It was a big summertime event in the fifties and sixties - but of course, it all went downhill from there.

(It might be hard in 2010 to find youngsters who want to build their own race cars without an engine. After all, they can play race video games during the summer in an air-conditioned living room.)

+ A committee at the University of Alabama voted to double the salary of football defensive coordinator Kirby Smart. Apparently he won't get his statue on campus until the Crimson Tide wins a second national title.

+ Instant Message to WTVM: I wondered if you'd ever install a "skycam" on the south side of Columbus -- especially after that town hall meeting. But I can't believe the closest place that would take one is the Alabama Power building in Eufaula.

TEN YEARS' LAUGHTER/3 FEB 00: John McCain joined George W. Bush and others in South Carolina Wednesday - the state with the next Republican [Presidential] primary, February 19. Another state with big flag-waving crowds.... only there, campaigns have to check what flags the people are waving!

We heard a curious quote [on NPR] from one of Mr. McCain's supporters in South Carolina. She liked him because "he knows something about being held hostage." Does this mean our next President should be locked inside the White House - and not come out till he accomplishes something?!

The Democrats don't have another primary until March 7 - when there are several on the same day, from New York to Georgia to California. This should help Bill Bradley. After all, basketball players are used to going "coast to coast"....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 400 (+ 14, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

2 FEB 10: Life, Liberty and Losing

So let me get this straight. When Rosa Parks refused to move to the back of the bus and the National Guard stood outside Little Rock Central High School, it was partly to protect the right to.... gamble?! And here I thought the civil rights movement originated in church sanctuaries, not fellowship hall bingo nights....

Former Tuskegee Mayor Johnny Ford dared to declare the feud over Victoryland's electronic bingo machines a civil rights issue Monday. In fact, he compared a planned raid by state troopers last week to the Edmund Pettis Bridge at Selma in 1965. Wow - did the officers plan to remove the machines, or ruin them with high-pressure fire hoses?

Johnny Ford told reporters the Alabama State Patrol presence outside Victoryland last Friday was reminiscent of "storm troopers." But there was one big difference he overlooked. The officers last week actually stayed under control, after a judge issued a restraining order.

Johnny Ford called on Victoryland's supporters to join in a noon-hour march to the Alabama State Capitol on Wednesday. He held an organizational meeting Monday night. I suspect one big issue was making sure charter buses weren't already reserved for gambling trips to Shorter or Biloxi.

Two thoughts came to mind when I saw the WTVM report on Johnny Ford's news conference. The first was that we're in an election year - and Ford happens to be running for Alabama State Senate. Is Ford really trying to hit a political jackpot, without spending any money on bingo?

(Some could argue there's politics on the other side as well. Governor Bob Riley campaigned on a platform of "courageous leadership" and a balanced budget without gambling. Perhaps Riley wants a legacy that emphasizes closed doors more, and proration less.)

The second thought is that Johnny Ford went ~~on tilt~~ over the line of absurdity, by suggesting Victoryland's survival was a civil rights issue. When Zell Miller campaigned for a Georgia Lottery, I don't recall him asking Andrew Young and Joseph Lowery to endorse it in front of the King Center in Atlanta.

A web site which focuses on civil rights matters seems to agree with me. It's focused right now on the census and health care reform. About the only place where gambling is mentioned involves "compulsive gambling" -- and believe it or not, Congress has decided it's NOT a disability.

To be fair: Johnny Ford has a point when he says the closing of Quincy's 777 gaming center could put a lot of people out or work. But what has he done as Tuskegee Mayor or in the state legislature to diversify the Macon County economy? Only one breakthrough by Ford comes to mind - and Macon County merely led the way in accepting Sunday beer sales at convenience stores.

But Johnny Ford seems to forget that before we saw Shorter in 2010 and Selma in 1965, there was Phenix City in 1954. Would Ford have used economic grounds to defend illegal gambling on Broad Street then? Not to mention prostitution by.... well, uh, you know.... another kind of "broad."

The Alabama NAACP become involved in the Victoryland feud Monday as well. It issued a proclamation which seemed to side with electronic bingo halls such as Quincy's 777, on the grounds that threatened raids and shutdowns can hurt workers' families. I'm left wondering how many church pastors are on the NAACP board these days.

Hours after Johnny Ford called for a march on Montgomery, WSFA-TV reported Victoryland's gaming center was closed. Owner Milton McGregor explained computer updates will bring the electronic bingo games in compliance with recent state Supreme Court rulings. We'd better hear people yelling "Bingo!" at the top of their lungs at least six times an hour....

-> Monday night is becoming a big poker night for us. Check why at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now we move to freedom of the press -- or is that "free press" for all readers?

Hey, Rich,

What's wrong with the Columbus rag? Most other papers do not make you "REGISTER" to read their on-line version. Check out the NY Times, Drudge, AJC, etc. None of them try to put cookies in your computer and track your website perusals in order to market you with specific pop ups, at least not with forced sign in and login password storage potential. Sometimes I wonder what will happen when they finally go belly up and are so clueless that they say they did not see it coming. I like to read the paper but the advertisers miss out on me seeing their ads if I refuse to sign in or sign up with the rag's intrusive devises. Thank you for not forcing the public to sign in to read your log. Thank you for doing it free. You are the best.

The Drudge Report is not really a newspaper, so it's unfair to compare it with the Ledger-Enquirer. But the New York Times and Atlanta Journal-Constitution used to require online registration as well -- and the Times plans to charge a fee for parts of its online edition next year. Pay a fine, for those reviews about wine....

Before you grumble about the Ledger-Enquirer's cookies, look on the bright side. The Valley Times-News in the West Point-Lanett area requires a three-month paid subscription to see ANY online stories. The printers' union there must be more powerful than anywhere else in Alabama.

And before I accept thanks for a lack of registration fees, I should borrow from a favorite Fort Benning phrase. The cost of free blogging is NOT free. Be thankful I haven't started a full-fledged pledge drive, like they do on GPB television - and please respond in a proper logical way.

We admittedly failed to make calls Monday on those two other e-mails. We'll try to do better next time, and move on to other Monday news:

+ Public hearings began on moving Muscogee County students away from high schools which missed adequate yearly progress. This plan admittedly confuses me. Transfers to Hardaway actually will attend Jordan?! Transfers to Northside actually will attend Kendrick?! Which oil company recommended this idea?

+ Momma Goldberg's Deli returned to Columbus, opening a store on Manchester Expressway. A manager predicted the proximity to the chain's Auburn base should attract a crowd. So why did Momma Goldberg's fail in Columbus years ago? Did Georgia fans arrange a secret boycott?

+ WTVM went to Buena Vista, and asked a long-time resident why the town isn't pronounced in the normal Spanish way: "BWAY-nah VEE-stuh." The man didn't know - but he promised to ask some friends currently vacationing in JUR-don.

+ Auburn police reported a man from Atlanta was arrested outside Beard-Eaves Memorial Coliseum before Saturday's showdown with Alabama. He's accused of using phony 20-dollar bills to buy basketball tickets. On most weekends, people would have laughed him out of town - because Auburn basketball tickets aren't even that valuable.

+ The Georgia Dome in Atlanta was named the site for next year's Wrestlemania. Smart shoppers will head there on the day after the pro wrestling card - when souvenir brass knuckles should be half-price.

+ Instant Message to "Miss Georgia" Emily Cook: Do you think this was the reason why you didn't do well in Las Vegas last weekend? They were looking for Miss America, not a National Enquirer reporter....

TEN YEARS' LAUGHTER/2 FEB 00: Then, of course, there’s the punishment of baseball big mouth John Rocker. Among other things, the Atlanta pitcher must undergo sensitivity training. “Could we please throw that fastball a bit more LOVINGLY, Mr. Rocker?”

And how did Rocker find out that he’s suspended until May first? Don’t you secretly wish some purple-haired guy speaking Spanish delivered him a special delivery letter?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 386 (+ 12, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, February 01, 2010

1 FEB 10: Gimme Ten

And you thought that "weekend retreat" by the Muscogee County School Board was simply about the great green compromise. The Sunday news indicated other subjects came up as well - and what's being proposed for the class schedule is more like a full-fledged assault than a retreat.

The school board discussed adding ten minutes to every school day, from late February until the end of the term. Yet a district spokesperson denied Sunday it's a ploy to add furlough days. What shall we call it instead - an economics lesson, involving inflation?

WTVM posted a news release from Muscogee County Schools spokesperson Valerie Fuller, which notes Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue plans "withholding three additional days of salaries for educators...." The state is so short on money, it can't even confirm this by mailing W-3 forms.

In light of that comment by the governor, the Muscogee County School Board is thinking about reducing the calendar year three days. That would include class days on the first two days of April. There's no better way to make sure everyone in the family is counted on Census Day....

But Georgia state law requires students to be in class 180 days per school year. So the two canceled days in April would be made up by expanding almost all the others by ten minutes. This especially could be interesting in high schools with six-period days -- as plenty of guys will offer to set up poker tables, and illustrate how to rotate the extra time like the dealer.

"These are not furlough days," Valerie Fuller's statement declares. "It is a calendar/work schedule adjustment." But the proposal calls for reducing employee pay by one day per month, from March to May -- so it sounds to me like the ghosts of furloughs future, present and past.

Richard Hyatt's web site raised another objection to this proposal Sunday. The first two days of April happen to be the Thursday and Friday before CRCT exams. So?! Students either will have two more days to be well-rested and score well -- or have a four-day weekend to hide in their rooms and cram.

The school board will take a vote on this schedule adjustment in a couple of weeks. But it's not too early to think about what our students could do with those ten extra minutes of class each day....

+ Grade-schoolers can write one letter per day to a state legislator, pleading for their wonderful teachers to get their money back.

+ Middle-school language teachers can one-up the school board, by threatening to teach the dirty words.

+ High school biology teachers might find there's actually time to talk about intelligent design.

+ Physical education classes can squeeze a daily wrestling match into ten minutes. Which trophy shop would like to donate title belts?

+ If all else fails, the lunch period can be extended ten minutes - by making students go through the line a second time to pick up dessert.

-> Why have we been taking a small bottle of hand soap to our poker nights? Read the surprising answer at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of physical education....

HHS retired golf coach Larry Gaither has been honored by being selected to the local,state and now National Coaches Hall of Fame .Coach Gaither returned to coach HHS golf even after he retired from full time teaching..He came back and taught 2 classes for years to walk those high school links with his golfers .After full retirement he has continued to work with the high school tournament he founded .He sure deserves more than a Ledger article on the last page of the Sunday sports section..

I'm admittedly not familiar with Gaither, so I looked him up online. He coached Hardaway to eight state golf championships -- and to this day, no one has accused him of acting like baseball coach Bobby Howard, and recruiting golfers from all over town.

I assume Larry Gaither received front-page attention in the Ledger-Enquirer, when he was inducted in the Chattahoochee Valley Sports Hall of Fame. If the Hall of Fame organizers would kindly step into the new millennium and list their members online, I'd know exactly when that happened.

One next message starts with a school, and expands from there:

I discovered your interesting blog today and enjoyed reading it. Although I'm a Columbus High grad, I feel bad about the future destruction of Baker High...ESPECIALLY when there's a great need for a VA Center here! What a perfect building, and location, that would be!

Barring the saving of Baker, I hope we can, AT LEAST, save Martin Army Community Hospital when the new MACH comes online a couple of years from now. It would make perfect sense to convert it to a regional VA Hospital for the West Georgia/East Alabama area. Especially with the heavy presence of active, currently retired, and future retired!

Secondly, what's with Delta continuing to hold a monopoly position at our Columbus Airport? Based on math from a recent Ledger article, (that 90% of Columbus flyers leave out of Atlanta, rather than Columbus, and the fact that 100,000 flyers actually use Columbus Airport), there is a potential of 1.1 MILLION flyers that could be using Columbus first. But we need options! No choices, no usage. Having more flights DIRECTLY TO AND FROM Columbus to non-Atlanta hubs like Charlotte, Orlando, Washington, DC (where most Columbus flyers go), NYC, Dallas-Ft. Worth, Chicago, Memphis would generate LOADS of air traffic (and create jobs!) here. Think American, Southwest, AirTran, JetBlue, United, U.S. Air, etc. This is a no-brainer! Our airport authority needs to be more active in promoting these statistics, AND the dramatic growth of this region. This is not your grandfather's Columbus. Help!

For some reason, the Veterans Affairs hospitals in Atlanta and Tuskegee are located far from military bases. Maybe the builders were unable to make the walls soundproof enough. Ailing vets might hear live fire exercises, have a flashback and reveal old war secrets.

As for the airport: when I came to Columbus, it was served by three airlines. The Columbus Airport Board has been in talks for years about bringing at least one of them back. Perhaps a new airline can work out a deal with NCR - so you can withdraw money from an ATM at the curb, to pay for checking your bags.

A couple of other e-mails require us to make phone calls. Hopefully we'll have time to do that today - but in the meantime, let's check other Sunday subjects:

+ WTVM reported Fort Middle School was burglarized for the fifth time this school year. Can we have another look at that map of new police beats -- or at least a first look?

+ The Georgia Lottery began selling Powerball tickets, in addition to Mega Millions. Billboards across the state show the Powerball jackpot at $107 million, Mega Millions at $12 million -- and some lawmakers wish it also would show the tens of thousands in bonus money for the lottery board.

+ A Macon County, Alabama woman amended her lawsuit accusing Victoryland of fraud. Sandra Howard now claims the owners arranged for former Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford to win not simply one jackpot, but more than 500 [True/A.P.]. Then it's no wonder Langford was stunned when the federal jury convicted him - he's not used to losing.

+ Instant Message to Jeremy Hobbs: Thanks for sharing this picture of a store sign. I'll assume it's legitimate - and it's one of the few times when no punch line is necessary.

TEN YEARS' LAUGHTER/31 JAN-1 FEB 00: Many people in Atlanta smelled a big payday from [Super Bowl] XXXIV. We heard one report that discount motels 15 miles from the Georgia Dome were going for $109! Will someone please tell the management that the players DON'T pick the places where they stay?

Birmingham women's clinic nurse Emily Lyons is suing suspected clinic bomber Eric Robert Rudolph. She's not asking for a lot - a bit more than ten-thousand dollars. It's either that, or all the hickory nuts Rudolph's hiding in the North Carolina mountains.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (- 31, 7.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

31 JAN 10: Missing Mouths

When a "Top Ten" list comes out, where do your eyes usually go? Most people want to know who's on top. But sometimes missing names at the bottom are more noteworthy. Now don't get ahead of me here - today's topic is NOT North Carolina basketball....

A missing name stunned me Saturday night, when I reviewed the new Columbus radio ratings. The fall report lists 18 radio stations, including a few in Atlanta and Auburn - but WRCG was nowhere to be found. Did the last listeners to leave turn off what's left of the transmitter?

WRCG tried to rebuild a long-lost audience during the fall ratings, by starting an FM simulcast in mid-October. Yet the ratings report doesn't even mention that. That's the problem with "double or nothing" bets....

The only conclusion you could draw from the fall radio ratings is that WRCG has no listeners at all. No one is listening to Neal Boortz's rants against President Obama. No one needs Clark Howard's consumer advice. And no one really cared about Georgia Southern football last season.

But I faced a problem in getting answers to my radio ratings questions. Schedule restrictions required me to interview a manager with PMB Broadcasting Friday afternoon - after he saw the advance ratings numbers, but before they went public. So my knowledge of WRCG's disappearing act matched its rating: nothing.

Joseph Brannan with PMB Broadcasting did explain the addition of Spanish music on WRCG on Saturdays. He said "Poder Latino" is part of an agreement for WBOJ-FM to become "88.5 the Truth," replacing WTMQ. You'd think the Christian station would allow a little Spanish music - but it barely plans Jaci Velasquez songs.

Joseph Brannan assured me WRCG will carry Atlanta baseball games on Saturdays this coming season as usual, overriding Poder Latino. And yes, the broadcasts will be in English - even though the team has at least ten Hispanic players on the current 40-man roster.

It should be noted WRCG switched back to English Saturday night, to broadcast the Columbus Cottonmouths' 2-1 loss to Mississippi. But wouldn't you love to hear a fast-talking Spanish soccer announcer call a hockey game? People who heard "gol-gol-gol-gol-gol!" might assume he's shivering from being too close to the ice.

(That broadcast also revealed something I didn't know. Former WDAK Morning Show co-host Chris Weber now is working behind the scenes at WRCG. He's joined Val McGuinness at PMB Broadcasting. Now all that remains is for Scott Miller to rejoin them....)

Speaking in general, Joseph Brannan says he's satisfied with how PMB Broadcasting did in the fall ratings. He says the stations held steady from the spring report, but are up from a year ago. Wall - that's not exactly what I saw Saturday night. WKCN "Kissin' 99.3" held steady. WCGQ went up from spring to fall. And WRCG seems to be up to nothing.

The number-one station in the fall radio report is no surprise at all. WFXE-FM "Foxie 105" was first again -- and fellow Davis Broadcasting station WKZJ-FM tied for second. The age to make this switch must be 28, because Alicia Keys songs already are on "K-92.7" and she turned 29 the other day.

The biggest loser in the fall radio ratings seems to be WVRK-FM. "Rock 103" has lost more than one-third of its listeners in the last year -- which tells me Auburn football coach Gene Chizik still has to rebuild some confidence with fans.

There's no sign from the radio ratings that last summer's "big switch" in TV news partnerships made a difference. Well, except for one thing. Unless listeners are saying Rock 103's Chris Chaos ought to take WRBL meteorologist Bob Jeswald outside one afternoon, and lock him out during a thunderstorm.

WBOJ's fall rating went down a bit, in the final months before "The Truth" switched dial positions. We'll have to wait until later this year to see how the new WLTC "Lite FM" fares against WGSY "Sunny 100." With Donny Osmond battling John Tesh in the middle of the day, it's a bit like corn syrup versus maple syrup.

A different sort of media note begins our review of other weekend news:

+ Congratulations to WTVM's Zaneta Lowe, on the birth of a baby boy! I'm told the child is named Wade Wilson Lowe - which shows football runs in this family's blood, since the boy is named after a retired journeyman quarterback.

+ WTVM reported several west Georgia homes are candidates to appear on "Extreme Makeover Home Edition." If they don't start with the historic paint-peeling Spencer House downtown, someone should launch an investigation.

+ The Alabama Supreme Court agreed to hear arguments this coming week on whether state troopers can raid Victoryland. Owner Milton McGregor has one advantage in this dispute over Country Crossing in Mobile. He can unleash greyhounds all over the grounds, to prevent agents from removing bingo machines.

(I'm not sure why Governor Bob Riley suddenly has gone on the warpath against Victoryland. Where was he the last seven years? Are that many state lawmakers staying at the Oasis Hotel, while the legislature's in session?)

+ More rain and drizzle fell on Columbus, forcing Chattahoochee Valley Community College to cancel its opening baseball games of the season. At last there's some sense in the sports world! Playing college baseball in January is about as silly as playing a Super Bowl one week before Valentine's Day.

+ Plans were announced for a statue of Alabama football coach Nick Saban, outside Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa. And you thought people don't worship football in the South?! I can't wait to see the fans leaving roses there on Memorial Day.

+ Roundball Saturday Night (tm) found Georgia's men losing at South Carolina 78-77. Gamecock fans apparently did NOT storm the court to celebrate the win - as if we needed more proof Georgia's basketball program lags behind Kentucky's.

+ Instant Message to whomever sent the latest e-mail about Cascade Hills Church: I'm sorry, but I cannot touch your accusations. This matter involves a death, and other blog readers have told me death is nothing to joke about [10 Dec 09]. Maybe the Ledger-Enquirer's crime blogger will consider it a crime against humanity.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 405 (+ 12, 3.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.