12 OCT 10: Checker-Board

Two years ago, we conducted a year-end "pop quiz" of metro Columbus schools. We checked their websites, to see if they reflected proper spelling [29 Dec 08]. Since that time, one significant change has occurred. The Associated Press Stylebook has ruled "website" should be spelled as one word, instead of two.

Today we take the "web bee" in a new direction - and it has a connection to the upcoming Columbus election. It's inspired by a Monday e-mail titled, "Mark Cantrell - Full of Jokes":

Mr. Burkard - Take a look at the attached screen-shots from Facebook. Mark Cantrell has a public profile so you can verify this yourself. His use of grammar and typo's is laughable when considering that he's running for School Board. Can you just imagine the reaction of a parent getting a letter from Mr. Cantrell where he uses "right" instead of "write"? Or "here" instead of "hear".

Love the blog!

Kim

I chose to go directly to the School Board candidate's Facebook page Monday afternoon, and avoid those screen-shots. Photo trickery can happen in the heat of a campaign, you know - such as a Photoshopped Wayne Anthony heroically reeling in a shark from the Chattahoochee River.

Starting from the top, the "Bio" section of Mark Cantrell's Facebook page has a problem right away: "Its time for your voice to be heard on the school board." He needs an apostrophe inside the first word -- not to mention the fact that board members probably can bring digital recorders with my voice on it, to play if they wish.

The biography continues: "I have proven leaderships skills...." Well, Mark Cantrell HAS led a lot of things - from telethons to Action Buildings....

But it doesn't stop there: "My Mom and Dad is James & Jean Cantrell." Is - not are?! Does that fact that Mark Cantrell is a Columbus native have anything to do with this?

You can search through the Facebook page and probably find more writing errors. But this may explain why Mark Cantrell spent the bulk of his career in radio - and country music at that, where countless singers drop the final "g" from words.

(Cantrell might respond by explaining he's merely living up to his reputation. Why would "Johnny Outlaw" obey the laws of good grammar?)

To be fair, we checked Mark Cantrell's opponent for Muscogee County School Board. Incumbent Brenda Storey's Facebook page is visible to "friends only" - but her campaign website biography includes this: "My husband William, a native of Columbus and Jordan graduate, have been married for 30 years and have lived in the same house...." Have, not has? I don't think being married to yourself is legal -- not yet.

Brenda Storey's website also has a punctuation dilemma. She goes back and forth on whether to hyphenate "yard sign." I think the proper answer is no - like a football "yard line" has no line between the yard and the line.

(By the way, I noticed Mark Cantrell has about eight times as many Facebook friends as Brenda Storey. Might that explain why Storey made sure she had "face time" at Monday night's school board work session to discuss gangs? She told WRBL Columbus "seems to have" a crime problem - so her neighborhood must not have one of those police beats.)

Surely a long-time educator would have a proper campaign website, right? I next checked on at-large school board candidate Adele Lindsey -- but her 17 September blog entry says, "I thought we needed an experience educator from Muscogee County on the local school board." The proper word is "experienced." Unless Lindsey taught students at Clubview Elementary how to experience things....

Adele Lindsey is challenging incumbent school board Cathy Williams, whose home page admits: "This was the most difficult budget process in four years that I have served ans tough choices had to be made...." That "ans" ought to be "and." And Williams should have had an advantage, since husband Chuck works with copy editors at the Ledger-Enquirer.

The other competitive Muscogee County School Board race is in District 8, where Philip Schley is stepping down. Brinkley Pound's latest blog post talks about a veteran teacher who used to teach "whole language" reading. "She knew then, as we know now, that is would not be an effective method...." The "is" should be an "isn't" - because it isn't belonging in that sentence.

Brinkley Pound's opponent in District 8 can receive no better than an "incomplete" grade in our inspection. If Beth Harris has a website, I couldn't find it Monday night. And if I become a Facebook "friend" to unlock Harris's page, that would open the doors for accusations of biased reporting.

The point of our test is that while Mark Cantrell's Facebook biography certainly has some flaws, ALL the candidates for Muscogee County School Board have some online. Should we disqualify them all from the election in three weeks? Or should the Literacy Alliance do for the winners what it does for third-graders - and reward them with new dictionaries?

And yes, even this blog has language lapses from time to time. It took more than half of Monday until I realized I'd written about Dale Peterson and "HER rifle." Peterson should never be confused with the late Dale Evans.

-> Sunday night brought a thrilling moment in one form of online poker. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG UPDATE: Columbus Day was no holiday for the Phenix City School Board. After an executive session, Superintendent Larry DiChiara read a response to last week's airing of grievances by City Councilor Jimmy Wetzel. Oh dear -- I wrote "airing of grievances." My apologies for rushing the Festivus season.

But anyway: the Superintendent started by telling reporters the Phenix City School District is prepared to pay the city a use fee for home football games at Garrett-Harrison Stadium. Larry DiChiara said a usage agreement was waived by the last city council. But Jimmy Wetzel would tell you the voters wanted change in 2008 - and more than $100,000 per year can be a lot of pocket change.

Larry DiChiara made it sound like Phenix City officials made a long list of rules for Central High football games - and if the rules weren't followed, the games would be canceled. So a military flyover last week would have been followed by a "game over."

The Superintendent then denied his wife is gaining kickbacks from sales of furniture to the Phenix City School District. Larry DiChiara said furniture is purchased from a state "bid list," and his wife only receives a base salary of $24,000 from an office supply store. She has about as much "commission" as the City Council does, from not calling itself a commission.

Larry DiChiara noted the Phenix City School District is the city's largest employer - so it "stands to reason" that relatives of school board members might take school jobs. Thankfully, Columbus doesn't have that sort of problem. It's big enough to have Hugleys in three separate arms of government.

The Phenix City Superintendent said the school board has responded "swiftly and severely" to confirmed charges of inappropriate relationships. In fact, some criminal cases already were public knowledge. But the supposed "superintendent-administration" relationship remains an open question. Did Larry DiChiara help a female principal load her car with health textbooks?

Larry DiChiara confirmed part of what I suspected last week about his car - that Phenix City Central students gave it a paint job last school year. But the Superintendent said the work took eight months, and he had to pay more than $2,000 for the class project. So there - any kickbacks to his wife would have been passed directly on to students.

Larry DiChiara added Phenix City Schools currently have two million dollars in reserve. He said that shows the reserves are not "down to zero." But he admitted that amount covers only a half-month of operating expenses -- which may mean we should pray for not one big snowstorm this winter, but several.

The Phenix City Superintendent says any further discussion of these matters should be done in a joint session, with the school board and city council. With that, WTVM indicated the current spat was over. Uhhhh - really?! With no change in the school board president? I'll believe it's over when Larry DiChiara and Jimmy Wetzel sign a peace treaty at the amphitheatre.

Let's see what else spiced up a quiet Monday holiday....

+ Columbus mayoral candidate Zeph Baker showed WLTZ a slashed poster on the outside of his campaign headquarters. Baker says his office has received several threatening phone calls in recent days. Hmmmm - has the website name "The Truth About Zeph" been taken yet?

+ WTVM's 5:30 newscast included one commercial break with THREE campaign ads about Mike Keown. The first one supported his campaign for Congress. The last two opposed him. All three included Keown's line about "doing some crazy things." If he loses to Sanford Bishop, he should start selling Crazy Bread for Little Caesar's Pizza.

+ San Francisco edged Atlanta 3-2, to win its baseball playoff series and end the managing career of Bobby Cox. The end was disappointing in several ways - as Cox didn't get himself ejected by an umpire one final time.

(The loss also means Atlanta relief pitcher Billy Wagner will retire. Bobby Cox was forced to remove him from the roster during the series due to a "strained left oblique." I admittedly don't watch much baseball these days - so an oblique injury might as well be an obscure injury.)

+ ABC's "Nightline" showed an outbreak of Pentecostal revival at the Mobile Convention Center. Big crowds are gathering, and people supposedly are receiving miracles. I hope there are enough seats there for the Spencer High School football team.

Today's main topic was inspired by a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 721 (+ 25, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 OCT 10: You Take the High Road

For some TV viewers, the countdown stands at 22. They have to endure 22 more days of finger-pointing, negative-charged campaign ads. Some of the commercials almost make me wish the final campaign debates were "moderated" by Jerry Springer - with a table of fresh food in front of the candidates, for them to throw.

It may be hard to notice amid all the noise, but both Georgia and Alabama have U.S. Senate races to settle in three weeks. The Georgia race gained surprising attention the other day -- because the two main candidates have NOT run negative commercials. I haven't even heard them say anything bad about the Georgia football coach....

In fact, the incumbent Senator seems to be the only one running TV commercials. Republican Johnny Isakson says in one ad the U.S. has reached a "crossroads" between "big government" and the "private sector" under President Obama. Has anyone bothered telling him our country has been at this crossroads since Franklin Roosevelt, about 75 years ago?

The closest thing to an "attack ad" I've seen from Johnny Isakson mentions President Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. But the incumbent doesn't even show the President's picture - only the White House. Maybe the Isakson campaign really believes those claims that Mr. Obama can put voters under hypnosis.

Johnny Isakson's TV commercials have yet even to name his opponents for U.S. Senate, much less put them down. In fact, I'd love to see a survey where Georgians are asked whom his opponents are. Can you name them? If you've already completed early voting and still can't do it, you have my deep sympathies....

The Democrat in the Georgia U.S. Senate race is Labor Commissioner Mike Thurmond. Yet I haven't seen a single TV commercial promoting him. Perhaps that's because his campaign's "YouTube Channel" doesn't have any. Saving all your money is sound advice in a bad economy, but will that win an election?

GPB reported the other day Mike Thurmond's Senate campaign has raised only about $130,000. In this day and age, it's hard to win a statewide election in Georgia with less money than a backup infielder in Atlanta earns in a year.

The Democratic Party has come to the rescue of other Georgia candidates in recent weeks - airing attack ads against Nathan Deal and Mike Keown. But you get the impression when it comes to the U.S. Senate race, Democrats consider Mike Thurmond a lost cause. At least Thurmond will know how to find a local Career Center come January.

Yet both Johnny Isakson and Mike Thurmond have not stooped to posting insults or negative comments against each other on their campaign websites. I commend them for leaving the satire to bloggers such as myself....

To be fair, we should not overlook Georgia's Libertarian candidate for Senator. Chuck Donovan actually has an "attack ad," taking Johnny Isakson to task for voting to bail out banks. Maybe that's why you haven't see the ad on Columbus television - too many Synovus employees would be offended.

Oh yes - we mentioned the U.S. Senate race in Alabama. Incumbent Richard Shelby and Democrat William Barnes haven't bothered running any campaign commercials in Columbus. Barnes probably lacks the money - while Shelby probably assumes he's put enough money in pork-barrel spending in east Alabama already.

And what does it say about the Alabama election when controversial former candidate Dale Peterson makes a commercial not for William Barnes - but against Georgia's Roy Barnes? He's waiting for the SWAT team personnel to finish their training near Fort Benning, before sneaking his rifle across the state line.

-> Sunday night brought a thrilling moment in one form of online poker. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG CORRECTION: After further review of the InBox, we have a reversal. In the three-week period ending Friday, Michael Weaver of the National Alliance actually e-mailed us FOUR times compared with two from C.A. "Brother Love" Hardmon of the Grassroots Unity Movement for Change. I overlooked several messages which were not specifically for this blog -- and not even a write-in campaign for Mayor would guarantee his speeches appear.

C.A. Hardmon is trying to close the message gap -- but I need to make some phone calls before posting his latest e-mail. We'll see if they're possible on this Columbus Day. But while we wait, we'll check Sunday headlines:

+ Columbus had a high temperature of 88 degrees F., only one degree off the record high. Considering it was 10-10-10, wouldn't a low of ten degrees Celsius have been more appropriate?

+ WTVM reported the annual "Bikes and Badges" motorcycle ride was held in Harris and Troup Counties, benefiting Georgia Sheriff Youth Homes. One home near LaGrange allows troubled boys to work on a farm, "bailing hay, installing fences...." In other words, they eventually could be shipped from Georgia to the U.S.-Mexico border.

+ The LaGrange Daily News noted the 50^th anniversary of a campaign visit to Warm Springs by then-Presidential candidate John Kennedy. Imagine if Mr. Kennedy ran for President in 2010, instead of 1960. His meetings with Marilyn Monroe would have been analyzed for weeks on Fox News Channel by now.

+ The weekly Associated Press college football poll ranked Auburn in seventh place, while Alabama dropped to eighth. It's almost enough for Auburn football fans to put their Tommy Tuberville collectibles in the attic once and for all.

+ San Francisco rallied in the ninth inning to edge Atlanta 3-2 in the National League baseball playoffs. The winning run scored on Brooks Conrad's third error of the game. Can someone arrange a consoling phone call from Lauren Conrad, before tonight's fourth game?

+ Instant Message to everyone living on Nina Street in Columbus: Have you ever thought about holding a Columbus Day block party? Or did you realize the Nina was one of Christopher Columbus's three ships? I really don't think your street was named after jazz singer Nina Semone.

The Blog of Columbus had more than 38,000 unique visitors in the first nine months of this year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 696 (- 46, 6.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 OCT 10: Kill-o-Meter

Hey, look at that - today is 10-10-10. I assume GPB Radio and Television will celebrate by presenting a "three ten-ors" marathon....

Are you doing anything special to mark 10-10-10? Some people are celebrating the Ten Commandments. A Phenix City church sign notes Southern Baptists are marking World Hunger Sunday. I have nothing against those things. But I've decided to celebrate something else, which has plenty of tens - and no, it's NOT in Tennessee.

Listen to Geico's radio commercials, and you'll learn 10 October is National Metric Day. It's only logical, because the measuring system is based on multiples of ten. One meter consists of ten centimeters. A kilogram has 1,000 grams. And 100 kilograms of the wrong substance could mean ten years in prison.

I didn't realize until Saturday night that a U.S. Metric Association has been active in this country for 94 years - lobbying for our measurements to change to the metric system. But that effort has brought plenty of skeptics. They warn if you give the changers a millimeter, they'll take a kilometer -- or something like that.

My generation was supposed to be the one which would make the metric system commonplace in the U.S. For instance, the size of soda bottles changed from half-gallons to two liters. But sadly, those extra three-and-a-half ounces per bottle have produced a national epidemic of obesity.

I worked during college at a television station which gave the temperature in both Fahrenheit and Celsius. An annoyed older woman called the newsroom, complained to me about it and promised to call back later with a temperature conversion "pop quiz." She never called back -- perhaps suspecting our staff had her outnumbered.

But have you noticed Celsius temperatures aren't displayed anywhere in Columbus? The metric movement seems to have fizzled in recent years. The only time it seems to come out is for 5,000 and 10,000-meter runs. If you "10K" sprayed on a street in the Historic District right now, it is NOT a tip for finding cocaine.

I don't recall even seeing metric references on my visits to Fort Benning. Well, unless you consider signs referring to "1800 hours" metric....

This is a case where the old guard has prevailed, and the metric system has never taken hold in the U.S. I vaguely remember people saying years ago "metrication" would turn our country Socialist or Communist. But I don't recall those people explaining how the use of inches and gallons liberated eastern Europe in 1989.

There can be psychological advantages to metric measurements. I've mentioned here before the one time I drove faster than "100" on the highway - 105 kilometers per hour in the Netherlands and Germany, which sounds more impressive than 65 miles per hour.

Our record-hot summer in Columbus also could have used a return to metric measurements. We've had 108 days of temperatures hitting at least 90 degrees F. this year. That computes to 32 degrees Celsius. Doesn't that feel cooler already?

It might not take much to change the old-school resistance, and push the metric system forward. Imagine what could happen if the Miller brewery in Albany switched to half-liter bottles of beer. That's 16.9 ounces - and if the price stayed the same, Miller lovers would boast to their Bud-dies about how their beer makes them smarter.

And how about making football fields 100 meters long between the goal lines, instead of 100 yards? The difference computes to nine extra yards - and would make Isaiah Crowell's running for Carver High School even more record-breaking.

I'll stop the lobbying here, thank you for your (ahem) at-TEN-tion, and move on to some weekend news headlines:

+ Columbus Police reported a man was mugged on the Riverwalk at Fifth Street. Trouble was, WLTZ's report on the attack was filled with video from Seventh Street ABOVE the Riverwalk. Maybe now people will understand why other TV newscasts settle for using Google Maps....

(You may recall a Friday e-mail complained the use of Google Maps in television news was "cheap." But I seriously doubt WTVM gets to use that feature for free -- as much as I doubt Google was the party which misspelled "Capitol" on a couple of maps of Washington.)

+ Law officers shut down several Harris County convenience stores, in a crackdown on illegal gambling devices. I'm not sure why they didn't wait until today - and use 10-10-10 to seize machines showing 7-7-7.

+ Columbus Technical College opened the Robert Wright Health Sciences Center. Not only is there a nice new building, but a fancy entrance sign along River Road. It's not an electronic sign, though - perhaps to ensure visitors have no problems with their pacemakers.

+ Auburn High School rallied from behind to hand Phenix City Central its first loss 20-14. Things might have been different, had the Phenix City Council and School Board sat on the same side of the field....

+ Tuskegee topped Morehouse in their annual South Commons football classic 31-15. But as the crowd drifted to their cars well after dark, a 15-year-old was hit by a car in my neighborhood. A witness told me it happened in a section of First Avenue with no sidewalk. Yet both sides DO have sidewalks now -- and walking on the grass only means residents have less grass to mow.

+ South Carolina upset top-ranked Alabama 35-21. Steve Spurrier's team becomes this blog's unofficial national champion, and appears to be in line to win the Southeastern Conference Eastern Division - well, as long as they don't get too Cocky.

+ Auburn edged Kentucky on a last-second field goal 37-34. Then Auburn radio announcer Rod Bramblett dared to compare the Tigers to the legendary race horse Secretariat, with a heart two-and-a-half times normal size. Does Bramblett expect Auburn to whip Alabama by 25 points or something?

The Blog of Columbus had nearly 25,000 unique visitors in the first half of 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 742 (+ 26, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 OCT 10: Who's in Charge Here?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following items humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Today we get completely caught up on vacation e-mails. In the midst of our trip, this message reached us....

Did you receive the booklet I sent you via snail mail? How was the Fair?

It turns out I completely missed the Greater Columbus Fair. And I plan to skip the second fair at South Commons -- you know, today's Morehouse-Tuskegee game.

The e-mail and the booklet are the latest submissions from white rights activist Michael Weaver. I'm tempted to label him "publicity-starved" - but African-American activist Brother Love has sent twice as many e-mails to me over the last three weeks.

The booklet was a National Alliance publication called "Who Rules America?" It has nothing to do with the upcoming election, but focuses on the news and entertainment media. A quick scan suggests the author pins the control of practically everything on Jews. So much for the theory that Oprah Winfrey and Google are taking over the world.

Supporters of this "Jewish conspiracy" probably have been encouraged in recent days by what happened to Rick Sanchez. The CNN afternoon host was fired, after claiming in a radio interview Jewish people are not "an oppressed minority" in the U.S. Sanchez apparently learned his lesson - as he did NOT claim Friday Hispanic-American people like him are oppressed.

But at the local level, the Jewish conspiracy theory doesn't hold much matzo ball soup water. The top TV station in Columbus is owned by Raycom Media, which is a branch of Retirement Systems of Alabama. WTVM shows several Sunday church services, but nothing from synagogues. And last time I checked, RSA still allowed its Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail courses to be open on Saturdays.

The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer has been owned by McClatchy Newspapers for four years. Founder James McClatchy was born in Ireland, which some groups claim was visited by the Biblical prophet Jeremiah long ago. But that won't satisfy the National Alliance -- because it tends to be against Catholics, too.

At the national level, couldn't the rise of the Internet and blogging erode any alleged Jewish domination? Take the rise of the Huffington Post. Arianna Huffington's background includes Indian gurus, not Judaism -- so we ultimately could be trading kosher meats for no meat-eating at all.

But my real goal in scanning "Who Rules America?" was to see who SHOULD rule America - and to me, the National Alliance doesn't reach the right conclusion. It's rooting for Caucasian gentiles to take charge of the country, suggesting they're superior to all other ethnic or religious groups. Please don't bring up Timothy McVeigh or Jeffrey Dahmer around this group....

I'm not sure how much the National Alliance puts in the Bible. But the book of Romans tells me, "Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin.... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God...." Do you realize what this means? All those attack ads against political candidates actually could be right.

Romans 3 goes on to give the answer for this dilemma of sin - to be "justified freely by his [God's] grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." A few verses later, the Bible says calls for faith in the God of both Jews and Gentiles. That God may not seem the same when a Baptist church hosts a "Wild Game Supper," but He's supposed to be.

An event in Columbus two weeks from today is designed to point toward the right One to rule the U.S. Men will circle the Lakebottom Park football field to worship and pray on the morning of 23 October. It's a spinoff of the "Men at the Cross" campaign - except the Columbus event applies another Bible verse. Instead of selling tickets, John 8 says Jesus lets you be "free indeed."

The Bible shows eventually, every knee will bow simply to the name of Jesus - much less the "God-Man." He'll rule all nations, not simply America. And the National Alliance will have to explain how it overlooked Hebrews 7 for so long - and the verse which says "our Lord descended from Judah."

The Blog of Columbus had nearly 25,000 unique visitors in the first half of 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 716 (- 89, 11.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 OCT 10: Pricey Papers?

It's an inevitable part of the journalism business. Get to the bottom of one story, and suddenly five other people want you to get to the bottom of theirs. And if the "journalism business" won't do it, people will go to any outlet they can. It's sort of like a legal secretary calling her attorney boss, to request prescription drugs.

We've been trying to resolve one rumor a day since we returned from vacation. Today's item actually arrived by e-mail right before the road trip, three weeks ago....

Hello Richard,

I've noticed you have been doing well to keep anonymity on letters sent to you regarding things going on that need to be put to light. Since the TV stations are too lazy and cheap to do investigative stories (as they rely on Google Maps instead of using actual video with their stories), I want to make you aware of the following.

Last year, HUD gave Columbus over $700,000 to be used in the next three years for Homeless Prevention and Rapid Rehousing (HPRP). The HPRP program helps families who are either homeless or are facing homelessness and need assistance with rental, mortgage or utility payments in order to stay in their home.

Anyway, I was told by a reliable source that the Enrichment Services Program has to pay back to the HPRP program $200,000 because either:

1) Their paperwork did not verify that the clients requesting funds from the program actually meet the qualifications.

or

2) The paperwork didn't verify who the funds were being paid to such as landlords or utility companies.

3) Some other reason that I am not aware that would call for paying back the amount granted.

Liz Alcantara is the local agent (appointed by the City of Columbus) who is responsible for the handling of HPRP funds in Muscogee County. She is also the director of the Homeless Resource Network.

Alcantara is requiring Enrichment Services to payback $200K otherwise the City of Columbus would have to pay up when it's time to report to HUD.

Belva Dorsey is the CEO of Enrichment Services....

This message leaves out an important fourth option - that the source may not be reliable at all. But of course, that's the option which would hurt the most and be funny the least.

"Completely erroneous" is how Mark McCollum described sections of this report to me Thursday. McCollum directs the Columbus city government Community Reinvestment program, which oversees the federal homeless money. He quoted the exact amount as $740,903 - perhaps allowing for beggars to raise 97 more, to round out the total.

Mark McCollum explained we're talking here about federal stimulus money. And indeed, it's a two-part program. Part of the grant helps homeless people find housing. Another part helps people avoid foreclosures. This format means the two groups probably won't cross paths -- and no handover of furniture allows the economy to grow.

But what about the Enrichment Services Program? Mark McCollum told me the agency has "not paid back anything, nor has it been asked to." That leaves the impression everything there is above board. But I admittedly didn't ask if the $200,000 has been moved temporarily to a Swiss bank account.

Liz Alcantara with the Homeless Resource Network referred me to the city, after saying she was working with the Enrichment Services Program on the HPRP money. If only the federal government had called this the "Homeless Prevention and Housing Program" - so we could call it HiP-HoP.

Mark McCollum put it bluntly - nothing happened involving the Enrichment Services Program, and the report is a "falsification." But E.S.P. chief executive Belva Dorsey put it a little differently when I talked with her. She said the Homeless Resource Network asked her to submit revised paperwork, in a different format. So this all could be a matter of Microsoft Excel versus Microsoft Word.

Belva Dorsey added the revised paperwork was submitted to the Homeless Resource Network more than a week ago. But she agreed that the Enrichment Services Program has NOT been asked to pay back any money. So compared with an E.S.P. preschool kitchen recently flunking a city health inspection, that could be an improvement.

The larger issue for me in all this is how Columbus city government is spending more than $200,000 per year on homelessness. A task force report this week indicated more than 1,500 people are homeless in Columbus on a typical night. So the stimulus grant comes to less than $200 per homeless person - which I don't think could even cover a down payment in Bibb City.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Oh dear - it appears Thursday's Blog Exclusive with the Columbus Mayor didn't please anybody. The first message reached us during the morning....

Mr. Burkard,

I have read your blog regarding the conversation you had with Mayor yesterday. Pretty good job, and I do appreciate a good, humorous take on events.

I just wanted to let you know that I am the Executive Assistant to Mayor Wetherington and have been for these four years. My main duty for him has been to keep his calendar and point him in the right direction for meetings and events, taking care of his mail, etc. I do many other things in my position as well. Since Judy Thomas, Executive to the Mayor, left (we miss her very much), I have taken on as much of her work as I am able. The office also has two Administrative Assistants in the front office to answer calls as well as countless other duties. We are down to bare bones in terms of personnel to handle all the work with which this office deals.

I say all that to just let you know of the personnel and hierarchy in this office. AND I wanted you to know that I know what a blog is and how to create one, how to subscribe and read one. It was not me to whom you spoke yesterday when you called. I am not saying that I feel as comfortable in speaking for Mayor Wetherington as Judy was, but I am able to answer some questions and certainly to make sure you get the answers you want and/or need from him.... I look forward to speaking with you anytime.

Well, that wasn't too funny, was it? I'm sorry but I was a little offended at your remark about his current assistant not knowing what a blog is.

Yours in humor,

Jennifer Butcher

Executive Assistant to

Mayor Jim Wetherington

I didn't name which "assistant" answered the phone at the mayor's office - but indeed it was NOT Jennifer Butcher. Butchers do know how to cut people down to size, don't they?

I also didn't realize Mayor Jim Wetherington actually has three "assistants" -- at least with that word in their titles. If they think that's a "bare bones" staff, imagine what could happen if Paul Olson becomes mayor. His "desk" could move into the lobby, so he can answer all the calls himself.

So my apologies for not understanding the structure of the mayor's office. And now for the other side -- an e-mail which came Thursday night:

Mr. Burkard,

The Godson issue is hardly the meat and potatoes issue here. The factual evidence of double standard is the real issue. With all that we know has occurred, the shameless favoritism, would all at least make some sense if Chief Meyer were the mayor's Godson.

However, it is not hard whatsoever to determine who is telling the truth and who is not telling you the truth.

Through the Georgia Open Records act you may request the February 9, 2009 document generated from a cursory investigation pursuant to CFEMS Battalion Chief Janice Bruner's Fair Treatment Report submitted to HR Director Tom Barron. Internal Auditor John Redmond recommended a comprehensive top to bottom investigation of CFEMS in that report. With the serious issues that Chief Bruner listed in her report, there is no logical reason that the mayor would not act on the internal auditor's recommendation except that he was protecting Chief Meyer.

Chief Bruner submitted a letter stating that there were witnesses that would testify support her claim higher ranking officers had committed the same acts before. John Redmond never spoke to these witnesses during his investigation. Why would he not? You can get the document upon request .

There is documented evidence that Chief Bruner informed higher ranking officers in a letter dated February 4, 2008 of the incidents with 2 inch screws and damage to vehicle tires, which was all before the December 2007 incident with the BC's vehicle. You can get that document. Chief Meyer told the mayor it was 13 months before he heard anything of the vehicle incidents. The mayor told the Council the same story and John Remond also told Council the 13 months lapse in time was an impediment to his investigation. The documented evidence shows no such issue in the report. It only became a factor when the mayor claimed it was the truth. Truth is it was not.

There are numerous documents you or you audience may purchase or review under the Georgia Open Records Act. No one has to take my word. In fact, I do not ask you to take my word. The mayor only gives you his word because he cannot offer you factual documented evidence. He will bring Chief Meyer before the Council but neither councilors nor mayor will summon Chief Bruner and ask he questions on CCG-TV. What does the mayor and Council not want taxpayer's to know about this entire situation? I contend that the mayor cannot order an independent audit or an independent GBI investigation because he knows the CFEMS cannot withstand the scrutiny. It will reveal too much.

If we are lying all the mayor has to do is present documentation that the employee in question had those 88 hours pay that were awarded to him. He cannot produce one shred of documented evidence to support the claim the employee had the time. We have never seen such evidence and that evidence would have been public information. What you have when you purchase or review the February 2009 investigation report conducted by John Redmond is Chief Meyer claiming the employee had the time he was awarded. There is no proof presented to the internal auditor. There is no proof in the record. John Redmond does nor demand proof as internal auditor or compliance officer. How would that even occur after the formal complaint of one of the highest ranking officers in the field?

What you will find in the record is a number of days and hours that were altered in Lotus Notes at Command Central for it to appear Battalion Chief Bruner herself committed fraud.

Do the Open Records requests and the information speaks out for itself. Have the mayor to produce documents to back up what he is saying and prove every word of what we have claimed since June is a lie. He never has and he never will. If he could he would have by now. Any citizen with an ounce of sense knows all the allegations I have leveled against the mayor, not a one of them has he actually refuted. He simply talks around the issue and blows smoke. He is hoping he can continue to play the public for fools for the next 90 days.

Chief Bruner could prove the employee did not nor could not have had the 88 hours he was awarded by Central Command. Central Command officers never proved the employee had the time. It is just that simple.

If the mayor has documented evidence, I publicly challenge him to produce it to refute the illegal awarding of these 88 hours that Chief Bruner reported were awarded but unearned by an employee. The citizens deserve more than his word if he has more than his word. If he cannot produce, you then know the truth. All he has given us so far is smoke and mirrors. I doubt if you ask him anymore on the subject you get as much as you got the first time.

Sadly, our fellow citizens are not interested in CFEMS tax dollars going missing. Parks and Recreation dollars are more important to them just like they are to Mayor Wetherington.

God bless,

Brother Love, Director

Grassroots Unity Movement for Change

It may sadden C.A. "Brother Love" Hardmon even more to read this - I suspect more Columbus residents were interested in the denied rumor about the mayor's alleged godson than 88 hours of time cards.

Instead of having me pay for copies of Columbus city auditor documents, wouldn't it be nice if ALL of John Redmond's reports were posted on the city website? They don't seem to be there. In fact, a search for "parks audit" didn't bring up any of the documents that led to the firing of Tony Adams. Recreation centers will never get any shuffleboard courts this way.

Oh yes - the latest e-mail from C.A. Hardmon was titled: "Mendacity, Mendacity, Mendacity." Your homework assignment for the holiday weekend is to properly use that word in one of his paragraphs....

We'll work on other fiery issues while you do that -- but now let's check the relatively quiet news of Thursday:

+ Several Columbus radio stations spent the entire day off the air. The websites of co-owned WDAK and WHAL explain transmitter work is being done this week. But what's wrong with WFRC-FM, the Family Radio station? Did their President misfigure his dates, and the world really is ending THIS month - one year early?

+ The Synovus board of directors named Kessel Stelling permanent President/Chief Executive Officer. The ailing Richard Anthony left that position in June, and now will become Chairman of the Board. With Synovus stock still selling for less than three dollars, no one is mispronouncing the name as "Kessel Stellar" quite yet.

+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce introduced a new promotional campaign called "I am the Chamber." Somewhere in Chambers County, organizations must be kicking themselves for not thinking of that slogan first....

+ Georgia congressional candidate Mike Keown made campaign appearances in Columbus. So many campaign ads contain Keown's quote about doing "crazy things" that he should have his Election Night party at Loco's Grill.

+ Callaway corralled Spencer in high school football 47-7. This season is reaching the point that Spencer might want to borrow from the European news headlines - and change its nickname from Green Wave to Red Sludge.

+ Atlanta opened the baseball playoffs with a controversial 1-0 loss to San Francisco. The Giants' run scored after Buster Posey was called safe on a steal of second base. Atlanta's broadcasters declared that the wrong call - but if manager Bobby Cox didn't run out to argue, the umpires must have been right for once.

CORRECTED: + Instant Message to St. Luke United Methodist Church: I noticed the title of this weekend's sermon - "When a Good Case Is Not So Good." Is Mark Shelnutt delivering that message?

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7 OCT 10: Wetherington - the Storm

If you think it's easy to be a blogger, think again. A caller Wednesday suggested I'm "borderline insane," and wondered aloud if I'm "queer." I'm NOT the latter, don't think I'm the former - and imagine what people might say if I ran for political office.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: It can't be easy to be mayor, either - especially when a blogger has to ask uncomfortable questions. We put one to Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington Wednesday. See if you can find it, embedded in this lengthy e-mail....

Richard,

Have you notice that the mayor has never really addressed the issue of the unauthorized awarding of unearned time to an employee that was exposed by a Battalion Chief to Human Resources Director Tom Barron. Mayor Wetherington has publicly stated "You cannot turn you back when certain people break the law." He has said "It is not about White and Black, it is about wrong and right." He has said "Good people make mistakes, and when they make mistakes they have to be PUNISHED. Since this entire flap began about the audit and subsequent hasty investigation Wetherington says African Americans have called him and they want the same thing "White folks" want. Interestingly, we have a mayor that cannot even bring himself to say the words "equal justice."

Jim Wetherington deliberately applies a clear double standard in all these cases. He touts zero tolerance and punishment when it is Herman Porter Tony Adams and Parks and Recreation or Vivian Creighton Bishop and Greg Countryman and the Junior Marshal's Program. He wanted to call in the GBI in the Junior Marshal's Program case. He refuses to call a GBI independent investigation of Columbus Fire & EMS or of Parks and Recreation since the GBI did investigate the Junior Marshal's Program and found no criminal conduct. Subsequent to the GBI investigation exonerating the Municipal Court Clerk and Muscogee County Marshal Mayor Jim Wetherington has never mentioned calling the GBI to investigate anything in Columbus as he cannot control the outcome or direction of the investigation as Public Safety Director.

The mayor has been inconsistent and contradictory in words, deeds, and actions when you compare his decisions regarding Parks and Recreation and his decisions regarding Fire & EMS, whereas he had infinitely more reason to launch a criminal investigation based on known facts and documented evidence present to him by one of the highest ranking members in the field with the CFEMS.

In the CFEMS case regarding Chief Jeff Myer the mayor is publicly supportive and totally confident in Chief Myer's word alone. He avoids the documented evidence and misleads the public with his answers and arguments. Every statement the mayor makes excuses or explains away anything that Jeff Myer is said to have done wrong, every statement is a helpful positive statement. He tells NAACP President Edward DuBose that CFEMS Chief Jeff Myer should be promoted and that he believes everything Jeff has said. Just the opposite words or sentiments exist all through the record regarding Tony Adams and Parks and Recreation.

The mayor never asked Tony Adams any questions when the audit was leaked. He called in police before Adams could even officially respond to the audit, which ensures the situation would escalate and become more costly and difficult. Tony does not get to explain. Likewise, Vivian Creighton Bishop and Marshal Greg Countryman are 2 floors down from the mayor's office and are both county-wide elected officials like the mayor. Nevertheless, you have a certain remarkable lack of respect and absence of benefit of the doubt and professional courtesy. Jeff Myer and Warden Bill Adamson are appointed officials that Jim Wetherington has openly treated with more courtesy and respect than these fellow Democrats and elected officials.

In Parks and Recreation and the Junior Marshal's Program cases the mayor relies heavily on facts derived from audits conducted by John Redmond in drawing his conclusions and making his decisions. However, when it comes to Jeff Myer and CFEMS the Internal Auditor does a preliminary investigation pursuant to Battalion Chief Janice Bruner's Fair Treatment Report and in a February 10, 2009 report to the mayor recommends a comprehensive audit of CFEMS. That audit was never ordered by the mayor. Neither Chief Bruner's complaints nor the Internal Auditor's investigation were ever shared with the Columbus Council, but incriminating evidence in the Junior Marshal's Program payroll audit was.

You have evidence of both lying and breaking the law on the part of the mayor. The mayor himself actually is guilty of violating a City Ordinance 25 times regarding the final disposition of internal audits. I went before Columbus Council and proved with documented evidence Chief Myer lied and the mayor lied about the period that elapsed time before Battalion Chief Bruner reported the incident which endangered her life and the alteration of time cards, Lotus Notes, to award unearned time to an employee.

If it is about wrong and right, the mayor is seriously confused about what wrong and right is and how you apply basic fairness and justice to cases that that happen to involve Black and White people. Mayor Wetherington openly practices one gospel while preaching another, and the facts, documented and otherwise, bears this out. The facts are there and the evidence of favoritism and discrimination, and deceit scream out against Jim Wetherington while Council turns a blind eye and deaf ear. What Jim Wetherington has been allowed to do as our mayor has set this city back 40-50 years and has eroded the moral fiber of this community. He cannot utter the words equal justice for all because he believes in equal justice for the "quiet majority" he has alluded to at City Council since he began the public persecution of Tony Adams and Herman Porter.

Thought you might be interested in the glaring inconsistencies that are a lot more than coincidence by all means, especially since Jeff Myer is Wetherington's reported godson. This is the kind of corruption that makes Columbus all the poorer.

Take care,

Brother Love, Director

Grassroots Unity Movement for Change

Oh dear -- if you didn't know better, this letter might make you think Wetherington actually is running for re-election.

A dispute about fire department time cards -- well, that's kind of wonky. But a claim of semi-familial relations between the mayor and the fire chief? Ahhh -- now that's right up a humor blogger's alley. It's not quite good enough to sell to TMZ, but it's well on the way....

The title of C.A. "Brother Love" Hardmon's e-mail labeled the Columbus Mayor a "Boss Tweed." But what he sent left me wondering if Jim Wetherington was more like.... uh-oh. I have to be careful here. What I write next could invite a lawsuit, along the lines of what The Courier faced. But if Jeff Meyer is the Godson, wouldn't that make the mayor a Godfather?

"I don't know where they come up with such...." even the mayor picked his words carefully for a moment; "falsities with that." In other words, Jim Wetherington denies he's the godfather of the fire chief. I personally think he'd be more likely to accept that title for a high-ranking police officer....

Mayor Jim Wetherington admitted he's heard the godson rumors, too. He speculated they may have started because his son and Fire Chief Jeff Meyer went to Hardaway High School together. We could also speculate the red Hardaway sports jerseys inspired Meyer to join the fire department.

So there - can we stop the godson grumbling once and for all? If anyone has proof the fire chief is the godson of the mayor, please bring it forward. And while you're at it, see if Orly Taitz will serve as your attorney.

But I think Brother Love really wanted me to focus on his larger issue. Trouble is, Mayor Jim Wetherington says the time card issue was settled a year ago, in a meeting with Fire Chief Jeff Meyer and Battalion Chief Janice Bruner. He seemed frustrated that people keep bringing it up -- as if they're running up overtime.

Mayor Wetherington told me Janice Bruner kept her own "time card" records, separate from the official forms Columbus Fire/EMS employees fill out by computer. He concluded the official time cards were correct, and the employees in question were entitled to extra pay. Otherwise.... well, uh.... firefighters could have been "hosed."

"I can't help what people think," Jim Wetherington said when I asked him about complaints of a double standard. I admittedly didn't mention the "40-50 years" part of the e-mail - even though the current mayor is one of the few people in Columbus who could recall who was Fire Chief 50 years ago.

Since the mayor considers the time card issue resolved, he sees no need to pursue a further investigation. The critics who count 25 violations of city rules when it comes to audits might want to call the District Attorney's office. If Julia Slater recuses herself as she did with Mark Shelnutt, their dreams of state agents will come true.

While I had the mayor on the phone, I asked him about the upcoming city election. Jim Wetherington told me he will NOT endorse any other candidates, beyond former assistant and current Columbus Council contender Judy Thomas. I'm sorry if that ruins Paul Olson's plans for a big comeback in the mayor's race....

(If you're thinking back to that lunch the mayor shared with Roy Barnes at the Royal Café - well, maybe he was there because Barnes picked up the bill.)

After 45 months in office, this was my first direct interview with Mayor Jim Wetherington. Before now, Judy Thomas was able to answer all my questions concerning the mayor's office. But she had to resign from city government to run for Council - and the current assistant in the mayor's office apparently wasn't trained in what a blog is.

I know better than to presume possible ulterior motives -- but perhaps Brother Love brought all this up because he wants Columbus city candidates to bring it up. Mayoral candidate Teresa Tomlinson denied last month she plans to fire the Fire Chief. The opponent most likely to make Jeff Meyer an issue still hasn't done it - unless Zeph Baker is leaving that for his father's sermons.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG UPDATE: Was Jimmy Wetzel telling the truth, when he said an ethics complaint had been filed against the Phenix City School Superintendent? We called the Alabama Ethics Commission Wednesday to find out - and the answer is: we don't know. Some people in Montgomery tend to keep their lips sealed better than the Phenix City Council.

Hugh Evans with the Alabama Ethics Commission told me he cannot confirm or deny ANY filing. But if something criminal occurred, a complaint would be passed to the Alabama Attorney General's office. If the Commission has an opinion in a matter, it will be announced. And if someone brings up Nick Saban, the complainant might want to move to another state and hide.

The Alabama Ethics Commission hasn't issued an opinion involving Phenix City government in at least 15 years. I found a 1999 case where the commission ruled Russell County Appraiser J.W. Brannen could run for the county commission "on his own time." Since then, Brannen has advanced well on his way to holding every public office in the city and county.

A couple of other juicy rumors are in our pipeline, for potential denial in coming days. But now let's check things which actually happened Wednesday:

+ The Lee County Sheriff's Office hosted a conference of Alabama SWAT team personnel. But the evening news showed them training in Chattahoochee County. Auburn fans with RV's must camp out at Chewacla State Park earlier than I realized.

(Isn't this amazing - armed Alabama men in camouflage outfits crossing well into Georgia for training? The Columbus Tea Party simply must get better organized, to stop this....)

+ Dozens of Muscogee County children marked International Walk to School Day. Who knows how many of their parents and grandparents once joined in a college "walk OUT on school" protest day?

+ ABC "World News" presented a report on the Georgia Works program, which is placing thousands of unemployed people in new jobs. The report included an interview with Labor Commissioner and U.S. Senate candidate Mike Thurmond. What does it say when Thurmond has one free interview to counter all those paid Johnny Isakson ads?

+ Instant Message to Muscogee County School Board member Cathy Williams: I'm shocked - SHOCKED! You held a NeighborWorks Columbus event Wednesday, and did NOT wear a re-election sticker? Judy Thomas at the Open Door Community House never would have forgotten that.

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6 OCT 10: Show and Tell

Well, well -- Phenix City officials have much more on their minds than military flyovers at high school football games. In fact, they talked Tuesday as if the military might need to intervene to make peace with the School Board.

The Phenix City Council meeting was about to end quietly, when Councilor Jimmy Wetzel decided to reveal some of the city's concerns with the school district. He indicated the district may have serious ethical problems. And since the school board is NOT elected, the city can't run "attack ads" on TV against it.

Jimmy Wetzel spoke in behalf of Mayor Sonny Coulter, saying he has "full support" of the Phenix City Council to meet with the school board. It's nice to see these feuding city officials have buried the.... no, wait a minute. The hatchet is still out, and now it's pointed at other people.

Jimmy Wetzel revealed the Alabama Ethics Commission is reviewing a complaint that someone in the school system did work on Superintendent Larry DiChiara's car. So? As long as the shop teacher determined the grade for that work....

(That punch line may not be so far-fetched. The school district's Twitter feed says the high school wrestling team is trying to raise money by doing "odd jobs." So the heavyweight wrestler could lift the Superintendent's car, while a middleweight changed a muffler.)

Jimmy Wetzel added the Russell County District Attorney is prosecuting three cases of improper relationships in the Phenix City Schools. Wetzel described them as teacher-student, teacher-teacher and even "superintendents and administrators." Uh-oh - did Booth's Corner Café close to hide some steamy evidence?

Jimmy Wetzel also said there are complaints of nepotism in Phenix City Schools - because one school board member has five relatives working for the district. Yet so far, Wetzel has NOT offered a motion to investigate why so many elected officials in Russell County have been named Sumbry.

Mayor Sonny Coulter says he wants to meet privately with the Phenix City School Board about these accusations and others, but the board has refused to cooperate. Perhaps it's because such a private meeting would violate the Alabama Open Meetings Act. Or perhaps it's because a public meeting could generate enough ticket sales to pay the debts on the Freshman Academy.

Superintendent Larry DiChiara told the evening news he wants to meet with Phenix City's mayor - but in a "proper manner." In other words, Sonny Coulter should arrange this through "Rise-n-Shine" host Calvin Floyd....

Amazingly, high school football again is not far from the surface in this feud. Phenix City Superintendent Larry DiChiara admitted Tuesday there's a dispute over whether the school district should pay part of the city's cost to maintain Garrett-Harrison Stadium. After all, pushing lawnmowers in the summer is a great way to keep players in shape.

The Superintendent admitted the dispute about Garrett-Harrison Stadium is so bad, he's looked around for other places where Phenix City Central could play home football games. The field at Glenwood School is named after former mayor Sammy Howard, you know....

In other cities, the City Manager might be intervening as a mediator right now. But you may recall Phenix City Manager Wallace Hunter made an angry phone call to Superintendent Larry DiChiara one night last October [24 Nov 09] - and apparently the U.S. Secretary of State has been too concerned about Israel to settle that.

One person told me online Tuesday night what Phenix City really needs is "federal intervention," to resolve all these disputes. I think there's a less expensive answer, only a few miles down the road. Have things calmed down enough in Hurtsboro for Robert Schweiger to ride to the rescue?

Yes, Columbus has some complaints of its own. In fact, we have phone calls pending from a couple of e-mails about them. So those will wait for now, and move on to other Tuesday topics:

+ WRBL reported a late-night fire left minor damage at the KFC on Milgen Road. This is why I do NOT order spicy wings.

+ Two women pleaded guilty to stealing $450,000 from accounts at Fourth Street Baptist Church. It's not clear to me what they did with the money -- but if I searched long enough, I might find a new sanctuary with their names on a plaque at the door.

+ The final flight of Third Brigade soldiers arrived at Fort Benning from Iraq. An army spokesperson told WTVM about 5,000 troops have flown home in the last few weeks - so now the sales of top-dollar dinners at Huddle House on Victory Drive may drop a bit.

+ The Fearsome Foursome candidates for Columbus Mayor held their 34^th election forum - this time on environmental issues. Teresa Tomlinson made a good try, by wearing a green dress. But Zeph Baker has had green on his campaign signs for months. As long as this promotional truck outside the Government Center is a hybrid....

(Have you noticed how Roy Barnes is practicing recycling? His campaign line on TV about "the rest of the nation laughing at us" used to apply to the Georgia Legislature - but this week he's talking about Nathan Deal.)

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue told GPB Radio since he took office, the state has grown better in managing its money. When Georgia has hardly any money left to spend, I guess it WOULD be easier....

+ Wells Fargo announced it has converted all Wachovia branches in Alabama to the new merger name. I noticed this while driving through Phenix City this week. The Wells Fargo teller actually was happy to change my big bill - and did NOT give me a lecture about the importance of having a check card.

+ Columbus Regional held a women's cancer awareness luncheon at the Trade Center - and guest speaker Emory Austin appeared wearing a pink wig. Wow, I don't think even the singer Pink pulls a stunt like that anymore....

+ The pop band Hot Chelle Rae performed a free afternoon concert at Extreme Marine on Northlake Parkway. Talk about a strange place to hold a concert! Is there a city rule banning Club H-2-O from opening before 8:00 p.m.?

(I'll admit it - I'd never heard of Hot Chelle Rae before Tuesday. When I heard the name, I thought it had something to do with the September heat wave.)

+ Troy trounced Middle Tennessee 42-13 in college football. They must have played on a Tuesday night at the request of ESPN - to avoid having all of its networks show poker at the same time.

+ Instant Message to the University of Georgia Athletic Department: Good idea - introducing "UGA VIII" the bulldog at this weekend's football game. The last thing you need is for fans to blame that four-game losing streak on the head coach.

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5 OCT 10: The Plane Truth

"I have no comment on that." When a City Manager gives that response to your big question of the day, it doesn't really stop a rumor. In fact, it's a bit like grabbing a bottle of vodka to pour on a stove fire.

Phenix City Manager Wallace Hunter didn't want to say much Monday about the latest rumor involving Central High School football. A reader told me the city had barred plans for a military flyover, before this weekend's game against Auburn. The visitors may have "War Eagles," but the home team supposedly wanted Black Hawks -- as in helicopters.

Perhaps I should stop right here, and clear up the rumors once and for all. The President of the Phenix City Central Booster Club tells me there was NO plan for a military flyover this Friday night. The city can't veto something which never was planned - even though I'm sure some residents would like an ordinance outlawing nude dancing at the Amphitheatre.

Friday WILL be Military Appreciation Night at Garrett-Harrison Stadium. The Fort Benning Infantry Band will perform before the game, and soldiers in the stands will be honored. But NO fireworks will be launched for the Central football team -- in part to avoid lawsuits over post-traumatic stress disorder.

Yet memories still linger over last fall's Phenix Friday Football Fireworks Flap (tm). A misunderstanding about setting off explosives led to an explosive exchange between the Phenix City Manager and school officials. These days, the School Board President's chair might as well be borrowed from an air force jet - complete with an ejection seat.

Given what happened last fall, this rumor of a possible "Phenix football flyover" simply had to be checked. If people living around Garrett-Harrison Stadium were shaken by fireworks before, imagine what military aircraft might do - such as bringing Christine O'Donnell to Alabama, to claim it's a Chinese plot to conquer the U.S.

So I started Monday afternoon by calling Phenix City Hall. Eventually I chatted with City Manager Wallace Hunter, and heard his "no comment" comment. "I've gotta watch what I say," Hunter added - as if Mayor Sonny Coulter might move for his dismissal, too.

Wallace Hunter urged me to call the Phenix City Mayor or Council for a comment on the football flyover rumor. But the City Manager revealed he's received "no request from a school official" -- and he called the rumor "an attempt to make the city look bad." No, this claim did NOT come from the Columbus Chamber of Commerce....

The next person to call about this rumor was clearly NOT a Phenix City official. It was the President of the Central High School Booster Club. Chris Blackshear said he had no idea why I might be calling him -- then quickly explained several ways he's tried to make peace with the city since last fall. It's almost as if he feared my phone was wiretapped.

"Do I want to have a flyover at a home game? Absolutely," Chris Blackshear told me. "Did I want to do it this Friday night? Absolutely not." But Blackshear asked the Federal Aviation Administration for paperwork about a flyover before the 3 September home opener. He discovered federal paperwork can move slower than a defensive lineman with a recovered fumble.

Chris Blackshear says he's trying to "bring the city together," after the fireworks fuss of last fall. He now realizes Phenix City schools rent Garrett-Harrison Stadium from the city, so city rules take priority. For instance, a children's "fun zone" was stopped after the August pre-season game against Carver due to concerns about liability. It's now B.Y.O.B. - Bring Your Own Bouncer.

Chris Blackshear hopes to meet with Phenix City officials early next year, so ideas for the 2011 high school football season can be discussed well in advance. In the meantime, Central Booster Club celebrations are being kept in check on purpose. And somehow through it all, Central is unbeaten through six games.

BLOG UPDATE: While we're focusing on Phenix City, a reader alerted us to a business development there. Booth's Corner Café on 16^th Street closed last week, after ten years of downtown dining. Too bad it couldn't stay open through football season, to allow plenty of "Booth reviews."

(The reader replied to our Sunday post -- noting with this closing, the Phenix City Mayor and School Board President now might never meet at all.)

I ate at Booth's Corner Café only one memorable morning - the day Phenix City and Columbus were damaged by Hurricane Ivan [17 Sep 04]. As the wind blew and the lights flickered, Catholic priest Thomas Weise walked in. He kept things relatively calm, by NOT attempting to exorcise a demon from the restaurant.

The restaurant report isn't much better at the other end of downtown Phenix City. Deda's at Dillingham and Broad has shut down - the latest in a series of ideas to fail at that corner, from a chicken restaurant to a blues club. All Phenix City residents can say now is, "Oh, the Deda days...."

Events in Alabama seemed to dominate the Monday news as well....

+ Victoryland owner Milton McGregor and four Alabama State Senators were indicted, on federal charges of attempting to buy legislative votes. Someone mentioned McGregor's arrest at my Monday night poker tournament - and I said in response: "He could be a loser, too."

(One of the 11 people indicted in the case is Ronnie Gilley - the man who proposed building the Phenixian condominium complex in downtown Phenix City. It's quite a fall down the elevator, from high-rise to lowlife....)

+ Rep. Sanford Bishop held a public forum at a Columbus nursing home on preserving Medicare and Social Security. Bishop told WLTZ he signed a pledge NOT to privatize Social Security. Campaign opponent Mike Keown might not want to privatize it - but he sounds like he'd add monthly handling fees.

+ Alabama football coach Nick Saban told reporters his staff did some checking - and since 2005, Southeastern Conference teams are 29-29 in games after "bye weeks." So the Crimson Tide apparently doesn't have to worry about South Carolina this weekend. Except if Saban's asking for a five-year check of this detail, he actually might be worried.

+ Instant Message to Georgia Power: Thanks for the letter you sent me Monday, about the change to "Smart Meters." But did you consult your energy-sniffing dogs about this? If the new electric meters are read "remotely," some of their friends will have fewer people to chase every month.

Today's main topic was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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4 OCT 10: Freedom From Fear

So how would you like your life today? Sweet, pure and antiseptic? Or down, dirty and brutally honest? That's the issue in our main topic of the day - and amazingly, it has nothing to do with campaign commercials.

Some Harris County parents have been upset for days, about what a teacher read aloud at New Mountain Hill Elementary School. WTVM reports third and fourth-graders heard a variation of "Little Red Riding Hood," where people do NOT "live happily ever after." But it could have been worse - as there's probably a "Family Guy" parody of the story online somewhere.

The version read at New Mountain Hill was based on a European tale called "Little Red Hat" - where the girl comes across an ogre, instead of a wolf. What do these parents have against ogres? This sort of attitude could explain why Columbus and Harris County have no Kroger stores.

But anyway: the ogre in the fictional "Little Red Hat" kills a grandmother, then leaves parts of the victim's body around the house for the girl to discover. That shouldn't really be surprising. You don't have to change many letters to turn ogre into gore....

And that's the complaint raised by New Mountain Hill parents - that "Little Red Hat" was too gory a story to tell to grade-school children. In fact, it reportedly gave some students nightmares. I assume these parents also don't tell their children about the growing national debt they're going to inherit.

Harris County School Superintendent Craig Dowling agrees with the protesters - that "Little Red Hat" was not appropriate to tell to third and fourth-grade students. If the students watch "C.S.I." or "Bones" at home on television, that's obviously a different matter....

But this comment by the Harris County Superintendent struck me as curious: "We are not in the business of scaring children. We're in the business of educating them." The rules must be different there, compared with Muscogee County - where teenagers view a bloody ambulance drama at the Civic Center every year, and no one seems to complain.

My point is this: doesn't the education process involve fear to some extent? For instance....

+ Aren't grade-school children still warned about what could happen, simply by carelessly crossing the street? After all, a few Harris County schools ARE located along major highways....

+ Don't teachers still threaten to take rebellious or unruly students to "The Office?" Or has that title been diluted by the comedy with Steve Carrell?

+ Aren't youngsters told (ahem) in "sex education" classes about what premarital sex could bring? Or do today's teachers simply assume their students watch "Teen Mom" on MTV?

+ Don't teachers tell students about the fiery punishment potentially awaiting them when they.... oh, wait a minute. This happened at a public school, not Calvary Christian.

As much as we'd like to paint perfect pictures of peace and love to our children, let's be honest - the world at times can be a scary place. Some adults actually use "Little Red Riding Hood" to warn youngsters about the risk of talking to strangers. Reveal the location of Grandma's house, and a modern-day "wolf" might try to sell her a bogus home remodeling plan.

But at New Mountain Hill Elementary, parents are receiving an apology for the story of "Little Red Hat." The teacher who recited the story even plans a personal apology to youngsters. And the final step to balance this out would be a luncheon with the "Red Hat Ladies."

-> We did something during our vacation that some say we should NOT have done. Read about it at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Only a couple of readers sent messages while we were away. We're holding one for this coming Saturday, but here's the other....

I've heard of shooting fish in a barrel, but I've always assumed that was just an expression. But shooting birds in a bird feeder? [26 Sep] That's pretty whack!

John D

After thinking this over, my neighbors may have picked up that idea by watching cartoons. Have you noticed Wile E. Coyote always marked the "free bird seed" for the Road Runner with a sign written in English?

Other birds are ahead, as we review the news of the weekend....

+ The Gang of Four Columbus mayoral candidates gathered for another forum, this time at the main library. This was their 33^rd forum of the year - so instead of asking each other questions, I think the candidates now should take turns reciting each other's answers.

+ Outgoing Mayor Jim Wetherington appeared in a TV commercial, endorsing former assistant Judy Thomas for Columbus Council. Thomas could have done much more with this - such as calling Wetherington "Chief" and putting on a police officer's hat.

(I'm waiting for someone to play the "partisan politics" card with Judy Thomas. Her "JT" logo looks a lot like a Republican elephant to me.)

+ The Kia plant in West Point launched a second shift, producing Hyundais. Take that, Alabama! First Georgia takes some of the automotive work away from Montgomery - and next, Georgia will need all the water in the Chattahoochee River to keep building them.

+ Auburn laughed at Louisiana-Monroe in college football 52-3. The game was so lopsided that Tiger quarterback Cam Newton never ran with the ball. That might please the Auburn coaches - but the radio announcers probably are concerned Newton will be rusty next week.

+ Georgia lost its fourth football game in a row. As Colorado completed a 29-27 win, Buffalo fans ran onto Folsom Field to celebrate. Either they didn't realize the Bulldogs have a losing record - or they forgot Ralphie the Buffalo also runs across that field.

+ Atlanta's baseball team advanced to the National League playoffs by edging Philadelphia 8-7. A divisional series opens Thursday night in San Francisco - and based on another Sunday sports event in Georgia, Atlanta should win in five games.

The Blog of Columbus had nearly 25,000 unique visitors in the first half of 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 OCT 10: Weeks of Happiness?

"Did anything happen while I was gone?" I asked my next-door neighbor when I returned home from vacation Friday.

"Nope," the neighbor answered. "Everything was happy." Well, great! Maybe even Paul Olson was able to smile once or twice.

So let's wrap things up for But wait a minute - I admittedly knew better, and I asked my neighbor that question on purpose. I really didn't expect a two-week news summary from this retired man. He doesn't even have a telephone, so people who want to spread rumors have to visit him personally.

The last two weeks were a nice change of pace for me. I only logged on to a computer four times during the road trip -- not even when parts of the trip admittedly became boring. When a cruise ship charges 18 dollars for one hour of Internet access AND warns you in advance of possible satellite outages, it's easy to say no.

When I logged on at public libraries, I made the rounds of Columbus news websites - and I reached the conclusion not everyone was nearly as happy as my next-door neighbor indicated. So we'll review my vacation another time, and get caught up on several big events I've missed. No, Saturday's Seafood Festival downtown does NOT count....

With deep thanks to The River City Report, let's hit some high (or are they low?) points:

1. SHELNUTT'S SECOND ACT. Apparently it wasn't enough for Mark Shelnutt to have Columbus's trial of the year in 2009. Now he's in line to have that title again in 2011. But aren't attorneys supposed to defend the clients, instead of face the charges?

Georgia Bureau of Investigation agents claim Mark Shelnutt was caught giving prescription drugs to an undercover informant. Shelnutt told an Atlanta law newspaper that "informant" was former secretary Brandy Rivera. So much for attorney-client confidentiality....

As it happens, Mark Shelnutt's part-time secretary is on the payroll of Muscogee County District Attorney Julia Slater. Slater told state officials she had a conflict of interest in the drug investigation. But somewhere, Shelnutt's critics must be smiling - and finally are glad Slater took Shelnutt's hiring advice.

Mark Shelnutt says he had a prescription for the drugs he gave his former secretary. But Georgia state prosecutors say it's a felony merely to give a prescription drug to someone. That news must have doubled the turnout for "Prescription Drug Take-Back Day" - with husbands and wives fearing their spouses might report them.

Some people call the latest arrest of Mark Shelnutt a desperate attempt by the state of Georgia to get even for last year's loss in court. And admittedly, arresting someone for giving medicine to a "friend" doesn't seem like much. But last year's trial was on federal charges, not state counts. And isn't the G.B.I. an unbiased, impartial agency? Just ask Tony Adams's supporters....

2. REC-GATE REMOVAL. Oh wait - Tony Adams doesn't have his job anymore. Columbus Council fired the Parks and Recreation Director on a 6-3 vote. At least Adams now can devote all his time to recruiting AAU basketball players.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley called for the firing of Tony Adams, after concluding Adams lied about the existence of a contract with Nike. An attorney for Adams responded the Parks Director did NOT lie - and Hugley simply "asked the wrong questions." Maybe I should offer to be a city "journalist on call" for moments like this....

The most outspoken defender of Tony Adams on Columbus Council apparently was Mimi Woodson. She admitted not wanting to cast a vote on the Parks Director -- and you can't blame her, since she's up for re-election in 30 days. But Woodson could have followed the example of another Councilor in the same situation. Jerry "Pops" Barnes called out sick.

Defenders of Tony Adams at the meeting called it a racial issue. That led to a stunning statement by Mayor Jim Wetherington, who told Georgia NAACP President Edward DuBose: "It's always a black and white issue with you." Well, yeah - and if DuBose led the Georgians for Midget Rights, things might be different.

Criminal charges remain against Tony Adams, and his attorney now has withdrawn a motion for a "gag order" in the case. Let the record show no one on either side has ordered this blog to write any jokes. In fact, at least one side probably wishes I'd stayed on vacation....

Instant Message to The Courier: About your online poll I just discovered -- no, I don't think "Tony Adams and Herman Edwards are guilty." Herman Edwards did a lousy job coaching the Kansas City Chiefs, but I haven't heard his name come up in this Parks Department case at all.

3. OVER-BOARD. Not to be outdone, the Phenix City Council voted to remove its third school board member of the year. But there's one small problem - the school board is ignoring the latest vote, and keeping Frankie Horace as its President. It simply wouldn't be Phenix City politics without a big lawsuit, you know....

The vote to fire the Phenix City School Board President came after Mayor Sonny Coulter announced he was unable to get a face-to-face meeting with Frankie Horace. Should this really be that difficult? Both men HAVE to eat lunch at Booth's Corner Café sooner or later - they simply have to wait for each other.

Some Phenix City school board members are concerned the Council's real goal is the removal of Superintendent Larry DiChiara. You have to wonder if DiChiara already has resumes in circulation - keeping in mind one former Phenix City Superintendent is now Provost at Columbus State University.

WRBL brought up a long-lost name, in its review of the school board battle. One-time Columbus activist and "TalkLine" co-host Antonio Carter is about to become President of the Phenix City-Russell County NAACP. Carter dreamed of starting a "New Joshua Generation" - and instead, we have Josh McKoon running for State Senate.

4. T.T. VS. TTAT. As we expected, the anonymous e-mails have started in the Columbus Mayor's race. Two of them came from a new blog promising "The Truth About Teresa." It's a good thing Mother Teresa is no longer with us, because her reputation might be eternally ruined....

The anonymous blog takes Teresa Tomlinson to task, and so far is emphasizing her record of donations to Democratic candidates in federal races. They outnumber donations to Republicans by a large margin - but they make me wonder why Tomlinson's Columbus law firm would donate money to Senator Richard Shelby. How much pork-barrel spending can Phenix City handle at one time?

Teresa Tomlinson took the trouble to respond to The Truth About Teresa's topic. She explained she's donated to Republicans candidates for state office, including outgoing Sen. Seth Harp. Tomlinson should be thankful that blog hasn't found the $250 campaign donation she received from Mark Shelnutt.

So who might this alleged truth-teller be? I doubt it's opposing mayoral candidate Paul Olson, because he lists criticisms of Teresa Tomlinson and Wayne Anthony on his own campaign website. And Zeph Baker is trying to promote his campaign in more old-fashioned ways - such as parking a truck outside the Government Center. [True!]

Whoever started this "truth" blog, it's yet another sign Teresa Tomlinson is the front-runner in the mayor's race. There don't seem to be any other blogs or websites directly taking on other candidates. And is the author's use of "Volume 1" a sign that he/she plans to update the Tomlinson story for four more years?

5. BLADES WITHOUT GLORY. Two young men were arrested on charges of taping razor blades to playground equipment at Lakebottom Park last spring. Police Chief Ricky Boren says they did it as a "party prank." Wow, beer pong went out of style in a hurry....

The two suspects also face arson charges in Phenix City. I thought razor blades were "fire-tempered" at the factory from the start.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: We'll catch up on your e-mails from vacation.... along with other stuff....

The Blog of Columbus had nearly 25,000 unique visitors in the first half of 2010! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 727 (+ 73, 11.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

1 OCT 10: The Case of the "Scarlett" Scoundrel

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We're on vacation, so the blogging pace has slowed for a few days. Today we offer Classic Blog from 24 Aug 07 -- and we note the story you are about to read is true, but a few names have been changed, to protect possible embarrassment.)

Mrs. Chambers was in the lobby of police headquarters, and she was not a happy woman. But then again, how many people do you see stopping by police stations with "thank-you" platters of cookies and doughnuts?

Mrs. Chambers was at police headquarters to complain about a theft she said could total $5,000. Sad to say, for many drug squads these days this amount almost qualifies as a misdemeanor.

Mrs. Chambers didn't think the police were doing enough to solve a break-in at her home. She claimed a couple of weeks ago, someone took a portrait of the late actress Vivien Leigh - perhaps a portrait from her role in "Gone With the Wind." Mrs. Chambers seemed to think detectives were muttering Clark Gable's famous quote from that movie under their breaths....

Mrs. Chambers explained to an officer who met her in the lobby that she bought the portrait of Vivien Leigh at a yard sale two years ago for 80 dollars. She figures it's appreciated to the point where it could be worth $5,000 today. I hope no one's suggested that Mrs. Chambers invest in web site names.

But here's the twist: Mrs. Chambers explained her portrait of Vivien Leigh was not exactly stolen - it was replaced. A nearly-identical portrait was put in her house by the thief. So as they might say in Auburn, the criminal attempted to have a Leigh Scot-Free.

Mrs. Chambers says she knows the portrait currently in her house is a replacement, because she put some sort of identifying code on the portrait she bought. It has her "signature," she told the officer. Perhaps this is one time when the little yellow tag does NOT mean a big savings....

Police went to Mrs. Chambers's home about two weeks ago, when she reported the portrait swap. But she complained to the officer in the lobby they "seemed more interested in the TV set and the portrait of me on the wall, than in what I had to say." Maybe the detectives were checking to see if her portrait was switched, too.

Apparently unsatisfied with how the investigation was going, Mrs. Chambers said she called police to her home again last Sunday. That time, she claimed she had a "rattler in my fish bowl" - as in a rattlesnake. Did the portrait swappers come back to leave something threatening? Or are Mrs. Chambers's fish that valuable, too?

Mrs. Chambers admitted the main reason for the second call to police was NOT about rattlesnakes. She wanted to report some stolen jewelry as well. It turns out a female officer responded to that second call - so lost jewels should have been sufficient to get her attention.

The officer in the lobby told Mrs. Chambers he had checked the police department's files - and could NOT find a report on her original complaint. There was no paperwork about portraits of Vivien Leigh. But he stopped short of speculating they might be "Gone With the Wind."

We'd love to tell you the rest of this true story - but at that point we had to move on, so (groan) we didn't hear it. But based on the evidence we've presented, what conclusions would you draw from it? First of all, I'd be careful if someone sells portraits of Vivien Leigh at area flea markets - especially if the seller insists on a thousand-dollar starting bid.

(Of course, you also should be on the lookout for someone selling Vivien Leigh portraits on eBay. If the picture is on a piece of toast, be especially suspicious.)

I'm tempted to draw a second conclusion, from how the police responded to Mrs. Chambers's first complaint -- that they decided she's crazy. After all, who goes scouting around people's homes for portraits of dead movie stars? And then SWAPS them, instead of stealing them? I thought "Planet Hollywood" restaurants worked a bit differently from this....

Mrs. Chambers certainly didn't help her cause by calling in an update on a crime, under cover of a rattlesnake. She may not have realized "Fear Factor" isn't on TV anymore.

Police departments sometimes have to deal with callers who, to put it politely, are delusional. It's like 911 operators taking calls from people with problems which are really not emergencies. You want to "believe the victim" - but if they call over and over again, they start building rap sheets as long as some hardened criminals.

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: Suspended for vacation

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-10 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.