The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Friday, February 16, 2007

16 FEB 07: TALBOT TOPPLERS?

First we had Hurtsboro Monday - and now because of another e-mail to the blog, we may have to start a "Talbot Friday." If this keeps up, we may only cover Columbus topics once a week....

We first mentioned Talbot County's "Concerned Citizens" group last Friday. That post brought this lengthy response:

Dear Richard;

Citizens for Responsible Government --- CCRG

--- an undisclosed government source leaked the secret, albeit unofficial, name for the newcomers:

Concerned Crazies R Goofy.

You should see them at the monthly and informal county commissioners meetings. They come dressed up in full regalia, donning space gear antennas, earphones, video and what looks like directional high gain microphones (long range listening devices, perhaps?). They film the county meetings and listen to everything they can. They have reportedly discussed what appeared to be private info, did it come from closed executive sessions? I am not a lawyer, but I am told it is not illegal to use such devices --- but is it sleazy?

Some of the "Concerned Crazies R Goofy" followed a person who spoke at a County Commissioners meeting, to his car, to harass, jeer and try to provoke him. The man spoke to the County Commissioners to compliment a County employee on whom "Concerned Crazies R Goofy" are obsessively and destructively fixated.

Two weeks ago, one of CCRG board of directors, newcomers to the area, told me that her husband's family has lifelong best friend ties to LESTER (AKA) AXE- HANDLE MADDOX --- Interesting thing to brag about, best friends with an infamous racist, in a mostly black county.

They seem to be deeply in hate with their new community. Most Talbottonians regard them as pariahs. Though they are a non profit org they have serious political aspirations---to remove all county officials. One of the Concerned Crazies R Goofy Board of Directors recently told me they want every single person removed: Sheriff, Commissioners, Judges, Muscogee County DA, and basically many Talbot County employees. (They have sent large files to the Muscogee DA and since he apparently found nothing wrong with what they sent they have decided that he must be replaced). The Concerned Crazies R Goofy really don't understand, taxes, farming, farm subsidies, or contracts.

They are deluded enough to think they are going to remove all county government, remove/decrease all taxes, and build bridges and new roads.

They are about as realistically effective as NASA's psychological screening program!

They need your money. They have to pay $.25 per page for County Commissioners meeting minutes---so why are they filming every meeting and all inside and outside of the meeting? They want your money and are willing to do a bake sell to get it --- those minutes add up! Speaking of minutes where are all of their meeting minutes--- the minutes of their own meetings are not on their website-- oops, so much for THEIR OPENNESS. But, as I mentioned, they have a public profile and a private profile --- publicly the org is a non-profit that is all about bettering the government here with no political aspirations --- but privately they will tell you their reason d'etre is to dismantle the entire Talbot County government --- and, oh, yes, the Muscogee County DA, while they brag about their ties to Lester Maddox.

Our government is small, simple, unsophisticated, poor and lacking funds to do many needed repairs and county work. The reason is that we have a sparse population of ~6,000 people and 400 square miles (twice the size of Columbus), no industry, retail, large banks, ATM's, ER, hospitals, doctors, fast food, county-wide water and sewer system, county-wide emergency response team, county-wide cable, local media-newspaper/radio, county-wide cell phone coverage, or on-line government. Most of the people in the community do not own a computer. Last I looked we had about 4000 blacks in the county, and about 2000 whites. We need industry, we need more population and we need many other things, but while we are waiting for those things, we do not need Lester Maddox's friends to come and give us their misguided directions. The good people here are mostly too smart to listen to the Concerned Crazies R Goofy group.

On the side of Talbot County: the people here are strong and good. The county, as a whole, is very spiritual and loving. We have almost no crime. Everyone will try to help you, and invite you in for dinner and put a glass of sweet tea in your hand. This county is not about phony facades, or immediate gratification living. The people will look at you, not what you are wearing or driving. They will look into your eyes and deal with the person inside. The people here will talk about their church, the county history, and recollect several good, upbeat things about whatever your topic. For all we don't have, let me mention, what we do have --- The county is covered in ancient, pristine hardwoods. We have crystal clear streams, moss covered banks, fern covered forests, and magnificent hickory hollows. We have abundant wildlife, with puma, bear, deer, fox, bob cat, rabbits, wild hogs, turkey, geese, bald eagle, hawk, falcon and lakes teaming with fish. It is a grand and gloriously natural place.

Have you ever taken a deep breath deep in a hickory hollow that is covered in ferns? It is like an oxygen tent. Have you ever seen a herd of pie bald deer or an eagle's flight from the nest? Have you ever been tracked and circled by a lone and harmless puma, or been where there are no human sounds, only the calls of wild birds and the rustle of leaves in the wind? Have you ever been 4 miles from the nearest homesite? Have you watched a bluebird nest while you ate breakfast? Have you ridden a horse bareback through an ancient hardwood forest or visited an ancient Indian cemetery that predates the Roman conquest of England? Have you ever found a 10,000 year old Indian tool? Have you ever planted a tree among millions of other trees to find ancient relics and chiseled amethysts left by the ancient peoples who inhabited Talbot County? Talbot County has a lot to offer. Please experience it.

Part of my family, The Creek Indians, have been here, or near here, since time began and part of my family arrived here in the 1700s- Pleasant Hill-Owens Island on the Flint. We have an humble and ancestral devotion to this wonderful county and its fine people, a devotion that is like our air---it is part of our every breath. It is who we are. Our identities are inseparable from the land.

We have many species of rare and endangered plants, and as a botanical and wildlife conservator, I am proud that the county has some of the original precolumbian flora and fauna preserved, in the glory God bestowed upon this ancient land. Talbot County's virgin ecosystems --- perhaps this is key to Columbusites' understanding of our land and people and our single minded devotion to this county.

Old Talbottonians, love this county and we will not allow anyone to dismantle the Talbot County Government.

Thank You for reading this.

Sincerely,

Deborah Owens

This message makes it sound like there are TWO groups of "Old Talbottonians" - one going back a couple of centuries, the other preferring to start history at around 1965.

This e-mail made some interesting accusations about the C.C.R.G., which called for some answers. So Thursday night, we talked with the group's Secretary-Treasurer. Susan Horton didn't mention Lester Maddox - but told me her husband is the Mayor of Geneva. So maybe there's an outside chance to gain business from Switzerland.

Susan Horton denied putting on "space gear" at Talbot County Commission meetings. But she does videotape the meetings, and takes notes which are posted on the C.C.R.G. web site. If any group member wore a funny-looking outfit on camera, it probably would be posted on YouTube by now.

Susan Horton also denied her group points highly-sensitive microphones toward the doors of executive sessions in Talbot County. She says during those private sessions, the camera is turned off and the microphone unplugged. She'll never get hired by "Dateline NBC" with that sort of behavior.

Susan Horton told me the C.C.R.G. started about two years ago to keep watch on how Talbot County tax money is spent. The group wants to make sure tens of thousands of dollars isn't wasted. Is this why it took so long to get that run-down recreation center repaired?

So do the Concerned Citizens for Responsible Government want to throw out all the elected officials of Talbot County? Susan Horton told me that's NOT true. But if they find out who called the group by another name, I imagine everything might change....

The C.C.R.G. will have its next meeting Saturday afternoon in Box Springs. Other commitments will prevent me from attending, but the group's web site indicates anyone is welcome. The group might even let you show up with earphones -- as long as your iPod isn't turned up too loud.

(I've always been fascinated by the fact that a Talbot County town is named Box Springs. If someone showed up there with a waterbed, would he be shunned?)

But let's return to the e-mail which prompted all this. All sorts of nonprofit groups look for ways to make money. Some hold bake sales. Some sell T-shirts. And part of me wishes other groups sold cookies, during the Girl Scouts' off-season.

Lest anyone be confused: Gray Conger is the District Attorney of more than Muscogee County. His district includes Talbot and Harris Counties, along with a couple more. But Talbot County voters DO have some clout -- as they helped chase Rep. Danae Roberts out of Columbus a few years ago.

If Talbot County has "no local media/newspaper," then what is this weekly thing called the Talbotton New Era? Is it disqualified, because the printing press is in downtown Columbus or something?

Admittedly, I've only driven through Talbot County once - and I was hurrying home from a Power Frisbee commitment last summer when I did. No, I did NOT stop to take deep breaths around trees. More noticeable to me were all the protest signs against sludge.

(And oh yes, I think I have been four miles from a home site - and it scared me when I was young. My family practically ran out of gas, between small towns in southeast Colorado.)

It's nice to know Talbot County residents have preserved some of the scenery and environment of long ago -- like that "pre-Columbian flora and fauna." As a Kansas graduate, it's sad to know people from Columbia, Missouri and Big Bad Mizzou have spoiled other places....

OUR TEXT FOR TODAY: This new occasional feature will focus on unusual text messages. After posting Thursday's entry around midnight, we went to an online game room where someone wrote, "Happy v-d, everyone."

Which brought this reply: "Hey now - I don't have that sort of thing."

Now let's send some Instant Messages of our own, to end the week....

+ To the driver of a Columbus city truck with license tag GV1558A: Is that legal - loading seven people in the open back of your truck? Wouldn't I get pulled over for a ticket, if I had even one person back there?

+ To whomever left a mock bomb at the Smiths Station Post Office: Next time, enter something like that in the high school science fair - or offer it to the Cartoon Network.

+ To the ConAgra plant in Sylvester: Isn't it ironic? You make all that Peter Pan peanut butter - and now a batch of it with salmonella gets the hook.

+ To Regal Jewelers on Broadway: I saw your ad with Valentine's Day offers on TV - on Thursday. They must be for the REAL procrastinators.

+ To the Atlanta Hawks: I'm glad you finally have a player in the N.B.A. All-Star Game, for the first time in five years. But I couldn't help thinking of you when I heard a sermon series on religious radio - called "Hand Me Another Brick."

COMING THIS WEEKEND: Our mock sportscasters get a "bye week".... but we'll have something related to the Daytona 500....

This blog had more than 28,000 visits in 2006, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

15 FEB 07: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

Wednesday was a day with several names. Most people referred to it as Valentine's Day. A Ledger-Enquirer columnist had a good point the other day, when he called it "Obligation Day." And you know what it was for single guys like me - another college basketball night on radio.

It was a day many associate with love - so that made the timing of this e-mail interesting:

Who is this guy that wrote the "Letter to the Editor" that was basically a threat to Columbus if the Kenny Walker case is not settled? How can he call himself "Brother Love?"

This apparently was NOT a recent letter to the Ledger-Enquirer, as I couldn't find it on the newspaper's web site over the last seven days. Once some people find Love, they simply can't get it out of their minds....

A search of the Ledger-Enquirer's archives found a letter from last June, which was signed by Brother Love and other people. He's listed among the writers as "Concerned Citizen Activist, OAAU." I didn't know the Amateur Athletic Union had to call itself "original" these days.

I haven't anyone make a "threat" to the city of Columbus in the Kenneth Walker case since the 2005 Riverfest boycott, which was called off at the last minute. If Brother Love is making a threat of some sort, perhaps he's being like some parents - the ones who say they only spank you because they love you.

To be honest, I was tempted to write something on this matter of "love" for Wednesday's blog entry. I've noticed that four-letter word tends to have a lot of definitions. Take the sports world - which was put well by a sign I saw in a high school years ago: "Never date a tennis player. To them, love means nothing."

For some people on Wednesday, love meant buying something special -- or something unusual. I was in a Walgreens store, and saw a man buying a giant stuffed animal. If that was for his wife, either he was hiding something nice deep inside it - or he was making up for losing a lot of money at the Greater Columbus Fair last fall.

One employee at Walgreens suggested a customer purchase a balloon floating above the checkout lane. It showed a scene from the comic strip "Peanuts," of Snoopy kissing Lucy. That might work if your sweetheart works at the Humane Society....

For the Russell County Child Advocacy Center, love means something other than abuse. WRBL showed the agency selling shirts at Phenix City Central High School Wednesday which say, "Love shouldn't hurt." The staff is concerned about battered children -- but try using that phrase around any of the runners-up on "The Bachelor."

For students at St. Luke School downtown, love may mean dancing. I saw several young girls there Wednesday afternoon, wearing 1950's-style "poodle skirts" as if they were holding a sock hop. But strangely, I didn't see any boys with greasy hair....

So to borrow the classic question of David Frost, what is MY definition of love? That's become a bit more difficult for me in the last couple of years. It's not because of anyone special I've met. It's because of what "experts" have been telling me - and I don't mean the men at Gold and Silver Trading Center.

The church congregation I attend tends to say the love of God is defined by keeping the Ten Commandments. OK, so I'm not killing anybody and I'm not committing adultery. So if I don't hold a gun in front of women or steal their purses, why haven't I become a babe magnet?

(In fact, my church denomination is against Valentine's Day. That's because it's a pagan day in origin and not Bible-based. So the message comes across that God is love, but even He takes a day off from it.)

People sometimes ask me if I love things - anything from pro football to chocolate chip cookies. I'm not comfortable saying I "love" such things. Others might consider that an unhealthy addiction, and try to put me in a 12-step program.

I'd prefer to save "love" for people, not things -- but I have to be careful about that as a single guy. Look too longingly on the wrong woman at my age, and her teenage son may walk up and slap me in the face.

So I'm looking for the right time and place, to show love for the right person - but I'm admittedly not sure where that person is, or exactly what I'd do if I found her. It was only fitting that I spent the bulk of Wednesday finishing my federal tax return. I resist Valentine's Day red, by trying to find as much "green" in a refund check as possible.

Now that my confessional time is over, let's move on to other items from Wednesday:

+ AFLAC announced it will allow stockholders to vote on the compensation of company executives, starting in 2009. BUT the vote will be non-binding - so no one in the Amos family is likely to eat the duck's bread crumbs for awhile.

+ Columbus South Inc. planted a row of trees on Fort Benning Road. Well, actually prison inmates did some of the planting - and if those inmates can be trained properly, perhaps they can tear down some abandoned businesses as well.

+ Protesters held signs outside a circus performance at the Columbus Civic Center. The group opposed how the Barnes and Bailey Circus supposedly treats animals. I'm surprised there wasn't a second protest -- by the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus, complaining about its name getting ripped off.

(A spokesman for the Barnes and Bailey Circus suggested the protesters were ignorant, and dared to say they "look like idiots." So who had the bright idea of putting little outfits on the monkeys?)

+ The manager of The Sports Page bar in Americus was charged with hosting recent drug-infested teenage parties. Bill Brown officially is accused of "keeping a disorderly house." If you saw his mug shot on TV, you'd know the disorderliness starts from his hairdo and expands from there.

+ A U.S. Agriculture Department official spoke to the Georgia Legislature about alternative energy ideas. At one point he declared: "Georgia is one big photocell." [True/GPB] This is different from some civil rights leaders, who consider the state one big prison cell.

+ The Mayor of Birmingham barred the A&E cable channel from taping a "reality series," following police detectives in murder investigations. Sadly, it can't be because there's nothing to tape....

+ Georgia was nearly embarrassed in men's college basketball, but rallied to beat Kennesaw State 75-66. Kennesaw led 60-54 with six minutes left - and then I guess Bulldog coach Dennis Felton called Columbus State's Hubert Greene for advice.

+ Former Phenix City Central player Clarence Sanders hit a last-second jump shot, as Mississippi edged Louisiana State 71-70. L.S.U. has now lost seven out of eight games - enough to make their star Glenn "Big Baby" Davis cry like one, and Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis want nothing to do with him.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

14 FEB 07: TOO WET FOR A FISH?

Tuesday started with sunshine in Columbus. Then it rained at noon. Then it was almost clear, for a late-afternoon run. Then a second line of storms came in during the evening. Compared with the Midwest, that's the definition of a "wintry mix" I really like....

But was the midday rain too much for Golden Park to handle? The Columbus Catfish might say yes. The team's management told Columbus Council Tuesday much more work needs to be done on the baseball field's drainage. If it doesn't happen, the Catfish may hold one of those "Faith Nights" and have everyone pray for a drought.

We told you last fall about the renovation work around the center field wall at Golden Park [26 Oct 06]. A good bit of digging was done in the deep outfield and on the warning track. But Catfish General Manager Ken Clary says it's not good enough -- so if you want to make some pre-season donations to the "Fan Club," bring the fans to South Commons.

Ken Clary implied the outfield at Golden Park actually might be unsafe. He said major league baseball teams invest millions of dollars in young talent, and those players should NOT be put at risk on wet fields. Of course not -- that risk should be left in the hands of wild fastball pitchers.

And Ken Clary's complaint doesn't stop with the outfield grass. He wants the Golden Park outfield walls to have padding, so players don't get hurt chasing fly balls. Of course, this would open the door for a fine advertising opportunity - by using pads from The Mattress Factory.

In response, Columbus City Manager Isaiah Hugley noted the city not only made drainage improvements at Golden Park, but spent $89,000 to repair the storm-damaged center field fence. Considering part of the work was done by prison labor, the cost of new bricks must be higher than I realized.

The City Manager added Columbus's current contract with the Catfish does NOT say anything about the city putting padding on the Golden Park walls. Besides, the new push for internal audits at the Government Center should keep all "padding" to a minimum.

This fuss apparently was stirred up by the city demanding $32,000 in back rent from the Catfish. The team paid up Tuesday, to avoid being evicted - which must have disappointed some waiting players from the Northern Little League.

The concern by the Catfish is understandable, because Golden Park has had drainage problems for years. Summer thunderstorms have left the outfield covered with water, and unplayable. Yet the city never has taken advantage of this, by inviting quail hunters to use the park during winter.

But with a new season approaching, I'm not sure "playing hardball" is the right approach for the Catfish. This team needs fans in the worst way - especially since it's now the fourth most popular baseball team in town. It's a wonder the Northern Little League and Columbus High School haven't joined Columbus State University with radio deals.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message from a reader combines two recent topics....

Richard,

Did you really expect the men behind the Spectrum on Victory Dr to admit to you they were in this country illegally? [11 Feb] That's sort of like asking men in prison if they are guilty of committing a crime.

And for several years now it has been difficult to go into Walgreens in Phenix City without being approached by a beggar. [8 Feb] That's probably why the employees there don't like the beggars - because it's bad for business. That reminds me of a clerk in a gas station on 4th Ave in Columbus. She said they have to regularly call the police on beggars because their paying customers complain about being bothered by them. I'm surprised he didn't ask you to pay his motel bill also. There are several motels on the 280 Bypass that the "homeless" frequent. I bet this beggar didn't offer to help you with any work - like washing your car, etc. in return for the food you provided him.

It would be interesting to hand these beggars cards with the names and addresses of the social service agencies that provide free meals. Do you think that would stop their begging? I rather doubt it.

Pessimisstic Reader

Keep in mind, P.R., I was challenged by an e-mailer to visit that Spectrum store. If I had simply stood around with a clipboard, or watched from my car with binoculars, I would have looked even more like an undercover agent.

You never know what someone will say, when you walk up to them and ask some questions. Some of the immigrant workers might have come out and said so. But admittedly, it probably would be as rare as one of those new sex offenders in Harris County admitting they wanted (ahem) a bed for the night.

The beggar I met at the Phenix City Walgreens last week actually was not the first. A few weeks ago, a woman came up to me needing a couple of dollars to pay for her prescription. I invited her to walk in with me, so we could pool our money at the pharmacy. She said no, and went back to a car to wait for someone else. Is there a medicine for treating pathological liars?

No, the Phenix City beggar did NOT offer to do any work for me. And if he had, I would have turned him down. At the risk of getting too religious, I practice assistance based on "grace" as opposed to "works." After all, the Bible's "Good Samaritan" didn't tell the beaten man to wash his car or cut his grass.

By the way, WRBL reported a Catholic charity went before Columbus Council Tuesday with a suggestion about helping homeless people. "Our Lady of Rose Hill" recommended the city house them in surplus government buildings. That old stockade downtown just might inspire some of them to become historians.

We received one other e-mail about our morning with the immigrant workers -- a long essay about immigration by Charlie Daniels. Isn't it interesting that conservatives like to quote entertainers who agree with their views, while liberal entertainers with opposite views are dismissed as uneducated people who should "shut up and sing?"

But we welcome all of your views - and maybe some other Tuesday headlines will inspire more:

+ Ed DuBose of the Georgia NAACP had a "doubleheader day." He started at Columbus Council, asking again for a new investigation of the Kenneth Walker case. If new Councilor Jerry Barnes couldn't sneak that language into the settlement with Walker's fellow passengers, DuBose might want to try again early in 2009.

+ Then Ed DuBose went to Butler, and asked the Taylor County Commission to endorse a new federal investigation of a 1946 shooting. But an African-American Commissioner upset DuBose's group, when she asked relatives of victim Maceo Snipes if they were NAACP members. Can't the pressure to "make a donation" work both ways?

+ The South Korean government announced a $500,000 donation to the National Infantry Museum. Does this mean there will be an "exile room" for executives from Hyundai and Kia?

+ WXTX "News at Ten" presented a special report on "How to be a Rock Star." Ticket sales for the Blue Man Group "How to be a Megastar" show in March may come to a screeching halt today.

+ Georgia Tech topped Florida State 63-57, for its first win on the road in men's basketball in two years. Well, maybe we should make that SECOND win - because Sunday's game at the Georgia Dome was a few miles off-campus.

+ Instant Message to Jordan High School basketball player Taneshia Gonzalez: I think you've made history this season - as a Red Jacket player with red hair to match. You normally only see that color coordination among the students in the stands.

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Monday, February 12, 2007

for 13 FEB 07: TRACK 0.1

Ground was broken Monday for a different sort of improvement at Allen Elementary School. It's adding a walking track - and is this ever going to tempt students! Teachers will be scolding them over and over NOT to run on it.

The Allen Elementary School track will be small, at one-tenth of a mile around. But the purpose is big: to get children outside and exercising. The faculty could take this an extra step, of course -- but apparently grownups actually will build the track.

Faculty members at Allen Elementary say the walking track is needed, because studies show about one-third of U.S. grade-school children are obese. And then some people wonder why "low-rider' slacks are so popular?! They're hand-me-downs, which simply don't fit right anymore.

But another notable word was brought up at the groundbreaking ceremony - a "safe place" to exercise. Many Muscogee County Schools have sidewalks outside them. Is it unsafe for children to walk or run back and forth on.... oh yeah, I forgot. A mother who dresses like a teenage boy might take someone.

Several Columbus parks have walking tracks or trails, from Lakebottom to Britt David. But perhaps those aren't considered "safe places" for children -- maybe because of adults walking unleashed dogs.

After watching the TV newscasts Monday night, one thing seemed missing to me. While Allen Elementary School has open green space for a walking track, I didn't see a playground. I mean an old-fashioned playground, with swings and what we used to call a "jungle gym." It's probably more proper to call them "rain forest gyms" now....

Grade-school playgrounds used to be great places for children to exercise. Well, SOME of them exercised. A few of us sometimes preferred to sit and chat at the wall - only to have a teacher blow his whistle and order everyone to play "a game provided by the school." I'm still waiting for the International Tetherball Tour.

My old grade school playground had basketball, tetherball, hopstotch and "foursquare." That's a game with four players, which was sort of like playing tennis with your hands. When three people who didn't like you occupied the other squares, you could almost see the roots of gang formation.

Even if Allen Elementary School had a playground, there wouldn't be much time to exercise there. Some teachers say there's only 30 minutes a day for outside activity, with NO physical education. There are federal testing standards to meet, you know - and I don't mean the old President's Council on Physical
Fitness.

Maybe the answer here is to find ways to combine teaching with outside exercise. For younger grades, how about "tag-team reading aloud" - with a new student picking up the story every lap?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our morning with immigrant workers has brought several responses since Sunday. This one comes from the business sector:

Hmm..I see you picked a Day Of Chill and Rain to View the Illegals At the Spectrum on Victory Dr.- Should have picked a Clear day to view the the More then 20 That hang out in back .(Construction comes to a stand still because of Rain)

Those that you Interviewed , did you see a Social Security Card , Visa, Green Card?

Did you check them out on the Social Security/Govt. Site that Employers are to use to see if they are fraudulent or not?

Maybe 2 out of every 6 might legally be here.. I know this because I have been in Construction for over 25 years in Columbus Ga. I know MANY that break the law & work Illegal Labor...more do then don't!

What we need here is Local Construction Folks out of work and out of Business because of this Mess to gather at the steps of the Columbus Govt. Center .. then all would see that it is NOT really about "They do the work we don't want to do"!

I Commend you for at least trying to see the Problem.

And.. No I will not sign My name..

Still trying to make a Living

I went out last Friday morning because it was the first convenient day to go, after the "e-mail challenge" came. Some people can be impatient, you know - like they're driving on Whittlesey Boulevard, and actually have to wait on a stop light.

Admittedly, I did NOT ask any of the people I met for proof of their citizenship or identity. That's because I normally don't ask for it from anybody else. Many people would think I'm trying to jot down their drivers license numbers, to steal their identities.

(Besides, my Pastor at church often recalls the Nazi years when German police would demand "your papers, please." He makes it sound like that was evil, sinister and wrong. Nowadays, it sounds a bit like the Minuteman Project.)

If there's a federal web site for checking on fraudulent workers, I don't know what it is -- and this e-mail did not provide it. Critics might say a database like that risks creating a government monster -- as opposed to the other Monster, which actually wants people to find work.

Because of an early deadline, we'll have to get to other immigration e-mails another day. Let's quickly consider other Monday headlines:

+ As your blog first reported last week, 12 suspects in the "To Catch a Predator" sting pleaded guilty in Harris County Court. The lawyer for one suspect dared to claim his client was "sightseeing" around Georgia, and happened to stop at the sting house in Fortson. Next time, only stop at the places with historic markers.

(The lawyer for another suspect told the court his client tries to meet women online because he has a "stuttering problem." Four years in prison could go a long way toward curing that - if the wrong prisoners get to work on his mouth.)

+ The Georgia Legislature marked "Georgia Day," the anniversary of the state's founding. A lawmaker recalled back in 1733, Georgia's first settlers did NOT allow "liquor dealers and lawyers." [True/GPB] In contrast, today we have Seth Harp....

+ Rep. Phil Gingrey stunned Georgia lawmakers, by appearing at the state Capitol without a moustache. This seems like a strange way to lobby for federal PeachCare money.

+ Former President Jimmy Carter won a Grammy Award for the "Best Spoken Word Album." I'm a bit surprised he didn't have to share this with another Georgia recording artist -- Ludacris.

+ Instant Message to Elijah Johnson of Johnson's Camera Repair: Good for you - making the front page of Monday's Ledger-Enquirer! I remember well the years we attended church together. And I'll never forget the loud arguments about doctrine, during Bible studies with one of your sons. Journalists like me love fires like that....

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

for 12 FEB 07: OUR SURPRISE PARTY

The last several days have brought several surprises for me. Maybe they'll surprise you; maybe they won't. Let's find out....

1. SO SMALL, THEY'RE MISSING. I walked into a Krystal restaurant this weekend, and was baffled by the menu board. The individual Krystal and Cheese Krystal aren't listed anymore. Has this chain decided they're too embarrassingly small, in a world of Double Texas Whoppers?

The menu board at the Phenix City Krystal is like so many in the fast-food business these days -- dominated by large pictures of combo items. Someone told me restaurants went to the large pictures because more and more customers are illiterate. But in this case, there does NOT seem to be a policy of "No Sandwich Left Behind."

The big board at the Phenix City Krystal offered a sackful of 16 little Krystals on one picture, but nothing listed separately for buying one or two. Yet there WAS a separate listing for the new "Saucy Chix" - only fitting, with Victory Drive right down the 280 Bypass.

I asked the attendant behind the counter if Krystal still sold Krystals one by one. First I was told I could have eight of them -- but I didn't want eight. I only wanted one or two to go with my large-sized "B.A. Burger." To me, not buying Krystals at a Krystal is like going to Dunkin Donuts simply for coffee.

It took two attendants to settle it, but finally I was told I could go "off the board" and order individual Krystals. "It doesn't have anything," one woman said of the big board. I disagreed with that - while considering without all those pictures, the Krystal menu approach might not be far from The Garlic Clove.

If you encounter this sort of thing at your neighborhood Krystal: the basic Krystal costs 63 cents. A Cheese Krystal costs 78 cents. And making the "Krystal Lovers Hall of Fame" may be more difficult than ever.

2. BEST ON "THE BRAD." A mix of gift cards made my weekend grocery trip unusual, but also very revealing. I split the shopping between two stores on Bradley Park Drive - which you may remember was the cool place to shop in Columbus before that giant "Crossing" came along, and with nowhere near the traffic.

The big surprise here was that Target tended to have lower grocery prices than Publix. A half-gallon of fresh orange juice actually cost 20 cents less. If only I hadn't shopped at Target first, and rejected its price as too high....

Target's "Market Pantry" store brand was lower in price than Publix brands, for things such as chocolate chip cookies and tortilla chips. The low Target brand price even included "blue corn" tortilla chips, which I hadn't bought in years. No, they do NOT have a blueberry flavor to them.

The food selection at Target admittedly is much smaller - but by shopping with care, you can beat Publix on several items by at least 20 cents. I told the checkout woman they can turn their store into a "Super-Target" with a full grocery section anytime they wish. Right now, you're distracted by the high-definition TV's - and can't find any close-up oranges.

3. HURTSBORO HIATUS? We have received NO e-mails from Hurtsboro in the last week. Does this mean Constable Robert Schweiger is still resting, after last week's arraignment heating?

But we still have a "Hurtsboro Monday" update, thanks to a U.P.S. delivery which finally came from the Constable. Robert Schweiger has conducted a petition drive in recent months, asking Alabama Governor Bob Riley to intervene to stop "ANARCHY." In Hurtsboro, two shootings are anarchy. In Baghdad, it would be declared a tremendous victory.

Copies of the petitions sent to your blog show more than 200 names on them - and Hurtsboro has only about 600 residents. I don't know how many of the names are legitimate, but a few of them are illegible. And it may not help that a couple of names are noted as "Dear Hunter." [True!]

Constable Robert Schweiger attached a letter with the petitions, addressed to Governor Bob Riley. The letter is dated November 29. If the Governor hasn't intervened by now - well, the legislature doesn't convene until March. So maybe this is Alabama's version of the U.S. versus Iran.

4. LIKED AT LAST. Perhaps the most stunning surprise of all occurred at the weekend church service. For the first time in a long while, I took home-baked brownies for the snack table - and for the first time ever, almost all of them were eaten! Sometimes it pays NOT to put your name on the plastic box.

I've mentioned occasionally here how I've baked brownies for the church snack table or potluck dinner, only to find them left uneaten - and a couple of times even left forgotten in the kitchen. I dismissed those latter cases as simply being like the military reserves.

In recent weeks I took cans of potato chips to the church snack table, and they went quickly. But then my church denomination posted an online report about how pesticides used on potato farms are increasing cancer cases in nearby towns. So suddenly I felt guilty - deciding once you pop, the deaths don't stop.

So I changed course this weekend, and dared to bake brownies again. Even though Oreo cookies and two kinds of cake were on the snack table, almost all the brownies were gone by the end of the afternoon. But I should add an important disclaimer - I didn't check the trash can to see if anyone dumped them.

You may wonder why ALMOST all the brownies were taken -- 11 out of the 12 I took. The Presiding Elder has preached during services that if one item of food is left on a plate, no one is supposed to take it. I think he bases this on the "gleanings" principle of the Bible. But I call it the "one to go" rule, basing it on NASCAR restarts.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's a response to our Sunday LaughLine Flashback....

I heard a call in on a national radio talk show make the following suggestion:

The baby's father was Anna son, Daniel..That is why he is dead and why Anna died from an overdose.They were both suicide and Stern knows this..He married Anna so he would not have to testify against her..If you ever saw her actions with her son on her real life TV show this might not be far fetched..I certainly don't want to believe this..Just another guess thrown out there...yuk

Oh please - don't connect me with any wild rumors about the death of Anna Nicole Smith. We've already had the "J. Howard Marshall sperm" theory debunked as a hoax. And to make the record clear: I have never been farther south in Florida than suburban Orlando. I haven't even changed planes in Miami....

(I'll say one thing for Anna Nicole Smith -- her death is making the handling of James Brown's body look like a simple graveside service.)

Now let's catch up on some other news you may have missed from the weekend:

+ Columbus had two fires at apartment complexes in three days. The Luverne Apartments on Cusseta Road were damaged by fire for the second time in three months - and this time, no one was on hand to accuse the police of showing up with tear gas.

+ Elite Tax Service on Manchester Expressway shut down, as employee Valerie Renfroe was cited for 18 misdemeanor counts in Russell County. If there's any justice, her prison number may have a "1040" in it somewhere.

+ The Muscogee County School District held its annual "Teacher Recruitment Fair." One teacher traveled from Colorado for an interview -- which strikes me as amazing, since that means every district in at least five states along the way must be full.

+ Country singer Toby Keith performed in concert at the Columbus Civic Center Friday night, followed by the Soweto Gospel Choir at the RiverCenter on Saturday night. When these concerts are put together on the same program, we at last will achieve One Columbus.

+ Auburn lawmaker Mike Hubbard was named Chair of the Alabama Republican Party. Hubbard is President of the "Auburn Network" sports broadcasts - so if the Tigers always seem to be moving "from left to right" during games from now on, you'll know why.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths stretched their winning streak to nine games in a row. But Saturday's 3-2 win over Fayetteville was marred by a fight only four seconds into the game. It usually takes modern professional wrestlers several minutes of talking, before they come to blows.

COMING SOON: The Talbot talk may not be over yet....

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11 FEB 07: WORKING IN THE BACK

Sometimes we receive good suggestions for this blog - and sometimes we receive outright challenges. Take this e-mail from the other day:

Why do you not write an article in the Blog about the Illegal Aliens the Builders & Contractors are using to Build the Growth In Columbus...They are BREAKing the law, They need held accountable, Fines and exposure need placed!

You could even expose some of the places the Builders/Contractors pick up Illegals at.. Like Behind the Spectrum at Plateau dr. off Victory Drive...(Spectrum sits in front of The trailer park) Go early one morning during the week, just at break of dawn up to 9:00am and view for yourself.. very interesting it is!

How Laws are being broken and how So Many Legal Local Construction Folks are out of work because of this... do you turn you're head also,is this a joke to be made in your Blog??

People need to write, Call, Fax to D.C. and State Representatives.

Major,Major problem In Columbus Ga.

G. Waters

We wouldn't normally mention this -- but we can see right away one reason why Mr./Ms. Waters is concerned. So many illegal immigrants simply don't want to learn a proper use of the English language.

This blog examined Columbus construction and immigration last August [20-23 Aug 06]. We found the Columbus Home Builders Association has given its members guidance on staying within immigration law, with its workers and subcontractors. The only big crackdown we've heard about since then occurred at Fort Benning - so how much should the Justice Department fine the Army?

But since Mr./Ms. Waters suggested it, I got up early Friday morning and drove to the Spectrum at Victory Drive and Plateau Drive. One of the morning employees admitted to me immigrants often gather behind the store and wait for work. And with "no parking" signs in the back, they don't have to worry about being run over.

I parked my car next door at a closed loan office about 7:00 a.m., and saw the first three people show up behind Spectrum within minutes. They seemed to emerge from a mobile home park behind the back fence - and unlike some people outside Phenix City drug stores, not one of them asked me for a handout.

A man from Guatemala was in the first group of three workers. I knew enough Spanish to ask several questions, and learned he's been in the U.S. four years. But when I asked, "¿Legal o illegal?" the answer was lengthy and a bit hard for me to understand. This was where I wished Univision had bought TV-16, so I could have more advanced Spanish lessons.

The Guatemalan was joined before sunrise by a man who was picked up quickly by someone. I tried to snap a picture of the license plate, but it didn't turn out legible and I didn't write it down. Besides, what if the man was getting a ride to Columbus Technical College to take classes?

The third member of the early group was a native of Mexico. He told me he's been in the U.S. two years - legally. That's one thing I've noticed in the immigration debate: some people see a Hispanic-looking person and immediately conclude he or she MUST be an illegal immigrant. They could be from Puerto Rico - which still is a U.S. commonwealth.

The man from Mexico told me he takes whatever job he's offered - and is what I called a "Jack of all trades." No, I don't think he's really a Monterrey Jack....

The early group told me about ten to 20 people show up behind the Spectrum on Victory Drive six mornings a week, looking for work. They told me even U.S. natives show up there. So there you go -- some businesses might really be equal opportunity employers.

A pair of "workers for hire" came out from behind the Spectrum back fence shortly after sunrise. Their arrival brought another interesting surprise - because one of them revealed he actually could speak fairly good English.

That young man was looking for landscaping work. He says it's sometimes 11:00 a.m. before someone comes by to give him a job - but he says he's "paid cash" at the end of each work day. Before you call this an immigration dodge, consider this: do you deduct Social Security and Medicare, when a teenager in your neighborhood cuts your grass?

"It's raining, so there might not be work today," the young man admitted. It truly was a chilly Friday morning, with sporadic light rain and a temperature around 40 degrees. Yet people were outside, ready for work - and the person who challenged me to join them might want to consider sending a donation for cold medicine.

That young man from Mexico had been in the U.S. about six months. He talked about obtaining a visa, so he can work longer. But I know from personal experience that Visas don't always work around.... oh, I'm sorry. Enough about debit cards at Publix....

A third group of three immigrants from Mexico showed up behind Spectrum a bit later. On this chilly morning, they went inside Spectrum to buy and heat cups of chicken noodle "Instant Lunch." So at least the store is getting some business from these potential workers - even if it seems to lack in microwave oatmeal.

At 8:15 a.m. the rain came down a bit harder. Four of the seven remaining workers for hire walked under Spectrum overhangs to stay dry. The other three crowded under the open lid of a dumpster, near the back fence -- the dumpster where they threw their empty cups of Instant Lunch. If only they could read the dumpster sign which says "cardboard...."

Perhaps the young man who spoke some English was right. Perhaps no one would need these workers on a cold, rainy day. I was prepared to wait for a business truck to show up, but I decided to drive home at that point. I'd proven two things: that the e-mailer was right about where immigrant workers gather. And I was more of a weather wimp than they were.

As I think about what I saw, several conclusions come to mind. These seven or so immigrant workers aren't really that different from the "day laborers" who have gathered for years near the House of Mercy, or more recently on Cusseta Road -- people who might be homeless, and of any nationality. And if that small group on Victory Drive is "building Columbus," we need a lot more of them.

So to the e-mailer, I'd conclude we ARE open to jokes about immigration in Columbus. If you have some to send, I'll gladly Peru them -- uh, peruse them.

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: The late Anna Nicole Smith came up several times during the years when we wrote LaughLine for a national audience. Here's a sample of what we wrote about her....

2 Aug 02: Anne Nicole Smith comes to prime-time television this weekend, in a new "reality" series. Apparently we'll finally see how much of her is real, and how much is padded....

"E - Entertainment Television" has shamelessly borrowed from The Osbournes, for "The Anna Nicole Show." Cameras follow Anna Nicole Smith's every move day after day -- so you might be tempted to call it "Big Sister."

We've already been told one vital detail of "The Anna Nicole Show." At one point she declares: "I haven't had SEX in two years." [True/AP] Smith's photo must be posted at the front desk of every senior center in Los Angeles.

(Whaddya think - will "The Anna Nicole Show" be sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons?)

Anna Nicole Smith's regular life may not be exciting enough for "E." We've read stories of the production staff filling her refrigerator with an energy drink, and encouraging Smith to get a sexy tattoo. It's hard to have a "sit-com" when the star does little more than sit.

The "E" channel is giving Anna Nicole Smith's show lots of publicity. In fact, the network's web site.... has an online game connected to the show - called the "Treasure Chest" game. Why do we suspect the emphasis is supposed to be on the "chest" part?

8 Aug 02: "Entertainment Tonight" showed a clip of this weekend's "Anna Nicole Show," with Anna Nicole Smith dressed as Little Bo-Peep. When we saw this tape, the first question was obvious. Little?!?!

16 Aug 02: Sunday night's episode of "The Anna Nicole Show" will show Anna Nicole Smith in a pizza-eating contest. And you thought this program was cheesy enough already....

21 Aug 02: A company in suburban Chicago has developed "Life Gems." Your loved one is cremated - then the carbon from the ashes is turned into a diamond. We suspect there's already an order waiting from Anna Nicole Smith....

22 Aug 02: A T-V movie already is in the works about the Enron scandal. It'll be called "The Crooked E".... Either this refers to the Enron corporate logo - or a cable channel owes Anna Nicole Smith a lot of money.

30 Aug 02: Sunday night's edition of "The Anna Nicole Show" finds Anna Nicole Smith in Las Vegas, with male strippers. This is one time when the strippers might provide more wholesome entertainment....

COMING MONDAY: What Target, Krystal and a box of brownies have in common.... plus it's a Hurtsboro Monday, too....

Today's entry was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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Friday, February 09, 2007

for 10 FEB 07: PURELY VICTORIOUS

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts on occasion, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

"If you want to pray with the angels, you'd better be 100-percent pure." So said a visitor to Columbus this past week - and no, he was NOT talking about the Angels who play baseball in Anaheim.

We're returning today to the Monday night lecture given at Columbus State University by Professor Shalom Paul, from Jerusalem's Hebrew University. He's a "Bible scholar," and he sometimes showed it by rattling off Scripture references from memory. He didn't even help the audience, by showing them on one of those modern overhead screens.

Have you ever dreamed of joining with the angels in prayer, as Shalom Paul mentioned? The ancient Essenes did - and they were so concerned about purity that they would bathe before their meals [6 Feb]. Nowadays, many moms and dads have trouble merely getting children to wash their hands.

But did you know not all angels are pure - that some actually sinned? Strange as it sounds, that's what the Bible says. No, they are NOT all right angels....

The New Testament apostle Peter says some angels sinned. A few pages over, Jude says they "did not keep their positions of authority." In King James Bible language, these angels had the "first estate." Sad to say, the lovers of Anna Nicole Smith soon will start fighting over a second or third one.

The angels who sinned apparently had high-ranking offices in heaven. Perhaps they were the equivalent of a Presidential cabinet, or even elected officials in our cities. So there - this sin scandal didn't start with the Mayor of San Francisco after all.

Many Christians believe the sin of the angels came from joining with an archangel named Lucifer long ago, in a revolt against God. The coup attempt did NOT succeed - perhaps because that play "Your Arm's Too Short to Box With God" hadn't come out yet.

Lucifer and the sinning angels were thrown out of God's heaven. Lucifer became Satan. The angels became his "demons." But contrary to what two local high schools suggest, there's NO Biblical evidence that they turned red or blue.

Those angels could have been pure, but they sinned. And what do you know - that makes them a lot like you and me. I can be pure, but too often I cave in to sin. I'm not even sure Ivory Soap still has a standard of "99 and 44-hundredths percent pure" anymore.

So since I'm not 100-percent pure, I need some cleaning up as well. And when it comes to sin, a physical tub bath simply won't do it. God might as well have written that country song by Sugarland - He's "looking for something more."

But the good news is that God provided us something more. In this case, it was Someone with more - a Son who lived a pure sinless life, then sacrificed that life. The apostle John wrote the Son's blood can purify us from all sins. For everything else, you might need "Spray and Wash."

So to rephrase what the professor said: if you want to pray with the angels, you'd better MAKE yourself 100-percent pure. That can start with a prayer, in fact - for God to purify you through His Son. Then God can help you walk a new course. And that course can lead to a dramatic finale, perhaps much like a British golf tournament....

COMING SUNDAY: Why some people stand outside a convenience store for hours at a time....

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9 FEB 07: TURN UP YOUR EARS

It's been a month since the number-one TV reporter in Talbot County left the area for South Carolina [7 Jan]. If Jade Hindmon is reading this, I'm sad to report we still have NOT been shown the inside of that renovated recreation center....

Even with Jade Hindmon's departure, there are other people who are trying to improve Talbot County. An e-mail the other day directed me to the web site of "Concerned Citizens for Responsible Government." Which leads you to wonder: if citizens wanted irresponsible government, would they really be concerned?

The Concerned Citizens for Responsible Government don't seem to update their web site that often. It's currently promoting a meeting on February 17 - but its list of recent "newspaper articles" includes letters to the Talbotton New Era from October 2005. And you wondered how slow Talbot County is....

But the C.C.R.G., to use the group's abbreviation, is not without some critics. I read one recent complaint that when the Talbot County Commission went into executive session, group members went to the door and tried to listen to the discussion. Someone really should be assigned the task of bringing playing cards, for times like this.

The complaint asked if it was legal for the C.C.R.G. to attempt to listen to closed-door meetings about personnel matters. Personally, I don't think there's a law against it - and if the Talbot County Commission finds it's talking too loudly, it can ask a high school student to play trumpet solos on the other side of the door.

(True confession: I stood at a closed door years ago as a radio reporter, and heard "private" details of a strike vote by the then-Kansas City Philharmonic. They made not only my newscast the next morning, but the newspaper. You'd think an orchestra would know when to be loud and when to be soft.)

If you really want to stay current on Talbot County topics, you should read the "community forum" section of the C.C.R.G. web site. It has lively message exchanges on everything from crime to farming. But from what I can tell, this year's cotton seeds have NOT been dug up by thieves.

We checked the C.C.R.G. Community Forum Thursday night. Some of the hot topics included....

+ Whether the Talbot County Sheriff should be replaced. Supporters of the sheriff say the crime rate currently is very low. Opponents argue the murder rate doubled last year - from one to two.

+ Building a "$20,000 website," to promote the county to potential businesses. Some people there apparently haven't heard of Myspace.

+ Moving some of the $107,000 budgeted for mowing grass, to fix county roads and bridges. This is a difficult choice - because what if the grass grows so tall that you can't see the road?

+ Whether Talbot County's workforce is a "family tree" of people related to elected officials. Maybe those officials are simply following the Columbus example of the Borens and the Hugleys.

BLOG UPDATE: I finally found out Thursday which team won the Super Bowl. Of all places, I learned Indianapolis won while watching the local Noon News -- as if a Colt should be my "Pet of the Week" or something.

But all I saw on the News at Noon was Indianapolis quarterback Peyton Manning wearing a "Super Bowl Champions" hat. So I still don't know the final score, or anything about what happened in last Sunday's game. For all I know, maybe Manning was injured during the game and replaced - and he STILL hasn't "won the big one."

Four days is the longest I've gone, without knowing which team won the Super Bowl. So if you really try, you can be ignorant about some significant things. But come to think of it, a lot of people can't name their local lawmakers -- and if you ignore the newspaper and TV news, that's pretty easy.

Let's put you "in the know" about some Thursday news headlines:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the federal government could seize the old Baker Middle School building, because it's not being used for education. That's because federal money built that school years ago - so the Columbus Fire Department had better take good care of those federal grant-funded treadmills.

+ Phenix City School Superintendent Larry Dichiara held an "education summit," and said the district needs two new schools because of overcrowding. It's sad that so many scared people are abandoning Russell County teachers like this....

+ The evening news reported Columbus is now down to 17 open public safety positions. Come to think of it, we haven't received an e-mail from "IsOurCitySafe" since Jim Wetherington became Mayor - so maybe that writer was told to get to work recruiting new officers.

+ Columbus Police released surveillance tape, of someone who has robbed the Video Warehouse on Wynnton Road four times in the last four months. If that's not bad enough, he probably hasn't paid a cent in return fees.

+ The manager of Elite Tax Service in Columbus was arrested, after customers accused her of filing false returns and overcharging them. When a TV news crew tried to talk with Valerie Renfroe, she drove to a hospital and checked into an emergency room. Perhaps this is a defense strategy - to prove she's not heartless.

+ Yamaha announced its piano factory in Thomaston will close at the end of March. Hopefully it will end on a fitting note (pun) - with a classical pianist coming to play Franz Liszt's "Six Consolations."

+ Columbus State Senator Seth Harp told GPB's "Lawmakers" about two new bills legalizing Sunday alcohol sales across Georgia. Harp said he accepts one change, which would bar sales on Sundays before 12:00 noon. I can't wait to see Columbus stores advertise in Phenix City: "Get your booze one hour earlier."

+ The Georgia House voted to allow some exceptions to the state restrictions on tinted car windows. For instance, they would be allowed for private investigators. So rap stars may replace their bodyguards with a more "pro-active" approach....

+ Troy Public Radio's "Community Focus" presented guests discussing Alabama Arbor Week. It's coming up February 20-24, but a guest admitted not much is planned on February 20 because of the President's Day holiday. Huh - you can't plant trees on a holiday? It's a day OFF, not a day on?

(Well, then again maybe this approach makes sense. The Arbor Week group may be concerned people will act like George Washington on President's Day, and chop down trees.)

+ Instant Message to city officials in Plains: Did you even know you had a gang problem, before that bust in Americus? Did you know "P.G." spray-painted on buildings stood for Plains, Georgia? Or did you think someone was secretly filming a movie about Jimmy Carter?

COMING THIS WEEKEND: Talk about a contrast! We comment on angels.... and have a LaughLine Flashback on the late Anna Nicole Smith....

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

8 FEB 07: BYPASSED BY MANY

The penny-pinching side of me tends to look for the lowest prices when I shop at most stores -- or even wait for sales before I buy. But a convenience store cashier once told me things eventually even out. I learned this lesson Wednesday, in a very strange way. It's amazing how the people with the least money can be the biggest spenders....

BLOGGER BEGGAR #1 (in 2007): I backed out of the parking space in the wrong direction. Instead of going north out of the Walgreens parking lot in Phenix City, I went south. A yellow arrow on the pavement pointed against me. A big car had to wait on me. And a man walking behind the big car wouldn't mind waiting on my error one bit.

"Do you have a dollar? Trying to get something to eat," said an older man wearing a Philadelphia 76'ers ball cap. He waved at me before he said this - and blocked my path out of the store. Either I would feed him, or Summit Hospital would.

I pointed to a nearby open parking space, parked the car a second time and got out. "Let's go in here, and I'll buy you something to eat," I said to the man. Just throwing money at problems doesn't work, you know -- and that's sort of how Democrats won the last Congressional election.

The 76'er seemed surprised that I pointed him toward Walgreens, as opposed to Church's Chicken next door. "They have food there?"

"Yes, they have food there. So we'll go inside and I'll buy you something to eat. That's good, isn't it?" I'd been practicing this sort of line for months, since some beggars seem to prefer the approach of a hilarious old Woody Allen movie - "Take the Money and Run."

"I'm not supposed to go in there," the 76'er said - but he kept walking toward the Walgreens door.

"Why can't you go in there?"

"Some folks in this store don't me in there. They think I'm stealing." By this time we were inside Walgreens - yet no employee screamed at the beggar, or pushed an alarm to interrupt the oldies music on the public address system.

The 76'er didn't know where the Walgreens food was, so I escorted him to a far wall. His first stop was the frozen food cases, but he passed by the frozen pizzas. Perhaps he realized he'd need help in heating it - and those heating pads in the medicine section simply aren't big enough.

"I want one of those cups of ice cream. Is that too much for you?" the 76'er asked. Actually, it IS too much for me. I never eat pints of Haagan-Dazs. They're too pricy, except for two groups of people. Wives of mayors who have late-night hunger pangs, like one I remembered in Kansas City years ago -- and beggars.

I didn't catch which flavor of ice cream the 76'er selected, but his desire for "something to eat" didn't stop there. "I'd like to get some cookies," he said next. Truly I could relate to this man - the classic single guy.

The cookies were on the other side of the Walgreens aisle from the ice cream. But the 76'er walked straight ahead to the end of the aisle, never looking for them. I told them to walk back the other direction -- and when he reached the right area, I said "stop." He stopped there, proving he can be a good obedient employee for somebody.

The cookie shelves at Walgreens had Chips Deluxe boxes on sale, at four for four dollars. One-pound bags of Chips Ahoy were two for three dollars, with a coupon. But the 76'er chose boxes of Chips Ahoy and Oreo cookies instead. Remember, he wanted something to eat - and never asked for an economics lesson.

"I'd like some soda," the 76'er said next - and back across the aisle, the beverages waited. But I stopped him when he pulled out a bottle of Sunny D orange drink instead of orange soda. That probably was better for his health. But at this point, I was wondering if his health already was suffering from being unable to read.

"That's it," the 76'er said - so we joined the short checkout line. No one inside Walgreens had stopped us yet, so I asked a bit more about the employees who supposedly don't want him there. The beggar said some staff members thought he was stealing merchandise. The pockets of his jacket certainly didn't look that large....

In only a moment, I checked out of Walgreens for the second time in about ten minutes. The cashier never asked a question about my return trip. Maybe she had seen the beggar before, and knew this routine. Or perhaps it was because I wore sunglasses the second time, so she didn't recognize my T-shirt and running shorts.

The beggar's four items wound up costing me $8.40. The four items I had bought minutes before cost less than half that price. There's a big lesson here for all Walgreens shoppers - read the circular before you start.

"When did you start begging for food?" I asked the 76'er as we walked out of Walgreens.

"Just today."

"Why did you start today?"

"A man let me down. He'd promised to give me work." The renovation of Broad Street in Phenix City can't start soon enough.

"Can I ask you for one more favor?" the 76'er said before we even returned to my car.

"That depends on what it is." I once bought a beggar in downtown Atlanta lunch when he asked for a quarter -- and after lunch, his request to me went up to a dollar.

"Can you give me a ride up to the Ramada Hotel?" I had driven out of my way to stop at Walgreens - so I might as well aid that seven-cent jump in gas prices, which parts of Columbus had Wednesday.

It had a been a long while since my car had a passenger, so I had to clear away the front passenger's seat. As I did, the beggar said, "Your words are making sense to me."

"What have I said?" By helping a man find food in a store, I wasn't exactly being Doctor Phil McGraw.

The 76'er never really answered the matter of what I said, but he knew what he liked. "It's been a long time since I had Chips Ahoys. You want one?" What do you know - a beggar who actually believes in "share and share alike."

"I've got cookies in the back, which I'll have when I get home."

"I really like Walgreens," the beggar responded. For someone who likes the chain so much, he certainly didn't know his way around the store.

As we drove north on U.S. 280, the 76'er explained a bit more about the Walgreens employees who don't want him inside. "Have you ever been in a convenience store, where the cashier thinks she's the boss hog?" No, I really hadn't. When you're ready with your money at the counter, it doesn't seem to matter.

"I like this road," the 76'er continued. "It's straight. It takes you straight to where you want to go." Take that, you critics of Phenix City government - the city at least got the 280 Bypass right.

"It's hotter than h**l," the beggar went on. "It's in the sixties. It feels like summer." So maybe his hat meant he really was from Philadelphia.

The beggar pointed out where the Ramada Limited hotel was - but I already knew that, having passed it many times. He also pointed out a big pothole at the driveway entrance. At this point, I reminded him I actually DO have vision - otherwise, I could not legally drive.

"A lot of folks around here, they wouldn't help me," the 76'er said as we stopped outside the Ramada Limited. But maybe the friend he was meeting there would. The beggar said there was talk of getting a job cutting grass. Those red-hot 60-degree temperatures can make it grow quickly, you know.

The 76'er was thankful for my help - and shook my hand twice as he climbed out of my car with his mid-afternoon snack. He said he liked me. I said it was because I bought food for him. He didn't exactly deny that. But I wonder if the number of people looking for handouts around that Walgreens will go up today.

That was only one of the highlights of my day Wednesday. The other occurred during breakfast - with an on-air challenge from WRCG's Robbie Watson. She wanted a clever caption for the story of the astronaut who's charged with attempted murder. The best I could do on short notice was: "LOONY ORBITER."

I called Robbie Watson and WRCG's "TalkLine" in response to her challenge - and was stunned when she said, "You are a stud!" That was an absolute first for me. And I'm so humbled by this title that.... hey, wait a minute! Isn't "stud" where horses go when they're old and retired?!

In the midst of all this action, there was a little news Wednesday as well....

+ A source close to the case told your blog several of the "To Catch a Predator" suspects arrested in Fortson last summer will enter guilty pleas next week. What are the rest going to do - claim all those cameras were using trick photography?

+ The new manager of the Dyas car dealerships in Lee County announced he'll build an "auto mall" at the new West Paces Crossing development near Auburn. He'll also change the name of the dealerships to Lynch. So "Dyas" is dying - but you'd better not say it's a victim of Lynching....

+ The evening news reported Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue has a role in the upcoming Tim Allen comedy "Wild Hogs." This makes two movie roles for the Governor in four months - so he's off to a good start toward leaving office in 2010, to become a prosecutor on "Law and Order."

+ Dozens of local high school football players made college commitments on "National Signing Day." This always leaves me disappointed -- because no one at the ceremonies signs them for the hearing-impaired.

+ Columbus State won a wild men's basketball game over Georgia College, 104-103 in double overtime. Georgia College could have won, but missed four short shots in the final seconds of the extra periods. Maybe "shorts" are out of style, in more than men's clothing.

+ Instant Message to Ryan's restaurants: Let me get this straight. Your commercials now offer "SteakHouse Classics" seven days a week?! I can remember when you WERE a steak house. Does this have something to do with the 30^th anniversary of "Roots?"

COMING SOON: An e-mail challenge to get up early in the morning....

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

7 FEB 07: GOOD GUYS KEEP OUT

"You drive 90 miles to come here, and then they won't let you inside the courtroom," a woman muttered Tuesday in a Russell County Courthouse hallway. That wasn't the only inconvenience. The hallway didn't have a table with magazines to read, either.

Several years ago I read a church youth magazine, which suggested one way to have cheap fun was to go to the courthouse and watch criminals get arraigned. But I'm sad to report you can't do that in Russell County. Friends and relatives were barred from Circuit Court room #1 Tuesday. So you have to believe what suspects say when they walk out - or almost as scary, trust their attorneys.

Your blog went to the Russell County Courthouse Tuesday for a "Hurtsboro Special Event." Constable Robert Schweiger was scheduled for arraignment, on two municipal charges [17 Jan]. But I couldn't get a seat in court, because only defendants were allowed in the courtroom -- and I can't believe the Constable found so many of them in Hurtsboro.

The turnout was so large for arraignment day in Russell County that only defendants were let inside for the 10:00 a.m. session. The only way outsiders could watch the court hearing was by peering through a gap in the courtroom doors, or a small hole in one door. You might say it was the people's peephole.

"It's so easy to stay out of trouble," one man told me as he looked at the large crowd in the hallway. But the man's son had not. He faced his third arraignment Tuesday, this time for possessing drugs in his apartment. "Police had nothing to do with it," the father added without my prompting - thus giving away a potential defense plan.

(That father told me he did NOT plan to join his son at any more court arraignments. Perhaps your family can learn from this -- that "three strikes, you're out" can apply to more than sentencing.)

A woman was also in the hallway, apparently waiting on her daughter's arraingnment. The woman told someone nearby the daughter seemed to be "getting the 21 out of her." I've heard of the Terrible Twos, but never the Terrible 21's.

A few people waiting outside Circuit Court #1 knew who Constable Robert Schweiger was. "He's the man with white hair," said a woman from Electra Bail Bonds. I knew she worked there because she wore a T-shirt saying so -- the closest thing I'd seen in a long time to welcoming parties at the airport.

(Another woman wore a T-shirt for an agency called "Bond, James Bond, Inc." I'm not sure which is tackier - a bail bond company with that name, or Cascade Hills Church's recent series called "Bonding with James.")

"Mr. Schweiger?" I asked politely to several older men as they walked out of the courtroom. None reacted to me - leaving me to wonder if the Constable was being saved for last, so he wouldn't get to make a scene before dozens of ordinary citizens.

(Hours later, I recalled what someone in Hurtsboro had told me about Constable Schweiger - that he's hard of hearing. But I didn't want to speak too loudly in the hallway, because too many Sheriff's Deputies were in the courtroom simply waiting for action.)

At about 11:15 the arraignment session ended, announced by a lawyer leaving the courtroom. So a few attorneys were allowed inside. There are relatives, there are friends -- and then there are people who REALLY are concerned about your well-being.

(As I thought about it, maybe I could have snuck inside Circuit Court #1 after all. I wore a tie to the arraignment, and a couple of people in the hallway treated me like I was an attorney. "Dressing for success" can make people act like you're successful, even if you really aren't.)

So what happened to Robert Schweiger? I stopped one of the attorneys leaving court to ask, and happened to come across someone who had represented the Constable in the past. What a small world - and for that matter, what a small hallway in the Russell County Courthouse to find people.

Attorney Jeremy Armstrong told me Robert Schweiger's case was continued until February 28. The Constable apparently wants to represent himself, in appealing the Hurtsboro Municipal Court convictions -- but questions arose about that. I suppose one question is whether Schweiger's dogs could be called as character witnesses.

From his experience, Jeremy Armstrong describes R.J. Schweiger as "eccentric," and a person who tries to "shake things up." Perhaps the Constable missed his calling, and should have become a chef on the Food Network....

Jeremy Armstrong told me R.J. Schweiger seems to have good intentions in Hurtsboro, but the "good old boys" don't like the way he's going about making changes. When you report a business owner to the Alabama Department of Transportation about their parking spaces, I guess that would make someone upset.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: That U.P.S. item from Robert Schweiger finally reached us Tuesday. We'll look at what's inside on our next "Hurtsboro Monday" next week.)

E-MAIL UPDATE: Today's e-mail to the blog is entitled, "ANOTHER RADIO CONTROLED STOOGE MEETS ANOTHER LIKE HIM SELF":

it is a shame that crimes can continue in times such as these, well meaning fools contribute to the demise of that it can never understand. it destroys and mutilates that has kept it alive. Radios in human beings exist by the hands of the us military. time stands still from it's beginning to its end, it is called the presence of this one in his name that i be. Such a world of governments in allied commonality. crimes against their humanity are hid in that called impossible by the hands of their government they give their lives to. Do not harm me, I have done no injustice to man or animal but only what was forced upon life to be done.

If you can help explain this message, please contact us. We don't think it's spam, because it did NOT include a hot tip in penny stocks.

I've never met anyone who actually had a radio inside his body. But I vaguely recall seeing a man on TV who had an FM music station playing on his metal teeth. I never found out if chewing tobacco made the music change in country.

Then there's the case of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh - who said once after his arrest that the government had stuck some kind of radio transmitter up his (ahem) derriere. If that claim was really true, I wonder why someone in Washington didn't press a button and blow him up in prison.

Now for other curiosities which passed our way Tuesday:

+ An East Alabama blog hinted some Columbus area Winn-Dixie stores may be bought out soon by - be still my heart - Kroger! To borrow from an old song: I don't care how you get here, but get here when you can.

(Meanwhile, the Opelika-Auburn News reported the Kroger store on Second Avenue in Opelika is closing. It will be replaced with a new store at the Tiger Town shopping center -- so I may never drive by the "classic Southern" stores of downtown Opelika again. You know, like Bubba's Pharmacy....)

+ On top of that, a Lee County developer announced plans to build a large new shopping center along Interstate 85 at the edge of Auburn. "West Paces Crossing" reportedly will have five department stores and more than a dozen new restaurants - and if it has a Jack-In-The-Box before Columbus does, I'm demanding an investigation.

+ Columbus Council voted 9-1 to make Columbus Day a paid city holiday. Is THAT the real reason why Uptown Jam was canceled several years ago?

+ The Chattahoochee County Commission voted to give back about $300,000 which was taken from the Sheriff's Department budget last year. You know Glenn Cooper is a tough Sheriff, when he's able to outfight an entire police department....

+ The Phenix City Council voted to cut funding for historic preservation by $70,000. So Fort Mitchell will have to grow old on its own, I guess....

+ Americus Police reported a raid on "The Sports Page" bar found youths using drugs and alcohol. Officers reportedly found marijuana hiding in a pool table. Somehow, I fear they had to disinfect the cue brace -- because teens tried to smoke with it.

+ Carver jumped past Jordan 54-51, to clinch the region title in high school boys' basketball. First Carver had a big football season, and now it has a top-ten team in basketball. If it can recruit some actors for one-act plays, Columbus High REALLY will be sweating.

+ Instant Message to the contractor who boasted to WRBL about preparing for Fort Benning's growth, by building a new Shogun restaurant: How does putting it on Whittlesey Boulevard really benefit Fort Benning? Wouldn't a restaurant on Victory Drive save soldiers some gas money?

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

6 FEB 07: I SEA DEAD SCROLLS

Our best wishes first to Jim Swilley, whom we read Monday is retiring as Pastor of North Highland Assembly of God. His successor will have tough shoes to fill - and may come in asking why the church isn't in the North Highland neighborhood anymore.

Columbus State University hosted an honors lecture Monday night, which Jim Swilley might have found interesting. A professor from Jerusalem talked about the "Dead Sea Scrolls." A good crowd turned out for this presentation - so while "drawing dead" is bad in poker, something Dead can still draw on campus.

If you're a regular blog reader (especially to our Saturday posts), you can understand why this topic interested me. The Dead Sea Scrolls are considered the most important religious discovery of the last century. Edgar Whisenhunt's book "88 Reasons Why the World Must End in 1988" apparently ranked farther down the list.

The lecturer was Professor Shalom Paul, who chairs the Bible Department at Jerusalem's Hebrew University. He also happens to be the chair of the Dead Sea Scrolls Foundation - and if you know anything about the Dead Sea, this group must be a very salty bunch.

This year marks six decades since the first seven of the Dead Sea Scrolls were found in a Middle East cave. Shalom Paul recalled the first three scrolls were sold by a Bethlehem antique shop for $100. Seven years later in 1954, they were sold for $225,000. Nowadays, they might be equal in value to Nick Saban's football contract at Alabama.

Shalom Paul described what he called a "gold in them thar hills" rush to search Middle Eastern caves, once the first Dead Sea Scrolls were found. But local residents beat archeologists to the best scrolls. Paul said archeologists could tell by the "packs of Marlboros" inside the caves. [True!]

Tens of thousands of Dead Sea Scroll fragments were recovered between 1947 and 1956, with nothing found since. The longest discovery was a 24-and-a-half foot scroll of the Biblical book of Isaiah. I'm not sure even pro basketball players could unroll that on their own.

Shalom Paul noted 90 percent of the Dead Sea Scroll fragments are in Hebrew, seven percent in Aramaic and three percent in Greek. He said this shows the people of that time were multilingual - so those of you complaining about signs in Spanish at Home Depot might want to shut up, and start learning.

Shalom Paul explained the Dead Sea Scrolls are significant because they're 2,000 years old, and show writings of scripture before the Bible as we know it was finalized. He called them books in a "pre-canonical stage." This is different from when Mario Andretti drove in the Indianapolis 500 - which was the "pre-Kanaan-ical stage."

Shalom Paul went on to say the Dead Sea Scrolls reveal the "matrix of Christianity." For instance, he said the practice of baptism has its roots in ritual bathing before meals by the ancient Essenes. But Paul took a real risk with his Columbus audience when he declared John the Baptist was "more accurately, John the Jew."

Shalom Paul calls them the "ever-alive Dead Sea Scrolls" - and his foundation makes sure of it by putting fragments of the scrolls on tour. The latest stop is Kansas City, beginning this month. But Paul said the scrolls can be displayed for only three months at a time. He didn't say why. Maybe one has a hidden restrictive covenant on it.

Shalom Paul revealed when the Dead Sea Scrolls are shown in San Diego next summer, the display for the first time will include copper scrolls currently kept in Jordan. Only a few scrolls were written on copper, and some people believe they contain hints for finding hidden treasures in the desert. Maybe THAT'S where those weapons of mass destruction from Iraq went....

It had been a long time since I attended a lecture such as this one. I learned many things from it - including a new "over-and-under" side game to play. I heard three cell phones ring during the presentation.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We'll have more from Shalom Paul's presentation this coming weekend.)

E-MAIL UPDATE: It's nice to have readers in high places - especially when they're the people we're writing about:

Hello Richard,

You have a great blog and I will take note of your cautions. Delta has begun to respond to fares rates as noted below. However, we must continue to monitor to see if the change in fares is permanent and reliability is there. The fares below reflect a drastic change over past fares.

Personal note: My son in the Air force reads this blog when he is deployed to the middle east to keep up with hometown news. Thanks.

Regards,

Don

Our thanks to Don Cook, whom we mentioned Sunday. Given his son's military service, I shouldn't be surprised at his involvement on the Columbus Airport Commission -- and this may give Atlantic Southeast Airlines reason to be very careful around here.

Don Cook's e-mail included an attachment from Columbus Airport Director Mark Oropeza, comparing Delta Air Line ticket prices for flights from Columbus and Atlanta. We weren't able to post it, but we'll e-mail it to anyone who asks. On average, the "price gap" is about 40 dollars. But as they say at that appliance store -- are these fares fairer?

The fare chart shows Delta had a great deal Monday for flights from Columbus to Boston. Buy tickets 21 days in advance for $258, and you'll beat the fare from Atlanta by 20 dollars. Add the cost of shuttle buses, and you might be able to use the savings for one night at a cheap Boston motel.

In contrast, the biggest price gap was for 14-day advance tickets to Philadelphia. A flight from Atlanta cost $270 Monday. From Columbus, it cost $373. As if they think "Southern heritage" supporters might go to the Liberty Bell, and attempt a coup?!

We also had a forwarded message sent our way Monday:

ALL THAT MONEY SPENT ON HIGH DEFINITION PLASMA...LCD...DSP...TO SEE RAINDROPS & PRINCE NOT PLAYING HIS GUITAR..........................STEPHEN KING ..........SKY -HIGH PYROTECHNICS INT.INC.

Blame the National Football League for this one. They should have known better than to have the singer of "Purple Rain" perform at halftime of the Super Bowl.

(Which reminds me of the best short movie review I ever read, from Eleanor Ringel of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution in 1984: "Purple Rain - down the drain.")

I was in a workplace Monday where people talked about Prince performing at the Super Bowl, about the rain in Miami, about the commercials - but no one talked about the game itself. That tells me it was boring, and I didn't miss a thing by turning it off and working on my tax return.

In fact, as I write this late Monday night, I still do NOT know which team won the Super Bowl. It's an experiment I do from time to time - to see how long I can go without learning some important bit of information. This shows if I'm overpowered by or overexposed to The Mass Media. And in this case, turning off TV newscasts after the weather works very well.

(And as long as I keep my radio on the FM religious stations and avoid their two-minute news updates, I might not learn which team won the game for years....)

Speaking of being "in the dark," let's look at other topics from Monday....

+ A construction crew broke an underground cable, knocking out power to Columbus Park Crossing for several hours. Things became SO BAD that some shop managers went to Lifeway Christian Store, to pray for the repair crew.

+ A convenience store on North Lumpkin Road was robbed - yet the videotape shown on WXTX "News at Ten" showed police officers smiling at the scene. C'mon now, the surveillance tape can't possibly be THAT funny....

+ The Columbus Better Business Bureau presented its annual "Torch Awards" for ethics in business. This year's winners include Northside Animal Hospital - where the prices had better be accurate, or the patients might bite.

+ ABC News "Nightline" visited the New York advertising agency which handles AFLAC commercials. CEO Dan Amos said business doubled in three years, with an agency which makes a big deal about being nice. It's a wonder the staff doesn't also do ads for Karo syrup....

(The female managers of this ad agency actually have written a book called "The Power of Nice," and contended to Nightline meanness in the workplace is "so last millennium." I presume these women never have been hired to do political commercials.)

+ Alabama Congressman Artur Davis announced a computer hard drive has disappeared from the Veterans Administration hospital in Birmingham. It could have information on 48,000 veterans. I think we can rule out Republicans doing this, since John Kerry isn't running for President again....

+ Instant Message to the driver of a car I saw in Phenix City, with a "BOOBAMA" license tag: I'll take three guesses....

1. You're a big Auburn fan.

2. You want Bo Callaway or Bo Jackson to be Barack Obama's running mate.

3. You have a serious problem with the American Medical Association.

SONG OF THE DAY: The evening news launched a new series Monday called "Does It Work?" It works in my brain - putting new words on the classic tune "Shall We Dance?"

Does it work?

Does the product do what the label said?

Does it work?

Or will you be so angry, you'll turn red?

Does it work?

Let's put some of these items to the test.

If they don't pass our muster, and their ads are full of bluster,

Then we'll discard them like they're jerks!

We don't want to waste our money,

So we'll see if they act funny.

Does it work? Does it work?? Does it work???

COMING WEDNESDAY: E-mail about radios.... which are inside your body....

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