10 JUL 09: He's Walkin'

Thursday was a nice day in Columbus, especially considering it's July. The high temperature was 88 degrees F. - and if that wasn't enough motivation to keep my air conditioner turned off, the arrival of my monthly electric bill was.

It was a great day to go outside and exercise - and Austin Scott did exactly that. Not only did he walk around Columbus, he walked INTO downtown Columbus from Harris County. And unlike most people who make that walk, Scott had no plans to stage a protest at the Fort Benning gate.

Georgia State Rep. Austin Scott did NOT walk across Columbus to raise money for some sort of cause. He did it to promote his campaign for Georgia Governor. And when he.... oh wait. Scott WAS raising money for a cause, wasn't he? It's called his campaign fund....

Austin Scott clearly is making a "Walk of Georgia" as a political publicity stunt. But the web site promoting the walk says one of his goals is to give voters "a chance to be heard." Scott could have saved a lot of time and shoe leather, simply by posting a phone number.

(This is an interesting twist on the old saying - as Scott walks the walk, but lets other people talk the talk.)

Austin Scott stopped his hike long enough to talk with reporters outside the downtown Burger King. But the TV coverage disappointed me a bit - because I would have asked Scott if all that walking proves he's against state public transportation funding.

Austin Scott told WLTZ he's trying to show Georgians he's "willing to feel their pain." Wow - do THAT many residents have athlete's foot and ingrown toenails?

Austin Scott's family is with him on parts of his 1,025-mile walk. But updates on his web site indicate he has campaign aides following him in a car. Scott refers to the aides as "men in black" - but you wonder if a better description might be "men out of shape."

The web site also reveals a few drivers north of Columbus have stopped to offer Austin Scott a ride. Scott is turning them down, of course -- since he's a Republican, and only Democrats would embrace the concept of freeloading.

As of Thursday night, Austin Scott's web site and Twitter account had NOT been updated to reflect his impressions of Columbus. Of course, one big issue for him should be the quality of the sidewalks....

The idea of a gubernatorial candidate walking across a state is nothing new. I lived in the Kansas City area when "Walkin' Joe Teasdale" trudged across Missouri in 1976. He won the Governor's race - but amazingly, he needed a car to get around the state four years later at re-election time.

The idea of walking across Georgia isn't really new, either. Remember the Blog of Columbus team which took part in the "Walk Georgia" exercise campaign last year? [30 Apr 08] One of these days, I might actually try assembling the team together - for low-fat sandwiches at Subway, of course.

A map is posted online, showing Austin Scott's projected walking path. For some reason, he's going around the border counties - as if voters in Albany and Macon already have decided to vote for John Oxendine in the Republican primary next summer.

It's also interesting that Austin Scott's walking path will end at the state capitol, apparently by heading down Georgia 400 through north Fulton County. From the way it looks, he wants to avoid running into Roy Barnes in Cobb County at all costs.

Let's see what else was fun to talk about, on a Thursday when sad local news seemed to be everywhere....

+ Evening newscasts showed a church group from Tennessee, which is repairing homes on Fifth Avenue for a summer mission project. This group apparently decided a prayer for healing through the "laying on of hands" works on humans, but not roofs.

+ Georgia insurance investigators raided the McDougald Funeral Home in Butler. A search warrant shown on the late-night news accused the owner of persuading people to sign life insurance policies with the funeral home as the beneficiary. Now there's a clever way around waiting for the credit card bills to be paid.

+ CNN visited West Point, to check on the city's economic growth. Mayor A. Drew Ferguson confessed he sometimes calls his town "Kia-Ville." Conservatives who have fled to Heard County probably pronounce it a bit differently - Korea-Ville.

+ Auburn University provided a media tour of its new basketball arena, midway through its construction. Project manager Randy Byars said the arena will have 80 TV screens on the concourse. Wow, how times have changed - because when I was in college, the student union's "TV room" had only one.

(Randy Byars told WRBL sound from Auburn Arena will be "pumped into the bathrooms." Parents should NOT be concerned about this. During non-conference basketball games in December, it still should be quiet enough to rock your baby to sleep.)

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

9 JUL 09: Fort Yes, City No

Remember the Instant Message we posted Tuesday, about someone asking for an investigation by the Alabama Attorney General? The story behind that request went public Wednesday -- and some people found fault with the entire Phenix City Council, not merely one member. Perhaps the council shouldn't have apologized to each other after all.

A group of Fort Mitchell residents went before the Russell County Commission, to complain about an effort to have their neighborhood annexed into Phenix City. The effort is led by Phenix City Councilor Arthur Sumbry - who apparently wants more people to experience the thrill of voting for two Sumbrys, instead of only the Russell County Coroner.

The Fort Mitchell residents say Arthur Sumbry is trying to get them to sign petitions to become part of Phenix City. Sumbry claims among other things, annexation will allow them to have city sewer service - which suggests to me the petition drive came before that sewer line broke in June.

But is Arthur Sumbry telling the truth? Our mysterious Phenix City postal mailer who asked for a state investigation doesn't think so:

This councilman tells these county residents that "grants" will be available to make this happen. The origin of these promises date back at least four years. Those unfortunae souls who fell for this still do not have sanitary sewage. The only change in their status is that they are now paying "higher property taxes."

As for increased city services these citizens alreadyhad city police protection (jurisdiction), fire protection (mutual aid agreements with the city fire department), garbage collection (by the county). Furthermore all of these citizens are not located in the Phenix City Water Utility Jurisdiction.

Councilor Arthur Sumbry confirmed to WRBL he's tried to convince Fort Mitchell residents to be annexed in the past, but the petition drive fell short. He can't even promise them a new Subway restaurant will be coming.

The postal mail goes on to ask Alabama Attorney General Troy King to issue Arthur Sumbry "at a minimum a 'public reprimand'...." The upset Fort Mitchell residents did that in so many words Wednesday -- and at least Phenix City Councilor Jimmy Wetzel was there, to tell Sumbry what they said.

(Our snail mailer also wants the U.S. Justice Department to examine whether Fort Mitchell residents "have been deliberately misled." Does he really expect officials in Washington to step into this? After all, Karl Rove left the White House staff several years ago.)

Resident Shirley Smith later said the fault goes beyond Arthur Sumbry, to the entire Phenix City Council. She believes other council members have been kept in the dark about the petition drive in Fort Mitchell. Well, at least Sumbry isn't upsetting people by hanging around City Hall all day....

The Phenix City Attorney noted there's no law against Councilor Arthur Sumbry going to residents outside the city limits, and asking them to sign an annexation petition. After all, how far would we go with rules like this? Next thing you know, Auburn University might be barred from recruiting Columbus athletes.

But there are two sides to this annexation issue. Is it fair that Fort Mitchell residents have access to all sorts of Phenix City services, yet don't pay city property taxes? You can't have your fire department chili night and eat it, too....

But then again, the Ledger-Enquirer noted the other day that Fort Mitchell is a fast-growing area. Perhaps the protesting residents dream of having their own city in a few years -- and with so many soldiers moving there due to base realignment, Fort Mitchell could be patrolled by military police.

-> We're playing live poker two nights a week these days. Check how things are going (and more) at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of Russell County, guess who's writing us from Hurtsboro....

"Sir" Richard:

I see you are still of the mind-set that I am Ounti or whatever he calls himself. You don't know how wrong you are.

I do not scrawl and if I had any breaking news, you would be the first to receive it.I haven't forgotten all the good coverage you provided for the public in the past about the "shenanigans" in "Hurt'sboro.

It's rumored. But since I don't deal in rumors. I cannot tell you that the Mayor, the "Mare," and the Mayor Pro tem are fighting like cats and dogs.

Its just a rumor - so I won't pass it on.

Constable R.J. Schweiger?????

Thank you for not forgetting such things -- but I can't forget the time the former Constable called me a buffoon [19 Feb 07]. The mysterious mail from "Russell C. Ounti" began shortly after that. Several Alabama readers are convinced Schweiger wrote them - but then, some members of Congress are convinced Michael Jackson was a criminal.

Back in Columbus, Wednesday's thoughts about high school transfers prompted a reader to ask....

Why didn't the Ledger or Ms Fuller give the number of transfers out of Kendrick.?

One local high school for years has had a large number of transfers from there.I didn't see any where in the Ledger article that more bathrooms were being added to the schools that are over crowded.

Perhaps Columbus High needs to go back to being only a part magnet school to absorb their share of transfers.

Muscogee County Schools Director of Communications Valerie Fuller told me Wednesday the Kendrick number still hasn't been determined. That's also true with Shaw High School - where you may have noticed plenty of budding baseball stars have transferred to Columbus already.

Valerie Fuller says it could be September before a final report on "average yearly progress" is ready for Kendrick and Shaw High Schools. The number of transfers will be based in part on the results of science retesting - so the district can't do the math until students do the chemistry.

As for the extra bathrooms: Valerie Fuller checked for me, and said none will be added alongside the portables. Transferring students will have to go inside the high schools, like everyone else -- as opposed to "going" between the portables.

Let's take one more e-mail, on a very different topic:

Hi - my name is Clay bushong and I do online marketing for record companies.

We have an artist - Adam Hood - that is playing The Loft this weekend.

Not sure if you review CDs or shows but would love to send you the CD to mention the show on your blog

Let me know what you think

Thanks!

clay

Adam Hood and his publicist would help their cause, if his web site actually mentioned a performance at The Loft. It didn't Wednesday night -- but if Hood is making some money while attending the Jehovah's Witness convention at the Civic Center, we wish him well.

(The Loft's web site does mention Adam Hood's concert on Saturday night. It's only five dollars a ticket, while The Marshall Tucker Band at the Phenix City Amphitheater costs ten dollars - and remember, the Amphitheater does NOT have pool tables if the music gets boring.)

In the Internet age, a blogger doesn't need to review CD's in advance. I sampled some of Adam Hood's music on Myspace - and other than a few four-letter words, it seems all right to me. The title "Buzzes Like Neon" surprised me, since I thought most young adults became buzzed on energy drinks these days.

Thanks to all of you who write from far and near - and now let's quickly review other Wednesday headlines:

+ Two men who drove away from a Muscogee County Prison work detail were captured in Las Vegas. The inmates apparently missed the start of the World Series of Poker "Main Event" - and apparently didn't realize they needed a $10,000 "buy-in" to enter.

+ Allstate released a survey showing Columbus has the second-safest drivers in Georgia, behind only Augusta. My hometown of Kansas City, Kansas tops both of them -- which surprises me, because drivers there have a NASCAR track for inspiration.

(The average Columbus driver has a collision every 9.5 years. My last one came last year, when someone bumped into my car in a church parking lot and broke a taillight. Part of me wanted even worse damage, so my old Honda could be declared a total loss.)

+ WRBL aired a report on what Columbus Woodbats manager Adam Johnson says to players during a game. Yet I was more drawn to the pictures of Golden Park, with a lot of empty seats. This team may need to hold "Military Appreciation Night" every other game for the rest of the summer.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths announced captain Craig Stahl will return for one final season. Yes, hockey fans - the old Stahl game isn't over yet.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

8 JUL 09: Good Portables, Bad Portables

Several years ago this blog received a series of e-mail complaints about portable classrooms outside Hardaway High School. Based on the Tuesday evening news, the complaints may be coming again. Midtown Columbus may have to re-do its commercials, to show a modified mobile home park.

Muscogee County school officials say portables will be needed at Hardaway and Northside High Schools this fall, to accommodate more than 300 transferring students. And the transfers have nothing to do with base realignment - so please do NOT start rumors about BRAC families replacing the Third Brigade.

Hardaway and Northside High will take in students from other Muscogee County schools which failed to make "adequate yearly progress." Maybe we need a high school musical to motivate students at the other locations. Start by adjusting an old Michael Jackson song from "P.Y.T." to "A.Y.P."

Muscogee County school spokesperson Valerie Fuller says more than 120 students are transferring away from Spencer High School, while about 95 will move away from Carver High. Alumni groups want these students tattooed, so they never try to attend future Carver-Spencer football games.

Sad to say, Carver and Jordan High Schools had NO students qualify for the "STAR Student" award this past term. The award is based in part on matching the national average scores on the S.A.T. exam. No, Carver could NOT declare Jarvis Jones a "star student" simply for making football all-star teams.

If students at Carver and Jordan are having this much difficulty, it's no wonder dozens of them are transferring to other high schools. They may be stuck in portables - but they apparently decided an "out-house" is better than a poor house.

But the Muscogee County School Board doesn't agree with everything that's portable. A work session Tuesday night reviewed new tougher rules for students carrying cell phones. I'm not sure what led to this change - unless Columbus High School students snapped pictures of teachers in compromising positions.

WRBL listed the potential punishment for using a cell phone before or after school. On the first offense, the phone would be confiscated for three days. On the second offense, detention would be added. And on the third offense, students should face those weird guys on TV who can't stand Alltel.

My old high school actually had a telephone in the journalism classroom. The newspaper staff (including me) would use it to make calls about stories. The yearbook staff probably used it to recruit advertisers. But I doubt anyone used it to call friends at other schools - because this was so long ago that I don't think cell phones were invented yet.

Is this a good idea -- cracking down on students using cell phones during the school day? For one thing, some kind of disaster could occur in a classroom. For another thing, the "phone a friend" concept has helped countless contestants on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

BLOG UPDATE: WRBL finally pinned down a Phenix City official Tuesday about last week's blog exclusive on a sewage spill. Utility Director Steve Smith said the problem was repaired quickly, with NO sign of dead fish. Would it be wrong to assume the fish swimming in Holland Creek are (ahem) crappie?

While Steve Smith says the broken sewer line was fixed quickly, Phenix City workers still were busy Tuesday. They repaired one of the Holland Creek banks where the leak occurred three weeks ago. So please ask your children to be careful around all banks -- and not only the ones with high foreclosure rates.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We heard from an aide to Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington about Tuesday's top topic....

Hi, Richard --

Just a slight correction in your blog today about collection of the LOST money. The sales tax increase went into effect January 1, 2009. Money collected from the LOST has not been budgeted until the Fiscal Year 2010 budget which went into effect July 1, 2009. The figures the Mayor and City Manager gave include information gathered since the tax went into effect six months ago.

JudyT

That's where I admittedly was a bit confused. One TV newscast declared the local option sales tax "took effect" last week [2 Jul]. Maybe it only took effect for the city finance department.

We have to put a disclaimer on our next e-mail. The link a reader sent is for ADULTS ONLY, so copy and paste at your own risk:

the boom boom lady was the hot slut of the day on d lister

http://dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/4 scroll down to july 4th

Now hold on here - it was a tie. Both the "Bang Bang Lady" and the "Boom Boom Lady" from Fireworks Outlet were awarded this notorious title for Independence Day. Our head-to-head Big Blog Question last year ended in a tie as well. So maybe it's time to settle this with a "highest bottle rocket" playoff.

"More Sessions" was the title of one more e-mail we've received. It provided extra details on Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions's campaign money - this time, in terms of who's giving to him. In recent years, Sessions has received more than $48,000 from the University of South Alabama and $34,100 from the University of Alabama. Auburn gave so little that it's no wonder Richard Shelby claims the federal pork there.

Now let's check other political news, and assorted other stuff:

+ Richard Hyatt's web site speculated Columbus attorney Ron Mullins may challenge Josh McKoon next year, for the State Senate seat Seth Harp is giving up. Remembering last year, I have a suggestion for Mullins - file all your campaign forms before you announce you're running.

+ Phenix City Mayor Sonny Coulter announced he hopes to give city employees a "cost of living" pay raise in his proposed budget. He calls it the right thing to do. Well, yeah - if the city council and mayor are going to vote themselves a big raise, they might as well share the wealth.

+ Alabama state officials announced the new "Sweet Home Alabama" license plate with a beach scene is outselling the "God Bless America" plate by a three-to-one margin. Somewhere in the state, Don Siegelman heard this and began planning another "lottery for education" campaign.

+ Athens, Alabama authorities arrested a man on charges of attacking his girlfriend, then police officers. One of the suspect's alleged weapons was a bag of frozen foods. I never thought about using asparagus spears like javelin spears before....

+ The Atlanta Hawks reached a tentative agreement on a new three-year contract for guard Mike Bibby. I think this means LeBron James considers Georgia a bit too humid.

+ Instant Message to Carmike Cinemas: That was kind of you, to show the Michael Jackson memorial service for free on a giant movie screen. But when did you name someone a "City Manager?" Are you trying to start rumors about Isaiah Hugley's future again?

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

7 JUL 09: Millions LOST

Talk about a stunning announcement! Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington said Monday he expects a major shortfall in revenue from the "streets and safety" LOST sales tax -- the tax which took effect only six days ago. Did that many people stay away from the holiday weekend sales?

Mayor Wetherington told WLTZ the city expects a five-million dollar shortfall from the new one-percent sales tax. The goal was $36 million in revenue. If only $31 million is coming in, the 100 new police officers may have to get used to riding around Columbus on bicycles.

Mayor Wetherington explained the slow economy has led to a shortfall in city sales tax revenue. City Manager Isaiah Hugley has noted in recent months, the overall revenue has been down about 30 percent from 2008. And you wondered why so many police officers were patrolling Interstate 185 last weekend....

Don't blame a lack of tourists for the drop in sales tax revenue. Peter Bowden with the Columbus Convention and Visitors Bureau said the number of visitors should be about even with 2008. OK - but how many Jehovah's Witnesses brought coolers, and are eating in the Civic Center parking lot?

The news report didn't explain what Mayor Jim Wetherington plans to do about this five-million dollar LOST budget gap. Will Columbus have to settle for 80 new police officers, instead of 100? Or will some public works employees get in their trucks, and find badges making them sheriff's deputies?

The comment from the mayor appeared on TV as a public hearing was held on one LOST project - the city's plans to widen Moon Road. Apparently that work is still on, despite the five-million dollar budget gap. If it wasn't, someone would have started singing "How High the Moon."

The city plans to start widening Moon Road in the next few weeks - beginning with an expansion to four lanes north of J.R. Allen Parkway. Once again, southsiders get the raw end of the deal....

The biggest debate at the forum apparently was about widening Moon Road south of J.R. Allen Parkway next year, from Whittlesey Boulevard roughly to Miller Road. City officials decided to adjust that section from two lanes to three - providing drivers late for work with a lot of temptation.

Some people who live along Moon Road want the southern section widened to four lanes, or even five. But one man opposed any widening at all, saying it will invite more traffic on the street. Someone should tell that man there's wide-open evidence to the contrary on Martin Luther King Boulevard.

While the city may be short on money for public safety, the public safety personnel have been busy raising money on their own. Columbus firefighters are on their annual campaign to "fill the boot" with donations to fight muscular dystrophy. Doesn't it make you wonder where the SECOND empty boot is? Did some fire captain retire, and take one home as a souvenir?

On top of that, the phone rang at home Monday night about the annual Fraternal Order of Police fund-raiser. Apparently the LOST revenue won't provide enough money for programs to keep young people away from drugs. Either that, or the director of the new city Crime Prevention office needs to come from the F.O.P. - complete with its checkbook.

A money matter tops our check of other Monday news....

+ The Josh McKoon campaign for State Senate announced it's already raised nearly $44,000. That's nice to know - but if McKoon is as true-blue hard-core Republican as he claims, he'll only spend $5,000 and give back the rest.

+ The owner of the BMW Social Club in Opelika announced he's closing the business, after two shootings in four months. I'm a bit surprised it didn't close because conservatives staged a protest, demanding it be named after a U.S. car company such as Ford.

(But then again, I read online Monday night that the Warner Robins City Council has suspended the license of the "Cadillac II" nightclub. It's enough to make the Sputnik Bar near downtown Columbus sound innocent.)

+ The Columbus Lions advanced in the indoor football playoffs by felling Fayetteville 45-36. The Lions beat Fayetteville three times in a four-week span - which may go down as the most unusual "three-and-out" in football history.

(The Lions will be at home for a semifinal game next Monday night against Reading, Pennsylvania -- except WRBL spelled it Redding, as in California. Someone there needs to go to "PlayDate Columbus" and review the Monopoly board.)

+ Instant Message to our mysterious Phenix City "snail mailer": If you're going to ask Alabama Attorney General Troy King to investigate a city council member, shouldn't you help King a little - by naming the council member? It might save some time and money....

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: A "Bang Bang Lady" leftover....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 587 (+ 19, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

6 JUL 09: The Dating Games

The idea sounded original, yet old-fashioned - a monthly Saturday night series in Birmingham where you pay a ten-dollar cover charge, then play games all evening long. It sounds like something I did years ago, in Atlanta and other places. Except you brought your own games, and the church singles group might not even ask for a donation.

The public radio program "Marketplace" had a Friday evening report ten days ago on the game nights in Birmingham. Grown-ups were getting their kicks playing children's games such as "Operation" - you know, "the goofy game where you're the doctor." The only thing missing in that game is the malpractice attorney....

This report made me wonder - if the organizers can put on a game night in Birmingham to make money, why can't I? If no one else did it, I'd win my own real-life version of "Monopoly."

But hesitation wound up costing me, as apparently other people listen to "Marketplace" as well. This past week, I received two e-mails promoting this sort of night in Columbus. Take this one...

What is Play Date?

It's an alternative to the typical night out.

PlayDate provides a fun and exciting atmosphere where you can enjoy good food & cocktails, listen to a variety of music, socialize, and meet great people all while playing games. ALL KINDS OF GAMES- from Poker to Chess, Twister to UNO, Monopoly to Taboo, Hungry Hungry Hippos to Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, and EVERYTHING in between! We even feature nostalgic favorites like Pac-Man and PlayDate Signature games like Musical Chairs, Simon Says, and Hula Hoops.

It turns out PlayDate is a franchise, which started five years ago in Atlanta. But there's nothing wrong with that. It's an organized way to earn Play-Dough.

The PlayDate Columbus invitation is for all adults, but the name and promotion seems to emphasize singles. And if too many guys (ahem) make a "play" for the same gal, they can always fight it out fair and square -- with those robots, of course.

This is the sort of date night where I probably could do well, because I was a big game player when I was young. In fact, some would say I still am -- but I'll let you follow the link to that poker blog....

Long before I took up poker, other games had my interest. The biggest rivalry with my older brother was at the Monopoly board. He always seemed to beat me. I always seemed to whine about it. And that may explain why I never take my tennis racquet, when I go on vacation to see him.

Open my bedroom closet door, and along with hanging clothes you'll find a PlayDate simply waiting to happen. Along with a Monopoly game, you'll find among other things....

+ Take 12 - a Parker Brothers dice game which was adapted into the old TV game show "High Rollers." Except you don't have to answer questions to gain control of the dice, and Ruta Lee doesn't always roll them for you.

+ Pente. An Oklahoman invented this strategy board game during the years when I lived in that state. While it's still online, the board version seems to be Pente-gone.

+ Scrabble. Those of you with Facebook accounts may remember this one -- along with how many combined workdays you wasted, while playing people in other cubicles.

+ Gil Hodges' Pennant Fever - a table baseball game from about 1971, when Hodges managed the New York Mets. For those of you under 30: this is all baseball fans had before Internet fantasy leagues, and you didn't have to pay transaction fees.

There's only one potential problem for me with a PlayDate night. While I have fun playing games, make no mistake - I play to win. This may have cost me some friends in a church singles group years ago, when we played hearts. I collected all of them twice in a row, and the game suddenly was suspended.

PlayDate Columbus plans to make its local premiere 24 July at the Doubletree Hotel. But I noticed the hotel address is misspelled as "Sidney SIMMONS Boulevard" -- so be prepared to win a door prize, if they hold an on-the-spot spelling bee.

While PlayDate Columbus will be on the wrong night of the week for me, I think this idea is ingenious. Lots of people play online games, but this will be an opportunity to play people face-to-face and interact. Of course, the challenge for some people will be chatting without text abbreviations....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to another popular game - politics. A reader sent an item with this title....

FYI Sessions gives to Specter

That was followed by an entry from the Center for Responsive Politics. It shows a $5,000 donation to Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania from Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions's "Tallatchee Creek" political action committee. Tallatchee Creek is located southwest of Montgomery - in an area where you'd think that much money is only around after the cotton crop is in.

The Tallatchee Creek PAC made its $5,000 donation to Sen. Arlen Specter during the first quarter of this year. At the time, both Jeff Sessions and Specter were Republicans. But in April, Specter switched to the Democrats. I don't know if Sessions asked for his money back - or if he's waiting for another Pennsylvania Republican who will get a personal campaign visit with his check.

A closer look at the PAC report shows Tallatchee Creek received $2,500 during the first quarter of this year from Aflac. But then, Aflac divides its political donations fairly evenly between Democrats and Republicans. After all, ducks can ride donkeys just as easily as elephants.

And from our postal mail comes a scrawled message, which we believe is from former Hurtsboro Constable Robert Schweiger. We're admittedly leaving out a personal section of it:

There is going to be lots of news in AL soon.

But you were naughty - so you won't get any of it....

Huh?! Since when has my daily count of chocolate chip cookies made a difference in getting news tips?

Now let's wrap up other interesting items from the Independence Day weekend:

+ A day-night Sunday doubleheader of thundershowers dropped more than a half-inch of rain on Columbus. It also cooled off the temperature enough that I used floor fans without running an air conditioner. That's remarkable for early July - but I didn't celebrate by dancing, because that would have worked up enough of a sweat to require the air conditioner.

+ The weekly Saturday midday test of Columbus storm sirens occurred about 75 minutes late. It's not clear why the siren didn't sound at 12:00 noon. I assumed the Jehovah's Witnesses in convention at the Civic Center were deep in prayer at that moment.

+ A holiday "Columbus Tea Party" rally was held outside the Government Center, protesting President Obama's national energy bill. Since the proposal is tied to climate change, hopefully the protesters dumped jars of sun tea.

(One big issue for the Tea Party protesters is a "cap and trade" emissions policy. I don't quite understand the fuss about this. Pro basketball teams have traded players for years, to stay under the salary cap.)

+ The Miss Georgia pageant staged an event at the Columbus State University Cunningham Center, to officially crown "Miss Georgia 2009.2" Emily Cook. The pageant probably is being very careful, to avoid going to the second runner-up. For instance, I wouldn't expect Cook to appear on "Deal or No Deal."

+ An attorney for Richard Scrushy denied the convicted HealthSouth chief executive has stashed about $600 million in overseas bank accounts. He called such talk "ridiculous" - but you'll notice he has yet to prove that, by releasing his checks for legal fees.

+ Columbus native Edwin Jackson was named to the American League All-Star team. Jackson plays for Detroit, and is one of 13 pitchers on the roster. So instead of "three strikes, you're out," he may be under the rule of "three outs, you're stricken."

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Woodbats: I've finally figured out why your team logo looks familiar. That "bat" with the mustache really is a refugee from Milwaukee....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 568 (- 31, 5.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

5 JUL 09: A Saturday Night Special

Happy Fifth of July to you. Unless you're one of those who drank your fifth on the fourth, if you know what I mean....

I suspected my Saturday night run on the Riverwalk would be different, because crowds of people would be out to watch fireworks. So what happened? Come join me on the jogging trail....

0.05 miles: Approaching Broadway, firecrackers already can be heard in the distant west. It's illegal to shoot them in the Phenix City limits - but people probably run out of gas on their way home from Fireworks Outlet.

0.25 miles: Between Golden Park and the Riverwalk, the lawn is swarming with soldiers. Either they're receiving a special tribute from the Columbus Woodbats, or someone told them an autographed Saddam Hussein playing card is hiding in the grass.

I've never felt safer on a Saturday night run in my life - passing by dozens of soldiers as I head down the ramp to the Riverwalk. But I know better than to run south from the ramp. Earlier in the day, I saw a section of the South Commons parking lot blocked off - clearly to prepare for a fireworks show. It's yet another reason to wear a helmet at the skateboard park.

The Riverwalk near South Commons is the wrong place to be, when a baseball team has a post-game fireworks show. I learned this the hard way during a run five years ago [8 Aug 04] - with explosions above me, spent shells falling around me, and a wartime experience even more lifelike than the National Infantry Museum's displays.

0.6 miles: So after turning right to head north on the Riverwalk, I jog by two Fort Benning soldiers sitting on the hillside. I salute them with my right hand and ask: "Is the baseball game that boring?"

(One soldier responds with something about a "furlough, sir" - but I jog on and don't catch all of it. The late-night news showed so many soldiers inside Golden Park that perhaps too many were put on the Fort Benning buses.)

0.7 miles: The first motorboats pass me, heading north on the Chattahoochee. I suppose this is the coolest way to watch the Thunder on the Hooch fireworks. Well, unless you have a martini inside the River Club.

1.0 miles: The Riverwalk is getting crowded at Sixth Street, as we trod farther north. People are walking four-wide across the walkway - or as I've come to call it, a quadruped.

Years of experience have taught me not to barge through a crowd of walkers ahead of me. I merely clap my hands a few times to get their attention, so they can make room for me to get by. The people in the Atlanta airport transportation mall seemed more surprised by it, though.

A little boy gets my attention from a park bench near the wooden amphitheatre. "You can take him with you," he says pointing at another boy. "He doesn't have a job, either." That's funny - my T-shirt did NOT say NCR on it.

1.2 miles: A couple of people make remarks about having a runner pass them on the Riverwalk. But others in the crowd walking north are concerned about one of two things - wandering children or glowing cell phones. Are that many people providing live updates to WCGQ-FM?

1.35 miles: I jog under the Trade Center -- and even though there's no fence, I decide to make that the turnaround point. I'm now very close to the fireworks shooting zone, and I didn't wear a ball cap to protect my head.

1.6 miles: I'm now running south, against the flow of fireworks traffic. That actually makes the pace easier, but I have to dodge a couple of dogs on leashes. Haven't these owners heard the warnings about keeping pets inside during fireworks shows? Or do they prefer howling dogs to patriotic music?

2.05 miles: I jog for the second time under the Oglethorpe Bridge, and can't run any farther. I slow to a walk, after my best outing in several weeks. It was 90 degrees F. when I went out the door - but yes, it matters that it's a "dry heat."

I climb the stairs near Golden Park, and find more Fort Benning soldiers walking around. "Is the baseball game really that boring?" I ask again. Considering East Alabama beat Columbus 8-4, they could have been honest and said it was.

"There they go, there they go!" I tell the soldiers, pointing up Broadway. The Thunder on the Hooch fireworks are starting, around 9:20 p.m. ET -- before it's completely dark. The soldiers don't seem thrilled, and keep walking on their way. The Army drill sergeants program their brains well....

I jog, then walk north on Broadway - and find a perfect open spot to watch the fireworks show: near the southbound lane, just south of Fifth Street. Someday I'll gain enough strength to go running with a lawn chair.

After admiring the explosives for a couple of minutes, I decide to jog home and head to dinner - but then another fireworks show begins. The Woodbats game is over, and a much louder set of explosions has begun next to Golden Park. Competing shows only about six blocks apart - that's what U.S. freedom is all about.

2.4 miles/final: "It's like stereo," I tell a neighbor after returning home. Only I've probably made the wrong decision, by NOT wearing stereo headphones during the jog to listen to the NASCAR race on radio. The explosives from Golden Park are too loud, even from across the street.

Dueling fireworks shows burst to my left and right for several minutes. The Thunder on the Hooch show ends about one minute before the Golden Park show does, but Thunder on the Hooch ran longer -- a bit surprising, since that party was four hours shorter this year.

"I guess it's safe for me to drive to dinner now," I tell a neighbor. Safe from fireworks, yes - but there's a crowd of cars in my neighborhood, as I bring home dinner from Krystal. Thunder on the Hooch fans are looking for any way home they can. This is what happens when Riverfest disappears from the Historic District.

P.S. As I'm writing all this, my Internet curiosity takes me around Australian radio stations - and I stumble upon one in Sydney that's playing nothing but U.S. music to celebrate Independence Day. How strange is this? I thought President Obama said other countries don't like the U.S. anymore....

But the Sydney station is playing some "American music" I've never heard before. The list includes an Eydie Gorme tune called "Don't Try to Fight It, Baby." Not even the old "Unforgettable 1270" played that one - which I guess means it was forgotten by everyone except the Aussies.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEK: An e-mail inspires a review of my bedroom closet....

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 599 (+ 21, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

4 JUL 09: Missing In Action

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Quick quiz time! Q: What do they call the Fourth of July in Australia?

A: The Fourth of July. It's the same day everywhere.

But of course, this day means much more in the U.S. It's Independence Day -- and there are many things you can do to mark the occasion. I plan to sleep in the morning, then worship at a church service in the afternoon. And a bit after sunset, I'll be free to go jogging - as long as police barricades don't block too much of the Riverwalk.

One appropriate place to cool off on a hot Independence Day might be the new National Infantry Museum. It tells much more than the story of the Army. There's also an area noting Columbus's connection with Fort Benning - such as the man who donated a large plantation for "Camp Benning" to begin. For some reason, the land deal involving red-cockaded woodpeckers was left out.

But the displays at the National Infantry Museum are not perfect. We went there last week, and found a picture about the Columbus USO. Trouble is, the chapter president's name is shown as "Robbie Watkins" - when it's really former TV and radio personality Robbie Watson. Imagine what people will do with Dee Armstrong's name in a couple of years....

Robbie Watson attended the museum's grand opening, but she didn't know her picture was inside until we e-mailed her about it. What did she think of the misspelling? She sent this response:

Well! Now that I know that I'm going to tell all my friends and family to look for Robbie Watkins! Cool! Thank you for keeping me informed, as always. You and I both know I've been called far worse than "Watkins"!

And we both know in times past, Watson might have sent us a much more militant comment. Isn't it amazing how working with soldiers has mellowed her?

But when we toured the National Infantry Museum, we were NOT looking for factual errors. We wanted to know if it mentioned one particular thing - something I'm told you can find at many memorials and museums in Washington. One museum even has it in the floor. But no, we're not talking about an appeal for donations.

A local family which recently toured Washington told me the Ten Commandments were built into the floor of one federal building. So that location honors God - even though atheists might be tempted to walk all over it.

You might say we went searching for God at the National Infantry Museum. But He wasn't in the centerpiece "100 Yards" walk, showing a history of infantry battles. It feels at one point like you're under fire, but there's no "pillar of fire."

The local section at the back of the museum has one panel mentioning how Columbus churches support Fort Benning. But that panel doesn't really mention God - so for all we know, the support may have stopped at Wednesday night potluck suppers.

The God Bless Fort Benning celebration is mentioned at the museum - but the emphasis is on music and soldier services, not God. It made me wonder how long the invocation lasts. But last year's schedule doesn't mention an invocation at all - so here's hoping the "Mount Zion Praise Team" did more than praise the durability of Bradley Fighting Vehicles.

It was only when I walked through some of the ground-floor galleries to several periods of war did I find some evidence of God. The World War II section includes what appears to be a small pocket New Testament. You can barely read the words "The Lord" on the cover. But there's nothing specifically saying it's a Bible - and the human eyeball next to it might distract you, anyway.

A couple of galleries admittedly were closed when I took this tour. But based on what I saw, it was disappointing - because it appears the National Infantry Museum practically forgot God. The stories of miraculous weather intervention on D-Day or bombs landing perfectly on Nazi targets will have to be displayed at Beacon Seminary's library.

The National Infantry Museum admittedly tries to focus on the stories of soldiers. But plenty of soldiers have prayed before heading off to battle, and plenty of family members have prayed for their safety. So why not mention their faith in God? After all, there's a quote in the Vietnam section about trusting unit commanders not to do anything stupid - and God's a lot smarter.

Psalm 24 in the Bible talks about a Lord who is "strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle." I'd rather have that than what people suggested in I Samuel 8. They wanted a king to "go out before us, and fight our battles." As if any U.S. President in the last 100 years actually has done that....

Today's Thunder on the Hooch event gets it right with the subtitle: "A God and Country Celebration." That's the proper order, because our country should NOT be bigger than God. If we start to think we are, we're asking for trouble. Which leads me to ask - does someone pray over the food at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest?

So enjoy this Independence Day - but don't overlook the God who helped provide us with independence. And if you really want to display an "independent spirit" this weekend, dare to mention how God provided it. Some people may thank you - but sadly, others might respond by giving you a burnt hamburger.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 578 (- 97, 14.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

3 JUL 09: A Cold Summer Welcome

Aha - that explains it! We figured there was a reason why the Columbus Lions' home playoff game couldn't be played until Monday night. It turns out the Civic Center is booked throughout the weekend - and the team with "Hail Mary" passes has to wait until the firstborn Son of Mary gets proper attention.

We wrote here Monday that the Jehovah's Witnesses were not coming to the Columbus Civic Center this summer. Now we know that statement was wrong - and the annual religious convention begins today. You'd think members would have gone door-to-door, to offer free invitations....

The Jehovah's Witnesses conference has become a summer tradition in Columbus. But we were misled, because the Civic Center web site does NOT mention it anywhere. Even the July calendar of events leaves it out -- and that's about the only way most people would have discovered Fiesta Columbus had disappeared.

We called the Civic Center office Thursday, to ask why the Jehovah's Witnesses conference is NOT mentioned on its web site. After all, this is Columbus's biggest convention of the year -- so big that it's divided into two weekends, with an estimated 9,800 people coming to town. A few unruly children might even like the skateboard park nearby.

A staff member at the Civic Center admitted she didn't know why the Jehovah's Witnesses convention is missing from the web site. Perhaps it's because the conference isn't considered an "event," as a football game or concert might be. Or perhaps the thinking is if you've heard one sermon, you've heard them all.

I've attended church conventions in other cities where the event would be mentioned on the marquee outside the hall. But the Jehovah's Witnesses don't even have that courtesy outside the Columbus Civic Center. To be fair, neither did the United Methodist Church conference in June - so it's equal slapping of all denominations.

On top of that, the Columbus Convention and Visitors Bureau's web site also fails to mention the Jehovah's Witnesses. But then again, the "event calendar" for Saturday also fails to mention Thunder on the Hooch -- and that's practically outside the Visitors Bureau's doorstep. OK, who canceled the office subscription to the Ledger-Enquirer?

(Based on a sign we saw outside the downtown Visitors Center this week, you almost wonder if the staff is intentionally trying to scare religious people such as Jehovah's Witnesses away....)

The Jehovah's Witnesses are trying to spread the word that their convention is open to the public. Last week's Columbus Times had a long preview article, noting the denomination recently spent 18 months studying the Biblical book of Revelation. You'll apparently have to attend the convention to find out whether President Obama or Bill O'Reilly is the "anti-Christ."

A spokesman for the Jehovah's Witnesses also appeared on the 12:00 noon news Thursday. He explained this year's convention has a prophetic theme called "Keep On the Watch." In Columbus during summer, some moderation should be used with this - because if you wear your watch 24 hours a day, the band will gain a sweaty odor.

You might not agree doctrinally with what the Jehovah's Witnesses preach and believe. But c'mon now -- isn't their annual event a convention? Don't branches of the city want thousands of respectful people coming to Columbus and spending money? And these people wouldn't even think to gather outside the Fort Benning gate with giant puppets.

If you try to avoid the Jehovah's Witnesses by watching TV this weekend, it still might not work. I didn't realize until the other day that tennis champions Serena and Venus Williams belong to that denomination. So if you think they're hollering and groaning during Saturday's Wimbledon finals, it's really a "joyful noise of praise."

Back at the Civic Center, the evening news focused Thursday on the construction of a kitchen. It's part of the new concession agreement with Boston Culinary Group - and this is stunning to me. Do you mean the hot dogs at the concession stand simply were thrown in a microwave all these years?

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: WRBL tried to follow up on our Thursday exclusive about a Phenix City sewage spill. But city officials wouldn't call them back to comment, either. They apparently consider that broken sewer line water under the bridge - if not something worse.

Let's drink in some of Thursday's news headlines now....

+ The Columbus city web site announced next Tuesday's Council meeting has been canceled. It was supposed to be "proclamation day," but there aren't any proclamations to be read or presented. The mayor must be waiting to see if Emily Cook really will keep the Miss Georgia crown.

+ Columbus Urban League President Reginald Pugh told WXTX "News at Ten" he suspects the United Way cut off its funding for political reasons. United Way President Scott Ferguson denied it, and indicated the Urban League has strayed from its mission. It has?! I don't recall any summer youth block parties being staged in Cataula.

+ Troup County authorities announced the seizure of dozens of illegal video poker machines from convenience stores, along with $64,000. The next step in this case should be obvious - to hold a legal poker tournament, so I can get a crack at that jackpot.

+ Instant Message to the owners of east Alabama fireworks stands: You ought to do what the government safety experts in Washington do. Some firecrackers are only fun to watch when they blow up watermelons.

The number of unique visitors to our blog in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent! To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 675 (+ 21, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

2 JUL 09: Spill, Then Don't Spill

In metro Atlanta, "Big Brown" is business shorthand for United Parcel Service. In horse racing, Big Brown was a Kentucky Derby winner. When it comes to a local sewer department.... well, that phrase might be a code word for big trouble.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Your blog has learned a large sewage spill occurred in Phenix City two weeks ago -- and the city has missed a deadline to file a report about it with the state. In fact, it appears city officials never informed the public about the spill. So who knows how bricks of toilet bowl cleaner were dropped, to cover up the smell....

We are indebted for this story to the Phenix City reader who sends us "snail mail" from time to time, usually with questions about the local government. This reached us the other day, dated 26 June:

Richard,

Please observe the massive unrported sanitary sewage spill into Holland Creek where it enters Georgias' Chattahooche River at the Phenix City Amphitheater. The City of Phenix City has even posted "contaminated water" signs. I thought such spills were supposed to be reported to the media for public safety reasons. This brings another dimension to "white water rafting" in e-coli/fecal infested waters.

The entire river technically is Georgia territory. But notice how quickly east Alabamians want to give it away, when it's a mess.

We've been stacked with so many exclusive stories this week that we weren't able to get to Holland Creek until Wednesday. Indeed, a "water contaminated" sign is posted near the Phenix City Riverwalk. Of course, the larger historical sign on the other side declaring "SIX INDIANS HANGED" doesn't seem to scare people away.

Two Phenix City employees were near the contamination warning sign, seemingly eating an early lunch from the back of a city truck. They knew nothing about the report of a spill nearby. That's no big deal to me - as some people have a job to clean up the Riverwalk, while others clean up the river.

Holland Creek didn't appear that unusually polluted to us, nor did it smell that bad from the Phenix City Riverwalk. But we admittedly did NOT take anything for capturing a sample of the water. We don't want People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals accusing us of abusing cockroaches in our kitchen.

We didn't spot anyone rafting on the Chattahoochee River Wednesday, and only a couple of people fishing near the Phenix City Amphitheater. If there was danger, the answer for the anglers was easy. I've noticed several occasions where the Phenix City side of the river is brown, but the Columbus side is clear. No, I do NOT think it's some miraculous message about segregation....

Later in the day, a spokesman with the Alabama Department of Environmental Management confirmed something had gone wrong. Scott Hughes said Phenix City officials reported a "broken sewer line" 19 June. Considering how many sewage spills Columbus has had lately, Phenix City was about due for one.

Scott Hughes had no information about how "massive" the sewage spill was, or even how long it took Phenix City crews to stop it. But Hughes said the spill continued for "a little while" - which to him seemed to mean more than one day. Of course, in some churches a "little while" can refer to years or decades....

Then came the biggest surprise of all - as Scott Hughes revealed Phenix City is supposed to file a "follow-up report" on the spill with ADEM within five days of the incident. That deadline was missed, so an ADEM official plans to call Phenix City to ask about it. Officials can't blame "Streetscape" traffic jams for holding them up anymore.

So what do Phenix City officials have to say about this spill? Good question - and the answer so far is nothing. Our phone message with the city Utilities Department was never returned Wednesday. So perhaps the staff still is containing the damage - this time to their reputations.

By the way, it's still not clear if Alabama law requires Phenix City officials to report sewage spills such as this one. The Utilities Department may assume you're smart enough to notice one - and if your tap water is brown, you should NOT assume it's chocolate-flavored.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: On the first official day of the Columbus one-percent "streets and safety" sales tax, we took special care to watch out for police officers. We counted two squad cars during our morning jog, including one heading down the Riverwalk toward the Trade Center. Yeow - my running pace is nowhere close to the speed limit.

Now for other items from Canada Day 2009 (yes, I put out my flag)....

+ A new Census Bureau report estimated between July 2007 and July 2008, the population of Columbus increased by 187 people. So if Thunder on the Hooch seems crowded this weekend, do NOT assume it's because base realignment already has occurred.

+ The first group of Third Brigade soldiers left Fort Benning, for weeks of pre-deployment training in California. Thousands of soldiers will head to Iraq before long - and learn compared to the Columbus area, it's a "dry heat." Only hotter....

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the Russell County School Board rejected a proposal to give Larry Screws a director's position in the district. Considering Screws already is a Russell County Commissioner, this obviously is a case where a candidate is overqualified.

+ WRBL reported the Miss Georgia pageant will hold an open house this weekend, for people to meet newly-crowned Emily Cook. Anyone offering to trade Cook's crown for a public school teaching position will be escorted away immediately.

+ WKCN-FM morning host Bear O'Brian made his first-ever blood donation. He donated whole blood to the American Red Cross - because the alternative could have left the Piggly Wiggly "Plasma-Palooza" contest in confusion and ruins.

(Bear O'Brian explained to reporters he had never given blood before because he's afraid of needles. This doesn't make any sense to me. Did he become a radio announcer after they stopped playing country music on turntables?)

+ Several new laws took effect in Georgia and Alabama. They include Georgia's "merlot to go" law, allowing you to take home unfinished bottles of wine from restaurants. The number of chefs arrested late at night for drunk driving is about to drop dramatically.

+ The "Trust for America's Health reported 31.2 percent of Alabama's adult population is obese. That's second only to Mississippi - which could explain why a few sportswriters are picking Mississippi to win the Southeastern Conference football title this fall.

Today's main topic was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 654 (+ 20, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

1 JUL 09: One Week With an Angel

A private funeral service was held Tuesday for actress Farrah Fawcett. Some people seem disappointed that her death last week was trumped hours later by the death of Michael Jackson. Have you noticed those people seem to be middle-aged men -- the people most likely to have Fawcett posters on their walls during college?

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: We've heard several local Michael Jackson stories in recent days, but today we share the story of a Columbus man's encounter with Farrah Fawcett. It occurred years ago in Georgia, when Fawcett was at the peak of her fame - but don't worry, this story is NOT steamy enough that children need to move to a safer site like TMZ.

Stephen King is known in the Columbus area these days for staging fireworks shows. But 29 years ago this week, he was a movie star - sort of. King says he was an "extra" in part of "The Cannonball Run," a comedy about an illegal cross-country car race. Drivers do their best to reenact it on the J.R. Allen Parkway many afternoons.

"The Cannonball Run" was filmed on location in four different states -- including scenes in Atlanta and Covington, Georgia. Online reports indicate it was filmed in 36 days, but Stephen King says there was a delay in Georgia when a "cherry picker collapsed" and crushed several cars. Considering it was an action movie about a car race, you'd think they might have adjusted the script for that.

While the vehicle used for overhead camera shots was repaired, Stephen King says the movie crew declared a "rain day" in early July 1980. That day and other breaks allowed him to spend personal time with what turned out to be quite a star-studded cast....

+ Jamie Farr. His character was called "The Sheik" - and apparently his cousin The Iron Sheik defeated Bob Backlund a few years later, to become world wrestling champion.

+ Adrienne Barbeau. She's probably best remembered for playing Bea Arthur's daughter on "Maude" - and Maude probably would have been outraged at her tight-fitting outfit.

+ Sammy Davis Junior. Judging from the cast list, he may have been added to avoid protests by the Georgia NAACP.

+ Terry Bradshaw. King called him.... well, I'll stop at "pompous."

As for Farrah Fawcett, Stephen King remembers her as a nice young woman who didn't seem to drink or use drugs. King even introduced Fawcett to his father, who was in failing health. For younger readers: this is how older people were revitalized before Viagra was invented.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Stephen King says he has pictures of Fawcett with his father, but considers them too emotional and personal to share here.)

But Stephen King notes Farrah Fawcett was going through a personal trial at the time. She'd separated from Lee Majors one year earlier, and King says Majors filed divorce papers while "The Cannonball Run" was filmed. I never heard whether the couple reached a Six-Million Dollar settlement.

Stephen King was an extra on a couple of movies when he was younger. But now he's busy preparing for Independence Day fireworks across the Southeast this weekend. So he gave up the "bright lights" of Hollywood, to set off some of his own.

As for Michael Jackson: dueling tribute vigils were held in Columbus Tuesday night. WXTX "News at Ten" was live on Broadway, where a group of people sang "Billie Jean" on the sidewalk. If this is what a night of mourning has become, funerals in Columbus may never be the same.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: The one-percent "streets and safety" sales tax officially takes effect in Columbus today. Police chief Ricky Boren says 75 new police officers already have been hired. Based on what we've read here in recent days, residents probably should NOT buy them beer at a bar.

The Tuesday evening news had a surprising statistic about Columbus crime. We only had three homicides in the first half of 2009 - while in the last four years, the murder count was at least ten. Is the mention of more police officers making a difference? Or has President Obama secretly confiscated guns, while nobody noticed?

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message was titled, "Hey I don't know if you'll print this"....

To make comments on the issues of the day and here others check out www.theridefm.com and listen to David Lee on the Ride 953 Mon- Fri 6am to 10am!

In the sake of full disclosure, we must note this suggestion came FROM David Lee. And no, we have yet to print it -- because our home printer still needs to be repaired.

Now that we've given away a free plug, let's check other items from the last day of June:

+ Goodwill Industries ended its years of service as the official city recycling center. Hopefully the staff rinsed out those plastic milk jugs, before filling them with champagne for a final toast.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported a man was arrested for selling 23 tickets to Six Flags Over Georgia. Authorities say the tickets were used. What gave them away - the mustard stains?

+ The expansion Columbus Life basketball team announced an agreement to play home games at Columbus State University's Lumpkin Center. When you can't even afford to play home games at the Civic Center, this IS a minor league team.

+ Instant Message to whomever left a shoe in the middle of the intersection at Fourth Street and Veterans Parkway: Only hours after you did that Sunday, the big lightning storm came - so obviously you waited for the other shoe to drop.

Our count of unique visitors in the first half of 2009 was up 11.1 percent from 2008! To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 634 (+ 15, 2.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

30 JUN 09: Last of the Mohican

As I drove into the business parking lot Monday, something clearly was missing. Where was "Indian Joe" - the life-sized Native American statue, bound to a chair and gagged? Was this statue moved out of Columbus, so no one could accuse Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation graduates of involvement in the coup in Honduras?

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: The Indian Joe mascot is about to disappear for good from a longtime Columbus business. Victory Pawn and Trading Post on Victory Drive is going out of business, and will close 15 July. I suppose it's either that, or change the name to "Defeated Pawn."

Victory Pawn has been in business at several stops on Victory Drive more than 30 years. But store employees told your blog Monday the latest move turned out to be a fatal one. The shop shifted to the old Action Marine building near Rotary Park, after a November 2007 fire. Maybe if the Action Marine sign still wasn't posted outside....

But wait, you may be saying - aren't pawn shops supposed to be thriving during a recession? And isn't Columbus South in a renaissance? The Victory Pawn staff says it hasn't been true there. Business never rebounded from the 2007 fire - or as one woman put it, too much money was going out the window and not enough was coming in. You'll notice the Georgia Lottery never seems to have this problem.

Victory Pawn staff member Bonnie Alford gave another clue to the business's dilemma, as she talked with someone on the phone. "We're exactly 2.1 miles west of the old location," she said slowly. That old spot still has a Victory Pawn sign - and customers at the Candlewood Hotel about to open next door will be disappointed to find they can't get cash for an extra night.

Bonnie Alford blamed the lack of business on "lots of dummies who don't know east from west, and north from south." She added some customers consider the 2.1-mile move a very long distance. And you thought gas prices had been dropping over the last few days....

So if you want bargains, Victory Pawn may be the place to go for the next 15 days. "Everything must go," signs on the window declare. What sort of things?

+ Several pairs of boots - which look like soldiers gave them up after their final tour of duty at Fort Benning.

+ A shelf with small television sets. But you'll have to go to another pawn shop to find converter boxes, to make them work.

+ Possibly a couple of school buses. They're parked on the fenced-in grounds next to the building. And since neither say "Muscogee County" on them, apparently they aren't stolen.

But Bonnie Alford told me there's one item at Victory Pawn which is NOT up for sale - the statue of Indian Joe. She admits several customers have inquired about buying the bound and gagged mascot. I sincerely hope those married men consulted their wives first....

So where was Indian Joe Monday? He wasn't kept inside Victory Pawn, and Bonnie Alford assumed store owner Rick Johnson had taken it away for the weekend. Perhaps Johnson's trying to arrange for the statue to make guest appearances at Westville.

Someone stole Indian Joe from the front of Victory Pawn in July 2000, and it became a major news story. But the statue mysteriously returned to its spot three days later. To this day, we don't know what sort of Fort Benning training exercise required it.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A reader wants us to go back to that phone call Columbus Police officer J.D. Hawk made to a Georgia state trooper....

Hey Richy Rich; Did Officer Hawk get a ticket when he was speeding to his home because it was on fire, and a distance away? Seems like someone said his kids were there and he wanted to protect them!!! If this is true, one must wonder why he even got a ticket considering the emergency. Regarding the tape, Seems to me Hawk was saying the incident would be embarrassing to law enforcement and not that he was threatening the trooper [or whoever he was] with [embarrassing] personal retaliation. One must wonder if the trooper did give a ticket for speeding when a law officer's house was on fire, was that trooper was impeding the rescue of the officer's children???? Play It Again Sam!

J.D. Hawk explained in Recorder's Court in January 2008 there was a fire in the kitchen at his home, and his 13-year-old daughter was there alone [4 Jan 08]. That's why Hawk was driving 103 miles per hour on Manchester Expressway. But we never heard of serious damage to the home or harm to the daughter - so apparently Columbus fire units won the race.

We've never posted the voice mail recording to trooper J.D. Perry, because it would consume a lot of disk space and require editing out some personal information. So Monday night, we pulled out the recording and transcribed it. With a phone number left out, here's what J.D. Hawk said:

This is Captain Hawk from the police department. I'm calling in reference to that citation that's being rescheduled for the third of January, in which I am now being held in contempt of court. I think you might want to talk to me prior -- unless somebody told you not to talk to me, regarding the judge. But -- I don't have a problem with the citation, but I do have a problem with the "contempt of court," since I was instructed NOT to be in court, and the only way I'm going to defend myself is have to bring some stuff out which is probably going to embarrass you and the court, IN court, and go public.

So.... you know, I'd like to try to resolve this contempt issue in advance, but if you don't want to talk to me, I have no choice but to bring it out in public. So you can beep me at 706-xxx-xxxx, if you'd like to talk with you prior to this. And I don't want to talk about the speeding charge, but the contempt charge. Thank you. Bye-bye.

J.D. Hawk did NOT say the contempt of court defense would embarrass law enforcement - but that specific trooper, as well as Recorder's Court. If someone discovers the Recorder's Court judge that day was Mark Shelnutt....

Some more speeding tops our review of the Monday headlines:

+ WXTX "News at Ten" reported fast drivers on Celia Drive have become such a problem that one telephone pole has been knocked down three times this year. The answer to this should be obvious - consult a bowling pin factory about making a special pole.

+ "Miss Georgia 2009.2" Emily Cook accepted the keys to a new car, which she'll drive for the next year. Pageant officials breathed a big sigh of relief when Cook did NOT give back the keys, and announce her resignation.

(The Ledger-Enquirer reports Emily Cook accepted the Miss Georgia crown Sunday, while wearing a T-shirt and shorts. So? I've seen Olympic swimmers accept gold medals wearing less than that.)

+ WLTZ reported Fort Benning Staff Sergeant Michael Johnston was named the Army's Drill Sergeant of the Year. Johnston appears on a giant screen at the National Infantry Museum, telling visitors over and over that he's a soldier first. Talk about an annoying lobbying tool....

+ Auburn University officials admitted they're adding hundreds of new security cameras across campus. They won't say how many, or where they're going -- but I assume one will be hidden in the visiting team's locker room at Jordan-Hare Stadium.

+ Former Tuskegee Mayor Johnny Ford made his campaign for Alabama State Senate official, after doing everything but that in Phenix City in May. Ford says he'll run as a Democrat against Myron Penn. With his career party shifts now listed as D-R-I-D, you might say Ford has shifted back into first gear.

+ Alabama Congressman Artur Davis removed a campaign web site survey on improving the state, after the legalization of marijuana received the most votes. This may explain why Georgia's Governor still has NOT revealed that "Sonny Do" list from 2006.

+ The evening news revealed former Harlem Globetrotters player AJ Stallworth is bringing an expansion basketball team to Columbus next winter. The team in the American Basketball Association is called the Columbus Life. The Life?!?! OK, which local church provided the money for this team?

+ Instant Message to WBFA-FM "98.3 The Beat" and WFXE-FM "Foxie 105:" Aw, c'mon - two different candlelight vigils tonight? In different parts of Columbus?! At the same time?!?! I didn't realize the death of Michael Jackson was such a competitive business.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 619 (+ 12, 2.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

29 JUN 09: Power Lost, Power Gained

Instant Message to the man who encouraged me to "see a fireworks show" for Independence Day: Done. I accomplished that Sunday evening, when lightning flashed all around my home....

Parts of the Historic District were without power for nearly three hours, due to an intense thunderstorm. I'm not sure if a severe thunderstorm warning ever was issued for Muscogee County, as it was in Russell County. But if your electricity goes out and you're a blogger without a working laptop, it's really severe to you.

The power outage affected parts of Fourth Street from Broadway to Veterans Parkway. It shut down the Circle K near the Civic Center, which is one of the leading stops in Georgia for selling lottery tickets. If a lack of electricity stops a lottery, you wonder how the colonies were able to keep them going about 200 years ago.

The boundary line for the power outage was Fourth Street, as the Columbus Civic Center's bright marquee kept running as usual. It's promoting a "Ladies Night Out" in August, with three groups I've never heard of before. At least the men are fully clothed in the photos....

(Columbus Police had to direct traffic at the corner of "Fourth and Fourth," because the stop light in front of the Civic Center was out. Even the officers have to practice for next week's playoff game.)

The power outage occurred at about 6:25 p.m. ET, as I was eating dinner. My dinner was heated in a natural gas oven -- making me wonder why the "gas light" idea never has been brought inside. It's not like kerosene lantern makers have the power to complain anymore....

The outage was accompanied (and probably caused) by fierce lightning in the Historic District and downtown area. It came one day after I heard some men at church wonder why humans can't harness the power of lightning as an energy source. My own theory on this is that scientists saw Ben Franklin try it, and decided it wasn't worth sacrificing their lives.

As lightning flashed and thunder roared with the power out, there wasn't much I could do. I didn't pick up the phone to report the outage, because I might be electrocuted. I didn't take a shower, because I might be electrocuted. So I read the Bible for a while - presuming God wouldn't zap me for that.

Eventually the thunder dissipated, and I called Georgia Power customer service. If you didn't know, everything is automated - even the computer voice providing information about your problem. It only figures that the electric company would find a way to use plug-in robots.

The Georgia Power voice told me crews were already working on the problem, and hoped to have it resolved by 8:45 p.m. I told that information to nearby neighbors - including the ones with no phone service, who might not even notice an electric outage unless there was a big game on TV.

Darkness approached, and I decided to lie in bed and wait for the power to come back on. I can do this without a working alarm clock - because my answering machine always repeats my recorded message when it comes on. It's only slightly less jarring than a clock's buzzer.

The repair crew missed its target time, but the power came back on at 9:15 p.m. One of my neighbors was concerned about her food spoiling in the refrigerator - but since I kept my door shut 99 percent of the time, everything seems to be fine. And it's Georgia Power's loss that I only ran my air conditioner for 90 minutes on a 95-degree day.

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of lost power, Sunday brought stunning news from the Miss Georgia pageant. Kristina Higgins gave up the crown she won less than 24 hours before. I thought the show "Queen for a Day" went off TV 40 years ago....

Kristina Higgins explained she could not meet all the obligations of Miss Georgia, because she works as a middle school special education teacher. Talk about a lack of respect for teachers! If Higgins was a principal in Auburn, she could have taken a six-week leave of absence to appear on "Survivor."

Sad to say, in 2009 we had to be a bit skeptical of Kristina Higgins's explanation. So we checked the usual online hideaways for scandalous pictures. But a Myspace Music page says Higgins sings Christian music, and has released her own album. Hmmmm - did she say the wrong thing last week about traditional marriage?

Kristina Higgins also has a Twitter account, which doesn't even mention the Miss Georgia pageant. But it has this curious April message: "On my way to enlighten young children's minds. Haha...." That "haha" is a bit like a car horn on the highway. Are you happy to see me, or mocking my slow driving?

Here's the more curious thing: this was Kristina Higgins's third attempt at the Miss Georgia title. She was second runner-up two years ago. If that led to her middle school teaching job, becoming Miss Georgia might lead to an even better and more flexible job. You know, like the Atlanta Falcons dance team....

Kristina Higgins's decision means first runner-up Emily Cook becomes Miss Georgia. It also means Cobb County's candidates swept the awards this year -- Miss Georgia and "Outstanding Teen." So all the people who make fun of Marietta's "Big Chicken" should shut up until next June.

Emily Cook told the Sunday evening news she'll delay a year of law school at the University of Georgia to serve as Miss Georgia. She can afford to do this, where Kristina Higgins cannot - because Cook's crown and law degree should combine to make her an expert legal analyst on Fox News Channel.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Visit "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to an unusual sign of the times....

What is with that peeping tom sign on Junaluska Dr.? I have not seen anything about it in the news.

That warning sign actually was on TV news a week or two ago, after being mentioned at Richard Hyatt's web site. People in the Mohina Woods subdivision are concerned about a convicted voyeur, who's back on the streets after serving his sentence. So what he have here is a neighborhood "watcher watch."

Meanwhile, the conversation continues between a couple of readers about a former police officer's list of "bad cops:"

We don't need to call Sherlock Holmes on this one- Boren is neither accused, nor guilty of a crime, but is the object of a vendetta- establishing the modus operandi of the complainant He attempts to embarrass the Chief of Police, ad nauseum. Ad litem.

Solution: A new Modus Vivendi for the Complainant.

Suggestions: 1. Get a sex change. Real men do not whine and complain to the media over hurt feelings.

2. Role Play as the Police Chief solving all internal and external cases of police corruption.

3. Move to a place where you like the Police Chief.

4. Reenact these troubling situations at a local drama club.

5. Learn to pout silently.

Oh dear - so much Latin here. No, this e-mail did NOT come from the Josh McKoon State Senate campaign.

As for the list of suggestions - what do you mean, real men don't "complain to the media" when their feelings are hurt? How quickly we forget such interviews, in an election off-year.

And as for suggestion #4 -- isn't there now a "Sherlock's Mystery Dinner Theatre" for cases like these? If it can do a show called "Spy Games," it can create a play about drunk police officers at a restaurant. The audience would love to join in playing "Spin the Taser."

We'll get to a couple of other e-mails another day - but now let's check other items from a busy Sunday:

+ Lee County Sheriff's officers accused four young Phenix City men of stealing items from more than 100 cars. I may never try to sell music out of my trunk at the Lee County Flea Market again....

+ The Christ Community Church broadcast on WBOJ-FM included a testimony from the owner of the Columbus Marco's Pizza restaurants. Scott Dickey admitted when he travels on business to Las Vegas, "I can't get out of there fast enough." That's strange - since all the Miss Georgia contestants want to go there, to compete for Miss America.

+ The Macon Coliseum hosted a Jehovah's Witnesses convention especially for Spanish-speaking members. I'm not sure why the Witnesses didn't return to the Columbus Civic Center this year -- unless they were concerned Mark Shelnutt might welcome them to town, too.

COMING SOON: Is something missing at the new museum? We took a tour to find out....

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 607 (- 40, 6.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.