11 DEC 09: What a Good Boy Am I

Look, up in the sky -- not bird, not plane, not even that strange swirly light. A Columbus church pastor was about 50 feet above ground level Thursday night. And supporters insist he was NOT trying to prove he's closer to God than any other minister.

The pastor of MyChurch went up in a boom truck along Bradley Park Drive, for what was described as a fund-raising campaign. Jeff Murphy says he isn't coming down until money is raised to buy 200 children's bicycles. It's called "Bikes or Bust" - because the pastor might be tempting God by calling it "Bikes or Jump."

Pastor Jeff Murphy isn't completely deprived while he's up in the boom truck. In fact, he's posting regular updates on Twitter. We may have found the next big addiction challenge for many Christians - giving up Blackberries for Lent.

(In one Twitter update, Murphy reports a member of his pastoral team responded to a dare "to take his shirt off and run around McDonald's." Considering how cold it was in Columbus Thursday night, that sight could have brought a police response in some parts of town.)

If this stunt with a boom truck sounds familiar, it should. Pastor Jeff Murphy did the same thing last December [14 Dec 08] - only at the time, MyChurch didn't officially exist. He admitted it was partly a stunt to get publicity for his new congregation. So much for the good old days, when you merely had to promise to explain the "mark of the beast."

Pastor Jeff Murphy made sure the word spread about "Bikes or Bust," including a Thursday radio interview on WGSY-FM "Sunny 100." But here's what gets me -- do you have to resort to public relations stunts like this to do a good deed? I know a few local churches where money for children is raised through special offerings. They're boring, but they still work.

MyChurch wasn't the only place in Columbus trying to do a good deed for youngsters Thursday. The Springer Opera House held its annual holiday party, complete with Miss Georgia Emily Cook playing what looked like a clarinet. It probably would hurt Cook's cause at the Miss America pageant if she sang a sexy version of "Santa Baby."

The Springer Opera House has staged this children's party for years - yet someone probably made sure the news media found out about it, so video of the event would appear on TV. The Columbus Symphony Orchestra's "Christmas Tales" concert Thursday night didn't seem to make the news. Maybe it's time for George Del Gobbo to go on another diet.

So what's my point here? When December comes, there's not only an increased effort to help children - there's also quite a competition by the helpers to get attention. They want you to know how much they care. And perhaps in response, you'll care enough to give them much.

That competition explains why holiday events at Port Columbus and the National Infantry Museum have been on TV in recent weeks, but the Toys for Tots motorcycle ride was not. And that's strange, because the motorcycles in South Commons simply had to be louder than the Columbus Council campaign announcement a few blocks away.

I took a call several years ago from one local civic club leader, who wanted TV coverage for his group's December charity giveaway. He explained: "People need to know what we're doing...." The idea of quietly doing good deeds simply isn't good enough - especially not when your national office has a membership goal to meet.

So if you see TV news reports in the next couple of weeks about local toy giveaways or dinners for needy people, stop and ask some questions. Why is the giveaway occurring, and why is it on TV? Is it simply an act of compassion and generosity? Or is there some self-promotion going on - as people give with one hand, to hide personal back-patting with the other?

We have a Friday special treat for you -- but before that, let's wrap up other Thursday news:

+ Columbus Gourmet opened its new office in the Corporate Ridge Industrial Park, and the owner announced plans to add 50 new jobs. Who could have imagined Columbus as a hotbed for "gourmet" foods? I mean, none of the barbecue restaurants have put that title on themselves.

+ Charlie Capps of Columbus was inducted in the "Krystal Lover's Hall of Fame." Capps retired from the restaurant chain in June, after 48 years on the job. He's probably watched the price of a Double Krystal double at least twice.

(Capps was honored at the Krystal on Manchester Expressway - except the sign on the marquee misspelled "congratulations." But considering the name of the restaurant isn't spelled with a C, I shouldn't really be surprised....)

+ The annual World Conference of Mayors opened in Shorter. I don't think Mayor Jim Wetherington was there, but Johnny Ford was - and he's not the mayor of Tuskegee anymore. It makes me wonder if Ford's posted 2010 campaign signs around the conference center, the way he already has on Dillingham Street.

(To be fair: WXTX "News at Ten" noted Johnny Ford founded the World Mayor's Conference in the 1980s. He's currently "Secretary General," apparently oversees the conference headquarters in Tuskegee -- and who knows how much money he made by promoting Victoryland on the conference home page.)

+ Victoryland owner Milton McGregor assured Montgomery's WSFA-TV his electronic bingo games have been reconfigured, to make sure they match a recent Alabama Supreme Court ruling. If someone claims to win with "O-114," Governor Bob Riley might order another raid.

+ A nationwide survey determined Alabama's Troy King is the highest-paid Attorney General of any state, earning $168,000 a year. No wonder he opposes illegal gambling - he doesn't have to worry about playing slot machines for extra money.

+ Georgia's Drew Butler won the Ray Guy Award, given to the top punter in college football. He's the son of former Bulldog and Chicago Bears kicker Kevin Butler - so how does the family assure this line of kickers keeps going? Will Drew Butler have to marry a nightclub dancer?

+ Instant Message to Glenwood School: Did I understand that right - you called an all-school assembly to introduce your new football coach? The University of Alabama didn't even do that for Nick Saban.

-> Our Thursday night poker tournament had not one "lightning strike," but two. Read what happened at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: Kelly Clarkson performed at the Columbus Civic Center Thursday night. We wrote about the singer for LaughLine subscribers, during her breakthrough year of 2002. (Yes, we've posted some of these jokes before.)

23 Aug 02: Three singers now remain in American Idol - and Kelly Clarkson now may be the favorite. She's the only one who has NOT been called to center stage, for having a low number of votes. If Clarkson wins, she'll get phone calls from almost every candidate for Congress.

29 Aug 02: The hosts of American Idol did NOT give away who placed first in this week's voting. Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are left to wonder who's in the lead - and who needs to hire James Carville to prepare attack ads.

2 Sep 02: Kelly Clarkson admits she's gained a motor-mouth reputation among the American Idol singers. Clarkson says she could talk and talk about anything -- so if she doesn't win the big recording contract, she'll get her own show on M-T-V.

3 Sep 02: The American Idol duo seems to offer voters a clear choice. Justin Guarini has an African-American father, an Italian-American mother and a background of singing bar mitzvahs. Kelly Clarkson is a white girl from Texas. In other words, it's Democrat versus Republican.

Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini will sing three songs for the voters tonight. In fact, they'll each sing the SAME song - one written to be their debut single later this month. They'll take turns singing it, so the "re-mix" rights can be sold to as many studios as possible.

4 Sep 02: "Inside Edition" revealed Kelly Clarkson's most recent job was as a cocktail waitress. Considering all the smoke in nightclubs, it may be a wonder she can sing at all.

(And did you also know Kelly Clarkson's favorite treat is an orange flurry from Sonic Drive-Ins? All she needs is a pair of roller skates, and she can sing her first TV jingle.)

5 Sep 02: Kelly Clarkson stood almost expressionless when she was named the winner. Her mother in the audience broke down in tears. And in Florida, some Democrats accused the Texans of cheating with the votes again.

Kelly Clarkson's next big performance may come next Wednesday. She'll sing the national anthem at a September 11 commemoration at Washington's Lincoln Memorial. It will make a great statement to the world - since the Taliban wouldn't let a woman speak, much less sing.

17 SEP 02: New in music stores today: "A Moment Like This" - the first single from "American Idol" queen Kelly Clarkson. Her "moment" is defying the skeptics so far, at two weeks and counting....

The original plan was for Kelly Clarkson's first full-length album to come out around Thanksgiving. But now it's been delayed until early next year. What's the problem? Does Simon Cowell have veto power over all her studio sessions?

Kelly Clarkson may become more than a music star. "Entertainment Weekly" reports the creator of American Idol wants to make a movie with her and Justin Guarini -- and we all know what that did for Lance Bass's career several months ago....

30 SEP 02: "Inside Edition" reported Kelly Clarkson has inflamed vocal cords -- and is under doctor's orders not to TALK, much less sing. So when does "American Idol" fire her from the recording contract and give it to Justin Guarini?

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 402 (+ 10, 2.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 DEC 09: Spin the Weather Wheel

Why didn't I think of it before? It suddenly made sense Wednesday - why Glenn Burns emceed the Georgia Lottery drawings for years. He's a weather anchor in Atlanta, and the weather sometimes can be as unpredictable as a Mega Millions drawing.

Columbus has seen a little bit of everything this week in terms of weather. Wednesday began with an overnight tornado watch, and a strong rainstorm which splashed hard enough on the bedroom window to wake me up. At least, I think that's how it happened. I don't recall any dreams about car washes....

Yet when I climbed out of bed, the sun was out -- and since the temperature had risen all night to the mid-sixties F., I could take a "sunrise run" on the Riverwalk. Mornings like this happen from time to time in December. They're pleasant reminders that we live only two-and-a-half hours from Florida.

To borrow from legendary soccer broadcaster Toby Charles, there were "puddles all over the pitch" during my run. And rain from overnight and Tuesday reinvigorated mud still on the Riverwalk from recent flooding. If I wanted to run on an obstacle course, I would have tried out for a football team.

Yet the morning run went well, at almost two miles non-stop. And the high temperature in Columbus reached 72 degrees - quite a change from the chilly forties of last weekend. Going from a turtleneck sweater to a T-shirt and running shorts in one day is creating big gaps in my clothes closet.

The changing temperatures are doing strange things to several small trees in my neighborhood. They're showing spring buds in December, while autumn foliage remains on some limbs. These trees obviously are confused - so where are the "tree whisperers" to offer psychological help, like the ones for horses?

One of the evening TV newscasts considered the 72-degree day a big enough deal for a full report. But then the weather "record book" showed Columbus hit a record high for the date of 77 only two years before. It's almost enough to start a "hide the decline" climate change protest march.

But that same weather report also showed one year before that, Columbus had a record morning low of 22 degrees. The on-call photographer shooting beauty pictures for the Chamber of Commerce probably didn't get a check for that day....

This simply shows how volatile the weather can be in Columbus during December. Today's high is expected to be much cooler, in the mid-fifties -- and the Saturday forecast is for 45 degrees with rain. In other words, it's a perfect week for trying on all your clothes to see which ones are ready to donate to charity.

By the way, Columbus Metro Airport had 0.74 inches of rain from the overnight storm. We're now about two inches away from the wettest year in recorded history - so much rain that WRBL's Bob Jeswald finally has stopped using the phrase "long-term drought."

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: I was overdue to get slapped on the wrist - and the title of Tuesday's entry led to one....

Richard, I'm surprised at you. You obviously knew of the Doll family tragedy yet still thought "Doll Brawl" was an appropriate headliner. The stunning lack of compassion by some folks in this town leaves me d**n near speechless. Do you think the death of a child warrants a bit more sympathy? I want Rob Doll and his family to know that people are praying for them, people they had no idea even cared.

Robbie

My apologies for causing any offense. I didn't realize why Rob Doll missed the bankruptcy court hearing until WRBL's 11:00 p.m. news explained it. After hearing that, I considered changing topics -- but instead made an effort to focus on the court fight over the car dealership. And I suppose it would have been more alliterative to call it a "Demolition Derby."

Since that case has been continued, we'll continue on to some other Wednesday news:

+ A Muscogee County judge rejected a motion to stop the execution of Carlton Gary. Attorney Jack Martin said he found untested items in a police property room last week - but judge Robert Johnston ruled Martin examined all the items in that room in 2001, and never asked for DNA testing. Gary's next "last-ditch" appeal could be based on incompetent legal counsel.

+ The Columbus Black and Minority Chamber of Commerce held its annual leadership breakfast. But the big surprise came hours later, when WTVM aired part of an interview with Dee Armstrong. The former news anchor's soundbite included the phrase: "He who has the money has the power...." Somehow, I think Armstrong knew that before she sued WTVM claiming discrimination.

+ WRBL reported more public tours of the Kia plant will be offered in January, because Kia is overbooked through the end of the month. We thought West Point simply was getting a big industrial boost - but now it has Columbus's closest thing to a theme park.

+ Columbus resident Lawrence Brooks received a $500,000 check from the Georgia Lottery. Brooks won an Atlanta Falcons scratch-off game -- and probably won more money than Troy Bergeron is making by jumping on and off the Falcons' practice squad.

(Brooks told WTVM the half-million dollar windfall won't change him. He plans to retire in a few years -- but he does want to buy a new truck. With all that money, he could have the nicest 18-wheeler this side of The Wagoners.)

+ The "Budweiser Clydesdale" horses appeared at Callaway Gardens. Isn't it a little early to start promoting next year's Steeplechase?

+ Troy Public Radio's "Community Focus" had guests from the Montgomery Zoo -- including a guest hedgehog. Is it really a good idea to take animals to a radio station to show off? If the audience can't see them, we can't appreciate the damage and mess they can make.

+ The University of Alabama Faculty Senate passed a resolution opposing the postponed start of spring semester, due to the Bowl Championship Series title game. C'mon, you math professors - when was the last time all your students had perfect scores throughout a semester?

+ Roundball Night in Dixieland (tm) saw the Georgia men lose to St. John's 66-56. The Bulldogs played at New York's Madison Square Garden - so at least the players can say they probably stood a few miles from the Heisman Trophy.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Salvation Army: The Toys for Tots campaign may be on to something. At Goo Goo car washes Wednesday, the donations were guarded by U.S. Marines.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 392 (+ 18, 4.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 DEC 09: Takeoff or Landing

Tuesday began with positive news about the Columbus economy. It ended with negative news about the same economy. In short, it was a microcosm of the Atlanta Falcons football season....

The positive news came when the Columbus Chamber of Commerce called a news conference with an official from the Manpower employment agency. Normally Manpower issues a simple news release, with the results of its quarterly job survey. This made me wonder if the Chamber was paying to move a team of agency statisticians from up north.

But the news from Manpower was different. The agency's survey indicates Columbus will have the strongest job growth in the U.S. between January and March. One-fourth of all companies plan to add employees. Seven percent plan to reduce staff. And the rest will be too busy sorting through the health care reform bill to know for sure.

A Manpower spokesperson cited several explanations for the strong job outlook in Columbus. There's base realignment construction work at Fort Benning. The Kia plant in West Point continues to get rolling. And Marco's Pizza still hasn't opened any restaurants south of Macon Road.

Chamber of Commerce leaders were all smiles at the Manpower announcement - but in the afternoon things changed. Cessna Aircraft announced it will close its Columbus plants within two years. There's nothing like a grounded airplane or two to ruin your day.

Cessna had made several rounds of staff cuts at the three Columbus plants. Now the remaining 300 employees will be phased out - and since this is an aircraft company, I hope they all leave with golden parachutes.

A Cessna spokesperson says the company will move the Columbus operations to Kansas and Mexico. Kansas makes sense, since the company has its headquarters in Wichita - but Mexico?! Please don't tell me Cessna is being bought out by a drug cartel....

WTVM reported the Columbus Cessna employees will be offered severance packages. But maybe the Kia plant can pick them up - and we'll finally have that flying car they predicted on "The Jetsons" years ago.

The shutdown announcement comes only 16 months after Cessna opened a new plant in the Muscogee Technology Park, and promised to add jobs there. But even then, job cuts were underway at other locations. So don't trust the promises of an airplane company - because they could be simply pie in the sky.

Without even planning it, the Columbus Chamber of Commerce had an event Tuesday night to ease the Cessna blow - a year-end party for members of its young professionals group. The party theme was "It's a Wonderful Life." They certainly show that movie at the big job fair in early November....

Let's see what else made for a lively Tuesday:

+ Muscogee County District Attorney Julia Slater announced she's recommending a denial of Carlton Gary's latest appeal. Forget Tiger Woods's mother-in-law - I want to know if Slater's decision sent Gray Conger to the emergency room in shock.

+ Convicted armed robber Justin Lawson appeared before Columbus Council, asking for a pardon. But Councilors said they couldn't help him, because they don't know him personally. [True/WLTZ] Does this mean Mark Shelnutt had an escape route, if the jury had found him guilty?

+ Columbus Council also discussed the rules for the "rails to trails" path across the city. Councilor Glenn Davis suggested keeping the path open after sunset. But City Manager Isaiah Hugley indicated some residents near the trail are concerned about safety - which tells me hobos don't ride on local railroad cars anymore.

+ Ground was broken for a renovation of the historic Empire Building at 12^th Street and First Avenue. Developer Craig Taylor needed close to a decade to prepare for the ceremony - in part to arrange financing, and in part to make sure shoveling dirt in the lobby wouldn't destabilize the building to cause an implosion.

(The plan for the Empire Building is to have apartments and condominiums on upper floors, with four businesses at street level. The building has one business now - and I'm waiting to see if the manager of Club Odyssey will file a sex discrimination complaint.)

+ Columbus car dealer and State Senator Emmanuel Jones told GPB News he's proposing a change in the "zero tolerance" policy for weapons at schools. Jones says districts should be allowed some discretion, in determining whether a student means to harm anyone. For instance, is the Northside High rifle team really going on a road trip to LaGrange?

+ Columbus State University held its fall commencement at the Civic Center. The May graduation will take place there as well, due to construction of the new student recreation center. It simply wouldn't look right for seniors to walk around in hard hats and gowns.

(WXTX "News at Ten" played video of the commencement ceremony, and I was stunned by how many shouts and cheers came from the audience. That would get you kicked out of Muscogee County high school graduation ceremonies. Don't these moms and dads grow up, while their children are at college?)

+ Auburn University suspended the FarmHouse Fraternity, accusing older members of hazing freshmen. The charges are embarrassing enough - but for this to happen at a fraternity named FarmHouse?! Were the pledges called "chicken" over and over?

+ The University of Alabama announced the start of spring semester will be postponed one week, due to the Bowl Championship Series title game. And then some people wonder why candidates for Governor consider higher education an issue....

(The University of Texas academic calendar doesn't even begin spring semester until after Martin Luther King Day. On top of that, the B.C.S. title game hasn't even made the news section of the university web site. Some football programs actually plan for success, and even expect it.)

+ Instant Message to Sarah Rainey of Auburn: I saw you on TV - getting that dream limousine ride at age 95. So how many energy drinks and beers did you down on the way to lunch?

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (+ 7, 1.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 DEC 09: Doll Brawl

Yes sir -- you can tell the calendar has reached December, and a big day is close at hand. The Monday evening news included grown-ups fighting over a "Doll"....

In this case, the fight in U.S. Bankruptcy Court was over Rob Doll Nissan. A hearing on the dealership was continued, after a new potential bidder emerged. And everyone knows if you have three people fighting over something involving cars, there's bound to be a backseat driver.

The initial agreement was for Rob Doll to sell majority control of his Nissan dealership to the Jay Auto Group [30 Oct]. But then Carl Gregory came along and offered his own bid -- which admittedly surprised me, because the Jay car lots seem to be closer to that Whitesville Road white elephant with Doll's name on it.

Monday brought word of a third possible buyer, which WTVM identified as "SE Columbus Automotive." At first I thought a new car dealership in southeast Columbus would give visitors an unusual place to shop, during trips to the National Infantry Museum.

But then the 5:00 p.m. news explained -- SE Columbus Automotive apparently takes part of its name from the last name of its top officer. Nissan drivers should be relieved to hear this. After all, fitting Mercedes SE parts into a Nissan engine probably wouldn't be easy....

The attorney for Rob Doll Nissan says SE Columbus Automotive is owned by Shawn Sesahani. His resume includes the operation of Eastern Shore Toyota, in the Mobile suburb of Daphne. This is surprising on several counts - because I thought only Maryland was allowed to have an Eastern Shore.

Did I see the web site for Eastern Shore Toyota correctly -- that its service lounge includes a lunch counter where you can buy salads? Some Columbus car dealers aren't that hard-up for extra money. I know one which still dares to offer free doughnuts to customers in the morning.

(A check of the staff for Eastern Shore Toyota revealed one of the salespeople is a Mike Dubose. This has to be the biggest drop in employment in the history of Alabama football coaches....)

There's part of me that's pulling for SE Columbus Automotive to win the bidding for Rob Doll Nissan. It would keep the current ownership diversity in the local car business. Sometimes it seems there are more different owners of car lots in Columbus than owners of convenience stores.

The afternoon news also disclosed how much the two official bidders are offering for Rob Doll Nissan's assets. The Jay Auto Group filed a bid in bankruptcy court totaling $600,000. Carl Gregory's bid reportedly is for $450,000. Trouble is, the report did NOT include fine print about 0.9 percent financing or thousand-dollar rebate plans.

In a significant change, an attorney for the Nissan dealership told the Ledger-Enquirer Rob Doll will NOT be involved in ownership should Jay Auto Group buy it. So your only remaining chance for a "Cissy Doll" sighting in this area could occur in a booth at the Lee County Flea Market.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: WRBL reports Monday's bankruptcy court hearing was delayed because Rob Doll's daughter died over the weekend in Florida. Our sympathies are with the Doll family.)

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: The college football regular season may be almost over, but the trash talking is not. An older man who picked Florida to win the Southeastern Conference title approached an Alabama fan Monday morning.

"I bet you were drunk all weekend, weren't you?"

Football talk is only part of our review of news and notes from the last couple of days....

+ Which local pastor is claiming she could be the successor to TV preacher Joyce Meyer? She'd better hurry, before her celebrity daughter moves out and tries to claim the title for herself....

+ Police reported someone stole a Salvation Army kettle from Columbus Park Crossing at gunpoint. If you're annoyed by the bell-ringing, please use some wisdom - and wear headphones in the store doorways instead.

+ Muscogee County District Attorney Julia Slater told WRBL she's reviewing the latest last-minute appeal by convicted "Stocking Strangler" Carlton Gary. Given what Slater has done with other cases this year, she might respond by sending Gary a Christmas card.

+ Another storm approached Columbus, to add to more than 70 inches of rain which has fallen this year. If you run to the store and buy enough buckets, you might be able to store enough water for all your spring cleaning.

+ The annual "Night of Lights" ceremony was held at the Phenix City Amphitheater. It was postponed four days because rain made the Chattahoochee River level rise too high - yet you'll notice no one proposing changing the event to the Night of Kayaks.

+ WLTZ interviewed a mother and daughter who will graduate together from Columbus State University tonight. Cynthia Wright and Camesha Tate took the exact same course schedule, and even joined the same campus organizations. Now that's a creative way of making sure your daughter dates the right guys.

+ The Columbus State men's basketball team came from behind to stun third-ranked Valdosta State 73-71. Coach Doug Branson said during his WDAK pre-game show his "word of the day" for the Cougars was "earn." Shouldn't this word wait until after the seniors finish their season, and try to enter the N.B.A. draft?

+ Auburn's Brendon Knox made a tip-in with 1.4 seconds left, for victory over Virginia 68-67. The guest analyst on the Auburn Radio Network was Hal Baird, and he did well in the second half. But Baird is the retired Tiger baseball coach - and I can't believe that many former basketball players fled the state.

+ Instant Message to all Alabama football fans: Yes, I noticed -- Nick Saban was named Southeastern Conference Coach of the Year. But no, I do NOT think Florida coach Urban Meyer broke down in tears when he heard the news.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 367 (+ 15, 4.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 DEC 09: Chambers of Champions?

If you thought the Southeastern Conference championship game had a little bit of everything - well, it didn't. Sunday brought proof of that. No one used the big game in Atlanta to announce a campaign for public office - not even Tim Tebow.

A campaign for Columbus Council was announced Sunday at an unusual place - a football stadium, in the middle of a season-ending series of games. And amazingly, he did NOT cite park improvements as a major campaign issue.

Travis Chambers will run for the citywide Council District 9 seat, which Wayne Anthony is giving up to run for mayor. He works as a real estate broker - and if you buy the $1.1 million house in Upatoi I found on his web page, he won't be "broker" much longer.

The online profile for Travis Chambers indicates he developed a proper-looking Columbus Council resume. He went through this year's "Leadership Columbus" class. He's involved with an educational arm of the Chamber of Commerce. And he's a former executive with Synovus - which means a political consultation with Calvin Smyre could be only a phone call away.

Travis Chambers told WTVM he has nothing against Wayne Anthony's work with Columbus Council. But he wants to emphasize economic development a bit more. I think this means Chambers supports trickle-down economics - more business, more jobs, more home sales.

Another issue for Travis Chambers is "water management." I tried to do my part along those lines Sunday afternoon - but I couldn't get that stuck drinking fountain below the Civic Center to stop running, no matter how hard I tried.

(And given the real estate office where Travis Chambers works, don't be surprised if he tries to resurrect the Equal Rights Amendment as a campaign issue. Or does that E.R.A. stand for something else?)

About 150 people reportedly attended the Travis Chambers campaign announcement at McClung Memorial Stadium. But then again, they may have been there for another reason - as the stadium was hosting "Championship Sunday" in Columbus Youth Football. You might say fans who showed up for one event wound up going for two.

I thought the Peanut Bowl in mid-November marked the end of the Columbus Youth Football season. But that changed four years ago, and now there's a "Holiday Bowl" which follows it. If Travis Chambers really wanted to make a campaign splash, he could have followed the lead of that other Holiday Bowl and been the title sponsor.

(We've mentioned here before that my first grade-school summer softball team wore shirts saying, "Third District Commissioner Chet Matson." To this day, I don't know if he ever showed up at our games - and I figured he had to surface as a mystery manager sooner or later, to buy us soda.)

Sunday's Holiday Bowl had guest football teams from Smiths Station and the Mountain Hill area of Harris County. It's nice to see young people getting extra exercise outside - but I think it would be better if Columbus Youth Football knew how to spell "league" on its web site.

I happened to jog past McClung Memorial Stadium during one of Sunday's games, and found out parents could buy a DVD of the game within 20 minutes of the final whistle. It's apparently up to mom and dad after that - to edit together the scenes with their son, and e-mail them to prospective colleges.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of football, the big match-up became official Sunday night. Alabama will face Texas for the Bowl Championship Series title. This could mean some adjustments for the Tide football players - feasting on Longhorn beef barbecue, instead of pork.

Georgia Tech was confirmed as a home team for the Orange Bowl in suburban Miami. The Yellow Jackets will entertain Iowa - and hope for Florida heat to wear out those cold-blooded football players from up north.

In a curious bit of scheduling, Troy University will play on the night between Georgia Tech and Alabama's bowl games. The Trojans will face Central Michigan at Mobile 6 January, in the G.M.A.C. Bowl. If some overzealous Troy fan tries to tell you it's a "B.C.S. game," tell him (ahem) to take the C out.

Auburn learned it will meet Northwestern 1 January, in the Outback Bowl at Tampa. Tiger fans undoubtedly will feel superior about this - especially once they find out Northwestern isn't even located in the northwest corner of Illinois.

So what about Georgia? The Bulldogs win a trip to Shreveport, Louisiana, to face Texas A&M in the Independence Bowl. At least that game isn't sponsored by Weed-Eaters anymore....

And lest we forget - how about Sunday's pro football game in Atlanta? It might as well have been Michael Vick Homecoming Sunday. And the only thing lacking at the end of the day was a security guard dog for him to hug.

Michael Vick ran for a touchdown and threw for another, as Philadelphia flattened the Falcons 34-7. Plenty of Vick jerseys were seen in the stands, and fans reportedly chanted, "We want Mike." Matt Ryan's ailing toe can't heal soon enough....

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 352 (- 22, 5.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 DEC 09: Catch 22

For several decades, the University of Alabama fight song seemed very antiquated. It has a line about winning the Rose Bowl - but the rules for competing in the Rose Bowl barred Alabama from taking part. And no one ever seemed to suggest the Crimson Tide join the Big Ten conference.

But it appears Alabama will play inside the Rose Bowl come January. The Tide topped Florida 32-13 Saturday evening to win the Southeastern Conference title. Except they'll play for the Bowl Championship Series title, not in the Rose Bowl game itself. Who can work out something, so the cheerleaders can ride in a parade float?

Alabama gained revenge for last year's SEC title game, by beating Florida at Atlanta's Georgia Dome. Consider what the alternative might have been. Another trip to the Sugar Bowl to face an undefeated Mountain West Conference champion - and this time potentially getting run over by a bunch of frogs.

Did you notice all the times the number 22 came up in Saturday's game? Florida had won 22 games in a row. Alabama won its 22^nd Southeastern Conference title. Crimson Tide running back Mark Ingram wears #22. About the only thing with a 23 was the number of ingredients in Dr. Pepper.

Mark Ingram scored three touchdowns for the Tide. But the CBS announcers noted for some reason, he developed leg cramps after the game. That sometimes happens to me after long runs - only they tend to happen in the middle of the night. If they happen hours later, does that mean my body's stronger?

The Alabama radio broadcasters noted something unusual about the victory celebration. Coach Nick Saban did NOT get the cliche "Gatorade bucket" over his head. The broadcast team said that's because the job of winning a national title isn't finished yet. I thought it might be due to the fact that Gatorade was created at the University of Florida.

(That reminds me: I learned a new word from reading online comments about the Alabama-Georgia game. It's "HATER-ade" - which sounds like someone who's just joined the Taliban.)

The Alabama win means a Phenix City Central graduate is likely to take the field for the B.C.S. title game. Earl Alexander is a junior wide receiver, but he's only had four catches this season. It's like he's been lost in a maze - in this case, starting wide receiver Marquis Maze.

The Alabama marketing campaign for the B.C.S. title game already is underway. As of Saturday night, you could buy a replica of the jersey Mark Ingram will wear in January for only $64.95. And then people wonder why such a high number of Alabama households are below the poverty line....

But back to that fight song: Alabama has a 5-0 record in Rose Bowl games. Its last appearance in Pasadena, California was in 1946 - when the Crimson Tide was coached by Frank Thomas. [True/Tide media guide] It makes Thomas's 500 home-run career even more remarkable....

Alabama capped a perfect football season, by beating Southern California in the 1946 Rose Bowl. But even then, the schedule was open to criticism. Two of the wins came over military bases, at the end of World War II. And if Alabama never even played Auburn, can you REALLY say the season was perfect?

(So let's see - U.A. from the SEC will play for the B.C.S. title near L.A. And for once, those initials will NOT stand for Lower Alabama.)

Several places in the Columbus area had "viewing parties" to watch the Southeastern Conference championship game. WTVM found one at Ben's Chop House on Sidney Simons Boulevard - which probably was the most pricey place to watch, with a two-martini minimum.

It appears Alabama will tangle with Texas for the B.C.S. title. The Longhorns escaped with a last-second win Saturday night over Nebraska - and regained that last second only through an instant replay review. Football has moved beyond a "game of inches" to a game of nanoseconds.

Another area college football team had reason to celebrate Saturday night. Georgia Tech won the Atlantic Coast Conference championship by clubbing Clemson 39-34. Georgia Bulldog fans will argue that only makes Georgia Tech the best football team in South Carolina.

The ACC title tilt in Tampa came down to the final drives. Jonathan Dwyer ran for the winning Georgia Tech score with 1:20 remaining, then the Yellow Jacket defense stopped Clemson on downs. On a night when neither team punted, any stop made a fan's jaw drop.

Did I hear the Georgia Tech radio sideline reporter correctly - that assistant coach Giff Smith was so fired up before the game that he broke his hand? Maybe he should learn from Tim Tebow, and join hands with other players in prayer instead.

Some Georgia Tech fans threw oranges onto the field, as the final seconds ran off the clock. Either the Yellow Jackets are going to play in the Orange Bowl, or those fans planned to get their vitamin C for the weekend by drinking peach liqueur in Tampa bars.

It's easy to forget that when Georgia Tech shared the national college football title in 1990, its bowl game was NOT one of the majors. The Yellow Jackets played at Orlando in the Florida Citrus Bowl. This was back in the good old days - when national title games sometimes were arranged through haggling by the highest bidder.

Saturday night's tilt in Tampa showed the difference between Atlantic Coast Conference football and Southeastern Conference football. The ACC title game did NOT sell out, only drawing about 57,000 fans. And it really says something when the Ledger-Enquirer doesn't bother to send a reporter.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We're always open to suggestions for a better blog. Here's the latest one....

Your blog could do with a graphic or two. Go find a small inexpensive digital camera, some photo manipulation software and use an original picture to break the monotony.

I just discovered your blog through my interest in Columbus and it's history. You have some very funny written scenarios so why not use some "Show n' Tell" to accent the story?

Here are some samples from my blog.

Thank you for sharing those -- but it's interesting that one of the "top ten posts" in the link only has a sports logo for Michigan State University. Apparently gas is too expensive up north to drive around for some pictures from faraway places.

We actually do have a digital camera, and we post photos here from time to time. This writer must not have seen last Tuesday's tour of the new Muscogee County Public Education Center. I didn't need "manipulation" for any of those pictures. Each shot of the building made it look equally expensive.

While some bloggers carry a camera everywhere they go "just in case," I don't normally do that. I certainly wouldn't take one for a two-block walk to the convenience store - because if I did, a beggar might offer to swap it for a half-empty bottle of soda.

Now let's see what else is worth a look this weekend:

+ Columbus Police reported a man was shot in the thigh on Buena Vista Road, while hosting a late-night party at his home. When in doubt, buy that extra bag of cheese puffs.

+ The Lee County Sheriff's Department raised $1,000, to buy a former deputy 50 pairs of handcuffs for use in Iraq. The challenge now is for Iraqi police to handcuff the drivers, before they load the dynamite in their cars.

+ The annual "SafetyCab" service to prevent year-end drunk driving began in Columbus. In fact, it began about a week earlier than usual. Are bars so desperate for customers that beer prices are dropping?

+ A horse shoeing specialist went to Fort Benning, to take care of horses on post at no charge. I can understand why he took care of the horses - it was too cold outside for the commanders to play a regular game of horseshoes.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.40 a gallon at Marathon on Warm Springs Road in midtown.... milk for $2.25 a gallon at Wal-Mart.... and someone to call TV stations Monday, complaining a Muscogee County school's heaters aren't working....

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (+ 12, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 DEC 09: I Said, Bend Those Knees

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

It's been a tough week for several well-known college football coaches. Notre Dame's coach was fired. Florida State's coach retired, several weeks after a university trustee called for his removal. And Georgia fired three assistant coaches - including the one man who could settle the issue of whether the city near Augusta is pronounced Mar-TI-nez or MAR-ti-nez.

Then there was the man who saw me wearing a University of Kansas hat at my Thursday night poker tournament, and declared without even saying hello: "Your head football coach was fired because he was an a****le!" First of all, he officially resigned. But if you're walking up to a total stranger and making a comment like that, what does that make you?

I hadn't heard about the resignation of Mark Mangino until this man came up to me. But I admittedly turned against him last Saturday, after Kansas lost its seventh game in a row to finish the season 5-7. My Jayhawks gave a new meaning to "running the table" - something like shooting the cue ball into all six pockets.

The seven-game losing streak was NOT what turned me against Mark Mangino. It was this statement he made in a post-game news conference, after losing to Missouri: "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees." If you've seen the size of the former Kansas coach, you might excuse this as a simple statement about his physical limitations....

An online check traced Mark Mangino's quote back around 90 years, to the Mexican revolutionary Zapata. His name is behind the Zapatista guerrilla movement in southern Mexico, which still fights to this day. But if he really was that successful, the El Zapata restaurant chain still would be open in Columbus.

Some people told me Mark Mangino was talking about not bowing down to demands from University of Kansas administrators that he make major changes. But the Christian in me took that quote very differently - taking me back to our topic of two Saturdays ago, about making light of prayer. I've heard ministers say the church of God moves forward on its knees. That could explain why needed changes sometimes very come slowly.

If you think you can live without kneeling to anyone, I beg to differ. My Bible says a day is coming is "every knee shall bow" before God. In fact, it's there a couple of times - in the Old Testament book of Isaiah, then in the New Testament book of Romans. If you don't kneel before God.... well, I probably shouldn't make comparisons to Monty Python movies....

If there's one person in college football who probably would agree with this, it's a player in today's Southeastern Conference football title game in Atlanta. If Florida quarterback Tim Tebow follows his recent pattern, he'll put a Bible reference under his eyes. Once Tebow joins a pro football team, he might be required to wear a corporate endorsement logo.

Tim Tebow is the son of an evangelist, an unashamed believer in God -- and yes, I know he has a lot of detractors across the Southeast. I read one online comment cynically calling Tebow "Jesus Christ." My response to that would be no - and I base that on the New Testament as well. Tebow's simply His spiritual younger brother.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Last Saturday we talked about meeting a Phenix City pastor at Thanksgiving dinner. That inspired a reader to share a similar meeting....

I met Rev.Cochran in the lobby of St.Francis Hospital as weI was waiting for an elderly relative to have a test done...I recognized him from TV and struck up a conversation with him..A member of his congregation had been a caretaker for my mom and frequently we talked about Rev.Cochran.He is a true gentleman and representative of God..In our conversation he never let the difference in our color interfer in his compassion for my situation..He gave me hope and promise of a better day..Thanks Rev.Cochran for that little ray of sunshine on a dismal day..

The fact that Raymond Cochran is African-American makes no difference to me, either. The other pastor I mentioned with his various trials is African-American as well. To me, the issue isn't the color of a minister's skin - it's whether his words are "true-blue." Even if the words of Christ in your Bible are red.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 362 (- 50, 12.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 DEC 09: Speedy Reader

You don't hear much about it anymore -- but the Evelyn Wood "Reading Dynamics" Course is still around. It promises to teach you how to read books at lightning speed, yet with complete comprehension. When Wood died in 1995, I assume the funeral service was over in less than 15 minutes.

There's something new in Columbus which takes "speed reading" to a whole new level. The Muscogee County Marshal's Office showed off a device Thursday that can read dozens of license plates every second. All they need to do now is combine it with the mechanical dog mascot, and "Robo-Cop" will be reality.

WXTX "News at Ten" reported the Marshal's Office received a $19,000 grant, to use the "MPH-900" technology for one year. MPH stands for "Mobile Plate Hunter." It is NOT intended to encourage you to outrun the technology on the highway by super-speeding.

Captain Curtis Lockette with the Marshal's Office said the MPH-900 can read 3,600 license plate numbers a minute. How many shoppers at Peachtree Mall could use a mere MPH-90 at this time of year, to find their cars?

The new technology is designed to alert law officers to suspended drivers and stolen cars. But the device isn't perfect - as a stolen car alert during an on-camera test this week turned out to be a false alarm. Apparently MPH-900 is too fast, even for the police department's office staff.

But I have a bigger question about the MPH-900 technology. Why does the Marshal's Office have it? Isn't the primary role of that office to handle paperwork for lawsuits, warrants and evictions? Are deputies driving through the Civic Center parking lot on hockey nights, looking for people who haven't paid their rent?

Shouldn't a device which reads license plates be installed in Columbus Police cars, instead of Marshal's Office cars? Or is Marshal Greg Countryman trying to show he deserves more officers, along with the police force? He lobbied openly for that last year - yet the Marshal's web site says nothing about applying for work there. Perhaps Countryman still recruits frustrated police officers....

Cases such as this may explain why Mayor Jim Wetherington lobbied so hard for an Office of Crime Prevention. The Director is supposed to coordinate efforts by the Police, Marshal and Sheriff. But the MPH-900 isn't really a prevention device -- so the departments apparently are allowed to fight about crime-fighting.

By the way, WTVM reported Thursday Columbus Police are still 21 shy of the "100 new officers" promised in last year's sales tax campaign. While 140 officers have joined the force since August 2008, 61 have left the force for various reasons. I think this means Columbus libraries now have the most experienced security guards in history.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of public safety....

If you are in law enforcement and aren't already a member of PoliceOne.com, you may want to go to the site and sign up. The information provided in their articles just may keep you from being arrested or FIRED for doing your job. It will keep you informed of Police Departments firing Officers for doing what they are paid to do because the departments are scared of what the news might say.

Brent Rollins

How interesting that this advice comes from a man who was fired from the Columbus Police Department. This is a rare case where misery does NOT love company.

We checked the PoliceOne web site, and found it has all kinds of news and information relating to law enforcement. Only a couple of old crime stories relating to Columbus are stored on the site - but you have to be a working law officer to check the site's forums, and exchange gossip about whom Chief Ricky Boren will promote next.

Let's see what else was worth checking on a chilly Thursday....

+ WXTX reported a three-ton weight limit now is in effect on the Brown Avenue bridge, between Martin Luther King Boulevard and Cusseta Road. This will affect more than truck traffic. Rappers who rent limousines may have to keep a couple of "posse" members at home.

+ The Enrichment Services Program began low-income winter heating assistance grants at the Liberty Theatre. One woman told WTVM she showed up at 4:30 a.m. to get help - which was smart, because she could keep the home heater turned off during the coldest hours of the morning.

+ Russell County School Board President Larry Laney told WRBL the board's big concern right now is dealing with a tight budget. Several other board members would agree with this - since that $64,000 buyout of the superintendent's contract seemed to come out of nowhere.

+ Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson announced he will resign from the legislature at the end of the month. I didn't realize until Thursday that Richardson's ex-wife had accused him of an adulterous affair with a lobbyist. Richardson may have been a political star in Atlanta, but he simply isn't Tiger Woods.

(Glenn Richardson revealed several weeks ago he attempted to kill himself. The House Speaker says he's battled depression for years, even as the Georgia Republican Party gained the most power it's had in more than a century. It sadly reinforces the view that conservatives are only happy when they have something to be unhappy about.)

+ WLTZ reported more than 12 percent of Georgia's households have no bank accounts. More people apparently believe that hype about the Mayan calendar and 2012 than we realize....

+ The Atlanta Thrashers lost to the New York Islanders 4-1. The Thrashers wore red jerseys at home - which is strange, since the team's promotions in recent years called Philips Arena "Blue Land." Maybe the St. Louis Blues and Columbus Blue Jackets finally complained to the league office.

+ Instant Message to Alabama Governor Bob Riley: I'm shocked - SHOCKED! You speak so loudly against gambling establishments, and then you make a wager on the Southeastern Conference championship game?! If Alabama wins, the Florida Governor ought to make you pick up his case of oranges at Victoryland.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Thoughts on "El Zapata," and an e-mail about Pastor Cochran....

To make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 412 (+ 19, 4.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 DEC 09: Will Walk for Food?

All the rain didn't stop me from talking a walk Wednesday afternoon. Trouble was, a person I encountered along the way apparently didn't believe I was walking. He wanted me to be a Columbus bank -- but lacked some trust.

BLOGGER BEGGARS #6-7-8: "How're you doing?" said a man standing near the east door of the Circle K on Fourth Street. We've noted here before that convenience store can be prime real estate for beggars. Sometimes I wish the stores would paint bright yellow spots where they can stand, so most visitors will know.

I walked in the west door of Circle K to buy a 99-cent bag of corn chips. But over the years, I've learned beggars usually wait outside that door - so now I exit through the east door, and head to the Fourth Street sidewalk to walk home. This man proved there's a rebel in every crowd.

"I'm OK," I answered after making sure the man was talking to me. "What do you need?" Why do I ask such open-door questions like that? Does the Open Door Community House even ask questions like that?

"I'm looking for two dollars, so I can get a sandwich," the man told me.

"Come on in, and I'll buy you something."

"I don't want chips or...." So much for offering my four-ounce bag as a last resort.

"They have sandwiches in here, sir." Such as turkey and roast beef on white bread, for about $2.50. Not that I normally buy them - not when Burger King can put beef on a bun and heat it up with cheese for only one dollar.

"I want barbecue," said the beggar.

"They might have that in here...."

"They don't. Believe me." But with every sentence, this man was becoming harder to believe. It was as if the manager of Circle K had X'ed him out.

The beggar in effect was saying he could only eat a barbecue sandwich. This was stunning -- since the vast majority of beggars I've met want to eat chicken. When I mentioned that to this beggar, another man cleaning the floor mat of his car at a nearby gas pump appeared to laugh.

"So it's barbecue or death...." I continued. This was not the first time I'd met a beggar in Columbus who could only eat one particular menu item. If there's a local doctor or dietician who's making these diagnoses, please contact me - there's a reality TV show waiting to happen here.

I didn't mention it to this beggar, but I couldn't meet his two-dollar request. I carried less than two dollars to Circle K, and already spent $1.01 on corn chips with sales tax. But I still wanted to help him, by putting his food purchase on my credit card. Maybe I need to knuckle under and buy those restaurant gift cards after all.

"I can walk over there for barbecue," the beggar said -- pointing in the general direction of Chester's at Sixth and Veterans Parkway.

"My car is two blocks from here," I offered in seeking a compromise solution. "Come with me to my car, and I'll drive you to get the barbecue sandwich."

At this point, the doubt level seemed to become mutual. "Your car is how far away?!" It's as if this beggar knew it's not safe to walk around the neighborhood, because beggars could be lurking anywhere.

I counted the blocks for the beggar, to get from Circle K to my car sitting at home. There was still light rain at this point, but this would have been easy. Well, should have been. "I'm hurt, man." He can walk three blocks to eat barbecue, two of them longer north-south blocks. But he can't walk two shorter east-west blocks to my car? Maybe it's a magnetic alignment problem....

The beggar started to suggest I drive my car over to Circle K - but that seemed like a ruse to me. A beggar in downtown Atlanta asked me to do that for him on a winter night 13 years ago, but my car was even farther away. By the time I reached his spot, another beggar waved at me and wound up in the passenger seat.

I finally persuaded the barbecue-seeker to walk two blocks to where my car was parked. I started walking down the Fourth Street sidewalk. He walked across the middle of the parking lot, as if he still might find my car there. Without meaning to do it, I walked faster than he did - subconsciously trying to get this finished as soon as possible.

"Forget it, man," the beggar said in the middle of the Circle K parking lot.

"You've made it one-fourth of the way, sir," I told him. "Only a block-and-a-half to go." The beggar was still on his feet -- it wasn't like he'd dropped to a crawl.

I walked back to the beggar, to get an explanation. "I'll be straight, man." Maybe he was all right, but I was exasperated.

"I'm trying to get you that barbecue sandwich, which is the only thing you can eat!" I actually jumped up and down a couple of times to reinforce the point -- shaking the barbecue dust inside my own bag of corn chips.

"I'm straight, man." The beggar gave no other explanation. I suppose at this point, I could have offered to carry him on my back - but somehow, I think the only way he would have been satisfied was if I put two dollars in his hand, and walked home without him.

Beggars like these admittedly bring out the frustrated angry side of me. Should I have offered to walk with him the other direction, to Chester's Bar-B-Q? Should I have gone back inside Circle K in the first place, to see if they really sell barbecue sandwiches -- or perhaps simply a bottle of barbecue sauce, since the bread itself didn't seem to be an issue?

Another person who asked for my assistance later in the day was much easier to handle. A player at my Wednesday night poker tournament asked if I could buy a soda for him. I had a restocked wallet at this point - and one dollar out of 20 isn't so bad, if you get paid 1,000 extra chips on the spot for it.

(I wound up playing in the tournament much longer than he did - which may prove a lack of alcohol in your system is no guarantee you'll think straight when you're betting.)

Wednesday's doubleheader brought our total number of encounters with local beggars at eight for the year. One we haven't mentioned came our way two Wednesday poker nights ago, when we stopped on the way home at the 14^th Street Circle K. A police car was stopped at the 15^th and Veterans Parkway store - so the needy people may have been out in bunches.

A woman saw me preparing to fill my gas tank, and said she needed money for "something to eat." At least she wasn't specific - nor apparently was she observant enough to ask a cab driver quietly parked nearby for help.

"I have food in the trunk," I told the woman. This was my second time to bring out a small "beggar bag" with a can of meat and a boxed beverage - although the first time I did it, I almost became stuck in mud at a flophouse blocks away [6 Apr].

"I'm trying to get some groceries," the woman clarified as she walked toward my car. It was after 11:00 p.m. in Columbus, Lewis-Jones closes at 10:00 -- and the last thing I wanted to do was drive a total stranger several miles to a Wal-Mart.

When I gave the woman a beggar bag, she took it and walked on. I don't recall her even saying thank you, or even pretending to act enthused about it. It was as if she expected to return to her hiding place, open the bag and find several pairs of discarded socks.

BLOG UPDATE: Wednesday was Russell County's turn to have a tension-filled governmental meeting. In fact, WRBL reported the School Board President threatened at one point to call in the sheriff - and since Tommy Boswell is leaving office in a year, he might have ordered everyone to be detained in a school gym overnight.

The Russell County School Board voted 4-2 to fire Superintendent Yvette Richardson, six months before her contract was up. While no one used the word, in 2009 I think this is called a forced Palin-ization.

The vote came at a specially-called school board meeting - a meeting some members complained was a surprise. They said they were kept in the dark about it until Tuesday. And in this case the phrase is fitting, since the ouster vote was along racial lines.

Russell County School Board member Keith Mitchell admitted he went to an attorney in October, to draw up papers to terminate the superintendent's contract early. Yvette Richardson confirmed she's talked with the district attorney about that topic, but "thought it was a joke." Richardson didn't live in East Alabama long enough to figure out a lot of people are lacking in the "sense of humor" department.

School Board Vice President Kenneth Barnes became so upset, he walked out during the meeting and refused to return. In this case, the "blind side" he experienced had nothing to do with that Sandra Bullock movie.

Yvette Richardson will remain on the Russell County School payroll six more months, only as a "consultant" and not a superintendent. And she'll receive about $66,000 in severance pay - which means she'll be able to drive back and forth to Birmingham as often as she pleases.

BLOG CLARIFICATION: It turns out the WBOJ-FM call letters moved with "The Truth" down the dial this week, from 103.7 to 88.5. The new "103.7 Lite FM" has the call letters WLTC - which probably means some listeners will demand to hear Stefanie Tiso present the morning news.

Now for other quick bits of Wednesday news:

+ The Columbus Airport wound up receiving more than 3.6 inches of rain. Parts of the Riverwalk were flooded again Wednesday afternoon - and if any more mud builds up near Rotary Park, I may have to start jogging there in hiking boots.

+ Chauncy Glover presented his final news stories on WTVM and WXTX, before moving to Jacksonville. Richard Hyatt's web site dared to call Glover a "bon vivant" - and why Hyatt would bring up Glover's alleged sexual preferences, I have no idea.

(We mentioned in October that Glover won a "Libby Award" for his on-stage work at the Liberty Theatre. I kept waiting for a newscast to put his name on the air with the words "award-winning actor" below it - but I guess that's not good for a news reporter's credibility.)

+ ABC's "Nightline" presented the first prison interview with convicted HealthSouth executive Richard Scrushy. Scrushy said his seven-year prison term punishes his family every bit as much as himself. Of course, things could have been different - had Scrushy hidden money better in the Cayman Islands.

(Leslie Scrushy revealed she was asked to leave a Christmas event at her Birmingham-area church, as her husband's racketeering case unfolded. So? An expectant mother named Mary was barred from some buildings years ago, and look what resulted from that.)

+ WRBL reported the University of Georgia is offering a scholarship to Carver High School quarterback Devin Burns for the second time. Considering the way that offer was withdrawn the first time, the Burns family should wait for a confirmation fax before driving to Athens again.

(Georgia head coach Mark Richt fired three assistant coaches Wednesday, including defensive coordinator Willie Martinez. Plenty of Bulldog fans probably will send him an appropriate farewell give - a plastic spaghetti strainer.)

+ Roundball Night in Dixieland (tm) found Georgia Tech topping Siena 74-61. Paul Hewitt of Tech faced the team he used to coach - and he's probably the only member of the Tech staff who knows how to pronounce "Siena" correctly.

+ The Atlanta Hawks tore up Toronto 146-115. The Hawks hadn't scored that many points in a game in 15 years - back when "Augmon-tation" referred to point guard Stacey Augmon, and not the figures of dance team members.

To make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 393 (+ 9, 2.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

2 DEC 09: Kip Kip Hooray

Well, that didn't take long! The polls closed in a local special election at 7:00 Tuesday night - and by 9:00 p.m. we knew the winner. See how much more efficient your government can be, when Republicans are the only candidates?

Kip Smith won the runoff to fill an open State House seat in Muscogee, Harris and Troup Counties. After almost winning outright in the general election, final unofficial returns show Smith smashed Steve Earles by nearly a two-to-one margin. It's almost like Smith borrowed a road grader from one of his father's highway projects.

Kip Smith will succeed father Vance Smith in the Georgia House next month. Vance Smith gave up the seat to become Georgia Transportation Commissioner. This family ought to arrange a Sunday dinner with the Hugley family, and get the big Columbus issues for the 2010 legislative session settled early.

We hinted at this issue when Kip Smith first announced his campaign - is it fair for the son or daughter of a politician to succeed that politician in office? The Republican voters in Georgia House District 129 clearly didn't mind. Maybe they figured tax money will be saved, by not changing nameplates in Atlanta.

But it strikes me that in a country founded as an alternative to monarchy, plenty of elected offices seem to stay in the same family for generations. The Republicans had two Bush presidencies out of three. The Democrats had the "Kennedy dynasty." And Alabamians even had the audacity to let Governor George Wallace be succeeded by his wife.

So far there's no sign that Columbus Councilor Gary Allen will run for mayor next year, seeking the position of his late father J.R. Allen. Given the events of last year, Gary's son Zach might want to settle for a campaign for dogcatcher.

The Sumbry family in Russell County is a bit different. The father is Phenix City's Mayor Pro Tem. The son is the county coroner. So city residents who think they're being taxed to death will have to deal with one or the other....

But as we said, voters in House District 129 didn't mind electing Vance Smith's son into office Tuesday. Kip Smith is promising some kind of "fresh ideas" - but I suspect many supporters really wanted a Kip off the old block.

When Kip Smith heads for Atlanta next month, he may encounter a man who endorsed his opponent in the runoff. Jerry Luquire will be lobbying there, as President of the Georgia Christian Coalition. Will these two men be able to get along? Or will Luquire be double-checking which Bible Smith uses to take the oath of office?

The runoff election produced a couple of curious moments. The Muscogee County Election Board reported the computers for confirming voter lists were slow for a while. This ended, of course, once everyone in the Government Center finished their Facebook updates for the morning.

And did you see WLTZ's scoreboards for the Georgia runoff votes? The screen during the 11:00 p.m. update called it "Decision '08." Why not call it "Decision '10, pre-season special"?

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We used a comment by a Georgia Senate candidate as a one-liner Tuesday. As they say in Congress, that candidate seeks consent to "revise and extend" his remarks....

Dear Richard,

Some people may be perplexed by the quote you attributed to me in your most recent blog post (1 December 2009). As you noted, the Lobby was not an ideal location for the event yesterday due to the lack of seating. It also was probably not the best spot given the sheer number of people at the event which made it quite warm. So of course my comment, made in jest, was that they could have spent some money to air condition the building.

But while on the topic of the building, I think it is important for people to understand that at least in the case of the Muscogee County Republican Party's resolution opposing expenditures on the building, that at no time did anyone argue that there should be no administration building. Rather we argued that the MCSD should be limited to the funds approved by voters.

Voters approved in 2003 approximately $12.3 million for a new School District Administration Building as part of an E-SPLOST placed on the ballot by the MCSD. Most people agreed that the old administration building was outdated and needed to be replaced. I have been told by a number of people that one of the reasons for the purchase of the Columbus Square property in 1999 was so that the old Sears building could be renovated and used by the School District as a new Administration Building, though my limited research has not revealed any reference to that plan in the Ledger or other public record. But in any event in 2003 the MCSD got voter approval to spend about $12.3 million on this project.

Some have called the financing for the new building a "bond issue", and I noticed last night that the program for the open house stated that funding came from "SPLOST and Certificates of Participation". In fact what happened is the MCSD entered into a lease-purchase agreement with an Atlanta private equity firm on the building. I do not know if the MCSD is still leasing the building or when it will actually own the building, but they entered into a lease-purchase at the outset. Why? Because that was the only way to raise bond revenue without seeking voter approval, a practice that was only recently made legal in Georgia.

It is widely agreed that the MCSD spent over $25 million on this project and some estimates actually put the total closer to $30 million.

But let's say you and I agree $25 million was spent. That was twice what the voters authorized in 2003 and comes to something like $250 per square foot. The reason I think so many latched on to the term Taj Mahal to describe this building was not only to reflect the extraordinary price tag of the building, but also of the attitude expressed by the majority of the Board that public input or approval of the additional money was irrelevant and unnecessary. Who knows if the MCSD had made the case to the people as to why the additional funds were necessary, the public might have approved it, as they did with the 2009 E-SPLOST.

The points that at least I and the members of the Muscogee County Republican Party who approved a resolution opposing the expenditure were trying to make were:

#1)--the School Board should be held to its word as provided in the plain language of the 2003 SPLOST

#2)--that if monies over and above the $12.3 million had to be spent, that the School Board should have to ask voters to approve such an expenditure and

#3)--that in the absence of seeking voter approval that the School Board at least seek public input before committing such a large amount of taxpayer money to a project.

It seems that at a time when unemployment is at 10%, when schools are suffering from overcrowding and teachers are having to be furloughed due to plummeting revenue at the state and local level, that it might have been the prudent course of action for the MCSD to have held on to that borrowing capacity and perhaps built a more modest building that could have been expanded as times, and sources of revenue, warranted.

Regards,

Josh

Yes, Josh McKoon -- I recall the talk of converting the old Sears building on Macon Road into a school district administration building. But as I remember it, asbestos then was found in that building. And you'll notice no one even speculates anymore about building a Wal-Mart store in that area.

The dedication program for the McPEC (Muscogee County Public Education Center) indeed says some of the funding came from "Certificates of Participation." I could get one of those for free, by taking a CPR review course.

This blog actually coined the phrase "Taj Mahal II" for the McPEC when the Muscogee County School Board approved a payment plan two years ago [25 Sep 07]. Newcomers may not realize the original Columbus Taj Mahal was the public library down the street, with a final cost of $49 million. But at least if your tour the library, you can buy souvenirs at a book shop.

If you think the McPEC really is a Taj Mahal, the designers actually could have done more in terms of embellishments. For one thing, the hallways on the upper floors are simply too narrow for holding indoor track meets.

State Rep. Richard Smith attended Monday's McPEC open house for a while. But I don't recall seeing State Senator Seth Harp there -- the man who claimed the administration building had critics at the state and federal levels [5 Dec 07]. Of course, Harp's too busy these days trying to raise his own matching millions of dollars. He's running for Georgia Insurance Commissioner.

Several former Muscogee County superintendents also attended the dedication -- including Dr. John Phillips, on whose watch the project was approved. Phillips told me he was given a private tour of the McPEC, before the staff moved in. I should have asked if the third-floor executive washroom matched his specifications.

It's been nearly a year since John Phillips ended his service with Muscogee County schools. Phillips told me he now does consulting work for the boards of several education-related companies. One deals with school construction. Another is involved with education software. But there's apparently none giving advice on hiring aides without prior school board approval.

There's one other quirk we found about the new McPEC, but we'll keep that in our pocket for another day. Let's check other Tuesday tidbits....

+ A big rainstorm moved into Columbus, strong enough to cancel classes at one area community college. Yet before it arrived, I jogged more than three miles non-stop on the Riverwalk. In my perfect dictionary, run comes before rain.

+ A Russell County judge dismissed charges of record tampering against Hurtsboro Mayor Rayford Tapley. It turns out former Constable Robert Schweiger now has the documents he wanted to see, but reportedly couldn't because an audit was underway. Schweiger can't wait to spill the beans about those records to WRBL's Tim Reid - as soon as Schweiger can find him.

+ The Alabama Public Service Commission approved a four-percent rate cut for Alabama Power customers. Some Barbour County residents might celebrate by leaving their front porch lights on all the way to daybreak.

+ Court officials in Birmingham reported a woman showed up for jury duty claiming she had changed her name to Jesus Christ. But she was excused, because she kept answering questions with more questions. If only Ms. Christ had quoted the Bible verse about not coming to abolish the law, prosecutors probably would have loved her.

+ TV sportscasts indicated Auburn's football team will play in Tampa's Outback Bowl. The game has an 11:00 a.m. ET kickoff on 1 January -- so for once, married male Auburn fans may get a break from being forced to watch the Tournament of Roses Parade on TV.

(Yes, I know - the Outback Bowl seems to be named after a well-known restaurant chain. But remember, this game is played in the South. So "out back" may refer to the football field sitting behind a clubhouse.)

+ The Auburn men's basketball team assailed Alabama A&M 87-52. For some reason, Tiger broadcaster Damian Fishback declared it a "critical point in the game" when Auburn led 63-35. What WAS the Las Vegas line on this game, anyway?

+ The Atlanta Falcons released placekicker Jason Elam. Elam shares the record for the longest field goal in National Football League history. But he made less than half of his field goal attempts this season, so he was.... well, you know.... Elam-inated.

+ Instant Message to the Claxton Fruit Cake Company in southeast Georgia: Did I hear it right on the noon news - your plant will make five million pounds of fruitcake this year? Do you keep track of how much of that is used as doorstops?

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

1 DEC 09: Palace Promenade

It had been decades since I attended a school open house. The last one I remember was in eighth grade - when Unified Studies teacher Ms. Loveless posted on the bulletin board my haiku called "Ode to a Politician":

I will give you all

What you have always wanted

After I get paid.

But the open house I attended Monday evening was a little different. It was the reception and dedication for the new Muscogee County Public Education Center on Macon Road. Let's get one rumor out of the way right now - the Superintendent and School Board did NOT eat caviar, or cut a gold-plated cake.

For some reason, Muscogee County School officials decided to have the dedication ceremony in the lobby of the Public Education Center. Everyone had to stand, where they most could have sat inside the board meeting room - and that fancy vote scoreboard wasn't even on display in there.

Before giving the invocation, Pastor Marlin Scott said visitors driving down Macon Road now can see the Public Education Center next to the main library, and "see that Columbus values education." Then they'll move on to see the empty storefronts next to Kmart, and wonder if the city overvalued businesses with taxes.

(Then Pastor Scott prayed for God's blessing on the school board "in Jesus's name." Let's see him try that in a school classroom at the start of today's session.)

"I cannot begin to tell you how charmed I am by this day," said School Board Chair Philip Schley during the dedication. Charmed?! This is what happens when the library system orders dozens of Harry Potter books....

Dr. Philip Schley described the new "McPEC" (as we've come to call it) as a "dignified, scholarly-looking building." Superintendent Susan Andrews later said someone compared it to a building in Washington, D.C. She meant the look of it - not the use of expensive bond issues to build it.

Philip Schley admitted other school boards considered it a bad time to build a new administration building - "but we took the bit in its mouth and forged ahead." Schley may have been thinking about horses, but critics of the McPEC will have another animal in mind....

Both the school board chair and superintendent thanked Columbus taxpayers, for making the McPEC possible. But I'd guess at most, only about 200 people showed up for Monday night's dedication and open house. The Columbus Tea Party didn't even march outside, to protest the building's cost.

The moving process to McPEC apparently is almost finished. Superintendent Susan Andrews declared "260 of us are now in this building -- with all our stuff." After looking around the three-story building, I didn't realize so many staff members had large high-definition TV sets to fit inside.

Each floor of the McPEC has conference rooms at opposite ends. One of them on the first floor has a long wooden table - and not one large flat-screen TV, but two. But that contraption in the middle of the table is used for conference calls. It only looks like something from an X-Box game.

I admittedly had an advantage over most of the other people attending the open house. I had three pages of giant "maps" of the building. In fact, they were much larger than any single guy is supposed to use....

This blog was first to disclose details of the McPEC layout almost two years ago [25 Dec 07]. It was based on preliminary schematic drawings - so I took them to Monday night's open house, to see if the final project matched the outline. In many ways it does. But I wished the building had the same grand staircase the library has, to avoid using elevators.

Working from the bottom up: the McPEC has the proposed ten offices for psychologists on the first floor. But the Director of Programs for Exceptional Students explained there actually are 19 staff psychologists, with two sharing an office. Isn't this amazing? After spending millions of dollars, some staff members still have to double up.

Peggy West told me Muscogee County Schools need 19 staff psychologists because "we have a lot of poverty," and trained people are helping troubled children stay out of special education classes. West added most of the psychologists are funded through state grants - which will lead critics to wonder why the McPEC couldn't have been funded the same way.

On the second floor, the preliminary plans didn't match the final product. I found Research Director Carol Bradshaw in a corner office, with a nice view of Macon Road. "They moved me four times," Bradshaw said of the planning process. When I was in grade school, the teacher usually settled for twice a term.

Then came the third floor, and the big question which was on my mind since I obtained the schematics. Did the superintendent's new office really have an executive washroom? While Susan Andrews wasn't there, secretary Wanda Cline confirmed she does. One former superintendent might have used it to hide from TV interviews.

"It's small," Wanda Cline said of the superintendent's private bathroom - but Susan Andrews "is proud of it. She says it's the first time she's had one since she was a principal." Wow - next time your school has an open house, don't stop simply at the room with your child's teacher.

Some staff members are happy the new McPEC has nice bathrooms of any kind. Information Technology Director Don Hall told me he had to walk outside the Roberts Center on Brown Avenue to use a bathroom - and that restroom was open "to the community" around the clock, seven days a week. Of all the ways to stay in close contact with the people you're serving....

Don Hall says the health of some people has improved, with the move to McPEC. Other staff members say they're able to work harder each day. So there - isn't the fancy new building on Macon Road worth all that money? Or will Bert Coker and Paul Olson show up at the next school board meeting, offering discounts on hand sanitizers?

The only real critic of Muscogee County Schools I spotted in the crowded lobby Monday was State Senate candidate Josh McKoon. When I asked what he thought of McPEC, he answered: "I wish they'd spend another $100,000 to air-condition it."

After taking a self-guided tour of the new administration building, I knew the appropriate place to go for dinner -- and it's less than a mile away. But amazingly, the Taj Mahal Indian restaurant on Auburn Avenue was closed Monday night. Perhaps the staff realized it was going to be upstaged....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We'll have more from the open house Wednesday, as we talk with a controversial former school leader.)

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Today is a "big switch" day in Columbus radio, and one reader is unhappy about it....

Richard,

I am disappointed that PMB Broadcasting has decided to move the Truth format to 88.5. 88.5 is not a Columbus signal - it is a Eufaula signal, with a tower at the southern edge of Stewart County. This station will never have a good Columbus signal because it is boxed in by Atlanta's WRAS on 88.5 and Auburn's WELL on 88.7. In North Columbus, 88.5 is static filled. To make matters worse, the signal sounds heavily compressed with digital artifacting.

J93.3 has a new application to increase power, but I don't know how well it will be received in Columbus.

Regards,

Thomas

WTMQ at 88.5 FM actually claims to be a "Lumpkin-Columbus" station. But I also noticed the other day that in northern Muscogee County, the signal is shaky. I'd borrow a Bible verse about the station being "blown about with every wind of doctrine" - except it doesn't put that many preachers on the air.

(Frustrated radio listeners probably will listen to "The Truth" online, anyway. The web site had not been changed Monday night, to reflect the new dial position. But how else did young worshipers learn the hip songs they play at Cascade Hills Church, before recent years?)

Thomas admittedly stumped me with his claim that WTMQ's signal has "digital artifacting." That sounds like something they ought to do on the TV series "Bones."

So what happened to WBOJ? At 12:00 midnight it became "Lite FM," playing nothing but Xmas music. So it looks like Columbus radio listeners now have a choice - have things "Sunny" or simply turn on a Lite.

We're holding another e-mail for this coming weekend, so now let's quickly wrap up the Monday news....

+ The U.S. Supreme Court turned down the latest appeal of convicted "Stocking Strangler" Carlton Gary. I think Gary is now only three appeals away from getting a sequel to the book "The Big Eddy Club."

+ WLTZ presented its monthly Community Green award to the Georgia Clean Air Campaign. This decision struck me a bit like giving the Ledger-Enquirer an award for being local newspaper of the month.

+ Former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney endorsed Kay Ivey for Alabama Governor. Given the news of the last 48 hours, anyone endorsed by Mike Huckabee probably will drop out of the race immediately.

+ The Atlanta Falcons announced quarterback Matt Ryan will miss Sunday's game against Philadelphia, due to turf toe. So Michael Vick will get to see what life was like in Atlanta, immediately after he went to prison.

+ An era ended at Turner Broadcasting in Atlanta, as TBS effectively fired baseball announcer Chip Caray. His late father Skip called Atlanta games for more than 30 years. Chip was part of the TBS broadcasting team for five years. Now no one is left to.... well, you know.... Caray on.

+ Instant Message to Fort Middle School: I didn't realize until Monday's big reception that your school has a ballet program. Talk about changing times! When I was young, our physical education class only had square dancing - and I thought "pas de deux" was that TV actress.

To make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 367 (+ 13, 3.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.