25 NOV 09: I Before E?

Long ago and a few generations of movie stars away, presenters at Hollywood awards shows carried nothing on stage. Someone had to ask, "May I have the envelope, please?" We felt like asking that Tuesday afternoon, after chatting with a Phenix City Councilor - but no, they're not handing out awards there for the King of All Liars.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE PART 2: Phenix City Councilor Jimmy Wetzel confirmed Tuesday he wrote the 5 November letter to Superintendent Larry DiChiara that we initially thought was a parody - the one where the first name is misspelled "Larrie" twice. Wetzel phoned me instead of writing a letter. That's OK - people have had trouble spelling Burkard for a long time.

The Councilor explained the Superintendent really started the "-ie" fuss. "He misspelled my name in his letter," Jimmy Wetzel said. That led me to scan Larry DiChiara's 4 November letter - which never names Wetzel at all. It doesn't even claim a City Council member is all wet.

"It was on the envelope," Jimmy Wetzel then added. He says the Superintendent had Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter personally pick up the 4 November letters, then hand-deliver them to the Council members. Wow -- are Phenix City schools so tight for funds that they're scrimping on postage stamps?

(You'd think Jimmy Wetzel would be happy with Sonny Coulter doing postal duty. That means the mayor probably was in his office at least once.)

"Jimmie Wetzel" is how the Councilor says his envelope was addressed. So he responded in kind, by writing to "Larrie DiChiara." Wetzel says the Superintendent should have known better, because "he's known me for years." I should have asked Wetzel if he made some of those late-night "angry parent" calls.

The hand delivery of the Superintendent's letter by "Mayor Sylvester" Coulter (as Jimmy Wetzel's reply calls him) may explain why Wetzel thinks there's a two-headed conspiracy against Phenix City Manager Wallace Hunter. Then again, Larry DiChiara seems certain there's a three-headed conspiracy against the Phenix City School Board - also known as a council majority.

We asked Jimmy Wetzel about several of his accusations against Larry DiChiara. Did the Superintendent use profane language in front of staff members, when he worked for the Lee County Schools? "I'll let that stand for itself," was all Wetzel would say. Translation: someone will have to e-mail us the secret recordings.

When it came to the contention that Superintendent Larry DiChiara wants segregated schools, Jimmy Wetzel was more detailed. He says it stems from a proposed school reorganization plan [6 Dec 05], which would have built a new grade school on the north side of Phenix City but NOT on the south side. Wetzel's argument could be summed up as "South Seale or No Deal."

Jimmy Wetzel notes the Phenix City School Board rejected the Superintendent's reorganization plan. But Board President Eddie Lowe later said a proposed primary school near Lakewood Elementary was designed "to attract white students from Lee County." Wow - bring segregation to Smith Station at the same time?!

Jimmy Wetzel added Phenix City is "growing all over," and developers of new southside subdivisions have requested annexation into the city. That's strange - a letter to this blog during the summer suggested Councilor Arthur Sumbry was recruiting homeowners outside town against their will [9 Jul]. And to be honest, Russell County HAS been more successful at baseball lately.

Councilor Jimmy Wetzel also is unimpressed by the new Phenix City Freshman Academy. He says the gymnasium alone cost at least four million dollars. But at least that gym is being used for big events, such as a high school wrestling meet last weekend. Now if Great Championship Wrestling please will reserve it once a month, so the costs can be repaid....

So is Jimmy Wetzel plotting what might be called an "Extreme Makeover, School Board Edition?" He left that question open, but said: "The citizens of Phenix City voted for change last year." The city council may get around to proposing its own health care reform plan in 2010.

Yet while Jimmy Wetzel told me about changes on several Phenix City boards in the last year, he noted the City Council voted unanimously to grant School Board member Florence Bellamy another term. Isn't this amazing?! I mean, the Phenix City Council being unanimous on something....

So now we have both sides of the latest "Phenix City Story." Councilor Jimmy Wetzel admitted to me he's poles apart on issues with Superintendent Larry DiChiara. Here's hoping both men learn the basic spelling lesson of our title today - and not put the "I" of self before the "E" of educating children.

BLOG UPDATE: Months of debate about public safety ended Tuesday night, when Columbus Council approved a new Office of Crime Prevention. But can't the name of this be adjusted a little? Make it something like the Crime Office for Prevention - so it spells COP.

The vote was 7-3 in favor of an O.C.P. in Columbus, with a Director and seven-person board. Councilor Gary Allen voted for it, after being absent last month. And Glenn Davis switched his vote from nay to yea - which shouldn't be surprising, since baseball players prefer people saying "yea" from the stands.

Mayor Jim Wetherington apparently gave Glenn Davis what he wanted, by announcing the Crime Prevention Director would have a lower city pay grade. The salary reduction is in the range of $10,000 to $14,000 - which could require the director to live in a lower-class neighborhood which needs crime prevention most.

Columbus Council also approved a seven-person Crime Prevention Board. The mayor will appoint four members. The council will appoint three members. And one of their first assignments could be to check all bridal shops for stashes of champagne.

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THE BIG BLOG QUESTION stemming from Columbus's big corruption trial closed Tuesday evening - and seven out of 11 voters said the acquittal of Mark Shelnutt should make a difference in the next round of voting for judge and district attorney. This should inspire Shelnutt to offer himself as a spokesman in campaign commercials.

The comments in our weeklong pathetically non-scientific poll reflected both sides in the Mark Shelnutt case. One supporter of the attorney called for an investigation of local law enforcement and prosecutors. But an opponent wrote the federal trial was filled with "so many improper things" - although Judge Clay Land drew a line at reporters sending Twitter messages.

One critic of Mark Shelnutt bluntly wrote: "Even his appearance is creepy." Aw, c'mon - Andy Griffith wore plenty of bright-colored sportcoats on "Matlock," yet he still won almost all his cases.

(That comment also described Shelnutt's supporters as a "cult-like following." I've never heard United Methodists compared to a cult before - but then again, maybe a hard-core Baptist wrote that.)

Another commenter brought up the fact that Judge Clay Land attends the same United Methodist church as Mark Shelnutt. "Why didn't the federal prosecutors object?" the writer wondered. The St. Luke schedule may offer an answer to that. Shelnutt plays in the 9:00 a.m. contemporary service, not the 10:55 formal one.

To answer a question from that writer: Judge Clay Land was appointed by President George W. Bush earlier in this decade, and confirmed by the U.S. Senate. So a longtime Republican sat over the trial of a Democrat attorney, and threw out four of the 40 counts during trial. Combine that with the Orly Taitz tussle, and Land could wind up on a short list for President Obama.

Mark Shelnutt gave his first in-depth interview since the federal trial Tuesday. He told WTVM the thought of him accepting "big bags of money" at his office are absurd. He's right, of course - as I've seen enough movies and TV spy dramas to know briefcases are more commonplace.

Mark Shelnutt expressed concern that federal prosecutors played selected short clips of secret recordings to Torrance Hill, to get the admitted drug dealer to turn against his longtime lawyer. Those prosecutors may be preparing for future work as producers for cable news channels....

Mark Shelnutt added he plans to write his book about his experiences of recent months. This could turn out to be the most unusual item ever sold on "Songwriters' Night" at The Loft.

As if these items didn't make Tuesday busy enough, there was other news as well:

+ The announcers with WBOJ-FM "103.7 The Truth" revealed the move down the dial to 88.5 FM (which we broke here two weeks ago) officially will happen next Tuesday. Afternoon host Brian Hite said going noncommercial "will give us a lot more freedom." Well, until a foul-up leads to a drought in donations....

(For those of you adjusting to the "New Truth," be sure you turn the FM dial all the way to 88.5. If you stop too soon, you'll wind up at a station whose founder practically says modern Christian music is a tool of the devil. Adding a drumbeat to "Amazing Grace" could turn you into a mindless zombie.)

+ Defeated Georgia House candidate Jerry Luquire was named the new President of the Georgia Christian Coalition. So Luquire will go to Atlanta after all - and as a former talk show host, he won't need any advance training in lobbying lawmakers.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer revealed RiverCenter Executive Director Enoch Morris is resigning. How ironic that his Twitter page is now out of service - the one with the shorthand name, "EX Dir Morris."

+ WTVM interviewed Billy Brescia, who's still selling homes in Columbus at age 92. When he tells you a home is historic, you'd better believe it....

+ East Alabama Medical Center announced smoking will be banned throughout its entire complex next year. I smell an economic opportunity here - with someone opening a "cigar bar" nearby for new fathers.

+ GPB News reported Kellogg's is laying off employees at its bakery in Augusta. Uh-oh - does that mean a cutback in Columbus is coming next? The thought of Keebler elves standing in line at the Career Center is almost too hard to comprehend.

+ Columbus State lost to Alabama State in men's college basketball 64-58. This game was unusual, because NCAA Division II Columbus State usually doesn't step up to play Division I opponents. But then, maybe the C.S.U. athletic staff was told only about the A.S.U. football program....

Our main topic the last two days was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 399 (+ 21, 5.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

24 NOV 09: Hello, "Larrie"

Sometimes I wonder if this blog missed the real target all along. Maybe it ought to be The Blog of Phenix City. The political fighting there nowadays puts our "Hurtsboro Mondays" of old to shame. And in Phenix City, there's more than one official doing all the grumbling.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiChiara says it's time to "fight fire with fire," in a dispute with the City Manager and a Councilor. DiChiara told me Monday he was blasted with profane language by Wallace Hunter, then falsely accused by Jimmy Wetzel. Imagine if Central High School's football game had missed the playoffs....

Dr. Larry DiChiara says the feud actually goes back to the Phenix Friday Football Fireworks Flap. We mentioned in passing three weeks ago [3 Nov] about Central High players signing a petition in support of the fireworks. One of the players happened to be City Manager Wallace Hunter's son -- and that made Hunter upset. If they all had been signing national letters of intent, that might have been different.

Your blog has obtained a letter the superintendent sent to the Phenix City Council 4 November. Larry DiChiara says City Manager Wallace Hunter called his home a week earlier about the fireworks petition, and chewed him out for 15 minutes with a series of four-letter words. And those words apparently did NOT include "boom" or "bang."

The Phenix City Superintendent says he never knew about the fireworks petition, and it was initiated by Central High School coaches at the request of players. Yet Larry DiChiara says the City Manager let him have it, with language he'd never heard before from any other public official - proving DiChiara never served on President Nixon's White House staff.

Wallace Hunter explained his concern, during a 2 November Phenix City Council work session we attended. The City Manager said his high school sophomore son is not allowed to sign anything without his permission, but the son felt "peer pressure" from fellow players and feared the Central coaches might not let him play. The "True Love Waits" promoters might want to walk carefully....

But Superintendent Larry DiChiara says in his letter the City Manager is "a professional," who failed to act like one on the phone. I'm against profanity, and don't use it at all. But if the Superintendent thinks "professionals" never use such language, he needs to spend some time in a professional sports locker room.

The letter to the Phenix City Council doesn't stop with that one phone call. Larry DiChiara says several months ago, Wallace Hunter publicly called him "a crook" to a school board member. Of all places, that reportedly happened at a barber shop - where you'd think cutting remarks are commonplace.

If that phone call to the Phenix City Superintendent seems strange, a reply to his letter may be even stranger. Larry DiChiara says Councilor Jimmy Wetzel sent an answer the next day - and intentionally misspelled his first name "Larrie" twice. We've also received a copy of that letter, which shows sometimes even tipsters can be fair and balanced.

To be honest, I thought the reply with Jimmy Wetzel's signature on it was a satirical parody. But Larry DiChiara assured me Monday the Councilor wrote it, and "he's very proud that he wrote it." If you're proud of your spelling errors in a letter to a school superintendent, you might be a redneck....

On top of the spelling "errors," Larry DiChiara notes Jimmy Wetzel addressed him as "Mr." instead of his title "Dr." The Superintendent also described that as "unprofessional." Yet I've heard some ministers say once you get a college degree, you should immediately "get over it."

We tried to reach Jimmy Wetzel for a comment Monday, but received no response to our messages. But the Councilor's reply letter defends City Manager Wallace Hunter, saying he phoned the Superintendent as "an angry parent." Wow - is that what parents do after 9:30 p.m. in Phenix City? It's clearly not your grandfather's "Sin Town" anymore....

Jimmy Wetzel contends the Phenix City Central "coaches, teaches and mentors illegally and unethically pressure[d] a 15-year-old student to sign a petition against his father and the city he works for...." This shows how times have changed in Alabama football. Bear Bryant probably couldn't motivate players at halftime today, the way he did one Saturday -- simply by calling them girls.

(You'll recall City Manager Wallace Hunter decided three football games with fireworks displays were enough. Who could have guessed a petition drive would bring another explosion - from him?)

Jimmy Wetzel's reply goes on to make several accusations against the Phenix City Superintendent. Larry DiChiara denied Monday he ever used "curse words" in front of employees at his last job, with the Lee County schools. Of course, that could have been so long ago that four-letter words beginning with D were still considered profane.

The most stunning accusation by Councilor Jimmy Wetzel is that Superintendent Larry DiChiara is "trying to return the Phenix City School System to segregation." The letter doesn't explain that any further - but I have a hard time imagining a school superintendent spraying "KKK" on people's cars overnight.

But wait, there's more! Jimmy Wetzel speculates in his reply the Superintendent is trying to discredit City Manager "Mr. Hunter" in a "conspiracy" with "your new found little protégé, Mayor Sylvester." How shocking is this?! I mean, for the Councilor to use a fancy French word complete with accent marks....

The man Jimmy Wetzel calls "Mayor Sylvester" is known to most Phenix City residents as Sonny Coulter. But the Councilor's letter declares the mayor "the King of All Liars." Come to think of it, when Coulter cited health reasons for giving up the mayor's job last time, no one checked the medical records.

The end of Councilor Jimmy Wetzel's reply hints at upcoming political fireworks. Superintendent Larry DiChiara told me Wetzel wants the Phenix City Council to make wholesale changes on the appointed city school board -- starting with board President Eddie Lowe next spring. Does this mean Woodrow Lowe is out of the running to coach the Central football team?

(Wetzel's letter accuses DiChiara of spending a large cash reserve "recklessly." DiChiara contends Phenix City Schools are low on funds largely due to state-ordered proration. So which side will make the first move, to put the Superintendent's name on the new Freshman Academy?)

Larry DiChiara admitted he's "very concerned" about Jimmy Wetzel and his Phenix City Council allies attempting to overhaul the school board - a board the Superintendent pointed out to me is "unpaid." But of course, 2009 has proven it only takes one bill in the state legislature to solve that problem.

Education issues dominated the Monday news headlines as well....

+ The Muscogee County School Board examined a shift of students for next school year, while a new Carver High School is built. Carver students would move to Baker Middle School. Baker students would combine with Marshall Middle School students. And the old Baker High School still would stand neglected - not even worth a fix-up project by Jordan High students.

+ Former Muscogee County School Athletic Director Charles Flowers told WRBL he'll retire from high school football coaching. Flowers won state baseball and football titles at Shaw. He's currently coach at Dougherty High of Albany. And if there's any justice, his next job will be connected with Flowers Foods of Thomasville.

+ The Sumter County Superintendent denied online reports that high school football coach Mark Wilson has given up the job. For one thing, Notre Dame's Charlie Weis still has one more regular-season game to coach....

+ The first-ever Columbus "Gingerbread Jubilee" concluded. Businesses and celebrities built gingerbread houses, to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network. I'm waiting for something a little better than this. Will some Columbus charity please hold a chocolate chip cookie-eating contest?

+ Georgia cooking queen Paula Deen helped unload food for a Thanksgiving charity dinner in Atlanta - but wound up slightly injured, when someone threw a ham at her face. Deen surprised the workers, by not preparing a batch of blood sausage on the spot.

(Former WRBL reporter Chris Sweigart beat me to the best line about this incident - Paula Deen being stunned by the "swine flew.")

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Quarterback Club: How nice of you to invite the Southeastern Conference Director of Officiating to Monday night's meeting. So did he rule the main course was chicken or beef -- and was he right?

Today's main topic was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 378 (+ 11, 3.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

23 NOV 09: SOA-What?

It was a chilly, cloudy and rainy Sunday - perfect for staying indoors and watching football games. The people who ventured outside again showed a north-south Columbus divide. People who live here in the South went to "Fantasy in Lights" at Callaway Gardens. People from up north went to the Fort Benning gates for a protest.

The web site of SOA Watch played things close to the vest Sunday night - reporting only that "thousands" of protesters showed up outside the Fort Benning main gate. In prior years, we would have seen a more precise number. Does that mean the turnout was down this year? Or do organizers realize they don't have to compete with God Bless Fort Benning anymore?

In prior years, SOA Watch regularly updated its web site as the big protest unfolded. But that apparently didn't happen Sunday -- and its unofficial Twitter feed has been updated only once since early September. It doesn't help your reputation as "lazy liberals" when you can't type a 140-character message once in a while.

SOA Watch reports four protesters crossed the Army's line, and were arrested for illegally entering Fort Benning. On Friday and Saturday, they could have gone to the headquarters of the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation without any penalty. That'll teach them to get absorbed with that double-overtime Notre Dame football game.

(The four accused line-crossers are scheduled to appear in federal court today. I don't want to tell these suspects what to do - but they might to stop by St. Luke United Methodist Church first, to find some character witnesses.)

Columbus Police Captain J.D. Hawk told WXTX "News at Ten" there also were a few tense moments Saturday, where officers had to warn protesters to stay in line. You may have brought the giant puppets, but police still know how to pull some strings.

The WHINSEC staff went ahead with its annual open house, answering questions from the protesters. That frankly surprised me, considering what happened at Fort Hood and last week's discovery of a threatening note in a Fort Benning box. Did guards at the gates check the wooden crosses, to make sure the ends weren't sharpened?

One member of the WHINSEC question panel was a graduate from the old School of the Americas. Linda Gould said some SOA Watch protesters are simply college students "getting extra credit for a sociology course...." This makes you wonder why the organizers of God Bless Fort Benning didn't offer extra credit to ROTC units.

(SOA Watch refuses to change its name, even though the School of the Americas is history. I think it's because the protesters are having trouble developing a protest phrase for WHINSEC -- such as "Western Hemisphere Institute for Shootings, Executions and Choking.")

While downtown Columbus's troop-loving event was moved away from SOA Watch weekend this year, a group based in Pennsylvania made up for it. That group bused in people to hold a demonstration on Broadway Friday afternoon. I'm not sure what they did after that. Perhaps the bus moved on to casinos in Biloxi.

There's speculation the big crowd of protesters for SOA Watch weekend might diminish, as related seminars on social causes are moved out of Columbus. But that would hurt the local economy, as busloads of protesters no longer stay in motels. And this was about the only weekend of the year when Ruth Ann's Restaurant was open for Saturday night dinner.

As the SOA Watch protesters leave town, have you ever wondered what happens to the wooden crosses with names on them - the ones left on the Fort Benning fence? Someone told me a couple of years ago they're simply thrown away. At least the Army has enough sense not to burn crosses in public in the South.

By the way, the SOA Watch web site reports the organization has been nominated for next year's Nobel Peace Prize. Aw, c'mon! The day that happens is the day Taylor Swift is named "Artist of the Year" over Michael Jackson, and that day will never.... oh wait....

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: With unemployment in Georgia and Alabama reaching record highs, we were tipped off Sunday to this....

I just heard from a friend on Long Island that there are help wanted signs in half the stores there..She said people there can't understand why people don't want to work

The explanation may lie in the fact that "stores" are seeking workers. Retail stores increasingly want someone with sales experience -- and applicants often have to pass lengthy questionnaires, to see if they're right for the job. Choose the "pass the problem on to a manager" option too often, and the manager may pass on you.

Maybe this reader's tip explains our top item from the other weekend news:

+ WTVM reporter Greg Funderburg announced online that he will leave the station in mid-December. He did NOT disclose where he's going. But for some reason, his last day is a Friday - and not a "Get Movin' Monday."

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington told the Ledger-Enquirer he expects Columbus Council to approve funding for the Office of Crime Prevention at Tuesday night's meeting. Maybe Frank Myers's lawsuit against The Courier was a warning shot for some people....

+ GPB News reported the Georgia Pre-Kindergarten program wants to begin teaching all four-year-olds mandarin Chinese. If you weren't concerned about China holding all that U.S. Treasury debt before....

+ The Atlanta Falcons fell in overtime to the New York Jersey Giants 34-31. The Falcons' record has dropped to 5-5, and the Fox telecast reminded viewers that Atlanta never has had back-to-back winning seasons. So? There's no better way to keep a team from becoming overconfident.

+ Instant Message to the driver of a four-by-four in downtown Columbus with the license plate "LEVEL80": I thought the Masonic Lodge was more secretive than that....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today have concluded, but you're welcome to read on for personal reflections on another local news item.)

BUT SERIOUSLY: It was stunning to learn Sunday of the death of Dr. Joseph Roberson. He was killed Saturday in a car crash in South Georgia -- only days after returning to Columbus, to testify in behalf of fellow United Methodist Mark Shelnutt. Hopefully local newspapers will avoid doing what a New York tabloid did the other day, and declare some kind of "Shelnutt curse."

Joseph Roberson gained a radio following as Pastor of South Columbus United Methodist Church, with the program "Getting on Top of Life." Then he went one step farther in 2004, and won a seat on the Muscogee County School Board. I attended a Sunday worship service Roberson pastored during the campaign [21 Jun 04] -- yet he never called me back to answer questions.

While Joseph Roberson was a church pastor, he was surprisingly skeptical of the efforts to offer "Bible Literature" classes in Muscogee County high schools. He wanted a panel of citizens to watch over the classes [19 Sep 06] - apparently to make sure teachers wouldn't turn into preachers. Roberson might have to spend time on Sunday correcting what students were taught Friday.

Joseph Roberson was satisfied with one term on the school board. He left last year, perhaps sensing a ministerial transfer was coming. He became a District Superintendent in south Georgia. May Roberson's family, friends and former congregation find comfort in the Scriptures, during a time of sudden loss.

COMING SOON: A reader challenges me to call a senior center....

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 367 (- 19, 4.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

22 NOV 09: March in November

First there was the Fountain City Classic parade. Then came the Veterans Day parade. And in a way, Columbus had a parade this weekend for the third Saturday in a row - proving some people are NOT ready for a parade rest.

This time the marchers were in midtown, not downtown. And surprisingly, they had nothing to do with SOA Watch. They picketed along Macon Road, outside the Publix supermarket - as if they want Cross Country Plaza to become famous for nothing more than Chuck E. Cheese.

The Publix picket line was set up by Florida farm workers, who say their pay for picking tomatoes has remained unchanged for 30 years. You can understand why they're upset by this - since bad stand-up comics who have tomatoes thrown at them are paid much more these days.

The "Coalition of Immolakee Workers" told WTVM it is paid 45 cents to pick 30 pounds of tomatoes. Hmmmm - that comes to 1.5 cents per pound. So why is Publix's current price for "tomatoes on the vine" $1.99 per pound? Does keeping the vine add that much weight to the delivery truck?

The Coalition of Immolakee Workers compares its situation to slave labor of the 19^th century. But who told these workers they had to pick tomatoes? Admittedly the unemployment rate is high, but at least they can apply for other jobs. I've seen one company beg for workers at the Columbus Career Center often - as if people simply can't get enough life insurance.

It also doesn't help their cause that tomatoes seem to be in abundant supply worldwide. People throw them around in Spain every summer - and I wish a local food bank would fly there and steal some crates, so all that fruit is put to better use.

The Columbus march was part of a Publix protest tour across the Southeast. The supermarket chain responded to a march in Tallahassee by claiming it's a matter between farm workers and tomato growers. If they need someone to officiate this dispute, call the Southeastern Conference - where the football officials get it right about two-thirds of the time.

Yet that excuse by Publix hasn't worked for other supermarket chains in recent weeks. Kroger and Wal-Mart cut their connections with a blueberry grower in October, after an undercover investigation found the grower used child labor in the fields. Do Publix executives really want Brian Ross standing outside the main office, waiting to badger them with questions?

(That case in Michigan proves one thing - while you might have "Strawberry Fields Forever," blueberry fields need to be carefully reviewed.)

If I wanted to stage a protest outside Publix, I'd complain about the fact that the supermarket chain tends to have higher prices than anybody else. Publix admittedly has a classier reputation than Piggly Wiggly. And Publix sells fancy-sounding items like "water bread" - as if bread usually is made from ginger ale or something.

Some of the seasonal specials at Publix almost sound like the chain wants protests. Take the current weekly ad, which offers a "Small Decadent Dessert Platter." Devout Southern Baptists simply will not settle for this - because it's a step down the slippery-slope to large decadence, and the movie "New Moon" already has enough of that.

In a way, Saturday's Publix produce protest (say that five times fast) was refreshing. It allowed me to postpone writing the annual run-of-the-mill SOA Watch jokes. We can combine all of those for Monday - and if those protesters want to make it a two-march weekend, that will almost cover Columbus until the Christmas parade in December.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Friday's review of Columbus stimulus projects sparked a reader's thinking....

Hi Richard:

Funny thing about that Rails to Trails funding is that we supoosedly collected the funds to pay for the trail from the Columbus Taxpayer during the last SPLOST. What happened to our tax dollars if they are not going to construction of the trail?

Just wondering since I am still walking or driving to the mall instead of taking the promised trail trolley.

We found a city Planning Department newsletter which says local sales tax provided the "initial funding" of $11 million for the east-west trail. The federal stimulus grant of more than one million dollars may reduce that cost. Or it may be used for nice extras -- and a few overhead lights might encourage more people to ride bikes on it after dark.

We're holding one other e-mail, while we wait for more information about it. So let's move on to other weekend news....

+ The Knology headquarters in Columbus had its second paper shredding drive of the year, called "Shred It and Forget It." So did any federal prosecutors show up, with records relating to Mark Shelnutt?

+ The Port Columbus museum received six old U.S. Navy cannons. They'll be displayed on the grounds, as soon as the staff concocts new stories about ghosts supposedly dwelling inside them.

+ The Centers for Disease Control released a county-by-county breakdown on national obesity. Our check of the maps found 30.5 percent of Muscogee County adults are obese, compared with 34.7 percent of Russell County adults -- which will reinforce the complaints about Phenix City having political "fat cats."

+ The U.S. Senate voted 60-39 to begin debate on health care reform. Alabama's Richard Shelby hurried back to Washington to vote no, after speaking to a conference of attorneys in Montgomery. Shelby may have told WSFA-TV the U.S. health care system is the best in the world, but the lawyers don't want to lose their right to sue for malpractice.

+ Kentucky kicked Georgia 34-27 in college football, to drop the Bulldogs to 6-5 on the season. Suddenly next week's showdown with Georgia Tech means a lot more - as coach Mark Richt might lose not only a winning season, but appearances in Ford F-150 commercials.

+ Alabama remained undefeated by chewing up Chattanooga 45-0. No one ever will mistake Bryant-Denny Stadium for a Chat-room.

(I read at least one complaint online about WXTX showing Mississippi State-Arkansas at first, instead of Alabama. Why watch a competitive football game, when you can see the equivalent of Jimmie Johnson racing someone on a motorcycle?)

+ Instant Message to the man on South Lumpkin Road who claimed the Tuskegee-Morehouse Classic is leaving Columbus, because Tuskegee University is upset: Tuskegee's Sports Information Director laughed at me when I told him that. If you really heard that on two TV stations, it's time you started using closed captioning.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 386 (+ 12, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

21 NOV 09: Bend Those Knees

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Before I could get out of bed, the trash-talking was underway. "I know you were nervous," my next-door neighbor yelled to employees of a next-door business. And this comment came weeks before a soldier claimed he assaulted less than one block from my house....

It was the Monday morning after Alabama's narrow escape over Tennessee in college football. My next-door neighbor likes to wear Georgia clothing, so he let the Alabama fans next door know he was unimpressed. If those workers reminded my neighbor of Tennessee's big win over Georgia two weeks before, I couldn't hear it.

But then my next-door neighbor declared: "Your knees had to hurt - you were praying so hard." That one admittedly made me laugh in my bed. I wanted to open the window and tell my neighbor, "Good line, bad timing."

A funny one-liner? Yes, it was -- but hold on a minute. What's wrong with getting on your knees and praying? I did it a short time later, to officially begin my day. Admittedly, I never pray about the outcome of football games - but then, I also don't bet money on the outcomes.

With Thanksgiving Day approaching, we ought to be focusing on more than a big dinner. We even should focus on something bigger than family members who might come to visit. There's no better time to get on your knees and thank God for the blessings you have. For a dinner, for your family -- and OK, maybe a TV set to watch football instead of the final score.

Luke 18 in the Bible begins with a parable of Jesus - a parable with a purpose: "....that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." Admittedly, I've mixed these two from time to time. I didn't mean to do it, really. But kneel by your bed for a last prayer of the evening, and you might wind up asleep with no circulation in your legs.

If praying is new to you, the middle of Matthew 6 has a "prayer guide" spoken personally by Jesus. But don't overlook the verse before it warning: "....use not vain repetitions." I've heard emotional radio preachers insert "praise the Lord" all over their messages - even after they mention people robbing each other in big cities.

If you feel a need to make a "thank-you" list before praying to God, that's OK. It's a good idea to stop and count your blessings. It beats ad-libbing your thanks at the Thanksgiving table, while holding a large carving knife in your hand. Unless you're offering a sacrifice to God, that simply doesn't look right.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (- 50, 11.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

20 NOV 09: Stimulate Your Thinking

As of today, the Barack Obama presidency reaches the ten-month mark. Democrats in general still seem to like him. Republicans in general still seem to loathe him. And China's Communist leaders seem to side with the Republicans - because they were concerned about the President indoctrinating people on television.

Have you been following the news reports about errors on the federal "Recovery" web site? The site details where stimulus money is going, yet it's listed congressional districts which don't exist. Wow - maybe Republicans are right, and the Obama administration is trying to rig next year's census.

I wondered if the Columbus area's stimulus projects are listed accurately -- especially after White House officials announced this week most of the errors on the web site had been corrected. But as of Thursday night, several obvious mistakes remained. Clearly White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs hasn't brought his Auburn background into this department.

It's a bit hard to pinpoint Columbus on the Recovery.Gov map of Georgia. So many dots are bunched together that it's difficult to determine exactly how many stimulus projects the area has. At first we found 32, then 31, then 37 - as if visitors to Wikipedia were put in charge of it.

So what errors did we find in the stimulus breakdown? Here's our list....

+ Five separate aid recipients are listed as the "County of Columbus." Close, but not quite. Maybe Rep. Sanford Bishop's children should head to Recovery.Gov for their next jobs, to fix this.

+ Money is allocated to "Boys and Girls Club of the Arkansas River Valley." Arkansas?! That sounds more like Wichita than Columbus - and the folks in Washington probably mispronounce it like the state, too.

+ The Georgia Department of Technical and Adult Education allocates work study payroll money to Columbus, to create or save 2.10 jobs. Does this mean someone at Columbus Technical College only works four hours a week? Or is that one-tenth worker a midget?

+ A dot in eastern Russell County reveals the Alabama Department of Transportation has an even smaller stimulus project. It creates or saves 0.04 jobs - which sounds like the money is paying for a highway flag-waver's lunch breaks.

The most visible stimulus project in Columbus is the "rails to trails" path under construction across the city. A couple of large buildings are being built along the trail. They look like rest stops - but I suppose they could double as rally sites for Democratic candidates.

But one project listed for Columbus has the sort of strange wording you've come to expect from the federal government. More than six million dollars is allocated for "redesigned polygons," which also could be created brand-new or redrawn. They're apparently connected with base realignment - although I'm not sure Fort Benning needs a small-scale Pentagon.

I need to recover a bit after a busy week, so we'll end the web review there and move to some Thursday headlines:

+ The Courier disclosed attorney Frank Myers is suing the weekly paper on grounds of libel and defamation. It stems from a March column by Brother Love which linked Myers to Mayor Jim Wetherington, and declared the mayor a "Godfather" over the city. If the mayor really was a godfather, wouldn't a couple of Councilors objecting to the Office of Crime Prevention be dead by now?

(A response posted at The Courier's web site claims Brother Love's column was simply his opinion, using "rhetorical hyperbole." And publisher Wane Hailes could have gone farther - by putting mug shots of Mayor Wetherington and Frank Myers in "The Joint.")

+ Heath Taylor officially launched his campaign for Russell County Sheriff. WTVM reported more than 500 people attended a rally, including outgoing Sheriff Tommy Boswell -- far too many people for Ralph Johnson to consider moving to Phenix City.

+ General David Petraeus of the Central Command visited Fort Benning, to honor one particular graduate of the Officer Candidate School. Lt. Peter Sprenger has been allowed to continue serving in the Army, even though he has only one eye. Send that superhero to Afghanistan, and we should find Usama bin-Laden once and for all.

+ WTVM showed a Columbus home that's on sale for $1.35 million. The house has five bedrooms and a "saltwater pool." No wonder it's worth more than a million dollars - someone has to truck in a new tank of water from Panama City Beach every week.

+ At the other extreme, members of a Columbus State University fraternity slept outside overnight. It was a fundraiser for the Homeless Resource Network -- but if no one drank Thunderbird around the sleeping bags, it wasn't quite realistic.

+ The University of Georgia football mascot "Uga VII" died in Savannah. It's weird enough when the death of a bulldog tops the evening sportscast. But when Coach Mark Richt issues a statement of sympathy about the dog's death.... well, is Richt overconfident about beating Kentucky this weekend?

(The keepers of Uga VII say the bulldog had a sudden heart attack. But there's one lingering question on my mind about this death. Was Uga VII wearing a black sweater, or a red one?)

+ An NCAA report showed 49 percent of Georgia Tech's football players get diplomas within six years of starting college. This low percentage probably shouldn't be surprising - since the players want the "Modern Languages" degree to translate Payton Manning's quarterback signals.

+ Instant Message to whomever posted an "attack cow" warning sign on their property in Chambers County: You're kidding, right? I mean, why would anyone really "beware of Lulu?" Unless it was Lulu Roman from the old "Hee Haw" series, running toward me at full-speed....

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 424 (+ 6 , 1.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

19 NOV 09 (final): Mark's-A-Lot

I drove by the Columbus federal courthouse around 1:15 p.m. Wednesday, and quickly concluded the Mark Shelnutt jury was still at work. For one thing, a bit WLTZ van was parked outside the door. For another thing, there was no confetti on the sidewalk celebrating an acquittal.

The confetti may have been thrown about two hours later - after a federal jury acquitted attorney Mark Shelnutt on all 36 remaining counts against him. So where did Shelnutt's victory tour begin? At the St. Luke United Methodist Church Wednesday night supper -- or at the Muscogee County District Attorney's office?

Reporters in the courtroom say Mark Shelnutt's relatives cried as the 36 NOT guilty verdicts were read. Shelnutt then broke down in tears, while answering questions outside. Before long, he may have others crying with him - as Shelnutt is a songwriter, and this is a country ballad simply waiting to happen.

While I didn't attend the Mark Shelnutt trial, the news media reports last week led me to guess he would go free. After all, when a prosecutor admits in open court he lied to Shelnutt to get information from him.... well, some people in Columbus actually want their public officials to be honest.

Then there was the evidence indicating "star witness" drug dealer Torrance Hill didn't want to turn against his attorney in the first place. It's easy to understand why. Prison inmates don't have access to that many lawyers - and Gary Bruce didn't become the "good guy" by representing known bad guys.

WRBL was first to interview a member of Mark Shelnutt's jury. Patricia Jackson said she does NOT consider Shelnutt completely innocent - but the federal indictment was poorly worded, compared to the language of federal law. For instance, how do you "corruptly" offer free Georgia football tickets to someone? Especially if they're not wrapped inside an Auburn T-shirt?

The prosecutors had little to say to reporters after the verdict was announced. Carlton Bourne said he accepted the jury's decision - and that was about it. He'll now be in hiding in Macon, until President Obama appoints a replacement.

Mark Shelnutt's attorneys suggested the federal case had political motives -- and they very well could be right. Remember the envelope left at our front door last December, with a DVD and court transcripts? [9 Dec 08] Now that the verdict is in, I feel comfortable revealing clues about its origin. Especially since I was NOT called as a witness during the trial....

After closely checking the DVD from last December, I've found evidence indicating it was prepared in part on a Columbus city computer. And it was done by an assistant to former District Attorney Gray Conger -- someone who is NOT working under Julia Slater now. I'd go even further, but I might have to hire Mark Shelnutt to defend me in a lawsuit if I did.

This detail could matter, because Gray Conger has been rumored as a candidate for federal Magistrate Judge. But I have to note Conger seemed as surprised by the December DVD at the doorstep as I was. He called me to ask if we knew who delivered it. I had a guess then, which is more educated now -- and FedEx will be disappointed to learn it has nothing to do with this.

But back to the trial: former Columbus Mayor Frank Martin told WTVM Mark Shelnutt still faces a difficult future. He has to regain his law firm's reputation, and might have to charge lower fees. That's OK by me -- the fewer trips to Schomberg Road with boxes of money, tbe better.

Attorney Frank Martin said truth be told, most lawyers probably have accepted "drug money" at some point. And we're not talking about Ken Nugent suing the makers of Vytorin....

But Frank Martin added many hospitals probably also take "drug money," when pushers and abusers go in for medical treatment. Why does almost every topic these days come back around to health care reform?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION we posted Wednesday night was offered to us during Mark Shelnutt's trial -- but we decided to hold it until the verdict was announced, then adjust it a bit. Should the verdict make a difference in two local upcoming elections? Will it matter to District Attorney Julia Slater? Should any local judges be nervous? And for a side issue, should Shelnutt now release a music CD?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Reaction reached us quickly about the Mark Shelnutt verdict. And of all places, it came from a north Georgia author....

As some of you know one of my greatest supporters during the research for MIBC, Attorney Mark Shelnutt, has been in the fight of his life with the Federal Govt. and has had a 40 count indictment of the most ludicrous criminal charges imaginable hanging over his head.

However, today he was found Not Guilty on all those counts and I want to publicly congratulate him for holding his own and rising up from a situation that must have felt like the depths of hell for the whole Shelnutt family.

Breathe easy dear friend, the sky is the limit!

Cilla McCain

McCain's abbreviation is for her upcoming book "Murder in Baker Company," about the killing of Fort Benning soldier Richard Davis. I hope Shelnutt didn't store any of Davis's personal belongings in his bedroom kitty box.

Another e-mail reached us early Wednesday, hours before the verdict was announced:

don't know Mark Shellnut and the only info I have on his case is from the media..However,do you think there is a motive for his recent marriage?..Remember, a wife does not have to testify against a husband..

Late Tue afternoon I was watching WTVM news..THe weather came on and the reporter said, "Today (Tue) was a beautiful day"..I thought something is wrong here because at my house it was raining..At the top of the screen was the banner that said,Monday...They were evidently using a tape of the wrong day...

Hmmmm -- a motive for marriage?! I would never think of comparing Mark Shelnutt with Anna Nicole Smith.

But here's the thing: when ex-wife Chris Shelnutt took the witness stand, she testified for the defense. So come to think of it, the government "witch hunt" even had some limits to it....

I didn't see the weather forecast mentioned in this e-mail. Maybe the reporter who declared Tuesday beautiful has a second job selling rain collection buckets.

BLOG UPDATE: Don't worry, legal eagles -- we may already have the next hot Columbus court case. WLTZ's web site has dubbed Judy Wilkinson the "Mimosa Madame." People who live on Mimosa Street in Midtown should send their angry e-mails to Julie Bercik.

A Recorder's Court judge found Judy Wilkinson guilty Wednesday of serving alcohol without a license at her Formal Elegance bridal shop. Wedding planners should learn a lesson from this -- and save the "champagne kisses" for the reception.

The Recorder's Court judge sentenced Judy Wilkinson to 30 days of probation - but she's appealing the conviction to state court anyway. Wilkinson explained she's received plenty of support from the business community. How ARE they opening eyes at the Chamber of Commerce eye-opener breakfasts, anyway?

Judy Wilkinson admitted she's not sure how this case will affect her position on the West Point City Council. If other Councilors send her wine baskets as Thanksgiving gifts, I guess we'll have the answer.

A few things happened Wednesday, away from the courthouses....

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington declared it "Charlie Daniels Day" in Columbus, as the singer performed a benefit concert at the RiverCenter. Directors of Camp Laughing Child admitted last week on WBOJ-FM the ticket price might make it "a sacrifice to attend...." For some of us from the North, a Southern rock concert would take some sacrifice at any price.

+ The Columbus Civic Center held a one-day "fire sale" of Kelly Clarkson tickets for $14.99. Uh-oh -- is this concert in trouble, as Darius Rucker's reportedly was? Does Clarkson need to appear with some WWE wrestlers?

+ WRBL reported the new Kia plant in West Point soon will have its own bank. If the tellers demand gold instead of dollars, be afraid -- be very afraid.

+ Ron Nelson confirmed he will NOT return as Phenix City Central football coach next season. Instead, he's hoping to be the honorary launcher of the fireworks at Thunder on the Hooch.

+ Columbus State University's basketball teams had "Cougar Madness" night, to promote the new season. Most major colleges do this at midnight on the opening night of practice. But the C.S.U. coaches realize they could only get a crowd at midnight by setting up baskets outside Victory Drive clubs.

+ Kellogg's announced the Atlanta-area flooding of last September will mean a stoppage in frozen waffle production, perhaps until next summer. Yes, we could have a nationwide Eggo shortage -- and the cries to "leg-go my Eggo" potentially could turn violent.

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 418 (+ 14 , 3.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

UPDATE 2....

18 NOV 09: Closing Time

Sometimes it can be awkward to have a member of your family on jury duty. When I was a boy, my mother never would tell me the details of cases she was hearing - only something vague, like it was a "civil" case. Yes, even in my youth I tried to do investigative journalism....

So Tuesday night must have been interesting in the homes of Mark Shelnutt's jurors. They are NOT sequestered in a hotel, and Federal Judge Clay Land has instructed them throughout the trial not to read or watch anything about the case. So if the jurors don't explain a big jump in our blog readership Tuesday, it must be the attorneys.

The jury in the Mark Shelnutt trial retired for the evening, after four hours of deliberations. TV reports noted there's 36 counts to decide, and a lot of evidence to consider. The jurors certainly have learned one thing -- if they work through lunch, be sure to get a receipt for the food.

WRBL reports Judge Clay Land told the jury NOT to come to him with reports of 7-5 deadlocks. He said the only score he wants to hear is 12-0. I think that means Land is rooting for Carver High School to beat Woodward Academy in the playoffs this weekend.

Judge Clay Land's instructions included this comment: "You will never have to explain your verdict to anyone." The Ledger-Enquirer web site actually posted that sentence -- yet that's where you'll probably read interviews with jurors this weekend.

The instructions to the jury also included a statement that it's NOT against the law for attorneys to be paid in cash. It simply looks odd in 2009, when almost everyone has a credit or debit card.

Each side in the Mark Shelnutt trial had 90 minutes to present closing arguments. Prosecutor David Stewart claimed the defendant "tried to take control" of a drug-running conspiracy. Yet if Torrance Hill owns race cars and Shelnutt only invests in baseball cards, who's really in control here?

Prosecutors claimed Mark Shelnutt received much more than attorney's fees from Torrance Hill - he received "drug money." Shelnutt is accused of trying to hide that money in a bedroom safe, along with real estate investments from Florida to North Carolina. And imagine what could have happened if Bernard Madoff ever visited Columbus.

U.S. Attorney Carlton Bourne focused on the list of Mark Shelnutt held on a secretly-recorded videotape. Bourne argued Shelnutt broke the law by calling Torrance Hill's ex-wife to collect "drug money." But no one brought forward a collection agent from Bill Heard Chevrolet, to confirm the ethics of that.

Defense Attorney Tom Withers told the jury Mark Shelnutt has done nothing wrong - and the federal investigation has left him a "shattered man." Not so shattered that he couldn't find a second wife to marry in recent weeks, but still....

Tom Withers also argued law enforcement officers went too far, in an attempt to ruin Mark Shelnutt's reputation. He even accused a member of the Metro Narcotics Task Force of going out to "infect the community." C'mon now - I don't think narcotics agents seized the champagne at Formal Elegance.

I didn't realize until Tuesday night that Tom Withers lives in Savannah, and fellow defense attorney Craig Gillen is from Atlanta. Columbus has dozens of attorneys -- so why wouldn't any of them represent Mark Shelnutt? Do they still think he's going to run for Superior Court Judge next year?

If you want a good private look at the activity outside future federal trials, we received an offer in the mail which could interest you. A loft apartment in the 1200 block of First Avenue is on sale right now. But the price is about $174,000. And somehow, I have a feeling the realtor is going to demand payments over at least 15 years - by check.

While much of Columbus holds its breath awaiting a verdict, other things of note are happening....

+ Phenix City-Russell County Library officials told the city council they're seeking a matching grant to expand its parking lot. So the library had to reduce hours and staffing because money is tight - but it can find the money for new pavement?!

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley toured a recycling center in Auburn. Riley stopped short of urging the state House and Senate to change the rules next year, so he can be recycled for a third term.

(The Governor told reporters the recycling center in a residential area of Auburn is "clean, with no smell." He could have made a comparison with the upcoming state legislative session, but....)

+ The Atlanta weekly paper "Southern Voice" went out of business, citing a lack of money. The tabloid focused on homosexual-related news. I heard a local pastor claim two years ago the Southeast drought was due to Atlanta embracing the homosexuality -- so this shutdown finally could explain all the rain.

+ Wofford whipped Georgia in men's college basketball 60-57. I hesitate to call this an upset, because the Bulldog basketball team struggled last season - and because the Georgia coaches might have called another "blackout" night.

+ Instant Message to President Obama: Whatever you do in South Korea, do NOT drive a Kia. Fox News Channel will show video of the West Point plant, and declare you anti-American all over again.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 404 (+ 18 , 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

17 NOV 09: A Dry Eye in the House

Don't worry, Mark Shelnutt supporters -- we'll get to the defense's case. But we try to make this a humor blog first, and another Monday news item offered much better joke material. Prospective brides, undercover police, a city council member, champagne - I mean, what's not to like?

The owner of a Columbus bridal shop was in Recorder's Court Monday, and is due to return today. Judy Wilkinson happens to be a member of the West Point City Council - so being stuck in court on one of the biggest days in West Point history had to be embarrassing. And to make things worse, Columbus police don't drive Kia patrol cars.

Judy Wilkinson was arrested over the weekend on charges of serving alcohol to customers at the Formal Elegance bridal shop on Veterans Parkway. I thought these businesses stopped at letting brides try on gowns - not displaying test bachelor parties.

Columbus Police say they received several complaints about Judy Wilkinson serving alcohol at her bridal shop. The likely prime source of these complaints is sitting right across Veterans Parkway - and Beacon Seminary might go after Mellow Mushroom Pizza next.

So over the weekend, an undercover police officer went inside Formal Elegance. A male officer claimed to be shopping for tuxedos - but apparently was ready to use a cummerbund as a restraint device.

Police say the undercover officer saw Judy Wilkinson serve mimosas to several customers - a mix of orange juice and champagne. If this is true, it's simply shocking to me. I thought Vera Wang became a famous bridal gown designer because of artistic creativity - not because alcohol led to stupefied brides.

At this point in the story, Judy Wilkinson's attorney says Columbus Police really went too far. Officers apparently went inside Formal Elegance, seized the alcohol, arrested the owner and hauled her downtown for processing. If the producers of "Bridezillas" read this blog, I'm hereby trademarking the name "Copzillas" for any spinoff reality shows.

The attorney for Judy Wilkinson announced in Recorder's Court she's filed a complaint against Columbus Police. She claims the nature of the arrest in front of other customers was embarrassing. David Caruso of "CSI: Miami" might have answered that by saying, "Don't serve the drink, and you'll stay out of the clink."

(This complaint by a business owner's attorney seems a bit absurd to me. More people probably drive by the arrest of a DUI suspect, yet do drunk drivers file complaints? Have we reached the point where police have to take cubicle walls to a crime scene?)

Judy Wilkinson's attorney says when she obtained a city business license for Formal Elegance, she wanted permission to serve alcohol - and she thought the license office had filled out the paperwork properly. Police witnesses in Recorder's Court claimed no such permit was in the paperwork. I'm not sure disco singer Evelyn "Champagne" King could even make a comeback in Columbus.

The attorney for Judy Wilkinson wants the charge of serving alcohol without a license dropped, because of a city employee error. Police might respond she didn't have to serve champagne inside a bridal shop in the first place. She could serve alcohol-free "Fauxmosas." Or I suppose she could promote her business at a golf club, by serving Fore-mosas.

But Columbus Police Chief Ricky Boren told the Ledger-Enquirer Judy Wilkinson still might be in trouble, because she offered mimosas free of charge. Longtime residents may remember the night in the 1990s when the RedStixx baseball team was barred from selling 25-cent beer. Some things in Columbus simply are considered too valuable to give away.

Whatever the outcome, this case of champagne alcohol sales arrest probably surprised a lot of people. Who could have imagined Columbus bridal shops were offering mixed drinks to customers? This might spark protests outside Men's Wearhouse, from guys demanding similar treatment.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Closing arguments are expected today in the federal trial of Mark Shelnutt. Well, I mean arguments by the attorneys in the courtroom. Arguing between Shelnutt's supporters and critics might not close for years to come.

Federal Judge Clay Land dismissed three more counts against Mark Shelnutt Monday, at the prosecution's request. That leaves 36 counts out of 40 for the jury to consider - which could allow prosecutors to argue a tithe already has been removed for the minister's son.

WRBL reported the federal courtroom was packed Monday with members of Mark Shelnutt's church. Shelnutt took the turnout from St. Luke United Methodist as a show of support. But I wonder how many showed up to see if Pastor Hal Brady would tell off everyone in the courtroom, for violating the "false witness" commandment.

Pastor Hal Brady was called as a defense character witness. He testified Mark Shelnutt offered legal services to several people at no charge. The legal phrase for such work is "pro bono" - although no evidence has been introduced to prove Shelnutt is in favor of the music of Sonny Bono and Cher.

Another defense witness Monday was Mark Shelnutt's ex-wife, Chris. She told the court she handled the bill-paying at home, and the attorney kept cash in a "kitty box" in the bedroom. If thousands of dollars were kept there, that would make Mark Shelnutt look more like a fat cat....

While Muscogee County District Attorney Julia Slater has NOT testified in the trial, a member of her staff did Monday. Jennifer Dunlap joined the D.A.'s office from Mark Shelnutt's law firm -- but no, I do NOT think one of the 36 counts involves being an on-the-spot professional reference in a job interview.

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of our contestants in Monday's "Ultimate Guy Championship" offered a quick response - and thankfully, Torrance Hill did NOT put out a contract on me....

Thanks for the nomination, Richard, also on behalf of Fox 54's "For Men Only" segment. Read your blog this AM and for the record, I don't drink or smoke cigars, I love to cook/grill, Not big into fishing, and yes Ride in style in my Honda Odyssey minivan.

Our apologies to Jason Dennis for calling his segment on WXTX News at Ten "Just for Men." We confused it with WLTZ's "Just for Her" segment. Now which Columbus TV station will dare to begin a daily feature on bisexuality?

We added up the score Monday for our four contenders - and sadly, drug dealer Torrance Hill seems to be the Ultimate Guy champion. We registered him positive on three of the six standards. Jason Dennis rates slightly above Mark Shelnutt for second place - because even if you don't smoke cigars, Shelnutt might note possession still is nine-tenths of the law.

Now let's add up the other Monday news of interest:

+ The Kia plant in West Point officially rolled out its first car. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue was NOT present for the occasion - settling for a news release, while he seeks new business in the United Arab Emirates. When Kia executives won't wait for personal praise from the governor, you know he's a lame duck.

+ The Muscogee County School Board discussed changing its meeting rules, to put a five-minute time limit on public comments. They're really forcing Bert Coker to run for the board next year, aren't they?

+ Columbus State University dedicated its newest building, the Schuster Student Success Center. Any freshman who can say "Schuster Student Success Center" five times without error will receive credit for passing a speech course.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Georgia Lottery President Margaret DeFrancisco received a $204,000 bonus last fiscal year. Wow - which Fantasy Five jackpot did she hit?

+ Auburn was mauled by Missouri State in men's basketball 73-62. The Auburn announcers noted Missouri State is projected to finish last in the Missouri Valley Conference this season. So Tiger coach Jeff Lebo is now projected to finish his last updated resume around mid-December.

(Missouri State plays its home games in the John Q. Hammons Arena. You'd think Auburn would have done better there - since the fans are simply members of the John Q. public.)

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 386 (+ 10, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

16 NOV 09: Who's the Man?

The first-ever Columbus "Ultimate Guys Expo" concluded Sunday at the Trade Center. Some of us thought this already happened twice a year, when the gun show came through town....

The Ultimate Guys Expo had amazing timing, as it came during a weekend break in the federal trial of Mark Shelnutt. In the past few days, people following the case have been introduced to two very different men - one a convicted drug "kingpin" (using the Ledger-Enquirer's headline), the other an attorney. Torrance Hill and Shelnutt broke up their "bro-mance" before that word was cool.

If you think about it, both Torrance Hill and Mark Shelnutt have presented different perspectives on what a real man should be. One lived a big-bucks high life, with a network of aides and international connections. And here's the amazing thing - the other man is simply an attorney.

CORRECTED: So who's closest to the standard for manhood? Today we borrow from Ultimate Fighting, and present the first Columbus Ultimate Guy Championship. Our four contenders are Torrance Hill, Mark Shelnutt, Jason Dennis from the WXTX "For Men Only" reports - and yours truly. I'm probably already at a disadvantage, because I've never called my computer room a "Man-Cave."

The criteria for this contest come directly from the advertising promoting the Ultimate Guys Expo. So may the best guy win, as we compare and contrast....

1. COGNAC TASTING. Torrance Hill had enough drug money that he probably invested in a bottle or two. Mark Shelnutt is the son of a minister - so he probably has a hidden chilled bottle of champagne, ready to drink with his wife if he's acquitted.

Jason Dennis is a devout Christian husband and dad, so I doubt he downs anything stouter than wine coolers. And as for me - I'd like to thank Piggly Wiggly for the in-store coupon, allowing me to buy four two-liter bottles of Coke Zero at a discount the other day.

2. COOKING. Torrance Hill probably has no experience with this. His drug use stopped at cocaine, not methamphetamine....

As a busy downtown attorney, Mark Shelnutt likely has gained most of his nourishment at restaurants such as Minnie's and Ruth Ann's. Jason Dennis openly talks about grilling outside on weekends. But my Sunday evening dinner was cooked indoors on the stove -- with store-brand macaroni and cheese costing several cents less than Kraft.

3. CIGARS. They say one bad habit leads to another, so I suspect Torrance Hill has smoked a few. But Mark Shelnutt doesn't look like a cigar smoker to me. Maybe if he handled more immigration cases....

I recall Jason Dennis offering cigars to friends, when he became a father. But if he offered one to me, I'd turn it down. I can spot second-hand smoke in my lungs 50 yards away when I'm jogging - and after playing poker in a few local clubs, I'm a bit amazed I still can jog at all.

4. FISHING. You might say Mark Shelnutt's family background is into "fishing for men," so he's probably good at this. But Torrance Hill is a very different story. His background is in hunting, not fishing - as in law enforcement authorities hunting FOR him.

It's not hard to imagine Jason Dennis fishing with his children by a lake. But I'm certainly not an "Ultimate Guy" in this category. I don't even go fishing for attractive women at dance clubs anymore.

5. FANCY WHEELS. Testimony in court this past week indicated Torrance Hill once owned a race car. Maybe he should have sold it to Carl Edwards, so the Aflac sponsorship can win at least one Sprint Cup race.

I don't tend to spy other people's cars, which probably makes me a failure here as well. But Mark Shelnutt strikes me as an attorney with a modest car, as opposed to a Cadillac. And if Jason Dennis doesn't drive what co-workers used to call a "Mommy-Van," the day isn't far off.

6. FOOTBALL TAILGATING. Torrance Hill may have opened his tailgate often in parking lots. But I doubt he was slow-roasting ribs before a game -- more like lightning-fast "downloads," if you know what I mean.

Some might say part of the federal case against Mark Shelnutt involves tailgating. Prosecutors say he accepted $125,000 in legal fees in a supermarket parking lot - but there's no evidence so far that Shelnutt turned around and made a "high-steaks" purchase.

Jason Dennis's children play youth soccer on weekends. I suspect his "tailgating" is limited to post-game packages of cupcakes.

And the tailgating topic is my ultimate downfall as a guy. I've never really done that outside a football game. The "birthday tent" for my older brother in September [6 Sep] doesn't really count - not when you have to unload cases of beer about four blocks away.

BLOG UPDATE: The second week of Mark Shelnutt's federal trial opens today. Judge Clay Land told jurors he expected a two-week trial. And Shelnutt certainly would like a decision this week - because SOA Watch protesters might need defense attorneys next Sunday and Monday.

When court was last in session, Federal Judge Clay Land threw out one of the 40 counts against Mark Shelnutt. Land admitted outside the jury's hearing he had "concerns" about the government's case -- and that seems understandable. If an attorney with big legal fees offered to buy my dinner at a restaurant, I'd consider it a blessing....

Federal prosecutor Mel Hyde testified Mark Shelnutt tried to pick up a restaurant tab for it - and Hyde didn't even know Shelnutt was there. I've never met Hyde, but maybe his hair is cut like a Fort Benning officer.

Mel Hyde also told the court Mark Shelnutt seemed "paranoid" at times, and offered him free Georgia football tickets. Hyde says on every occasion, he turned Shelnutt down. The lesson here should be obvious - have Auburn football tickets ready as a backup.

We'll see what the defense offers this week - but for now, let's offer a few more weekend discoveries:

+ A Friday afternoon jog found river water had receded from the Phenix City Riverwalk, but still covered the downtown part of the Columbus Riverwalk. All right now - which city needs to be cleaned of corruption more?

+ A federal report indicated Columbus Bank and Trust controls almost 58 percent of the banking deposits in Columbus. If this much dominance concerns you, it could be worse. One TV station has almost 100 percent of the news viewers on Saturday and Sunday.

+ Fort Benning announced the gate at Custer Road will remain closed on weekends and federal holidays, to save money. Is this move really necessary? Why not put soldiers on K.P. duty at the gate with buckets of potatoes, to teach them multitasking?

+ The HLN network aired a Clark Howard consumer advice program, which was taped at Fort Benning several weeks ago. This month marks 25 years since I began work at that cable channel. It's been CNN2, CNN Headline News, simply Headline News - and now I call it "Helen" for short.

+ Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell confirmed to the Ledger-Enquirer he'll retire when his current term ends next year. Deputy Heath Taylor plans to launch a campaign for the job this week - so Russell County could be trading in Tommy guns for Heath bars.

+ Instant Message to Indianapolis Colts linebacker Philip Wheeler: Aw, c'mon - this was your big moment in the Sunday night spotlight. Why didn't you tell the TV audience you went to Shaw High School? Do the Raiders have to get back to the playoffs first?

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 376 (- 32, 7.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

15 NOV 09: Vet-oed

Columbus and Phenix City held their first Veterans Day parade Saturday. I'm not sure why this wasn't held Wednesday, on the actual holiday. Is there some obscure city rule banning parades for five days, after the Fountain City Classic?

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: A national veteran advocacy group is campaigning for the removal of a Muscogee County Superior Court Judge. Members even have contacted members of Congress - which tells me simply serving your country in the military does NOT automatically make you an expert in civics.

Believe it or not, this national protest stems from a divorce case. Retired Sergeant Major Paul Cousins says during an October 2005 hearing, Judge Doug Pullen told him he has "no constitutional rights" in the courtroom. Wow - not even the right to remain silent?!

The full statement by Judge Doug Pullen is posted on a web site with news for military veterans. He's quoted as telling Paul Cousins: "I do not have to abide by any federal or government law, because I am the law." And you thought "activist judges" were simply Republican election hype....

"There were tears in my eyes," Paul Cousins told your blog about the moment Judge Doug Pullen declared he lacks constitutional rights in court. The recipient of three Purple Hearts for his service in Vietnam apparently could not believe his ears - but it could have been worse. Pullen could have declared himself God's spokesman again [14 Oct].

Paul Cousins tried to argue it's illegal under federal law for his ex-wife to receive alimony from his military disability check. But Doug Pullen reportedly said he "stopped reading" federal regulations after he was elected Muscogee County Judge. Pullen's logic should be obvious - he's delegating authority to appeals courts.

Paul Cousins told me he'd like to remove the U.S. flag from Judge Doug Pullen's courtroom. That's because Cousins told a disabled veteran he lacked constitutional rights - and beyond that, Pullen reportedly said in October 2005: "You're not going to win in my courtroom." It makes you wonder what changed in Pullen's life by 2007, when he reportedly became biased in favor of soldiers.

Paul Cousins says he reported Judge Doug Pullen's comments to the Georgia Judicial Qualifications Commission - but was told, "There's nothing we can do." One of the commission's current members happens to be fellow Muscogee County Judge John Allen. That may have helped Cousins get an answer sooner -- and not quite the answer he wanted.

Paul Cousins says he's also contacted all the public officials he can think of - from U.S. Senators to State Senator Ed Harbison. All told him they couldn't help him. Apparently no one told Cousins elected judges such as Doug Pullen can be recalled by petition -- but if Cousins can't sign it because he's moved out of Muscogee County, that's another problem.

We went to the Government Center and reviewed the records in the Paul Cousins divorce case. But the 2005 statement by Judge Doug Pullen was not there. Cousins explained that's because no court reporter was present. That makes more sense than what a national veterans' chairman told me -- that judges are ordering transcripts be doctored. In this case, we could say the doctoring was out....

Paul Cousins submitted a notarized statement to "Veterans Today" about what Judge Doug Pullen said. Cousins told me he's willing to take a polygraph test to verify the 2005 comments - and the group "Operation Firing for Effect" is even willing to pay for a polygraph test by Pullen. Couldn't Maury Povich do this, and get big TV ratings?

Paul Cousins added once his court cases involving disability checks are settled, he plans to file a race discrimination complaint against Judge Doug Pullen. That's because he's African-American and his ex-wife is "Caucasian" as a native of Germany. If Cousins had served in World War II, he might even demand Pullen be tried for treason.

But here's the curious thing about Paul Cousins's complaints: his attorney in that 2005 court hearing was Joseph Wiley. He has a reputation for being outspoken when clients are treated unfairly - and Wiley usually approaches race discrimination complaints the way 20-year-old deadbeat guys want to approach Taylor Swift.

Yet our calls to Joseph Wiley about the Paul Cousins case were NOT returned by Saturday night. A second attorney in the Atlanta area never returned our message, either. Why don't they want to comment about his complaint? Do they think there's nothing to it? Operation Firing for Effect probably would conclude they're part of the big conspiracy....

(We listened to an OFFE Internet talk show this past week, to learn more about its activism for veterans. Some would say they "have a chip on their shoulder" - but at times, it sounded like the large ten-ounce bag was there.)

Joseph Wiley's reluctance to talk might be explained by a comment attorney Mark Casto made this past week at the Mark Shelnutt trial. If someone is about to become a judge, you don't want to say or do anything that could cause problems in future court cases. Orly Taitz apparently has yet to learn that lesson....

We also called Judge Doug Pullen's office for a comment, but a secretary told us he's been in the hospital for several days. The veterans opposing him probably wish Pullen would be inside the V.A. Medical Center in Tuskegee -- receiving care they consider second-class.

Columbus has a large number of veterans -- so you'd think they'd speak out and mobilize if Paul Cousins's complaints had any merit. At this point, it appears no one locally has. But I didn't attend Saturday's parade, to see if one of the "Blinded Veterans" carried a set of scales to stage a protest.

Yet assuming Paul Cousins's statement about the 2005 court hearing is accurate, this makes two comments we've uncovered which make Judge Doug Pullen look potentially outlandish. In fact, critics might say Pullin is pushin' - as in the envelope.

We're taking a weekend break from that OTHER big Columbus court case - so let's look to another court, as we check items in the news:

+ The Alabama Supreme Court issued a six-point definition of a bingo game. Governor Bob Riley said it makes electronic bingo machines illegal. Developers of Country Crossing near Dothan disagree. And as for Victoryland's games -- well, what is "Crazy Layer Cake?" Shouldn't they sell that in the Oasis Hotel restaurant?

+ Columbus Police told WTVM they found an illegal "chop shop" near Old Cusseta Road. I assume from this that Ben's Chop House on Sidney Simons Boulevard has a legal city business license....

+ The Columbus Civic Center hosted the Georgia High School Cheerleading Championships. Across the road at the Villa Nova Package Store, a staff member probably told a customer: "We've got spirits, yes we do. We've got spirits - how about you?"

+ Georgia's football team came from behind to edge Auburn 31-24. The win makes the Bulldogs "bowl-eligible" - and should mean for a few more weeks, Georgia's assistant coaches will be unemployment-ineligible.

(Georgia radio voice Scott Howard described one player by saying: "He's got quicks." He has WHAT?!?! Since when did they start serving Nestle Quik at the Bulldog bench?)

+ Georgia Tech demolished Duke 49-10, to clinch a spot in the Atlantic Coast Conference championship game. One of these years, the Duke athletic director will turn the football program around - if he can persuade basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski to switch sports.

+ Instant Message to the managers of Peachtree Mall: C'mon now - did you really run out of ten-dollar gift cards for members of "The Club?" I mean, just because I went to church first to prove I wasn't worshiping money....

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 408 (- 40, 8.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

13 NOV 09: Friends in Low Places

Thursday brought the alleged "star witness" for the prosecution, in the trial of Mark Shelnutt. That witness showed up in federal court wearing an orange-and- white prison shirt and leg shackles. The only "stars" I might associate with that kind of outfit are gangster rappers.

Torrence Hill told a Columbus federal jury about his years of drug-dealing, and his relationship with defense attorney Mark Shelnutt. The two men apparently were close for years - as close as the opposite sides of a glass window at the county jail.

Torrence Hill told the court he paid Mark Shelnutt around $250,000 in legal fees - but never was given a receipt for it. Am I understanding this case correctly? Hill is in prison for handling large amounts of cocaine - yet his attorney could join him there for not handing over a slip of paper?

Torrence Hill testified he was on Mark Shelnutt's side, when a federal investigation began. But the drug-runner turned "state's evidence" after Shelnutt told authorities he had Hill arrested on drug charges. This may prove the old phrase about "honor among thieves" - or at least among attorneys for thieves.

Another thing that ruined the attorney-client relationship was how Torrence Hill resumed drug-dealing while awaiting trial. Mark Shelnutt reportedly griped $141,000 seized from Hill's apartment "could have been his." Some would call Shelnutt financially prudent - seeking cash up-front to help Hill's credit score.

Torrence Hill insisted he gave Mark Shelnutt a list of people who owed him money, and told Shelnutt to collect it. I never realized Columbus collection agencies were so ethical that they would turn down a deal like this.

During cross-examination, Torrence Hill repeated what seems to be a defense theme - that prosecutors investigated Mark Shelnutt to keep him from becoming a Muscogee County Judge. You'd think a series of "attack ads" on the evening news would be more cost-effective....

The only other prosecution witness Thursday was Mark Shelnutt's former legal secretary. Joanne "J.S." Strickland admitted Shelnutt gave her $7,000 to deposit in her bank account in 2006 -- then she wrote a check for $6,500, keeping the remaining $500 for a family wedding gift. Now I really feel guilty about buying one of my nieces a modest Wal-Mart gift card.

Mark Shelnutt apparently claimed he lent $7,000 to Joanne Strickland for her daughter's wedding. But Strickland told the court Thursday it was NOT a loan. Does this mean money was laundered? Or did Shelnutt simply wear a suit with fake coat pockets, so he had no good place to hide the cash?

WTVM reports the prosecution is expected to rest its case against Mark Shelnutt today. Then a weekend break is expected, before the defense begins presenting its witnesses. If St. Luke United Methodist Church has record attendance at Sunday school, I think I'll know why....

By the way, I didn't realize until I read the Ledger-Enquirer's coverage of the trial that Mark Shelnutt is a newlywed. He married a co-worker at his law firm earlier this fall. If this wedding occurred in Hollywood, the tabloids would know by now if the couple has a pre-nuptial agreement.

You're invited to hear me sing this weekend, at a special "Pre-Thanksgiving" worship service and dinner! It starts Saturday at 2:30 p.m. ET at the Woodmen of the World hall on Milgen Road -- between the post office and Lumber Liquidators.

E-MAIL UPDATE: So what has Mark Shelnutt's good friend Julia Slater been doing this trial? The Muscogee County District Attorney has been busy at her office -- apparently taking personal charge of that request involving Lanny Davis we mentioned Wednesday. This e-mail from Slater was passed on to us by Georgia author Cilla McCain:

Cilla,

I am so sorry to hear of Lanny's condition. I have been praying for him and his family since I heard and have my family praying as well. I lost my mother-in-law to lung cancer 2 years ago and the wounds are still fresh. I know what his family is going through and I pray for their strength each day.

As you know, I have personally searched this office for items relating to the death of Richard Davis. There were three rooms in this office which, prior to me taking office, were used as storage areas. All three of these rooms have been completely cleaned out. Two are now being used as offices for staff members and one is now a conference room. It is in one of these rooms that I located Richard Davis' dog tag in March. Additionally, I personally searched the vault and particularly the area where the evidence on this case was stored. I was unable to locate anything else related to Richard's death. I have spoken to those involved in the storage of evidence and prosecution of this case and have had those people also search the office. Richard's dog tag is all that we were able to find.

I continue to "keep my eyes open" for items relating to this case, but I have run out of places to look. Since I was not the DA who took possession of the evidence in this case, I cannot speak to whether the items were actually received by this office and it is difficult for me to imagine where the missing items could be.

I am sorry that I cannot offer anything more concrete to you or Mr. and Mrs. Davis, but I have done everything I can to help in this situation. Please tell Lanny that I am praying for him and his family and continue to hope that he can reach some closure on this matter.

Sincerely,

Julia Slater

District Attorney

Chattahoochee Judicial Circuit

Perhaps this news will spark a second search -- through the attic and basement of Gray Conger.

In personal comments sent with this message, Cilla McCain writes: "I'm appalled that these things are lost and there seems to be no recourse...." She's concerned guilty criminals could go free, because of mishandled evidence. Can we hire Oprah Winfrey's "clutter controller" to check the homes of candidates in the next election?

But this e-mail raises another question. If three District Attorney storage rooms have become office and conference space, where is criminal evidence kept now? I recall prosecutors complaining years ago they didn't have enough storage space at the Government Center. Does this explain the large metal storage containers in a few convenience store parking lots?

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Suppose someone offered to pay the expenses to hold a political debate at your location. Would you accept the offer? A former candidate told me Thursday a Columbus TV station turned him down. And it was NOT the Christian Television Network station, concerned about the separation of church and state.

Jerry Luquire fell short in last week's special election to fill a Georgia House seat. Luquire says he approached WRBL about buying 30 minutes of time, so the runoff candidates could debate each other. But the station management said no -- perhaps unsure about which candidate's side to be on.

Jerry Luquire envisioned holding the debate at 12:00 noon - when WRBL has replaced its midday news with infomercials for things like Ab Rockets and Nuwave Ovens. My theory is that the managers didn't want to pay staff members to come in for camera and control room duty. So the private sector keeps two Republicans from promoting private-sector economic ideas.

Jerry Luquire confirmed he's endorsing Steve Earles in the 1 December runoff against Kip Smith. He explained Earles comes closest to matching his "Christian principles." I should have asked Luquire if that meant baptism by immersion or sprinkling.

"I'm the culprit," Jerry Luquire admitted about his failed Georgia House campaign. He says he failed to get his message out to voters. The fact that he called this blog nine days after the vote seems to be proof of that.

Speaking of elections, former school administrator Alfred Stewart announced Thursday he'll run for Columbus Council next year. Stewart joins Nathan Suber in the District 1 race - and incumbent Jerry Barnes probably is smiling at the thought of two "anti-" candidates eliminating each other.

(Stewart told WRBL one of his main issues is the number of vacant lots across Columbus. He says roaches from those lots invade homes after dark. Those 100 new police officers need to look down toward the sidewalks once in a while.)

Now we need to catch up on other news items from the last couple of days....

+ An afternoon jog found rainwater covering the Columbus Riverwalk. I assume the Phenix City walkway is covered with water as well -- so for a few days, joggers can refer to their best track as IDA Hour Park.

(The Ledger-Enquirer reports 2009 is now the third-wettest year on record in Columbus. So if we have a big surplus, shouldn't Columbus Water Works be lowering our rates?)

+ A large crowd toured the National Infantry Museum on Veterans Day. Veterans from the LaGrange area traveled to the museum aboard "Honor Buses" - which makes me wonder why "Honor Flights" were used for that trip to Washington. Are airplane restrooms really more comfortable?

+ The Columbus Foundry near Bradley Park Drive was saved from closure at the last minute, when a buyer stepped in to buy the business. More than 100 workers will keep their jobs - and this weekend at church they'll sing, "I once was lost, but now am Foundry."

+ WRBL revealed the Jam Skate and Child Care Center on Milgen Road operated without a city license for six months. Then it suddenly closed, without notifying customers who had booked parties there. So the center apparently took its name from its financial situation....

+ An Alabama State Senator proposed a statewide voter referendum on banning all forms of gambling. This would include the "charity bingo" at Victoryland. If that ban happens, the new Oasis Hotel in Shorter will be aptly named - because everything around it will be deserted.

+ Instant Message to Georgia head football coach Mark Richt: Did I see that right? You did TV interviews about this weekend's Auburn game in front of a G logo turned upside-down? Some people would take that as a distress signal....

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 448 (+ 14, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.