21 NOV 07: A HATCHET JOB

It's the eve of Thanksgiving - and countless cartoons are likely to show a turkey fleeing for its life from a hatchet-holding pilgrim. Let's all be thankful the pilgrims moved beyond nooses long ago....

But a hatchet made the local news Tuesday, in a strange way. A man appeared in Recorder's Court on charges of using a hatchet and a ladder to get inside a Columbus bank branch. The only place where this approach might make sense is SunTrust on 13^th Street -- but breaking the message sign at the top of the building would give yourself away.

Anthony Jones is accused of breaking into the roof of the CB&T branch on Second Avenue Monday morning. I suppose this beats walking into the lobby. And maybe he believed those stories about bank executives having penthouse offices and golden parachutes.

But Columbus Police say Anthony Jones made a big mistake. He reportedly made so much noise breaking into the branch roof that the bank staff walked outside to avoid him. Police did NOT reveal if Jones tried something similar to this years ago, to elope with a girlfriend.

Police say once Anthony Jones went through the ceiling of the CB&T branch and found nobody there, he walked outside and was arrested. There's an obvious lesson here - if you start at the top, there's nowhere to go but down.

Breaking into a bank through the roof only earned this suspected bank robber a set of handcuffs. He didn't even have a chance to go to a teller, and ask for the undisclosed amount of cash that police like to talk about.

But it could have been worse for the robbery suspect. I've heard plenty of stories about people trying to break into restaurants through the roof, only to get stuck in chimneys. When it's a barbecue restaurant, it gives a whole new meaning to "pulled pork."

Police say Anthony Jones is 49 years old. So should he found guilty and go to prison for attempted bank robbery, will he be able to put this week's experience to good use? Or will he be too old to apply for work as a firefighter?

The name of this suspect admittedly rang a sad bell for me. I went to church with a younger Anthony Jones years ago, and he borrowed hundreds of dollars from me to buy a car. Even though we signed a mutual agreement, to this day he's never repaid the loan. Yet he somehow found the money to get married....

Before we borrow a ladder and jump off a roof, let's check other Tuesday news....

+ About one year before its grand opening, the National Infantry Museum provided a special tour for Columbus Police. Chief Ricky Boren told WRBL the project shows why Columbus should approve a one-cent sales tax for public safety next year. For one thing, the retired soldiers honored there will be too old to take police jobs.

+ The Phenix City Council voted to require written records of all metal recycling transactions, beginning in January. As the late Johnnie Cochran might put it: the wrong kind of bling could mean no cha-ching.

+ The Opelika Chamber of Commerce announced plans for a two-mile development project along Interstate 85, to employ thousands of people. "Celebrate Alabama" will include monuments to famous Alabamians, as well as an indoor water park - so don't be surprised if one diving board is reserved for a bronze statue of Rowdy Gaines.

(Something doesn't seem quite right about this project. Why would you announce something called "Celebrate Alabama" so close to Auburn, during Iron Bowl week?)

+ The Oprah Winfrey Show presented its annual "favorite things" special - which was taped in Macon last week. From the way the women screamed, thousands of middle Georgia homes must be more desperate for hand mixers than I imagined.

(No, I'm not kidding. When Oprah Winfrey unveiled Kitchen-Aid hand mixers as a "favorite thing," the audience in Macon screamed with delight. If I gave one of those to my wife or girlfriend, I'd do well to get more than a handshake.)

+ Georgia endured over Elon in men's college basketball 76-65. Billy Humphrey was restored to the Georgia roster, one day after Mike Mercer was kicked off the team. It's almost like Coach Dennis Felton is trying out to manage a fantasy league team.

+ Troy trampled Middle Tennessee 45-7, in an unusual Tuesday night college football game. The Trojans now go home for Thanksgiving - and the linemen may come back as wide as the middle of Tennessee.

+ Instant Message to R. Kelly: OK, today marks one week since your tour began in Columbus. In that time, Keyshia Cole reportedly threw a fit, your publicist quit - and now I read online that you kicked Ne-Yo off the tour?! Which cable channel will show this reality series?!

(And by the way - after seeing Ne-Yo on TMZ with Hayden Panettiere, he definitely traded up.)

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Today is "World Hello Day." Are striking members of the Writers' Guild allowed to write even that word?

+ President Bush and his wife told ABC News they have no clue about who will win next November's election. For one thing, the CIA intelligence report from New Hampshire hasn't reached the Oval Office yet.

+ Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama admitted to a group of students he did drugs and drank when he was a teenager. Among Democrats, this is no big deal. Among Republicans, Obama would be quitting the race today.

+ Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee gained an unusual endorsement - from former pro wrestling champion "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Why would Flair choose Huckabee? Is he "custom fit from head to toe?" Or is it because Huckabee is a minister, so he knows something about "walking that aisle?"

+ Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania expressed skepticism about providing more money for the fighting in Iraq. He actually asked reporters in Washington if they believe the Pentagon. Well, you're more likely to hear exaggerated war stories at a Veterans Affairs home....

+ Cable talk show host Bill O'Reilly returned from a hush-hush weekend trip to Afghanistan. People in Washington weren't really stunned by the trip - but they were stunned by the fact that O'Reilly was able to keep quiet about it for all of three days.

+ The U.S. Supreme Court agreed to consider a challenge to the Washington, D.C. handgun rules. The capital city bars citizens from owning guns - which of course is designed to protect lame ducks like President Bush.

+ The price of oil hit another record high, closing on futures markets at $98.03 a barrel. This is getting so out of hand that gas customers may demand oil companies learn a lesson from ice cream companies - and switch to smaller-sized barrels.

+ Arizona religious sect leader Warren Jeffs was sentenced to two consecutive terms of five years to life. If he stays for the maximum sentence on the first count, has he already faced the day of judgment after the resurrection?

+ A judge in Kentucky ruled a husband is allowed to see e-mails his wife sent at work. Bobbie Malmer works in a state job, and her husband suspects she had an affair with another state employee. This is one case where "IM" might not mean Instant Message - but Interim Man.

+ Neil Diamond revealed he wrote the classic song "Sweet Caroline" in honor of Caroline Kennedy. So where did he get the inspiration for "Cracklin' Rosie" - from Rosie O'Donnell?

+ NBC revealed the cast of the upcoming "Celebrity Apprentice" will include Gene Simmons from the rock band Kiss. Well, that would be a first - someone sticking his tongue out at Donald Trump in the board room.

+ As we mentioned earlier, Oprah Winfrey presented her annual "Favorite Things" show. Other talk show hosts tried to compete as best they could - with Steve Wilkos presenting his "Five Favorite Screaming Rants," and Maury Povich offering his "Favorite Dances by Disproved DNA Daddies."

+ An international conference on toilets opened in South Korea. We'd say we were flush with excitement about this - but most of the delegates probably have used that line already.

E-MAIL UPDATE: For the first time since we started writing online monologues in place of the striking writers, we have a comment about one of our items....

Have you noticed how much Queen Elizabeth looks like the pictures of George Washington? Poor Charles,at this rate he will be ancient before he becomes king.

No, I hadn't noticed the similarity -- but President Washington seemed to have a lot more hair.

SCHEDULED THURSDAY: We'll spend the holiday playing e-mail catch-up....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1859 (+ 45, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

20 NOV 07: H-2-OWE

Perhaps we should have seen this coming. In the middle of a severe drought, here comes a request to increase the price of water in Columbus. This strategy works so well for OPEC -- so why not the water works?

Columbus Council will hear a proposal from Columbus Water Works today for higher rates. You can see the PowerPoint version of the proposal right now, on the council agenda section of the city web site. Thankfully, it has no running water sound effects to make it sound like they're violating the drought restrictions.

Columbus Water Works argues it lost one million dollars in revenue this year, because Swift Manufacturing closed. And it's had to remove more than 15 million dollars from reserves in the last ten years. It's almost like a satellite version of the "Uptown Tap...."

Columbus Water Works notes its typical monthly rate is about one-third that of Atlanta. OK, but consider the differences. Atlanta's reached the point where it might have to send empty railroad cars to Texas, and have them wait for rainstorms to fill them.

Columbus Water Works adds its operating expenses have gone up almost 11 million dollars in the last ten years, even though its staff has been cut by 12 percent. It makes you wonder how many personal fountains President Billy Turner had to shut off.

The Columbus Water Works is submitting a five-year plan, with rates going up about four percent every year. That computes to your water bill being about 21 percent higher five years from now. But you could do what Governor Sonny Perdue recommends - and take 21 percent shorter showers, ignoring anything below the kneecap.

(Which reminds me: why doesn't Governor Perdue recommend what I did several years ago when my Atlanta suburb lost water service for a couple of days? They're called Wet Ones wipes....)

Without a rate increase, Columbus Water Warns it will have a deficit of more than 17 million dollars in the next five years. But the chart used to make this claim shows revenues relatively flat. Shouldn't all the new soldiers from base realignment change that? It's not like they're coming from the Arizona desert, and going without water now.

I didn't realize before reviewing this presentation that your minimum Columbus water bill depends on the size of your water meter. A five-eighth inch meter has a minimum charge one-tenth of that for a six-inch meter. Keep this in mind, when some fast-talking salesperson tries to make you buy a high-definition TV big enough to fill your wall.

The Columbus Water Works presentation adds it already has an "affordability program" in place, for people who have trouble paying water and sewer bills. But it wouldn't quite be nice, to call this proposed rate increase a recruitment campaign.

The latest insert with Columbus Water Works bills also attempts to sell customers on a rate increase. But it takes a different approach -- explaining much of the city's water infrastructure will need upgrades in the decades to come. Mixing a little Rustoleum into the water simply wouldn't work, I guess....

"We have arrived at a turning point," the water bill insert warns. And Columbus Water Works realizes you probably can't afford to turn your spigots off.

Yet how much of an upgrade do our water lines really need? The Columbus Water Works insert shows a picture of a water pipe laid downtown under Tenth Street in 1882. After more than 100 years, it was still "structurally sound" - proving those rock bands on Broadway aren't nearly as loud as people think.

Now let's collect other drips and drabs of news from Monday....

+ Wal-Mart donated more than 150 turkeys to Fort Benning, to give to families of soldiers deployed overseas. At first glance, it looks like a continuation of God Bless Fort Benning. But come tax time, Wal-Mart might be more likely to say, "God Bless Schedule A" - as in the charitable donations line.

+ The Columbus NAACP accused the Muscogee County School District of racism in its retirement plan. Some white plant employees reportedly can be part of the teachers' retirement plan, while African-American employees with similar experience cannot. While they're at it, are the school cafeterias serving Thanksgiving turkeys with white or dark meat?

+ Alabama Democrats complained about a new set of billboards, congratulating school districts and students on their test scores. Half the billboards show Governor Bob Riley's picture. Aw c'mon - that's not politics. That's called preparing future students for an Alabama History exam.

+ WLTZ News showed an EMS accreditation class at St. Francis Hospital. Unless my eyes deceived me, one of the EMS attendants looked like was WRBL part-time sportscaster Jack Rodgers. Not that anyone in Iowa would notice that, or that anyone at the Ledger-Enquirer would bother watching that station anymore.

+ WLTZ also provided a sneak preview of the new PX at Fort Benning, which opens Wednesday. Among other things, it has a Starbucks Coffee shop - making it the only one south of Manchester Expressway. One of these days, someone in Columbus South will counter this with a 24-hour store selling nothing but Red Bull.

+ Michael Vick surrendered to authorities in Virginia, and will remain behind bars until his sentencing on dogfighting charges. Vick apparently can't stand to watch Atlanta Falcons games on TV anymore, either....

+ Auburn danced past Charleston Southern in men's college basketball 89-59. At one point late in the first half, Auburn was shooting 70 percent from the field -- so hot that members of the science faculty were ready to blame global warming.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Contract talks have been scheduled for next Monday in the Writers' Guild strike. The writers apparently are NOT so broke that they'll go without Thanksgiving dinner....

+ So I'm online Monday, and I read this Yahoo news headline: "Food makers pressured to cut sodium." I took that idea with a grain of salt.

+ It was a sad day for television viewers, as actor Dick Wilson died at 91. He played "Mr. Whipple" in Charmin bathroom tissue commercials for decades. So if you're going to his funeral - please don't squeeze the forearms.

+ Britain's Queen Elizabeth celebrated her 60^th wedding anniversary, with a special church service. Prince Charles attended, and quietly wondered how he missed out on such a great example....

+ Former White House adviser Karl Rove told Newsweek magazine that Republican presidential candidates should go after Hillary Rodham Clinton. In Rove's words: "She lacks her husband's political gifts" - which is why you've never heard rumors connecting her with unmarried men.

(An ABC News/Washington Post poll in Iowa found one-third of the people there have spoken with a presidential candidate. I suppose this means directly - as opposed to talking back to the TV set during a political commercial.)

+ Plans were announced for the fall 2008 pre-election debates. The Presidential candidates will debate three times. The vice-presidential candidates will debate once. And absolutely no questioners will be allowed to dress like snowmen.

+ CBS News cited a recent Pew Research survey, which found 93 percent of young U.S. residents regularly use the Internet. I didn't know seven percent of all children in this country were Amish.

(The survey also revealed 33 percent of young people have been contacted by strangers while online. This is why every computer should come equipped with a pop-up blocker - so strangers can stop telling teenagers they're the one-millionth web site visitor of the day.)

+ Britain's Financial Times reported on a recent study, which showed men get their drinks in coffee shops an average 20 seconds faster than women. At last - an explanation of why men run faster in track and field.

+ Lloyd Carr announced his retirement as the University of Michigan football coach. Ann Arbor is located so close to Detroit that Carr trade-ins are expected sooner or later.

+ Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees was named the American League's most valuable player. You know he's valuable when Warren Buffett is advising him about a contract extension. [True!]

+ Former boxing champion Mike Tyson was sentenced to one day in an Arizona jail, for cocaine and drunk driving charges. Betting windows immediately opened in Las Vegas, on whether Tyson would top Lindsay Lohan's actual jail time of 84 minutes.

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1814 (+ 45, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

19 NOV 07: GOING QUIETLY

The number seemed hard to believe - only one fence climber arrested this year on SOA Watch Sunday. Does this mean protesters don't want to go to prison, the way they once did? Or is this a statement about national obesity - that very few people can climb the Fort Benning fence?

As of Sunday night, the SOA Watch web site counted 11 total arrests from Sunday's protest outside Fort Benning. One person climbed a fence, while ten others walked onto post "through a side entrance." This is what happens when they keep Interstate 185 open all weekend.

SOA Watch also reports three protesters face local charges, because they carried crosses "whose size exceeded Columbus police regulations." I didn't know there was a city rule on these things. The people who roll a giant cross down the Riverwalk every spring need to turn it into firewood in a hurry.

The 11 arrested protesters were freed on bond Sunday evening, and are due in federal court in January. Wow - this could mean no Monday morning march down 12^th Street, for an arraignment downtown. We hope Ruth Ann's restaurant isn't financially hurt by this.

The web site didn't show an attendance count. But one TV newscast said 9,000 protesters showed up at the Fort Benning gate Sunday. That's a big drop from last year's SOA Watch estimate of 22,000. And you can't blame the most obvious excuse for this - because Notre Dame's football team is dreadful.

The SOA Watch Sunday protest reportedly began with a blessing from the "International Mayan League." This is a new one on me. Why can't Maya Rudolph of "Saturday Night Live" have a simple fan club?

Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich addressed the protest outside Fort Benning. He promised if elected, he'll make the closing of the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation a top priority. For the next two months, of course, Kucinich's top priority is how to raise more campaign money than Ron Paul.

Former Georgia Rep. Cynthia McKinney also showed up Sunday to protest WHINSEC. Would you want this woman endorsing your cause, after some of the things she's said and done in recent years? I'm a bit surprised she hasn't blamed the Bush administration's policies for the drought.

On the other side, Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer reported more than 20,000 people attended God Bless Fort Benning over the weekend. But it noted that crowd included about 9,800 soldiers and 2,000 officers -- so military personnel may have outnumbered civilians. We would have hoped for this rally to look more like Columbus than a city in Pakistan.

Last November God Bless Fort Benning held a "remembrance breakfast" on Sunday at Green Island Country Club. If it happened again this weekend, the Sunday night newscasts didn't show it. If you forget to attend an annual remembrance, should you be checked for Alzheimer's disease?

Maybe people on all sides in this annual showdown were a bit tired this year. WRBL decided the top story at 6:00 p.m. wasn't a rally or a protest, but an afternoon of light rain in Columbus. That probably matters more to everyone - because without water, people both pro and con will drop from dehydration.

Let's see what else climbed the fence of our thinking Sunday, to get our attention....

+ Callaway Gardens held its annual charity "Nightwalk" at the Fantasy of Lights. Gardens officials say they're trying to think "green" this year, with solar offsets of some kind being exchanged for the lightbulb power. I'm old enough to remember when a "solar offset" meant you put on suntan lotion.

+ The Columbus State women's soccer team lost in the national quarterfinals to Tampa. A close game came down to penalty kicks - which made some guys wonder why drill team members aren't kept on the bench for moments like that.

+ Tampa Bay drained the Atlanta Falcons 31-7. Fox Sports counted at least eight dropped passes by Atlanta receivers - so maybe they should turn up the thermostat at the Georgia Dome, to make things stickier.

+ Instant Message to Beacon University: I think it's safe now. Go ahead and change your clock on Veterans Parkway back to standard time. I mean, it's been two weeks....

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: There's still no word of contract talks in the Writers' Guild strike. One sticky issue could be who will write the contract - and whether an attorney has to join the union to do it.

+ The lack of writers didn't stop the American Music Awards from going ahead Sunday night. "Will.i.am" said a dirty word in the first minute of the show -- so be thankful the ABC censors were crossing the picket line.

(The American Music Awards had some strange results. Beyonce Knowles was given a special award for being an International Artist -- but she lost two separate categories to Fergie and Rihanna. I have a funny feeling this is a prelude of the presidential votes in January.)

+ Talks resumed Sunday between striking stagehands and producers of Broadway shows. The producers want a settlement by Thanksgiving - because if the stagehands don't have a stuffed turkey ready to bring out at the proper moment, who will?

+ Japan began its first expedition to hunt humpback whales in four decades. It's a good thing this didn't happen along the U.S. West Coast - because the fishers might target some pro football linemen by mistake.

+ National Public Radio reported the U.S. national debt is now at 50 trillion dollars. Now this is truly scary - because we can't even pay it by taking the Bill Gates family hostage.

(The national debt shows no sign of declining anytime soon. Especially not when billionaire Warren Buffett tells Alex Rodriguez to negotiate a 270-million dollar baseball contract....)

+ A cafeteria worker at the U.S. Capitol was fired, because a lawmaker asked for a grilled sandwich - and the staff worker served it toasted. Fine points like this matter with members of Congress, of course. When was the last time you heard of a Senate committee toasting a witness?

+ Pro football had its strangest moment of the season, when a Cleveland kicker forced overtime against Baltimore. Pat Dawson kicked a field goal which went off an upright, then the back of the goal post behind the back line. The officials were puzzled for several minutes about whether the kick was good - while in a billiard hall, there wouldn't be any question.

+ Houston edged New England 2-1 to win the championship of Major League Soccer. The MLS Cup final in Washington was NOT a sellout. This is what happens when Victoria Beckham's husband misses the playoffs....

+ Jimmie Johnson won his second consecutive NASCAR season championship. Since Lowe's is his sponsor, Johnson may face a handicap next season - and be forced to drive with two-by-fours sticking out the windows of his car.

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1769 (- 119, 6.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

18 NOV 07: A CITY SO BUSY

It was about 8:50 a.m. Saturday when I walked out the door to go to church. A bit of slushy ice was on the rear windshield of my car. Why the slush was on the side facing the sunrise while none was on the other side, I don't quite understand.

I allowed myself a few extra minutes to get to church - and less than a block from my home, I was glad I did. A Columbus Police officer had stopped traffic at Fifth Street and First Avenue. Not for march practice by SOA Watch, but the God Bless Fort Benning 5,000 meter run. The runners wore costumes in a way -- because it was only about 35 degrees F.

The female police officer was waiting on what she called "stragglers" in the road race. They came in pairs or threesomes, with a couple walking more than running. They could have passed for Fort Benning soldiers, in their second week of basic training.

After taking a short unplanned side trip down Fifth Street, I was off the road course and on the way to church. So I missed the crowd at God Bless Fort Benning - and for some reason, the only lines of traffic I noticed all day where heading to the Cottonmouths game after dark.

Yet on the way to church, I also felt the impact of the SOA Watch protest. I drove in the center lane up Veterans Parkway, and suddenly found two large tour buses on either side of me. One was marked New Orleans, and the other seemed to be from out of town as well. Neither one was from Groome Transportation, taking evicted protesters to the Atlanta airport.

Once I arrived at church, a couple of people there expressed concern that the close proximity of God Bless Fort Benning and SOA Watch activities downtown might cause some trouble. But apparently the two groups got along fine, as the late news didn't mention any arrests. Which group do you think would be more likely to spend a late night at the Broadway bars?

About 5,000 basic training members were bused from Fort Benning to the God Bless Fort Benning party on Broadway. They wore military outfits, so everyone would be sure to spot them and "hug a soldier." In Columbus, this is acceptable. In parts of Iraq, it could be downright dangerous.

The basic training soldiers were able to make free five-minute phone calls to family members across the country. This time limit must not have seemed very long. Carlton Gary probably has longer sessions with his attorneys on death row every week....

So if God Bless Fort Benning wasn't using South Commons Saturday, who was? I took a walk there during mid-afternoon, and only found hockey players and fans in the parking lot. If the Tidwells had hired a few Cottonmouth players as special guest stars, they could have saved on money for extra police.

In a possible first, a bus came from out of state to join in God Bless Fort Benning. It was filled with military supporters from Pennsylvania, who heard about SOA Watch and decided to respond. We hope they enjoyed staying overnight in motels across LaGrange.

While SOA Watch protesters filled Columbus motels, the managers were not exactly on their side. "GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS" said a sign outside Howard Johnson's on Veterans Parkway. The other side of the sign did NOT welcome SOA Watch - unless it was reminding the marchers to eat the lunch buffet before protesting.

SOA Watch held a Saturday afternoon musical rally outside the main gate of Fort Benning, along with workshops at the Trade Center. But the big event comes today, with a mass protest on Fort Benning Road - and with so many Catholic students involved, the emphasis will be on "mass."

SOA Watch organizer Roy Bourgeois says progress is being made to shut down the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation. He noted a House vote earlier this year to close WHINSEC failed by only six votes. Close losses didn't keep Mike Shula in his coaching job at Alabama....

WHINSEC again invited SOA Watch protesters into its building Saturday, for a presentation on what the institute really does. So anyone who climbs over the fence onto Fort Benning today only has himself to blame - because he could have taken a bus ride inside and staged a sit-in.

An SOA Watch protester from Wisconsin actually admitted to WRBL that she's noticed a change in what WHINSEC does, compared with the old School of the Americas. This was a startling statement - and made me wonder if she actually was a chaperone.

While noisy events occurred in two corners of Columbus, I left church at about 12:15 p.m. I sat in my car for a moment, and marveled at how quiet things were around me. No drumbeats, no motorcycle procession, no chanting - yup, I'm attending a conservative church these days.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Sometimes we get one hot tip at a time. Sometimes they come in bunches....

Sir Richard:

Rumors have swirled for months about our "mare," first it was a matter between her and East Alabama Medical Center. That issue was proven true. Just before going to trial with an out of court settlement.

Next; there was the "Park" plan. Well it seems that because of a grant writer's self-interest the program is moving forward. There has already been a confrontation between a heavy equiptment operator and an adjacent property owner! And, the Chairman of the "Hurt'sboro Water Board "Doesn't want to cause trouble.' so he is allowing a parking area to be built on the Board's property. Actually the "Park is virtually landlocked if the surveyor's measurements were adhered to! What is sad is - that no one would believe me until I produced letters attesting to the fact that; with a stroke of her pen - she has committed "Hurt'sboro to a $15,000.00 debt that is collectible in Federal Court. At one time the town had collected $5,000.00 for community improvement - but now no one seems to know where the money is at!!

As you know - the "mare" has been the manager of the JET center in "Hurt'sboro for some time. Well - it seems the board members there have had reason to FIRE the ol' girl - can you imagine that!!!

By the way, our garbage wasn't picked up again this week. Good thing its cooled off - the insects and the aroma - shouldn't be too overwhelming until next Wednesday. It MAY get picked up then?? And we can always call in the buzzards, if all else fails

THERE'S MUCH MORE TO COME!!!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

We dealt at length with the grant money for a Hurtsboro city park several months ago [14 May]. At the time, grant writer Bob Corwin denied he sought a state grant simply for his cut from the city. But if Corwin had NOT sought the grant, would the Constable accuse him of being lax in his job?

But hold on here - was the Hurtsboro Mayor actually fired from the Jet Adult Care Center? A staff member at the center denied it, when we called the other day. But the staff member confirmed Sandra Tarver-Yoe didn't work there anymore - so maybe she found a better job with the new owner of that grocery store.

So why did Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoe leave the adult care center she helped found? The staff member admitted she wasn't "at liberty to tell me that," but she took my name and phone number to have a member of the center's board call me. As of Saturday night, no one had called - but this is Hurtsboro, and pink message slips might move a bit slower there.

As for Constable Schweiger's other allegations: we called the Hurtsboro City Hall for a comment Friday afternoon - but no one answered the phone. So maybe the staff was out looking for thousands of dollars, in people's garbage bags.

Next up: a question that's come up several times in recent weeks....

I saw sprinklers running at Ft Benning,are they exempt from the no watering ban?

As I understand it, yes. Fort Benning is in Chattahoochee County, and the boundary line for the watering ban is Muscogee County. So fill your buckets with water indoors, drive them to Cusseta and sponge your car down all you want.

And uh-oh -- is this blog in trouble again?

Okay- you've gone too far- you made me laugh out loud at a mortuary! Shame on you!

People are reading this blog at a mortuary?! Some people will go to any lengths to find free Wi-Fi access....

We thank all of you who write us - and now let's write a little more about the weekend:

+ The Army Corps of Engineers decided to reduce the flow of water down the Chattahoochee River from Lake Lanier - but by only five percent. I can't wait to hear Governor Sonny Perdue describe about 250 million gallons a day as a "drop in the bucket."

(Believe it or not, I heard an older man at church this weekend pooh-pooh the prayer vigils for rain. He declared God is "not in the rain-making business." I didn't recognize the man, to see if he was a retired meteorologist.)

+ The Courier's "Street Committee" claimed Keyshia Cole bailed out of the R. Kelly concert at the Civic Center, because she was upset with the order of the performers. Cole reportedly wanted to appear after Ne-Yo, not before him. Too bad for Cole that VH-1 doesn't do "Diva Night" concerts anymore....

+ WLTZ showed no "local" Saturday night newscasts, so apparently their new news team is working only five days a week. There might have been more meaningful information on "Real Time" with Bill Purvis, anyway.

+ WRBL's late news included a headline: "CYCLONE DAMAGE." I was thrilled at the thought of seeing undefeated Kansas crushing the Iowa State Cyclones 45-7 -- but then I saw those needy people in Bangladesh....

+ Georgia won an important football game over Kentucky 24-13. The Bulldogs' Michael Henderson proposed to his girlfriend on the field before the game. Then I assume Coach Mark Richt gave the couple instructions on how to romantically hug and kiss.

+ Instant Message to all Alabama football fans: Baptist ministers across the state will be waiting for you today - so you can repent, and bring your Nick Saban gods to be burned.

(Really now - Louisiana-Monroe 21, Alabama 14?! How ULM-barrassing....)

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths lost to Knoxville 6-4. It was the season debut of Cottonmouths defenseman Tom Wilson - and he wound up in at least two fights. Wilson needs to transfer away from Columbus EMS, and become a boxing coach at Comer Gym.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: The cast of "Saturday Night Live" moved to a Manhattan theater Saturday night. An "improv" program was held, because of the continuing Writers' Guild strike. If someone smuggles a tape of that show onto the NBC web site, we'll have some real fireworks.

+ A New Jersey SWAT team was disbanded, after pictures surfaced of a road trip members took two years ago. They went to the Gulf Coast, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina - but the pictures showed them partying at a Hooters restaurant in Tuscaloosa. You don't use pepper spray to spice up chicken wings, you know....

+ A report from international climate experts warned global warming has become so bad, sea levels are destined to rise as much as 4.6 feet. And we wondered why Panama City Beach was building all those ten-story-high condominiums.

+ An unknown buyer spent more than $30 million to buy a collection of rare U.S. coins. Some are original uncirculated coins from the 1700s - way back when no one had a good picture of George Washington to put on the quarter.

+ Coca-Cola's stock closed Friday at a new high, of $62.62 a share. This may force Pepsi to do what it's resisted all this time -- and answer"Coca-Cola Zero" with "Pepsi Minus-One."

+ Our sympathies to Martha Stewart, whose mother has died at a Connecticut hospital. But we still suspect plenty of women will watch the funeral closely - to see what Stewart wears, and whether the casket is a matching color.

+ Britney Spears made another trip to court - and a tape was played of her running a red light, with her children in the car. If she's not careful, Spears is going to wind up spending ten minutes longer in jail than Lindsay Lohan did.

(TMZ reports Spears now claims to have attention deficit disorder, and is taking the drug Adderal for it. So she can sign yet another big endorsement deal, and make Kevin Federline look like an even bigger bum.)

+ Country singer Garth Brooks wrapped up his comeback tour with concerts in Kansas City. He was disappointed to learn Toby Keith is refusing to surrender the title, "Big Dog Daddy."

+ College football had another big surprise, as Texas Tech topped third-ranked Oklahoma 34-27. The ABC telecast left one critical question unsettled. Why does Texas Tech keep calling itself the "Red Raiders," when the team wears black jerseys at home? [True!]

+ The Tennessee "Lady Vol" basketball team announced it will give away free tuition to a student at an upcoming game. We're trying to track down which female swimmer left school, and gave up her scholarship....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1888 (- 287, 13.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

16 NOV 07: WAR AND PEACE

It's very tempting to put this weekend's events in Columbus along the lines in our title. But this title always reminds me of an old Woody Allen joke - about how he speed read the classic novel "War and Peace." His conclusion? "It's about Russia."

The organizers of God Bless Fort Benning and SOA Watch are ready for their dueling weekend gatherings in Columbus. And for the first time in years, their paths actually may cross -- as both groups have events planned downtown. It's no wonder the Budweiser Clydesdales are remaining neutral, and appearing at Callaway Gardens.

God Bless Fort Benning has moved its Saturday celebration downtown, in part because it now has an office at 1012 Broadway. That's where Cumbaa Shoes used to be - so you'd think SOA Watch would have taken this spot, so protesters could sing "Cumbaa-Yah" every week.

The new headquarters of God Bless Fort Benning sounds a bit like a USO station. Soldiers can stop by and use free services such as wireless Internet connections. But this leaves one big lingering question. Why isn't there a downtown doughnut shop, to feed these troops?

(The Metro Columbus Home Builders Association donated about $60,000 worth of renovations, for the new God Bless Fort Benning office. Compare this with SOA Watch - where I assume the marchers have to cut out their own wooden crosses.)

Apparently because of the new home base, God Bless Fort Benning will be held on several blocks of Broadway this weekend. I have to say "apparently" because the organizers always deny their event is in response to SOA Watch - yet it's always on the same weekend, and the first two just happened to be tried alongside the big Sunday protest.

The chair of this year's God Bless Fort Benning Day is former Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff. This probably disappoints some cynics in the police department -- but c'mon now: how could Poydasheff have kept bagging groceries, after breaking his hip?

God Bless Fort Benning will be an all-day event, beginning around 8:30 a.m. with a 5,000-meter run. Any SOA Watch activists who want to participate will be allowed to go to the front of the line, to give the other runners reason to go faster.

God Bless Fort Benning also will feature food. WLTZ reported Thursday that the six children of Jack and Eve Tidwell will come together, and serve pancakes. Then a bit later, Keni Thomas may add some syrupy songs....

They've really raised the stakes at God Bless Fort Benning this year - and no, I'm NOT talking about Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I heard on TV Thursday that "Santa Claus" will attend. Isn't this amazing?! They may have found a Catholic guy that SOA Watch hasn't brainwashed....

(How will SOA Watch respond to this coup move? Will it bring on the Rivertown Ford dancing turkey, in a Thanksgiving tribute? Or is this pretend "Santa Claus" actually a reaction to all those tall protest puppets?)

But only a few blocks away from God Bless Fort Benning, SOA Watch has reserved the Columbus Trade Center for a weekend of seminars and workshops. At some point, they'll probably share the same route as Fort Benning soldiers - which could make the Tuskegee-Morehouse rivalry look downright friendly.

Do a YouTube search for "Columbus, Georgia" and you'll likely find video clips of SOA Watch protesters downtown. That's what came up when I did a search several months ago - proving the local rap music groups still have some catching up to do.

So as we asked here several weeks ago, what will happen if God Bless Fort Benning people cross paths downtown with SOA Watch people? Will we see classic Southern hospitality and friendliness? Or are we more likely to see an episode of "The O'Reilly Factor" break out -- or even worse, Jerry Springer?

This potential clash of cultures and ideology may explain why God Bless Fort Benning is spending a lot of money on security. The Ledger-Enquirer claims the Broadway rally has hired 31 Columbus police officers. But if Fort Benning soldiers are going to be there, is this really necessary? An SOA Watch provocation could inspire an Iraq flashback.

(Isn't it curious that the pro-military rally in Columbus is hiring dozens of police officers to keep the peace - while the anti-military rally doesn't seem concerned about possible troublemakers mixing in? SOA Watch seems to wait for the police officers to arrest their own protesters.)

While God Bless Fort Benning has to raise money through donations, SOA Watch brings in money from out of town. The Columbus Chamber of Commerce estimates protesters will spend $2.2 million over the weekend. We're not sure if that includes the money spent on Monday, by fence-jumpers posting bail.

Some Victory Drive motels reportedly are booked full this weekend. In fact, they've probably been busy throughout November. First the Fountain City Classic, then the high school cheerleading championship, now SOA Watch - and if those three ever combine, it'll be the loudest and fanciest step show that Fort Benning Road has ever seen.

SOA Watch usually has a celebrity guest or two of its own. This year, Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich plans to attend - so will all the protesters from Iowa and New Hampshire please clearly mark themselves?

We'll see which side makes a bigger impact - and now let's see what news stories hit our brain on Thursday:

+ A Muscogee County school tribunal expelled two Hardaway High School students for the year, because of that noose incident. In related news, all plans to form high school bungee jumping clubs have been postponed indefinitely.

+ A local woman told the evening news she plans to begin a petition drive, to stop a proposed liquor store across the street from Northside High School. I can understand her concern - but what would she want across the street instead? Should convenience stores have "happy hours," and lock the beer cases from 2:30 to 4:30?

+ WRBL reported the Historic Columbus Foundation will begin a community campaign to refurbish the Spencer House at Eighth and Veterans Parkway. The NAACP chapter spent a Saturday there earlier this year - but left with the exterior paint only scraped, not repainted. It was like that proposed Riverfest boycott all over again....

+ Auburn Police reported a gas station on Shug Jordan Parkway was robbed of $10,000. I knew the price of gas was jumping, but this is getting ridiculous....

+ Atlanta-based Pike Family Nurseries filed for bankruptcy protection. I suppose you could blame this on the drought - but couldn't this company start selling cactus instead of geraniums?

+ Jacksonville jarred the Columbus Cottonmouths 4-0 - and the two teams combined for 116 shots on goal. They went to a hockey game, and a basketball game broke out....

(Carmike Cinemas showed the Cottonmouths road game on a movie screen at Columbus Park Crossing, and charged eight dollars a ticket. Does this show how much of a "hockey town" Columbus has become? Or do that many people think prime-time television already is in reruns, from the writers' strike?)

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue announced he'll bring the Columbus Northern and Warner Robins American Little League championship teams together this weekend - to play wiffle ball! This governor needs to stick to things he knows, like prayers for rain.

+ Instant Message to WLTZ Chief Meteorologist Mark Prater: What do you mean, we don't get much snow "down here"?! You're not down here. And last time I checked, Davenport, Iowa seemed to be a little colder in the winter than Columbus.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Ellen DeGeneres has canceled plans to do her talk show in New York next week. Members of the Writers' Guild planned to stage protests, because she's crossed their picket line in Hollywood. Well, she's never been accused of spelling her last name "The Generous."

+ A book called "Tree of Smoke" has won the National Book Award. Congratulations to the author -- but I somehow doubt anyone in southern California is going to buy that book for a while.

+ Democratic Presidential candidates held their latest debate in Las Vegas. John Edwards claimed the current system is "broken.... rigged.... corrupt." I wasn't sure if he was talking about government in Washington, or the blackjack tables on the strip.

+ President Bush announced he'll open normally-closed military airspace along the east coast, so commercial flights can move with fewer delays. I thought this President cared about national security - and now he'll invite all sorts of new picture-taking out airplane windows?!

+ Time magazine reported the average U.S. resident sleeps about eight-and-a-half hours a night. Either the people surveyed for this report were questioned on Sunday mornings, or they included the time they sleep on the job.

+ Parents in the Prince George's County, Maryland school system have orders to bring their children to the county courthouse this weekend for vaccinations. If the children don't receive required shots, the parents could be arrested.

+ Baseball home run king Barry Bonds was indicted on four perjury counts. A federal grand jury suspects he lied about not knowingly taking steroids. But wait a minute - no indictment for all the bases Bonds stole years ago?!

(Barry Bonds does NOT have a contract for next season -- but he's been offered a one-year deal by the minor league Washington, Pennsylvania Wild Things. I suppose Bonds could qualify, for having wildly-inflated statistics....)

+ Inside Edition reported "Heroes" star Hayden Panettiere faces an arrest warrant in Japan. Countless teenage guys are bound to be inspired by this -- and make their own warrants to attempt citizens' arrests.

+ The tabloid show TMZ revealed Paris Hilton has a new dog, and has named her Marilyn Monroe. Somehow, I won't be quite as interested in seeing this Marilyn Monroe stand over a steam grate....

(So if a dog named Marilyn Monroe stars in a feature film, should it be called "The One-Year Itch"?!)

+ Arizona upset second-ranked Oregon in college football 34-24. Yippee -- the dream of a national championship appearance keeps building for my alma mater Kansas! Now if long-lost sister school Ar-KANSAS would please beat Louisiana State....

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Was a local mayor fired from a "day job?" We sort out fact from fiction....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 2175 (+ 58, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

15 NOV 07: THE MEDI-GAP

Have you been following the news stories about the death of Kanye West's mother? Some reports have rushed so quickly to attack her plastic surgeon, you'd think he was racing around Southern California with leaking bottles of botox.

Reporters have been digging for dirt on the plastic surgeon of Kanye West's mother, and found several malpractice suits. But keep one thing in mind: anyone can file a lawsuit. It's another thing to win over a jury in court. O.J. Simpson soon may teach the country that lesson all over again.

Did you know Columbus's most famous doctor has a blot on her record as well? Only Dr. Jan McBarron's mark was a year-long probation, ordered by the Georgia Board of Medical Examiners. So for awhile, "Duke and the Doctor" was more like "Duke and I-Play-One-On-Radio."

I found the state records on Dr. Jan McBarron years ago during the LaughLine era, but I reviewed them Wednesday in the wake of Kanye West's family heartbreak. McBarron's Georgia medical license was placed on probation in December 1999, for several violations of state standards. But she didn't stoop to plastic surgery - or even prescribing Rogaine for her husband Duke.

The Georgia Board of Medical Examiners accused Dr. Jan McBarron of "diagnosing and recommending unproven remedies to unknown callers" during weekly appearances on WLTZ. McBarron contended her advice about herbal medicines and nutritional supplements was truthful. She simply left out the part about a lack of clinical research....

The 1999 document putting Dr. Jan McBarron on probation admits it was "a compromise and settlement.... to avoid further expense and litigation." Well, we certainly didn't want any Peachtree Natural Foods store to be forced inside Peachtree Mall.

The 1999 settlement also required Dr. Jan McBarron to add a disclaimer message to all broadcasts, noting her advice is "not a substitute" for an examination by a licensed physician. So her words are not a substitute - but the herbal products she recommends are.

Dr. Jan McBarron's probation ended in January 2001, but not before she had to pay a $5,000 fine as part of the Georgia settlement. So if you see signs outside Georgia Bariatrics talking about becoming "lighter in the wallet" - believe me, she's been there.

The only items on Dr. Jan McBarron's record since the 1999 probation are two cases where she missed deadlines to renew her medical license in other states. You can understand how this can happen - when you're busy searching across the South for the finest St. John's Wort.

So has Jan McBarron changed her ways, since having her Georgia medical license put on probation for a year? Is she now promoting real prescription medicines on radio and television? Or have patient complaints stopped, because they're tuning their AM radios down the dial to Neal Boortz?

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Remember the 30-day experiment we started, collecting credit card offers in the mail [1 Nov]? A strange thing has happened since we received two on the first day - we've received NO offers since. The marketing firms must be reading our blog, when they're not busy licking envelopes.

We head back to health issues, as we review news headlines from Wednesday:

+ Executives with The Growing Room admitted a child was hospitalized, with a possible case of drug-resistant staph infection. They told WRBL any rumors about quarantining children are false. And if you hear about someone at the child care center being in hot water - no, that actually means the toys are being cleansed in a dishwasher.

+ The city of Columbus marked the first "World Diabetes Day," with Councilor and nurse Jerry Barnes giving medical tests to Mayor Jim Wetherington and other Councilors. At one point, Barnes joked he was having trouble getting the mayor to bleed. Once aides are sure he's smiling, they'll get to work on that.

+ The Commandant of Fort Benning's Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation denied his program teaches "commando tactics." Col. Gilberto Perez told WRBL abusive military leaders in Latin America could be affected by factors besides WHINSEC.. He makes a good point -- why doesn't SOA Watch march outside Carmike Cinemas as well?

(The WHINSEC Commandant denied recent claims by SOA Watch that Bolivia is ending its involvement in the program. Right now, of course, the sight of a Bolivia sticker on Fort Benning could mean something besides WHINSEC - like an illegal immigrant going through basic training, to become a U.S. citizen.)

+ Russell County High School infielder Cyle Rasmus signed a college baseball letter of intent with Southern Illinois. So when brother Colby is called up to the St. Louis Cardinals, they can rent out rooms at an East St. Louis mansion on the side.

+ University of Georgia basketball player Billy Humphrey was arrested and suspended. Athens police say he had a knife longer than two inches, which constitutes a felony. Restaurant chefs across Athens immediately locked their carving knives in basement safes.

(The butter knives in my kitchen drawer have blades more than four inches long. If I took them to Athens, would I risk being arrested? Which spoon maker lobbied to get this law on the books?)

+ Instant Message to WLTZ News: I'm sure Bulldog football fans are reassured by those words you showed on the screen -- "Georgia Set for Tech." But why was Jeremy Moss talking about this weekend's game against Kentucky, which comes first?

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: A new list of the "50 Greatest TV Icons" by Entertainment Weekly magazine ranks Johnny Carson at the top. So which striking members of the Writers' Guild will accept this award, for writing all his jokes?

Ellen DeGeneres reportedly crossed the Writers' Guild picket lines, to keep working on her daily talk show. But maybe reporters misunderstood this -- and maybe she was trying to get the writers to dance a conga.

+ National Public Radio reported a carpenters' union in Washington hired homeless people to walk on an informational picket line, and paid them eight dollars an hour. These union leaders must be too busy taking M.B.A. courses, to spend time marching....

+ Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf announced he plans to step down as top General in the army by the end of November. Hopefully you won't mind if he sells his uniform on eBay, to pay for a personal cache of weapons.

+ Michael Mukasey officially was sworn in as U.S. Attorney General. Mukasey thought about making a series of phone calls, to get to know his staff - but then he realized Democrats might consider that political meddling, and launch yet another investigation.

+ The administrative law judge in Washington who sued a dry cleaner for $54 million has lost his job. A local commission on judicial tenure decided NOT to reappoint Roy Pearson - which should prove once and for all it's NOT about how you wear the robe, but what you're wearing underneath it.

+ O.J. Simpson was ordered to stand trial in Las Vegas on felony charges. If Simpson is convicted, he could go to prison for life - which at least would give him plenty of time to write another book.

+ Delta and United Airlines denied rumors that they're in merger talks. I'm leaning against this idea - because wouldn't the check-in lines at airports be twice as long?

+ New York Governor Eliot Spitzer announced he's abandoning an idea to give driving licenses to undocumented workers. There are other ways to handle this situation, of course. If you're behind a pickup truck with a flag bumper sticker that you don't recognize, slow down as a precaution.

+ The author of a new book on "outlaw racing" claims he drove from New York to Los Angeles in a record time of 31 hours, four minutes. Alexander Roy told National Public Radio he stopped only six times for gasoline. OK - but did he take two or four tires when he stopped?

(Alexander Roy averaged about 88 miles an hour to drive cross-country - and he did it in an old BMW with cruise control. Using cruise control to set this kind of record seems like cheating to me. A heavier right foot could affect the weight of the car, and slow things down.)

+ ABC News visited the "Autobahn Country Club" in Joliet, Illinois - where members can drive as fast as they wish on a three-mile road course. Why didn't someone think of this before -- the perfect answer to road rage?

(Of course, some Southerners would argue they don't need a country club to do this sort of driving. They have rural county roads already.)

+ A Hollywood photographer complained he was seriously injured, while following Britney Spears on a motorcycle. If there's any "celebrity justice," other members of the paparazzi snapped pictures of his injuries non-stop for ten minutes.

+ People magazine declared actor Matt Damon the "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2007. Barack Obama's chances of winning the Democratic Presidential nomination are in real trouble now....

+ Reality TV fell to another new low, when former "Different Strokes" star Todd Bridges and his wife appeared on the MyNetwork program "Decision House." But at least this couple is different from Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. In Bridges's case, all the cameras are inside the house.

+ The rural-based satellite channel RFD-TV announced it will show Don Imus's daily program when it returns in December. And here I thought the only cowboy in New York City was that naked one in Times Square....

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: A preview of The Showdown in Uptown....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 2117 (+ 72, 3.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

14 NOV 07: R. YOU READY?

Tonight will be a big night for Columbus music fans. R. Kelly will launch his latest tour at the Civic Center - although you'll forgive some local sports fans if they think he's former major league baseball player Roberto Kelly.

A Monday afternoon news conference was held at the Midtown Café, promoting the R. Kelly concert. WLTZ reported it was called to assure fans that the show was still on. This may seem like a strange thing to do -- but after the arrest of T.I. last month, it's understandable.

Promoters assured reporters R. Kelly's Columbus show will be every bit like the one he'll do in Atlanta and other cities. Oh really?! Have they been briefed on the city indecency rules, which put Bobby Brown in jail several years ago?

The news conference apparently also was called to spur ticket sales. As of Monday afternoon, the R. Kelly concert had NOT sold out. Perhaps fans are concerned they might be videotaped during the show - then be called to testify at R. Kelly's trial.

The name "R. Kelly" may have you wondering whatever happened to his legal problems. It's been five years since the singer was arrested on child pornography charges, and the case has yet to come to trial. If R. Kelly wasn't free on bond, you might think he's a suspected Muslim terrorist.

All sorts of legal motions have delayed the R. Kelly trial. It's now expected to begin next spring -- but I think he has to wait until there's a long break in the O.J. Simpson case.

A key evidence issue in pre-trial hearings has been whether a grainy "sex tape" actually shows the singer. In other words: should this tape really be rated R, as in Kelly -- or X, as in excluding him as a suspect?

Could it be that the longstanding charges against R. Kelly have hurt ticket sales in Columbus? Of course, there could be another explanation. Local entertainment lovers could be resting up for God Bless Fort Benning this weekend.

I'm admittedly not up on R. Kelly's music - but I learned online Tuesday night he sings a soul tune called "Chocolate Factory." Why his latest tour isn't sponsored by Hershey's "Special Dark," I have no idea.

Three other acts are on the tour with R. Kelly - but I confess I'm not familiar with them, either. For instance, who or what is Ne-Yo? Is he some kind of centrist politician - sort of a Ne-Yo-conservative?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our first message today actually came a few days ago, but we needed to check whether part of it was true:

The two students who ended up with the noose at their feet [10 Nov] was one white girl and one black girl,not that it matters..It was still wrong..Both girls said they were not threatened or embarrassed. I think it was a stupid move on the part of non-assuming boys ..This one incident of not thinking will make a negative change in their young lives..With all the news going on in the world I can't believe the Ledger ran article after article on the subject. Looks like a beautiful day...get out and run the river walk ,but jump the gators.

Correcting the first part of this: Muscogee County Schools spokesperson Valerie Fuller told your blog Tuesday she understands the targeted Hardaway High students are both African-American. A Thursday tribunal may determine whether the noose scared them or not. It should also determine the current high price of stupidity in local high schools.

The weather certainly has been nice for running lately, but I don't head down the section of the Columbus Riverwalk where the alligator warnings are posted. The bigger hazard for me is tripping over tired workers, who sleep on the 14th Street pedestrian bridge.

Let's pull up one more e-mail, relating to the drought:

Did you see on TV Sunday news about mansion in Marietta that is using more water per billing period that many neighboring houses put together..His neighbors were all stunned and wanted to know where the water is going...So,here we sit in Columbus with water restrictions and this guy is using more water than some small communities..

Yes, I did see that story - and the mansion purportedly is owned by the son of a liquor industry executive. So it should be no surprise, if he prefers things wet....

But here's the thing: Marietta is under the same "level four" water restrictions that Columbus is. And much like Columbus, Cobb County water officials admit they don't have any rules to punish water abusers. The only way to stop this may be a tried and true teenage prank - spreading soap all over the mansion owner's yard, to flush him out with bubbles.

Water issues top our look at Tuesday news headlines:

+ About 100 people attended a prayer vigil for rain, outside the Columbus Government Center. A reporter from WLTZ apparently carried an umbrella with her - which may show she doesn't trust somebody in Iowa reporting her local weather, either.

(The prayer vigil was organized by Remnant Church Pastor Sharon Billings. She explained she awoke early one morning, and heard a voice telling her to call Mayor Jim Wetherington. Other Columbus residents have had a similar experience - when noisy trash trucks are outside their windows at 5:30 a.m.)

+ The Army Corps of Engineers held its annual meeting on West Point Lake. WRBL reported Corps leaders promised the lake level will NOT go any lower - because then it might be as low as the Corps' popularity right now.

(Instant Message to Phenix City's Parks Department: How are you keeping Moon Lake at Idle Hour Park so full? I noticed that during a visit the other night - but I think the ducks were puzzled as well, because they didn't want to go onto the water.)

+ The Muscogee County Democratic Party presented its first "Jack Brinkley Award" for leadership - and it was given to former Congressman Jack Brinkley. Yeow, I don't think the late Lonnie Jackson even went this far....

+ The One Columbus organization, uh, organized "Mix It Up Day" at Columbus High School. Students were urged to sit at lunch with people they didn't know. When I was a teenager, some students would have misunderstood this - and "mixed it up" in the cafeteria with their fists.

(Don't high schools have "mixers" anymore, where students can meet each other and maybe dance a bit? Do administrators fear someone will walk in with an electric mixer, and possibly use it as a weapon?)

+ Auburn collared Kennesaw State in men's college basketball 74-62. Kennesaw State has stepped up to major college ball in the last couple of years - and now they'd rather play Auburn than risk another embarrassing loss to Columbus State.

+ A group of students at the University of South Alabama announced they'll stage a petition drive, to oppose the Mobile school starting a football team. You can always spot the students who transfer from North and South Dakota....

+ Which smart aleck tipped over a giant green artificial Christmas tree, in the middle of the Phenix City Riverwalk? Well then again, maybe it wasn't really a smart aleck. Maybe it was a fast-moving squirrel which couldn't tell the difference.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Striking members of the Writers' Guild must have felt like kicking themselves Tuesday, when Paris Hilton reportedly made an announcement in India about drunken elephants. It was all David Letterman could do not to call CBS stations, and offer to comment during the evening news.>

Public radio's "Marketplace" reported even before the strike, about half the members of the Writers' Guild were out of work on any given day. So they're used to walking around outside, carrying things in their hands - only right now they hold picket signs, instead of scripts.

+ But back to Paris Hilton: an entertainment news wire claimed she'd spoken out in India about elephants getting drunk and causing disasters in towns. Hilton reportedly urged farmers not to leave their rice beer out, where elephants can drink it. Please leave it in bars, for respectable people like Britney Spears.

(BUT later in the day, the Associated Press "killed" this story -- because Paris Hilton's publicist declared she'd never said anything about elephants in India. For one thing, Hilton probably was too busy shopping in Mumbai to notice India has elephants at all.)

+ A newspaper in southern India reported a man married a female dog. [True/Mail.com] It was supposedly a Hindu ceremony to remove a curse on the man, because he stoned two other dogs to death. Let's all hope the judge sentencing Michael Vick never reads about this....

+ NBC News reported several British Airways flights crossed the Atlantic in recent days with absolutely no passengers. This is an amazing waste of fuel - not to mention all the extra space I could have had flying coach.

(British Airways apparently flew empty flights because it's the only way they can keep some gates at London Heathrow Airport. If you think that's weird, go up and down the TV dial some weekend afternoon and count the infomercials.)

+ The Dow Jones Industrial Average had its second-biggest gain of the year, thanks to a strong earnings report from Wal-Mart. Starting those holiday discounts in mid-August may have worked after all.

+ The legendary jewelry store Tiffany's claimed most of the items sold with its name on eBay are frauds. [True/Marketplace] So if you see an album for sale by a pop music star from the 1980's, be skeptical....

+ The preliminary hearing for O.J. Simpson resumed in Las Vegas. One witness told the court Simpson wanted him to "bring some heat" to a hotel meeting. Several alleged accomplices brought guns - when all Simpson probably wanted was cream for aching muscles.

+ "USA Today" revealed the husband of retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has Alzheimer's disease, and appears to be in love with another woman at an Arizona care center. Even if Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes President, her marriage still may not be completely safe.

+ "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love Hewitt reportedly has called for help from real experts, to remove two ghosts inside her house. [True/Interprep.com] Really now - are those ghosts, or love-struck 16-year-old nerds?

+ A Newcastle, Oklahoma man showed off a special coil which supposedly can capture sparks in the air, and produce lightning in his backyard. This may sound strange - but keep in mind, his yard probably has the fewest mosquitoes in the state.

+ Authorities near Jacksonville reported they found a 32-year-old man dead -- stuck in the "cat entry" of a door. There are at least two valuable lessons here. Either lose some weight, or keep a spare house key in your wallet at all times.

+ Cleveland pitcher (and former Columbus RedStixx player) C.C. Sabathia won the American League Cy Young Award. This is an old Jack Benny routine just waiting to happen. "What's your name?" "C.C." "C.C.?" "Si." "What's that you're holding?" "Cy." "Cy?" "Si." "C.C.'s Cy?" "Si."

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 2045 (+ 59, 3.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

13 NOV 07: HAWKEYES ON THE PEACOCK

So did you watch the opening night of WLTZ's evening newscasts? If you knew it was coming, perhaps you did. If you didn't know it was coming, let me give you some important guidance -- Dr. Phil has moved to 4:00 p.m. ET.

Months of planning culminated Monday night, with the first local newscasts on WLTZ NBC-38 in 14 years. The Ledger-Enquirer made it a front page story - and it's a shame that it took the newspaper almost 12 weeks to confirm what we first reported here [22 Aug]....

In reality, the Ledger-Enquirer probably kept quiet because it's partnering with WLTZ for its three evening newscasts. Well, make that two-and-a-half - as The 6:00 Report was replayed in large sections at 7:00 p.m. It's a wonder they didn't simply call it The 6:00 Central Time Report.

WLTZ certainly kept its premiere of local news low-key. If not for the front-page newspaper article, most people never would have known it was coming. The station's web site wasn't even updated to announce it - instead promoting Dr. Phil broadcasts at two times of day when you can't see him anymore.

If WLTZ actually has own local news set, it wasn't on display Monday night. Maybe when a source told me about the fancy new set weeks ago, that person forgot to tell me it was in Iowa.

Almost the entire WLTZ newscast Monday evening came from Davenport, Iowa. Yet the anchors tried to make the news as local as possible - and never once brought up the presidential candidates campaigning all around them.

The top story for WLTZ's opening night of news was the federal holiday for Veterans Day. Trouble is, their report consisted entirely of Friday's memorial service outside the Government Center. You'll notice NBC-38 isn't promising "late-breaking" news - simply late.

If watching three-day-old news wasn't curious enough, a reporter claimed during the Veterans Day program, "Songs were SANG." Not sung - sang. So much for English teachers leading classes on WLTZ station tours for awhile....

WLTZ's newscast has fancy graphics and an impressive-looking set. But after weeks of rehearsals and a sample newscast shown to the Columbus Kiwanis Club, the start of the opening night news was sadly disappointing. And trying to connect someone at the Springer Opera House with Celine Dion and Oprah Winfrey was absurd - especially when we saw photos of Jimmy Carter.

The best part for me about the WLTZ Monday night newscast came at the one point when the Ledger-Enquirer's staff clearly was used. Action photos illustrated Columbus State's Sunday win in the women's soccer playoffs. If only those photographers had been used during the top story, we might actually have seen some expression on Mayor Jim Wetherington's face.

Al Fleming offered a commentary during WLTZ's 7:00 Report - but by then I was out jogging. I assume he patted his station on the back for launching a daily newscast, and bragged about how wonderfully different it will be from the other stations. Someone should challenge Fleming to name the other "Quad Cities" around Davenport.

The opening night of WLTZ news ended with a short late-night program called "11 @ 11." It repeated the top three stories from 6:00 (with songs still "sang"), gave you a short weather report - and included four-and-a-half minutes of commercials. The biggest news for me was the ad about a jewelry store going out of business.

It's probably not fair to rate a newscast or TV station by one evening. Things are bound to improve over time. But Monday's premiere of news on WLTZ probably left people smiling at WRBL - because there's finally a 6:00 and 11:00 newscast that's worse in the ratings than they are.

E-MAIL UPDATE: How can you watch all the local broadcast stations on satellite TV? A reader raised that question Monday, and another reader now responds:

Tell the Directv customer to be patient as locals will probably appear in 2008. They have launched one satellite (D10) successfully and another (D11) is scheduled for the 1st of the year that together with 2 other satelites (spaceway 1 & 2), there is supposed to be capacity for 1500 HD local stations. That should just about guarentee the Columbus stations will have an opportunity to be carried.

However, there are more pieces to the puzzle. While Directv may have the capacity, there has to be a local uplink center for the stations and there has to be an agreement between the local stations and Directv to carry them. Many large cities have missing HD locals due to disputes in compensation between them and Directv. You have to remember that Columbus is the #128 market out of #210, so there are some other larger markets ahead of us.

J.M.

This person comes across like he/she knows this topic well. If someone told me about a "spaceway," I'd guess that's where the Jetsons go to watch NASCAR races.

Now let's take off the "TV Critic" label and consider some news items TV newsrooms probably discussed on Monday:

+ WRBL reported the Columbus Water Board voted against tougher penalties, for customers who violate Georgia's watering restrictions. Maybe they plan a more secretive approach to punishment - like showing up late at night and spraying Krazy Glue over garden hoses.

+ SOA Watch announced Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich will appear at its rally outside Fort Benning next weekend. The "over-and-under" for how many UFO's Kucinich sees there is three-and-a-half.

+ TV preacher Creflo Dollar disclosed his Atlanta-area megachurch had about 69 million dollars in income last year. And then you wonder why some other ministers label him as a "prosperity gospel" preacher....

(Creflo Dollar told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution his congregation gave him a Rolls-Royce to drive. In Dollar's words: "Just because something is excessive doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong." This preacher obviously doesn't have Al Gore as a member.)

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths signed veteran defenseman Tom Wilson to a short-term contract. Wilson can't play Thursday or Friday nights, because he's working with the Columbus EMS. Then Saturday night, he may slug a Knoxville player right into his assigned ambulance.

+ Instant Message to the Atlanta Freethought Society: OK, so you oppose Governor Perdue holding an outdoor prayer meeting today. You probably oppose the one outside the Columbus Government Center, too. So what are YOU doing to bring rain?

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Roman Catholic officials announced Monday that Pope Benedict XVI will visit the Northeast U.S. next April. Some parts of the schedule remain uncertain. If the Writers' Guild strike isn't settled, the pope will have to find an alternative to appearing on "The Daily Show."

(Pope Benedict's U.S. tour will include a welcome at the White House, and an open-air mass at New York's Yankee Stadium. We're waiting for word about whether the New York Mets will postpone their baseball game that day, to obtain a special blessing.)

+ In another sign that the Writers' Guild strike could be lengthy, NBC's "Tonight Show" began showing reruns with Edd Hall as the announcer. I've lost track of Hall since he left Jay Leno - so has he won any reality game shows on cable?

+ House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called for Congressional hearings into a big oil spill in San Francisco Bay. San Francisco is Pelosi's home city - so could it be that she'll now prefer spills in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge instead?

+ A large fire broke out on the site of the 2012 London Olympics. There must be a better way to train British sprinters for the 100-meter dash....

+ Executives with E-Trade rejected financial analysts' suggestions that the company might have to file for bankruptcy. If it happens, I move the company be ordered to change its name downward to F-Trade.

+ Former Vice President Al Gore was hired by a venture capital firm in California's Silicon Valley. Maybe this means he'll get to put the "Energy Star" stickers on new computers.

(Al Gore admitted to National Public Radio he's concerned about television news giving more attention to "Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears" than to "complex choices" involved with climate change. He raises a valid point, you know. Who IS Spears endorsing for President, anyway?)

+ A CareerBuilder employee survey revealed one-third of the workers have called out sick during the last year, when they were really well. In related news, Republican Presidential candidates called on Democratic candidates to reduce their health care plans by 33 percent.

+ American Red Cross workers marked Veterans Day by handing out free doughnuts on the National Mall in Washington. NBC News explained the Red Cross was trying to atone for selling doughnuts to soldiers during World War II. That's funny - the Red Cross doesn't seem to apologize today, for selling donated blood to hospitals.

+ Elizabeth Hasselbeck called "The View," and announced her new baby boy is named Taylor. For a conservative Republican like Hasselbeck, this is simply shocking! That boy could grow up watching Taylor Swift sing country songs, and develop serious gender questions.

+ Country singer Toby Keith has been inducted into the Oklahoma state Hall of Fame. Don't bother asking anymore, Toby - they like you now.

+ The University of Wyoming's head football coach apologized, for making an obscene gesture with his hand toward the Utah bench last weekend. Let there be no doubt: this is NOT the way to tell your opponent they're the number-one team.

(Joe Glenn publicly guaranteed his Wyoming team would beat Utah last Saturday -- and Utah won 50-0. Let's all hope no one suggests Glenn give up coaching, and run for Congress.)

+ Boston Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia was named the American League Rookie of the Year. Pedroia reportedly played the last two months of the season with a broken bone in one hand -- which it turns out was better than the New York Yankees playing with a broken pitching staff.

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1986 (+ 65, 3.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

12 NOV 07: GETTING THERE FROM HERE

An interesting discussion erupted during the noon hour Sunday, at a gas station on Victory Drive. I walked inside to find a man giving detailed directions to someone from out of town. This station was run by the Dolly Madison bakery, so you're more likely to get directions on preparing whole wheat bread.

The man advised the out-of-towner to go past a few traffic lights. But I admittedly didn't pay much attention. I knew where I was going. And enough people were in line at the store that if I had spoken up, they would have told me to mind my own business.

After a moment, the tourist was out the door and on his way - and then the discussion began. The man had advised heading for Interstate 185, but a woman in the line said the tourist could have reached the very same place by going west and heading up Veterans Parkway. If another man had made that suggestion, we could have had a challenge race.

"But the man was trying to get to Buena Vista Road," the man explained -- apparently a place east of I-185.

"Well, that's different," the woman admitted. Since the tourist was male, he probably wouldn't be interested in the scenic route - not even on a Sunday.

But that didn't settle the discussion. Someone brought up the possibility of getting to Buena Vista Road via Cusseta Road, and presumably North Lumpkin Road. "It's just a couple of turns," that person said. Yes, if you count a "couple" as meaning four or five.

"But that would just confuse him," the first man said. "I tell people to go by the interstate, because everyone knows where that is." Unless you're an out-of-towner who might be confused by the fact that Interstate 185 never leaves the state of Georgia.

The first woman didn't want to debate this further. But she told a woman behind the station counter, "They've fouled up 185, anyway," The shoulders have been removed between Victory Drive and Saint Mary's Road - and it feels so tight that you don't dare try to pass a Fort Benning soldier in a Hummer.

By that time I was at the front of the line, so I prepaid for gas and went outside to fill up. But when I came back inside the station to buy some bread, the man who originally gave directions was still talking about it with an employee. You'd think the man was trying to talk his way into a job at the Columbus Welcome Center.

The station employee then said something about using Mapquest. Yes, that web site would work - but c'mon, this was Victory Drive. How many regulars on that street really can afford an iPhone?

What can we learn from this scene? I drew several conclusions from it. All gas stations along well-traveled routes such as Victory Drive should have maps, at least as a courtesy for visitors. But getting directions may be different from visiting a doctor -- as getting a second opinion might leave you thoroughly baffled.

Sports items dominate our review of the Sunday headlines:

+ WDAK confused sports fans with some of its programming. Tune in at one point, and you heard Columbus State starting a men's basketball game. Tune in 45 minutes later, and you heard Falcons football. I almost expected the biggest surprise of all to happen - a Georgia Tech broadcast.

+ The Columbus State women's soccer team won its second playoff game in a row, shutting out Carson-Newman 3-0. The Cougars must have been the lower seed, because they had to play two different teams....

(The Cougar attack was led by two goals from first-year player Stephanie Parrish. They could have won without her, I suppose - but Parrish the thought.)

+ The Atlanta Falcons scored a touchdown with 20 seconds left to collar Carolina 20-13. Believe it or not, the Falcons are only two games out of first place in the N.F.C. South - so maybe those prayer vigils for Michael Vick are working already, and he'll be quarterbacking the team in December while on probation.

(Morten Andersen kicked two field goals for Atlanta, making him the first player in National Football League history to score 2,500 points. He's scored more points in a 25-year career than Barack Obama might make in all his years of politics.)

+ Instate Message to the Atlanta Hawks: That was a bit of a slap - playing a home game at the same time the Falcons were on TV. Or were you trying to cleverly disguise another loss?

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: As if the Writers' Guild strike was not enough, stagehands went on strike over the weekend at theaters on Broadway. I'm already writing extra jokes every night - and now am I going to have to sing and dance as well?

+ Also in New York, Elizabeth Hasselbeck of "The View" gave birth to a baby boy. So much for taking a step toward peace, by naming a baby girl Rosie....

+ Which reminds me: Rosie O'Donnell admits talks have broken off with MSNBC for hosting a prime-time talk show. This seemed like the wrong channel all along, anyway. O'Donnell ought to be teamed with the "Queer Eye" guys on Bravo.

+ Former President Bush went skydiving in Texas over the weekend, at age 83. I'm admittedly baffled by this. Why would he want to illustrate his son's popularity level over the last three years?

+ The current President Bush welcomed German Chancellor Angela Merkel to his ranch in Texas. The dollar's value is so weak that every leader in the world may line up outside the White House over the next few weeks.

+ Across the U.S., people are marking Veterans Day - including a federal holiday today. How many young pro football players had to receive an explanation from their coaches, about why next Sunday is not Rookies Day?

+ A new book called "The Terrorist Watch" reveals an F.B.I. agent provided Saddam Hussein with a suit, for his trial in Iraq. [True/NBC] I'm a bit surprised Johnnie Cochran and his family didn't have any to spare....

(Saddam Hussein purportedly told that F.B.I. agent during debriefings that he pretended to stage rebellions inside Iraq, so he could trap his enemies and have them executed. How many office managers took note of that one, and plan to start some surprise whining today?)

+ Israeli authorities raided as many as 20 government offices. They're looking for evidence of fraud against Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. If he's learned anything from Saddam Hussein, all that evidence was quietly shipped into Syria months ago -- and maybe dropped on that mysterious factory.

+ A new $750 million tollway opened in Chicago - but for the first day, it was only open for bicycles. If crude oil prices keep increasing, of course, that could change....

+ The Sunday pro football schedule included Dallas downing the Giants 31-20. The Cowboys won despite a taunting penalty on what could have been the last play of the first half, which led to a Giants field goal. Only after the game could we confirm Terrell Owens did NOT change shirts and play defense.

(Would you believe Terrell Owens is now one of the captains of the Dallas Cowboys? Last year at this time, he seemed like a more likely candidate for captain of a mental hospital's fantasy league.)

+ Jimmie Johnson captured his fourth NASCAR race in a row, winning the Checker Auto Parts 500 in Phoenix. Johnson is the favorite to clinch his second Nextel Cup in a row next Sunday - and then people will start wondering who is that pretending has-been on "Fox NFL Sunday."

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.95 a gallon at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive.... FREE dinner for military personnel and veterans from 5:00-9:00 p.m. at Golden Corral.... and maybe some leftover pom-poms in the South Commons parking lot, after the cheerleading championships....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1921 (- 95, 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.