14 MAR 11: Out With the Tide

When it comes to Southeastern Conference football, every game matters and the conference final in Atlanta is crucial. When it comes to Southeastern Conference basketball.... well, apparently it's very different. It looked Sunday night like the conference tournament at the Georgia Dome was as meaningful a sports event as Wrestlemania in three weeks.

Georgia was selected to the NCAA men's basketball tournament Sunday night, while Alabama was not. The Bulldogs were chosen even though the Crimson Tide beat them twice in the last nine days. You almost want to conclude the selection committee spent the last two weekends watching Charlie Sheen videos.

Alabama and Georgia had identical 21-11 records as of Sunday night. Alabama won the S.E.C. Western Division title, while Georgia finished tied for third in the East. Is this some sort of strange payback for the divisional imbalance of football season?

(On top of that, Alabama beat Southeastern Conference tournament champion Kentucky in mid-January. Injustices like this show why college basketball needs a tournament to determine the real.... oh wait....)

Alabama outlasted Georgia 65-59 in overtime, at the Southeastern Conference quarterfinals. A winning basket by Georgia at the end of regulation time was denied, because Bulldogs coach Mark Fox called a time out moments before the shot. So maybe the selection committee concluded the referees blew it.

Some so-called college basketball experts concluded Alabama's win over Georgia clinched the Crimson Tide's place in the national tournament. But they were wrong, as Georgia's #10 seed indicates the Bulldogs rated better than five other at-large teams. The "bracketologists" ought to go back to their old jobs, trying to fix the U.S. economy.

It may sting even more that Alabama-Birmingham and Alabama State are in the NCAA men's tournament, while the Crimson Tide are left out. They both face preliminary games Tuesday and Wednesday, in what's now being called "the First Four." In NASCAR that title would be a compliment - but this seems like exactly the opposite.

Georgia earns (at least in the selection committee's eyes) a trip to Charlotte for the NCAA tournament. Its first game will be Friday against Washington, with the winner likely to face North Carolina in the next round. Take the floor against Heels of Tar, and your playoff run may not go far.

People are complaining about the NCAA basketball selections all over the place -- even (giggle) on a special "hotline" for such things. This year instead of "My Bracket is Money," Alabama fans can say the overall bracket is meaningless.

At least Alabama was selected Sunday night as a top seed in the National Invitational Tournament. It will host Coastal Carolina Tuesday night -- and at this point, the Crimson Tide is in no position to be NIT-picky.

Meanwhile, the last coach to take an area team to the NCAA men's basketball finals was fired over the weekend. Paul Hewitt coached Georgia Tech for 11 years. Now the team will need a new coach to go with the new pavilion it plans to build - and we all know how well that worked this past season at Auburn.

And thank you, Charles Barkley - for predicting my beloved Kansas Jayhawks will win its second men's national title in four years! Does this mean I can be added to your "Fave Five" list?

Lest we forget: Columbus hosted its first-ever NCAA national championship event over the weekend. Kentucky won the team rifle title by holding off West Virginia - continuing a rivalry which I think goes back to the Hatfields and McCoys.

Columbus State had a national champion in individual air rifle last year, but there was no repeat in 2011. And even more shockingly, Army finished eighth out of eight rifle teams - behind Navy. Did the midshipmen bring bigger guns or something?

(Both Army and Navy lagged behind third-place Texas Christian. Yes, a "Christian" university finished high in team rifle - proving the story of young David hurling rocks hasn't been completely forgotten.)

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E-MAIL UPDATE: Our goal was to have an easy weekend of blogging, to make the transition to Daylight Time. But that disappointed one reader....

Aww Come On Richard

Are you going to avoid the four Auburn football players being arrested? I was waiting to see all of your famous puns pertaining to this situation. That Hurtsboro mess has more than mold and a rotten smell to it. Seriously, I enjoy your humorous remarks about the "goings on" in our area. Keep up the great work! Larry

This is why today's main topic involves college basketball. If I didn't bring it up, a lot of local sports fans would forget it exists.

But anyway: four Auburn University football players indeed were arrested on robbery charges. Police say three of them broke into a home, and one was armed with a handgun. Don't these football players realize you're supposed to "take it TO the house" - not from it?

Coach Gene Chizik dismissed all four suspects from the football team, after learning of their arrest. Even though they played on the BCS championship team, their names were off the online 2010 Auburn roster Sunday night. Being part of an off-season burglary ring probably won't get you a championship ring.

We're left to wonder why these Auburn football players might break into a home to rob it. Maybe we should send the blame to New York - because the stress of a pro football lockout may have been more than they could bear.

Speaking of colleges, here's a comment about the trimming of the HOPE scholarship program in Georgia:

Remember in college when we shelled out money for textbooks? Today books are so expensive..Last year I bought a small work book with detachable pages to be turned in..It cost me $80..I asked where the text was that went with it and I was assured what I had in my hand was $80..Now,the big thing is to rent text and turn them back in after the semester..Where were these people when we were in college?..Our $30 book could have been rented for $10..Now with inflation a $30 book is over $100..Oh,I forgot now it has colored pictures for those on HOPE who are taking remedial classes.The only comment I have heard about 9.7 GPA and over 1200 on SAT getting you the full HOPE is some schools will pad grades even more than they do now..

Wow - if schools are "padding" so much that students have grade point averages more than double a 4.0, Georgia's in serious trouble....

I made it through college with several "used books" sold at the campus bookstore. In fact, my bookshelf still has one with the "used" stamp on it - a media history book called "The Press and America" which cost me $12.75. The demise of the newspaper makes even that title seem quaint, more than 30 years later.

But I wonder if the rise of e-books and iPads will change the idea of textbooks completely. Skeptics of student ethics think it's happened already - with "Cliff Notes" being succeeded by Droid Doodles.

And speaking of books, one other e-mail invites us....

here's an upcoming book signing.

The Phenix City-Russell County Library will have several local authors on hand next Sunday afternoon. One woman has a children's book called "The Day the Ghost Turned Orange." Some Auburn fans simply can't keep their loyalties private, can they?

Let's quickly check the spectrum of other weekend news....

+ The Muscogee County Republican Party selected Seth Harp as its new chair. One of the new vice presidents is Jerry Luquire of the Georgia Christian Coalition - so don't expect this group to have any Sunday meetings for a while.

(Talk about strange bedfellows! Seth Harp led the fight in the Georgia legislature for local-option Sunday liquor sales in stores, while Jerry Luquire currently is leading the fight against it. At least Luquire isn't likely to attempt a coup by spiking Harp's coffee.)

+ Port Columbus held its annual "Riverblast" festival, complete with the firing of the Civil War cannon. Wow, did this fool me! I heard an explosion at Benning Park and thought the final standing section of the old Baker High School was crumbling to the ground.

+ A luncheon marked the 104^th birthday of Phenix City's Wilma Whiddon. She actually was born in Girard, which is now part of Phenix City - and she's lived long enough to see some people wish Phenix City would become part of Columbus.

+ The Columbus Lions played a pre-season indoor football game, knocking off North Georgia 63-20. The defending champions may get an extra look from N.F.L. scouts this spring. It doesn't take much to turn an RB into an R.P. - from running back to replacement player.

+ Instant Message to Mister T's Tax Service and Thrift Store on 12^th Avenue: I'm tempted to stop right there and declare the jokes concluded for the day. But I saw your sign outside, and admit that's a different approach - to "e-file now" on "metal bunk beds."

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

13 MAR 11: Talking Trash

If you're reading this after 3:00 a.m. Sunday, check your clocks. Are you on Daylight Saving Time? This is one weekend when even conservatives should follow the advice of MSNBC. "Lean forward" -- at least in time.

SUNDAY SOAPBOX: From what I saw a few years ago, Hurtsboro appears to operate on Eastern Time. But the Russell County town sometimes seems like a step back in time. An e-mail we received last Sunday night reminded us of that....

Sir Richard:

I apologize for not contributing to your "Sunday Soap Box But to be real honest I'm pretty much down in the dumps.

My only consolation - everyone else in "Hurt'sboro is down in the dumps too. In fact, they are far worse off; than I am.

Long ago when garbage pick-up became a problem, I notified the Mayor that I would dispose of my own garbage. He huffed and puffed and threatened to blow my house down but it was to no avail. I made routine trips to the landfill and while others had problems - I had none.

Well! Last Tuesday, Big Bertha, our ersatz garbage truck coughed and died enroute to the landfill. The poor old girl made it as far as Opelika and like grandfather's clock "stopped short never to run again." The astute driver called a tow truck ($395.00 towing bill) and "Big Bertha" was brought home to lie in state.

Now the plot really thickens - none of our shade tree mechanics are expert enough to revive the old girl, and the Town doesn't have enough cash to pay for an expert mechanic or the parts that are needed if such a person can be found.

Perhaps the best solution is to just let "Big Bertha" lie in state at Tapley's funeral home, (it's right next to Town Hall) until it can be interred with its brother on North River Street.

Our new Sheriff has given a far more significant meaning to law and order in "Hurt'sboro, and now that Big Bertha has passed on - perhaps the County can step in and provide regular disposal of our garbage. I certainly hope so, and I'm certain that there are others that agree with me on this matter.

R.J. Schweiger

When it comes to garbage, Hurtsboro is small enough to be a one-truck town. But you'd think it's far enough away from the Chattahoochee River to have a landfill of its own.

Longtime blog readers will recall Hurtsboro has had trash troubles before. Garbage sat uncollected for more than a week on two occasions in 2007 [6 Jul 07] - but only one case involved the lack of an operating trash truck. The other was due to the lack of a qualified truck driver. Perhaps a former Columbus prison inmate found work there.

Reports like this from Robert Schweiger pose a problem for me these days. As I wrote him about another Hurtsboro "scoop" recently, I'm currently involved in a project which makes it impossible for me to phone Hurtsboro Town Hall during office hours. Considering Schweiger later e-mailed me to admit his "scoop" was in error, I hope he's ready to recommend a good attorney about this one.

It doesn't help my cause when most of the Hurtsboro city officials have unlisted numbers - and the one Councilor who's in the phone book never has returned my messages. Perhaps Charlie Tolbert thinks if everyone keeps quiet, the media will go away. But that simply allows Russell County Sheriff Heath Taylor to keep showing up for news conferences.

But then I remembered the Hurtsboro Town Clerk had sent this blog an e-mail several months ago. So I sent a message to her this past week, asking if the trash truck tale was true. The reply was surprising on several fronts....

Sorry, I can't comment because I no longer work the Town of Hurtsboro. Please delete me from your e-mail listing. I do not want to discuss Town of Hurtsboro with anyone because I feel there are to many corrupt citizens in Hurtsboro and I chose not to have anything to do with them anymore. I'm a single parent trying to survive and go to school. My opinion: The Mayor of Hurtsboro took on a debt, just as our president has, and they have no magic wand to overcome the debt in one week. I feel very sorry for them both. People in Hurtsboro have become unsupportive of Hurtsboro and their administration because of their color. The whites can't say much because during their time, I'm pretty sure things were stolen. And I'm working on my own little thing with a wonderful citizen, proving that HE impersonated being a constable. I have proof and will see to it that things are delt with. My job, when at town hall, has nothing to do with the person that I am. And you DO NOT GO to my second job and try to get me fired. THAT person in particular has messed with the wrong person!! Again, thank you! Have a Blessed Day!!

Kim

Ouch! I might as well have written Alabama Natural Gas, because this response was a bit scalding....

I don't plan to probe any deeper into what Kim Key is doing these days. But Russell County grand juries have convened several times since Mayor Rayford Tapley took office in 2009. The only indictment concerning Hurtsboro has come down against Tapley, and his arrest was dismissed by a judge [2 Dec 09]. It's a bit like Alabama fans bragging they scored first on Auburn last November.

After reading all this, I couldn't resist checking the 2010 Census data for Hurtsboro Saturday night. It shows a population of 553 - down 39 people from 2000. Wouldn't it be great to do "exit interviews" with those people, to learn if more of them left because of the mayor or the constable?

The Census data also shows Hurtsboro is two-thirds African-American. Robert Schweiger is Caucasian, but I can't recall him ever bringing up skin color in his years of e-mails to this blog. Does being an equal opportunity gossip-monger justify what he does?

Since we've brought up some old Hurtsboro business here, I'm told Robert Schweiger still hasn't completely paid a penalty to a former Hurtsboro resident - and has written checks in five-dollar increments for years. If voters had elected Schweiger to the Russell County Commission in 2008, his days of living on a "fixed income" would have been over.

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 MAR 11: Tony's Reward

It was mid-afternoon Thursday when I learned about the plea bargain in the "Rec-Gate" case. I read Tony Adams and Herman Porter had pleaded guilty, and one thought immediately came to mind. Did Edward DuBose know about this - and how could he possibly let this happen?

Former Columbus Parks and Recreation Director Tony Adams pleaded guilty Thursday to two felony counts of "conspiracy to defraud." Violations such as this only make the conspiracy theorists feel more like know-it-alls.

Parks Department colleague Herman Porter pleaded guilty to three charges of misdemeanor theft. He was accused with Tony Adams of diverting city money from the Georgia Blazers AAU basketball team into a private bank account. Send too much money downstream, and you might eventually head up the river.

A third guilty plea was entered Thursday by William Fox of East Marietta Basketball. Prosecutors claimed Fox paid kickbacks to Tony Adams and Herman Porter from referee fees for local basketball tournaments. This claimed probably stunned a lot of sports fans - who think referees receive the kickbacks to play favorites.

But Muscogee County Judge John Allen did NOT sentence the three men to jail. Under the plea bargain, all received at least three years of probation. Tony Adams also must perform 50 hours of community service - which means he can take his coaching expertise to the Columbus Lady Wings this spring and summer.

The Ledger-Enquirer reported there were tense moments in the courtroom, as the plea bargain became final. Prosecutor Alonza Whitaker warned Tony Adams's attorney at one point a trial would go forward if a deal could not be reached. And you thought Georgia Blazers games were the only times when adults engaged in trash-talking.

But outside the courtroom, Alonza Whitaker suggested prosecutors wanted a settlement. He said most of the money diverted to the Georgia Blazers account actually was spent on young athletes. So the three suspects apparently were a bit more ethical than Cam Newton's father....

Alonza Whitaker also expressed concern about the impact a Parks and Recreation trial might have on Columbus. The prosecutor noted some people thought the case had racial motives. And what do you know - an African-American prosecutor and an African-American judge made that Caucasian guy from Marietta pay.

Attorneys on both sides seemed to agree Tony Adams and Herman Porter desired to help young basketball players - but they came up with an illegal way to do it. So it's back to bake sales outside the front door at Winn-Dixie....

Defense attorney Shaevon Thomas told WRBL the "Rec-Gate" plot was "one of those Robin Hood kind of things." But from what I could tell, the Georgia Blazers never received any donations from the Bradley-Turner Foundation.

Buried at the bottom of the newspaper story was a detail I never knew. The city auditor told Tony Adams about what he found in Columbus Parks and Recreation last March -- two months before the audit was given to the mayor. No wonder Adams's attorneys submitted a quick reply to it, when the mayor demanded one. It was like a basketball player waiting at the other basket all the time.

So as the "Rec-Gate" scandal is confirmed as a scandal and the smoke clears, where is the Georgia Blazers basketball team? Out of business, apparently. Its web site hasn't been updated since last June -- as if the players boarded the same team bus to nowhere as the Columbus Life.

And there's one key piece of unfinished business from the Parks and Recreation audit. Where is the commitment from the new Columbus Council to add shuffleboard courts at recreation centers? Older people should have the privilege of sliding toward the end of life....

More scoops about hoops caught our attention Thursday....

+ We confirmed Piggly Wiggly will NOT bring back the "My Bracket is Money" contest, based on the NCAA men's basketball tournament. You'll recall this blog came close to winning a $1,000 shopping spree last spring. Now I'll have to take on basketball addicts across the country - including the people who actually paid attention to those games in early December.

+ The Harlem Globetrotters played/performed at the Columbus Civic Center. The Howard Johnson's motel welcomed the team by offering a "Globetrotters big fan" room rate of 50 dollars. Aw, c'mon - who follows the Globetrotters around, like they're the Grateful Dead? Well, other than the Washington Generals....

+ The Southeastern Conference men's basketball tournament began in Atlanta, with Georgia eliminating Auburn 69-51. The Tigers finished a season so dreadful that a few fans might give "Al from Dadeville" the home address of Coach Tony Barbee.

+ Russell County Sheriff's officers told WTVM the McDonald's restaurant in Ladonia may be closed for months. Wednesday night's damage apparently started with a grease fire. Grease? At a McDonald's?!?! What a shocking theory....

(People were in the restaurant when the fire started, but they escaped quickly -- proving you can move fast, despite eating fast food.)

+ The Georgia Legislature gave final passage to a bill shrinking the HOPE scholarship program. College students will have to return to purchasing their own textbooks - or enjoying the thrill of buying a "used book," only to discover the last student marked it in all the wrong places.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Has something (or someone) stopped working in Hurtsboro?....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 MAR 11: From a Different Angle

Plenty of studies indicate U.S. schoolchildren lag behind students in other countries -- and have for several decades. Yet before be wring our hands about this, remember something. Young U.S. minds have given us some of the greatest ideas of the last 20 years. Like Google. Like the iPhone. Like "Real Housewives of Atlanta."

The Georgia Board of Education is at a crossroads, when it comes to improving mathematics scores. Should it stick to traditional methods, or press forward with a more modern approach? You know - modern story problems which say, "John has three Android phones. If a hacker takes one down...."

Superintendent Susan Andrews told GPB News Wednesday most Muscogee County high school math teachers want to return to a more traditional approach. Andrews called it a "discreet" approach - which apparently leaves the less discreet high school stuff for dance teams and "Glee" wanna-bes.

What's the difference all about? Seven years ago the Georgia Board of Education required public high schools to combine algebra, geometry and trigonometry in a single one-year class. I wouldn't be surprised if some students referred to it as "P-90-degree-X."

But some parents say the "math combo deal" has led to teenagers failing final exams for math competency. And some teachers apparently have complained they didn't receive enough training in the concept -- as if they simply couldn't talk a little faster in each section.

Maybe the three-in-one combination was designed to keep high school students from becoming uninterested in math. We don't want teenagers to become.... well, you know.... bored of education.

Then again, the Georgia Board of Education could have marketed this concept better. In an era when attention deficit disorder is a problem, schools could have promoted it as a "faster A.D.D."

Because of the criticism, the state school board could vote next Monday to allow schools the option of returning to separate algebra, geometry and trigonometry classes. But I can hear the complaints from civil rights groups now - saying Republicans are moving Georgia away from school "integration" again.

The math courses were separate during my high school years. In fact, I had two years of algebra in junior high school before taking a year of high school geometry. The high school math teacher impressed the guys most - because he had a second job as a bartender and drove a Cadillac. [True!]

(That geometry teacher gave us memorable advice about abbreviating sections of shapes. You could write "ASA" for angle-side-angle - but you should never write the shorthand for angle-side-side.)

From what I read online Wednesday night, it appears the return to traditional math will stop at separating those three courses. Georgia will NOT go all the way back to the stone age - by barring students from bringing pocket calculators into school buildings.

I heard a church pastor say recently it's easier than ever for students to cheat on exams of all sorts. All they have to do is write the key information into a Blackberry or iPhone. This is why more teenagers need to go to church -- because they might learn a secret to higher test scores.

Let's take our own version of a "final exam" to Wednesday's other news:

+ A strong storm dropped around 1.5 inches of rain on Columbus, leading to flash flooding at predictable places. Fifth Avenue in the downtown area floods so often, Gateway Mitsubishi ought to make "flood damage sales" an annual event.

+ The threat of rain moved my exercise time to Peachtree Mall. As I walked (two laps in 22:26.09), I passed what looked like a hastily-arranged fashion show near Macy*s - and as two youngsters were introduced to the audience, the younger one declared: "I want my mother." How many exasperated Miss Georgia contestants have done the same thing backstage?

+ WTVM reported a late-night fire erupted at the McDonald's restaurant in Ladonia. That restaurant doubles as a convenience store - so I hope this isn't a case of someone getting upset with two sources of different kinds of gas.

+ Columbus Police admitted to WRBL several people have filed complaints about officers "texting and driving." So? If they have hand-eye coordination steady enough to pass tests at the police firing range, driving with nine fingers ought to be a breeze.

+ The University of Alabama had its version of "Pro Day" for football scouts. But receiver Julio Jones showed up in crutches and didn't take part in drills, because he injured his foot at the February "combine" in Indianapolis. I really don't think N.F.L. teams would want Jones to drop-kick field goals, after catching passes.

+ Instant Message to GPB, where this all began: Aha! I wondered why Big Bird and Elmo never had "tea parties" on Sesame Street. Now we may have the answer....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 MAR 11: Panhandle Western

For several years we've kept a count and record here, of all the beggars who ask us for help. The number slowly has declined over the last couple of years, even with the Great Recession. Either our economy really is better than the rest of the U.S., or I don't get out as much as I once did.

The Columbus city code doesn't call them beggars. They've officially been "tramps" for decades - but that soon could change. Columbus Council began discussing a change in the law Tuesday, which would redefine them as "panhandlers." As if any of them walk around carrying pans anymore....

(It reminds me of an old TV commercial jingle. "How do you empty a heaping pan? A panhandler....")

We told you last November about a young man's campaign to end the city ban on being a tramp [8 Nov 10]. Nathan Heald took petitions to Councilor Jerry Barnes, who turned the idea into a proposed ordinance with plenty of rules. Barnes surprisingly did NOT require all panhandlers to be screened for diabetes at fire stations.

After watching the Tuesday night news, I was confused about where Uptown Columbus stands on this idea. The business group's Richard Bishop told WXTX the city needs rules regulating panhandling. Yet WRBL reported Bishop persuaded Columbus Council to postpone debate two weeks, because the proposal would make panhandling legal. Maybe he wants rules putting all the beggars in Phenix City.

Richard Bishop says the panhandling proposal needs "more research." That's strange, since the Cunningham Center at Columbus State University released a report last year indicating 1,500 people are homeless in Columbus every day [29 Dec 10]. If you put them all in the Northside Recreation Center, the Lady Wings at least would have a home crowd.

We should note the proposal does NOT prohibit begging for money. It bans "aggressive panhandling." People who simply stand on the corner holding "will work for food" signs apparently would be allowed -- and give the people selling Sunday editions of the Ledger-Enquirer unusual competition.

Councilor Jerry Barnes explains requesting money would be one thing. But continuing to ask or using abusive language after someone says no would be considered "aggressive" and illegal. Hmmmm - can we expand this proposal to include telemarketers?

As we said, the panhandling proposal includes several other nit-picky restrictions. For instance....

+ Begging would be allowed only between sunrise and sunset -- putting panhandlers on the level of small-town AM radio stations.

+ Begging would be banned within 20 feet of an automated teller machine. This could lead to NCR's biggest production spurt yet.

+ Panhandling in groups of two or more would be illegal. We don't want people confusing beggars with Jehovah's Witnesses.

+ Bus stops and the METRA transfer station would be off limits. Instead of free Wi-Fi, you'd be free of wild lies.

P.S. I have yet to meet my first beggar/panhandler/tramp of 2011. Maybe they're all in Atlanta, lobbying to keep full funding of the HOPE scholarship.

-> A recent poker night had a sad interruption. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A man and woman are talking in an office about one of Tuesday's big events.

"Today is International Women's Day," the man says. "So why isn't there an International Men's Day?"

The woman has an easy answer for this. "Every day is men's day."

Here's what else came to our attention on the women's big day....

+ Gas prices kept inching higher in Columbus, reaching $3.49 a gallon in some locations. The Money Back at "Fourth and Fourth" still showed $3.34. But all the pumps appeared to be shut down, which probably means the cans of chili inside the store were even more overpriced than usual.

+ The Georgia Senate approved a bill allowing the clear-cutting of trees so billboards can be seen. Trees Columbus warned the other day this proposal would force the Veterans Parkway Streetscape project to be scrapped south of Ninth Street. Maybe that's why Sen. Josh McKoon voted against the bill -- to give the rundown-looking Spencer House as much natural cover as possible.

+ Auburn University had "Pro Day" for football scouts, with potential draft picks such as Cam Newton on display. Trouble is, the National Football League owners still could lock out the players - and none of the drills Tuesday involved climbing fences to get inside training sites.

(The grounds crew at Jordan-Hare Stadium painted the words "national champion" on the field for Pro Day. This is simply inviting a Terrell Owens moment next season - with opposing players jumping up and down to trample it after a touchdown.)

+ Instant Message to the Columbus city government webmaster: Wow - that old picture of the mayor and council on the "agenda" page I spotted last month is gone [9 Feb]. It's nice to see this blog is still getting results....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 MAR 11: Paying Up and Up

As of Monday night, it was all over for another year. Well, maybe. I thought it was over last year, yet follow-up letters kept coming. And before you get wrong ideas.... I am NOT talking about donations to the local Tea Party chapter.

What happened Monday night was the writing of a check and the stuffing of an envelope, to finish my income tax work for 2010. Yes, I still put my return in an envelope and mail it. The U.S. Postal Service needs every 44-cent donation it can get these days....

I heard somewhere recently only ten percent of U.S. taxpayers still fill out income tax forms themselves - with pen touching paper. That means no filing online, and no trip to a tax preparation service. If more people did it that way, the federal and state budgets might be a lot closer to being balanced.

Count me among that old-fashioned "do it yourself" ten percent. I save the cost of a tax preparer (although some services offer that work for free). I don't risk online hackers stealing vital personal information. And I follow the example of my late mother, who did the books for the family business -- so she knew when an ex-husband missed an alimony payment.

While some may consider income tax time a bother and a chore, I consider it a large-scale math problem. It's my annual test of whether I can still do addition, subtraction and multiplication without a calculator - not to mention whether I can find all the papers from 2010 to prove I didn't make up anything.

The Georgia tax form is the last one to go again this year -- because again this year, I owe the state. My income wasn't that great, but you only need $100 in income to owe Georgia tax. Then the state has the gumption to ask on the return for donations to eight separate state funds....

I could have waited until mid-April to write the check and settle my income taxes. But I'm paying now because I have the money now. A lot can happen in the next six weeks which could ruin my bank account. Hopefully people on both sides in Libya paid attention to that last sentence.

So why do I say "maybe" when I talk about filing income taxes? Because last year, the Internal Revenue Service sent me a notice after I mailed my federal return claiming I misfigured my adjusted gross income. A $999 error is gross, indeed....

It turned out the I.R.S. had made the mistake - because the tax reviewer thought I had a capital gain, when I really had a loss and marked it in parenthesis. A chat with the I.R.S. by phone straightened out the matter. But it also brought a strong suggestion that I change to "e-filing." That's "e" as in error-free?!

The federal tax return this year reminded me why I always fill out one form in pencil, then set it aside for a few days before doing the "official" Form 1040 in pen. A line was added noting "earned income credit" payments had been deducted in advance. Sorting that out reduced my federal tax refund by 90 percent -- and made me thankful I've missed those furniture liquidation sales.

The way Georgia lawmakers are acting, everyone soon may have to pay higher taxes in one way or another. Monday's news mentioned a proposal to increase the state cigarette tax from 37 cents per pack to 68 cents. Maybe this explains the action by that "gumball bandit" last year - he was looking for an alternative to smoking.

Maybe there's also a new tax on making news, because Monday didn't offer much to discuss....

+ The annual "Collegiate Challenge" began in Columbus, with college students from across the country building Habitat for Humanity homes. It's nice to see a few students resisted this year's trend to keep driving all the way to Florida.

+ Chambers County Sheriff's officers told the Ledger-Enquirer two women were arrested for "permitting livestock to run at large." Aw, c'mon - in parts of Spain, that would be an international tourist attraction.

+ The Georgia Supreme Court ruled 6-1 the current "Voter ID" law is constitutional. That means you need to show a photo identification when you vote - even if the poll workers laugh under their breath at the picture on your driver's license.

+ Kennesaw State University fired men's basketball coach Tony Ingle and all his assistants. The team that surprised Georgia Tech in December won only eight games all season, lost a scholarship due to players not making good grades - and may have wished it was playing Columbus State again in Division II.

+ Instant Message to Warner Brothers Television: Is it too early for me to file an application to replace Charlie Sheen? I'd enjoy being around those attractive women. And my attitude is a lot closer to a paper airplane than an F-18.

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 902 (+ 23, 2.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 MAR 11: Can You Read the Signs?

You may be old enough to remember when there was a fuss about the U.S. adopting "international" traffic signs. Thinking back over the decades, the critics who preferred "No Right Turn" signs in plain English may have had a point. Haven't reading scores been dropping?

But some signs have gone up in a Columbus neighborhood which probably would baffle the most seasoned world travelers. Drive through the Historic District at a normal speed, and they can't possibly figure out what the signs mean. Even a visitor from Greece would say it's Greek to them....

If you stop your car to examine the signs, they still might not make sense for a moment. There's a drawing of two cars, and a sidewalk perpendicular to the cars. Is it an indication Columbus drivers are number one?

You'd have to follow Columbus news closely over the past few months to understand what this is about. The signs are the city's way of explaining new parking rules in the Historic District. They're not really aimed at cars on the street, but in driveways. We wouldn't dare do anything to disrupt the tight messy noon-hour around Minnie's Restaurant on Eighth Street.

The city of Columbus wants Historic District residents to get out of the habit of parking in front yards. The drawings illustrate what drivers are supposed to do - line up cars in driveways, and not block sidewalks while they're at it. If you want to park in 20 different directions, go to a shopping mall in mid-December.

These signs are a step toward neatness in the Historic District -- but it hasn't come without some grumbling. A few residents told the TV news old homes don't have driveways for cars, so they have to park on the lawn. Besides, frozen foods thaw rapidly during a Columbus summer -- not to mention what happens to cold six-packs.

But supporters of the new rules probably would say they make the Historic District look nicer. For one thing, grass actually might grow below the spot where a car is parked.

I haven't noticed Columbus police enforcing these new Historic District rules yet. In fact, I haven't noticed much change at all -- except for the green and white signs posted in every block. Thankfully, no collisions have occurred from drivers slowing down to make sense of them.

This isn't supposed to be an issue where I live, because the complex has off-street parking and a rear driveway. Yet that doesn't stop some people from driving onto the lawn, anyway. Perhaps they deliver things at the front door because a knock at the back door would be considered a sign of burglars.

The last time parking was restricted in the Historic District, part of Fifth Street was posted as off-limits on Sundays. Those signs are doing their job, as parking cars no longer clog the front of Fourth Street Baptist Church before and after services. Travel once was tighter than a newcomer's wallet during offering time.

Now let's cruise through a relatively quiet Sunday in the news neighborhood....

+ The annual Empty Bowl Brunch at Northside Recreation Center raised more than $5,500 for Feed the Valley. Columbus Parks and Recreation took a more front-and-center role in promoting this year's event. If we find out the money allocated for a Parks Director is going to a public relations consultant....

+ WRBL began playing five-second commercials warning of "Chaos April 1." It's apparently the launch of a new online video project by former WVRK-FM "Rock 103" host Chris Chaos. So please do NOT start rumors about radical Muslims taking over Spring Fling at South Commons.

+ The pairings for the Southeastern Conference men's basketball tournament were announced. Auburn will face Georgia in Thursday's first game at the Georgia Dome. If a few football players from both schools would volunteer as basketball walk-ons, the game actually might come close to a sellout.

+ The Aflac Racing team with Carl Edwards won the NASCAR race in Las Vegas. I can understand why Aflac would be thrilled about it - except Edwards and his crew wore the logo of the other team sponsor Sunday. The win looks greener when a lawn and garden product is on display in victory lane.

+ Instant Message to BP: OK, thank you. I know the Gulf Coast looks much better now. Please take the money you're spending on all those TV commercials, and go drill oil wells to bring down the price of gas.

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 879 (- 50, 5.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 MAR 11: Tip-Ins and Tiaras

Did you know March is Women's History Month? In fact, it doesn't seem fair to give women only one month. After all, women are responsible for practically all the famous names of history - simply by giving birth to them.

Women were in the spotlight at a couple of Columbus events Saturday. One featured local athletes. The other had attractive young women from across the state. You might be surprised to learn the mayor was at the first one....

Mayor Teresa Pike Tomlinson helped announce the establishment of a new semi-pro women's basketball team. The Columbus Lady Wings will play on Saturday nights, beginning in mid-May. Before you get ideas for a fan club, keep one thing in mind - the "Wingnuts" already has been claimed by a minor league baseball team in Kansas.

The Lady Wings will play in the Women's Blue Chip Basketball League. It wouldn't be fair to call it a "minor league" of the WNBA - especially when the league admits the pay for players is "little or none," and warns about possible contract scams. The old Columbus Riverdragons played in the "D League," but this sounds closer to D-minus.

(This league offers the possibility of a "Columbus versus Columbus" showdown, as there's also a team called the Columbus Hidden Gems in Ohio. But that would only happen if both teams reached the national playoffs - so I think the Christopher Columbus statue on the Riverwalk is safe from being wagered for now.)

The managers of the Lady Wings note almost every player on the 15-women roster is from the Columbus area. One coach told WXTX several players took part in Parks and Recreation programs. Uh-oh - I'm not sure it's good publicity to have Lady Wings player testifying as character witnesses at the trial of Tony Adams.

The Columbus Lady Wings have an office on Avondale Drive, and held Saturday's announcement at the Pop Austin Recreation Center. But the team will play its home games at Northside High School -- and this is a case where I'd think the location matters. Do that many Kendrick High School players commute from Green Island Hills?

The Columbus Lady Wings have a roster and a home floor, but clearly have things to work between now and mid-May. For one thing, the team's unofficial website has no schedule -- but it did have a "Countdown to Christmas" clock Saturday night. I suggest they sell some tickets for season one, before offering holiday gift packs for 2012.

Mayor Tomlinson promises the city will help promote the Lady Wings - but those of us with good memories fear this will be a hard team to sell. We remember the Riverdragons, which had a long winning streak at a nearly-empty Civic Center. And we remember the Columbus Life of the American Basketball Association - which turned into the Riverballers, and might as well have been swept down-river from there.

Besides, the Lady Wings will complete on spring and summer weekends with the defending champion Columbus Lions of arena football. If the National Football League has a work stoppage, the Lions suddenly might have Matt Ryan throwing touchdown passes to Tony Gonzalez.

The other Saturday event with plenty of women was much more traditional for Columbus. It was an orientation session for contestants in this year's Miss Georgia pageant. The meeting did NOT count in the actual scoring - otherwise the smell of so much hair spray in the same room might have been dangerous.

The evening news reported the judges in this year's Miss Georgia pageant will be announced today. Unless the phone rings today, I can tell you I was NOT selected as a judge again this year. Maybe if I offer to prepare promotional posters for the contestants....

-> A recent poker night had a sad interruption. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Wow, we never expected this - a Georgia House member e-mailing your blog, to admit he fouled up!

You probably noticed in the Ledger that I signed HB 401 (That was the first time I knew I had signed the billl). Unfortunately I did by mistake. There was another piece of Legislation laying next to it that I was suppose sign & I signed the wrong one. I guess next time I will be more careful.I never had any intention of signing HB 401. I apologize for the incorrect statement that I sent to you earlier.

Richard

That's Rep. Richard Smith -- who told us a few days ago he had NOT committed to the Presidential Electibility Assurance Act. His signature as a cosponsor was revealed in a Friday newspaper editorial. Now I'm wondering if Georgia lawmakers receive a vision plan as one of their benefits.

This also makes me wonder about the process state lawmakers follow to cosponsor bills. The way Richard Smith expresses it, I can see dozens of bills on a table at the State Capitol -- almost like signing get-well cards for church members in the hospital. Except at church, not signing a card would be considered a much bigger offense.

We had an interesting candidate for a Sunday Soapbox e-mail, but it requires some fact-checking first. So instead, let's check some other weekend headlines....

+ The Empire Building at 12^th Street and First Avenue officially was reopened for apartments and businesses, after a year of renovations. WLTZ's video showed Police Chief Ricky Boren in the crowd. Isn't that a little too close to the Public Safety Center for a separate precinct?

+ Auburn University revealed it lost $600,000 by making the trip to the Bowl Championship title game in Arizona. If this makes Cam Newton feel a little guilty about signing that big endorsement contract with UnderArmour.... well, maybe that's part of the plan.

+ Roundball Saturday Night (tm) saw Auburn's men lash Louisiana State 60-51. Coach Tony Barbee picked up an important recruiting tool with that win. He can tell high school players Auburn only has the second-worst team in the conference.

+ Instant Message to defense attorney Shevon Thomas: What did you mean when you told WRBL the potential Parks and Recreation trial "is not an attractive case"? Are you hinting Tony Adams and Herman Porter are guilty? Are you suggesting the prosecution evidence is weak? Or are you saying the lawyers aren't good-looking enough to allow Internet streaming of the trial?

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 929 (+ 40, 4.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 MAR 11: May or May Not?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Many politicians and candidates are looking ahead to the 2012 election. But what if it never happens? A recent e-mail to us brought up a possible reason why:

ARE YOU AWARE OF MAY 21 2011....??????

Yes, I'm aware of that date. It's 11 weeks from today -- and a few people in Columbus might have it circled on their calendar. They're the ones who really care about NASCAR's all-star race or The Preakness for horses.

But a radio network with a station in Columbus insists 11 weeks from today is "Judgment Day" for this world, with God "rapturing" a large group of believers out of it. I knew there was something heavenly about two of my nieces getting married in late May, but not like this....

Family Radio President Harold Camping goes on to declare on 21 October, the world will cease to exist. If you're not taken away in May, you'll be doomed in October -- as if the thought of a pro football lockout in September wasn't bad enough already.

Family Radio and its supporters is promoting Judgment Day in a variety of ways. A fuss was made recently in metro Atlanta when billboards appeared about 21 May, with a website called "We Can Know." Who knows how many people thought another WikiLeaks scandal was coming?

We actually mentioned the Judgment Day dates here two years ago [22 Oct 09], along with a Columbus business owner doing his part to spread the warning. I called Elijah Johnson this past week, and he told me: "I'll be gone in three months." If you left a camera at his Mission Square repair shop, pick it up soon -- whether it's fixed or not.

(Family Radio has caravans going around the U.S. promoting Judgment Day. They've already made stops in Augusta and Savannah -- but Elijah Johnson does NOT think a stop is planned in Columbus. Maybe that's a sign that I've already given this warning too much attention.)

But there's one important fact Harold Camping and his supporters probably aren't telling people. He was wrong once before. Camping figured Jesus would come back in the fall of 1994, and said so on his nightly radio talk show. But if you'll recall, only two significant things disappeared that year -- the World Series, and a Democratic majority in Congress.

(I heard a Seventh-Day Adventist pastor say on radio Thursday night his ministry might offer Camping $100,000 to buy out Family Radio, if it's still in operation on Memorial Day. But Camping has dismissed such offers on his radio programs - since he hopes to be in a place where the dollar will be even more worthless than it is now.)

So Harold Camping has been wrong once -- yet now he says the Bible "guarantees" he'll be right on 21 May?! I studied part of one of his foundational books, and concluded his thinking is flawed. Camping's formula is complicated, so my analysis admittedly is not a quick read. You'll need a good bit of time, an open Bible -- and it would help to have an open mind, too.

Harold Camping is 89 years old -- and I personally hope he stays alive long enough to see 21 May. And the 22nd. And 23rd, which would be his next scheduled "Open Forum" talk show. If he's gone, I hope to be gone with him to wherever Jesus might take us. If Camping's still on earth, he'll need to call the Better Business Bureau -- because his version of the Bible clearly will be a scam.

But to be clear: I do NOT consider the Bible a scam. I'm a believer in the coming return of Jesus Christ -- whenever He's good and ready. Of course, Jesus already is good. The big question is whether I'm ready.

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 889 (- 146, 14.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 MAR 11: Jam-Full

This is going to make me look incredibly old-fashioned - but until Thursday night, I had never attended a rock concert. I even avoided the bands which came to my high school gym, to play at special assemblies during the school day. Why pull me out of a Sociology class to hear anti-social music?

The long run ended Thursday night when I went to the Columbus Civic Center for "Winter Jam." Of course, some people might contend I really didn't go to a rock concert -- since all the bands and artists were "contemporary Christian." And if you can't smell an aroma in the hall, it doesn't count in their eyes.

Winter Jam came to Columbus for the first time -- a tour offering ten musical acts for only ten dollars. For a cheapskate frugal-minded man like me, this was a no-brainer. Columbus would have more "ten for ten" specials - if only Kroger would put a store southeast of Opelika.

So I went to a concert of popular music Thursday night for the first time in 20 years. My last one was a performance by The Manhattan Transfer, while I was in Pensacola, Florida for a church convention. I went to Winter Jam on the theory I could understand the words to these songs as well.

I expected a big crowd at the Civic Center Thursday night, and I was right - with fans packing the main floor and filling at least three-fourths of the seats. I even spotted a couple of Baptist church buses in the parking lot. If those churches approve of young people listening to loud Christian bands, they might not be as conservative as you think.

But there were surprises at Winter Jam. The first came when I walked into the Civic Center lobby -- as the ten-dollar entry fee had to be in cash or check. I wanted to use a credit card, but the box office for those transactions was closed. This Christian music tour must take that Bible verse about "the borrower being a slave to the lender" seriously.

Surprise #2: I arrived at the listed starting time of 7:00 p.m., but the concert already was well underway. Winter Jam promoted a "pre-jam party," which I knew I would miss due to other commitments. But starting the official concert early?! Not even well-run Christian church services do that.

I found a seat inside the Columbus Civic Center as the band Red performed. The group has appeared on late-night TV talk shows in recent weeks, and plays with a driving rock sound accompanied at times by bursts of fire on the stage. Clearly the children of the group Simply Red are in a rebellious streak....

Red only put super-captions on video screens for one of the two songs I heard. And when the phrase "you're not alone" is misspelled over and over as "your not alone," it shows the band members majored in music or religion instead of English.

Several artists at Winter Jam talked about playing their music loud - and some of it was turned up so loud, the words were undistinguishable. I thought Christian performers wanted to put their message first. Instead, there were times when my attention was focused on whether the loud beats would give me a heart attack.

The veteran Valdosta-based band NewSong was one example of this. The group which created Winter Jam didn't caption any songs, and an "old school" tune introduced by lead singer Russ Lee was one I didn't recognize. Does that oldness explain why silver confetti was fired to the ceiling at the end of one song?

But Russ Lee gave the strongest affirmation of faith of the evening, saying: "Our world is confused.... My God is neither Democrat nor Republican." A large number of Republicans in the Georgia General Assembly might respond by calling Lee the confused one.

The noise level calmed down a bit when Francesca Battistelli came on stage. Her music is catchy "Christian pop" - and by wearing a dress with a wide green belt, she looked like she was auditioning for a Target commercial.

Francesca Battistelli's latest CD came out this week. She performed the first single from it, "This Is the Stuff" - playing the first verse on a ukulele. Young fans in the audience probably thought she borrowed a toy guitar from a Barbie doll.

The five-song set by Francesca Battistelli ended with her big Grammy-nominated hit, "Free to Be Me." I admittedly have theological problems with that song - because if a Christian really is "free to be me," what if they're prone to be liars?

Then it was time for a "ministry period" with a testimony by Tony Nolan. That was Surprise #3, as a 15-minute clock counted down on stage while he spoke. If your church has a long-winded preacher, this could be the answer you've waited to find.

As the sermonette ended, the David Crowder Band began - and won my vote for the best performance of the evening. The band performed five hand-clapping, easy-to-understand songs of praise and worship. But I couldn't help wondering if the musicians are growing beards until the Winter Jam tour ends in April.

The David Crowder Band had its start at Baylor University in Texas. That explains why it includes a violin player - because in the classic words of Alabama, "If you're gonna play in Texas, you've gotta have a fiddle in the band."

The fast-paced two-hour session ended with a presentation promoting orphan adoption. Then came intermission and the biggest surprise of all - as a man with pails came to me and asked for help collecting an offering later in the evening. Huh?! You charge ten dollars to get inside, then take an offering on top of it? Not in a city with a free Columbus Museum, you don't....

Besides, merchandise tables for the performers were set up in the Civic Center concourse. Not to mention official Winter Jam merchandise - including a "commemorative ticket" for five dollars. Since no tickets were handed out at the door, paying for one cost extra. It's a bit like daring Columbus Police to arrest you for speeding.

I left Winter Jam at the end of intermission before Kutless performed, because I faced a deadline for posting this entry. I concluded the tour means well, and several musicians perform very well. But Winter Jam clearly is aimed at a younger audience than I. The Civic Center was so filled with teens and young adults that Justin Bieber easily would have been lost in the crowd.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Only 78 days until.... well, what exactly?....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,035 (+ 33, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 MAR 11: Bel Error?

It looks like one political controversy in Phenix City is over - just in time for another to get going. That's probably about all the "scandals" a city Phenix City's size can handle at one time. Columbus is big enough for two at a time, but one of them tends to be suppressed by city officials.

The Alabama Ethics Commission revealed to the Ledger-Enquirer Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiChiara did NOT violate any rules. Well, at least when it comes to work on his 1954 Chevrolet -- a car so old that instead of a radio, it may have come with a Dinah Shore songbook.

You may remember the Phenix City Council read a long list of complaints against the school district last October [6 Oct 10]. I was going to call it a "laundry list," but that's one of the few things Councilors did NOT complain about.

One of the complaints involved Superintendent Larry DiChiara having work done on his classic car at Phenix City Central High School. We guessed at the time it was a class project, and we were right. Next time, maybe the history teachers and technical center staff should work together on these things.

(In fact, that car is a 1954 Chevy Bel Air -- so the drama club could have joined the fun, by reenacting one of those "Fresh Prince" TV shows.)

The Alabama Ethics Commission concluded there was NO wrongdoing in the painting of the superintendent's classic car. Larry DiChiara paid three times the going rate for a paint job, and the Career Technical Center kept it a year -- almost as long as some low-budget body shops would.

The Alabama Ethics Commission does NOT reveal who files complaints such as this one. But there's already speculation online that someone in Phenix City government did it, in hopes of forcing out the school superintendent. Someday I should ask Larry DiChiara if he has an MP3 player, with "I Will Survive" playing on it.

Not all is settled in this Phenix City feud. A judge's ruling barring the City Council from appointing school board members is being appealed. State courts had better hurry - because by the time they rule, the Council will be up for re-election and needing those members for endorsements.

Meanwhile, a Lee County Judge has been appointed to hear the forgery case of Phenix City Councilor Arthur Sumbry Sr. This case reportedly involves a document "signed" by a 94-year-old man, that a handwriting expert determined was a phony. We'll see if Sumbry's attorneys respond by calling a different forgery expert to the witness stand - Yella Fella.

-> A recent poker night had a sad interruption. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: We wondered if any Columbus-area lawmakers are cosponsoring the Presidential Electibility Assurance Act, or what some have dubbed the "birther bill." So we asked a couple, and received a reply from one of them Wednesday:

This bill was dropped yesterday. I have not read & I do not commit to any bill unless I have read, and agree with, or had a hand in drafting. No one knows the final version of the bill until it goes through the Committee process, Rules & any potential amendments on the House floor.

Representative Richard H Smith

House District 131

Don't you love the lingo of the legislature? When a bill is introduced, it's "dropped." And if enough lawmakers tell a House member it will ruin their chances for re-election, the bill could be dropped again -- dropped off the calendar.

Rep. Richard Smith makes a valid point about the P.E.A.A. It could be changed in many ways between now and the end of the Georgia Legislature's session. Some Republicans may want to fine-tune it -- by banning candidates from any state Georgia has beaten in a major bowl game in the last ten years. You know, such as Hawaii....

We also asked State Senator Josh McKoon where he stands on this bill. He did not reply as of Wednesday night, but one of his own proposals won Senate approval during the day. It changes the rules for absentee and advance voting - including a ban on Sunday voting. If you can't buy a six-pack, you shouldn't pack a ballot box either.

We also had another message Wednesday about wild animals in the heart of Columbus. We suggested the animals might be at war with humans. Wednesday's e-mail writer responds....

I'm not really sure if we are in fact at war with the animals. It would be more interesting if deer carried guns in the woods to make hunting more of a sport (LOL). Animal rights sympathizers constantly proclaim that humans are so "mean" to animals. Have these people ever watched what animals do to one another on the Discovery and National Geographic channels? I guess it's OK if animal cruelty is natural and not humanly induced.

This is a question I've wondered about for years. Why don't the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals work with the animals, to make them more ethical toward each other? Wouldn't PETA be thrilled to get the producers of "When Animals Attack" videos out of business?

We're going to hold one other e-mail for the weekend, and move on to other Wednesday news:

+ Georgia Power filed papers to cut electric bills $43 million, because the cost of natural gas to operate power plants has gone down. That's a nice thing to do -- but part of me wishes some Georgia Power engineers would defect to Atmos Energy, so the natural gas company can compete for electric service completely.

+ New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in suburban Atlanta announced two layoffs of full-time employees, and ten-percent pay cuts for the rest. This is the megachurch with Eddie Long as its Pastor - so members may be paying more attention to those lawsuits than his sermons about tithing.

+ Roundball Night in Dixieland (tm) apparently marked the end of the season for Columbus State women's basketball. The Cougars lost in the Peach Belt Conference tournament 63-45 - and when WDAK doesn't even bother to broadcast the game, you know it's been a bad year.

+ Auburn's men rallied from 20 points down to mow down Mississippi 76-73. It was a night of surprises -- as WXTX showed the game on digital 54.2 seemingly without telling anyone, and the teams clashed in red and orange uniforms. This "Senior Night" wasn't good for senior fans with color blindness.

(Auburn Network broadcaster Rod Bramblett was so upset by one foul call that he scolded an official: "Call what you see, but don't call what you think you see." So much for Bramblett ever appearing on Glenn Beck's talk shows....)

+ The Georgia men lassoed Louisiana State 73-53 for their 20^th win of the season. That hasn't happened for the Bulldogs in nine years - and hopefully this time history will NOT repeat itself, with 11 wins lost to NCAA rules violations.

+ Instant Message to St. Matthew Evangelical Lutheran Church on Macon Road: I noticed your Sunday sermon topic, "The Stormy Star." I can't believe you're going to devote an entire message on Charlie Sheen.

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: We haven't done a music review in a long time, so....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1,002 (+ 24, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

2 MAR 11: Bikers, Birthers, Bafflers

Tuesday was "Columbus Day" at the Georgia General Assembly. A delegation from the Chamber of Commerce went to Atlanta in style - in a Columbus State University bus which reportedly has Wi-Fi and satellite television. But if there's no mini-frig filled with Coke Zero inside, what's the point?

The Georgia Legislature already is in the second half of its 40-day session. You might think the "silly season" for outlandish bills is over - but Tuesday's news suggested it's not. A couple of eyebrow-raising proposals are still in the running, which Roy Barnes would have banned by now by signing executive orders.

One bill introduced Monday is called the Presidential Electibility Assurance Act. It requires the Georgia Secretary of State to verify candidates for President and Vice President are eligible for the office. I can remember when signed loyalty oaths to a political party were enough....

The bill specifies Presidential candidates must present "a certified exact copy" of a "first original long-form birth certificate," or an affidavit admitting such a document does not exist, along with other documentation. Hmmmm - I wondered what Orly Taitz was doing these days.

This proposal clearly is aimed at the unending rumors about whether President Obama was born in Hawaii or Kenya. I've seen one bumper sticker on a truck in Columbus with the words: "Show the birth certificate" - which makes me wonder if my driver's license is good enough to get around town anymore.

The P.E.A.A. goes on to say if an Electoral College member votes for an ineligible Presidential candidate, that elector will be guilty of a misdemeanor. That may sound harsh, but it could be worse. The elector could be deported to that candidate's real birthplace.

The Associated Press reports the Presidential Electibility Assurance Act has received 93 co-sponsors in the Georgia House. It was unclear Tuesday night if any local lawmakers support it. If Calvin Smyre's name is on the list, I'd want to know what bar he was inside at the time.

The second curious bill in the Georgia Legislature sounds like it would allow motorcycles to run red lights. At least that's how WTVM presented it Tuesday night - as if Uptown Columbus proposed it to make "Bikes on Broadway" weekend a lot more interesting.

But a closer look at the proposal shows it's not exactly a call for "The Fast and the Furious" in Georgia. Motorcycle riders could go through stop lights at their own risk "with due caution," but only after waiting 60 seconds. I don't think Columbus has any intersections which make drivers wait that long - unless you count sections of 13^th Street and Manchester Expressway during rush hour.

The thinking behind this proposal is that motorcycles don't get noticed at traffic lights, because they're too small for "vehicle detection devices" to notice. I realize this will stun some younger readers. Especially if you're being brought up as I was -- told there's a little man inside a metal box changing the lights.

A House committee gave the motorcycle bill a favorable report two weeks ago. The "birther bill" was introduced only this week, on the 20^th day of a 40-day session - as if the proposal had to go through Caesarean section.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on the Iron Bowl closed Tuesday night. Only two of our 11 voters supported the proposal by WTVM's Lee Brantley to suspend the Alabama-Auburn football game, in the wake of the tree poisoning at Toomer's Corner. Yes, that leaves nine opposed to News Leader 9 - coincidence?!

Work crews in Auburn dug wells around the Toomer's Corner trees Tuesday. It was a test to see if the herbicide sprayed by "Al from Dadeville" has reached the groundwater. If the digging happens to lead to an oil strike, the Auburn University football program truly will have the last laugh.

-> A weekend poker night had a sad interruption. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's move from "flora" to "fauna"....

Richard, in reference to the e-mail update about all of the animals in busy, residential areas, we as humans have a tendency to forget that it was "we" that moved in and invaded their habitat to begin with. Maybe the animals are trying to take back what belonged to them to begin with. All that I can say is "good luck" Bambi's! It IS a wild world out there!

Ohhhhh -- so you're saying Columbus is at war, and we simply haven't realized it?! Something like "The Event"? So that's why the cable channel is called "Animal Planet," and not simply a network.

Sad to say, one of my former roommates says he was attacked from behind last week by two of his neighbor's pit bulls. He's alive, but needed treatment and antibiotics for five separate injuries. This occurred in Minnesota - where there apparently aren't enough moose anymore to keep pit bulls in line.

Let's see what else kept us chained to our desk Tuesday on National Pancake Day....

+ Columbus Police reported they arrested a suspect in a string of convenience store break-ins. Someone entered stores through the roof, to steal Newport cigarettes. Forget meth addiction - menthol addiction has been around a lot longer.

+ WRBL reported District Attorney Julia Slater is offering a plea bargain to former Parks Director Tony Adams and the other "Rec-Gate" suspects. I wonder if she's borrowing from the Georgia Blazers basketball team, and offering an old-fashioned three-point play.

+ Alabama Governor Robert Bentley presented his first "State of the State" address. He promised to end proration in state budgets, saying budgets proposed in recent years were unrealistic. So much for the Bentleys getting invited to Bob Riley's next backyard cookout.

+ The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported former Alabama quarterback Greg McElroy almost had a perfect score on the aptitude test, at the National Football League "combine." McElroy scored 48 out of 50. Too bad he fumbled away that last crucial two-pointer....

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 978 (+ 33, 3.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

1 MAR 11: SYN-Town No More?

Despite all the gloomy talk I hear and doom-filled predictions I read online, March begins with the Dow Jones Industrial Average having gained ground three months in a row. The stock market "bears" are faring far worse than the football team in Chicago did.

But business pessimists in Columbus may have seen an announcement Monday as the beginning of an end. Synovus Financial announced several familiar local names are leaving the board of directors -- and two potential replacements live well outside the area. Unless those newcomers drive Kias and have time-shares near Callaway Gardens....

Synovus revealed Gardiner Gerrard of The Jordan Company and William Turner Jr. of The W.C. Bradley Company will NOT stand for re-election at the shareholders meeting in April. Neither will Aflac's Dan Amos - even though he's comfortable with out-of-towners, from all those policy holders who live in Japan.

Two nominees for the Synovus board were named, from MetLife and The Santa Fe Group of New Mexico. Some business analysts see this as a sign of corporate diversity. But others are bound to see it another way - as Columbus leaders hurrying out onto Bay Avenue, before local control slides downhill to be washed down the Chattahoochee River.

The list of Synovus board members indicates even with Monday's announced departures, at least one-third of the directors still will have strong ties to Columbus. But the number of local "good ol' boys" is about to decline - and Synovus so far hasn't offered Teresa Pike Tomlinson a spot on the board, to match Phillip at TSYS.

(By comparison, the TSYS board of directors has about a 50-percent composition of Columbus residents. In fact, several people are listed on both the Synovus and TSYS boards. How refreshing to see the companies remaining friends, after their recent corporate divorce.)

The potential shift to more outsiders on the Synovus board only adds fuel to the rumors about a possible buyout. London's "Financial Times" reported last week executives have sought counsel about potentially selling the company. If Synovus sells too soon, it won't be able to offer the new managers free rafting privileges.

Synovus Financial has been hurt in recent years by the weak housing market. Its stock remains below three dollars a share, down more than ten percent in the last 12 months. But the company is promising a first-quarter dividend -- of one cent per share. You wondered where the phrase "a penny for your thoughts" started, didn't you?

(Before you ask - no, I do NOT think Synovus stock is staying flat as a promotion for National Pancake Day.)

But other local companies have done well in the recent stock market surge. Aflac closed Monday near 59 dollars a share, and its stock value has jumped nearly 50 percent since June. I'd say the price has "flown" upward, but that duck seems to waddle a lot more than it flies.

-> A weekend poker night had a sad interruption. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <-

E-MAIL UPDATE: Since we brought up ducks....

Columbus is becoming a wildlife sanctuary..On Armour Ave behind HHS I saw a coyote and a fox at different times..Then on Macon Rd.yesterday near Strifflers I saw a huge deer that had been hit by a car.I live in a highly populated residential area ,but have raccoons and opossums that frequent my yard and pesky squirrels . Perhaps the Columbus logo should have a pack of wildlife drinking from a city fountain..

Thanks for alerting us to this. Maybe now someone will start lobbying for higher and sturdier fences at Oxbow Meadows.

A couple of cats scamper around my neighborhood, because a neighbor leaves a pile of cat food outside the back door. And I had a rare close-up look Monday night at the lizard in my kitchen, which seems to keep the cockroaches away. I think it's only coincidence that I had Geico car insurance for several years before it showed up.

Let's see what else we discovered as February ended....

+ A line of strong storms moved through the Columbus area - almost like clockwork. Today marks four years since the North Columbus and Americus tornadoes, and Monday marked two years since the Salem tornado. For some odd reason, the March 2009 snowfall isn't following after it.

+ Valley Police told WLTZ a man was arrested on charges of stealing 280 U.S. treasury bonds. We should all be relieved by this news -- as it's proof China doesn't own every last one of them.

+ Sumter County school bus drivers staged a protest of proposed staff cuts, as one-third of them didn't bother reporting for work. Those drivers may receive awards today from the promoters of that campaign against child obesity.

+ Alabama Lieutenant Governor Kay Ivey called on residents to contact their state Senator and House member at least twice a month. That may sound absurd, but keep something in mind. Since Governor Robert Bentley announced three-percent proration Monday, the public school teachers are bound to do it.

+ Instant Message to World Wrestling Entertainment: I know your works too well. C'mon, admit it - this is all a stunt to put Charlie Sheen on the card at Wrestlemania in Atlanta, isn't it?

More than 54,700 unique folks visited The Blog of Columbus last year! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment about this blog, write me - but be warned: I may post your e-mail and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 945 (+ 27, 2.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-11 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.