16 APR 08: TRUST, BUT VERIFY?

It's one thing to be upset. It's another thing to let out your emotions by calling someone who has nothing to do with the problem. But then again, Dr. Laura Schlessinger has made a pretty good living by using that second approach....

A man vented to me Tuesday about something which hasn't been mentioned here at all, but happened to be a front-page story in the Ledger-Enquirer. It's the community effort to help a Columbus woman avoid losing her rundown home. It's a bit like "Extreme Makeover Home Edition" -- except no one's brought me together with the cute-looking Paige Hemmis look-alike.

"You had all these people coming together to help somebody," the man complained. "And you had nice soundbites about trying to do something good." But then along came the daily newspaper, with an expose on the woman being helped - and suddenly she might as well have been a contestant on American Idol.

The front-page newspaper story revealed Theresa Jones has a criminal record -- with three drug convictions, two prison terms, and an arrest only two years ago which was never prosecuted. So people are aiding a convicted felon. That's enough to make any politician bail out, in an election year....

"These things happened back in the nineties," the man kept complaining -- referring to the convictions, of course. He didn't think Theresa Jones's criminal record should have anything to do with the effort to build her a new house. If the builders were convicted swindlers, perhaps his view might be different.

To be honest, I'd heard rumblings for more than a week that something wasn't quite right about Theresa Jones. The Ledger-Enquirer's Tim Chitwood went through court records to learn the truth. He also got Jones to admit she has a record, but is trying to live a "new lifestyle." There are times when that phrase might make the Columbus Baptist Association tremble a bit.

In fact, the Columbus Baptist Association is playing a major role in assisting Theresa Jones. A company went to her old rundown home last week, and tore it down for free. I suppose that beats waiting for criminals to show up and steel the copper gutters.

The team working on Theresa Jones's new home is unfazed by the news that she has a criminal record. Workers plan to help her, anyway. They're showing a giving approach to.... well, check that. They're giving in the present, because they don't give a flip about the past.

Judging from the man who talked to me Tuesday and the online comments at the Ledger-Enquirer web site, Tim Chitwood is going to hear from a lot of critics about his front-page story. It's tempting to call it the "Revenge of the Kaffie Sledge Fans...."

Yet a longtime pastor of mine probably would be glad to know what Tim Chitwood found. He's stated if you forgive a person who hasn't repented of their sins, that person will laugh at you behind your back and call you a fool. This pastor actually suggested this before President Clinton was impeached, for what he did in office.

If our title today seems familiar, that's because it was President Reagan's favorite Russian proverb. "Trust but verify" is an approach people should practice in many walks of life. It's true for journalists, police officers - and even the tax preparer who filled out your forms Tuesday night at the last minute.

But the Columbus Baptist Association admits it lacks the resources to do background checks on the people it helps. These religious people apparently choose to err on the side of mercy, as opposed to justice. We'll have to wait to see what this does for Theresa Jones. But that approach didn't keep Paris Hilton out of jail, or Britney Spears out of a rehab clinic.

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of our Monday news notes provoked a reader to write us....

Your jab about the Columbus road workers completing the Wynnton Rd and Brown Ave. project faster than the Broad Street job made me wonder....how far back in time did Columbus decide to go ahead with this project? First they had to form a committee to examine if everyone in the area was for or against road construction. Next the committee had to be from out of town, since anyone involved in-town may have had too many inside connections and may benefit in an un-fair manner. Then money had to be appropriated to hire an out-of-town advertising agency to name the project. If I had a guess, this project may have gotten to the drawing board when Bob Hydrick was Mayor. (Note: Not a jab against Mr. Hydrick. His name is used for time period reference only). I have lived here long enough to have learned the process that everything in Columbus has to go through. If only I had the local market cornered on "red tape" and "hoops" in which they have to pass from one side to the other. Did I hear somewhere that the crew doing the work in Phenix City was from Auburn? If so, we already know how "SLOW" they are over there.

I only heard about the Wynnton work in recent months, after Midtown Inc. announced plans to renovate several blocks on that road. And it happened without Columbus voters approving those tax allocation districts. Maybe the next block down from Brown Avenue will have the toll booths.

Phenix City closed several blocks around 13^th and Broad Tuesday night, for Streetscape construction. That's at least the second time this has happened in recent months. And if it keeps happening, the KFC restaurant at that intersection might join Tyler's down the street - and open only for lunch.

By the way, I think other Columbus residents already have "the local market cornered" on "hoops." And Kendrick High School's championship parade for the girls' basketball team will take place this Saturday.

BLOG CORRECTION: It turns out Muscogee County High School lunch prices are NOT as steep as we thought. The proposal before the school board would raise the daily price from $1.75 to two dollars. Now that's better -- beating the McDonald's Value Menu, because you don't have to pay sales tax at school.

Now let's pick up some loose change from the Tuesday news....

+ Columbus Council voted to rename part of Lynch Road "Technology Parkway." I'm not sure which street gang will have to change its name because of this - not to mention its reputation.

+ Buena Vista resident Lauren Moy walked from her home to Columbus, raising money for a disabled neighbor to buy a new mobile home. Yet I'm hearing the neighbor is embarrassed about that effort, and pleaded with Moy NOT to do it. So we may have found a successor for Roy Bourgeois at SOA Watch.

+ The National Football League unveiled its 2008 schedule. Unlike last year, the Atlanta Falcons are not scheduled for any prime-time games at all. So any rumors you hear about early parole for Michael Vick apparently are false.

+ Instant Message to the main Columbus Post Office: Couldn't you have made Tuesday night's tax filing deadline a little easier on people? You didn't really have to borrow those tents from funeral homes....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 602 (- 1, 0.2%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 45: Spring cleaning, 90 minutes. Total: 157.3 miles run, 15.4 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

15 APR 08: BIG HOUSE, BIG BILLS

Someone complained to us a few days ago that the city of Columbus spent $25,000 for a machine, to treat the wounded Doctors Hospital shooting suspect. But maybe we should look on the bright side. If Charles Johnston is convicted and sent away to prison, you might be able to buy it dirt-cheap at a police auction.

As it happens, today's Columbus Council agenda includes a section with a provocative title: "15 Most Expensive Patients in 2007." It's the sort of list you might expect a quack doctor to keep....

These 15 most expensive patients are NOT ordinary citizens. They're all apparently Muscogee County Jail inmates, as the cost reflects medical expenses billed to the jail's clinic. You knew the criminal mind was sick -- but how about $815,000 sick for 15 of them?

The city of Columbus has a contract with The Medical Center for handling jail inmates. That's why the Doctors Hospital shooting was so ironic. Charles Johnston may not have known about the hospital merger -- or else he might have demanded treatment at the St. Francis Hospital emergency room instead.

The Charles Johnston case isn't included in this Top 15 list, as it only covers patients treated last calendar year. And I'm sorry to tell you we do NOT have the inmates' names -- only their initials. Someone worth so much money obviously deserves some privacy....

The winner of the "most expensive patient" contest last year was R.G. He ran up a $280,000 tab for a gunshot to the chest. But if he wound up in jail, one big statistic is missing from the report. Did he run up a bill for another family? Hopefully not for funeral expenses?

The city's cost of R.G.'s treatment at the jail clinic wound up being $62,300, instead of $280,000. The city agenda explains this was due in part to "negotiations in fee reduction...." Either lower this inmate's bill, or we'll bring in three or four angrier ones....

Medicare reductions apparently allow the city to save money on jail health problems as well. The Top 15 list includes a D.T., who had a $53,000 bill for pneumonia - but the Jail Clinic didn't pay one penny of that. It's a good thing I didn't take my pneumonia problem last spring to those doctors. It could have been a lot more expensive.

The 15 Most Expensive Patients at the Jail Clinic show a wide range of health problems. R.R. had more than $27,000 in treatment for severe "alcohol withdrawal." It's hard to go cold turkey after you drink too many Wild Turkeys....

The report to Columbus Council shows Muscogee County jail inmates needed more than 36,000 different health treatments last year. The highest number involved diabetes - but there were also nearly 4,500 psychiatric calls. The document does NOT reveal how many inmates were nutty enough to admit they committed a crime.

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Speaking of big lists, your blogger cracked the Top 25 in the WalkGeorgia campaign Monday night. Out of 181 participants in the eight-week Muscogee County exercise drive, I'm at number 22 - and feeling just about ready to take on Georgia in a bowl game.

The WalkGeorgia computations show I've gained more than 303 "walking" miles in exercise, over 44 days. Admittedly, not all of that is from walking. More than seven miles went on my count Monday night, due to spring cleaning in the kitchen. Crouching down to shake a can and spray oven cleaner takes a little work, you know....

Yet our Blog of Columbus team remains in the middle of the Muscogee County pack. We're in 12^th place, with 12 days left to count. A team which seems to be connected with Columbus Consolidated Government is in last place - so filing paperwork must not be as sweat-filled as some city workers lead you to believe.

We'll keep you posted, as the finish line draws near - and now let's race through some Monday news stories:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was only 54 degrees F. -- thanks to murky clouds, gusty winds and a touch of rain. It reminded me a bit of London. Except the pigeons in Columbus are smart enough to stay in a warm hideaway, and not fly all over the center of town.

+ The Muscogee County School Board considered a proposal to increase lunch prices. A high school lunch would go up to three dollars next term - making that one-dollar menu at McDonald's look more appealing than ever.

+ A new memorial to Korean War veterans was unveiled along the North Bypass in Phenix City. But it's so close to the bypass that the official ceremony was held at a Columbus American Legion post. Those vets simply can't scramble over the guardrails like they did 50 years ago....

+ Delta and Northwest Airlines ended months of speculation, by announcing they will merge. This big deal already has some critics - but if it motivates Southwest to buy ASA and bring better service in Columbus, I'm all for it.

+ Former Georgia running back Herschel Walker told ABC News he battled what some call "multiple personality disorder" for decades. If only they'd had radios in the helmets back in the 1980s. He could have heard Larry Munson scream, "Oh, you Herschel Walker!" over and over, and known who he really was.

(ABC's Nightline reported at one point, a minister suggested Herschel Walker undergo an exorcism. Don't give those Auburn fans any ideas - because they might show up for next fall's Georgia game with containers of incense.)

+ Instant Message to Hardee's: Ohhhh. NOW you tell me. Now I learn "guys don't bake." That finally explains why church groups won't eat my brownies.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: E-mail about that work on Wynnton Road....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 603 (+ 22, 3.8%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 44: Spring cleaning, two hours. Total: 157.3 miles run, 15.4 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

14 APR 08: DUFFER, COME BACK TO ME

Both sides of Georgia were on display over the weekend. Augusta had the big golf tournament, with a national television audience. Columbus served as the sideshow - the place to go if you were too claustrophobic to deal with crowded galleries.

South Africa's Trevor Immelman was the winner Sunday at The Masters. In Augusta. You need that dramatic pause for effect, you know....

Trevor Immelman is the brother of Columbus State University golf coach Mark Immelman. Of course, local sports reporters made a big deal out of that. It was either that, or take Larry Mize to task for missing the cut again.

The C.S.U. golf team went to Augusta for a day, to watch Mark Immelman's brother in action at The Masters. I didn't know the golfers could get free passes at Augusta National for their close friends and relatives. Is this how "Arnie's Army" got started years ago?

Another group of people made a weekend trip in somewhat the opposite direction. The annual "Red Carpet Tour" left The Masters for a day, to spend Friday at Columbus and Callaway Gardens. You'd think a Red Carpet Tour might travel to Dalton instead....

The Columbus Chamber of Commerce brings in the Red Carpet Tour of mysterious visitors from across the U.S. and other countries, while The Masters is in progress. For this group, "Moving Day" comes one day early.

The Red Carpet Tour heard about Columbus-area businesses at Callaway Gardens from TSYS President Phil Tomlinson. Then the group relaxed all day at Callaway, before dining at the River Mill in Columbus. You'd think the Chamber of Commerce would have tried to impress them, with a progressive dinner around Columbus Park Crossing.

So Columbus is tied to The Masters in a couple of ways -- but I can't help thinking about what this area used to have. It's been several years since Columbus hosted a major pro golf tournament. And I'm sorry, but I don't think the Purple and Gold tournament at Fort Benning really counts....

The Southern Open once was a fall tradition at Columbus golf courses. It turned into the "Buick Challenge" for several years at Callaway Gardens. But that event was moved elsewhere -- and I wonder if the lack of a Buick dealership in Harris County has anything to do with it.

The PGA "Champions Tour" tried to have a tournament at Green Island Country Club for a year or two, but it didn't last. Some people argued the scheduling was all wrong, with the final rounds on Memorial Day weekend. But I don't hear Callaway Gardens using that excuse, for moving its water-skiing classic to August.

Sad to say, pro golf is like many other professional sports in Columbus. People are more likely to play it, than pay to watch others do it. Why, even the bass fishermen don't get any closer to town than Lake Eufaula....

E-MAIL UPDATE: The title of today's first message is "Dollar Bill." Maybe you can figure it out, without looking at our comments....

Hello,

Thought you might be interested to know about a grave injustice being perpetrated on one of our cities most esteemed leaders. As you know, most leaders of major corporations receive a significant bonus each year regardless of the earnings of the corporation and this is in addition to any other compensation they receive. However, according to the treasurer of the corporation, the leader of one of Columbus' largest corporations only receives a bonus annually that is equal to $1000.00 for each year served. For example if this leader had provided 25 years of service he would receive a check for only $25,000.00. This is a minuscule amount compared to what the executives of other major corporations receive. I think we need an investigation as to why this leader is being shorted. He is certainly worthy of at least a $1,000,000,000.00 bonus. With over 8000 employees on the books this only seems fair.

Please Look into this injustice.

Thanks

Hmmmm - if this e-mail is accurate, it's no wonder all the finalists for Columbus State University President are from out of town.

But seriously: I'm putting the clues together and concluding this has something to do with Cascade Hills Church, whose pastor just marked 25 years there. But I don't think it's fair to call 8,000 church members "employees." Less than half of them show up on a typical weekend -- and I don't think they're all telecommuting.

Your blog has seen a proposed 2008 budget for Cascade Hills Church. It does NOT break down compensation in detail, but the "administration salaries" line totals less than $350,000. Things might be much higher, if Aflac's Dan Amos was Baptist instead of Methodist.

If this claim about a $25,000 bonus for the Cascade Hills Pastor is accurate, it comes to a little more than three dollars per member. It also comes to about two drink at the church coffee bar -- so it's really a small sacrifice to make.

Another reader couldn't resist responding to our Sunday story, on the marital union of two letters:

You forgot to mention Q & U first saw each other when HUD treated them to a VIP cooking class at the USO on the uses of EVOO. All this was paid for with IRS quarters from WRBL vending machines.

I'm not surprised that Q and U would get by on quarters. They're kind of made for that....

By the way, we're checking reports that Q was born in the Florence, South Carolina area. This would make his background a "Pee Dee Q."

Now let's spell out more details about the weekend news....

+ Our Burkard Bulk Mail Index dropped to another record low, falling below 600. Wow -- even spammers are cutting back, due to the high price of gasoline.

+ The improved intersection of Wynnton Road and Brown Avenue was opened to traffic, with north-south drivers going straight instead of making two quick turns. We thank our Columbus city road crews for making the Streetscape team in downtown Phenix City look like slackers.

+ Oxbow Meadows hosted a nature program on attracting butterflies to your garden. This was scheduled just in time for prom season - when many teenagers are more than happy to get the butterflies out of their stomachs.

+ The University of Alabama "A Day" football game attracted 78,000 people. That number was down 14,000 from last spring - and I didn't realize that many fans had parked their RV's at Talladega Superspeedway already.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Lions: I was checking the statistics on your Saturday night win - and when did the Civic Center become the "Thunder Dome?" Has sponsorship of this arena finally been sold, to the Thunderbird Motel on Victory Drive?

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 581 (- 25, 4.1%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 43: Racquetball workout, 89 minutes. Total: 157.3 miles run, 15.4 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

13 APR 08: U R N LUV

TRUE NEWS ITEM: Ladonia Elementary School's kindergarten class put on an outdoor "wedding ceremony" Friday, uniting the letters Q and U.

"Dearly B-loved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and all these.... excuse me, Principal. Can I say 'God' at this public school?"

"It's all right. We're in Alabama."

"Thank you. We are gathered in the sight of God and all these witnesses, to unite these letters Q and U in holy matrimony. I am pleased to preside today, as your Justice of the P's. Who gives away the bride? Oh, and which one IS the bride, anyway?"

"U, sir. Q is the male. Do we really need a lesson in sex education here?"

"Ahem -- of course. My apologies. Now as I was saying, who gives away the bride?"

"We do, sir. We're the bankers providing financing for this wedding."

"And you would be...."

"C, B and T."

"Very good."

"Miss U!!!"

"Quite touching of them to say that. I would remind the bride and groom that marriage is an...."

"Infidels! They are INFIDELS!"

"Excuse me - who are you, sir?"

"This wedding of letters cannot go forward!"

"And why not?"

"I am a member of al-Qaeda. And U -- U have NO business joining with this letter in...."

"Get down! Hit the ground NOW!"

"Mumppph, mummpph!!"

"You're under arrest, Al!"

"What is this? Who are all of you?!?"

"Alphabet police. This man is on our watch list."

"Alphabet police?!"

"F, B and I. Just doing our jobs. Now if you'll excuse us."

"But I thought B was with the bankers that...."

"Shhhhh! Don't blow my cover!"

"Oh. All right. Now can we please have some order? If anyone - anyone else here objects to the wedding of these letters, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

"I do, your honor."

"Another one?! And who might you be?"

"I am an emissary from the emirate of Qatar. My people have appreciated the singleness of Q for centuries, and we believe this is a bad combination."

"That's right. You tell 'em."

"Who is this person alongside the emissary?"

"Dave Arwood, from WCGQ Radio. We're Q-107.3, and we don't want to change our nickname because of this."

"In fact, your Justiceship, this marriage could damage international relations."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, think about it. How long has this country been known as the U-S?"

"Now look at what you've done. You're making the bride cry."

"Mr. Justice, I'm no more attached to the letter S than I am to the N at the United Nations. I mean, yes, we're close and all -- but that's just a business relationship."

"I think I understand, Miss U. And as for - hey, what are you guys doing with the cameras?"

"We're the paparazzi. Gotta get a shot of this."

"Have you no shame? No respect?? Who do you work for???"

"The alphabet gossip web site - TMZ. You guys met on Sesame Street, right?"

"How did you know that?"

"We hid behind the garbage can. Caught it all. So where do letters like you go on your honeymoon - to D.C.? Or L.A.?"

"Will you please wait until the reception, for your annoying picture-taking?"

"We paparazzi have our own job to do, you know. After all, we were barred from that last big alphabet wedding."

"Which one was that?"

"The one with J-Z."

"Oh, please - this is ridiculous."

"When letters of the alphabet get connected, it's our job to ask.... Y."

"Enough already! Before anything else happens, I'm going to pronounce Q and U husband and wife. You objectors can take it up with the government."

"The government? Who's going to listen to us?"

"Well, we still do have a President called W."

"Party-pooper Justice. We're taking our cameras to the next assignment. We know we'll be welcome there."

"Where's TMZ going now?"

"Tuscaloosa - for A-Day."

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 606 (+ 21, 3.6%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAYS 41-42: 3.8 miles run, 0.9 walked. Total: 139.1 miles run, 15.4 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

for 12 APR 08: THE NEW SEEKER

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

A couple of Saturdays ago, we mentioned our hunt for a new place to worship. A couple of people have e-mailed us since then with suggestions. This one reached us first:

Hry Richard,

Good Morning. As we speak I am enjoying a much deserved long weekend at Amelia Island Plantation in Jacksonville. I was reading Friday,s blog [29 Mar] and thought I would invite you to our church. I am a member of Solid Rock Assembly Of God on warm springs road. A co-worker of yours also attends there, Jason Dennis. Actually the Pastor is his Brother-in-law.Our Pastor is actually the team Pastor for the Cottonmouths and many of them attend our services.O.K. gotta go and Tee-Off it's hard work, but someones gotta do it. God Bless.

P.S. How is your music Ministry going?.

Charles Lawhon

Dad's Initiative Chair

Georgia PTA

Wow - I didn't realize many Columbus hockey players go to church. I take it these are the goal-scorers, and not the designated "goons?"

Your interest in my CD can help keep the music ministry going. And I sing at places which invite me. I even sing out during hymn times at services - so you'll probably be able to spot me with ease.

Our second offer came from a different denomination:

You are more than invited to St. Andrew's Presbyterian where sometime in the future member, Dimon Kendrick Holmes will become a winner on funniest home videos for our Palm Sunday Service He can run 50 ft in 1 second flat!!!! Our Pastor is awesome!!!

Maybe I'm misunderstanding this -- but is your Pastor a future church member? And was he running to illustrate how the church must undergo persecution?

I've seen church services on TV where members run up and down the aisles, even in the middle of a sermon. They put the sports programs at mega-churches to shame, by holding on-the-spot track meets - occasionally with the women wearing dresses and high heels.

We appreciate the offers to worship in new places. But there's one big concern we have with both congregations. They do what so many Christian groups do -- and meet primarily on Sundays. I concluded years ago the proper "Sabbath" day is the one Jews have kept for thousands of years. And before you ask "What Would Jesus Do?" -- He'd do that. He was Jewish.

If you want to worship on Sunday, there's nothing necessarily wrong with that. A couple of women did that before Jesus, right after His resurrection. But there's no direct Biblical evidence that the Seventh-Day Sabbath ever went away. Just because your church board may have done it does NOT mean it's the final answer.

I also decided years ago that when Jesus comes back, He'll have little trouble getting Southerners to accept worshiping on a Saturday Sabbath. Look at how many fill stadiums every fall to worship football....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 585 (- 67, 10.3%, record low)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 41: To be determined.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 APR 08: CHECKED OUT OF THE PLAY

The Columbus Cottonmouths will have an "end of season meet and greet" with fans tonight. That's what makes the hockey team different from plenty of other sports teams around here. The only way fans can meet most of last year's league champion Columbus Catfish right now is to drive to a higher-class team in Vero Beach, Florida.

If the Cottonmouths had won the fifth game of their playoff series with Knoxville Tuesday night, they'd still have some home games left - and the Columbus Civic Center might not have a mess on its hands. The arena plans to shut down the ice rink for indoor football, before the youth hockey season is finished. I knew they were doing away with "frozen pucks" along the boards, but freezing the schedule?!

The Columbus Hockey Association holds youth league and adult pickup games at the Civic Center. It's all set for the final round of playoffs, but the ice rink is being turned off. So suddenly the hockey season is a bit like the Democratic Presidential race....

The Columbus Hockey Association's web site indicates parents and fans have fired e-mails of complaint to the Civic Center management, and even the City Manager. On the ice surface, you can't really blame them for being upset. For one thing, the last killing frost in Columbus still is about ten days away.

But the Civic Center may not be completely to blame for this problem. One Columbus Hockey Association leader hinted Thursday they might not have told the management that playoff days in April were needed. As if local teams aren't making the playoffs in almost everything these days....

Another hidden factor in all this could be the state of the Civic Center's ice-making machinery. A pump broke down last Saturday night, which put Sunday's Cottonmouths playoff game in question for a while. There could have been standing water in the rink - which vendors still might have tried to sell for $2.50 a bottle.

The hockey association's web site indicates the Civic Center staff is trying to work out to resolve this lack of a playoff round. Several ideas come to my mind, which I've yet to hear anyone explain....

+ The Cottonmouths must have reserved the arena for at least one final-round playoff game. Why not let the children skate on that date? Simply tell them if they make too hard a hit along the boards, they have to pay for the new pane of glass.

+ The rink will be needed two weeks from now, for the "Disney on Ice" show. Why not have the playoffs around that time? Or will Tinkerbell's wand-waving influence the outcome?

+ How about holding this spring's playoffs next October, before the new season begins. It might almost match the two-week hype given to the Super Bowl.

+ If all else fails, why not take the playoff round outside? Put it in the parking lot, with players on roller skates - a bit like Columbus Lions football in reverse.

If Columbus had a separate ice rink, we wouldn't be discussing this topic. The last one-percent sales tax vote was supposed to provide money for that rink. But City Manager Isaiah Hugley admitted Thursday while the city has two million dollars for that rink, it needs three million more. And right now, Mayor Wetherington is more concerned about a new "cooler" for criminals.

I heard one man complain Thursday that Columbus shouldn't be using tax money on ice rinks at all. He said if it's really needed, an entrepreneur ought to be found to provide the money for one. Too bad Aflac is busy sponsoring NASCAR winners in Texas....

So unless a compromise can be worked out, the youth hockey season in Columbus will end with no playoffs at all. But parents can comfort their disappointed children with a bit of recent history. Only three years ago, the National Hockey League owners staged a lockout - and there wasn't a season at all.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Uh-oh -- the sightings in the sky may be only beginning....

Hello,

The same black helicopter flies over neighborhoods in North Phenix City (across the river from Green Island). We have seen it for the past two years (at least once a week), last sighting about two days ago in the Lakewood area. We figured it's some local developer looking for remaining patches of wooded land to buy and build even more tacky subdivisions.

These houses with inflated price tags will come with a large gabled roof, a big kitchen with granite countertops, wood floors throughout, a couple of garden tubs, a master suite, two or three additional cell-sized bedrooms, and a postage stamp sized backyard, bordered by a concrete/brick facade block wall holding back a massive wall of dirt. After a few months, portable plastic basketball goals will start appearing on the curb next to the driveways, because the kids don't have a decent backyard to play in or a big tree to climb!

Well, so goes my helicopter theory.

Cathy Weaver

(An accomplished leaf blower/raker due to the two big oaks in our front yard)

Now calm down here a minute, Ms. Weaver. Why are you so obviously biased in favor of Formica counters?

I was blessed to grow up in a home with a large amount of - well, my family used to call it a yard. Nowadays in Columbus, the politicians prefer to call it greenspace....

(But it's amazing how that childhood blessing can become a teenage curse - when Mom and Dad expect you to mow the lawn all summer.)

We'll watch for more "chopper chat" to come our way. Now let's land on other Thursday headlines, which also begin in the sky....

+ Fort Benning held its annual "Airborne Awards" ceremony, complete with paratroopers landing on the grounds. It's too bad telegraph service has gone out of style - because we wanted to receive some jumper cables.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution updated its list of Georgia state legislators missing the most votes. Rep. Calvin Smyre was on the worst ten list in March, but finished the session in 39^th place. Talk about setting a bad example for local athletes....

+ The LaGrange Daily News reported a woman gave a cab driver a counterfeit $50 bill, and asked for change. Trouble was, the unwitting driver only had $12 in change on him. This is what we call in business a "lose-lose" situation.

+ Atlanta's baseball game with Colorado was postponed, due to a snowstorm in Denver. It's easy to understand why they couldn't play. Too many fans would throw snowballs onto the field, and every batter would strike out.

+ Instant Message to Payless Shoes on Victory Drive: About your sign outside - I know BOGO stands for "Buy One, Get One." But what's this thing on the other side called a BGOO Sale? Does this stand for something like "Boys and Girls, One Only?"

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: What might be the most unusual local wedding of the decade....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 652 (+ 19, 3.0%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 40: Racquetball workout, 66 minutes. Total: 135.3 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 APR 08: THE HOVER-AROUND

"This won't be news," the caller told me right off the bat Wednesday afternoon. Well, that's OK. Plenty of blog-writing nowadays seems closer to rumor and innuendo.

The caller continued: "....but there's been a helicopter flying over my neighborhood for about the last four hours." Uh-oh. Could it be a search for a second plane crash in three days? Or were those mysterious black helicopters from the United Nations getting ready for a sneak attack on Fort Benning?

"What neighborhood are you in?" I asked the man.

"Near Green Island," he answered. Now this was puzzling. The helicopter was nowhere close to Fort Benning. And as wealthy a neighborhood as Green Island Hills is, I've never heard of anyone there getting around by landing on helipads.

"It's not a military or a medical helicopter," the caller continued. Apparently it was flying low enough that he could tell. And if WRBL somehow had found its long-lost "Chopper Three," the markings should have been obvious.

"It was flying overhead for about two hours," the man reported. "Then it went away for awhile, and now it's back again." So perhaps the pilot took a lunch break. Who could have guessed UFO's have unions?

"I can open the door and let you hear it," the caller said. If he did that, I couldn't hear it. People in Green Island Hills may be skimping on the quality of their telephones, to pay those expensive mortgages.

"If you find out what it's doing," the caller concluded, "you might have a story...."

"But you just told me this isn't news."

"It will be, if I shoot it down."

The man laughed a little after saying that. If he actually lived in Green Island Hills, I'd know for sure he was joking about shooting down that helicopter. In rural areas of Russell County, I might not be so sure.

I took the man's phone number, and promised to do some checking on this mysterious helicopter. After a couple of calls to the Columbus Airport, I had an answer. "It's work on a cell phone tower," I told the man.

"So it's not news," the man admitted. Not unless he grew tired of the noise, and reached into the closet for his shotgun.

(Wouldn't it be strange if this helicopter was used for a Verizon Wireless tower? You can hear them now - overhead, even before construction starts.)

But let's be honest here - a helicopter hovering over Green Island Hills for hours certainly could make some residents stop and wonder. Slick burglars could be scouting those nice homes. Or nosy neighbors could be checking who has the largest swimming pool - and already has it filled.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The gavel fell six days ago, to end the Georgia General Assembly session. But one reader isn't satisfied with how one matter turned out....

Follow the Money Trail. Ga Senate Bill 372, passed the Senate but not the House. It would create an ethics panel for Boards of Education, chosen by the governing body. This sort of panel would rubber stamp the Education Board and support the oligarchy, and potential corruption.

The Columbus contingent of Common Cause GA went to the capital to support the ethics panel for consolidated governments, suggesting it be chosen by the Grand Jury.

The bill also removes the need for Legislators to file campaign disclosures in local election offices!

Local filings of campaign disclosures is a critical element of our Republican Democracy. Common Cause, with the help of their Columbus member, the Republican Party Chair, supported the robbery of our right to have local viewings of the legislators' campaign disclosures.

GA allows electronic filings of campaign disclosures, and the disclosures can be seen at the state website. The state has usually not even fined the electeds who did not file campaign disclosures, and when they did they imposed a pittance of $50-100. It is a farcical system. The state now requires local filings but the bill would remove that requirement.

Local access to campaign filings is critical, assuring:

1. Access to everyone, people without computers, and people who cannot afford repeated requests of state copies can go to the local elections office and see the disclosures themselves.

2. State filings are electronic and local filings are paper creating a real paper trail with a real signature. Changes and additions can be seen readily. Local paper filings have signatures!

3. All who subscribe to the belief that with politicians- "Do not trust and DO verify" can verify.

4. A local person who is charged by local people with the responsibility to oversee the authenticity of campaign disclosure filings provides a new measure of accountability, with a local witness.

Tell the politicians, buckle up, it is going to get more inconvenient, not less. Who cares if it is inconvenient, onerous, and they say it is duplicative. We want it. We will fight to keep it. We need more filings not less. The bill will return next year.

The Senate and Common Cause said the removal of local filings is wanted because it is duplicative, I say the removal of our right to have local filings is duplicitous! Why have they gone to so much trouble to prevent local filings on paper with signature?

If a politician wants the position, and the power, it should not be considered inconvenient or onerous to provide a local disclosure filing with a guaranteed signature. They act like we are asking them to donate a kidney! If they want the position and power bad enough, make them work for it. Local filings of campaign disclosures should be considered an honor, a sacred trust, and an American duty!

Deborah Owens

Columbus, Ga 31909

Hmmmm - is this e-mail suggesting some local school boards are unethical? I haven't heard anyone suggest that the sale of the old Baker High School will allow school board member Joseph Roberson to build a big new sanctuary for his church down the street.

There may not be a city ethics board in Columbus, but something vaguely along those lines was created for public safety after the Kenneth Walker shooting. You may vaguely remember that board. Either it's evaporated in the last couple of years, or every public safety officer has become a perfect citizen.

We checked the text of SB 372 Wednesday night, in the form that passed the State Senate. While campaign disclosure forms might have ended at the local level, they still would have to be filed at the Georgia Ethics Commission office in Atlanta. In fact, I was able to call up Senate candidate Reginald Pugh's 2006 reports online. Why he stopped at a $300 donation from himself, I have no idea....

When it comes to Common Cause, keep in mind the group has members from both main political parties. Muscogee County Republican Chair Josh McKoon is part of it - but so is retired TV news anchor and admitted Democrat Dick McMichael. That's what actually makes Common Cause a bit uncommon nowadays.

But really now - isn't complaining about paperwork common in all walks of life? It's not only true with campaign disclosure reports. It's true with buying a house, leasing a car - and don't get me started on the Georgia tax return that's now seven pages long.

Back at the Georgia capital: did you hear about that Republican news conference Wednesday? Governor Sonny Perdue had to stand between Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle and House Speaker Glenn Richardson. The next time Cagle and Richardson stand side-by-side, it may for a campaign debate in 2010.

I've decided in terms of 2010 Georgia politics, the big winner of the legislative session was the man who hardly ever was there. Somewhere in the state, Republican Insurance Commissioner John Oxendine must be smiling -- because he now looks like the cleanest crusader since Eliot Spitzer.

Now let's see if anything inconvenient or onerous happened in Wednesday's news....

+ WLTZ reported Muscogee County will add two more "advance voting" polling places for the July primary. They'll be at the Cunningham Center and the Frank Chester Recreation Center -- which still leaves none north of Manchester Expressway. Apparently Republicans in north Columbus aren't afraid about getting sick before a big vote.

+ WRBL reporter David Spunt twice claimed on the air the price of oil was "a dollar-eight a barrel." Either he misread the price of 108 dollars -- or he's getting his statistics from web sites in Venezuela.

+ A Savannah TV station reported shots were fired in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart store. Security personnel never bothered closing the store, even after police showed up. But then again, how else are you supposed to try out the buckshot you buy in the sporting goods department?

+ Instant Message to Owen Ditchfield: Wow - you've ridden a bicycle from your home to work for 40 years?! Did you also ride that bike to School Board meetings, when you were a member years ago? Or did you fear all the paperwork would fall out of your basket, while you pedaled up the Wynnton Road hill?

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 633 (+ 20, 3.3%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 39: Spring cleaning, 150 minutes. Total: 121.8 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 APR 08: HALF-PIPE UP

Tuesday was a perfect day for getting outside and working out. In fact, I did that a little in mid-afternoon. I took the floor mats out of the back seats of my car, and gave them a thorough vacuuming.

There's plenty of room to work out at South Commons - and in a few weeks, there will be something new to do there. Construction is well underway on a new "skate park." Please note this is different from a state park. For one thing, politicians usually don't go to state parks and make statements.

After years of promises and planning, the South Commons Skate Park is being built between Golden Park and the Columbus Civic Center. By "skating," we mean skateboards and roller blades -- except for once about every five years, when there's an ice storm downtown.

The new skate park is being built with a bowl and ramps, so users can pick up speed to do their stunts. I'm tempted to say you shouldn't date a skateboarder - because he might not really want to level with you.

(After taking a closer look at the schematic drawings, it has stairs as well as ramps. I guess that means it's accessible to disabled skateboarders - or those who slip, and become that way.)

The Tuesday evening news also indicated the new skate park will have "half-pipes." Some older people I know don't quite grasp what that means. And sadly, a few guess it has something to do with crack cocaine.

A schematic drawing for the skate park was shown on the Tuesday evening news. The design is the work of "California Skateparks." That name might explain why there's a budget of $700,000 to build it.

California Skateparks has built, well, skate parks from coast to coast. The "portfolio" section of its web site showed one in Wichita, Kansas which appeared to be built under a freeway. We certainly want the skateboarders to feel right at home....

But of course, that's the complain many skateboarders in Columbus have had for years. They don't have a home, for doing their tricks. So they've used everything from statues on the Riverwalk to the Olympic memorial in South Commons. Thankfully, no one's tried to jump on top of the heads of those cast-iron children playing softball.

Former Columbus Council candidate Jeremy Hobbs lobbied against the South Commons location for the skate park last year. He claimed it might bring crime to the neighborhood. But he might not realize the skateboarders were doing stunts there already - and unlike some people who hang around South Commons, they don't beg passers-by for money.

I heard one man say Tuesday he doesn't like the idea of tax money being used for a skate park. But it's possible tax money was being used, for the lack of a skate park - as boarders chipped away at public stairs, until they have to be rebuilt.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The words of praise flowed our way Tuesday, even though we didn't have that much to do with the NCAA men's basketball final at all....

The Kansas Jayhawks defeated the Memphis Tigers 75-68 in OT to win the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship." came flashing on my Twitter, just thought I'd send you an e-mail of congratuation - looks like it's '88 all over again!

Aaron

Thank you, Aaron, on behalf of all Kansas.... hey, wait a minute! It flashed on your Twitter?! If this man was in Nashville, would it be called a Conway Twitter?

As promised, your blog called WEAM-AM's "In the Zone" Tuesday to gloat chat about the Kansas win. I mentioned another amazing parallel I discovered between the 1988 and 2008 title teams. Mario Chalmers's dad was hired as K.U. "Director of Basketball Operations," just as Ed Manning was hired to assist son Danny Manning 20 years ago. So why didn't our current President Bush name his dad a White House adviser?

The Jayhawk triumph even inspired an e-mail from a long-lost Columbus TV meteorologist:

Richard,

I'm proud of your Jayhawks! KU put me over the top to win the office pool this year!

Hope all is well with you in Columbus.

Joshua McKinney

They congratulate me on the win - but will they give me a cut of the profits? I'm not holding my breath on that one....

Joshua McKinney is busy these days watching the weather for "News 14" in Raleigh, North Carolina. So first Roy Williams roots for Kansas to win, and now a SECOND person in North Carolina does the same -- a man who went to college in Kentucky at that! This basketball bandwagon might roll all the way to next March.

I might have done well in an office pool on the NCAA men's basketball tournament as well -- but I don't play at the office. They do it for money, and that's technically illegal gambling. I don't want those HOPE scholars starting a protest march outside the building -- much less call police.

So this year, I put together a bracket in a free contest Yahoo conducted. Two of my "Final Four" teams were right - but I had so many slips along the way that I wound up in the "88^th percentile," out of about two million contestants. Without a Kansas win, I would have been a 30^th-percentile flunkie.

Let's check some other Tuesday news items, while basking in the afterglow....

+ Which local TV news anchor just found out she's pregnant? How do you train a baby to keep quiet at both 6:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m., anyway?

+ Columbus Council postponed a vote on a resolution, concerning the one-cent sales tax proposal. The resolution is an "expression of intent" that the tax money will be used for public safety and road work. Perhaps the city attorney needed to remove any language that might seem to include the word "park."

+ Knoxville knocked out the Columbus Cottonmouths 6-3, in a showdown hockey playoff game. Every time the Ice Bears scored, the Knoxville crowd chanted: "You s**k!" That seems rather harsh - but imagine if the Tennessee football team has any more losing seasons.

+ Smiths Station edged Opelika 6-5 in high school baseball. It's Opelika's first loss of the year - so they're now 28 and 1, instead of 29 and OHS.

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 613 (- 14, 2.2%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 38: Spring cleaning, 120 minutes. Total: 121.8 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 APR 08: THE LOOK OF A CHAMPION

"You rooting for Memphis?" said the woman approaching me from behind Monday night. Yes, that university's players wear blue - just like my alma mater Kansas. But on this night, I wanted the Memphis basketball players to think of home, and Beale Street. You know, singing the blues....

"Well no, Ms. Baribeau," I answered quietly. I recognized the voice as Rachel Baribeau, the reigning queen of Columbus sports media. WEAM-AM talk show partner Mike Vee was NOT with her. He may have already been in Knoxville, preparing to spot all the cheating the Cottonmouths will face tonight.

Rachel Baribeau was part of a group, which dined Monday night at Loco's on 13^th Street. I went by myself to the bar, because I honestly don't know any other Kansas graduates in Columbus. Even the transfers to Fort Benning can't be trusted - since so many of them move here from Fort Riley, which is much too close to Kansas State.

"I'm surprised most of the experts, quote-end quote, are for Memphis," I told Rachel Baribeau. "Kansas seems to be much more balanced." Then Baribeau spouted off some facts about the Tigers which went right over my head. I didn't see them play UCLA last Saturday. I watched the only game that mattered....

"The Braves are on," said another woman who sat next to me at the bar during the first half. "Maybe they have something against baseball...." You can always spot the people visiting Columbus on vacation.

"Not tonight," I said to the woman - and lowered my head to show the blue Kansas Jayhawks cap on my head. Not to mention the Orange Bowl victory T-shirt my brother mailed me. I don't even mind if he bought it for half-price outside the stadium, after the game.

"You'll have baseball for the next six months," I explained to the woman. "But on this night...." The woman seemed to understand. Well, maybe. She and her man moved somewhere else in the restaurant a couple of minutes later.

There was one TV to the left of the Loco's bar which could have been turned to baseball. But for some reason, it was left on WGN in Chicago - which showed a marathon of "America's Funniest Home Videos" reruns. As if Tom Bergeron's face there would distract viewers away from "Dancing With the Stars"?!

Rachel Baribeau and her group left Loco's before halftime. That's when I told I'd be blogging about the Kansas-Memphis championship game. She invited me to call her show today between 4:00 and 7:00 p.m. -- and you can count on me doing it. It's time Columbus learned how to put the Rock Chalk before the Jayhawk....

BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Kansas rallied from nine points down in the last two minutes, to win the NCAA men's basketball championship 75-68 in overtime. The Jayhawks won the title in 1988, now win it again in 2008. So if I keep working out on a regular basis, I should be alive for the 2028 tournament.

"Not impossible," I said to myself when Kansas was down by nine with two minutes left in regulation. I was on a youth league team which was down by ten with two minutes left, yet came back to win a playoff game. It was thrilling for me to... well, watch from the bench as a substitute.

The Achilles' heel of Memphis tripped up the Tigers late in the game, as players missed several key free throws. That's one "bar" I think more college students should be encouraged to hit on a regular basis....

Alaska native Mario Chalmers hit a three-point shot with 2.1 seconds left in regulation, to tie the game for Kansas. Jayhawk radio network announcer Bob Davis called him "Super Mario" long before I thought of it....

(Until Monday night, the most famous Chalmers in the history of the University of Kansas was Chancellor E. Laurence Chalmers. He was in charge during the Vietnam conflict, and many considered him too liberal. What does it say when Kansas State has a Chalmers Hall, while Kansas doesn't?)

But anyway: Kansas scored the first six points of overtime. But then Memphis clawed its way back, and CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz declared the score "71-68 in the first overtime." First?! This game only seemed as scripted as pro wrestling.

But Kansas prevailed, to finish a tournament with plenty of parallels to the 1988 title. In both years, the Jayhawks won the Midwest Regional in Detroit. In both years, Danny Manning was on the bench - first as a player, now an assistant coach. And if history keeps repeating itself, a Republican will be elected President in November.

It was amazing to see former Kansas coach Roy Williams in the stands with a Jayhawk sticker on his shirt -- two days after K.U. topped North Carolina in the semifinals. If he can repent, any sinner can....

So I turn on WEAM-AM to celebrate the big win by Kansas Coach Bill Self, and finish this victory blog. So what does ESPN Radio's SportsCenter update anchor say? "Oklahoma State needs a head coach. Bill Self is an Oklahoma State alum." To which I said in response - "Awwwwww, shut up."

By the way, am I the only person who gets a bit choked up when CBS plays "One Shining Moment" at the end of the men's basketball finals? In years past, I have. This year, I sang along. To borrow from a radio preacher I heard in Atlanta years ago, the Jayhawks shot me happy....

If you came here for an update on events in Columbus - hey, I tried as best I could. But for one night, it was a celebration for my old school. In fact, it's the second big celebration for Kansas fans in about three months. You might say I partied like it's 1988.

P.S. Thank you, WLTZ, for providing our title today. Did you take a good look at the champion Jayhawks? In this case, looks are NOT deceiving....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 627 (+ 23, 3.8%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 37: Spring cleaning, 75 minutes. Total: 121.8 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 APR 08: LOSER LEAVES TOWN?

While you may have focused on playoff hockey or college basketball over the weekend, a new sports rivalry began in the Columbus area. It's likely to have a good bit of name-calling, and perhaps even some fisticuffs. But before you get the wrong idea - no, there will NOT be a new Little League baseball program in our area....

The IWN had its Columbus premiere Friday night near Cooper Creek Park - as in the Independent Wrestling Network. A check online indicates this organization also had matches in late March in Fort Valley. I guess this means Fort Valley is to Columbus what New Haven, Connecticut is to Broadway.

The IWN brought in a famous professional wrestling name of the past for its Columbus premiere: Buff Bagwell. For those of you who don't follow sports very much - I don't think he's related to Houston baseball legend Jeff Bagwell.

Before heading to the IWN premiere, Buff Bagwell made a special appearance at Bill Heard Chevrolet. You'll accept our 60-month interest payment plan, or else....

But Buff Bagwell apparently left Columbus embarrassed. A pro wrestling blog reports he lost a three-way battle for the IWN championship title to "Mr. Hughes." Mister WHOSE?! I'm not sure they're even that formal with names at Aflac.

(That sort of absurd wrestling name reminds me of a tag team in Kansas City many years ago. They called themselves "The Hippies" - but one insisted on being called MISTER Mickey Doyle. A hippie called Mister?! Did anyone in San Francisco ever demand this?)

An estimated 400 people attended the opening night of IWN wrestling on Burnham Boulevard. By comparison, the Cottonmouths playoff game at the Civic Center had an attendance of 2,072 -- and who knows how many of those fans were disappointed, because no fights broke out at all. [True!]

What makes IWN's premiere so interesting is that there's already another pro wrestling company in metro Columbus. We told you two years ago about Great Championship Wrestling moving its matches into a former skating rink in Phenix City [26 Sep 06]. I haven't heard much about it since the move - so this organization may be down to Pretty Good Wrestling.

A check of the GCW web site Sunday night found it has NOT been updated in months - and is still promoting a card held during last November's "God Bless Fort Benning" weekend. An event with fake blood must have attracted plenty of visitors from SOA Watch.

IWN is holding its matches in the former "GCW Sports Arena" on Burnham Boulevard. And that wrestling blog indicates there's already a dispute over where GCW star A.J. Steele can compete. He had a draw with IWN Friday night - so the newcomers may be Steele stealers.

The bottom-line question in all this should be obvious: Is the Columbus area big enough for two pro wrestling troupes? After all, this city barely supports one minor league baseball team - with 893 fans attending the Catfish doubleheader Sunday. But then again, Columbus does have about eight Little League programs....

I'm saving the big prediction of the day for something much more vital, but I suspect one of two things will happen here. Either GCW and IWN will merge, or their wrestlers will challenge each other to an all-out brawl somewhere. It might be in the parking lot. It might be at the supermarket. And these wrestlers are big enough that it could happen at Buffet City.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Several readers still want to talk about real bloodshed, from the Doctors Hospital shootings. One wants to set the official record straight....

The Facts:

Charles Johnston was not a Retired MCSD Teacher.

He Spent 2 years in the Navy.

He brought three guns, "in case something happened".

He went to the hospital prior in the day in order to locate Peter(son).

He rode around in his car for an hour before returning to the hospital.

He backed his car into the parking lot, and casually entered into the hospital. Mr. Johnston the proceeded to the 5th floor Critical Care Unit where he casually spoke with a few nurses before zeroing in on Peter Wright, (who did not take care of his mother). Johnson then followed Wright around until he saw an opportunity to fire. Johnston shot Wright point blank in the chest, and Wright went down. Wright the attempted to crawl away when witnesses saw Johnston again fire at Wright, hitting him in the back. Johnston then attempted to leave using the elevator. Witnesses then say that Les Harris followed Johnston to the elevators in an attempt to stop him. Johnston shot Harris in the chest, then proceeded down stairs to leave the building. Once outside, Johnston casually walked to his car followed by hospital personnel. Johnston attempted to enter his vehicle to leave, when James Baker (totally oblivious to the situation) pulled into the parking spot next to him. Johnston turned around, and fired on round at Baker's head as Baker attempted to exit his vehicle.

Baker's wife was not in the truck with him. Baker was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Johnston then casually got into his car, placing two semi automatic pistols on the seat next to him, and attempted to drive away. He is stopped by Deputy Marshal Davenport, who attempts to place Johnston in custody. Johnston gets out of the car and fires at Davenport, who takes cover behind the patrol vehicle. Johnston then reenters his car and attempts to drive around Davenport, when he is stopped by Det. Dahnke, who orders Johnston out of the car, while Ofc's Goodrich and Anderson take up positions and attempt to apprehend Johnston. Johnston the fires at Ofc's Anderson and Goodrich, when Det. Dahnke shoots thru the windshield, striking Johnston in the arm.

The news messed a lot of the facts up. Peter Wright did not take care of Johnston's mother.

Johnston admitted to killing Wright, and shot the others who he thought were attempting to stop him.

Johnston intended to die that day.

Johnston also had plenty of opportunities to shoot white females, black females, and black nurses. He pointed the gun at several and told them to leave him alone.

Johnston acted calm, cool, and collected thru the whole ordeal.

Just the facts.

And so this blog doesn't get sued - Charles Johnston "allegedly" did all these things.

From this detailed message, this e-mailer may have reviewed the official police records on the case. But I suspect the news reporters simply were passing along what the police told them on the scene. At first it was thought Charles Johnston's mother died on the morning of the attack. We're now told that happened four years earlier - so at some point, "oh-four" and "morning" sounded too much alike.

Our next e-mail is concerned about what happened after the hospital attack:

Do you think the citizen's of Columbus would be happy that the city paid $25,000 for a machine used to treat his injuries while he is incarcerated? Not to mention the cost's daily to run it for the attachments that must be replaced each day!

Charles Johnston is a Columbus resident - and judging from the first e-mail, he may be as unhappy about this as anyone.

Some people think doctors should have let Charles Johnston die, after he was taken to the Medical Center's emergency room. But if that occurred, we might not have all the details mentioned above. The doctors would have violated their oath of NOT doing harm. And some of them might have been compared to a famous doctor, who's now running for Congress - Jack Kevorkian.

BIG PREDICTION: It happened in '88, and I say it will happen in '08 - my alma mater Kansas will beat Memphis tonight, and win the NCAA men's basketball championship. I hope you'll forgive me if I become a bit Self-centered after dark. As in Jayhawk coach Bill Self....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $3.15 a gallon at Raceway, I-185 and Victory Drive.... FREE concert by the U.S. Army jazz band at the RiverCenter.... and mall traffic to increase, with Muscogee County Schools on spring break....

COMING TUESDAY: Uhhhh - what do you think? The local news is going to have to be huge, to top this one....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation (of any amount), advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 604 (- 26, 4.1%, record low)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 36: Racquetball workout, 84 minutes. Total: 121.8 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 APR 08: THE CHURCH THAT GREW TOO MUCH

"He DOES need a boat." So said a Columbus pastor's wife, during a worship service Saturday night. Before someone twists this comment out of context, the wife was explaining how the pastor does NOT walk on water. She was NOT asking for donations for an Evinrude.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: It's a big weekend at the biggest church in Columbus, as Bill Purvis marks 25 years as pastor of Cascade Hills. He admitted Saturday night the celebration was timed to coincide with the Muscogee County Schools' spring break. But no, they are NOT adding special services until midnight every night this week.

Wife Debbie Purvis had a rare speaking part in Saturday night's special service, introducing her three sons and what I'd call their "significant others." Two sons are married, while the third will wed in three weeks. So the best time to ask the Purvis family for a loan might be mid-May....

The special anniversary service included a video presentation on Bill Purvis's years at Cascade Hills Church, accompanied by a 16-page glossy booklet. This may explain why the church has changed from full-color bulletins at services to one-page photocopied handouts.

The service answered a few unsettled questions I've had about Cascade Hills Church. When Bill Purvis arrived in 1983, he insisted on having the congregation accept him unanimously. Two families were opposed to him, but both missed the meeting where the vote occurred. The whispering campaign against Purvis may have started right there....

The Cascade Hills financial statement for February 1983 was shown, reflecting $5,319 in offerings that month. Many people will be disappointed to learn the statement for February 2008 was NOT included - including possibly those U.S. Senate investigators of mega-churches

But the anniversary booklet reveals Cascade Hills Church has "over 20 million dollars worth of property and an annual income of almost seven million dollars in 2008." Take that, you critics! That income is not even one percent of what Aflac earned last year....

Any ministry with a lick of sense will tell you the issue is NOT how much money they bring in - it's how many lives are changed. The booklet shows Cascade Hills Church has had 5,610 baptisms since Bill Purvis became Pastor. It's a good thing this church is down the street from a Columbus Water Works treatment plant.

While membership at Cascade Hills Church grew to a record high of 8,144 last year, Pastor Bill Purvis and his staff may be puzzled about some of the most recent statistics. The number of members grew by only 25 last year, after a surge of more than 1,000 in 2006. Perhaps people searched for his name online, and concluded Purvis had become a Scientologist.

The number of Cascade Hills Church baptisms increased last year. But it was less than half the record-high total of 2000. I would have thought the baptisms would peak in 1999, because so many people were scared of the Y2K bug....

But back to the service: Bill Purvis choked back tears, as he took the Cascade Hills Church platform to a standing ovation after the video presentation. Twice he pointed upward during the applause - which I think meant he was giving honor to God, not declaring himself number-one.

Bill Purvis noted the family portrait which was taken when he moved to Columbus in 1983, including his full beard. He joked of it: "That was our Mennonite look."

Bill Purvis recalled how his senior pastor tried to talk him out of taking the job at Cascade Hills Church. The pastor met Purvis in the parking lot of the old Macon Road Shoney's and said, "Nothing will ever come of your ministry." Purvis did NOT name that man, so we could learn if his career turned out any better.

Bill Purvis says he has "plenty of apology letters" from critics -- but he reminded worshipers he's not perfect. "My wife and I still have arguments," the Pastor admitted. Then he claimed in true Purvis style: "When we get to heaven, she'll find out how right I was."

There was NO special offering taken to mark Bill Purvis's 25^th anniversary at Cascade Hills Church. There wasn't even a special cake-cutting afterward - or at least one wasn't announced. Considering the church didn't have a wild game dinner this past winter, maybe there wasn't enough rattlesnake oil to put in the batter.

Bill Purvis gave glory to God throughout the service, for whatever success he's seen over the last 25 years. But he quoted one church analyst, who said Cascade Hills has "outgrown the culture." That may be a nice way of saying some people who see Columbus as a small town think this mega-church has become "too big for its britches."

As folksy, humble and self-deprecating as Bill Purvis is during sermons, I left Saturday night wondering why occasional rumors keep surfacing about this pastor....

+ Is it jealousy, because Cascade Hills is so large? Purvis openly said he hopes to see "50 mega-churches" in Columbus someday - which could leave many more empty buildings on Cusseta Road.

+ Is it personal, because that many people hold grudges -- and they somehow feel strange praying for God to make a senior pastor repent?

+ Is it skepticism, because the Purvis family seems so perfect? The Pastor openly will tell you he's not - even admitting a few weeks ago during a sermon, "I pull out in front of people."

BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Instant Message to Columbus fireworks maven Stephen King - thanks for moving the big Columbus State University fireworks show downtown Saturday night. But you're supposed to set those things off AFTER Kansas wins the big game, not before it....

My old alma mater Kansas advanced to the NCAA men's basketball finals Saturday night - but in the process, the Jayhawks almost blew a 28-point lead. North Carolina fought back to within four points in the second half, before losing 84-66. They tried hard, but at last UNC said Uncle.

And oooo, did it feel good for my Jayhawks to defeat Coach Roy Williams - the man who left Kansas for North Carolina five years ago. There's a good reason why the Tar Heels lost in the semifinals at San Antonio. It was the first time in the tournament they had played outside North Carolina - and in the Central Time Zone, they were one hour slower.

Kansas nipped the Tar Heels despite losing a key player on Friday. Backup guard Rodrick Stewart fell wrong and broke his knee, while attempting a 360-degree slam dunk in practice. Some people should leave the "360" stuff to Anderson Cooper.

Kansas moves on to a marvelous Monday match-up with Memphis, for the men's national championship. I like the Jayhawks' chances here, because they have a more balanced scoring attack. Besides, the other team has a history of cheating at basketball - you know, from that song "Walking in Memphis."

By the way, did you notice CBS Sports kept its studio hosts in New York for the Final Four - and did NOT send them to San Antonio? Either this network is tight on money these days, or they couldn't find a cowboy hat big enough for Seth Davis's inflated brain.

Before I go to sleep counting alley-oop slam dunks, let's quickly check other weekend headlines:

+ Columbus received a splendid Saturday soaking of rain, with more than 1.6 inches at the airport. My power went off for nearly an hour during the storm - so I hope the people who promoted "Earth Hour" last weekend are satisfied now.

+ The front-page banner headline of the Ledger-Enquirer declared the widow of a Fort Benning soldier wants sperm harvested from his body, while her in-laws are opposed to it. If Britney Spears lived in Columbus right now, she might be at the top of page one twice a week.

+ Columbus Urban League President Reginald Pugh announced he'll run again for Ed Harbison's State Senate seat. Harbison beat Pugh two years ago - but now Pugh's staff has had time to spy outside Harbison's house, and count how many days he actually lives there.

+ The Georgia General Assembly ended its session, by approving a bill allowing people with permits to carry guns inside restaurants. This should settle the "live or dead" sushi debate once and for all....

+ WRBL reported Debbie Ball will retire as Shaw High School softball coach and athletic director in June, to take a job at Brookstone. I personally don't understand this. Doesn't Superintendent John Phillips need staff members, for his new consulting business?

SCHEDULED MONDAY: Readers comment on the Doctors Hospital killings....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 630 (- 54, 7.9%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAYS 34-35: Spring cleaning, 150 minutes. Total: 104.70 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 APR 08: ONE NIGHT WITHOUT THE KING

The date was 4 Apr 68 - and on that Thursday night, I was in what we called the "playroom" of the family home. I was nine years old, and used most of it for play. But my Mom had a desk and office equipment in one side - so her idea of "play" was writing checks and invoices for my Dad's business.

I don't remember exactly what I was doing in the playroom on that Thursday night 40 years ago. But I was on a vinyl couch when a TV network interrupted the prime-time program. An announcer mentioned the shooting of Martin Luther King, Junior. Nowadays, the major networks might have settled for a ticker message on the screen - and Fox News Channel might have ignored it completely.

A short time later, the announcer came back on to declare Martin Luther King, Junior was dead. I buried my head in the playroom couch's padding. Even at age nine, I knew this was NOT good news. It wasn't even good enough news to get school called off the next day.

I lived on the Kansas side of Kansas City - and while my area was calm in April 1968, the killing of Dr. King sparked unrest on the Missouri side. Looking back, the sad thing was that the rioting was NOT surprising. It had become a familiar summer sight in several big-city "ghettos." And this was way back, before anyone had a "ghetto-blaster."

The Mayor of Kansas City, Missouri ordered curfews for several nights in April 1968, yet scattered rioting occurred. That mayor's name was Ilus Davis. To this day, I've never heard of anyone else named Ilus. The closest was that radio guy named Imus....

Kansas City had a minor-league hockey team in 1968 - and on that April night, the Blues happened to be in Memphis for a playoff game. Play-by-play announcer Lynn Farris called a radio station, to report the city of the King killing had an "eery" feeling of some sort. Things apparently seemed too quiet - the way plenty of young people feel today without their iPods.

The hockey game with the Memphis South Stars was called off that night. And in fact, the entire playoff series was moved to Kansas City as a precaution. Do the Columbus Cottonmouths know about this incident? They could stir up something in Knoxville, and stay at home until they win their semifinal round.

In April 1968, I'm not sure I knew Columbus, Georgia even existed. So I don't know how this city handled the murder of Martin Luther King Junior. The home city of Dr. King was Atlanta, and it remained calm -- but perhaps it remained a "sleepy Southern city" until the 1970s.

We hear the "where were you" question a lot, when it comes to the murder of President Kennedy. But I don't tend to hear it much about the death of Martin Luther King Junior. Perhaps that's because a sizeable number of people were glad to see him go. He seemed to find fault with so many things in society - perhaps as many as fundamentalist preachers still do now.

Some people remember 1967 for the "summer of love." But we tend to forget (perhaps on purpose) how 1968 was a year of death. Two months after the King assassination, Robert Kennedy was murdered in Los Angeles. I actually talked about it the next morning, with someone in my church's Vacation Bible School. We talked like immature budding journalists - bragging to each other about who heard the news first.

It's curious to me that no African-American organization in Columbus is doing anything, to mark 40 years since the assassination of Dr. King. Thursday's edition of "The Courier" didn't even mention it. I can't believe people are still recovering from the holiday celebrations of mid-January....

Even in Atlanta, the assassination of Martin Luther King, Junior may have lost some impact. I was stunned to learn this week that a radio station is holding a "March Sadness" tournament, to find the saddest event in human history. Dr. King made the 64-entry bracket, but lost in a first-round online vote to the death of Dale Earnhardt. But at least that other "King" from Memphis missed the cut - Elvis Presley.

E-MAIL UPDATE: What seemed to be good news from a Lee County high school brought a skeptical message from a reader Thursday....

Yea for Smiths Station High on a fruitless drug search with 6 dog sniffers...But,pills don't smell..From the teens I work with taking pills from parents and other adults is now the norm..Parents don't leave your Rx where teens can be tempted..They might not take them ,but the market for pills is big business.

Sorry, but I have to disagree with part of this. Some pills have a distinctive scent. They simply aren't inviting aromas - which is why I think more people would take medicine if they were coated in chocolate.

BIG PREDICTION: I'm not sure how it will happen, but my beloved Kansas Jayhawks will find a way to beat former Coach Roy Williams and North Carolina at the college basketball Final Four this weekend. Maybe the fans can psyche out Williams, by holding Bonnie Bernstein masks over their faces to remind him of 2003.

Now for other quick picks from a Thursday which I actually found comfortable....

+ Columbus had clouds, but a lack of rain. Yet an isolated thunderstorm dropped seven inches of rain on Claxton, Georgia. You DO prefer moist fruitcake, don't you?

+ The Columbus Catfish opened the new season by losing to Savannah 2-0. The attendance at Golden Park was a surprisingly large 1,895. Opening your season on a night with cheap beer makes all the difference in the world.

+ Atlanta's baseball team lost to Pittsburgh 4-3 in ten innings. Pitcher Mike Hampton was supposed to make his first start for Atlanta in three years - but he pulled a muscle warming up before the game. This guy could go to a Hampton Inn, and be turned away as a bad omen.

+ Instant Message to Wane Hailes of The Courier: I thought you were an ethical man. But putting your signature on an "obituary for Common Sense" tells me otherwise. And the fact that the item was sent through e-mail by Republican state lawmaker Richard Smith really has me wondering about you....

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: We head to what should be a large anniversary party....

To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 684 (+ 27, 4.1%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAYS 33: 3.35 miles run, 0.2 walked. Total: 104.70 miles run, 14.5 walked

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.