18 JUN 06: LIVING TOO LARGE?

One of Columbus's biggest outdoor events of the year was held Saturday - the annual "Family Day in the Park." But trouble developed nearby after the event, leaving some people to wonder if this is turning into Freaknik South.

Columbus Police were called to Peachtree Mall Saturday night, because some people who went to Family Day in the Park supposedly got into a fight in the food court. But how do we know they went to Family Day? Were they noticeably sunburned?

Stores throughout Peachtree Mall were closed on advice of police, apparently to make sure the food court trouble didn't spread. The last thing we need is brawlers rushing into Macy's, and knocking down those top-dollar bottles of perfume.

Perhaps other stores were concerned about the Family Day in the Park crowd as well. We drove down Milgen Road Saturday afternoon, and found Shooters gun shop was closed for the day -- so if you forgot to pack a bottle opener, you were on your own.

Shooters even roped off the front of its store, so no one could park there. I assume this is in reaction to the robbers who rammed the front of the store several months ago -- because civil rights groups probably already are watching this place closely, simply because it sells guns.

McMurry Furniture down the street appeared open - but someone sat near the front door, apparently making sure the only people parking there were customers. Hauling a newly-purchased lounge chair to Cooper Creek Park certainly would have gained other people's attention....

A few stores near the entrance to Cooper Creek Park were open for parking Saturday -- but they charged ten dollars a car. Truly, the price of a free event is not always free....

With parking truly at a premium, some people left their cars along the side of Milgen Road and walk to Family Day in the Park. The line of cars stretched nearly to the main Post Office - and it had to feel strange for the staff there, to see all the cars pointing away from it for a change.

Inside Cooper Creek Park, the star act at Family Day in the Park was the Oscar-winning hip-hop group "Three Six Mafia." This should not be confused with the people who present "Street TV" Saturday nights on WLGA. I think that's the 6-6 Mafia.

You may recall the Three Six Mafia won an Academy Award for the song, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." On this Saturday, it was actually quite easy. Walk up to a single guy inside the park, or a car stuck in traffic on Milgen Road....

Davis Broadcasting estimated about 15,000 people attend Family Day in the Park. As the Ledger-Enquirer's front-page headline predicted Friday, it was a "massive throng" - although I'd doubt anyone attending the event would ever say that phrase, unless they worked FOR a newspaper.

(It may have been a massive throng - but how many men there really wanted to see a mini-thong?)

Davis Broadcasting tried to control the traffic at Family Day in the Park years ago, by having people park at Columbus Square Mall and ride shuttle buses. While the mall is gone, there's still a wide-open parking lot at the old Columbus Square 6 theaters. Why, they could actually have had the "movie under the stars" there Saturday night -- or even inside, where it's air-conditioned.

To be fair: the Peachtree Mall incident is the first time I've heard of any trouble like this associated with Family Day in the Park. The free event in Cooper Creek Park usually is crowded, but intended to be fun. Maybe if the mall's food court charged what the parking lots near the entrance charged, fewer customers would have meant a safer evening.

So the next time you drive down Milgen Road and wonder why "no parking" signs are all along the roadway, remember this weekend. I doubt they drew that large a crowd for the senior tennis tournament a few days ago....

E-MAIL UPDATE: There are plenty of items in our InBox these days, and we'll only get to a few of them today. Here's the main event:

HEY DUDE....

THAT COLOR CHANGE ON YOUR BLOG HAS GOT TO GO. I TEARED UP OVER THE DAILY BLOG AND IT WASN'T OVER WHAT WAS WRITTEN, MY EYES HURT ADJUSTING TO THE COLORS!!

WE WILL STILL READ IT IF IT IS ONE COLOR. NO ATTRACTION NEEDED.

I think this is the first time I've made a blog reader cry -- which I guess is better than making political campaigns angry.

The color changes on the blog have been there since day one, in January 2003. When someone challenged them in November 2004, we put the issue to a reader vote -- and 70 percent liked the style as it was. After all, sooner or later you see the official colors of about every uniform the Columbus Cottonmouths have ever worn.

But since this reader has brought up the issue again, we will do the same. THE BIG BLOG QUESTION asks you if we should stop the rotating colors, and go to one set style. Remember one thing, though -- changing hair colors helped make Judge Bobby Peters the popular elected official he is today.

We have time for one more e-mail -- a response to the WRBL job hunter we mentioned last week:

Hey Richard,

Thanks for the plug on your blog!

ChrisSweigart.com was actually a very valuable tool in a time when I was looking for a new opportunity. But, ChrisSweigart.com will soon be changing its format because I have accepted a new position.

I will remain here at WRBL, but I will now be working as the Site Coordinator for WRBL.com. Look for some exciting changes in the future!

Thanks again for the plug!

Chris Sweigart

The "site" Chris means is the WRBL web site - so if he copies from our blog and changes it to a rainbow of colors, maybe that "dude" who wrote us first will have to buy some eye drops.

Please note he did NOT reveal the new format of ChrisSweigart.com . He already has a blog, which recently restarted after a lengthy break -- so maybe he'll be selling DVD's of his "Running With the Bulls" series.

A different sort of running starts our wrap-up of Father's Day weekend news:

+ Our Saturday night jog on the Riverwalk topped three miles again - but the BIG news was that the stairway from Golden Park to the Riverwalk was lit, for the first time in more than a year. Which fired Parks Department employee should we write, to thank for this?

+ The downtown CB&T bank was evacuated, along with nearby businesses on Broadway. A suspicious toolbox was found outside the building - but a close check found it was indeed a toolbox full of tools. Construction workers on Front Avenue should drive to lunch, from now on....

+ A memorial was dedicated outside the Russell County Courthouse to Albert Patterson, the Attorney General candidate who traveled to Phenix City during the 1954 election attempting to rid the town of vice. In 2006, not even Roy Moore came to Phenix City attempting that.

+ Georgia lost to Rice 6-4 in its first game of the College World Series. I can relate to this - because I face some sticky rice from time to time when I cook dinner.

+ Instant Message to Summerville Baptist Church in Phenix City: Your Vacation Bible School theme should be ARCTIC Edge - with two C's. At least, that's how other Baptist churches spell it on their signs. Maybe your school should have some remedial spelling first?!

COMING THIS WEEK: Not one, but THREE blog exclusives are brewing from e-mail tips.... including one dating back four years....

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17 JUN 06: TOO EARLY TO BED

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

We wish all the dads reading this a happy Father's Day weekend. And whether you're a dad or not, we hope all of you will take a moment to think about the fathers for whom this weekend actually could be painful -- because they've lost a special child, perhaps very recently.

After more than 25 years in the broadcast news business, you might think I've seen and experienced it all. But the other day, there was a first -- in the middle of
the 5:00 p.m. newscast. I was in the control room, part of a team of four people -- when in the middle of a news section, the phone rang at my seat. "Tell him it's an emergency," an anxious woman said. "The baby stopped breathing."

It was the director's baby, a father focused on putting things on the air properly. Not knowing the most graceful way to handle this, I told the woman to wait a moment until the end of the section when a commercial break began.

Thankfully, it was only about a minute later when the director was able to turn away from the TV screens and talk on the phone. He obviously had to leave, in the middle of a half-hour newscast. We quickly tracked down a backup director, while the one on duty hurried away -- because the show must go on, and plenty of TV viewers probably didn't care if there was a crisis behind the scenes, anyway.

But sadly, this story has no happy ending. The baby apparently never regained breathing, and a little girl named Ja'Ni'Ya died. She was "little" in so many ways - because she was born prematurely in early May, and she died only four weeks later.

Admittedly I had mixed emotions about this from the beginning. The announcement of Ja'Ni"Ya's birth in May congratulated not the new mother and father, but the new dad "and his girlfriend." The Bible believer in me knows that's not the right approach. It's an approach I've never taken - and in 2006, it might just explain why I'm still single.

I didn't dare speak my mind about the baby. It would have sounded harsh and judgmental, instead of supportive. Instead, I simply didn't bring up the subject.
But when the phone rang in the middle of the 5:00 p.m. news, I responded as best I could. I told co-workers if they believed in prayer, they should pray. I went home, and I prayed for the baby as well.

But alas, Ja'Ni'Ya still died - a baby family members considered a miracle when she was born, because she was a "preemie" and a potential survivor. So when the little girl was buried this past week, it stirred a lot of deep thoughts.

The casket for Ja'Ni'Ya was about the size of a bread box. There appeared to be the usual six pallbearers, but only two were needed to carry the body from the church for the drive to the grave site. The minister tried as well as he could to explain the deeper meaning of it all - but the best he could give was the phrase, "God makes no mistakes."

I can agree with that comment - but to do so takes faith. A lot of faith. Faith in a God who promises to resurrect the dead, "small and great." It's now more clear to me than ever who the small are. Imagine Ja'Ni'Ya coming up alongside Goliath. It boggles the mind -- but the Bible promises that scene will occur someday.

The minister did not address the matter of Ja'Ni'Ya being an out-of-wedlock baby. I can think of some churchgoing people who would say God took the baby for that very reason. But there are so many cases where God does NOT do that - so I choose to leave the "why" question for God to explain someday. After all, He's much smarter than I am. Maybe not you, but He certainly is for me.

Never had I attended a funeral for someone so young. Never had I visited a corner of a cemetery set aside for babies. Ja'Ni'Ya now rests there, alongside at least one child who only lived one day. It makes 28 days seem like a long time - and should make us baby boomers who have been alive more than 17,000 days (yes, I did the math) feel especially blessed.

(SCHEDULED NEXT WEEK: That old question we wanted to bring you Friday..... and memories of our fallen computer....)

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15 JUN 06: YOU THE MONSTER?

Some people look for work the high-tech way - searching and applying for jobs online. Others look for jobs the old-fashioned way. You may know some of them -- because they knock on apartment doors in June, offering to cut the grass.

We found interesting examples of both approaches to the job hunt Wednesday. The old-fashioned approach could be seen at the Columbus Career Center, where interviews were underway for the area's new hospital. The fact that it's located in Phenix City didn't seem to upset anyone there.

The new Summit Hospital is scheduled to open in Phenix City in August. Yet executives apparently felt they had to come to Columbus to find workers. Is Alabama's unemployment rate that low -- or do that many jobless people have trouble finding the Fifth Avenue Extension?

You may recall the top executive of Summit Hospital was fired a couple of years ago, with construction barely started. There was concern about him wanting to live in Columbus, and not being "committed" to Phenix City. Maybe the people being interviewed Wednesday are expected to move on to the new Kia plant....

Yes, I know - Columbus has six times more people than Phenix City, so the "worker pool" is bigger. But it seems strange to hear about Summit Hospital hiring workers on the Columbus side of the river first. Will this medical center have doctors which Doctors Hospital throws away?

WRBL reported the search Wednesday at the Columbus Career Center actually focused on food workers. Hopefully the new hospital will pay more than fast-food restaurants do - and hopefully a consumer group won't file suit, over its trans-fats.

So what about the high-tech way to find a job? We found a surprising approach Wednesday, which also involves WRBL. Reporter Chris Sweigart is advertising himself -- on his own web site. Apparently the fees charged by eBay simply are too high....

I don't know when ChrisSweigart.com started, but he's clearly using it to offer his services as a journalist - and apparently not to WRBL. After all, that's the top item on his resume page. You'd figure the bosses there would know he works there now.

You can even see a short video clip on Chris Sweigart's home page, with some of his "Running With the Bulls" reports from Iraq. The clip plays automatically, whether you want it to start or not - so maybe he borrowed this idea from America Online.

Hopefully Chris Sweigart does NOT think he can find a new job simply by setting up a web site with his own video clip and resume. It takes much more than that to be noticed online these days - like a Myspace page listing all your enemies.

As someone who's had web sites and blogs for more than six years, I've learned the Internet is a good sales tool only if you market yourself in other ways. News spreads fast in cyberspace only if it involves outlandish politics or strange dancing.

Anyone can put out a "cyber-shingle" and have a web site or online business. But there's still no alternative for personal sales calls - and I mean phone calls, not e-mails. So many Power Frisbee e-mails have gone unanswered this year that I wonder if some people thought the frisbee came with an electrical cord.

A friend of mine put a nice and simple one-page resume online a couple of years ago, at a web site in her name. She
told me later she had to wait more than a year before finding full-time employment. Maybe if she'd put some of those cheap Google ads on it, for extra money....

We'll see if the personal web site works any better for Chris Sweigart - and now let's look at other Wednesday discoveries, on a day when admittedly I let an overtime hockey game distract me:

+ Top Junior ROTC members from Muscogee and Chattahoochee County participated in a "Leadership Challenge" camp at Fort Benning. We were able to see the agenda, and it included a lunch of "meals ready to eat." Don't they WANT these young people to become soldiers someday?

+ Muscogee and Harris County high school football coaches held a camp for young people at Kinnett Stadium. They celebrated Flag Day in a unusual way - by trying to avoid having officials throw any.

+ WXTX "News at Ten" interviewed a Notasulga couple which makes a soap made from goat milk. As long as no one fouls up the processing, and no goat hairs get mixed in....

+ Closing arguments were made in the Don Siegelman corruption trial. Prosecutors argued the former Alabama Governor had a "pay to play" policy when he was in office. So? What do you expect from a lottery supporter?

(Instant Message to Mr. Siegelman: Are you going online at night, and calling up some of Bill Campbell's speeches from Atlanta -- just in case?)

COMING FRIDAY: Is it time for an old blog question to have a second look?

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14 JUN 06: THE 92-PERCENT SOLUTION

Before we get to our topic, a big welcome to all of you who learned about us Tuesday from WRCG's "Talkline." I'm hearing so many people heard about our blog, the station's signal may be more powerful than we imagined.

We'll get to the TalkLine buzz, but we start with the end of Columbus Council budget season. The councilors approved a $193 million budget Tuesday - an amount which comes to a bit more than $1,000 per resident. And since much of that money comes from sales taxes, I'm not sure a local "Tax Freedom Day" ever comes.

The Columbus Council vote was unanimous on the fiscal 2007 budget -- and it was taken while Mayor Bob Poydasheff was out of the country on the Chamber of Commerce trip. If he comes back and claims this as his own personal victory, ask him to show the photos of Japan again.

As you may know, the big question in the Columbus city budget was how much public safety workers would be paid. The good news for them is that they'll get a raise. The bad news is that no deal was reached to add them to the "military
discounts" offered at stores.

Columbus Council decided on a three-tier raise for all city workers, with a five-percent base. People who served the longest with the city will receive a 7.5 percent raise. And if Councilor Red McDaniel was on the city payroll, he might become a millionaire.

When we say all city workers will get a raise, we mean ALL - including a raise for City Manager Isaiah Hugley. Does this mean people with Sate Farm insurance policies through his wife can get a premium reduction?

In addition to the overall raise, Columbus Council approved a couple of incentive bonuses for attracting new public safety workers. But of course, critics will say it's still not enough to match what burly men can get in the National Football League.

Columbus Police Chief Rick-to-the-Y Boren is hopeful a $1,000 package of incentives will attract more police officers at job fairs. If that doesn't work, I have some suggestions - scrambled dogs at the recruiting table, or specially-made AFLAC ducks.

WRBL reported the Columbus city budget provides 92 percent of the amount recommended by an outside study. But why 92 percent? Why not round it down to 90 percent, and claim you're tithing?

So is everybody happy with city workers getting raises? Of course not. This is Columbus, you know. The only thing which might make everybody happy is an announcement that the Third Brigade will never go to Iraq again.

For one thing, the new city budget means layoffs for 33 full-time city workers and 17 part-time workers. Many of them will receive a severance package - which I hope doesn't insult them, by including a Char-Broil grill.

Then there was the jail officer who told a reporter it doesn't make sense to pay city employees 92 percent of their estimated market value when they do "100-percent work." Imagine how much cows would complain, if they learned they were giving two-percent milk.

The pay increases approved Tuesday will take effect July 1 - but officials say it may take until November for all city employees to see the change in their checks. If I were you, I'd watch my speed VERY carefully when Independence Day weekend comes....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's an interesting issue from our InBox, which relates to local budgets:

It would be interesting to see how many soldiers living in Columbus claim as their home states those that don't have state taxes..I think these states that let non-residents claim them as home states yet own no property there should pay school taxes to the states they live in...

Hmmmm - so a Fort Benning soldier might claim he really lives near Fort Hood, Texas to take a tax deduction?! Considering how much most soldiers are paid, you'd think they'd be praised for their strategy.

This writer may be hinting at a way Muscogee County schools can obtain extra money, to pay for extra soldiers and families being reassigned to Fort Benning. Yet there could be a problem, because I've heard Alabama tends to have lower property taxes than Georgia. Call it the "lottery player's revenge."

BLOG UPDATE: Oh dear - our Tuesday blog entry apparently touched a nerve with some people. And sadly, it has nothing to do with our admission about watching "How to Get the Guy...."

I'm hearing Tuesday's post made supporters of Jim Wetherington livid, especially after "TalkLine" brought it up. But as of Tuesday afternoon, none of them had written the blog in response - so perhaps the law officers are conducting a criminal background check on me first.

Supporters of Jim Wetherington apparently think I'm the Bob Poydasheff camp, when it comes to the mayor's race. But if that's true, the incumbent would have stayed around to hear my speech at the Columbus Kiwanis Club last September - and he didn't.

Some people reportedly even called TalkLine to verify the spelling of my last name. Is this to send the blog donations - or to get me on a mailing list, for rumors in the other direction?

But perhaps I was a bit too unbalanced with Tuesday's post. So today, I'll make a suggestion in the other direction. Will the people spreading rumors about the Columbus High School arson fire of 1981 please present their evidence NOW? Don't wait until October. Give us time to examine it. You can pick the secluded parking lot.

(Come to think of it, when Power Frisbee has its Columbus round in late October, I may have to avoid asking the mayoral candidates to throw out the ceremonial first disc. Unless they play catch with each other....)

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: We've written about rumors concerning Bob Poydasheff, too - and for a national audience at that. Here's what appeared in LaughLine issue #654, of 22 Jul 02:

LaughLine received a letter the other day, claiming a candidate in the Columbus, Georgia mayor's race was in a hit-and-run car wreck last month. The letter had an Atlanta return address on the envelope. Some people are so concerned about cleaning up our town that they've moved 100 miles away from it.

The return address on the letter raised suspicions right away. It had NO zip code, and a post office box of "4-1-1." If the box number had been 9-1-1, we would have called police for an anthrax check.

(And another thing: the return address said "Atlanta" - but the postmark said Columbus, last Wednesday. We all know the wrong city's postmark would have delayed this letter at least a week....)

Inside the envelope, we found an actual Columbus police report on the collision involving mayoral candidate Bob Poydasheff. Either someone's trying to keep him from winning the election - or they think we saw this wreck, and we're engaging in a dastardly cover-up.

LaughLine went downtown to confirm the police report was legitimate. We noticed someone in front of us with the same envelope, acting exasperated -- so when he stepped inside the police office, we decided to wait him out. It turned out NOT to be a campaign worker, but a newspaper reporter. We miss the days when journalists wore press hats....

Our own check of the Bob Poydasheff collision showed the police report was real - but the damage was slight and NO hit-and-run charges were filed. So is this collision really a big deal? Should someone get bumped from an election for one wrong bump with a car?

(If one bump with a car disqualifies a candidate from victory, Dale Earnhardt's family should give back about half his NASCAR wins....)

A letter with the Bob Poydasheff police report claims the candidate asked a Columbus police officer to contact the other driver, and may have "verbally abused" that driver's mother. What did he say -- "I hope you'll vote for me" ?!?!

Bob Poydasheff told the local newspaper [ledger-enquirer.com] he never remembered hitting another car, and was on his cell phone when the collision happened. Uh-oh - another politician who didn't keep his hands free of trouble....

The Bob Poydasheff letter happened to reach LaughLine only three days after we broke news about the billboard problems of another mayoral candidate, Jed Harris. We're tempted to say the Harris campaign is behind this letter -- but then again, maybe some local cheapskate is trying to finagle us for a free subscription.

(We have to note the letter making these claims has at the top: "Issue #650." Either the writer used our issue of last Tuesday as a basis for this letter - or 649 more charges are coming out before next month's primary.)

Back to the present now, for some final thoughts from Tuesday:

+ A six-city survey by the group "Public Citizen" rated the Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System among the best libraries in the country. It seems safe to assume this survey was taken after the Albert Paley sculpture debate was over....

+ A new Manpower survey found 30 percent of Columbus employers plan to add staff between July and September. The hot job areas include construction and education - so you can save the Muscogee County School District money by building your own classroom..

+ Russell County Emergency Management Director Chance Corbett told WRBL he's applied for federal grant money to create "safe rooms." Some of us can remember when these were located in banks....

+ Georgia gubernatorial candidate Mark Taylor told GPB's "Georgia Weekly" state officials now have to justify to potential investors why money for education was cut. Apparently it worked with Kia - or maybe that company plans to hire all the dropouts it can find.

(Mark Taylor kept bringing up the word "priorities" during the GPB talk show, concerning education. The host never asked why Taylor considered it a priority years ago to put his son in a private school in Atlanta, instead of a public one in Albany.)

+ Instant Message to Macy's: Let me get this straight. You're having a one-day sale today, on the Wednesday before Father's Day - and you're marking down WOMEN'S swimsuits 60 percent?! Are you saying the gift Dad really wants is a hotter-looking Mom?

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13 JUN 06: WETHERINGTON'S STORM?

Monday was a big day for Columbus mayoral candidate Jim Wetherington. He named two campaign co-chairs - leading some of us to wonder if he really wants to trim the fat of city government.

One of the Jim Wetherington campaign co-chairs is a very familiar name: Gene Hodge. It's the former police chief and the former sheriff, together again - and let's see someone dare speak against a public safety pay increase now.

Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that Gene Hodge is co-chairing the Jim Wetherington campaign. After all, Hodge was hired by Wetherington to join the Georgia Department of Corrections after he retired as sheriff. So where does payback end, and "good ol' boys" begin?

Another familiar political name will be finance chair of the Wetherington campaign - former Georgia Transportation Commissioner Sam Wellborn. Wellborn will come in handy, in telling the candidate which neighborhoods have the dumpiest streets with the most votes.

But another event connected with Jim Wetherington was mentioned on Monday's front page of the Ledger-Enquirer - one which could be a storm cloud for him. Monday marked the 25^th anniversary of the Columbus High School arson fire. It remains unsolved today - so can we really trust this man to solve a budget puzzle?

For years I've heard anonymous whispers that Jim Wetherington's son somehow was behind the 1981 Columbus High School arson fire, and Dad/Chief did something to get him off the hook. But no one's ever come forward with proof of it - and no one's told me about Wetherington's son giving tips to Adam Johnson.

The Ledger-Enquirer article never mentioned the rumors about Jim Wetherington's son, and never mentioned his part in the Columbus High School arson investigation at all. So when is the editorial page endorsement coming - in September or October?

Before you accuse ME of rumor-mongering, I repeat - these are rumors others were spreading well before I arrived. They're spread by men who call TV stations anonymously on Saturday nights, when an episode of COPS gets too boring....

I'm simply bringing this issue up now, before others do it in an election year. Think back four years to the anonymous mailings about Bob Poydasheff's traffic violations, and you'll know what I mean.

If Jim Wetherington wants to put the rumors to rest and avoid a political "October surprise," it might do him well to address the 1981 Columbus High School fire NOW. Talk about it. Answer questions. Bring forward his son - assuming he's not in a witness protection program somewhere....

By the way, Mayor Bob Poydasheff seems several steps behind Jim Wetherington in the election-year planning. I've heard no announcement of HIS campaign chair - and Monday he was out of the country, on that Chamber of Commerce business trip. Maybe he'll come home with a nice campaign donation from Hyundai.

BLOG UPDATE: As for the BIG reason why some people support Jim Wetherington, the F.B.I. released a new city-by-city crime report Monday. It shows violent crime increased last year nationwide - so someone should photocopy that University of Georgia police pay study and send it to every City Hall in the land.

The good news from the F.B.I. crime report is that rape cases in Columbus dropped 20 percent last year, and the murder count was almost even. But auto theft reached a nine-year high - perhaps proving those discount incentives at car dealers still aren't good enough.

Burglaries in Columbus also hit a nine-year high last year, and have increased by 51 percent since 2000. I stumbled upon an all-natural way to scare burglars off years ago, in metro Atlanta. Simply let squirrels roam around in your attic, making noise.

Fraternal Order of Police Randy Robertson suspects the burglary rate is jumping because of drug-dealing. Be careful, teenagers - and if someone drives to your sports practice offering a brand endorsed by Barry Bonds, just say no.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We always appreciate readers who want to set us straight. This one concerns a 9 Jun analysis of the primary vote in Smiths Station:

So you don't understand what's wrong with Smiths Station city employees working at the polls? Let me explain it to you. If the city employee's job is so unimportant that they can take the day off work to work for the county then maybe their city job isn't needed and should be abolished. Or do we even know if they took the day off or were they paid by two governments for the same day's work. (Note: This was not a city election. In AL all other elections (besides city elections) are conducted by the county. The county pays the poll workers $90. per day, supervisors more.

Also, having three fullly staffed polling places for Smiths Station in a Primary election was nothing more than government over-reaction to a problem that occurs only in General Elections (in November) every four years. We have many voters who choose to vote only every four years in the Presidential elections. Therefore, we've had long lines every four years at the one polling place (Smiths Station High School). This was a Primary election which normally gets a small percentage of voters. Therefore we paid lots of poll workers at three locations to do very little all day long. Check the numbers. And the Primary Run-off election next month will probably get less than half of the voters who turned out Tuesday (check the figures for previous run-off elections). So... will Lee County have all three locations in Smiths Station open and fully staffed again? If so, it will be another big waste of taxpayers money. But who cares? If they waste too much and run out of money all they have to do is raise our taxes again!

In summary, no voters should have to wait in lines like we've had in Smiths Station in the last two presidential elections. I just suggest that the county officials check the records, determine when the problem exists, correct the problem and not over-react.

Also, reference your comment that one change on our School Board couldn't make much of difference. Obviously you don't know what's going on with the Lee County School Board. There are two sides. Those who are loyal to the Superintendent and those who are not. One vote when you have the majority can make a huge difference. Smiths Station Observer

Thank you for the observations - and I still don't know whether or not Smiths Station city employees worked at the polls last Tuesday. If the city clerks can get ahead in their tax collection work....

If dividing one polling place into three displeases this Observer, we give this writer a gold star for patience. Most people nowadays probably don't like to wait three hours to vote - and get annoyed when the transmission shop has to keep their car overnight.

But isn't there a risk of the lines growing even longer, as Smiths Station grows as a city? If this new town has to have two Dollar General stores, it makes you wonder....

We'll see in months to come whether a new member on the Lee County School Board will tip the balance of power. I haven't heard of any move to throw out the Superintendent - but then again, I haven't heard any motion to name a school after him.

Now a quick check of other Monday items:

+ "Black Enterprise" magazine named AFLAC one of the 40 best businesses in the country, in terms of diversity. The biggest surprise on the list is Denny's restaurants - but I guess they're talking about diversity in employment, not the type of customers who get served.

+ Defense attorneys for former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman rested their case, without calling any witnesses in his behalf. Once an overconfident politician, always an overconfident politician....

(The main attorney for Don Siegelman called the prosecution's weeks of witnesses in the federal corruption trial a "rat-trap" of a case. Is this man being consulted by former Atlanta mayor Bill Campbell?)

+ WDAK radio's Val McGuinness quipped during the morning news: "Most of our audience doesn't have a sense of humor." I think he was joking when he said that - but then again, what if he was talking about ME?

+ Georgia stopped South Carolina 11-5, to join Georgia Tech in baseball's College World Series. Maybe the teams can work together to find a restaurant in Omaha, Nebraska which sells grits.

+ Instant Message to the producers of that new show "How to Get the Guy": I'll take Kris, the corporate litigator -- happily. She can be the life of my party anytime. And if she turns me down, I want my own sequel series where men look for Ms. Right.

(Uh-oh -- before I come across the wrong way with that last joke: I went back and forth between that dating show and the Stanley Cup Finals hockey game. Really. Carolina won, while Michelle lost....)

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: Where do Fort Benning soldiers REALLY live?....

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12 JUN 06: WHY DO THE PREACHERS RAGE?

His name is Raymond J. Johnson Senior. But you don't have to call him Johnson - and if you don't check his mood first, you might want to avoid that whole comedy routine completely. His past includes post-traumatic stress disorder, so too much time before a punch line might set him off.

"I'm mad as h**l," Raymond Johnson Sr. told me when we first met last week. In fact, he stood close enough to me that he touched my shirt a time or two to make his points. I was SO tempted to take a flop back toward a wall, like pro basketball players do.

Why was Raymond Johnson Sr. so mad? This retired Army Sergeant First Class is upset with the way he's being treated as a veteran, and the way other veterans are being treated. "Don't f**k with me," he told me at one point - but really, I didn't take that laptop computer filled with veterans records.

Raymond Johnson Sr. decided to make the Columbus media rounds to spread his angry message. With his family. And his Army uniform. And his purple heart plaque. And several notebooks full of documents. About the only thing missing was Cindy Sheehan.

Raymond Johnson Sr. already was upset that his complaints weren't being heard and addressed by government officials. But I set him off when he named State Senator Seth Harp, and I asked why he wrote a state lawmaker about a federal issue. I forgot Harp can file suit as an attorney, the rest of the year.

Raymond Johnson Sr. raised his voice in agitation when I challenged his logic about writing Seth Harp -- and he kept complaining for about ten solid minutes, swearing a few times along the way. By the way, did I mention this man is currently a church pastor?

But I should start at the very beginning. Raymond Johnson Sr. served 20 years and 28 days in the Army, receiving a purple heart (albeit 13 years late) for his effort to capture Manuel Noriega in Panama in 1989. Now he says Noriega is treated better than he is -- but hey, they both claim to be converted.

Raymond Johnson's purple heart from Panama was for a parachute jump which had a bad landing, and a building which crashed down on him. Yet the retired Sergeant was well enough to let all his soldiers call home, from the office phone of Manuel Noriega. Did our government ever pay his replacement that long-distance bill?

Raymond Johnson Sr. is quick to show you the incisions in his body from several operations. He says doctors made mistakes in a lumbar fusion, and he wound up in a "body cast" for two years - even as he trained soldiers at Fort Benning. I'll assume someone else showed how sit-ups are done.

. Raymond Johnson Sr. told me he's receiving about $1,700 a month in veterans' disability - yet he needs "food stamps and welfare" to support his wife and three children. He calls himself one of the millions of vets who are "being neglected." But at least in Columbus, Lonnie Jackson honors him several times a year....

(It doesn't help that "cruel creditors" keep calling, as Raymond Johnson describes them. He says a mortgage company is trying to evict him for being two payments behind. But maybe he should be thankful -- most apartment landlords wouldn't give him one.)

But perhaps just as irritating for him, Raymond Johnson Sr. says he was never recommended for any kind of psychiatric or mental help. He now battles post-traumatic stress disorder - and he acted in front of me like he might have that new I.E.D. anger disorder to boot.

The last straw for Raymond Johnson Sr. apparently came June 2, when he had a visit with "Team A from the Tuskegee Veterans Administration." He says that team denied him help -- so he became a "Type A" in response. As in personality....

Not only did Raymond Johnson Jr. visit Columbus media outlets and write Seth Harp, he also wrote letters to Oprah Winfrey and Larry King seeking to spread his complaints. "It's gonna be a great book," he assured me. And once it's written, those TV hosts actually may pay attention to him.

My first meeting with Raymond Johnson Sr. stressed him out so much, he said he couldn't go on to the Ledger-Enquirer. In fact, one of his letters says: "I believe I've even lost most of my physical and mental capacity...." Yet of course, he denied to me that he's crazy.

I didn't dare interrupt Raymond Johnson Senior's long angry speech - but he returned to my office the next day to apologize, and left behind some personal papers to consider. How would I return them to him? If I visited his house, there seemed to be a chance I could wind up in a body cast myself.

But since Raymond Johnson Sr. is a pastor, the better choice seemed to be a visit to his Sunday service. It would be "his turf," but it would also be "holy ground" in his eyes. If he shoved me off the stairway, some members actually might consider it an attempt to heal me.

Raymond Johnson Sr. is pastor of Solid Rock Temple of Faith, a church he founded three years ago on Avalon Road. The church is hidden behind a house which is also a ministry - hidden away from not only the world, but police officers if think went out of control.

I arrived at Solid Rock Temple of Faith ten minutes before service time, and was the third car in the parking lot. The last time something like this happened to me, I was on vacation in San Francisco - where a large church had just split in two, and someone seeing me expressed happiness "someone with money" still was attending.

Solid Rock Temple of Faith is small and simple, with seven pews on either side of the center aisle. Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. saw me walk in, came to the pew I chose in the rear and gave me a long hug. Now that's more like what many people expect from a preacher - unless they're preaching against same-sex marriage.

This little temple has no organ, has an upright piano which no one touched while I was there - but plenty of Christian records which was played loudly. I guess that's the modern alternative to ringing a bell, for a call to worship.

"We'll start the service in five minutes," Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. announced. But then he proceeded to delay the service 15 minutes, while giving me a tour of the building. He showed me plaques he'd received from the military, and even showed me his scars again. I took a camera, but NOT for this reason....

Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. believes God has told him to get his message about veterans to President Bush. He told me this at the temple matter-of-factly - but only days before, he talked about "bringing a hammer" to do it. In modern-day Washington, this might get him a visit from the Secret Service first.

"Susannah Avery embarrassed me," Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. went on to tell me. The WRBL reporter apparently spent four hours with him last week, but only put 30 seconds of his story on the air. No, I did NOT bring up News 3 to prompt this response....

"We're a small church," Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. said a couple of times - and indeed, the total attendance Sunday was 14. Don't count his family, and the total was nine. No wonder he takes no salary from the pastor's job - I only saw a few one-dollar bills in the offering plate.

But the small congregation has one talented singer - a Filipino-American woman the pastor called "Sister Sam." She was one of the Rooster 106 FM talent search winners, who performed at the RiverCenter's George Jones concert last weekend. If she wasn't married, Cowboy Troy would be all over her.

After a few songs, Pastor Raymond Johnson Sr. preached from the book on Genesis on the subject, "Don't Let the Green Grass Fool You." That's a timely topic, with near-drought conditions....

The Pastor only mentioned his concern about veterans and his "word from God" to talk with President Bush in passing. But he did speculate the President was surrounded by "a bunch of thieves and liars." Who else has Jack Abramoff been paying off lately?

And Raymond Johnson Sr. surprised me by working into his sermon a verse I said to him after his "mad-as-h**l" speech days before. I had quietly told him to be angry and sin not. He'd stepped on the boundary line so much in our first meeting, he might as well have been playing clay court tennis at Cooper Creek Park.

I left Solid Rock Temple of Faith with Raymond Johnson Sr. as a friend, and we're praying for each other. But I still wonder about several contrasts I'd seen during the day:

+ I parked my car next to a giant brown satellite dish. Does this pastor have enough money to subscribe to DirecTV, and watch Trinity Broadcasting Network for ideas?

+ The congregation was very informal and friendly, as opposed to the pastor's 20-year background of Army formality. My own congregation would have been shocked at how many people actually wore T-shirts.

+ Then there's the Pastor himself - with contrasts as basic as his church clothes. He wore a tie with the words to John 3:16 - held by a tie bar showing a long-barreled rifle.

Now let's head for the fellowship hall, to discuss other Sunday subjects:

+ A front-page story in the Ledger-Enquirer revealed Columbus City Manager Isaiah Hugley is in for a nice raise, no matter which pay plan the Council approves. No wonder he sat quietly when Sheriff Ralph Johnson said, "Fair is fair."

+ The Talbot County town of Woodland regained water, after a two-day outage was traced to a leaking pipe. At least the pipe wasn't under that ratty-looking gymnasium they're still trying to fix....

+ Georgia evened its baseball super-regional series with South Carolina 11-5, forcing a decisive third game today. But what's the deal with all the home runs at Foley Field in Athens? I've seen kitchen sieves hold more things than that yard.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Parks Department: In case you find money in the budget to clean Benning Park this year - use gloves around one corner of the west racquetball court. I don't know who decided to walk a dog there....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Because of the length of today's topic, we'll postpone our e-mail complaint about elections in Smiths Station until Tuesday.)

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11 JUN 06: THE VALUE OF PIE

It all started with a giving church member and his mother. The mother seems to buy more food than she needs, so she passes the rest on to the church member and his family -- and that church member sometimes passes food on to me. It's like playing "hot potato," only these are more like canned goods.

I've received all sorts of free food from this church member in recent years, without even asking. But a few months ago, he gave me something challenging -- a can of Libby's pumpkin. It's probably challenging for a lot of single guys, because you're not supposed to simply open it and gulp it.

The label on the can of pumpkin showed its typical "serving suggestion" -- made into a pumpkin pie. But turn the can around, and you learn it's not as simple as spooning the can's contents into a pie shell. You need several other ingredients -- and in several months, my friend hasn't given me any of them.

A few weeks ago, I decided enough was enough. This can of pumpkin HAD to be used, so I decided to assemble the ingredients for the "Famous Pumpkin Pie" recipe on the label. But I was lacking several of them - and who knows how many roaches were stuck, inside my boxes of sugar.

Have you ever tried to follow those directions on the pumpkin can labels? These days, preparing a pumpkin pie is a pricy proposition. I'll stop there for a moment, and let you try to read that last sentence aloud....

I needed several extra ingredients, which I've never bought before in my life. The least of my worries was 59 cents, for a can of evaporated milk - but if it's evaporated already, why do I hear something sloshing around inside?

But the big shock came when I shopped for a few extra spices which the "Famous Pumpkin Pie" recipe requires. All I need is a half-teaspoon of ground ginger - but a tiny 0.8-ounce jar of that costs almost four dollars at Piggly Wiggly! You'd think Ginger of "Gilligan's Island" was exporting it from that desert island....

Such a tiny jar of ground ginger almost blew up my grocery budget for the week, so I wanted until the next trip to buy another necessary spice. That's because a small jar of ground cloves at Piggly Wiggly cost more than six dollars. Which big-money perfume is using these things, anyway?

All I need for the "Famous Pumpkin Pie" is a quarter-teaspoon of ground cloves - but last Thursday night at Wal-Mart, a 0.9-ounce jar of that cost almost four dollars again. I changed stores and saved money. But I could have used that four dollars to buy six two-liters bottles of diet cola, and drown my thirst for dessert.

As I write this, the thought occurs that I could have bought whole ginger and cloves and ground them down myself. I suppose my metal grater for shredding cheese would have worked for that - because the alternative of using a hammer seemed rather unsanitary.

(Some chefs reading this may wonder why I didn't buy pumpkin pie spice, instead of the expensive alternatives. I didn't know I had that option until I read the fine print on the label Saturday night. Maybe Libby's has an outsourcing deal with India or the Caribbean.)

While the can of pumpkin was a free gift, I'm guessing this "Famous Pumpkin Pie" has cost me about ten dollars for all the ingredients. No wonder they call it famous - you'll remember it, staring at the unused jars of spices for years to come.

I should note I have NOT prepared the "Famous Pumpkin Pie" yet. My schedule's been a bit too busy lately to do that. When I do, I'll let you know how it turns out -- and whether I should stick with Famous Amos cookies in a bag.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A reader asks some good questions about the outlook for Muscogee County schools....

How is MCSD suppose to stay within the law of the ratio of teacher / student set by Gov.Perdue when all the army families arrive..They are now operating with enough portable classrooms to house a city and can't find more teachers. How can the federal gov't say,"sorry,you are on your own?" Yet it was the gov't who is sending more troops to Benning..

There's an easy answer for getting around the teacher-student ratio - but how many people are in favor of sending all the army families to Iran right now?

Muscogee County schools certainly will need more teachers, if more army families are coming. In fact, this could be the best time ever to be a Columbus Police officer - because a local bidding war could be brewing for your skills....

There's someone available in Alabama, who made it a goal to get rid of portable classrooms. Don Siegelman rode that issue to the Governor's mansion in 1999 - and he somehow found a way to do it, without the lottery he wanted so much. Maybe he can run a consulting business from federal prison, after his trial.

How, you ask, can the federal government tell Muscogee County schools they're on their own? Conservatives would say it's really simple. The word is spelled N-O.

There's another way to handle this looming problem of surplus students and tight budgets - but we'll hold that e-mail for another day. Let's check some weekend news headlines now:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 95 degrees F. - yet I was able to go outside at 9:00 p.m. and run more than three miles nonstop. It's not the heat, it's the sun reminding you of it....

+ The Talbot County town of Woodland was without running water for the second day in a row. If this keeps up, PBS will send a crew to turn it into a reality series - something like "This Old Southern House."

+ The Fuller Center held a fundraising event in Americus, and director Millard Fuller told WRBL some people donated their wedding rings to his cause. Wasn't this part of Fuller's problem in the first place - accusations that he was a bit too magnetic with the ladies?

+ Auburn University won the NCAA women's track title. One Auburn runner won a hurdle race when the first-place finisher was disqualified for "foot-dragging." Did that runner's mother do what my mother would have done for foot-dragging - and spank her when they got home?

+ Georgia Tech conquered College of Charleston, to advance to baseball's College World Series. But Georgia lost 15-6 in the super-regionals, as South Carolina hit five home runs in a row. Where's Kirsten Olesen when we need her - to proclaim "back to back to back to back to back jacks" ?!

+ Instant Message to all losing candidates in Russell County: If you don't pick up your road signs soon, I'll do it for you. Power Frisbee will need every bit of free publicity it can get....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.65 a gallon at Spectrum on U.S. 80 in west Phenix City....Oreo cookies two-for-one at Publix.... and Alabama Democrats offering prayers of thanksgiving, that atheist Jerry Darby lost the primary for Attorney General....

SCHEDULED MONDAY: You can't spell "pastored" without PTSD.... and more grumbling about Smiths Station voting....

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for 10 JUN 06: DIAMOND VISION

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

"Welcome back to Christian Poker Showdown, presented by St. Pauli Girl. We're here at the biggest of all big events, the Universal Series of Poker! Former tournament champ and standup comic Gabe Kaplan is alongside - and Gabe, we're down to two big names in this game: Jesus and Satan."

"You know, Richard, I still can't believe Jesus Christ is here in person playing poker."

"Well, maybe Christians aren't playing Rook the way they used to."

"And these guys have been yakking it up at the table. At least Satan has. Let's listen in on him now."

"If you think you're really the Son of God, you'd give me a bit of a break here."

"Why should I do that? You've been scamming people out of their houses and fortunes all week."

"They're called bluffs, my friend. And did you see how I knocked out that one guy last Tuesday with three sixes? Classic!"

"We're playing basic Texas Hold 'Em here. And thanks to our table cameras, we can see what they've been dealt. Satan has -- a king and queen of spades! 'Big slick' for Satan!"

"That describes him pretty well, if you ask me, Richard. He's not going to sit still with that."

"Indeed, Satan raises 2,500 right away."

"Now, we don't know what Jesus has. He hasn't picked up his cards yet -- but he's going to call that big bet!"

"It's poker -- so this might be blind faith by Jesus."

"That's pretty clever, pal. But maybe Jesus is giving Satan that break he asked for. Christ is playing with half His hand tied behind his back - which kind of makes him like Rush Limbaugh."

"I don't dare touch that one. Instead, we'll look at the flop - and it's a jack of diamonds, five of hearts, king of clubs. A pair of kings for Satan!"

"All he needs is one more, and he can sing to Jesus, 'We three kings of Orient are.'"

"Are the kings on those cards really Oriental? Anyway, Jesus politely checks."

"I'd think the devil is going to bet here. He'll try a temptation of Christ in some way."

"It probably won't be the last one, either. Satan shoves in another 5,000."

"He's being the aggressor, that's for sure - but Jesus calls him again."

"And He STILL hasn't looked at those cards, yet He's not backing down at all. Here comes the turn card - a ten of diamonds. That doesn't help Satan much."

"Well, wait a second, blog-face. He can go top or bottom now for a straight. This could simply feed the beast -- if you know what I mean."

"I'll bet 10,000."

"Satan's being a daredevil again!"

"Except he already IS the devil, Gabe. And Jesus calls AGAIN, not looking at His cards!"

"W.W.J.D. What in the world is Jesus doing?"

"Here comes the last card out, the river -- a QUEEN of diamonds. Satan doesn't get his straight, but he has two high pair!"

"Yet Jesus is the Prince of Peace - checking again on the river. Satan must be ready to jump out of his chair."

"I'm all in."

"Satan is ready to risk it all on this hand! And you have to admit, his hand is pretty good."

"More kings and queens than at a Taylor County prom. Listen:"

"What do you think of THAT, Jesus?"

"Tell you what, Satan. I'll raise you -- and put salvation for all humanity on the table."

"Wohhhhh! Look at that, Gabe! Now this is REALLY going all in!"

"The stakes don't get much higher than this, Richard. I can't wait to see what Jesus has been holding. In fact, HE can't wait to see it, either."

"Nor can a lot of people now. He flips them over - an ACE-KING of DIAMONDS!?!?! Jesus has a straight flush!!"

"How does that old song go, Richard? Bring forth the royal diamonds?"

"I think that's diadem, Gabe. But jaws are on the floor all over this room!"

"The King of Kings had an ace, besides. Let's go down to our birthday gal, at tableside."

"Lyanne Melendez here with Satan the devil - and Satan, what happened on that last hand?!?!"

"(CENSORED), that's what happened! I mean, I had Jesus nailed. I nailed him once before, you know."

"Yeah, but after three days, He broke away from THAT one, too!"

"You didn't have to bring that up, at a time like this...."

"So after such a humiliating defeat, what does the devil do now?"

"I think I'll go back down to Georgia - see if there are any other fiddle players I can pick on."

"And as for Jesus, guys - He seems to have disappeared in the crowd."

"Thanks, Lyanne - and you know, Richard, Satan might like the change of scenery. As they say down in Georgia, the devil deals the cards."

"Gabe, after seeing such an epic moment of truth, what can we learn from this?"

"It's pretty clear to me. Always have a six-second tape delay, when Satan's playing poker."

"I mean beyond that. What can other Christian poker players take away from this match?"

"There are all sorts of lessons, probably. Don't get too big a head, around the river - especially around Someone who promises rivers of life. It also shows straight is the way that leads to success. What did you learn?"

"It proves something I heard a church pastor say the other day. When it comes to saving human beings -- God is making diamonds."

"He's probably making hearts in the process, too."

"Yeah -- but I'd still be careful around those clubs."

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9 JUN 06: MUSEUM PIECES

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Our apologies for the late post today, a result of maintenance by our blog server.)

Thursday's schedule for Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue said he would attend a "groundbreaking" ceremony for the new National Infantry Museum. Sure enough, he showed up -- so will that qualify for another "Sonny Did" commercial?

But somehow this announcement didn't sound quite right. After all these years, they were finally breaking ground for the National Infantry Museum?! This place has had so many news conferences and announcements, it might as well be a new Tom Cruise movie....

Sure enough, some checking revealed the National Infantry Museum already HAD a groundbreaking ceremony. It happened 21 months ago [22 Sep 04]. Had all the retired infantry members developed Alzheimer's disease, and forgotten this?

It turns out the Infantry Museum's promoters had given Thursday's event a different name. It was a "construction ceremony" -- presumably meaning they're actually going to start building something. Maybe Fort Benning had a Habitat for Humanity chapter, to help with this....

News coverage of Thursday's ceremony on South Lumpkin Road didn't show much work had been done on the National Infantry Museum. There was a gravel road called "World War II Street" - which I have to say seemed pretty authentic for the period.

Then a group of dignitaries stepped out from a tent - and looked for all the world like they were breaking ground for a museum. Maybe this was an extra scene for the DVD version?!

But a big difference followed. The dignitaries set off explosive charges, and a bulldozer rolled through. So it was a really loud groundbreaking - but I still didn't notice any construction going on. A portable bridge over something would have been enough for me....

In fact, the first phase for the Infantry Museum will be more like destruction. A group of trees will be torn down, to make way for a parade ground. Between this plan and Fort Benning's controlled burns, the power of "Trees Columbus" seems to end around Victory Drive.

Does it seem strange to you that there was a 21-month gap between the groundbreaking ceremony and Thursday's event? After all, way back in September 2004 most people actually thought the intervention in Iraq was a good idea....

To be honest, long gaps between groundbreaking day and construction work seem to happen often in Columbus. Take Heritage Park at 7^th and Broadway -- which Uptown Columbus officials promised would take a year to build after its groundbreaking. They never mentioned the land would sit idle for a year, before work began.

Then there's Ben & Jerry's ice cream near Columbus Park Crossing. It was supposed to open back in January, but didn't until May. Promoters blamed it on the weather - and let's face it, people are more likely to eat ice cream when the weather's hot.

In the case of the National Infantry Foundation, retired Major General Jerry White says there's actually building the museum complex in stages. Phase I will have the parade ground for infantry ceremonies. The Coca-Cola Imax Theater might be phase II -- or should that be Coca-Cola phase zero?

Promoters say the new National Infantry Museum will take about two years to build. So maybe it will open in June 2008. Or then again, there may be a couple more dirt-turning event next year -- just to keep in practice.

So remember, you Kia watchers -- all that talk about a postponed groundbreaking ceremony in West Point really doesn't mean anything. They might as well send flower pots of dirt to the Hyundai chairman in that South Korean jail, and let him dig around in those.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A Smiths Station correspondent kept his own scorecard on Tuesday's Alabama primary:

Nice coverage on the Primary's from Both Channel 3 and 9

The 3 Polls in Smiths area had light turnout..comments have been made about City employees/council members working the Poll sites,,,was there an Offical day off - sick leave used? what gives - controlling everything ...Possibly . Is there nobody else to work at polls... no else cares...

Looks like a change with a school board member.

The Lucy and Bob show for the next 5 months..what will be dug up..Will "Lucy im Home again " be the theme or "Go play with your train Bob" be it....

Another Deadly accident on Lee Road 240 in lower Smiths area...Not a word from County commissioners on making it safer

What's the problem with having Smiths Station city employees handling elections? Would you prefer an outside team from the United Nations?

I'm not sure a change of one Lee County School Board member will make that big a difference. Look at Muscogee County's School Board - where after 18 months, I'm still waiting for Pastor Joseph Roberson to propose posting the Ten Commandments in classrooms.

So Columbus has a Jim-Bob race for mayor, and Alabama now has a Lucy-Bob race for Governor. Yet I still haven't heard any candidate talk about saving bobbin plants....

BIG PREDICTION: The N.B.A. Finals will be won by a team which plays home games at a site with "American Airlines" in its name.

While you think about that, we'll wrap up other notes from Thursday:

+ Georgia gubernatorial candidate Mark Taylor released a new commercial, in which.... he.... actually.... TALKS! We're glad after months of campaigning, he finally developed the courage to do this on television.

+ The prosecution rested its case in the Don Siegelman corruption trial. The former Alabama Governor says he wants to testify in his own defense - perhaps forgetting federal trials are NOT televised, so that campaign speech won't be heard, either.

+ Instant Message to the Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Phenix City: Aw, c'mon - 50 cents a donut in the bakery? I thought you were notorious for keeping prices low. Are the donuts now imported from China, too?

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: A poker game unlike any other.... and the perils of preparing pumpkin pie....

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8 JUN 06: HOW I'M SPENDING MY SUMMER VACATION

So what's all this talk about plans for Columbus to "go international?" Aren't two Chef Lee Chinese restaurants and a Mediterranean Café enough?

But seriously: the Columbus Chamber of Commerce announced plans Wednesday for an upcoming trip to Asia to seek new business. The itinerary does NOT include Beijing or Shanghai - so we'll have no talk about this being a "Chinese junket."

A delegation from the Columbus Chamber will leave Friday for Japan, Taiwan and South Korea. The top priority is to bring new companies to the city. If that fails, there's Plan B -- finding baseball prospects for the Catfish.

Did you notice Mayor Bob Poydasheff is going on the Chamber of Commerce trip - just as the budget debate approaches a final vote? The timing of this simply looks terrible. Next thing you know, the mayor will ask for a Council vote on the definition of marriage.

(Besides, it's an election year -- so Jim Wetherington's friends may have video cameras at the airport to send the Mayor off on the trip.)

I didn't realize until Wednesday that Japanese companies currently have $340 million invested in Columbus. The Chamber of Commerce did NOT explain how much remains, when you subtract insurance policies sold by AFLAC.

The two-week trip probably will include a stop in Kiryu, Japan. That's Columbus's official sister city. Maybe it will have some secrets for getting big crowds out to minor league baseball games.

The Columbus group will meet with the Taiwan Chamber of Commerce during its trip. The visitors had better get plenty of rest before this meeting -- because those Taiwanese can have "Taipei personalities."

Mayor Bob Poydasheff hopes to spend some time in Taiwan with executives from the parent company for Continental Carbon. His suitcase ought to look strange at the airport X-ray machine - carrying all those back porch boards covered with pollution....

Then there's the stop in South Korea - the country of Kia, and alleged corporate corruption. Chamber of Commerce officials say they're not concerned about possible wrongdoing by Hyundai. As long as Fort Benning isn't telling soldiers to avoid buying Sonatas, it's OK.

The Chamber of Commerce delegates admit one of their goals is to attract technology companies to Columbus -- businesses making things such as cell phones and flat-screen televisions. If they can pull this off, Best Buy may have to change its name to "Pretty Good Buy."

BLOG CORRECTION: Two Alabama political offices which we suggested were settled Wednesday actually are not. State Senate candidate Kim Benefield and Russell County Coroner contender "Pee Wee" Sumbry will face Republican opponents in November. The G.O.P. candidates were so quiet, I thought it was old-fashioned Alabama politics - and they didn't exist.

By the way, Pee Wee Sumbry's big primary win means no coroner job for Mark Godwin. That'll teach his supporters to wave signs in his behalf at a Columbus Catfish game this week - since for one thing, Golden Park is on the Georgia side of the river.

Did you hear about the strange primary story in Barbour County? The Sheriff says two voting machines were taken from a rural community center - BEFORE the Tuesday vote. I'd think there are easier ways to practice with sample ballots than this....

Now for other quick thoughts from a fast-moving Wednesday:

+ The NBC Nightly News visited Fort Benning, to ask soldiers about reports that a computer disk with their personal records had disappeared near Washington. But where did reporter Mark Potter find a Waffle House with soldiers? Victory Drive may be the only interstate exit in the South without one.

+ The Georgia Association of Educators endorsed Mark Taylor for Governor, and declared it an easy choice. Apparently the teachers don't trust Cathy Cox, no matter how she spells her first name.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue warned the level of West Point Lake is approaching a historic low. He blames the Army Corps of Engineers for drawing down the lake, to protect endangered mussels in Florida. Yeah, but shouldn't it be easier to catch fish around here these days?

+ Auburn University trustee Bobby Lowder donated one million dollars to the College of Veterinary Sciences. What's he trying to do now - get the rodeo coach fired?

+ The Columbus Catfish stopped Savannah 3-0. In fact, pitcher Cory Wade stopped Savannah - getting 26 outs in a row, after a first-inning double. Is that why Wade Cleaners has a billboard on the Golden Park wall these days? [True!]

+ Instant Message to WALB-TV in Albany: Did I hear it right - you had EIGHT cameras on hand for the blowing up of that television tower Wednesday night? I sincerely hope you sent as many cameras to the funerals of those four Army soldiers, since their deaths led to that....

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: A second opinion on how the Alabama Primary went....

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7 JUN 06: NOT ANY MOORE

Who possibly could have guessed it? Who could have written a script this way?! A well-known Bible-backing candidate for Alabama Governor lost Tuesday - and on the day of "triple six" at that....

Former Chief Justice Roy Moore lost by a wide margin to Governor Bob Riley in the Republican primary. This may baffle some Christians, who figured God would give victory to believers who took moral stands. But then again, maybe God wanted Moore to run for Congress.

Governor Bob Riley told supporters he's ending a "culture of corruption in Montgomery, Alabama." From the campaign ads I saw, it apparently has moved to Chambers County - with all the lobbyists and lawyers feuding there.

Bob Riley will face Lieutenant Governor Lucy Baxley in November. Baxley had a comfortable lead over former Governor Don Siegelman - which will allow him to pay more time to something a bit more important: staying out of federal prison.

Don Siegelman cast a vote in suburban Birmingham, then hurried back to his federal corruption trial in Montgomery. You'd think he would have cast an absentee ballot - but maybe he never expected prosecutors to have six weeks' worth of evidence against him.

Lucy Baxley's campaign for Governor is unusual in several ways. For one thing, she's a remarried divorcee - and her first husband is campaigning FOR her! I'm not sure Tom Cruise ever did this, when Nicole Kidman was nominated for Oscars.

Then there's the Libertarian candidate for Governor. Loretta Nall submitted petitions with more than 10,000 signatures Tuesday to get on the November ballot. But she needed more than 40,000, so she'll have to be a write-in. Maybe that's why her party selected a Nall, and not a Grabarkewicz or something....

Did you see how well Larry Darby did, in the Democratic primary for Alabama Attorney General? He was getting about 47 percent of the vote at our post time. Was this a big pro-atheist, anti-Jew vote - or a big "tell Al Sharpton to mind his own business" vote?

If Larry Darby should win the Democratic nomination for Attorney General, wouldn't that be the kiss of death for the party's entire statewide ticket in November? All the Republicans would have to do is show his picture, with flames like hell-fire in the background....

The most lopsided vote of the night in Alabama was for Amendment One - the constitutional amendment defining marriage. The office pools can start today, on when a judge will declare it unconstitutional.

As for races in "OUR part of Alabama," the big showdown was between Democrats for State Senate District 13. Kim Benefeld unseated incumbent Gerald Dial - and we'd suggest both candidates use Dial, to remove all the grunge of that race from their reputations.

(So in the battle between big-money lawyers and fat-cat lobbyists, the lawyers won -- and you should never underestimate the people who shine shoes for a living in Smiths Station.)

The biggest surprise of the night almost happened in another State Senate race. Russell County Commissioner Peggy Martin edged Thomas Saunders, thanks to the final precincts. Martin dreams of taking on incumbent Ted Little -- but she almost smacked into something big right in front of her.

In Russell County races, the coroner's job was won by "Pee Wee" Sumbry. We all hope he's prepared to take this job - so it doesn't turn into Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Alford Harden won the race for Russell County Probate Judge, to replace Al Howard. So how soon can be take office - and then move his office, to make room for all that security equipment?

Smiths Station High School had no long lines of voters Tuesday, compared to the general election of two years ago. The split into three polling places apparently worked - either that, or the voters really wanted to see someone run against Sheriff Jay Jones.

But the Loachapoka polling place had problems - as voting was delayed for an hour, because the equipment couldn't be set up properly. Hanging chads are one thing, but loose-hanging table legs can be downright dangerous.

You'll have to check other news outlets for final numbers, and whether we have to update any of these jokes on Thursday. Meanwhile, here's what else happened Tuesday....

+ Our best wishes to Columbus Councilor Red McDaniel, who's out of the hospital and recuperating after major surgery. The last thing we want to see is Red turning blue....

+ Columbus Council held a public hearing on the proposed budget. The President of the Firefighters Association appealed for full funding of public safety, telling WRBL: "When people call 911, they want to see a blue police car or a red fire truck." Now hold on -- I have nothing against those lime-green fire trucks.

(By the way: which city government employee wants to start the rumor that Red McDaniel became sick to protest the current salary plan? As silly as that rumor would be....)

+ Auburn University alumni answered phones, during the Georgia Public Broadcasting pledge drive. Every time I see this, I'm puzzled - because it's like Columbus State University and LaGrange College graduates don't watch public television at all.

+ Russell County High School pitcher Kasey Kiker was taken by Texas, in the first round of the baseball draft. Kiker boasted he actually started his day with a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit and some fishing - so he's already on the lookout for those endorsement deals.

+ Instant Message to whomever runs the new Zelmo's Zip-Up convenience stores: Do you have a mascot - maybe a Zickle-Me Zelmo?

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6 JUN 06: AM I TOUGH ENOUGH?

The results came in Monday on Georgia's state testing for students, and some of the numbers were not good. A large number of sixth-graders failed the math test - such a large number that if I tried to add it up, I might get the total wrong and set a bad example.

This year's C.R.C.T. exams showed 62 percent of Georgia's sixth-graders passed the math exam. Optimists would say the glass is still more than half-full. But pessimists would be looking at that slow leak bubbling from the bottom.

If the math results are not bad enough, the C.R.C.T. report also shows more than one-third of Georgia's sixth-graders and seventh-graders failed the science test. Maybe now the judges will allow warning labels about evolution on those textbooks....

A news release from the Georgia Department of Education called the results "the beginning of a new era for Georgia's public schools." I suppose it could be - if it means State School Superintendent Kathy Cox gets voted out of office.

The news release explained the "new era" by saying about half the C.R.C.T. tests this year used an old curriculum, while about half used a new and "more rigorous" test. Be forewarned - next school year, things may be tough all over.

Not all the news was depressing on the C.R.C.T. report. More than 80 percent of students in grades 1-8 passed the new and tougher reading test. If they hadn't, I can guess what would have been coming next - a news ticker on the Cartoon Network.

Georgia School Superintendent Kathy Cox says districts need to focus more on middle-school math and science. For instance, stare carefully at the fire from those Bunsen burners, before you use the extinguishers....

If Monday's report might help anyone politically, it's that OTHER Cathy Cox - the one who's running for Governor and making education her top issue. Since she bills herself as a Sunday School teacher, perhaps she can teach children there how to count to 12 apostles and Ten Commandments.

I haven't seen a local breakdown on the C.R.C.T. tests, but Rigdon Road Elementary School reports all its students passed the exam for the second year in a row. Last year that meant trips to Disney World and bicycles. This year - well, there's always that new Ben & Jerry's.

But really: Rigdon Road held a mock Academy Award ceremony for the students last week, to celebrate everyone passing the C.R.C.T.'s. There was a red carpet for them outside - but I don't know if there were expensive gift bags inside, offering certificates for a day at the spa.

Hours after the report came out, the Muscogee County School Board approved a preliminary budget Monday night for next fiscal year. It's up by about $25 million - which makes you wonder which gas station provides the diesel fuel for those buses.

School officials say utility costs are part of the reason for a bigger budget. But another reason is the new state requirement to reduce class sizes. It could mean adding 20 portable classrooms, hiring 40 new teachers -- and if all else fails, they might open the old Sears building for an assembly.

Muscogee County Superintendent "Papa John" Phillips told WRBL the state of Georgia shouldn't be ordering smaller classes without providing the money for them. So in this case, less costs more - which could qualify Starbucks to become a partner in education.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of math problems, "IsOurCitySafe" is following the city budget debate:

The councilors have known about the problem with pay compression, low pay, and low benefits for years. There have been lawsuits about it. Now they sure have a mess to fix. It's a shame when you have to embarrass people into doing their job and what's right. I really don't even think they are embarrassed, I just think they are trying to save their jobs during the election. I guess that's politics for ya!

Thanks,

Brent Rollins

And for so many years, I thought "pay compression" meant squeezing all your spending money into your wallet on payday.

The Columbus Council holds a public forum on the proposed city budget today. Now, now - let's not have all the law officers show up at once....

Another Columbus Council budget forum Monday brought a vote to add $2.4 million to the pay section. I'm not sure what part of the budget lost money for this. If you see jail inmates running the Zamboni at Cottonmouths games next winter, I guess we'll know.

Fraternal Order of Police President Randy Robertson suggested all available Columbus Councilors "lock themselves in a room until they have an agreement" on the budget. Now hold on a minute! First of all, I think Brent Rollins would oppose backroom politics -- not to mention the Open Meetings Law violation.

Now for other bits and pieces from Jefferson Davis Day in Alabama (for some reason, the Phenix City Post Office was open):

+ Tests taken in Atlanta showed the white powdery substance found on the second floor of the Government Center last week was NOT harmful. I hope the lab technicians enjoyed putting it on their lemon bars....

+ Uptown Columbus Inc. held the first in a series of public forums on the future of downtown. One concern was that limits should be placed on the loudness of music. I can see George del Gobbo now, telling the Columbus Symphony to watch an audio meter.

+ A billboard posted in downtown Phenix City announced the new Summit Hospital will open in August. Russell County men can avoid seeing the doctor for two more months - as if they weren't going to do this already....

+ Georgia beat Florida State 2-1 to win its NCAA regional baseball tournament. Georgia, Georgia Tech and Alabama all advance to this weekend's Super Regionals. Yeah, but how many Catholic colleges are left?

+ Instant Message to Georgia Lieutenant Governor candidate Greg Hecht: Let's see if I have this straight. You have a plan to fight high gas prices - and it involves my signing an online petition?! Do you realize those online campaigns to boycott Exxon haven't worked?!

COMING WEDNESDAY: Maybe not the best Alabama Primary coverage, but we'll try for the funniest....

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