13 AUG 09: Your Papers, Please

Instant Message to Robert Schweiger: I hope you didn't hurt yourself dancing around the house Wednesday. I imagine you invited all your friends over, to celebrate the arrest of your town's mayor. And based on your last petition drive, your 12-pack of soda or beer may not be empty yet.

Hurtsboro Mayor Rayford Tapley was indicted by a Russell County grand jury, then surrendered at the county jail Wednesday to be arrested. The "mug shot" posted at the Ledger-Enquirer's web site actually doesn't look that bad. If former Constable Robert Schweiger had been allowed to make the arrest unannounced, things might have been very different.

Compared with other recent Hurtsboro cases, the indictment against Mayor Rayford Tapley seems tame. He's NOT accused of stealing city money or threatening a lover, but "tampering with governmental records." If they're not public, how do we know Tapley's tampered with them? Not even the challengers of President Obama's citizenship have made that charge - yet.

The grand jury indictment explains the real complaint against Mayor Rayford Tapley is not providing Hurtsboro City Council meetings and financial records to a citizen. Guess which citizen. Yup - none other than Robert Schweiger. And Schweiger is so focused on Hurtsboro politics, you'd think he takes detailed notes on council meetings himself.

WTVM reported Robert Schweiger was the only witness to speak against the Hurtsboro Mayor, when a grand jury met last week. You'd think prosecutors would need a second witness, to convict Rayford Tapley at trial. If that surprise second witness turns out to be former mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba, Schweiger might collapse in shock.

Robert Schweiger finally found friendly ears at the Russell County grand jury, after the sheriff and prosecutors refused to arrest Mayor Rayford Tapley last month [16 Jul]. Schweiger's complaint then was "obstructing justice." By not turning over city records, the new charge is more like a hockey penalty - obstruction/holding.

Yet Robert Schweiger insisted on the evening news he has "no personal grudge" against the Hurtsboro Mayor. Well, that's probably accurate. His grudge is more against everyone in city government, and the government in general.

In response, Mayor Rayford Tapley insists he'll release the Hurtsboro city financial records once a six-year audit is completed in September. This may reveal how bad the Hurtsboro books really are - if he can't afford to have the records bulk-copied at Kinko's.

The Hurtsboro Mayor is scheduled for arraignment Friday - but Rayford Tapley's attorney plans to file a motion today to throw out the indictment. Ken White calls the indictment's language is too general and vague. In other words, Robert Schweiger should have kept notes of every time the mayor ignored him.

(Robert Schweiger probably would point out Ken White is a former Russell County Judge, who found Schweiger guilty of contempt of court a couple of years ago. A rematch of sorts may be coming - and I'd suggest this fight may be big enough to stage at Phenix City Central High School's new gymnasium.)

Hurtsboro Mayor Rayford Tapley is free for now on a 250-dollar bond. And unlike Robert Schweiger's most recent court case, I doubt Tapley is allowed to pay the bond in five-dollar increments once a month.

Robert Schweiger admits most people don't believe it, but he really loves the town of Hurtsboro. He says his goal is to make Hurtsboro safe and clean again. And what better way is there to accomplish that dream, than to have the mayor arrested for not providing paperwork?

This blog has chronicled the complaints and offenses of Hurtsboro for nearly three years - usually not because we wanted to, but Robert Schweiger demanded it in e-mails sent to us. Yet we received no message from him Wednesday, trumpeting the arrest of the mayor. It's hard to believe he's finally mellowing - and actually considers Rayford Tapley innocent until proven guilty.

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BLOG UPDATE: Columbus supporters of health care reform held their own forum Wednesday. Only this was described on the TV news as a "roundtable" - and apparently it wasn't open to the public, either. Are we discussing national policy, or practicing for the opening night of football season?

Nine supporters of health care reform gathered at the office of Columbus Councilor Jerry "Pops" Barnes. Barnes is a nurse - and if you haven't noticed, he's brought a bit of "government-run health care" to Columbus in the last couple of years. After all, those are city-paid EMS workers providing free diabetes tests at fire stations.

The supporters of health care reform are part of "Organizing for America." It's described as the "grass-roots movement" supporting President Obama's proposals. Yet if the White House is to some extent urging these groups to mobilize, how really "grass-roots" is that? Isn't it more like rolling out several yards of sod from a nursery?

The Organizing for America group seemed to be preparing for next week's health care town hall meeting set up by Rep. Sanford Bishop. The conservative "Columbus Tea Party" group plans to be there as well. This shapes up to be great political theatre at the National Infantry Museum -- and it won't even be on the IMAX screen.

Now for more "actors and their roles" from the Wednesday news....

+ WXTX "News at Ten" reported a kickoff event for the Muscogee County School sales tax proposal is planned in a couple of weeks. The theme apparently will involve a "new day" for local schools. Would they dare hold this meeting at the newest district building - the administrative offices on Macon Road?

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported someone contacted the Columbus Fire Marshal, asking whether Northside High School is overcrowded. Despite almost 400 transfer students, the fire marshal concluded it is NOT. As long as students take turns walking the hallways to class, everything should be fine.

+ Russell County High School football coach Rico White responded to accusations that he painted graffiti near the school. He told WRBL the school board has never liked him, and he "only got approved by a 4-3 vote." Not even a last name like White can unify this board....

(The WRBL web site says Rico White is under investigation for "vandalizism." For what?!?! Who's teaching spelling in Russell County these days, Snoop Dogg?)

+ Huntsville International Airport announced it's applying for a federal grant, to recruit a new "low-fare" airline. Why doesn't the Columbus Airport do something like this? When a round-trip ASA ticket to Atlanta costs $509, as it did Wednesday night, almost any airline should be low-fare.

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12 AUG 09: A Darker Tone of Voice

One man tells me it's only a matter of time before Columbus has a "talk-radio" station on the FM band. But he may be overlooking something - we may be approaching that now. It's happening during the morning and late afternoon. The hosts simply play a little music when they need to go to the break room for coffee.

The new Columbus radio ratings came out Tuesday, to remind me of this. They show a big upward trend for an FM station which talks a lot in the morning and late afternoon -- not with right-wing conservatives, but African-American backers of President Obama. You know, the ones more likely to sit politely at health care forums....

WKZJ-FM "K-92.7" has seen its ratings jump nearly 50 percent in a year, to tie for second place in the spring report. It's the station presenting Tom Joyner in the morning and Michael Baesden during the afternoon drive. Is it just me, or did Baesden stop calling his show "Love, Lust and Lies" after Barack Obama became a serious Presidential contender?

The Tom Joyner and Michael Baesden shows tend to be as much talk as music, and sometimes the talk dominates. In fact, Baesden takes calls every day about a variety of topics. Of course, he's based in New York - but that means WKZJ has almost as many local talk shows as WDAK.

On top of that, K-92.7 midday host Chris Green does more than spin soul music. I've heard him hand out "Idiot of the Day" awards, based on issues in the news. I don't know if he's ever consulted with Sheriff candidate Mark LaJoye, about giving one personally to me.

This may explain why K-92.7 did something in the spring ratings I'd been expecting to occur for years. It topped WAGH-FM "Magic 101.3" - where midday host Edgar Champagne now may have to settle for a rum and Coke.

On down the dial, the announcers on WFXE-FM "Foxie 105" aren't afraid to have open phone lines to discuss hot topics. Michael Soul did that recently, after the Russell County School Board decided not to renew the superintendent's contract. From the short clip I saw on TV, Soul was more buttered than hot....

Foxie 105 continues to lead the Columbus radio ratings. But Tuesday's report showed the numbers dipping again, as they did a few years ago. The report offers no real clue about where its listeners have gone. Well, there's one longshot possibility - and I can't imagine Foxie's fans would switch to Bear O'Brien.

That's the other big story from the spring radio ratings. WKCN-FM "Kissin' 99.3" jumped up to tie K-92.7 for second place - and the country station now has twice the listeners of WSTH-FM "Rooster 106." PMB Broadcasting looks brilliant for bringing Bear O'Brien back to Columbus last August. Bears can devour Roosters every bit as much as foxes.

The spring radio ratings had their usual slight ups and downs. But here are some other things we noticed....

+ WOKS has become the top AM station in Columbus. It had a big boost in the spring - so maybe all the new police officers are giving more listeners the blues.

+ WDAK no longer is the top AM station, as its ratings dropped by about one-third from last fall. I thought conservatives needed a place to rally, after losing power.

+ WBOJ-FM "103.7 The Truth" continues to grow, with more than twice the listeners this spring compared with last year's premiere. If this contemporary Christian station keeps building an audience, some churches I know might succumb to the pressure and add guitars during services.

+ Both "sports talk" stations on the AM band failed to appear in the ratings at all -- and there are few things more boring in sports than a scoreless tie.

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E-MAIL UPDATE: Tuesday's complaint about the Georgia "Move-Over Law" and a trip to Recorder's Court brought little sympathy from one reader....

Sounds like Miss Nicky doesn't want to pay up is the REAL issue. She said that the ticketing officer was there but that he left and that 2 other officers went looking for someone that she described. It sounds like a ploy to get out of paying, describing an officer that she knew already left the court room! If she studied the law, got her degree & at one time wanted to be one of Columbus' finest - she would hopefully have some common sense. It is not only the law but COMMON sense to get in the left lane whenever someone is pulled off on the shoulder. Do you suppose she didn't make it on the CPD & has a BIG chip. Tell me, Nicky, if it was your loved one out there on the streets as an officer, wouldn't you want people getting over for them or would you just up their life insurance!!!

Uh-oh -- someone needs to help me here. Did the Move-Over Law get mentioned in the book "Glenn Beck's Common Sense"?

Meanwhile, the supervisor of the Columbus Police Patrol Division explained the traffic ticket procedure to us Tuesday. Major Julian Graham says if any officer-switching occurred in Recorder's Court, it should be brought to his attention. Hopefully he wears a name tag at all times, to avoid any confusion.

Julius Graham noted officers normally are NOT allowed to represent each other in a court hearing. But if a group of officers is involved in an arrest or a ticket, any officer who witnessed the incident can appear and speak for the group. OK - but let's see an accused speeder in Recorder's Court demand an officer pass an eye exam.

Matters of law and order are scattered in our review of other Tuesday news:

+ Columbus Council tabled the proposal for a city Crime Prevention Director. While that was expected, something unexpected happened during the debate - as Councilor Mike Baker made a comment which put him on the TV news. You can't hide on that platform for the entire four years.

(Mayor Jim Wetherington said he doesn't mind the delay, if it will mean a united Council. This happened after he shook the hand of WTVM General Manager Lee Brantley, for that "Thunder on the Hooch" commendation - so the mayor may be drinking decaffeinated coffee these days.)

+ Senator Saxby Chambliss came to Columbus for a forum on health care - except he held it privately at the Chamber of Commerce office, with NO public meeting. And then they accuse Democrats of having something to hide?!

(Rep. Artur Davis appeared in Auburn, and told the Opelika-Auburn News he would vote NO on the health care reform bill right now. That explains why Davis is running for Governor - to handle easier issues, such as proration.)

+ The Russell County School Board asked the District Attorney to investigate graffiti painted on a driveway in June. WTVM reports the graffiti suggested a school board member's spouse committed adultery - and a football coach is accused of doing the painting. If that coach had left a comment about Phenix City Central, there might not be any problem....

+ Troy Public Radio's "Community Focus" discussed the campaign for a new Alabama Constitution. Supporter Jim Vickery said the current special session of the legislature makes Jefferson County the "poster child" for home rule. Some Phenix City residents probably want to put Rep. Lesley Vance on a wanted poster, as an accessory to taxpayer robbery.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported a Cobb County man is wanted for illegally dumping trash in the street. An arrest warrant claims the suspect had items in the trash bags with his name on them. I get upset about junk mail, too - but at least I take white paper to the recycling bin.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

11 AUG 09: Pull Over, Pull One Over?

The life of a police officer is seldom easy, even during routine traffic patrols. The Monday evening news showed a man accused of pulling a knife on a Columbus officer during a traffic stop -- only the suspect was shown with a bandage on his forehead. Car roofs apparently are as hard as ever.

We spent part of Monday going over Columbus traffic records. A woman who said she had a "story" for us prompted it....

Hello,

I was doing some research on the internet and ran across this blogg.Found it very imformative! I'm a Columbus resident and recently had an awful experience with a couple of officers at CPD. On Friday, August 7th at 8:00am I arrives at recorders court to answer to a July traffic citation.

I was pulled over on July 3rd at around 10:40 am by this officer who introduced himself to me as officer [X....] He struck me as a pleasant, attractive young officer, was very nice, even struck up a conservation with me. Well after he issued me a citation for apparently violating the "move over law" he was on his way. I looked behind me and saw him drive away.

After I called and found out how much the citation was I decided right there I had to dispute this due to no knowledge of such a law nor did i really feel I should be charged with this violation. So, on Friday morning I show up and sit in the courtroom awaiting my name to be called. I don't see the officer anywhere, I think maybe he won't show. Well after about 20 minutes he shows up. After several more minutes, I see him walk out of the court room. I think...hmm, is he coming back? Well he didn't.

Here comes the strange part. I was called by the clerk lady to the front, still no officer. After Judge Cilenski reads my violation, I glance to my side and see this stalky little officer standing there with papers in front of him. Well, this officer who has began reading my charge and stating HIS facts about that morning he pulled me over, I get this awful gut wrenching feeling that somethings going on.

As the judge asks me how I would like to plead, I'm standing there in shock! THIS IS NOT THE OFFICER WHO PULLED ME OVER AND WROTE THE CITATION! How can HE testify against me!!?? So i manage to get out the words " sir, this is not the officer who pulled me over". This judge looks at the officer and says " did you yourself pull this lady over"? "YES" states the officer after looking me dead in the eye with a smirk on his flushed little face.

I again say to the Judge " this is NOT the officer sir". A frustrated and aggraveted judge looks at me and asks if i have my ticket then? Yes sir, "It's in my purse" I immediately get the ticket out and hand it to the deputy for the judge. The judge looks at me and says THIS IS THE OFFICER ON THE TICKET LADY"!

NO IT"S NOT! I described the officer and tell the judge that he already left the courtroom! The judge yells at me and tells me im fined $710, left to eat the points on my liscense,then they take me back in the holding area to pay. By now I'm in tears and can't control my emotions. WHAT IS GOING ON!? This can't be happening! I had no choice but to plead guilty to the charge and pay a hefty fine after ticking this judge off. I felt so HAD!

A couple of deputy's say they remember the officer in the room and that he DID walk out! OK....I'M NOT CRAZY!!!! They proceed to look for him and he has apparently left. Then walks back another female who is concerned and asks me what the officers name on my ticket is. I pull out my ticket again and we compare names. IT'S THE SAME OFFICER!! She say's this officer didn't pull me over either! It was YOUR officer!

What the H**K is going on at CPD! I myself had a long lived dream to become one of columbus's finest, went to college and earned my degree. I have experienced little bits of corruption here and there with CPD but this takes the cake!!!!

How can one officer impersonate another officer with ticket writing!? Was he trying to help with quotas, I'm shocked, hurt and flabergasted. I know it sounds crazy but I've experienced my first nightmare of a CPD officer pulling me over and relived the whole experience, waking up in a sweat!

I have filed a formal complaint with CPD, called the Mayors office, the DA, and plan to file a civil suit against CPD with everything it takes in me!

How can we as citizen's be upheld to the laws if some of our "finest" are breaking them right in front of our faces! I think Columbus should know! Citizens should be aware and make sure they aren't being taken advantage of by the legal system. (if you post this...please leave out the officer's name).

Sincerely,

Nicky Peters

We'll get to Nicky's court trip, but we should start at the top. Yes, Georgia has a "move-over law." It went statewide early last year -- and I recall it receiving TV news coverage in Columbus when that happened. Some people probably wish the "move-over law" would expand to include movie theatres.

The Georgia law (also in effect in Alabama) says drivers must move over one lane, if an emergency vehicle is stopped along the roadside. If traffic does not allow you to move over, you must slow down. This rule is designed to keep emergency workers safe - and allows you to be a better witness, if an officer decides to beat someone senseless.

But there's an old phrase when it comes to court cases: ignorance of the law is no excuse. So claiming a lack of knowledge of the move-over law probably wouldn't have gained Nicky much in Recorder's Court. And to not "really feel I should be charged" - well, the Muscogee County Jail is probably full of suspects who feel the same way.

Of course, the "strange part" of Nicky's trip to Recorder's Court is her main issue here. But I'm not sure why she wants me to leave out the name of the police officer -- especially when it's in the court record, and she's talking about a lawsuit. Perhaps she's concerned the officer might be offered a promotion, for enforcing the law....

Our review of Recorder's Court records found Nicky was among at least nine people who appeared last Friday morning, to answer tickets by "Officer X." He stopped five drivers for move-over violations, four more for speeding -- and I saw NO case where anyone was accused of impersonating an officer.

We wanted to talk to some of the other alleged scofflaws cited by Officer X. But several of them lacked listed phone numbers -- and a woman with a listed number in Manchester didn't return our message. We tried to explain she was NOT under suspicion, and we are NOT affiliated with Ken Nugent offering "big bucks."

We also called the Columbus Police Department's Patrol Division Monday to ask about this story. Major Julius Graham told us he was in a conference, and he took our number - but he never called us back. That call may come today, after the usual criminal background check....

In a short conversation, Major Julius Graham indicated an officer does NOT have to appear in Recorder's Court if a suspect had to post bond. In this case, that didn't happen. Nicky Peters had to pay up to avoid having her 30-day suspended sentence.... well, uh.... I guess the suspension might have been suspended.

One question I have involves the circumstances of this ticket. Based on Nicky Peters's e-mail and the information we learned Monday, this seems to have been a holiday weekend highway crackdown. If officers worked as a team, could one appear in court on behalf of the others? You know, like winning the Oscar for Best Picture?

It might not make Nicky Peters feel any better, but an online petition drive is underway to reduce the $500 fine for violating Georgia's move-over law. Trouble is, only about 20 people have signed it since Memorial Day - and the petition deadline passed two years ago. Perhaps the people have spoken, and they're driving in the left lane.

With 100 new police officers hitting the streets of Columbus, all of us might do well to brush up on our traffic rules. For one thing, make sure your turn lights are working. Of course, this will be no problem for some drivers - because the turn-light test might be the first time they've actually used one.

P.S. When we stopped by the Recorder's Court Clerk's office, we were surprised to find jail inmates cleaning inside - during the lunch hour. There's a clear difference between this courthouse and the one where Judge John Allen works....

BLOG UPDATE: A check of today's Columbus Council agenda shows a couple of curious things. A commendation for "Thunder on the Hooch" will be given to WTVM General Manager Lee Brantley. After what he said on the air about the proposed Crime Prevention Director, don't be surprised if one of his assistants shows up to accept it.

But WTVM's Monday night news indicated Mayor Jim Wetherington may not demand a vote on the Crime Prevention Director today after all. He said some Columbus Council members still have questions and concerns. Hmmmm - would the Police Department like to learn from the School Board, and schedule some furlough days?

Today's agenda includes a handwritten proposal from Councilor Glenn Davis, with his own ideas for a Crime Prevention Director. It says the pay grade should be lowered, the department should NOT be "quazi-governmental" - and the director's qualifications should include skills in public speaking. After all, that director may have to defend his budget before Council often....

It also happens that Bert Coker and Paul Olson are on the "public agenda" today. But the only tax they plan to discuss is a sales tax exemption on vehicles and car dealers. C'mon now - aren't these conservative folks supposed to like Rob Doll?

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OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A young woman is doing business at a Columbus post office on a credit card. When she's given her receipt, she's surprised to learn no signature is necessary.

"If it's under 25, we don't require a signature," the postal worker explains.

"That's good, because I'm under 25."

Let's see what else might have had people talking Monday:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported Colin Martin is giving up the special campaign for State House. The reason: his teenage daughter broke both legs, while training for cross-country season. So if she can't run, he can't either?!

+ The new school year opened across East Alabama. Wacoochee Junior High School students returned to a cafeteria damaged by the February tornado. I presume no cotton candy will be served there for awhile - because students might think it's mixed with insulation.

+ The Muscogee County School Athletic Director told Dick McMichael's blog the proposed school sales tax could pay for artificial turf at Kinnett Stadium. Why would this require tax money? Simply recycle the old carpeting, when Carver High School is torn down.

(Dr. Gary Gibson also wants a new sports stadium built on open land along Martin Luther King Boulevard. He envisions something small, for events which don't draw big crowds - which means Jordan High School finally can have a true home football field.)

+ Richard Hyatt's web site confirmed Georgia football broadcasts are moving away from WRCG, and will be on WGSY "Sunny 100." Maybe this will convince Larry Munson to come out of retirement - since Sunny 100 is known for those "Totally 80's" weekends.

(After six decades of Bulldog broadcasts, WRCG apparently will have to settle for carrying Georgia Southern games this fall. Uga Ugh - is that the best they can do? At least LaGrange and Tuskegee broadcasts might have a chance to reach those campuses.)

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a tory tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 441 (+ 13, 3.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

10 AUG 09: Oy Oy, Sir

At first glance, the news seemed a bit surprising. The only place in the Columbus area which publicly displays a Hanukkah menorah plans to become more sensitive about Jewish matters. For starters, fundamentalist ministers must stop misspelling "synagogue" with an I.

The place which is becoming more sensitive about Jewish customs is Fort Benning. The weekend news reported it's in response to the beating of a soldier in basic training last year, after he complained of religious discrimination. I'm not sure there's ever a justifiable reason for a beating -- not even for cheering on Navy to win football games.

Last year's beating led to the dismissal of one soldier from the Army, and the disciplining of two drill sergeants. And it stemmed in part from the Jewish soldier wearing a yarmulke in a Fort Benning dining hall. You'd think by now, the Army would have issued one in a standard khaki color....

A senior chaplain at Fort Benning says commanders have made several adjustments in response to last year's beating, including a few still in progress:

+ Drill sergeants are taking religious diversity classes. Yes, there's a difference between the Torah and the World War II movie "Tora Tora Tora."

+ Jewish worship services on post soon will be held on Fridays. For years Jewish soldiers have been offered a Sunday chapel meeting, squeezed into the Christian worship schedule -- and this was before the Saturday night church services came along, to serve as an excuse.

+ Dining halls now offer kosher "meals ready to eat." Matzos fit a lot more easily into those little containers, you know.

In addition, Fort Benning plans to provide Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services on post in September. If WHINSEC students are allowed to have an event for Hispanic Heritage Month, this seems only fair -- and besides, no one's ever accused a Jewish U.S. soldier of being an Israeli spy.

(I didn't realize until now that Jewish soldiers were bused to a Columbus synagogue to keep the Fall holy days. It makes me wonder if there's a Hebrew or Yiddish way to say "hooah.")

Many Christian ministers are likely to accept Fort Benning's new tolerance for Jewish customs. But if this approach extends to Muslim soldiers, I suspect some of them will draw a line and protest. They'll bring up memories of 11 September, note how many Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan are terrorists - and somehow forget all about Timothy McVeigh.

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E-MAIL UPDATE: A big stack of messages has reached our InBox since Friday. We won't get to all of them today, but let's start with a long road trip we mentioned Friday - and no, it's not ours:

Hi Richard:

Why is Sanford Bishop in Iraq. I thought he was the Congressman for Georgia's second district not Baghdad. Doesn't he know that We the People would like to speak with him?

Speechless

The purpose of this trip seems obvious to me. Rep. Sanford Bishop's district includes Fort Benning. Perhaps right now, it's safer to be surrounded by U.S. soldiers than people with no health insurance....

But don't worry, Congressman Bishop will be home soon. Another e-mail pointed that out:

Bishop to speak on health reform in local town hall meeting

The link goes to an Albany Herald article, about meetings there 20 August. A check of the Bishop web site shows he'll also have a hearing at the National Infantry Museum in Columbus 19 August -- close enough to Fort Benning so MP's can separate the health care reform supporters from the opponents.

On we go to education -- and the founder of the Better Way Foundation fears things are a little too quiet:

The SPLOST campaign must not end here.

People can vote early and you need to do some massive campaigning now, not wait to the week before.

Keep working. I don't care what you do, but don't give in now. We need to see an immediate media campaign.

Take us into the schools, show Carver and show why we need these new schools.

Show the number of Portables we currently house our children in.

These are the visuals that will get you votes of Yes.

Don't loose steam now. Prove to the public the need for this SPLOST.

Jeremy S Hobbs

The school sales tax supporters seem to be firing up the bandwagon now. There was a pro-SPLOST editorial on WTVM over the weekend. But supporters have to be careful not to push things too far. Pictures of large-eyed needy children might prompt donations to World Vision instead.

(Which reminds me: did you see Lee Brantley's WTVM editorial Sunday night? He's against the proposed city Crime Prevention Director. It's almost like the suggested script from the Chamber of Commerce arrived too late.)

With five weeks left before the school sales tax vote, where is the organized opposition? The usual suspects have been noticeably silent, such as Bert Coker and Paul Olson. Even previous SPLOST opponent Nathan Suber is keeping quiet -- as if he's waiting to run for the School Board next year as a tax-fighting populist.

Let's take one more e-mail about education, based on a Friday item:

Richard, I read your in your blog about the "smart boards" in the new Freshman Academy in Phenix City. Many months ago I visited an elementary school in Phenix City and the teacher demonstrated the use of the "smart board" to myself and another guest. I was very impressed. This teacher told us that every classroom in Phenix City has a "smart board". Just wanted to let you know that this equipment and technology is available for use in all classrooms in Phenix City and not just the new Freshman Academy.

Parents in many other districts probably are longing for smart boards. But in Russell County, some would demand a smart SCHOOL Board first.

Thanks to everyone for reading and writing - and now let's catch up on other news from the weekend:

+ Former assistant district attorney Stacey Jackson insisted he should NOT be disqualified from being the defense lawyer for Michael Registe. For one thing, consider the alternative - an attorney from the Caribbean with such a heavy Dutch accent, a jury will never understand him.

+ A Columbus attorney turned 60 by completing an unusual triathlon. Cecil Cheves ran 60 miles, rode a bicycle for 60 miles, then swam 60 laps around Lake Oliver. Talk about putting me to shame! I'm thankful nowadays when my car goes 60 miles without the speedometer giving out.

+ The Kia plant in West Point held a "big tent event" - promoting the company and giving away a car, but NOT offering public tours. If laid-off auto workers have time to disrupt health care reform hearings, who knows what they might do to a non-union factory.

+ The pre-season football coaches' poll by USA Today showed Alabama ranking higher in the top 25 than Georgia and Georgia Tech. Auburn wasn't ranked at all - and fans already are wondering if this fall on the Plains will be, well, plain.

+ Instant Message to the managers of Circle K stores: Did I hear your employee correctly? A big beverage in a Thirstbuster cup costs 79 cents - but if I bring that cup back for a refill, it costs me 89 cents?! Don't you want me to think environmentally? You know, like the lottery players who recycle the same numbers every day?

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 428 (- 32, 7.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 AUG 09: Duck and Cover

TRUE NEWS ITEM: Columbus emergency personnel held a mock security drill Saturday on the grounds of Aflac headquarters along Brown Avenue.

"Columbus 911. What is your emergency?"

"Af-lac!"

"Could you repeat that, please?"

"AF-LAC!!"

"Ma'am, is this some kind of prank call?"

"AAAAFF-LAAAAAC!!!"

"I'm going to pass you on to my supervisor, OK?"

"What's the problem here?"

"A caller keeps saying Aflac, but won't say anything else. And her voice sounds funny."

"Have we tracked the location?"

"The phone number connects to the Aflac Tower, all right. On Wynnton Road."

"Send a full unit to Wynnton. I'll try to calm her down."

"Right away."

"Thank you for waiting. This is the 911 Supervisor. Can I have your name, please?"

"Af-lac!"

"Be calm, now. We've already determined you're at the Aflac Tower. What's the nature of your emergency?"

"AF-LAC!!"

"Are you being held hostage, and that's all you're allowed to say?"

"AAAAFF-LAAAAC!!!"

"Is anyone there with you, who can talk to me? Anyone there?"

"Full unit on the way to Aflac Tower."

"Good. I can't get her to say anything else, either. It's like she has a one-word vocabulary."

"Unit 18 to base."

"Go ahead, 18."

"Do we know exactly where in the building this caller is?"

"Not sure, 18. Start in the lobby, and be careful."

"10-4."

"I'm sorry, that doesn't add up to 18."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know, maybe if we hooked the caller up to that voice pattern technology...."

"Oh yeah. That thing left over from the state police and fire games. Good idea. Bring it in here."

"Right away."

"Unit 18 to base."

"Go ahead, 18."

"We're still trying to figure out that last message. But we're in the lobby, and the security person here doesn't know what's going on."

"Well, that makes two of us. Let's see if I can put the phone speaker to the radio. Caller, are you still there?"

"Af-lac!"

"Can you identify yourself for the security guard, please?"

"AF-LAC!!"

"He says he didn't hear it all that well."

"AAAAFF-LAAAAAC!!!"

"OK, base. We think we've resolved this."

"What happened, Unit 18?"

"The security guard is heading to the basement."

"Does he need police support? We've got plenty of them sitting here."

"No, that won't be necessary. The guard says he got busy an hour ago, and missed duck feeding time."

"We copy, Unit 18. But do we know who placed the call?"

"That apparently WAS the duck, base."

"That's strange. We thought duck calling didn't start until November."

SCHEDULED MONDAY: A more kosher army, and a stack of your e-mails....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 460 (+ 7, 1.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 AUG 09: Curious George

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Sometimes it's not easy to be me. This past week, I fear it became a good deal harder -- and I didn't have anything to do with it. Before you ask: no, I was NOT in a position at Walt Disney World to have my picture taken with Goofy....

While I enjoyed a day with free admission to Epcot Center, another man was plotting something much more terrible. Police say George Sodini walked into a dance exercise class near Pittsburgh with several weapons and opened fire. Sodini's blog claims he "chickened out" of such an attack in January - and this was one time when being a yellow-bellied coward would be a good thing.

The problem is that George Sodini and I have a good deal in common. He was born about two years after me - but we both entered middle age and came to this week with no wife, no girlfriend and hardly any dating life. At least Sodini reported he had a date in May, with a woman he met on a bus. I clearly need to visit libraries more often, to earn free METRA passes.

But before you call the Pastoral Institute in my behalf, George Sodini and I have some significant differences. For starters, I don't own any firearms. Some men in the church group I attend consider that weird, all by itself. They're comfortable talking about hunting and classic guns before and after a service. Your weird ol' blogger prefers to talk at church about the Bible.

One of this blog's most controversial entries came when I declared myself "The 47-Year-Old Virgin." [27 Aug 05] The label still fits four years later. But George Sodini admits he had sex back in 1990, and became a father the next year. If he remembered the dates that well, maybe there's something good about it....

But George Sodini's blog makes clear he never became comfortable with "living single." That's where we're different again -- because I've grown used to it. If women aren't interested in dating me, maybe it simply proves females are the smarter of the species.

While George Sodini apparently became overwhelmed by the lack of a love life with women, I've come to accept it as part of my life. And here's another key difference between us -- I've accepted it as God's will for me. If God wants me to be married, He'll bring the right woman along at the right time. If not, I still get to lick the brownie pan whenever I wish.

This brings me to another big difference. George Sodini claims he attended a church which teaches "you can commit mass murder and still go to heaven." Amazingly, as of Friday afternoon that church had yet to do "damage control" and post a response online to this. And the staff somehow still thinks George W. Bush is President.

If George Sodini really was taught Jesus paid in advance for any sinful mass killing he might commit, he wasn't told the proper story. My Bible says in Galatians 5 murderers "shall not inherit the Kingdom of God." Revelation 21 adds murderers are bound for the "lake of fire." No, this is NOT what Bob Seger was describing years ago in the song "Fire Lake."

Cascade Hills Church Pastor Bill Purvis once gave a sermon called "Grace Gone Wild." As I recall, it was based on Romans 6 - where Paul warns against continuing in a life of sin. Instead, we're supposed to live righteous lives. That means NOT engaging in shooting sprees at fitness centers - and perhaps not keeping a blog which complains about your sexual abstinence.

With the help of God's Holy Spirit working in me, I'm striving to walk a righteous and sex-free path. After all, I agree with something George Sodini wrote Monday: "Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus." In fact, I expect to do that. And if I don't have to answer for deadly attacks on innocent women, I think the meeting will be a lot happier.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 453 (- 77, 14.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 AUG 09: Ar-rain-ment

One of my favorite words to say in Spanish is the word for liquid: "liquido." It's pronounced like "leaky dough" - which you might get if a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough developed a hole in it.

Leaky conditions are a headache these days at the old Russell County Courthouse. WTVM showed pictures Thursday of stains and holes on the second-floor ceiling. For a change, a "courthouse leak" has nothing to do with gossip about a county commissioner....

We noted here in May that Russell County Commissioner Cattie Epps had publicly mentioned the problem with a leaky courthouse roof [12 May]. Summertime "popcorn showers" obviously don't help matters. And you know things are bad when judges check the weather radar before a court hearing [True!].

Two Russell County judges confirmed the roof at what's now called the "Judicial Center" has leaked for years. And what's even more amazing is this - the files of court records aren't absorbent enough to hold back all the moisture.

Judge Albert Johnson says not only does the old courthouse have a leaky roof, but "mold and mildew are hanging from the light fixtures." Of course, this means criminals using an insanity defense have to be treated with extra care....

The judges admit they've put buckets in courtrooms on rainy days, because of the leaks. It's only a matter of time before a judge or a prosecutor takes the next step -- and orders a suspect to test the harshness of waterboarding.

Russell County Commissioners have allocated about two million dollars to fix the leaky roof, and make other improvements in the Judicial Center. But that work has yet to start. Apparently the commissioners had to be sure they were completely satisfied with their new building....

Commission Chair Mervin Dudley assures the repair work on the old Russell County Courthouse will begin in October. In the meantime, court hearings may continue to have rain buckets - and judges will keep rolling their eyes when attorneys point to the ceiling, and compare the holes to their opponent's case.

(There's one other advantage to those rain buckets, of course. They're perfect for dumping rejected defense motions.)

As for the other big roof leak in Russell County: the Chattahoochee Valley Community College library now has been closed nearly two months. The CVCC web site had no details Thursday night on when it might reopen -- but this would be great practice for students who want to build Habitat for Humanity homes over spring break next year.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. People from around the world are visiting "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: The Muscogee County school parent who wrote us about Verification Day Thursday sent an update late Wednesday, which we never saw until Thursday....

Richard..before you include an earlier e-mail about portables at a school let me P.S.that e-mail..the portables got power about dark today...just did skim by..I didn't want you to print something that had been corrected...

So much for my theory, then. I wondered if that portable classroom was going to be displayed around the city over the next six weeks, before the school sales tax vote.

There's more school news, in our review of other Thursday news items....

+ The Ledger-Enquirer web site confirmed Susan Bryant was named Principal of the Year by the Georgia P.T.A. Yes, the same Susan Bryant who received a one-year suspension for her actions at Columbus High School. Wouldn't it be fun to see Bryant and Phyllis Jones campaign together for the school board next year?

+ WLTZ took a look around the new Freshman Academy at Phenix City Central High School. A recent postal mail to us claimed a lot of money was spent on "athletic related facilities." Yet the TV report showed classrooms with "smart boards" and two fancy new science labs, so that should.... oh wait. Can ninth-graders use those labs to make steroids?

(Did I read it right - Phenix City teachers held a "Worship and Fellowship Celebration" at the Freshman Academy? Well, I guess it's legal for teachers to do that. But if any child walked in, the speakers would have to change their speeches in a hurry to mention evolution.)

+ Rep. Sanford Bishop talked with WRBL from Iraq. He's visiting the Persian Gulf region with a Congressional delegation -- and how inspiring to see Bishop is doing advance preparations for the Third Brigade.

+ Atlanta talk show host Neal Boortz was elected to the Radio Hall of Fame. If you thought he sounded like a pompous know-it-all before....

+ Instant Message to the Columbus State University housing office: You already have the Cougar Village Apartments. Are you hurrying to beat ABC's fall TV lineup, by adding a complex called "Cougar Town"?

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: A tale of two very different middle-aged single men....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 530 (+ 11, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 AUG 09: Schoolhouse Idle

We feel compelled to put business before pleasure today, and lead off with Wednesday's big "Idol" items. Paula Abdul declared she will leave American Idol after eight seasons. Many fundamentalists who check their commandments often are encouraging all the other judges to do the same, so idol-worship in our country ends.

Muscogee County Schools also made "Idol" news Wednesday, only they seemed to spell the word differently. Officials announced today's first day of class will include a "no idling" policy. And I thought the text voting deadline passed before the next school day starts....

Oh wait - this is different. The new "no idling" policy applies to vehicles running idle outside schools. Parents will be asked to turn off their car engines before and after class. This may sound harsh, but remember one thing -- the school district could be trying to restrict parents' cell phone usage, too.

Muscogee County School executive Myles Caggins told WTVM the new policy was worked out with the Clean Air Campaign. If car engines are kept turned off outside schools, less pollution is produced from exhaust. The health benefits from this should be obvious. For instance, cross-country runners this fall are expected to break every school record.

Myles Caggins suggested the no-idling policy also makes economic sense. You won't burn fuel while waiting on your children after school. Save that slow burn for the day the report card comes....

Yes, Muscogee County school buses are included in the new no-idling policy. Regular blog readers will recall this issue came up last year, when someone drove by the RiverCenter during a field trip [17 Apr 08]. With school funds tight, fuel burning clearly is now a.... well, you know.... a front-burner issue.

Myles Caggins explained school buses need to run idle for three to five minutes after a trip, to avoid damaging diesel engines. It's a bit like runners "cooling down" after a workout - although I wonder at this time of year how much cooling midday joggers really do.

We learned about this policy too late Wednesday to see if METRA is doing something similar. This week marks one year since two METRA drivers admitted to this blog they were told to let their buses run idle for more than three hours [3 Aug 08]. As far as we know, that admission didn't leave the drivers idle - as in fired.

The Clean Air Campaign's efforts seem to be working in Columbus. The city still has yet to exceed federal air quality standards this year. Atlanta has had ten ozone limit violations - but city officials there will be glad to trade that ozone with the Florida panhandle, in exchange for more water from Lake Lanier.

Did you know there's already at least one "no idling" sign posted in Columbus? It's at the top of the old amphitheater above the Riverwalk at Sixth Street. The sign also says loitering is banned - so you can't even turn off your car engine to get out and chat with somebody for awhile.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A reader takes us back a couple of days, to Verification Day....

I took my son to verify at a local high school with a string of new portables..He had to report to his homeroom to pick up his schedule. His homeroom was one of the new portables.There was no electricity so,no AC, no lights and no desk.It was like being in a sardine can in a microwave oven.I have to remind myself that school starts Thursday.

Hopefully your son learned a valuable lesson from this. Stay in school under these conditions - because if you drop out and become a construction worker, the only thing you're likely to gain is sunlight.

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: We returned to Columbus reality Wednesday afternoon, from a 48-hour getaway to Walt Disney World in Florida. Well, check that - we actually were away from home two minutes longer than 48 hours. That'll teach me to drive home via Cordele and Americus, and get behind slow-moving farm equipment.

The idea of visiting Disney World developed months ago, when Disney executives announced anyone can receive free admission to any theme park on their birthday this year. Since the one-day pass price jumped from 79 to 83 dollars the other day, I saved a lot of money. And when you eat a big breakfast before entering the park, you save even more on food.

Before anyone gets wrong ideas: I tried to make the Orlando trip as low-priced as possible. Most of the money I spent was in the form of traveler's checks stashed away several years ago. And I played NO poker on the way home in an attempt to get my money back. North Florida is so sleepy, the poker room doesn't open until 11:30 a.m.

There's much to mention about the Orlando adventure, and we'll get to that in the days to come. But a few things I saw on the trip to Walt Disney World's Epcot Center reminded me of home:

+ The Fife and Drum Tavern in the American Adventure section (left) serves turkey legs and popcorn. No wonder some visitors to the National Infantry Museum are stunned by the restaurant menu.

+ The one-day Disney World parking fee was 12 dollars. The next time someone complains about paying two dollars to park at a South Commons special event, they'll get no sympathy from me.

+ Interstate 75 near Orlando takes you through Marion and Sumter Counties. Yet for some odd reason, the folks in Florida pronounce Lake Buena Vista a little differently.

We'll share much more about Disney World another day - but we're not The Blog of Orlando, so let's wrap things up with more local headlines:

+ Hurtsboro Mayor Rayford Tapley told WTVM city financial records will be opened to the public within 30 days. At last city critic Robert Schweiger will be satisfied and happy -- well, until he finds a police car parked in the wrong spot or something.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue visited Columbus Technical College, to meet with local leaders about water. Perdue suggested Congress intervene, and grant the Army Corps of Engineers the authority to allocate water. The governor is suggesting this because a good Christian man like himself dare not invite the Alabama and Florida governors over for a beer.

+ Governor Perdue also set 3 November as the special election date for the local State House seat vacated by Vance Smith. Trouble is, WLTZ's newscasts declared it the seat of "Vance Brooks." Wouldn't that be a bit more like a stretcher?

+ The University of Alabama revealed four football players had been dismissed for violating team rules. Wow - I didn't know they were so tough on having Facebook friends from Auburn.

+ Instant Message to Hardee's: I'll respond to your latest TV commercial simply with this - Fries. French Fries. What's the big difference?

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 519 (+ 28, 5.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 AUG 09: Jacko-Fest

As of today, Michael Jackson has been dead 41 days. Is it fair to declare an official end to the mourning period? Or do we have to wait for a doctor to go on trial?

Some people are flabbergasted at all the attention Michael Jackson's death has received, and say it's gone too far. If you think it's overboard now, wait until October -- when stores are likely to sell souvenir "Jacko-Lanterns."

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: While he lived, Michael Jackson gained attention in other ways - and we wrote about him many times for our national humor service LaughLine.com . Today we offer a sample....

7 Sep 01: History could be made tonight in New York, as Michael Jackson begins a concert series marking 30 years in music. The world waits to see one thing - how much makeup is he wearing now?

"People" magazine reports Michael Jackson will wear hair extensions during his New York concerts. Considering Britney Spears is also on the program, we hope some wise guy doesn't get these two mixed up....

Oops, check that: Britney Spears MAY be on the program with Michael Jackson. "Entertainment Tonight" reports she may have to back out, because of rules in her contract for a concert on Home Box Office. Spears probably wants this concert called "No-Sex and the City."

One highlight of the New York concerts is supposed to be a reunion of the Jackson Five. But there's been confusion this summer about whether Jermaine Jackson will appear with his brothers. He reportedly was upset about the high ticket prices - but then was reminded he wouldn't have to pay them.

Tickets for Michael Jackson's 30^th anniversary concerts START at 45 dollars - and the best seats cost 25-hundred bucks! Somehow we get the feeling Jackson will have more anniversary tours than Barbra Streisand had farewell concerts....

An all-star cast has been assembled to appear with Michael Jackson. There's N-Sync, Marc Anthony, Whitney Houston -- and "Entertainment Tonight" reports Marlon Brando will be on stage, playing drums! OK, what "family" got paid off to let Brando do this?

(We even heard a report Liza Minnelli will sing at the Michael Jackson concerts. Please, Britney Spears, DON'T loan her any of your outfits....)

10 Sep 01: The U.S. Open tennis tournament made history over the weekend, as the Williams sisters faced each other for the women's title.... The all-Williams final attracted all sorts of celebrities. We saw Brandy, Diana Ross, Mary Tyler Moore - in other words, everyone who was passed over for Michael Jackson's concerts.

10 Oct 01: The most popular name for U.S. baby boys these days is "Michael." Who should get the credit for this? Michael Jordan's only now coming out of retirement. Michael Jackson hasn't had a new album in awhile. Yes, it MUST be - all those people watching Presidential historian Michael Beschloss on TV news.

19 Oct 01: Dozens of music stars plan to show their support for terrorism victims this weekend. At least three major benefit concerts are planned - with everyone from George Jones to Michael Jackson. For those of you who might be confused, Jones will be the "white guy" with less hair.

30 Oct 01: New at record stores today -- Michael Jackson's album "Invincible." If the music critics are right, this C-D should have been called "Invisible." It'll disappear from the charts in no time.

(What does it say when some bookstores stayed open after midnight to sell the new "Left Behind" book - but we didn't hear of any record stores staying open to sell Michael Jackson's new album? Who's the REAL one left behind here?!?!)

"Invincible" is the album Michael Jackson tried to promote during his big 30^th anniversary concerts in September. The question now is whether fans want his new music - or whether they'll adjust one of his old songs, and declare: "He's Out of My Life."

"People" magazine recently claimed Michael Jackson wants to look more like a "tough rocker." He can try all he wants, but as long as he has a chimp named
"Bubbles," sorry....

Michael Jackson is busy with other projects these days. He's just finished work on an all-star song for charity called, "What More Can I Give." You don't think Jackson's former wives will buy that song, then call him and play it over the phone?!?!

6 Dec 01: The "New York Post" claimed Michael Jackson will be the "best man" at Liza Minnelli's next wedding in March. If Jackson is the BEST one available, we're a bit afraid to see who the worst one is.

3 Jul 02: Will Smith already has spilled the beans about another big name in "Men in Black II." There's a brief appearance by Michael Jackson! This is one time when we don't have to wonder whether the editors did a computer adjustment to Jackson's skin - because it's done for almost everybody else.

8 Jul 02: Michael Jackson apparently went ballistic in New York over the weekend. The New York Post claims he called Sony Music executive Tommy Mottola "devilish" at several appearances. We'd be more likely to believe this if Mottola's ex-wife Mariah Carey said it.

Michael Jackson claims Sony Music and Tommy Mottola conspired against him, to make his "Invincible" album less successful. Now hold on a minute! We thought CBS touched up Jackson's skin for that TV special last fall....

Michael Jackson told a Harlem news conference Sony Music's Tommy Mottola uses racial slurs - and besides that, he's "very, very, very devilish." It almost makes Jackson wish he could do a re-mix of "Thriller."

(At one point during the media event in Harlem, Michael Jackson actually kissed Al Sharpton! If Sharpton goes ahead and runs for President, the tradition of candidates kissing babies might be reversed.)

Sony Music claims it spent 25 million dollars promoting Michael Jackson's "Invincible" album. It calls the singer's claims of racism and conspiracy "ludicrous.... bizarre and ugly." Besides, is Jackson at any point actually asking people to BUY his album?

(It also must be noted that "Invincible" came out shortly after the September skyjackings - and with the Taliban's strict rules against music, many people in Afghanistan forgot Michael Jackson existed.)

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Why has our format seemed different for the last couple of days? Come back Thursday, when hopefully we'll be able to explain.)

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: Unavailable

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 AUG 09: Trust But Verify

Today is "Verification Day" in many Muscogee County schools. The administrators are verifying addresses, before the new term begins Thursday. Any child found to be living in a post office box will be reported to DFACS immediately.

The Muscogee County School web site seems to have more information than ever this year, to help with starting the new term. You can check your school's dress code. You can review the cost of lunches. And you can learn about the district's new policy for cell phones - but please don't give your child a "pop quiz" on this by calling them during class.

But with everybody getting ready for school, we wondered something - are the school web sites ready? Last winter we noted several local school sites with glaring spelling errors [29 Dec 08]. So Monday we decided to do another surprise back-to-school "spell check." It could show if the Literary Alliance should expand its "free dictionary" program beyond third-graders....

We started at Wynnton Arts Academy, and found the fifth-grade school supply list has underlined "folders WITH BRADS" in them. Brads?! Shouldn't Brad Pitt pictures be reserved for notebook covers?

A dictionary check wound up teaching ME the lesson. A "brad" is any kind of thin wire nail - so that's what you call the little things poked in the folder holes. You're not supposed to call them "thingees" after all.

So Wynnton Arts Academy had that correct. But the first grade school supply list had another surprise. Children are supposed to bring a can of tennis balls. If the teacher gets an important phone call during lesson time, this is trouble waiting to happen....

But our focus is on spelling here, and Wynnton School seemed to have everything correct. But we found trouble at Lonnie Jackson Academy's web site. The attendance policy warns against accumulating "FIFTEN (15) days" of absences. At least the number is correct, and they're not allowing 105 sick days.

We simply HAD to check Martin Luther King Elementary's web site again, after last year's firing of a teacher who couldn't spell simple words. But amazingly, "Counselors" is still lacking an "n" on the side of the home page! Is this some kind of student practice test for the CRCT or something?

The Allen Elementary web site has something very different. The school mission statement is shown in English and Spanish. I think one Spanish word is spelled closer to Portuguese - but some parents are more likely to complain about grade schools teaching Spanish words beyond "adios" and "burrito."

We also tried to check the web site of Cusseta Road Elementary School, but the link to it from the district site was declared "forbidden." It's not like I'm trying to sneak a peek at upcoming social studies tests....

But there's plenty of good news here - as we found NO spelling errors at the web sites of Hannan Academy, Midland Academy, Reese Road Elementary and St. Mary's Road Elementary School. I don't know if that means the webmasters are smarter, or they simply have more time in the school day to click the "SpellCheck" button.

One other thing surprised me as I reviewed the school web sites - how bottles of hand sanitizers have become required school supplies. It's obviously a health move, especially with the concern about H1N1 flu. But when I was a boy, we didn't even have bottles of hand sanitizers. Young men were expected to wash their hands with Lava soap -- right after Dad had his greasy paws on it.

(Strange but true: we did our own SpellCheck before posting this entry - and our computer objected to "sanitizer." It actually suggested SATIRIZER. To be honest, that's something a humor blogger can appreciate much more....)

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. People from around the world are visiting "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our Monday misinterpretation of Mapquest prompted a reader to respond....

I have learned from experience Mapquest and other directional sites are not 100% reliable..I always check a couple of them to see if the directions are the same..I have also learned from experience to print out coming and going directions..Last time I used a Tom Tom GPS it took me into a mall parking lot off the four lane I was traveling on...Guess the mall stores there did some bribery work on the Tom Tom GPS company. But,nothing beats the old map that is dog eared and can't be folded back the original way and takes you down the main street of little towns that died because the four lane went around them..

I tend to prefer old-fashioned maps as well. But maybe it's time for me to knuckle under, and invest some money in a GPS device. They've become very popular in recent years. But I'm concerned a "Tom Tom" system might bring a protest from Native American activists one of these days.

But did you hear about the European couple which missed its destination by hundreds of miles? They misspelled the name of their location on their GPS! Who knows how many thousands of tourists dollars Phenix City has lost from this?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: No, this week's "unexpected" things really haven't happened yet. Stay tuned....)

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 491 (+ 10, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 AUG 09: Mistakes Near the Lake

Did you hear the good news about some area lakes? The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has waived "day use fees" for boat docks and swimming beaches through next Sunday. For a few days, the Columbus docks have some competition - and I keep waiting for someone to drop truckloads of sand at local splash parks.

Without even knowing it, I was able to get a head start on this celebration over the weekend. I made my first-ever trip to West Point Lake. But no, I didn't go boating. I didn't go swimming. In fact, the only time I got wet was when I hurried to my car for an umbrella during an afternoon shower.

The church group I attend decided to have a weekend retreat at one of the West Point Lake campgrounds. I joined the group for a Saturday worship service and potluck lunch. You see, I don't own a tent. I don't have a sleeping bag. And dropping a futon on the ground in the open air simply would look weird.

The Corps of Engineers rules specify camping fees are NOT waived for the first nine days of August. Yet a nice woman at the campground entrance decided to let me in with NO three-dollar charge, because "it's a church group." Hopefully someone remembered to give her a "love offering" at checkout time Sunday.

Our group gathered at the Running Deer campsite, which is part of West Point Lake's Holiday Campground. The Kee Kee campsite is next to it - but so far the Corps of Engineers has resisted the temptation to rename it Kia Kia.

A breeze off the nearby lake and a mix of clouds and sun made for a marvelous worship atmosphere, and an overall splendid day. It's tempting to say it was a perfect day at the campground - but no. Someone had to bring up the Henry Louis Gates case after lunch.

The time came for me to drive home - and that's when the adventure began. The Presiding Elder at church had printed Mapquest directions in advance, for people to drive from Columbus to the campground. They worked well, except when I had to guess about whether a four-lane road was Georgia Highway 109. Apparently the state can't afford corner signs with two placards on them these days.

To return to Columbus, all I had to do was take the Mapquest directions in reverse. Right onto Georgia 109 - check. Left onto Fling Road - check. As I drove down that road, I presumed it would be my last Fling for the afternoon....

But then trouble happened. I turned left from Fling Road onto U.S. Highway 29. In one mile I should have seen Lukken Industrial Drive, and I presumed the worst I could do was wind up in the heart of LaGrange. About 15 miles later, I was proven wrong - as my car was at the edge of downtown West Point.

I turned around at a gas station, and drove the other direction down U.S. 29. I must have missed the turn for Lukken Industrial Drive, right?! Yet no signs appeared for it - and soon I was back at Fling Road. This simply is NOT supposed to happen when a guy follows directions.

A Shell station stands at the corner of Fling Road and Georgia 109. I stopped there and traded a bottle of diet cola for some information. A woman behind the counter wrote on my sheet "Gabbetville," for making a right turn toward Columbus. I remembered this road, because signs point there for driving to the Kia plant. Hopefully the signs beyond that would be in English, and not Korean....

But I soon found a problem with this woman's advice. Gabbetville Road was a LEFT turn off U.S. 29. A right turn put me on Upper Glass Bridge Road. I took that right turn, and eventually wound up at a West Point Lake campground entrance. It was as if days of rain had made the lake start creeping over its banks.

That right turn occurred at a landmark the Shell employee had noted - a little store called Ribitz. I stopped there and asked a second time for directions. But the man there tried to convince me to drive back to West Point, then get on Interstate 85. In other words, being 15 miles off-course actually was right?! Maybe on the lake, where so many boat docks look alike....

I rejected the Ribitz employee's advice, and concluded Lukken Industrial Drive must have changed names at some point. But this conclusion forced me to try every left turn between the store and Fling Road, heading away from West Point. None of them were right - and I was almost ready to fling my instruction sheet out the window in frustration.

But on one wrong road, I received better guidance. A Troup County Sheriff's Deputy had pulled over a driver at the entrance to a subdivision. I stopped my car behind his squad car, put up my hands with my instruction sheet. We weren't even asked to surrender this much, back at the worship service.

The deputy was at his car, doing some kind of check on the driver he'd pulled over. But he was nice enough to help a man who admittedly was completely lost -- giving me two landmarks for finding Lukken Industrial Drive: a Chevron station and a Domino's Pizza shop. I "had 30 minutes," but I'd squandered it already on wrong roads.

The deputy was correct - and I turned out to be very wrong. Way back at Fling Road and U.S. 29, I didn't transpose the Mapquest directions properly. I should have turned right, not left. I missed Lukken Industrial Drive by only one mile - but this was one time when a miss was as good as 50.

So I was wrong in reversing the Mapquest sheet - but the woman at the Shell station reinforced my mistake, by sending me the wrong way after I asked for her advice. And the Georgia Department of Transportation didn't help, because there are NO signs along the LaGrange-West Point road telling you which town is ahead. Maybe next time I should take a woman with me to these road trips?!

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. People from around the world are visiting "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: A local activist has spread a couple of mass e-mails against the current hot topic before Columbus Council. This one was addressed (more or less) directly to us....

Do you support this office of Crime Prevention and a salaried Director making $63,000 plus a year?

I am sure you have seen my concerns. I just have a bad gut feeling about this and I have learned to trust my gut over time, even though I'm skinny as a rail.

Anyhow, I do believe its needed but we need a blue print, schematics of day to day operations. An agenda that has to be met by its director or they find another job. If this person will make over $60 K a year for this position and have a clerk, I expect a lot more from them along with a vigorous work load to ensure this office is working to tax payer expectations.

Our city managers office has within it salaried over $300 K. Why can't the city manager remove one deputy and create the office of Crime Prevention with the money saved?

I want to know what you think and why. Hope to hear back from all of you soon.

Jeremy S Hobbs

Chairman and Founder

The Chattahoochee Valley Better Way Foundation, Inc.

Jeremy Hobbs may not realize we tend to stay neutral, when it comes to big issues like this one. Besides, we really wouldn't expect a city Crime Prevention Director to come to our door and offer to check all the locks.

But wait a minute -- what's this business about the Crime Prevention Director having a clerk? I haven't heard anyone suggest this before. But then again, I'm getting so old that I still assume the Government Center has a "steno pool" somewhere.

I don't claim to speak for Mayor Jim Wetherington, but I suspect he'd say the Crime Prevention Director would be funded from a different part of the budget than the City Manager's staff. That office is part of the "streets and safety" sales tax, while the Deputy City Managers are funded from general revenues. Of course, the right grant application might provide money for three of everything.

The Crime Prevention Director issue is NOT on Tuesday's Columbus Council agenda. That's because it's Proclamation Day, with the mayor handing out awards to several city employees. But Mayor Jim Wetherington forgot one big event, which could help the city in that fight for stimulus money. There's no proclamation to mark President Obama's birthday.

By the way, when it comes to "trusting your gut" - I've done that far too much in recent weeks. And that may explain why my running totals are down this summer.

Now let's wrap up other items from a mid-summer weekend:

+ The four-day Georgia sales tax holiday ended. I found plenty of people shopping for shoes at Peachtree Mall during the afternoon. And one store had so many employees wearing striped shirts that I thought I'd stumbled into a training camp for football officials.

(Then there was the store which offers shoes for "technical running." The staff member laughed when I asked if they were for jogs through industrial parks.)

+ Fort Benning hosted the "Warrior of the Year" contest for the Army National Guard. Athletes at Russell County High School will have to settle for the usual laps around the track.

+ The Christ Community Church broadcast on WBOJ-FM featured an admission by Pastor Keith Cowart. Construction of a new building along Milgen Road has been suspended, due to a lack of funds. I'm not sure why they haven't offered the open lot to those drive-in movie promoters - because high-priced popcorn can build a jackpot in a hurry.

+ The "West Georgia Auburn Club" held a mid-summer picnic in Columbus, complete with an appearance by Aubie the mascot. It must be strange to be a collegiate Tiger - since you're expected to hibernate during summer, not winter.

+ Instant Message to the guys in the car in the Sonic commercial: I'm sorry -- you're wrong. The legal age for becoming a member of Congress is 25, not 35. It may have helped you remember your locker combination years ago, but it might also explain your "B" grade in U.S. government class.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 481 (- 47, 8.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

2 AUG 09: Speed Pass

August is here, and the "lazy days of summer" truly have arrived. In fact, all Georgia state employees apparently will get to participate this year. The official name for it is "furlough."

Georgia's government is so strapped for cash that all sorts of state agencies are ordering staff members to take furloughs. As of Saturday, the order included the Georgia State Patrol - which may explain why my drive on Interstate 185 seemed more carefree than usual.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports Georgia state troopers may have to take two furlough days a month, from now through December. But please remember: state driving laws still apply. If you see a patrol car parked along the side of the highway due to a furlough, you should slow down or move to a different lane.

I didn't realize until Saturday that nearly half of Georgia's State Patrol posts virtually shut down overnight, due to a tight budget. That means NO troopers are out watching plenty of highways -- but there's probably a bright side to this. County sheriff's departments have a chance to set new records for speeding fines.

Yet the Georgia State Patrol somehow had enough money to break ground this past week for a new post in Americus. Well, actually Americus did - as city sales tax money apparently will pay for the building. If the Columbus mayor had thought of this, our city finally might have a patrol post instead of Manchester and LaGrange.

Georgia's budget crunch is affecting other state departments as well. Recent news reports have listed some of them:

+ Agriculture Department - three days of furloughs this fall. Let's all be thankful food plants have to report their own violations now.

+ Health Department -- three days of furloughs this fall. At least the staff can choose in advance which days they'll call in sick.

+ Department of Natural Resources -- six days of furloughs through December. Hopefully state parks will keep looking nice on those days off.

Clearly this is a difficult time for state workers, who face unplanned days off and less pay. But Georgia is missing a great opportunity here. Why not do what parts of Columbus city government do? Make this a teachable moment - and fill in for furloughed workers with state prison inmates.

The idea of using inmates in Georgia state labor isn't really my idea. Roy Barnes brought it up during his 1998 campaign for Governor - suggesting in one TV commercial he'd use inmates to build new prisons. Barnes admittedly forgot that suggestion once he took office. Perhaps he was afraid inmates would throw cinder blocks at each other.

The other day, I saw Columbus inmates in my neighborhood doing something I'd never seen them do before. They operated a device to level wet concrete around a sewer, so it could be paved over. It looked like good training for a civilian job on a construction crew - or if all else fails, teaching horseback riding.

So why not use Georgia prison inmates at state agencies for a couple of days this fall? The Agriculture Department could have them inspect the pecan crop - and a few budget-conscious growers might ask them to clear the trees as well.

Some state prison inmates should fit in well at local Health Department offices. Who better to administer swine flu vaccines than someone who's experienced with hypodermic needles?

But wait a minute, you may be saying - you can't possibly have Georgia prison inmates fill in for state troopers. Well, why not? Some of them already know the strategy and secrets of high-speed chases. As long as the patrol cars have GPS devices, to verify the inmates don't pursue speeders all the way to Nashville....

(There's another advantage to having prison inmates substitute for state troopers. Many of them could spot a counterfeit license plate from 200 yards away.)

If you have a better cost-cutting idea for Georgia, please let us know. Meanwhile, let's move on to other weekend headlines:

+ Fort Benning began its annual combatives tournament. The weekend TV news showed several matches in progress at the same time -- so this could go beyond mixed martial arts, to mixed mat-ial hurts.

+ The Northern All-Stars lost the Georgia Little League finals to Warner Robins American. Warner Robins takes the state title for the third year in a row - so is it time for Northern to do some recruiting in Stewart and Schley Counties?

+ The Alabama State University trustees voted to increase tuition 22 percent. Wow - it looks like we've found the Montgomery neighborhood with the highest gas prices....

+ Instant Message to NewImage MedSpa on Whitesville Road: Let me get this straight. Based on your ad in the mail, mothers should send their children back to school - then have a "pamper party." What about the mothers of preschoolers? Do you also offer Pampers parties?

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 528 (- 47, 8.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.