The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Saturday, July 18, 2009

18 JUL 09: Cushioning the Blow

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

If you read our Friday confessional, you may be wondering what we've been doing over the last few weeks. Well, we're obviously still blogging. And believe it or not, we haven't typed hard enough from frustration to break a single key.

Another good way to ease the impact is to listen to helpful radio stations. The FM band in Columbus has several religious options, providing everything from inspirational music to thought-provoking messages. I hesitate to call all the messages "inspirational," because one station claims the world will end in October 2011.

One current song on WBOJ-FM "103.7 The Truth" has become an unofficial anthem of my situation. If you're out of work or know someone who is, it might be a help to them as well....

SCHEDULED SUNDAY: Columbus radio's version of a Big Switch....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 559 (- 82, 12.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, July 17, 2009

17 JUL 09: After the Anvil Fell

Who says you have to wait until September for a fair in Columbus? We went to one Thursday on Hamilton Road. But admittedly it was a lot smaller. It had no rides for the children. And instead of funnel cakes, there were miniature Tootsie Rolls for the visitors.

A job fair at the University of Phoenix office has become a summer tradition in Columbus. But that's created some challenges. For one thing, the Rivertown School of Beauty next door had roped-off parking for its customers. For another thing, filling out registration cards outside on a humid day can lead to sweat drops on the card from your nose.

Much as we did two years ago [20 Jul 07], we filled out the registration card to walk inside the University of Phoenix job fair. During the 11:00 a.m. hour, the crowd didn't seem that large. But then, maybe most of the unemployment people in Columbus rushed inside at 9:00 and took all the good jobs.

The promotional announcements promised more than 40 local firms would have job openings and be looking for workers Thursday. That turned out to be misleading. Several tables were taken by colleges - and the only "recruiting" they were doing was to pad the fall semester enrollment.

The number of employers at the University of Phoenix Thursday was down noticeably from two years ago. Clear Channel Radio was missing. So were a few area police departments. And what does it say about the job market when Best Buy has a classroom all to itself?

(By the way: the University of Phoenix called it a "job fair" this year. Two years ago, it was a "career fair." Most people nowadays simply are thankful for the former, and realize there's no guarantee of the latter.)

"What we're looking for right now," one man at a job fair table told me, "is experienced cooks."

"Define experienced," I said.

"Industrial cooks," the man answered. So much for the single guy who follows the Hamburger Helper directions in his kitchen.

We left the University of Phoenix job fair after only about 30 minutes of browsing. The number of options seemed disappointing. Even the businesses holding giveaways didn't offer thrilling prizes. After all, supermarkets sell mesh bags for about a dollar now.

The job fair was disappointing to me for another reason - and this is where today's writing gets challenging. You see, it's time for your blogger to make a confession. I went to the University of Phoenix seeking a job. No, I didn't go "hat in hand" - because my hats wouldn't have looked right with a dress shirt and tie.

Today marks six weeks since I joined the ranks of the unemployed. My long-time employer fired me -- officially and ostensibly for not double-checking an address. And this is NOT like Pizza Hut, where at least you could try to sell the pizza to neighbors....

The steps leading to my dismissal actually go back to late March. I was suspended from my workplace for the way I handled a phone call from an angry member of the public. My supervisor wanted me to write down the complaint and pass it on. But when the woman seems to have a point and part of the complaint is fixable at that moment -- well, the Jimmy Carter peacemaking side of me tends to come out

My supervisor suspended me from work for one day. I accepted that, and actually didn't mind since it allowed extra time for spring cleaning....

....yet when I picked up a carry-out pizza for dinner, this sales slip was a stunning reminder of the day. And it seemed more fitting for my personnel file.

Then came a Wednesday evening in early June. A caller told me of a law enforcement search in progress, and even gave the exact location. A co-worker who went to check confirmed something was happening, and never told me the address was incorrect. It's OK to tell me if I'm wrong - since e-mails from Hurtsboro have done it often.

(I later learned the co-worker neglected to tell me something else. A drug bust suggested by the caller really was a hunt for stolen property -- and officers at the scene told the co-worker they "struck out" in that search. Their strikeout plus my kick-out made it a double play.)

The address of the investigation went public that night - and mere minutes later, people affected were on the phone complaining about it. One call suggested social workers hurried to the location within minutes, and seized custody of children. My own check afterward determined that was false - and the night after that discovery was my best night of sleep in a week.

As I worked on a project the next day, a co-worker made a comment which I feared might be prophetic: "There are few things I like better than a good firing." She did NOT say this about me. But then, she hasn't contacted me since she said that....

At my Thursday night poker game hours later, I explained some of what I knew to another player. I told her I felt like Wile E. Coyote in the cartoons - that I had a feeling an anvil was about to fall on my head, and the only question was how hard it would hit. And there wasn't even time to mail-order an Acme crash helmet.

I was at home the next afternoon when the phone rang. The supervisor from work wanted me to come in as soon as I could. I dropped to my knees to pray about what was coming, then changed clothes for the trip. As I liked to tell the employer during emergencies, I "slipped into something less comfortable."

(As it happened, the phone call that Friday occurred as I browsed around employment web sites. In the race to find a new job, there's no law against jumping the gun.)

I prayed for mercy -- perhaps a one-week suspension this time. But the outcome was the worst, as the supervisor said it was time for us to "part company." Give the supervisor some credit - she couldn't bring herself to use the "F-word." Firing, I mean....

The supervisor ended our final discussion with one last stunning phrase: "Rock Chalk Jayhawk." A mutual interest in Kansas basketball only gets you so far - and in this case, I felt like the team had just been embarrassed in a tournament by Bucknell.

Why have I waited six weeks to tell you this? The reason is money. Unemployment checks could have been at stake - and the appeal clock ran out this week, after the state found in my favor. To quote from the claim examiner's report: "The facts show that you did NOT fail to follow employer's rules, orders or instructions." And besides, I drove to the scene of the search - and it actually was right.

If I wanted to do it, I probably could try to regain my old job. But I don't want to cause difficulty or dissension there, so I'm willing to let it go. And I leave with no real hard feelings, because I spent several years trying to do the best job I could. Of course, Bill Heard probably felt the same way about selling cars....

So I went to the University of Phoenix Thursday looking for more than a blog topic. I was looking for employment, like so many other people are these days. Before you ask - yes, I checked NCR right away. It has no openings posted for humor bloggers.

What does this change in my life mean for you? It means this blog now is more independent than ever - and your donations to the blog are more welcome than ever. I could go into more detail about how you can help. But Google has rules about how much I can mention those recent "ad-ditions" at the top of the page....

Thank you for being patient through this confession time - and now let's check other Thursday news:

+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce insisted the city is eligible for federal stimulus money, to build the new NCR plant. Vice President Biden told two Ohio lawmakers Columbus would be turned down, if it's taking jobs from another state. Chamber employees need to stop convincing TV viewers, and fly to Washington for some lobbying.

+ Chattahoochee Valley Community College confirmed its nursing program has lost part of its accreditation. The decision came from the "National League for Nursing Accrediting Commission." So?! The American League won the baseball All-Star Game, so what do they know?

+ WXTX "News at Ten" went to the Lee County Jail, where solar panels now are being used to provide electricity. Hmmmm -- have you noticed Alabama Power isn't offering that sort of thing for home air conditioning yet?

+ Instant Message to the Columbus.... uh, er.... well, I think you're the Columbus Times: After seeing the front page of this week's issue, have you changed your name? I know times are tough, but to take the word "Times" out of your masthead is a serious budget-cutting step.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 641 (+ 16, 2.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

16 JUL 09: Where is the Outrage?

Mark Shelnutt went to federal court hoping to have his 40-count indictment dismissed. Instead, he learned Wednesday all 40 counts will stand, but a couple will be modified. Plenty of court records probably could use that - so ordinary people can read and understand them.

Federal Judge Clay Land rejected a motion by attorney Mark Shelnutt's lawyers to dismiss the indictment on grounds of "outrageous government conduct." Clearly this grounds belongs with more appropriate cases - like what the Governor of South Carolina did in Argentina.

Defense attorneys tried to cite several cases of outrageous government conduct. One claimed drug suspect Torrence Hill threatened to kill Mark Shelnutt, after becoming a government informant. If that's true, Hill might be recruited for the C.I.A. after serving his sentence.

(Torrence Hill reportedly threatened to kill a federal prosecutor as well. Isn't this amazing? Federal drug suspects can be as fair and balanced as cable TV news anchors.)

But defense attorneys also argued the federal government threatened Torrence Hill into making statements against Mark Shelnutt. I thought this sort of thing happened all the time - except with Shelnutt's clients, it's called plea-bargaining.

We mentioned Wednesday the claim that prosecutors recorded a conversation with Mark Shelnutt without his knowledge. But Judge Clay Land ruled Shelnutt actually DID know part of the discussion was recorded. This point was easy to settle, by hearing three little words on tape - "Yes, it's on."

For months Mark Shelnutt contended (including once to us) he was never told he was under investigation. Judge Clay Land ruled federal prosecutors never had to tell Shelnutt that. Sometimes a series of well-placed rumors can be sufficient....

Mark Shelnutt said little after Wednesday's hearing, except to tell WRBL he's confident about his upcoming trial. Then again, what else do you expect him to say? If he expected to lose, he would have pleaded guilty several weeks ago.

Judge Clay Land's decision means the trial of Mark Shelnutt is on, for early September. This seems awfully fast, considering he was indicted in late May. Are Republican prosecutors trying to hurry this case along, before President Obama learns about a Democrat in trouble and replaces them?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION returned at midday Wednesday, spurred by this e-mail:

Have you had a poll on if the city needs a crime prevention director?

No, we haven't -- but now we do. Does Columbus need someone under the Public Safety Director/Mayor, focused on nothing but preventing crime? Or do shows like CSI show tracking down the criminal is a lot more fun and entertaining?

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Ooh boy, this could get me in trouble. But when we called up the Steve Harvey Show "Hoodie Award" barbecue ballot Wednesday, we found Chester's Bar-B-Q was up against Gates and Sons of Kansas City. Really now -- how can a downtown Columbus restaurant take on a legend of my home area? Columbus State's basketball teams know better than to play at Kansas....

Barbecue connoisseurs know Kansas City is famous for its restaurants. Gates and Sons is one of the biggest names -- and unlike Chester's Bar-B-Q, it has locations all over the Kansas City area. Chester's doesn't even dare to have a location within one mile of a Country's.

On top of that, Gates and Sons has a wider variety of barbecue - including beef, turkey and even mutton. Chester's Bar-B-Q has a menu that's mostly pork. And for one day, the spelling of "pulled pork" was changed to polled.

Don't get me wrong - I've had Chester's barbecued chicken, and it was bony but good. But claiming to be better than Gates and Sons is something else completely. We'll see how the voting goes - but based on community size and all the other factors, this looks like a Gates lock-up.

Let's see what else seemed interesting, on the anniversary of my father's birth in the Kansas City area:

+ Russell County officials refused to issue an arrest warrant for Hurtsboro Mayor Rayford Tapley. Former Constable Robert Schweiger wanted him arrested for obstructing justice, and now says he'll ask for criminal charges to be filed. Is it safe to assume the new mayor's honeymoon is over?

(A Columbus accountant apparently has been auditing the Hurtsboro city records since February. Ben Vance says the audit won't be finished until October. Eight months, for a town as small as Hurtsboro?!? It makes you wonder how many city employees and friends have money stuffed under their beds.)

+ The Georgia unemployment rate for June hit a record 10.1 percent. The late-night news interviewed one recent college graduate who works at a Columbus sandwich shop, even though he has a philosophy degree. It's sad to know think-tanks aren't hiring philosophers the way they once did.

+ WALB-TV in Albany reported the number of daily flights from Southwest Georgia Regional airport has been reduced to three, because Atlantic Southeast Airways is putting pilots on furlough. The Columbus airport still stands at four per day - but with one round-trip ticket to Atlanta costing $459, as we discovered Wednesday night, the pilots might want to take side jobs as shuttle drivers.

(Georgia legislative leaders announced state lawmakers will take one furlough day a month through December. This surprised many people, who didn't realize House and Senate members have been holding regular secret meetings since April.)

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.29 a gallon at Summit, 15^th and Veterans Parkway.... Dragnet reruns at 5:30 p.m. ET on WRBL's channel 3.2.... Columbus Lions jerseys for half-price at the season-ending party (please ignore the Reading Express railroad marks on them)....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 625 (+ 23, 3.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

15 JUL 09: The Prevent Defense

Today marks one year since Columbus voters approved the "streets and safety" sales tax. And after one year, the steamroller of momentum for Mayor Jim Wetherington may be slowing a bit -- which is too bad, because you need a good steamroller to pave some of the streets.

Columbus Council put the brakes on one of the local option sales tax projects Tuesday - the creation of a city Office of Crime Prevention. The office was merely delayed, not defeated. So Mayor Wetherington cannot run to the police chief, and claim he was robbed....

The proposal before Columbus Council was to allocate $60,000 to pay for a city Crime Prevention Director. But several Councilors wanted to know exactly what that director will do. After all, don't some police officers engage in crime prevention now? Why else would you take a wrecked sports car to a high school during prom season?

The Columbus Council agenda actually gave an outline of what the proposed Crime Prevention Director would do....

+ Seeking grant money from other places, and developing a process to apply for grants from the city. This makes crime prevention a bit like Columbus Water Works.

+ Coordinating crime prevention programs with local law enforcement and the Muscogee County School District. The city which gives free bike helmets to children soon could give "The Club" to teenage drivers.

+ Planning crime prevention activities with the "Mental Health Court." Presumably special luncheons would NOT include Crazy Bread from Little Caesar's Pizza.

But Councilor Gary Allen apparently spoke for several others, by saying the city should "wade in" to the matter of a Crime Prevention Director instead of jumping in. I could understand that approach in some cases -- but it's not like this director will try to break up a cocaine ring.

Mayor Jim Wetherington told Columbus Council he did NOT propose an Office of Crime Prevention simply to have an office. That's true, of course -- because he really proposed that office last year to gain sales tax support from local ministers.

Mayor Wetherington added he's promised Columbus Council any money spent on crime prevention will "come back to you" - as in Columbus residents. Hopefully home insurance agents heard that, and plan to lower their rates accordingly.

But Mayor Wetherington admitted after the meeting a lot depends on what the new Crime Prevention Director would propose. He added the recommendations could include the creation of new jobs or recreation programs. Let's face it - table tennis paddles are a lot less dangerous than baseball bats.

By the way, the Columbus Crime Prevention Director will report to the mayor - NOT the police chief. Is this a good idea? And is it good that the 100 new police officers will focus on hammer locks of suspects, instead of arm-twisting them to avoid breaking the law?

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: When we had a Big Blog Question in April to find the best barbecue restaurant in Columbus, we left one prize-winning location out - a location that's going for another big honor today. No, they are NOT finally revealing the winners of the Aflac Outdoor Games grilling contest.

. A sign on the door of Chester's Bar-B-Q downtown urges people to vote for it online today, in the "Hoodie Awards." Those are the prizes awarded by the nationally-broadcast Steve Harvey Show, heard in Columbus on WAGH-FM "Magic 101.3." Chester's might be one of the few local restaurants which still allows you to wear hoodies inside.

Chester's won the Hoodie Award for "best barbecue" two years ago. But recent changes have me wondering about the restaurant's future. As of this weekend, the Veterans Parkway location will be closed on Saturdays -- while Mike and Ed's up the road has expanded to Sunday service. In the barbecue business, where there's smoke, there's money.

Now for other tasty treats from Bastille Day 2009....

+ A pre-trial hearing for accused attorney Mark Shelnutt brought the discovery that federal agents recorded an interview with Shelnutt without his knowledge. In fact, an agent apparently lied to Shelnutt about it. And as we all know, you don't lie to criminal attorneys - because they have such a standard for integrity and truthfulness.

+ Former Constable Robert Schweiger told the late-night news he wants the Russell County District Attorney to investigate missing gasoline tax money in Hurtsboro. Schweiger also said.... hey, wait a minute! Didn't Schweiger write us last week, promising we'd be the first to know about breaking news? Maybe he considers this another one of those "rumors."

+ The Georgia Department of Education released its "adequate yearly progress" report. It shows 30 percent of Muscogee County's schools failed to make the A.Y.P. standard, including six out of eight high schools. Does the principal of Rigdon Road School have to go to Carver High, and show how to hold a pep rally for high test scores?

(Overall, the Muscogee County School District fell short of adequate yearly progress. But Schley County schools met A.Y.P. - which might motivate school board member Philip Schley to check there for long-lost relatives.)

+ Columbus Council decided against revoking the liquor license of The Dawg House on Warm Springs Road. The manager admitted to WLTZ she didn't maintain good records about food and alcohol sales. I'd suggest for starters, this restaurant no longer serve beer-battered shrimp and onion rings.

+ A competing Columbus blog revealed conductor George Corradino will retire this weekend from the Bob Barr Community Band. This opens the way for a new Bob Barr to take charge - assuming the former Georgia Congressman has nothing better to do.

+ The Columbus Woodbats mashed Macon 7-2. WRBL interviewed longtime Golden Park public address announcer Steve Thiele in the press box. Did you know he works in front of a computer screen? If the players have to swing wooden bats, Thiele should be required to use an old-fashioned scorebook.

+ Instant Message to Trinity Temple: I don't get it. Your upcoming "purity weekend" conference costs 25 dollars for men - but only ten dollars for women?! Are you implying something here? I doubt men in Columbus would pack nightclubs after midnight if all the dancers acted like "Bruno" in that movie.

COMING SOON: There's something important I've been keeping from you.... and it finally might be time to reveal it....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 602 (+ 21, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

14 JUL 09: On the Street Where You Live

Didya hear about the weekend drug arrest in Quitman County? Deputies say they captured a man with potent marijuana on High Street in Georgetown. Yes, you read that correctly -- a marijuana arrest on "High" Street. It almost makes you wonder if the suspect made a conscious decision to live there....

Until I heard this on WRBL Monday night, I didn't know Georgetown had a High Street. That street name in London refers to an area with ~~top-dollar~~ expensive big-name fashions. It obviously was named High Street because of the price tags.

A different and sad story on the Monday evening news mentioned another street, with a name which frankly puzzles me. Why is there an Ohio River Road in Cusseta? OK, there's "river" in the name of a mobile home park - but were all the mobile homes made in Cincinnati?

Perhaps they had to specify an Ohio River Road in Cusseta, because Columbus already has a well-known River Road. It winds fairly close to the Chattahoochee River, but you can't really see the river at any point from it. Well, not counting the morning that big water tank broke in April....

These news items started me thinking about other street names in our area. Some of them clearly are designed to point you in the right direction from Columbus. But Cusseta Road won't get you to Cusseta, nor will Buena Vista Road lead you to Buena Vista. Instead, you'll wind up in the hands of a suspicious MP at Fort Benning.

Some streets in local industrial parks are named after a business located there -- or one that used to be. The new NCR plant is being built on Panasonic Drive, as the facility used to be a Panasonic battery plant. Perhaps some of the federal stimulus money will pay for changing the signs to Dayton Avenue.

Then there are the streets which seem out of place, and potentially confusing to visitors. I'll never forget the frustration I had when I discovered East Britt David Road did NOT connect with West Britt David Road. Whoever put that airport in between them simply wasn't thinking.

And who knows how many tourists have been stunned to discover "Main Street" in Columbus is a long way from downtown? Main Street Village is much closer to Columbus Park Crossing than the Government Center - but then again, it's also much closer to the heart of local shopping.

Here are some other strange but true facts about Columbus streets and highways....

+ There's an Eve Court near Heath Park - but there's no street named Adam. Women's liberation supporters here must be more powerful than I thought.

+ Columbus has a Nina Street and a Pinta Drive - but nothing named Santa Maria. No, I don't think an anglicized Saint Mary's Road should count.

+ We've mentioned here before that Columbus has a Harbison Drive near Cusseta Road, with a Calvin Avenue not far away. So far no one's figured out a way to build a new street in that neighborhood for Mayor Jim Wetherington.

+ Oh yes - Columbus has a High Lane off Georgetown Drive. Don't be surprised if one of the new police beats has it right in the middle.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Sunday's review of the new Columbus recycling center led to a comment....

Richard, You mentioned only one recycling drop-off site in Phenix City - the one in downtown PC near the animal shelter. The most popular site in PC is the one near the Roy Martin Recreation Center on Summerville Rd in north PC. That one is frequently overflowing especially on Mondays. Representatives from Phenix City Beautiful made a presentation before the City Council several months ago requesting several more sites especially one for the south PC area. Phenix City has applied for a grant to help fund more recycling sites. For your information city employees pick up the recyclables from both sites each day. There are bins for plastic, glass, newspapers, aluminum, and steel cans. I urge everyone to use these sites as recycling keeps these items out of the landfill and as landfills fill up it is very expensive to open new ones. Phenix City discontinued door-to-door recycling several years ago because not enough households were participating. It's too bad we don't have mandatory recycling like Germany. Recycling in Germany is a 40 billion dollar industry. In Germany you are charged a garbage fee based on the weight of your garbage. Of course what you put in your recycling container does not count towards your fee so the more you recycle the less your garbage fee is. I would like to see that implemented here.

When the city of Columbus held public hearings on trash collection last year, a former resident of California brought up the idea of mandatory recycling [8 Aug 08]. But nothing was mentioned about a weight requirement - and a recent health study showed both Georgia and Alabama are substantially overweight.

Meanwhile, the Lee County Commission approved an increase in garbage collection fees Monday night. Commercial customers will see their monthly bill double to 48 dollars. What's going on here? Haven't fuel prices dropped in Beauregard yet, the way they have in Columbus?

The Monday e-mail also had this short note:

I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU ON THE WAY HOME FROM SHOOTING "THE 14TH ANNUAL SUMMER GEORGIA RED-NECK GAMES!

Well, how nice of you to think of.... hey, wait a minute! Is this person implying I should have been at the games near Macon? That I'm (gasp) a redneck?!?! Why, my car doesn't even have any chrome hubcaps to toss.

Let's see what else caught our attention Monday:

+ Muscogee County's year-round elementary schools returned to class after a one-month break. The district is down to only two year-round schools, Georgetown and Rigdon Road. Yet for some reason, Kmart is showing discipline and NOT rushing the back-to-school sales.

+ A spokesman for Alabama's state parks told Troy Public Radio's "Community Focus" the Lakepoint Park lodge in Barbour County will reopen 3 August, after 18 months of renovations. I assume this includes larger refrigerators in the rooms, for holding all the bass you catch.

+ WLTZ reported more than 400 young women tried out in Columbus over the weekend for "America's Next Top Model." What was NOT reported was how the field was cut in half, when contestants mispronounced "Ga-Bama."

+ The Columbus Lions lost the indoor football semifinal game to Reading 60-51. The Lion coaches could give all sorts of explanations for this loss - such as Reading the Formations and Reading the Coverage.

(Did you watch the late-night highlights of the Reading-Columbus game? A few fans apparently traveled from Pennsylvania to the game, and had good lower-level seats. Again Columbus shows it can't pack the house for a big sports event, unless it's poker night at The Sports Page.)

+ Instant Message to Heath Jackson of WBOJ-FM "103.7 the Truth": Aw, c'mon - what do you mean, one fill-in week as a morning host "killed" you?! I'd guess Lee McCard is a little older than you, and he has no trouble doing it the rest of the year. Start slowly, walking around the track at Lakebottom Park.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 581 (+ 20, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, July 13, 2009

13 JUL 09: To Market, To Market

Downtown Columbus has two big churches on the east side of First Avenue. So how can there be a restaurant serving wine on the west side, across the street? Since neither church is Catholic, it can't be one of those "indulgence" things....

The place serving wine on First Avenue may be one of the most overlooked restaurants downtown. It goes simply by The Market -- well, except a subtitle specifies it's "the fresh fish joint." Otherwise, you might confuse it with "Market Days" and only show up on Saturday mornings.

I took a short drive up First Avenue to The Market a few weekends ago. It's certainly nothing like that famous fish market in Seattle, where the staff tosses salmon around. The restaurant is located too close to law offices to risk a liability suit.

The Market wasn't full on a Saturday night, so I was able to have a window seat along First Avenue. This allowed a view of evening traffic - but as the sun set, the only light I had to read the menu came from the other side of the window pane. I'm not sure if it was a matter of ambiance, energy savings or both.

Because I was dining by myself, I didn't ask for alcohol. But I found the wine list at The Market reflected the overall upscale-yet-casual atmosphere -- because one section listed "wines for your 90-foot yacht." Was this list borrowed from Green Island Country Club?

(The bottles of 90-foot yacht wine cost as much as $150 -- which make this a perfect spot for dinner, after you win a big lawsuit at the Government Center.)

This still leaves the question: how can The Market sell wine within one block of First Presbyterian Church? Based on what I found at the city web site, wine sales are allowed within 300 feet of a church -- but "mixed drink" sales are not. So please don't ask for Seven-Up with your fancy bottle, to make a wine cooler.

But I went to The Market for the food, and fish dominates the menu. People who don't like seafood have to order chicken tenders from the "guppies" children's menu, settle for vegetable side dishes -- or sneak into the back alley and look for scraps from Locos Amigos Cantina.

The Market has daily specials, but the basic grilled salmon was good enough for me. It came with a salad which came in a fairly large bowl - seemingly 50 percent larger than the salad at The Fife and Drum Restaurant [10 May]. When it comes to the Florida lettuce crop, timing must be everything.

The grilled salmon was tender and tasty - but as I pondered my dinner, something seemed missing. I finally figured out The Market didn't serve bread with the meal. If you hope to compete with Red Lobster's cheese biscuits, this simply has to change....

I turned down dessert because treats were waiting for me at home. So with a tip, my salmon dinner at The Market cost slightly more than 20 dollars - but hold it. The server forgot to include my soda in the total. After pointing it out, the server allowed me to have it for free. Somehow I doubt this happens with the top-dollar wines.

Even with the flaws we found, The Market strikes me as a nice spot for lunch or dinner. Simply make sure everyone in your group likes fish - and persuade them downtown Columbus actually has nice restaurants off-Broadway.

Now a quick check of weekend leftovers:

+ Which local pastor preached against the TV game show "Wipeout," because it shows people going to desperate lengths to win money? Yet this pastor has admitted liking "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader" - where those same people might wind up looking incredibly stupid in a different way.

+ Rangers at Franklin D. Roosevelt State Park issued their annual warning against motorcyclists going too fast on winding roads. One tree was marked as a "Tree of Shame," apparently because so many bikers have crashed there -- and because the Garden Club of Georgia is too strong a lobby to allow that tree to come down in a state park.

+ The Savannah Morning News reported dozens of people went on a special tour of Savannah homes -- only all the homes had backyard chicken coops. The city which gave us "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" now can give us a sequel: "Sunrise in the Barnyard."

+ The annual "Redneck Games" concluded in East Dublin, Georgia. I read this online, and wondered how much Phenix City overbid to have the Marshall Tucker Band perform Saturday night.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 561 (- 26, 4.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

12 JUL 09: Bin Improved?

Didya hear about the stuff a utility worker found in a Phenix City dumpster? Police say someone threw in a duffel bag with pieces of a methamphetamine lab -- and it was still smoky. You can lead some horses to meth, but you can't make them ruin their teeth.

I tried out Columbus's new alternative to dumpsters for the first time the other day. The city now operates a recycling center off Victory Drive, between a Summit convenience store and the Riverwalk. As if the natural gas odor from Atmos Energy next door wasn't challenging enough for Riverwalk runners to inhale....

There are really two parts to the city recycling center - the large hidden part behind a fence covered with green tarp, and the small part along the street where you drop off items. The only people deeply interested in seeing the hidden part are Bert Coker and Paul Olson, complaining about a lack of openness in government.

So what do we think of the new recycling center? Let's go down the list....

+ Good thing #1: Consistency. The recycling bins are all blue -- just like the bins the city gives homeowners for leaving recyclables at the curb. You know, one of the sure ways to spot a house full of liberals.

+ Good thing #2: More options. The city recycling center accepts paper and cardboard, which the Goodwill Industries center along Tenth Avenue didn't do. Investigative reporters will dig into that paper bin often.

+ Good thing #3: Peace and quiet. The Phenix City recycling center is located next to the animal shelter, and dogs seem to see me every time I stop there.

+ Bad thing #1: Parking -- as in none. I stopped my car on the side of 22^nd Avenue. Am I supposed to park behind Summit, then feel guilty and go inside to buy a bag of chips?

(The only real alternative is to park at a Riverwalk entrance, next to a sign marked for city vehicles only. The extra police officers patrolling on bicycles may have suggested this.)

+ Bad thing #2: Lids. Goodwill Industries didn't have them on the bins, while the city does. The lids are heavy to lift, perhaps because they're not broken in - but I suppose that makes them good exercise for Riverwalk strollers.

+ Bad thing #3: Not enough options. While the Phenix City recycling center doesn't take cardboard and paper, it allows you to drop off magazines. The Columbus center doesn't do that - but then, that means guys walking along Victory Drive have to buy the X-rated magazines.

Final score: The new Columbus recycling center is OK, and I'll certainly use it. But overall, there's not that much improvement over Goodwill -- and who's working behind the fence on the recycled items, anyway? If there's razor-wire on the fences, should we assume prison inmates have found new jobs?

-> We're playing live poker two nights a week these days. Check how things are going (and more) at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's something else that's new - and it comes from Columbus State Representative Richard Smith....

I wanted to let you know about about a new way to keep in contact with me, and that is through my Twitter account.

I will be using Twitter to put out more frequent updates. I will be using Twitter to provide more real time updates (especially while we are in session). One of the benefits I am looking forward to with Twitter is the way I can post questions to everyone following me, and get immediate updates. This will allow me to keep up with the pulse of Columbus, and what issues you are most passionate about.

This is not to say that I will be stopping my email newsletter. I will still be using the newsletter for more detailed updates, keeping everyone on it abrest of what is happening.

It's interesting to see Smith was ahead of the Twitter curve, setting up an account last September. Then he didn't use it for six months -- so perhaps he needed special training from a young relative in how to use a Blackberry.

The latest Twitter update from Rep. Richard Smith shows Georgia state revenue in June was down almost 16 percent from last year. Smith seems sure the Georgia Legislature will need to hold a special session - which at least will improve the hotel/motel tax revenue for the city of Atlanta.

Let's see what else is new or newsworthy this weekend:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer and all the evening TV newscasts visited Victory Pawn and Trading Post - a mere ten days after this blog broke the news of the store's closing [30 Jun]. Maybe it IS time to open a Twitter account, so these newsrooms pay attention to us.

(Shop owner Rick Johnson told one TV station he's thinking about opening a restaurant, and would display the "Indian Joe" mascot there -- perhaps as a reminder customers need to phone ahead for reservations.)

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported military patrol officers have been moved out of downtown Columbus, to patrol new Fort Benning neighborhoods. But I thought base realignment wasn't fully in effect yet -- so how expensive are those new air conditioners?

+ WRBL reported Lee County's "Field of Screens" drive-in theatre has closed, due to a lack of money. The managers admit they were plagued by bad weather on several weekends. So to borrow from the movie "Field of Dreams:" if you build it, they will come - but if it rains on you, they won't.

+ The Marshall Tucker Band performed at the Phenix City Amphitheater. I didn't realize until I checked the band's web site that none of the members is named Marshall Tucker - or even anything close to Tucker. Maybe the band took that name to gain favor with Southern law officers.

(The Marshall Tucker Band probably appeals most to rock fans over age 40. People younger than 40 are more used to seeing "Marshal Markdown" in the Rivertown Ford infomercials.)

+ Atlanta's baseball team traded outfielder Jeff Francoeur to the New York Mets. Talk about terrible timing - the player with "frank" fans in the stands missed the Coney Island hot dog eating contest by one week.

(Remember, you Francoeur supporters - now that he's playing in New York, your "frank" costumes must be kosher.)

+ The World Championship Domino Tournament was held in Andalusia, Alabama. After checking the event's web site, I was stunned - because you'd think Domino's Pizza would know a perfect sponsorship opportunity when they see it.

(The adult singles world domino champion won $3,000. By comparison, the World Series of Poker Main Event continues today -- and the champion will take home about $8.5 million. Maybe it's time to move these domino tables to a Biloxi casino.)

+ Instant Message to Bruno's supermarkets: I think you declared bankruptcy and closed those Alabama stores in the nick of time. Now no one can blame you for that "Bruno" movie.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.29 a gallon at Crown on Crawford Road in Phenix City.... milk for $2.25 a gallon at Publix.... and great walk-up seating for any Columbus Woodbats baseball game....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 587 (- 61, 9.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, July 10, 2009

10 JUL 09: He's Walkin'

Thursday was a nice day in Columbus, especially considering it's July. The high temperature was 88 degrees F. - and if that wasn't enough motivation to keep my air conditioner turned off, the arrival of my monthly electric bill was.

It was a great day to go outside and exercise - and Austin Scott did exactly that. Not only did he walk around Columbus, he walked INTO downtown Columbus from Harris County. And unlike most people who make that walk, Scott had no plans to stage a protest at the Fort Benning gate.

Georgia State Rep. Austin Scott did NOT walk across Columbus to raise money for some sort of cause. He did it to promote his campaign for Georgia Governor. And when he.... oh wait. Scott WAS raising money for a cause, wasn't he? It's called his campaign fund....

Austin Scott clearly is making a "Walk of Georgia" as a political publicity stunt. But the web site promoting the walk says one of his goals is to give voters "a chance to be heard." Scott could have saved a lot of time and shoe leather, simply by posting a phone number.

(This is an interesting twist on the old saying - as Scott walks the walk, but lets other people talk the talk.)

Austin Scott stopped his hike long enough to talk with reporters outside the downtown Burger King. But the TV coverage disappointed me a bit - because I would have asked Scott if all that walking proves he's against state public transportation funding.

Austin Scott told WLTZ he's trying to show Georgians he's "willing to feel their pain." Wow - do THAT many residents have athlete's foot and ingrown toenails?

Austin Scott's family is with him on parts of his 1,025-mile walk. But updates on his web site indicate he has campaign aides following him in a car. Scott refers to the aides as "men in black" - but you wonder if a better description might be "men out of shape."

The web site also reveals a few drivers north of Columbus have stopped to offer Austin Scott a ride. Scott is turning them down, of course -- since he's a Republican, and only Democrats would embrace the concept of freeloading.

As of Thursday night, Austin Scott's web site and Twitter account had NOT been updated to reflect his impressions of Columbus. Of course, one big issue for him should be the quality of the sidewalks....

The idea of a gubernatorial candidate walking across a state is nothing new. I lived in the Kansas City area when "Walkin' Joe Teasdale" trudged across Missouri in 1976. He won the Governor's race - but amazingly, he needed a car to get around the state four years later at re-election time.

The idea of walking across Georgia isn't really new, either. Remember the Blog of Columbus team which took part in the "Walk Georgia" exercise campaign last year? [30 Apr 08] One of these days, I might actually try assembling the team together - for low-fat sandwiches at Subway, of course.

A map is posted online, showing Austin Scott's projected walking path. For some reason, he's going around the border counties - as if voters in Albany and Macon already have decided to vote for John Oxendine in the Republican primary next summer.

It's also interesting that Austin Scott's walking path will end at the state capitol, apparently by heading down Georgia 400 through north Fulton County. From the way it looks, he wants to avoid running into Roy Barnes in Cobb County at all costs.

Let's see what else was fun to talk about, on a Thursday when sad local news seemed to be everywhere....

+ Evening newscasts showed a church group from Tennessee, which is repairing homes on Fifth Avenue for a summer mission project. This group apparently decided a prayer for healing through the "laying on of hands" works on humans, but not roofs.

+ Georgia insurance investigators raided the McDougald Funeral Home in Butler. A search warrant shown on the late-night news accused the owner of persuading people to sign life insurance policies with the funeral home as the beneficiary. Now there's a clever way around waiting for the credit card bills to be paid.

+ CNN visited West Point, to check on the city's economic growth. Mayor A. Drew Ferguson confessed he sometimes calls his town "Kia-Ville." Conservatives who have fled to Heard County probably pronounce it a bit differently - Korea-Ville.

+ Auburn University provided a media tour of its new basketball arena, midway through its construction. Project manager Randy Byars said the arena will have 80 TV screens on the concourse. Wow, how times have changed - because when I was in college, the student union's "TV room" had only one.

(Randy Byars told WRBL sound from Auburn Arena will be "pumped into the bathrooms." Parents should NOT be concerned about this. During non-conference basketball games in December, it still should be quiet enough to rock your baby to sleep.)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 648 (+ 17, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

9 JUL 09: Fort Yes, City No

Remember the Instant Message we posted Tuesday, about someone asking for an investigation by the Alabama Attorney General? The story behind that request went public Wednesday -- and some people found fault with the entire Phenix City Council, not merely one member. Perhaps the council shouldn't have apologized to each other after all.

A group of Fort Mitchell residents went before the Russell County Commission, to complain about an effort to have their neighborhood annexed into Phenix City. The effort is led by Phenix City Councilor Arthur Sumbry - who apparently wants more people to experience the thrill of voting for two Sumbrys, instead of only the Russell County Coroner.

The Fort Mitchell residents say Arthur Sumbry is trying to get them to sign petitions to become part of Phenix City. Sumbry claims among other things, annexation will allow them to have city sewer service - which suggests to me the petition drive came before that sewer line broke in June.

But is Arthur Sumbry telling the truth? Our mysterious Phenix City postal mailer who asked for a state investigation doesn't think so:

This councilman tells these county residents that "grants" will be available to make this happen. The origin of these promises date back at least four years. Those unfortunae souls who fell for this still do not have sanitary sewage. The only change in their status is that they are now paying "higher property taxes."

As for increased city services these citizens alreadyhad city police protection (jurisdiction), fire protection (mutual aid agreements with the city fire department), garbage collection (by the county). Furthermore all of these citizens are not located in the Phenix City Water Utility Jurisdiction.

Councilor Arthur Sumbry confirmed to WRBL he's tried to convince Fort Mitchell residents to be annexed in the past, but the petition drive fell short. He can't even promise them a new Subway restaurant will be coming.

The postal mail goes on to ask Alabama Attorney General Troy King to issue Arthur Sumbry "at a minimum a 'public reprimand'...." The upset Fort Mitchell residents did that in so many words Wednesday -- and at least Phenix City Councilor Jimmy Wetzel was there, to tell Sumbry what they said.

(Our snail mailer also wants the U.S. Justice Department to examine whether Fort Mitchell residents "have been deliberately misled." Does he really expect officials in Washington to step into this? After all, Karl Rove left the White House staff several years ago.)

Resident Shirley Smith later said the fault goes beyond Arthur Sumbry, to the entire Phenix City Council. She believes other council members have been kept in the dark about the petition drive in Fort Mitchell. Well, at least Sumbry isn't upsetting people by hanging around City Hall all day....

The Phenix City Attorney noted there's no law against Councilor Arthur Sumbry going to residents outside the city limits, and asking them to sign an annexation petition. After all, how far would we go with rules like this? Next thing you know, Auburn University might be barred from recruiting Columbus athletes.

But there are two sides to this annexation issue. Is it fair that Fort Mitchell residents have access to all sorts of Phenix City services, yet don't pay city property taxes? You can't have your fire department chili night and eat it, too....

But then again, the Ledger-Enquirer noted the other day that Fort Mitchell is a fast-growing area. Perhaps the protesting residents dream of having their own city in a few years -- and with so many soldiers moving there due to base realignment, Fort Mitchell could be patrolled by military police.

-> We're playing live poker two nights a week these days. Check how things are going (and more) at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of Russell County, guess who's writing us from Hurtsboro....

"Sir" Richard:

I see you are still of the mind-set that I am Ounti or whatever he calls himself. You don't know how wrong you are.

I do not scrawl and if I had any breaking news, you would be the first to receive it.I haven't forgotten all the good coverage you provided for the public in the past about the "shenanigans" in "Hurt'sboro.

It's rumored. But since I don't deal in rumors. I cannot tell you that the Mayor, the "Mare," and the Mayor Pro tem are fighting like cats and dogs.

Its just a rumor - so I won't pass it on.

Constable R.J. Schweiger?????

Thank you for not forgetting such things -- but I can't forget the time the former Constable called me a buffoon [19 Feb 07]. The mysterious mail from "Russell C. Ounti" began shortly after that. Several Alabama readers are convinced Schweiger wrote them - but then, some members of Congress are convinced Michael Jackson was a criminal.

Back in Columbus, Wednesday's thoughts about high school transfers prompted a reader to ask....

Why didn't the Ledger or Ms Fuller give the number of transfers out of Kendrick.?

One local high school for years has had a large number of transfers from there.I didn't see any where in the Ledger article that more bathrooms were being added to the schools that are over crowded.

Perhaps Columbus High needs to go back to being only a part magnet school to absorb their share of transfers.

Muscogee County Schools Director of Communications Valerie Fuller told me Wednesday the Kendrick number still hasn't been determined. That's also true with Shaw High School - where you may have noticed plenty of budding baseball stars have transferred to Columbus already.

Valerie Fuller says it could be September before a final report on "average yearly progress" is ready for Kendrick and Shaw High Schools. The number of transfers will be based in part on the results of science retesting - so the district can't do the math until students do the chemistry.

As for the extra bathrooms: Valerie Fuller checked for me, and said none will be added alongside the portables. Transferring students will have to go inside the high schools, like everyone else -- as opposed to "going" between the portables.

Let's take one more e-mail, on a very different topic:

Hi - my name is Clay bushong and I do online marketing for record companies.

We have an artist - Adam Hood - that is playing The Loft this weekend.

Not sure if you review CDs or shows but would love to send you the CD to mention the show on your blog

Let me know what you think

Thanks!

clay

Adam Hood and his publicist would help their cause, if his web site actually mentioned a performance at The Loft. It didn't Wednesday night -- but if Hood is making some money while attending the Jehovah's Witness convention at the Civic Center, we wish him well.

(The Loft's web site does mention Adam Hood's concert on Saturday night. It's only five dollars a ticket, while The Marshall Tucker Band at the Phenix City Amphitheater costs ten dollars - and remember, the Amphitheater does NOT have pool tables if the music gets boring.)

In the Internet age, a blogger doesn't need to review CD's in advance. I sampled some of Adam Hood's music on Myspace - and other than a few four-letter words, it seems all right to me. The title "Buzzes Like Neon" surprised me, since I thought most young adults became buzzed on energy drinks these days.

Thanks to all of you who write from far and near - and now let's quickly review other Wednesday headlines:

+ Two men who drove away from a Muscogee County Prison work detail were captured in Las Vegas. The inmates apparently missed the start of the World Series of Poker "Main Event" - and apparently didn't realize they needed a $10,000 "buy-in" to enter.

+ Allstate released a survey showing Columbus has the second-safest drivers in Georgia, behind only Augusta. My hometown of Kansas City, Kansas tops both of them -- which surprises me, because drivers there have a NASCAR track for inspiration.

(The average Columbus driver has a collision every 9.5 years. My last one came last year, when someone bumped into my car in a church parking lot and broke a taillight. Part of me wanted even worse damage, so my old Honda could be declared a total loss.)

+ WRBL aired a report on what Columbus Woodbats manager Adam Johnson says to players during a game. Yet I was more drawn to the pictures of Golden Park, with a lot of empty seats. This team may need to hold "Military Appreciation Night" every other game for the rest of the summer.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths announced captain Craig Stahl will return for one final season. Yes, hockey fans - the old Stahl game isn't over yet.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 631 (+ 22, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

8 JUL 09: Good Portables, Bad Portables

Several years ago this blog received a series of e-mail complaints about portable classrooms outside Hardaway High School. Based on the Tuesday evening news, the complaints may be coming again. Midtown Columbus may have to re-do its commercials, to show a modified mobile home park.

Muscogee County school officials say portables will be needed at Hardaway and Northside High Schools this fall, to accommodate more than 300 transferring students. And the transfers have nothing to do with base realignment - so please do NOT start rumors about BRAC families replacing the Third Brigade.

Hardaway and Northside High will take in students from other Muscogee County schools which failed to make "adequate yearly progress." Maybe we need a high school musical to motivate students at the other locations. Start by adjusting an old Michael Jackson song from "P.Y.T." to "A.Y.P."

Muscogee County school spokesperson Valerie Fuller says more than 120 students are transferring away from Spencer High School, while about 95 will move away from Carver High. Alumni groups want these students tattooed, so they never try to attend future Carver-Spencer football games.

Sad to say, Carver and Jordan High Schools had NO students qualify for the "STAR Student" award this past term. The award is based in part on matching the national average scores on the S.A.T. exam. No, Carver could NOT declare Jarvis Jones a "star student" simply for making football all-star teams.

If students at Carver and Jordan are having this much difficulty, it's no wonder dozens of them are transferring to other high schools. They may be stuck in portables - but they apparently decided an "out-house" is better than a poor house.

But the Muscogee County School Board doesn't agree with everything that's portable. A work session Tuesday night reviewed new tougher rules for students carrying cell phones. I'm not sure what led to this change - unless Columbus High School students snapped pictures of teachers in compromising positions.

WRBL listed the potential punishment for using a cell phone before or after school. On the first offense, the phone would be confiscated for three days. On the second offense, detention would be added. And on the third offense, students should face those weird guys on TV who can't stand Alltel.

My old high school actually had a telephone in the journalism classroom. The newspaper staff (including me) would use it to make calls about stories. The yearbook staff probably used it to recruit advertisers. But I doubt anyone used it to call friends at other schools - because this was so long ago that I don't think cell phones were invented yet.

Is this a good idea -- cracking down on students using cell phones during the school day? For one thing, some kind of disaster could occur in a classroom. For another thing, the "phone a friend" concept has helped countless contestants on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

BLOG UPDATE: WRBL finally pinned down a Phenix City official Tuesday about last week's blog exclusive on a sewage spill. Utility Director Steve Smith said the problem was repaired quickly, with NO sign of dead fish. Would it be wrong to assume the fish swimming in Holland Creek are (ahem) crappie?

While Steve Smith says the broken sewer line was fixed quickly, Phenix City workers still were busy Tuesday. They repaired one of the Holland Creek banks where the leak occurred three weeks ago. So please ask your children to be careful around all banks -- and not only the ones with high foreclosure rates.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We heard from an aide to Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington about Tuesday's top topic....

Hi, Richard --

Just a slight correction in your blog today about collection of the LOST money. The sales tax increase went into effect January 1, 2009. Money collected from the LOST has not been budgeted until the Fiscal Year 2010 budget which went into effect July 1, 2009. The figures the Mayor and City Manager gave include information gathered since the tax went into effect six months ago.

JudyT

That's where I admittedly was a bit confused. One TV newscast declared the local option sales tax "took effect" last week [2 Jul]. Maybe it only took effect for the city finance department.

We have to put a disclaimer on our next e-mail. The link a reader sent is for ADULTS ONLY, so copy and paste at your own risk:

the boom boom lady was the hot slut of the day on d lister

http://dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/4 scroll down to july 4th

Now hold on here - it was a tie. Both the "Bang Bang Lady" and the "Boom Boom Lady" from Fireworks Outlet were awarded this notorious title for Independence Day. Our head-to-head Big Blog Question last year ended in a tie as well. So maybe it's time to settle this with a "highest bottle rocket" playoff.

"More Sessions" was the title of one more e-mail we've received. It provided extra details on Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions's campaign money - this time, in terms of who's giving to him. In recent years, Sessions has received more than $48,000 from the University of South Alabama and $34,100 from the University of Alabama. Auburn gave so little that it's no wonder Richard Shelby claims the federal pork there.

Now let's check other political news, and assorted other stuff:

+ Richard Hyatt's web site speculated Columbus attorney Ron Mullins may challenge Josh McKoon next year, for the State Senate seat Seth Harp is giving up. Remembering last year, I have a suggestion for Mullins - file all your campaign forms before you announce you're running.

+ Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter announced he hopes to give city employees a "cost of living" pay raise in his proposed budget. He calls it the right thing to do. Well, yeah - if the city council and mayor are going to vote themselves a big raise, they might as well share the wealth.

+ Alabama state officials announced the new "Sweet Home Alabama" license plate with a beach scene is outselling the "God Bless America" plate by a three-to-one margin. Somewhere in the state, Don Siegelman heard this and began planning another "lottery for education" campaign.

+ Athens, Alabama authorities arrested a man on charges of attacking his girlfriend, then police officers. One of the suspect's alleged weapons was a bag of frozen foods. I never thought about using asparagus spears like javelin spears before....

+ The Atlanta Hawks reached a tentative agreement on a new three-year contract for guard Mike Bibby. I think this means LeBron James considers Georgia a bit too humid.

+ Instant Message to Carmike Cinemas: That was kind of you, to show the Michael Jackson memorial service for free on a giant movie screen. But when did you name someone a "City Manager?" Are you trying to start rumors about Isaiah Hugley's future again?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 609 (+ 22, 3.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

7 JUL 09: Millions LOST

Talk about a stunning announcement! Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington said Monday he expects a major shortfall in revenue from the "streets and safety" LOST sales tax -- the tax which took effect only six days ago. Did that many people stay away from the holiday weekend sales?

Mayor Wetherington told WLTZ the city expects a five-million dollar shortfall from the new one-percent sales tax. The goal was $36 million in revenue. If only $31 million is coming in, the 100 new police officers may have to get used to riding around Columbus on bicycles.

Mayor Wetherington explained the slow economy has led to a shortfall in city sales tax revenue. City Manager Isaiah Hugley has noted in recent months, the overall revenue has been down about 30 percent from 2008. And you wondered why so many police officers were patrolling Interstate 185 last weekend....

Don't blame a lack of tourists for the drop in sales tax revenue. Peter Bowden with the Columbus Convention and Visitors Bureau said the number of visitors should be about even with 2008. OK - but how many Jehovah's Witnesses brought coolers, and are eating in the Civic Center parking lot?

The news report didn't explain what Mayor Jim Wetherington plans to do about this five-million dollar LOST budget gap. Will Columbus have to settle for 80 new police officers, instead of 100? Or will some public works employees get in their trucks, and find badges making them sheriff's deputies?

The comment from the mayor appeared on TV as a public hearing was held on one LOST project - the city's plans to widen Moon Road. Apparently that work is still on, despite the five-million dollar budget gap. If it wasn't, someone would have started singing "How High the Moon."

The city plans to start widening Moon Road in the next few weeks - beginning with an expansion to four lanes north of J.R. Allen Parkway. Once again, southsiders get the raw end of the deal....

The biggest debate at the forum apparently was about widening Moon Road south of J.R. Allen Parkway next year, from Whittlesey Boulevard roughly to Miller Road. City officials decided to adjust that section from two lanes to three - providing drivers late for work with a lot of temptation.

Some people who live along Moon Road want the southern section widened to four lanes, or even five. But one man opposed any widening at all, saying it will invite more traffic on the street. Someone should tell that man there's wide-open evidence to the contrary on Martin Luther King Boulevard.

While the city may be short on money for public safety, the public safety personnel have been busy raising money on their own. Columbus firefighters are on their annual campaign to "fill the boot" with donations to fight muscular dystrophy. Doesn't it make you wonder where the SECOND empty boot is? Did some fire captain retire, and take one home as a souvenir?

On top of that, the phone rang at home Monday night about the annual Fraternal Order of Police fund-raiser. Apparently the LOST revenue won't provide enough money for programs to keep young people away from drugs. Either that, or the director of the new city Crime Prevention office needs to come from the F.O.P. - complete with its checkbook.

A money matter tops our check of other Monday news....

+ The Josh McKoon campaign for State Senate announced it's already raised nearly $44,000. That's nice to know - but if McKoon is as ~~true-blue~~ hard-core Republican as he claims, he'll only spend $5,000 and give back the rest.

+ The owner of the BMW Social Club in Opelika announced he's closing the business, after two shootings in four months. I'm a bit surprised it didn't close because conservatives staged a protest, demanding it be named after a U.S. car company such as Ford.

(But then again, I read online Monday night that the Warner Robins City Council has suspended the license of the "Cadillac II" nightclub. It's enough to make the Sputnik Bar near downtown Columbus sound innocent.)

+ The Columbus Lions advanced in the indoor football playoffs by felling Fayetteville 45-36. The Lions beat Fayetteville three times in a four-week span - which may go down as the most unusual "three-and-out" in football history.

(The Lions will be at home for a semifinal game next Monday night against Reading, Pennsylvania -- except WRBL spelled it Redding, as in California. Someone there needs to go to "PlayDate Columbus" and review the Monopoly board.)

+ Instant Message to our mysterious Phenix City "snail mailer": If you're going to ask Alabama Attorney General Troy King to investigate a city council member, shouldn't you help King a little - by naming the council member? It might save some time and money....

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: A "Bang Bang Lady" leftover....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 587 (+ 19, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, July 06, 2009

6 JUL 09: The Dating Games

The idea sounded original, yet old-fashioned - a monthly Saturday night series in Birmingham where you pay a ten-dollar cover charge, then play games all evening long. It sounds like something I did years ago, in Atlanta and other places. Except you brought your own games, and the church singles group might not even ask for a donation.

The public radio program "Marketplace" had a Friday evening report ten days ago on the game nights in Birmingham. Grown-ups were getting their kicks playing children's games such as "Operation" - you know, "the goofy game where you're the doctor." The only thing missing in that game is the malpractice attorney....

This report made me wonder - if the organizers can put on a game night in Birmingham to make money, why can't I? If no one else did it, I'd win my own real-life version of "Monopoly."

But hesitation wound up costing me, as apparently other people listen to "Marketplace" as well. This past week, I received two e-mails promoting this sort of night in Columbus. Take this one...

What is Play Date?

It's an alternative to the typical night out.

PlayDate provides a fun and exciting atmosphere where you can enjoy good food & cocktails, listen to a variety of music, socialize, and meet great people all while playing games. ALL KINDS OF GAMES- from Poker to Chess, Twister to UNO, Monopoly to Taboo, Hungry Hungry Hippos to Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, and EVERYTHING in between! We even feature nostalgic favorites like Pac-Man and PlayDate Signature games like Musical Chairs, Simon Says, and Hula Hoops.

It turns out PlayDate is a franchise, which started five years ago in Atlanta. But there's nothing wrong with that. It's an organized way to earn Play-Dough.

The PlayDate Columbus invitation is for all adults, but the name and promotion seems to emphasize singles. And if too many guys (ahem) make a "play" for the same gal, they can always fight it out fair and square -- with those robots, of course.

This is the sort of date night where I probably could do well, because I was a big game player when I was young. In fact, some would say I still am -- but I'll let you follow the link to that poker blog....

Long before I took up poker, other games had my interest. The biggest rivalry with my older brother was at the Monopoly board. He always seemed to beat me. I always seemed to whine about it. And that may explain why I never take my tennis racquet, when I go on vacation to see him.

Open my bedroom closet door, and along with hanging clothes you'll find a PlayDate simply waiting to happen. Along with a Monopoly game, you'll find among other things....

+ Take 12 - a Parker Brothers dice game which was adapted into the old TV game show "High Rollers." Except you don't have to answer questions to gain control of the dice, and Ruta Lee doesn't always roll them for you.

+ Pente. An Oklahoman invented this strategy board game during the years when I lived in that state. While it's still online, the board version seems to be Pente-gone.

+ Scrabble. Those of you with Facebook accounts may remember this one -- along with how many combined workdays you wasted, while playing people in other cubicles.

+ Gil Hodges' Pennant Fever - a table baseball game from about 1971, when Hodges managed the New York Mets. For those of you under 30: this is all baseball fans had before Internet fantasy leagues, and you didn't have to pay transaction fees.

There's only one potential problem for me with a PlayDate night. While I have fun playing games, make no mistake - I play to win. This may have cost me some friends in a church singles group years ago, when we played hearts. I collected all of them twice in a row, and the game suddenly was suspended.

PlayDate Columbus plans to make its local premiere 24 July at the Doubletree Hotel. But I noticed the hotel address is misspelled as "Sidney SIMMONS Boulevard" -- so be prepared to win a door prize, if they hold an on-the-spot spelling bee.

While PlayDate Columbus will be on the wrong night of the week for me, I think this idea is ingenious. Lots of people play online games, but this will be an opportunity to play people face-to-face and interact. Of course, the challenge for some people will be chatting without text abbreviations....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to another popular game - politics. A reader sent an item with this title....

FYI Sessions gives to Specter

That was followed by an entry from the Center for Responsive Politics. It shows a $5,000 donation to Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania from Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions's "Tallatchee Creek" political action committee. Tallatchee Creek is located southwest of Montgomery - in an area where you'd think that much money is only around after the cotton crop is in.

The Tallatchee Creek PAC made its $5,000 donation to Sen. Arlen Specter during the first quarter of this year. At the time, both Jeff Sessions and Specter were Republicans. But in April, Specter switched to the Democrats. I don't know if Sessions asked for his money back - or if he's waiting for another Pennsylvania Republican who will get a personal campaign visit with his check.

A closer look at the PAC report shows Tallatchee Creek received $2,500 during the first quarter of this year from Aflac. But then, Aflac divides its political donations fairly evenly between Democrats and Republicans. After all, ducks can ride donkeys just as easily as elephants.

And from our postal mail comes a scrawled message, which we believe is from former Hurtsboro Constable Robert Schweiger. We're admittedly leaving out a personal section of it:

There is going to be lots of news in AL soon.

But you were naughty - so you won't get any of it....

Huh?! Since when has my daily count of chocolate chip cookies made a difference in getting news tips?

Now let's wrap up other interesting items from the Independence Day weekend:

+ A day-night Sunday doubleheader of thundershowers dropped more than a half-inch of rain on Columbus. It also cooled off the temperature enough that I used floor fans without running an air conditioner. That's remarkable for early July - but I didn't celebrate by dancing, because that would have worked up enough of a sweat to require the air conditioner.

+ The weekly Saturday midday test of Columbus storm sirens occurred about 75 minutes late. It's not clear why the siren didn't sound at 12:00 noon. I assumed the Jehovah's Witnesses in convention at the Civic Center were deep in prayer at that moment.

+ A holiday "Columbus Tea Party" rally was held outside the Government Center, protesting President Obama's national energy bill. Since the proposal is tied to climate change, hopefully the protesters dumped jars of sun tea.

(One big issue for the Tea Party protesters is a "cap and trade" emissions policy. I don't quite understand the fuss about this. Pro basketball teams have traded players for years, to stay under the salary cap.)

+ The Miss Georgia pageant staged an event at the Columbus State University Cunningham Center, to officially crown "Miss Georgia 2009.2" Emily Cook. The pageant probably is being very careful, to avoid going to the second runner-up. For instance, I wouldn't expect Cook to appear on "Deal or No Deal."

+ An attorney for Richard Scrushy denied the convicted HealthSouth chief executive has stashed about $600 million in overseas bank accounts. He called such talk "ridiculous" - but you'll notice he has yet to prove that, by releasing his checks for legal fees.

+ Columbus native Edwin Jackson was named to the American League All-Star team. Jackson plays for Detroit, and is one of 13 pitchers on the roster. So instead of "three strikes, you're out," he may be under the rule of "three outs, you're stricken."

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Woodbats: I've finally figured out why your team logo looks familiar. That "bat" with the mustache really is a refugee from Milwaukee....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 568 (- 31, 5.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

5 JUL 09: A Saturday Night Special

Happy Fifth of July to you. Unless you're one of those who drank your fifth on the fourth, if you know what I mean....

I suspected my Saturday night run on the Riverwalk would be different, because crowds of people would be out to watch fireworks. So what happened? Come join me on the jogging trail....

0.05 miles: Approaching Broadway, firecrackers already can be heard in the distant west. It's illegal to shoot them in the Phenix City limits - but people probably run out of gas on their way home from Fireworks Outlet.

0.25 miles: Between Golden Park and the Riverwalk, the lawn is swarming with soldiers. Either they're receiving a special tribute from the Columbus Woodbats, or someone told them an autographed Saddam Hussein playing card is hiding in the grass.

I've never felt safer on a Saturday night run in my life - passing by dozens of soldiers as I head down the ramp to the Riverwalk. But I know better than to run south from the ramp. Earlier in the day, I saw a section of the South Commons parking lot blocked off - clearly to prepare for a fireworks show. It's yet another reason to wear a helmet at the skateboard park.

The Riverwalk near South Commons is the wrong place to be, when a baseball team has a post-game fireworks show. I learned this the hard way during a run five years ago [8 Aug 04] - with explosions above me, spent shells falling around me, and a wartime experience even more lifelike than the National Infantry Museum's displays.

0.6 miles: So after turning right to head north on the Riverwalk, I jog by two Fort Benning soldiers sitting on the hillside. I salute them with my right hand and ask: "Is the baseball game that boring?"

(One soldier responds with something about a "furlough, sir" - but I jog on and don't catch all of it. The late-night news showed so many soldiers inside Golden Park that perhaps too many were put on the Fort Benning buses.)

0.7 miles: The first motorboats pass me, heading north on the Chattahoochee. I suppose this is the coolest way to watch the Thunder on the Hooch fireworks. Well, unless you have a martini inside the River Club.

1.0 miles: The Riverwalk is getting crowded at Sixth Street, as we trod farther north. People are walking four-wide across the walkway - or as I've come to call it, a quadruped.

Years of experience have taught me not to barge through a crowd of walkers ahead of me. I merely clap my hands a few times to get their attention, so they can make room for me to get by. The people in the Atlanta airport transportation mall seemed more surprised by it, though.

A little boy gets my attention from a park bench near the wooden amphitheatre. "You can take him with you," he says pointing at another boy. "He doesn't have a job, either." That's funny - my T-shirt did NOT say NCR on it.

1.2 miles: A couple of people make remarks about having a runner pass them on the Riverwalk. But others in the crowd walking north are concerned about one of two things - wandering children or glowing cell phones. Are that many people providing live updates to WCGQ-FM?

1.35 miles: I jog under the Trade Center -- and even though there's no fence, I decide to make that the turnaround point. I'm now very close to the fireworks shooting zone, and I didn't wear a ball cap to protect my head.

1.6 miles: I'm now running south, against the flow of fireworks traffic. That actually makes the pace easier, but I have to dodge a couple of dogs on leashes. Haven't these owners heard the warnings about keeping pets inside during fireworks shows? Or do they prefer howling dogs to patriotic music?

2.05 miles: I jog for the second time under the Oglethorpe Bridge, and can't run any farther. I slow to a walk, after my best outing in several weeks. It was 90 degrees F. when I went out the door - but yes, it matters that it's a "dry heat."

I climb the stairs near Golden Park, and find more Fort Benning soldiers walking around. "Is the baseball game really that boring?" I ask again. Considering East Alabama beat Columbus 8-4, they could have been honest and said it was.

"There they go, there they go!" I tell the soldiers, pointing up Broadway. The Thunder on the Hooch fireworks are starting, around 9:20 p.m. ET -- before it's completely dark. The soldiers don't seem thrilled, and keep walking on their way. The Army drill sergeants program their brains well....

I jog, then walk north on Broadway - and find a perfect open spot to watch the fireworks show: near the southbound lane, just south of Fifth Street. Someday I'll gain enough strength to go running with a lawn chair.

After admiring the explosives for a couple of minutes, I decide to jog home and head to dinner - but then another fireworks show begins. The Woodbats game is over, and a much louder set of explosions has begun next to Golden Park. Competing shows only about six blocks apart - that's what U.S. freedom is all about.

2.4 miles/final: "It's like stereo," I tell a neighbor after returning home. Only I've probably made the wrong decision, by NOT wearing stereo headphones during the jog to listen to the NASCAR race on radio. The explosives from Golden Park are too loud, even from across the street.

Dueling fireworks shows burst to my left and right for several minutes. The Thunder on the Hooch show ends about one minute before the Golden Park show does, but Thunder on the Hooch ran longer -- a bit surprising, since that party was four hours shorter this year.

"I guess it's safe for me to drive to dinner now," I tell a neighbor. Safe from fireworks, yes - but there's a crowd of cars in my neighborhood, as I bring home dinner from Krystal. Thunder on the Hooch fans are looking for any way home they can. This is what happens when Riverfest disappears from the Historic District.

P.S. As I'm writing all this, my Internet curiosity takes me around Australian radio stations - and I stumble upon one in Sydney that's playing nothing but U.S. music to celebrate Independence Day. How strange is this? I thought President Obama said other countries don't like the U.S. anymore....

But the Sydney station is playing some "American music" I've never heard before. The list includes an Eydie Gorme tune called "Don't Try to Fight It, Baby." Not even the old "Unforgettable 1270" played that one - which I guess means it was forgotten by everyone except the Aussies.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEK: An e-mail inspires a review of my bedroom closet....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 599 (+ 21, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.