The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Thursday, January 24, 2008

24 JAN 08: PHILLIPS OUT OF GAS?

If you didn't go to the library Wednesday to check newspapers, don't worry. The e-mailer who loved a recent comment in the Ledger-Enquirer will save you a trip:

The Oscar for best Sound Off goes to... To finish off the MCSD zillion dollar administration building a sculpture out front of...A 50ft Phillips Screw.... Is this to honor John Phillips or Phillip Schley?????...Maybe a 2 headed Phillips Screw...

Well, I suppose it beats a giant bottle of Phillips Milk of Magnesia....

This e-mail reached us several hours before the bombshell school news of the day - that Muscogee County School Superintendent John Phillips will retire by August 1. Perhaps a school board member told him that was the only way to get the new central administration building named in his honor.

It actually was a two-part bombshell, as Deputy Superintendent Robin Pennock revealed she will retire later this year as well. So the Muscogee County School Board will have two openings to fill -- assuming the critics don't persuade members to use the deputy's salary to buy a couple of new portables.

In a resignation letter released Wednesday, Superintendent John Phillips calls his years in Muscogee County "the capstone of my career." Aha! Columbus residents thought there was something unusual about him - and now he's made that reference to the University of Alabama.

Dr. John Phillips expressed a desire to keep contributing to public education - but said he needs to "rebalance my commitments" to spend more time with his family. That's not the rebalancing I was hearing complaints about. It was more along the lines of less to build a personal bathroom, and more to fix a boiler room.

An overlooked section of the resignation letter is worth noting. Dr. John Phillips admits he has "other opportunities, both in the public and in the private sectors...." So which upset school board member recommended him to become President of Columbus State University?

Well, hold on - WRBL reported Wednesday night that John Phillips and Robin Pennock plan to work together as educational consultants. They could stay in the Muscogee County school system and do that. That's what a graduation coach or a counselor does....

In her resignation letter, Deputy Superintendent Robin Pennock notes she's worked in education more than 37 years. She writes about seeking "new things, from scuba diving to teaching...." But if her first job was teaching U.S. history, what's really new about that? It sounds like Pennock dreams of becoming a substitute teacher in Key West.

The twin resignations were offered to the Muscogee County School Board privately, after Tuesday night's board meeting. Superintendent John Phillips may have wanted to avoid his announcement receiving a standing ovation from the Columbus NAACP.

School Board Chairman James Walker praised Dr. John Phillips for being responsive to board members. When someone told Phillips he couldn't have that communications director with a $300,000 Russell County home, he withdrew the position - well, for a couple of years.

Even school board critic Cathy Williams had nice things to say Wednesday. She said John Phillips and Robin Pennock "brought passion" to local education, and "moved the district forward." He didn't move it south toward Spencer High School, but it moved forward....

But others were in no mood to be compassionate. "Good Riddance, Dr. Phillips" read the title of an e-mail sent around the city by Columbus Council candidate Jeremy Hobbs. He claimed the Superintendent "ruined all trust the city has in this school board." So why isn't Hobbs running for the board, as some suggested last year he do? Most voters probably know the the Council doesn't run the school district.

School board member Philip Schley told WRBL he was "disturbed" by the Superintendent's resignation - and he claimed it was because two other board members "badgered and harassed him for months on end." So? That sort of treatment didn't stop President Bush from running for a second term.

Philip Schley might want to get used to public badgering - because he's already getting some, such as the e-mail above. I'm hearing there might even be a recall campaign against him. After all, if he's not in Schley County where he belongs....

After thinking it over, I can understand why the Muscogee County Superintendent and Deputy Superintendent would leave together. A new Superintendent will want his or her own top assistants. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue probably wanted that - and yet Mark Taylor wound up running against him in 2006.

But let's face it -- the timing of these two resignations does seem a bit suspicious. It follows a lot of debate about the cost of a new administration building. The way it looks now, the plaque in the foyer is more likely to have the name of Seth Harp than John Phillips.

So who should replace Superintendent John Phillips in Muscogee County? The school board doesn't have to look far for some worthy candidates....

+ Guy Sims is still in town, spending his days helping low-income people. A $12 million cut in the cost of an administration building would buy a lot of meals.

+ Thomas Hackett used to be Phenix City's Superintendent. He's currently on the Columbus State University faculty - and he's had plenty of time to memorize the names of all the Muscogee County high schools.

+ Frank Brown is retiring from Columbus State University at the end of June. He could trade jobs with John Phillips - and it could become a reality show called "Supt-Swap."

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of Frank Brown, a golden opportunity awaits all of us today....

Don't miss free cake at CSU tomorrow [Thursday] at 12:30 at the clock tower, free refreshments at the groundbreaking of the Schuster Student Success Center and free cupcakes at 5:00 at the Center for Commerce and Technology.

Woo-hoo - free food! All I have to do is stop at Publix for some samples first, and I'll have a complete lunch.

These events at Columbus State University are part of the kickoff of C.S.U.'s 50^th anniversary celebration. Local churches have been asked to join the party, by ringing their bells during the afternoon. You'll understand if some hardline Baptist churches don't participate - the ones who think public colleges teach evolution everywhere, even in French class.

BLOG UPDATE: WLTZ reported Wednesday night that someone stole a giant banner from the Barack Obama campaign headquarters on Third Avenue. Was this some kind of hijinks by the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign? Or did a homeless person downtown need something to stay warm and dry?

Meanwhile, Barack Obama is apparently the first presidential candidate to run a TV commercial in Columbus. The ad presented Wednesday night shows Obama talking about universal health care, and bringing soldiers home from Iraq. But amazingly, he never once calls Bill Clinton an annoying liar.

(It's comforting to hear Barack Obama hear at the start of the commercial that he approves of the message. Considering he's the only person who speaks in it, anything less would cost him votes.)

Now for other Wednesday discoveries....

+ The metal under the 13^th Street bridge was painted on the Phenix City side. I know this because the Phenix City Riverwalk had a crude blockade set up at the bridge -- with what looked like plastic hoses on either side. I decided to limbo instead of high-hurdle, and kept on jogging.

+ Automated Door Ways opened a new office in the Bibb City neighborhood. It's located in what used to be an A&P supermarket - which reminds me of what my Mom used to say about that chain, when she worked there in the 1940's. She claimed the initials really stood for "Aches and Pains."

(A Bibb City store owner who calls herself the "Junk Lady" told WRBL the neighborhood needs a Starbucks. She apparently hasn't noticed a new drive-through coffee shop called "Back to the Grind" in the 4400 block of Second Avenue - but then again, it's so small that it looks like it was assembled by Action Buildings.)

+ A Georgia legislative hearing considered the new technology of "brain fingerprinting" for finding criminals. The director of the Georgia Bureau of Investigation admitted he has doubts about its effectiveness. For one thing, no evolution supporter has shown evidence that fingers grow from brains.

+ The Atlanta Falcons hired Mike Smith as their new head coach. Smith moves from Jacksonville -- so Byron Leftwich might be the starting quarterback next season after all.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Lions: Did I hear the TV news right -- that it costs local athletes 55 dollars to try out for the team? If they make the team, do they get a rebate after the first game? And do you beat the federal government, by including interest?

This blog had more than 43,000 visitors in 2007 -- up 53% from 2006! To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1393 (+ 42, 3.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

23 JAN 08: FIGHT NIGHT

Columbus Council? Simply too dull. Russell County Commission? Too many members ailing. No, the place to turn for an exciting governmental meeting these days is the Muscogee County School Board. Anyone might show up to complain -- including the board members.

Take Tuesday night's school board meeting. There was Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison, talking about the African-American employees who are suing the school district over retirement plans. Based on the late TV newscasts, he did NOT thank the board for making schools so nice for any incoming students from Jena, Louisiana.

Some school board members told Bill Madison it's up to the Georgia Legislature to change the rules for school retirement plans. So any lawsuit against Muscogee County Schools might bring a dramatic moment in the courtroom -- with district attorneys pointing toward Atlanta, as the real culprit.

But these days, the big issue for the Muscogee County School Board is something members approved several months ago. The planned new central administration building came up again Tuesday night -- even though a special meeting on that topic has been called for Thursday night. So it was a little like pro wrestling, teasing the next main event....

School board member Joseph Roberson suggested further action on a central administration building be stopped for now. He noted a growing local buzz for denying Muscogee County schools a special sales tax, if the $25 million building is built. How about a compromise - a smaller building, but with portables set up around it?

(Columbus Council candidate Jeremy Hobbs is trying to spark an online campaign in favor of a city sales tax, and against a school sales tax. He calls it "Give a Penny, Take a Penny" - which is easy to say, when you would wind up with some control over the pennies.)

Muscogee County school officials tried to assure the audience that their priorities are really in order. They said no students are lacking textbooks, while work proceeds on the administration building. Of course not - because that was last year's crisis, which this year it's the heating system....

A student at the Academic Success Center for high-risk youth told me Tuesday the building has lacked working heat since December. He said teachers have set up space heaters in classrooms. In other words, conditions are perfect for teaching early U.S. history.

The student also claimed the Academic Success Center's computers started malfunctioning, after the space heaters were set up. I faced something like this when I was in high school. Our science class turned on all the hot plates for an experiment, and several classrooms lost power. [True!]

An official with the Academic Success Center confirmed part of this story to WRBL - but said a boiler actually went out last week, not last month. Time flies, when you're not in a Youth Detention Center....

But back to the board: Muscogee County school officials say education is NOT being overlooked, as work proceeds on the central administration building. Oh really?! When are environment clubs making field trips to the ruins of the Sears store, to look for recyclables?

The Muscogee County School Board will meet Thursday night on the "Educational Services Center" - and whether to issue bonds for the $12 million or so needed to match the building's design. Some of us wonder if the money might be raised faster, through buying stocks which hit new lows Tuesday.

And what's this I'm hearing about the school district possibly being reported to the Georgia Attorney General? One woman is filing "Open Records Requests" for all sorts of details about the administration building project, and not receiving immediate answers. But then, we all know how responsive Thurbert Baker has been to Kenneth Walker's supporters....

E-MAIL UPDATE: We're going to have to start reading the Ledger-Enquirer's editorial pages, because people keep writing us about them....

ok......I have finally seen the best reply, comment, whatever you want to call it ....the remark in Sound off in todays paper regarding an artwork being a Phillips Screw.......That one should win every award possible!!!

This remark apparently was in Monday's newspaper, and it was NOT posted Monday night. I checked the Ledger-Enquirer's web site Tuesday, and met a new obstacle. You're now required to register with a "new system." Those wealth-building systems in TV infomercials usually don't work - so why should this?

The registration page includes a question asking how much money I make a year. It makes you wonder if my answer will determine whether my home page shows a list of stock prices or revival meetings.

But anyway: I registered with the Ledger-Enquirer web site - and the "Sound Off" section had comments from Sunday and Tuesday, but NOT Monday. So you'll have to go to a library and find an old-fashioned newspaper to understand this message about a "Phillips Screw." Maybe someone actually a positive comment -- you know, a + sign on top.

And the presidential primary campaigning in Columbus now is officially underway - as this e-mail/ad reached us:

The Columbus Obama campaign opened a headquarters at 905-3rd Avenue on Saturday. Scores of supporters braved the cold and rain to celebrate and to hear Congressman Sanford Bishop make a rousing speech. Canvassing and phone calls are underway, and more volunteers are welcome. Folks can buy bumper stickers, yard signs and buttons at the headquarters and get all sorts of Obama information. Thanks.

Bebe Bahnsen

We mentioned the opening of this office last Thursday, two days before the official big event. But about this "canvassing" - will putting up tents around Columbus really bring more votes?

Speaking of the 2008 election, your blog has discovered former WXTX news anchor Roszell Gadson is entering politics -- sort of. He's the press secretary for Alabama Congressional candidate Craig Schmidtke. Huh -- not a presidential candidate?! After all, that primary is four months earlier.

There's a hint of politics in other news items from Tuesday:

+ Assistant City Manager David Arrington gave Columbus Council an update on how money from the 1999 sales tax vote is being spent. Spending in several areas is well under the budget - yet the city is lacking seven million dollars for a planned natatorium. Maybe if local swimmers started selling special bikinis, encouraging you to "cover the gap...."

(David Arrington added the groundbreaking for a new skate park near Golden Park could occur any day. I have no problem with this, as long as the construction workers wear helmets and elbow pads at all times.)

+ A high-ranking member of Zimbabwe's parliament spoke to the Columbus Kiwanis Club. David Coltart said his country faces a humanitarian crisis in several areas -- but I never heard him blame it on President-turned-dictator Robert Mugabe. Of course, he might be in Columbus on a quiet shopping trip for a home in exile.

+ Veteran TV anchor Hugh Downs appeared at a St. Francis Hospital banquet. When Downs hosted "20/20," he seemed embarrassed about his years as host of the game show "Concentration." Yet nowadays Downs appears in infomercials - so perhaps he's had to forfeit too many gifts.

+ Tommy Lee Jones was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for "In the Valley of Elah" - the fictional movie based on the murder of Fort Benning soldier Richard Davis. If he actually wins the award next month, Carmike Cinemas might actually be forced to show that movie in a local theater.

+ The director of Georgia's Pardon and Parole Board admitted to Columbus State Rep. Carolyn Hugley that 16 percent of all parolees are unemployed. You'd think some of them could have been put to work finding legal places for convicted sex offenders to live....

+ GPB's "Lawmakers" reported Georgia state purchasing cards have been used to buy all sorts of curious things - including services at the "Psycho Clown Tattoo Parlor" in Texas. There must be a less expensive way to draw new district maps than this....

+ The New York Fire Department was barred from the St. Patrick's Day parade in Savannah. Organizers said the firefighters have hurt the parade's reputation, by throwing beads at spectators. We certainly don't want anything to distract visitors from the real purpose - getting drunk along the riverfront.

+ Instant Message to the Fraternal Order of Police: Whom will you support for President now? With Fred Thompson pulling out Tuesday, the real "Law and Order" candidate is gone....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1351 (+ 43, 3.3%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

22 JAN 08: THE VISION THING

A series of public meetings begins in Columbus tonight, to engage in what the city calls "visioning." Is this going to be like that IBM commercial - where people lie down on the floor to do some "idea-ting?"

Six hearings will be held over 21 days, to help update the city of Columbus's "Comprehensive Plan." Officials want to prepare a blueprint through 2028 -- enough time for yet another Clinton to campaign for President in Georgia. Chelsea, I mean....

The city has set up an online survey, for people to offer input on Columbus's future. But you can't find it from the city web site, and I found it only through a link WRBL mentioned the other day. The survey takes an estimated 10 to 15 minutes to fill out -- once you take that long finding it on the Internet.

The introduction to the online survey says Columbus's population is expected to jump 18 percent in the next 20 years, to about 225,000 people. But the rate of population growth in the city has been slowing since 1970 - so how many more rounds of base realignment are we expecting?

The online survey has a mix of open-ended questions and ratings. The first question asks you to write what you like most about Columbus. Feel free to mention this blog there - it'll make us feel good.

The survey also asks for three things you'd like to change about Columbus. No, I don't think they're looking for names of city officials....

The ratings section of the survey lists a variety of community topics, and asks if you consider them high or low priorities. Do you care more about controlling crime, improving schools or economic development? But the survey doesn't seem to let you list which one should be accomplished first.

A couple of items in the ratings section might raise your eyebrows. One asks where you rank an expanded bridge over the Chattahoochee River. Would this mean a wider J.R. Allen Parkway, all the way to Phenix City? Or would there finally be a place to park on the Dillingham Bridge?

Another asks if you care about continuing local festivals "such as Riverfest." Considering this went out of business last year, I think I know how that one will wind up....

Some people who have seen this visioning survey are suspicious of it. Local activist Deb Owens has e-mailed city officials, asking 12 specific questions - including: "Has survey been reviewed by appropriate peers for efficacy, and bias?" It's almost like Columbus is trying to make prescription drugs.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION is by request, and based on these suspicions. Take our quite simple one-part survey, about whether the city's visioning survey is biased in favor of development. If we have to take the results of this survey to a local accounting agency for authentication.... oh please, that'll cost us money....

By the way, a check of the city's web site Monday night found a different visioning process for Columbus, but from the past. Remember "Vision 2005," which was developed in 1998? Some of the items in the executive summary still haven't quite been met:

+ "New carriers, routes and services" at the airport. The staff is still waiting for a simple Starbucks.

+ Developing bicycle, bus and trolley systems. That "train station" Burger King near Peachtree Mall looks more lonesome every day.

+ Creating "pocket parks in Uptown Columbus." Is that what we're going to call those roped-off outdoor dining areas on Broadway?

BLOG UPDATE: Jacksonville clobbered Columbus 4-0 in hockey Monday night. And sure enough - the Martin Luther King Day hockey game included three fights in the second period. If the Cottonmouths play this holiday game next year, all the players should be required to attend a memorial service first.

Meanwhile, the Cottonmouths released Ki Hoon Han Monday. The history-making player from South Korea was let go, after a five-game tryout. Hopefully he won't take his helmet and skates to any Kia career fairs.

Let's see what other biscuits landed in our basket on M.L.K. Day....

+ A holiday program for young people at St. James A.M.E. Church featured former "Saturday Night Live" comic Finesse Mitchell. If he's in Columbus for King Day, he may still be a "Not Ready for Prime Time Player."

(I'm not sure how the church arranged for this celebrity to make a guest appearance in Columbus. The board may have recalled an old commercial - that sometimes you need a little Finesse, but sometimes you need a lot.)

+ WLTZ showed a weekend organizational meeting by the group Common Cause. How surprising to see Dick McMichael and Al Fleming sitting side-by-side at the meeting -- and even more surprising to see neither of them writing notes on reporter's pads.

+ Sumter County commissioner Al Hurley had his downtown Americus clothing store seized by the state, because he's delinquent in paying taxes. Hurley told the Americus Times-Recorder he likes to let customers buy clothes on credit - so if he goes to them "hat in hand" now, they might wind up wearing it.

+ National Public Radio reported on efforts to restore the forgotten town of Flat Rock, Georgia. The town east of Atlanta hasn't been on an official state map in almost 150 years. They'd better not try to develop a Flat Rock Park, or the city of Columbus might sue.

+ Instant Message to Joche's Tax Service: What do you mean, you have "more than eight locations" in our area? Does the ninth one double as a barbecue pit or something?

(And another thing - if you're saying "more than eight locations" in your commercials, are you putting numbers like that on people's tax returns?)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1308 (+ 46, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, January 21, 2008

21 JAN 08: CHECK-KING

Sunday was cold, with a high of 37 degrees F. - but at least it was sunny. It would have been a nice enough day for the Martin Luther King Unity Parade downtown. But the organizers chose to cancel it, not postpone it - even though in this case, a parade delayed would NOT have been a parade denied.

Happy Martin Luther King Day to you - and as the late Jack Buck used to say on Memorial Day, here's hoping you take some time to think about the meaning of this day. But if you feel inspired to become a volunteer at Martin Luther King, Jr. Elementary School, please wait until Tuesday. Students get a day off, not a day on.

This King Day holiday marks a first for the Columbus Cottonmouths. They're playing a home game - their first-ever Monday night game at the Civic Center. You almost wonder why this never happened before. Minor league hockey is almost as rough and rugged as Monday night football on TV.

The Cottonmouths are marking King Day by donating one dollar from each ticket sold to the Columbus Black History Museum. That museum now has a marked location downtown. But it needs more publicity, more special events and attractions - maybe like a list of every word Al Sharpton says we should not use.

Perhaps you're wondering why the Cottonmouths would mark Martin Luther King Day. This month marks 50 years since the first "black player" appeared in the National Hockey League. Now there are non-Caucasian stars such as Jerome Iginla in Calgary, and a non-Caucasian member of the Hockey Hall of Fame. But then, Grant Fuhr was a goaltender - so a mask kept him hidden most of the time.

It's nice to see the Cottonmouths making this donation to an African-American project - but this holiday hockey game doesn't seem quite right to me. It's because Martin Luther King Jr. preached a nonviolent approach to change. About the only times the Cottonmouths practice this are in elimination games -- and when they deliver teddy bears to hospitalized children.

The Columbus Cottonmouths have had winning seasons and two league championships. But they also have a reputation for playing hockey games with plenty of brawls. Coach Jerome Bechard became famous for them - but at least he doesn't throw water bottles and turn over tables, like Bruce Garber once did.

It's the Columbus Cottonmouths who keep signing fire/EMS department employee Tom Wilson to short-term contracts - the defenseman who wound up in two fights in his first appearance of the season. Imagine if someone asked Wilson probing questions about the Zachary Allen case....

It's the Columbus Cottonmouths who use Mike Vee as a play-by-play announcer - the man who's openly said occasional fighting is good for team morale, and even good for the sport of hockey. He'd be more likely to race toward a fire hose in Selma, grab it away from the sheriff and spray him back.

So if you really want to celebrate King Day, is a Columbus hockey game really the most appropriate way to do it? I'll be, uh, checking tonight to see if the Cottonmouths decide to be nonviolent for the holiday. But remember, hockey is one of those sports where fans root for their players to draw blood - because that turns a two-minute power play into five minutes.

BLOG UPDATE: A cold steady wind dried off almost all the roads in Columbus, for Sunday drivers. The courtyard of my apartment complex had a leftover icy puddle from Saturday's rain. But my usually hardy neighbors didn't step outside for any Sunday cookouts - or tap into that ice for their cans of beer.

On another matter - remember the broadcasting problems WFRC-FM 90.5 had for a few days [11 Jan]? An insider at Family Radio's headquarters in California reports the entire network crashed for several days. So Christian stations from coast to coast were affected - fulfilling the Bible verse which says when one hurts, everyone hurts.

Now other things which were as quick as our steps outside, on a cold Sunday:

+ Which east Alabama man is hosting weekend poker games with buy-ins of more than $100 - and the players include a couple of sheriff's officers? Is this why Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell asked for that big raise in staff pay last year?

+ Columbus Police released surveillance tape of a robbery at a Wing Zone restaurant last October. Officers are looking for an "eyewitness" who appeared remarkably calm, when someone walked up to the counter next to him pointing a gun. Either that eyewitness is part of the crime, or he's used to getting pushed around by impatient customers.

+ Heather Jensen anchored her final newscast on WRBL. I'm hearing she's leaving the station, but does NOT have another TV news job right now. Kia could pair Jensen with Roszell Gadson, and provide the best daily newscast for plant workers in the country.

+ WYBU TV-16's "Public Agenda" included an interview with Tim Justice, who is Columbus Technical College's "Dean of Applied Business." He explained this does NOT refer to "pie-in-the-sky business" - which I guess is handled by the Chamber of Commerce....

+ WRBL reported the Columbus State University "small squad" won the Universal Cheerleading national championship in Orlando. So will the award fit inside a small trophy case?

+ Instant Message to the staff of CBS's "60 Minutes:" Did you feel a little embarrassed Sunday night? I mean, showing a special edition on "The Age of Warming - while down the dial, Fox was showing a football game in below-zero weather....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1262 (- 128, 9.2%, record low)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

20 JAN 08: WHITE OR WET?

The pastor thanked the church congregation I attend this weekend, for being "bold and courageous." We were?! All I did was drive to church in a cold rain. In Seattle, this would be considered routine.

We were declared bold and courageous by the pastor at the start of the worship service, because he said Saturday's weather forecast called for snow -- "two to four inches."

"North of LaGrange," piped up the congregation's curmudgeon to my left. That's the forecast I'd heard as well - but I've learned better than to doubt what might be uttered under the Holy Spirit's inspiration.

The pastor decided to go ahead with a potluck lunch after the church service. As I waited for everyone to get ready, I stared out a window of the fellowship hall at the cold rain pouring down. A young man asked what I was looking at. After a summer of drought, I suppose I was soaking in the moment as much as the ground was.

At least one woman was disappointed with the city of Columbus's response to the past week's rains. She told me the city should put out receptacles of some kind to collect the water. But this could lead to conflict among city workers - with some of them demanding an equal number of fire barrels for staying warm.

Organizers of a Saturday parade in Columbus were scared off by the weather forecast. The Martin Luther King Unity Parade was canceled -- and if the "We Shall Overcome" crowd can't overcome a rainstorm, local civil rights groups may have some work to do.

Muscogee County Schools called off its athletics schedule Saturday as well. But apparently the motocross event went on as scheduled at the Columbus Civic Center. All the pit crews had to do was add tires with studs....

Our blog camera was ready, to take pictures of Columbus's first snowfall of the winter - but in my neighborhood, the precipitation was only cold rain. And it stopped around 4:00 p.m., so the only way I might have seen "Flakes after dark" would be by visiting the pastor of Fourth Street Baptist Church.

Many shoppers packed grocery stores, stocking up in case the weather worsened. It reminded me of a line Atlanta radio reporter Richard Sangster said years ago, when he noticed winter shoppers there stocking up on bread and milk. "What are they going to eat, milk sandwiches?"

Even though Columbus and points south had no snow, several drivers skidded off the road. I saw one car in the grassy median of J.R. Allen Parkway - and not far west of the car, I saw evidence of where it went off the road. Putting one side of your car on grass and dirt for traction simply does NOT work when it's raining.

Evening newscasts repeated the advice of law enforcement officials, to stay off potentially icy roads. When I worked in radio news years ago, this simply would NOT have been tolerated. Open businesses would have complained to the station manager, and I would have been instructed to urge listeners to get out and shop - especially if we're at the brink of a recession.

North and west of Columbus, snow fell and stuck. The evening news showed a light coat of snow on the grass at Tigertown in Opelika, where the parking lot was half-full. Huh -- no Columbus tourists with coolers, looking for collectibles?

Sporadic snowball fights broke out in some parking lots. WRBL showed one at King Chevrolet in Valley. How sad -- such violent actions on Martin Luther King Day weekend....

Some families actually drove north from Columbus and Eufaula, looking for snow. One family found enough along Interstate 185 in Harris County to pull over and build a snowman. What do you know - they added some art to an already scenic byway.

WRBL showed a possible inch of snow on the ground at Callaway Gardens. Before you get ideas - no, Fantasy of Lights did NOT have a surprise extra weekend.

Montgomery had about two inches of snow Saturday - and one 11-year-old girl was unimpressed. Khryshanna Taylor declared to a reporter: "If it snows again, I'm going to move out of the state!" If the predictions about global warming are true, she might not have to worry about that....

BLOG UPDATE: After a one-week delay, "America's Most Wanted" mentioned the hunt for accused Columbus murderer Michael Registe Saturday night. It was part of a segment called "15 seconds of shame," and Columbus was never mentioned in those 15 seconds. Our homicides must not be weird or sexy enough for John Walsh.

(At least Michael Registe was mentioned in the first half-hour of the program. That allowed me to focus on the main event of the evening. No, not the weather -- Kansas beat Missouri in men's college basketball 76-70.)

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's start a new library fight, why don't we?

I must dispute the opinion of the illiterate who gave a negative view of the Phenix City Library in "Sound Off" I have been to the Phenix City Library and found it to be a place of welcome and warmth..I appreciate the work ehtic of the librarians as they are so dedicated to encouraging people to enjoy the world of books...Once a month the library presents a speaker of interest and the public is invited...The only person who would not appreciate the library is someone who can't read and has a phobia of the social world...

There may be a hidden reason why the Phenix City librarians have a strong work ethic. They remember the librarian who stole fine money a few years ago, and wound up going to prison for it [12 May 05].

My main disappointment with the Phenix City Library is that it's not connected to the Columbus system. You can't use your Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System card there for anything -- not even the public access computers. It's as if any mystery which crosses the state line will prompt an F.B.I. investigation.

I can think of a few other reasons why some people would NOT appreciate libraries. In fact, some residents of Columbus who could give you 49 million reasons - all of them currently sitting on Macon Road.

We're stockpiling other e-mails for another day, since it's SO cold and icy outside. Now let's review other weekend items of interest:

+ Our "Burkard Bulk Mail Index" dropped below the 1,400 mark, for the first time on record. When the number of spam e-mails is this low, we MUST be heading for a recession....

+ A Phenix City McDonald's restaurant held a surprise birthday party for employee Willie Green, to mark her 80^th birthday. Do you think she's survived to that age by eating off the menu every day?

+ The Hillary Rodham Clinton presidential campaign opened a Columbus office at Ninth and Veterans Parkway. At least, I'm assuming that's her office. But then again, maybe all those campaign signs surround an old doctor's office because it's a publicity stunt for national health care.

+ Democratic opponent John Edwards made a campaign trip to Atlanta - and was that Mark Taylor I saw standing behind Edwards at a rally?! Yup, his campaign IS in big trouble....

+ John McCain won the Republican Presidential primary in South Carolina. I mention this because WBT-AM in Charlotte had "TalkLine" legend Doug Kellett on the air, asking who's "the real conservative in this race." If people on the "right coast" couldn't figure that out, perhaps nobody can.

+ Columbus State University's basketball teams were swept in a doubleheader at home by South Carolina-Aiken. Now their post-season chances seem to be Aiken as well, because.... wait, I didn't spell that right....

+ Instant Message to the people spreading rumors about a Kroger store coming to Columbus: The managers overseeing Columbus Park Crossing tell me they're planning for a future supermarket. But there's NO deal yet with Kroger, or anybody else. So you may wind up settling for a large-sized Circle K.

COMING THIS WEEK: Is it a vision for the city, or myopia?....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1390 (+ 37, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, January 18, 2008

for 19 JAN 08: THE FISCHER KING

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

A good part of my upbringing died Friday, when I heard on ESPN Radio about the death of chess legend Bobby Fischer. The fact that a "sports radio" network would mention Fischer may seem unusual in itself. But if poker is considered a sport today....

I became interested in the game of chess in my youth thanks to Bobby Fischer. As a rising U.S. chess star, he had a monthly column in the Boy Scout magazine "Boys Life." I could maneuver knights and bishops a whole lot better than I could the ropes for making square knots.

Bobby Fischer's fame expanded far outside chess clubs in 1972, when he broke the domination of the big bad evil Soviets to win the world title in Iceland. The move-by-move breakdown of each game was in the daily newspaper in Kansas City. But no, Al Michaels was NOT in Reykjavik asking if we believed in miracles....

I was 14 when Bobby Fischer won the world title, but his magazine articles and public TV programs like "Koltanowski on Chess" already had me interested in his game. Suddenly I was ahead of a trend, and took advantage of it as best I could. I stumped my friends at chess, and it felt every bit as good as my older brother always beating me at Monopoly.

(For younger readers, I should note this was an era before video games existed. Primitive "Pong" did not come along until my last year or two of high school. And back then, "Grand Theft Auto" actually referred to someone stealing a car.)

The high school where I attended started a chess club, in the wake of Bobby Fischer's success. I was the occasional number-five player on a five-person team, which meant a couple of road trips to schools like the Catholic powerhouse Rockhurst. It was a touch like playing a college football game at Notre Dame - only in a cafeteria, with no spectators in sight.

All the scorecards of my high school chess career are thrown away now, but my career was average at best. I won some. I lost some. And one memorable loss in a meet got back to my Dad, because our team lost 3-2. Dad was breaking up with my Mom at the time, and heard about it through a friend at work. Maybe if I had hustled down to one of his bowling nights....

When Dad heard about my loss in a 3-2 meet, he asked if I done my best. I said yes, and that was good enough for him. There was no scolding or lecture - and no coaching, since Dad didn't know how to play chess. But that's OK, because he never really taught me how to play his Odd Fellows lodge favorite game of pinochle.

But anyway: Bobby Fischer indirectly led to that father-son bonding moment. But his impact was larger on me in another way - because during that 1972 chess showdown, he demanded to be off on Friday evenings and Saturdays. Some people probably considered it a "psych job" against opponent Boris Spassky. Make him think too much, and he might make a mistake.

But Bobby Fischer made that demand for a religious reason. At the time, he was the most-famous follower of a small Sabbath-keeping religious sect called the Worldwide Church of God. In fact, he was just about the ONLY famous follower - other than the top ministers who tended to dominate the headlines, and even guest-star one week on "Hee Haw." [True!]

Bobby Fischer kept the Sabbath with that group and succeeded. I was doing religious questioning in my teens at the time, and his example was one of the seeds which led to my attending the Worldwide Church of God for a summer during college, then full-time a few years later. If only I'd kept paying attention to Fischer's example -- as he parted company with the sect and became a reclusive semi-maniac.

(Sadly, many members of that denomination have left in recent years - including myself. It changed a large number of doctrinal positions, and even fired Georgia ministers who wanted to keep teaching the old beliefs. Freedom of religion doesn't always mean freedom WITHIN a religious group.)

I can't applaud everything Bobby Fischer did in his eccentric/bizarre later years. But I give him credit for getting me interested in a game which stimulates your thinking - and for helping to lead me to a religious group which did the same thing. If you've never attended a Sabbath-keeping congregation, I suggest you try it. Your ideas about God might be challenged. And we're not all maniacs - really.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1353 (- 288, 17.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

18 JAN 08: FIRST-TIME PLUCKY

"I'm a noh-vis," the woman sitting across from me said late Thursday night.

"I would pronounce it novice," I answered, "but I'm from up north."

The woman who said this was drunk, by her own admission. She also used expletives several times, during our Thursday night poker outing near the Civic Center - so you certainly could not pronounce her as having "no vice."

First to the scoreboard: Your blogger is now a FOUR-time winner in the Thursday night poker tournament at Lil' Kim's Cove! I outlasted about 25 other players, in a marathon that went four-and-a-half hours. And they say poker's not a sport -- this contest lasted longer than any college football bowl game.

But this entry is NOT really about me. It's about the other people around me at the final table. One of the last four players was admittedly drunk, and another acted that way as the night ended. The fact that they lasted so long at a poker tournament is a bit like how Mickey Mantle reportedly hit some of his home runs - by hitting the middle baseball.

The woman I'm calling Hope already seemed to be over the edge, when I was brought into the final table. When your favorite quote seems to be from country singer Gretchen Wilson -- "Gimme a h**l, yeah!" - something doesn't seem quite right.

"What's your name?" Hope asked as a group of us joined the final table.

"Richard."

"Is everybody here named Richard?!" The man to my right happened to have that name as well.

"I don't know. I didn't take roll."

Hope said this was her first poker tournament, yet she had a sizeable number of chips from winning several hands. Some regular players who make the Columbus Poker Tour rounds had more than the ignominy of losing to a rookie -- they had to explain how they were outplayed by a drunk rookie, and a female one at that.

"I can play the cards," Hope assured me a couple of times during the final table. "You've got to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em," she added -- apparently not realizing Kenny Rogers had sung that advice from the Lil Kim's Cove jukebox only a minute before.

Hope didn't seem to lie about her card-playing ability. She never asked for help with the hands she was dealt, but she clearly needed help with other things. When you slowly count pretend five-dollar chips to make an 80-dollar bet.... well, Hope didn't miscount, but we all watched her very carefully.

The number of players at the final table slowly diminished, but Hope's big chip stack kept her in the game. In fact, she took a hand off after announcing, "I'm going to go p**." If you didn't know better, you might have thought Doris Roberts from "Everybody Loves Raymond" was playing....

A woman sitting to Hope's right quickly pointed out her language was not exactly "ladylike" - and Hope corrected her declaration to "use the ladies' room." But then, Lil' Kim's Cove is essentially a bar. And it doesn't serve ladylike drinks, such as cosmos and martinis.

Hope is quite the single woman, with a couple of dogs she described as "the bomb" to keep her company. "I don't have any grandkids, I don't have any kids...." Of course, you're far less likely to have the former if you don't have the latter.

A scary moment occurred with only four players left in the poker contest. Hope started having sharp pains, breathed heavily and seemed on the verge of throwing up on the card table. Of course, the manly man in me moved the playing cards a bit to the side to avoid serious harm....

Thankfully, Hope did NOT throw up. "Have you ever had back spasms?" she said later. I never have, but another poker player had.

"Do you need some water?" a concerned woman asked -- which brought a perhaps predictable answer.

"I need a beer."

After a short pause and NO beer, Hope was well enough to keep playing - but with only four players left, she eventually faced some key decisions about her hands. "I need a moment," she said after another player made a big bet.

"Patience is a virtue, I've heard," I told her.

"I don't have any virtues," Hope answered. She actually seemed a bit smug and proud about that.

Someone had to eliminate Hope from the poker game - and of course, that was me. When a jack fell on the "river card" to give me an ace-high straight, I bet 400 pretend dollars, and Hope couldn't beat it. I'd estimated the number of chips she had in making that bet - but her loss of 400 left her with five. At least on "The Price is Right," I'd be considered a hero....

"I can't play with five," Hope said. The minimum bet at this point was 100, and she technically could have stayed in for at least one more hand. But then an amazing thing happened. A player to my right named Jay got up and gave her a five-dollar bill. If this woman didn't drive to the bar, this would help pay for something much safer.

Hope felt good about finishing fourth in her first-ever poker tournament. I would have walked home feeling good about it as well. But at least I would have been assured of walking home in a straight line - and I'm wondering how good Hope feels as she wakes up this morning.

I know, I know - it's easy to crack jokes about someone who's drunk. Foster Brooks made a career out of playing a "loveable lush," until such humor suddenly became improper and wrong. But it's also easy to use a drunk person's comments and actions as "straight lines" for jokes. I'd test the drunkenness of other college students by holding up fingers and asking, "How many toes am I showing?"

My longtime church pastor once said there are few things uglier to see than a drunken woman. I can understand what he means, after sitting across from Hope. Even though we're both never-married single people, I wouldn't want to date her after seeing what I saw Thursday night. But perhaps others would, based on another country song - "The Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time."

So poker night explains our late post time - and now let's quickly wrap things up with a few Thursday news highlights:

+ Uptown Columbus held its first-ever "annual meeting" at the Trade Center. The special guest was Joseph Riley, who's credited for reviving downtown Charleston, South Carolina. We'll see if Columbus goes all the way in following Charleston's example - and we'll someday have minor league baseball at Richard Bishop Ballpark.

(Reggie Richards of Columbus South Inc. attended the Uptown Columbus meeting. She told WRBL the south side is "not the redheaded stepchild anymore." If anything, it's turning into "the El Nino" of Columbus - the child speaking a language northsiders can't understand.)

+ The Georgia General Assembly held its annual "Sportsman's Day." One person told GPB's "Lawmakers" Georgia is now the number-one destination state for hunters. Just watch the presidential candidates come here over the next couple of weeks, hunting for votes.

+ Instant Message to AirTran Airlines: Now that's a funny billboard! That one near downtown Atlanta which says, "Save water. Shower in another city."

COMING THIS WEEKEND: E-mail which could spark a new library discussion....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1641 (+ 42, 2.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

17 JAN 08: ICE WATER

The rain seemed a little extra noisy, when I stepped outside Wednesday during the noon hour. I assumed it was because something besides rain was falling. But then, rain has been rare in recent months - so maybe my ears were out of tune.

My first assumption turned out to be correct - because small bits of sleet hit my windshield, as I took care of a downtown errand. The sleet fell even though the Columbus temperature was 41 degrees F. So has global warming raised the temperature for water turning to ice?

Areas north of Columbus had conditions a bit more serious. Snow was reported as close to Columbus as Randolph County, Alabama - and somewhere in Wedowee, Hulond Humphries may have remarked about how pure and white snow tends to be.

The Alabama State Patrol actually issued a warning to drivers about dealing with icy conditions. It warned you should drive with headlights on, wipers working and a safe distance around other drivers. In other words, do what you're supposed to be doing all the time - only the troopers really, really mean it.

The sleet didn't last long in Columbus. It wasn't bad enough to force any shutdowns of businesses - and if children are reading this, all area schools are OPEN as of our post time. You don't need to call the TV stations to ask. Besides, that old trick about claiming to survive a car crash involving the superintendent stopped working years ago.

The short spurt of sleet didn't faze some students at Carver High School. They refused to wear winter coats outside in the cold conditions. After all, did you see the football team open umbrellas after it won the state football title in Cairo?

Some Carver High School students say wearing winter coats simply doesn't look cool. They claim the coats don't match their outfits. Aw, c'mon - there must have been at least one episode of "America's Next Top Model" set in Alaska....

Were these high school students being health-foolish, by being so fashion-conscious? A doctor with Stadium Health Care said no, declaring you do NOT catch a cold by not wearing a coat. You simply develop a bad case of "goose bumps."

(You know, maybe the cold weather has some health benefits. Someone needs to study whether you lose more weight by shivering in winter, or sweating in summer.)

So as I write this, Columbus has missed having its first snowfall in several years by about three degrees. Instead, plenty of cold rain soaked our lawns. It was truly like that classic song, "Rainy Night in Georgia." And it felt like it was raining - well, at least in Russell County....

Don't you love the cliches people start using when sleet or snow falls? Several of them came to mind, from conversations Wednesday....

+ A "wintry mix" of weather. That sounds like something candy stores should sell in December.

+ "Old Man Winter" visits. Is he Mother Nature's husband - or some dysfunctional detached relative?

+ A chance for "white stuff." A former news anchor in Atlanta used to have a running joke with me about this. It's called SNOW, people! Besides, cocaine also can be called "white stuff."

BLOG UPDATE: The evening TV news went to Hurtsboro Wednesday, and confirmed what your blog first reported Monday. Interim Police Chief Marvin Christian has a record of six speeding convictions, as well as one for reckless driving. But there are no convictions since 2004 - so maybe his car is aging the same way mine is.

The evening news added Marvin Christian worked with the Union Springs Police Department from 2004 until last year, when he took the Interim Police Chief job in Hurtsboro. His only charge since joining area law enforcement was last year's short-lived menacing charge. Did he spit on someone in Union Springs as he left town?

Contrary to what Constable Robert Schweiger alleged in his e-mail to us, a Hurtsboro city official DID conduct a background check on Marvin Christian. It was City Council member Jannie Jordan - but she admitted she never knew about the six speeding convictions. I'll be glad to check online records, for half the going Muscogee County government rate. That's only 45 dollars per hour.

Another Hurtsboro City Council member wants a special meeting about this week's discoveries. Charlie Tolbert says he's not sure this is what Hurtsboro wants in a police chief. But then again, a "Dirty Harry" kind of officer might be what this town really needs....

Let's see what else the news sources learned, on a rainy winter day:

+ Columbus South Inc. director Reggie Richards told WLTZ the engineering firm which wanted to buy the old Baker High School was NOT up-and-up with her organization. She says WW Associates only wanted to work with the Muscogee County School District's real estate broker. Maybe Richards needs to paint her phone number on the "Kennon Parker Duncan and Key" sign.

+ The Barack Obama Presidential campaign opened a Columbus office on Third Avenue. Shouldn't this office be in Phenix City? Both Georgia and Alabama have presidential primaries 5 February -- and you can't spell his name without "Bama."

(Have you noticed they scheduled the presidential primaries for "Fat Tuesday?" That means the entire region can give up politics for Lent....)

+ Ellaville resident James Crawford told the evening news his water heater blew up, due to sediment from the city water system. City officials say they're not to blame - so if unscheduled fireworks shows begin popping up around town, you'll know which side is right.

+ Opelika High School students raised money for students in Uganda by staging a "Day Without Desks," in which they sat on the floor all day. We did this at times when I was young - only it was kindergarten, and the teachers told us to "sit Indian-style." [True!]

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue presented his "State of the State" address. His invited guests included Kim Blackmon -- a mother of five who works two jobs, takes evening classes at West Georgia Technical College in LaGrange and is applying for a job with Kia. That's quite impressive, but it leaves me asking a question. How in the world did Blackmon find time to attend this speech?

(Sonny Perdue declared Georgia is on the verge of a glorious era, as people return to the South "en masse" due to the "sweet fragrance of optimism" throughout the state. I kept waiting for him to announce a new Governor's Oratory Contest.)

+ Atlanta-area megachurch pastor Earl Paulk pleaded guilty to lying under oath, about fathering a child through one of his relatives. He apparently took that New Testament verse about "as it was in the days of Noah" a little too seriously....

+ Georgia jumped past Alabama 61-54 in men's college basketball. The win puts Bulldog coach Dennis Felton at 68-68 on his Georgia career. If a football coach took this long to reach the .500 mark, Sanford Stadium would only be half-full.

+ Instant Message to WLTZ sportscaster Jeremy Moss: What do you mean, "The city of Gwinnett"?! Gwinnett is a Georgia county. Do you need us to mail some state maps up to Iowa?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1599 (+ 39, 2.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

16 JAN 08: I-PROFIT?

"A ticket for two," the mailing offered me and a guest. Wording like this tells you it's NOT from the Columbus Civic Center - because it's hardly ever crowded enough to require two people to sit in the same seat.

The ticket for two invited me to attend a "Premier Conference Package" today at the Hilton Garden Inn. There's a lunch and a dinner session, with a free meal and business organizer following a "90-minute presentation." American Idol made people watch 30 extra minutes Tuesday night, without any of those extras.

The mailing asked me to R.S.V.P., if I wanted to attend a program on making money through the Internet. The letter hinted at ways to do it, with logos for Yahoo and eBay. So I know where the auction sites are - now all I need is advice on how to put amazing images on slices of toast.

So am I going to the garden today for free food and money-making advice? No, I'm not - because this ticket and mailing looked very familiar to me. I've seen it all before, at another Columbus hotel....

CLASSIC BLOG/30 JUL 03: I was invited to dine for free at the [Four Points] Sheraton, by the promoters of an "Internet Cash-Flow Conference." In fact, I was invited to this via e-mail and postal mail at least six times. I should have accepted ALL the invitations, and filled a van with hungry people from the House of Mercy.

The mailing for the Internet Cash-Flow Conference promised to show me how a home business on the web could make me amazingly wealthy. As someone whose old web site folded in less than three years without ever turning a profit, I went prepared to slither under my chair in embarrassment.

Bad sign #1: My confirmation e-mail said "directional signs will be posted in the hotel lobby." There was only one sign, for a company I'd never heard of - and the Sheraton didn't know how to spell "Azalea Room."

Bad sign #2: The confirmation e-mail warned "all materials will be handed out before 6:00 p.m." Ha! The free business organizers we were promised were given us only as we walked out the door at 8:15.

Bad sign #3: The sign-in guy promised the Azalea Room doors would open at 5:50 p.m. They let us in at 5:55 - and the last several rows were cordoned off with yellow tape. As I said to the woman next to me, "Thankfully the tape didn't say 'Crime Scene' on it."

Our presenter was a man named Jason, who admitted right up-front his goal was to get us to sign up for a SECOND seminar - an all-day affair near the Atlanta airport in two weeks. We could avoid the $2,995 tuition by paying a mere $20 "processing fee" at this conference. How big is Jason's commission if some sucker pays full-price?

Jason admitted he'd read life-planning books by people such as Stephen Covey, but they didn't work for him. He says he arranged his life strategy, "and then life happened." Tell me about it -- I just got booked to work an all-night shift for the next several weeks.

Jason listed the results of some survey (I think it was his own) on the top ten reasons people make extra money. The bottom reason was to donate to charities - which I guess at number 10 makes it the tithing principle.

At one point Jason had everyone in the room close their eyes and "daydream" about what they could do with thousands of dollars in extra money. I did this a bit half-heartedly - because I thought he might sneak by and steal all the notes I was taking.

Jason declared the popular saying "knowledge is power" is NOT true. He said the proper equation should be "knowledge is value, and value equals income." Especially when you have knowledge of which stores off the best values....

Jason listed four characteristics of successful people - then had everyone in the room stand and affirm, "Yes I do" have those characteristics. Considering the first one is "a burning desire for money," [true] I felt awfully guilty and greedy.

As for making money on the Internet, Jason said anyone can have a web site - but the key is successful marketing. This was about as big a revelation as learning the key to winning car races is gasoline.

Another key to Internet success, Jason revealed, was offering things for free -- because it beats buying things. Absolutely! So our thanks to Jason for the free dinner - and we invite you to make this free blog a success by sending us a donation of any size.

Bad sign #4: Jason declared anyone can sell anything online, no matter what your skin color - because "the Internet can't discriminate." So why does the agreement to attend the second workshop rule out web sites which spread hatred?

It was 7:45 p.m. before the Sheraton staff brought out dinner - pasta salad, followed by turkey, ham and cheese sandwiches. After reading and hearing testimonials making thousands of dollars in monthly sales, I was expecting at least a sirloin.

BLOG UPDATE: Back in the here and now, WW and Associates withdrew its offer Tuesday to buy several Muscogee County School District properties. So the old Baker High School will stay right where it is - and keep slowly deteriorating as it has for years.

Let's see what else made news on Tuesday:

+ A source I tend to trust is telling friends Bruce Frasier has left the WRBL sports staff. That leaves Jack Rodgers as the only person in the sports office - and gives Susan-Elizabeth Littlefield another opportunity to add to her skills resume.

+ Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison confirmed a mother of one of the "Jena Six" students talked with him about local schools. But Shaw High School refused to comment on rumors that two of the Louisiana teenagers have enrolled there. That ought to increase attendance at this weekend's Martin Luther King Day parade....

(Bill Madison says he told the "Jena Six" mother about Muscogee County Schools. Considering his recent complaint about the school district's retirement system, I'm surprised he didn't tell the woman to move to Hamilton or Cusseta.)

+ WXTX "News at Ten" showed an etiquette class at Clubview Elementary School. I assume special care is taken in these classes - and even the butter knives are paper-mache.

+ Two Greenville, Georgia city council members resigned -- and city workers told WRBL another councilor is refusing to sign their paychecks, apparently in a dispute over the new mayor. Before long, the only "green" in Greenville could be in the bank vault.

+ Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson told a state Chamber of Commerce breakfast property taxes are "18^th-century" and should be abolished. He said it's time to stop "taxing things, and start taxing consumption." Huh?! Isn't that still a tax on things - as in how often you use them?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1560 (+ 51, 3.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

15 JAN 08: HOBBS-SCOTCH

The Columbus election year unofficially opened Monday - and it began with a potential challenger taking back a promise he made a year ago. Doesn't this give you hope for the future of our government?

The back-tracker is Jeremy Hobbs, who ran for Columbus Council and lost in 2004. He says he'll file letters of intent with the city and state, to challenge Red McDaniel again. Some of us can remember when you couldn't sign a "letter of intent" until national signing day, when.... oh wait, that's football.

Last January Jeremy Hobbs sent an e-mail to Red McDaniel, asking if the veteran Columbus Councilor planned to run for reelection. Hobbs wrote he would NOT run if McDaniel did. Now Hobbs has sent McDaniel another e-mail of explanation - so I guess we have a race here.

Jeremy Hobbs sent e-mail "media releases" Monday explaining his change of plans. He says "an abundance of people" have urged him to run for Columbus Council again - and the city needs "a refresher and new image...." Is the phrase "What progress has preserved" that outdated already?

Jeremy Hobbs is tying his bid for Columbus Council to the Muscogee County School Board's plans for a new administration building. One issue mentioned in his media releases is for the school superintendent's job to be an elected office -- which makes you wonder why Hobbs doesn't run for the school board, so he can try to vote out John Phillips personally.

Jeremy Hobbs contends school board and city matters are related - and apparently fears the proposed school administration building will lead to the mayor's proposed city sales tax being voted down. It's as if Mayor Jim Wetherington needs to come out and say his new police stations will look nicer - when they're installed by Action Buildings.

Jeremy Hobbs's statements also call for Columbus Fire Chief Jeff Meyer to be "fired as chief and demoted to Deputy Chief." Both? Accepting a lesser position after you're fired doesn't seem to happen very often - unless it's major league baseball, and you can pinch-hit for a World Series contender.

In a way, I would have been surprised if Jeremy Hobbs had NOT run for some kind of office this year. He's sent dozens of e-mails to news outlets across Columbus in the last 12 months, on all kinds of issues. Hobbs is getting by without talk radio very well, thank you....

I've seen some of Jeremy Hobbs's e-mails - so I can tell you where he stands on major issues:

+ Against working traffic lights on 13^th Street during afternoon rush hour. Hobbs wants two police officers to direct traffic between Veterans Parkway and the bridge to Phenix City. Those of you driving on First, Second and Third Avenues will have to find your own way around this.

+ In favor of strict five-minute limits on public comments at Columbus Council meetings. So if Paul Olson can't control his tongue, he might find himself speaking to an empty chamber.

+ Against the "Sound Off" column in the Ledger-Enquirer. He calls it a "rancid column of.... insane filth." I assume Hobbs does not subscribe to Rolling Stone magazine, either.

+ In favor of invading Iran. He wrote in June it could save "quite possibly millions of innocent lives." Maybe President Bush has decided to let Saudi Arabia launch an air attack instead.

+ In favor of Sunday alcohol sales - IF the money is used to improve school security. Hobbs tried to organize a campaign called "Protect Our Kids" after the Virginia Tech bloodbath last April. You noticed how well it developed - right?!

+ Possibly against the Columbus population at large. In a November e-mail Hobbs wrote: "The people of this city seem to hold a grudge about everything." But then again, November is the month of the Auburn-Georgia football game.

BLOG UPDATE: It appears the Marvin Christian with the long list of speeding convictions we mentioned Monday really is the interim Hurtsboro Police Chief. I'm told Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoba is looking into his actions in Union Springs. Of course, she might take her time investigating Christian - to set a better example for him.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our Instant Message of Sunday brought a reply from Clear Channel Radio on Monday....

Hey Richard;

What time and day did you hear the Marion Jones PSA on WDAK?

Thanks;

-Joseph-

Let's see -- I think I heard it in the 5:00 p.m. half-hour, on either 26 December or 10 January. I was jogging around South Commons with headphones on. And I was listening to the TV news simulcast - which may prove I'm more addicted to the news than I ought to be.

On down the AM dial - welcome back, WRCG! The station with the vandalized tower finally went back on the air Monday. Neal Boortz can put down his giant bullhorn now....

And now let's see what caught our ears and eyes on Monday:

+ A Muscogee County School Board work session discussed a possible sale of the Baker High School property. Reggie Richards of Columbus South Inc. says she wants the building on Benning Drive kept as a "historic landmark." Besides, there's no good place in the Historic District to tow it.

+ Columbus Fire Chief Jeff Meyer admitted to the Ledger-Enquirer only about five percent of the firefighter/EMS force is female. I'm not sure he admitted this as part of the Zachary Allen investigation, because of that complaint a female EMS employee made awhile back - or if someone's upset because all the "firehouse hottie" calendars seem to show men.

+ Newell/Rubbermaid told WRBL it plans to relocate its Goody distribution center on Cargo Drive to Atlanta. Someone from the Chamber of Commerce needs to go there, and change the signs to "Baddy."

+ Phenix City officials met with state lawmakers about the proposed five-cent county soft drink tax. Councilor John Storey told WXTX "News at Ten" even if the proposal goes on the ballot, "I don't think we're stupid enough to vote a tax on ourselves." Just like voters were too smart to approve that school sales tax last year....

+ WLTZ's late-night newscast "11@11" never got on the air. I'm not sure what happened - but it wasn't even renamed "Coca-Cola Zero@11."

+ The Southern Christian Leadership Conference office in Atlanta promised to file federal tax reports within 45 days, after falling three years behind. The SCLC leaders said, "How long? Not long!" - and the Internal Revenue Service answered, "I'm sorry, you need to be more specific."

+ A female deer crashed through the front window of Cici's Pizza in Prattville, Alabama. It should be obvious why this restaurant was chosen -- it wanted fresh doe.

+ Columbus State University athletic director Herbert Greene was named to the C.S.U. sports Hall of Fame. Greene has won hundreds of basketball games over the years, but I've always been amazed by one particular loss - when he dropped more than 50 pounds one off-season. [True!]

+ LaGrange native Mike Cameron signed a one-year contract with baseball's Milwaukee Brewers. He'll miss the first 25 games of the season for a drug violation - yet he'll earn seven million dollars. So next time you take your child to a ball game, don't try to claim crime doesn't pay.

(Do you realize what this deal means? If Milwaukee is willing to pay Mike Cameron this much money after his second drug violation, Roger Clemens actually might be able to pitch one more season.)

+ Instant Message to WRBL reporter Kelly O'Connell: Trust me on this - Muscogee County School Board member Fife Whiteside pronounces his first name like "fife and drum." He is NOT from Senegal.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1509 (+ 33, 2.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, January 14, 2008

14 JAN 08: H__L TO THE CHIEF

We know the proper way to fill in that blank, should President Bush come back to Fort Benning. But in other places, things could be different. An e-mail to us the other day made that clear....

Sir Richard:

Happy New Year! I just thought I would throw a little garbage your way. Things are really going down to the "Dump" ( pardon the pun) so to speak! Let's see if my attachment fills in some blanks

Constable R.J. Schweiger.

Yes, our contributor from Hurtsboro has contacted us again - the man for whom "trash talk" can have a couple of meanings.

Robert Schweiger attached a letter he mailed last week to Hurtsboro's elected officials. For some reason, it did NOT have "Happy New Year" in its opening line:

To whom it may concern"

Where will it ever end? When will you concede that your inept efforts are far from successful in all areas of corporation management? I won't reiterate the list of shortcomings per se. Let's just concentrate on personnel; on this occasion.

Any management team - worth its salt - conducts background checks before employing ANY applicant! Those to be entrusted with the public's safety and well being should be scrutinized under a microscope! If you people had made ANY effort whatsoever; to discover the past performance and other criteria that either qualifies or disqualifies an applicant for police work you would have the facts that I have in hand! I'm not going to reveal what I've discovered, but, in my opinion; they would make hiring these individuals an act of desperation rather than a sensible choice!

Marvin Christian (our interim Chief) has been observed loitering; in uniform, at The After Five Lounge. When he realized he had been seen, he accosted the observer and made a vague threat. On another occasion (with the Mayor at his side) he used vulgar language and only the citizen's size kept him from getting physical. On 1/9/08 Christian resorted to vulgarities and threats when I engaged him in conversation about the Town's garbage pick-up operation!

This type of verbal outbursts and direct threats are NOT acceptable in any individual - let alone a police officer. I have filed a complaint with the Russell County Sheriff and intend to follow up on it!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

P.S. When the County Deputy arrived; Chief Christian was no where to be found, and both patrol vehicles were left unsecured (doors unlocked) and they remained unsecured through the night and next day. They are probably still unlocked!

I can't resist starting with the P.S. of this letter. I thought one of the wonderful things about living in a small town was that people do NOT have to lock their doors at night. If both Hurtsboro police cars are still there, doesn't that show there's no crime problem? Or are they as broken down as the garbage truck tends to be?

The Constable might be surprised to learn there are plenty of well-known businesses which do NOT conduct employee background checks -- even in Columbus. They might lack the staffing to do it. Or the human resources departments might be too busy using their computers for other things - such as shopping for caterers for upcoming board meetings.

I'm not sure what "facts" R.J. Schweiger is holding in his hand. But a Google search Sunday night for "Marvin Christian" didn't seem to show anything unusual. There was a Marvin Christian who does photography -- but if he's advertising his own web site and there's no "xxx" in the description, I would assume he's legitimate.

A check of the Alabama state court system's web site found a "Marvin Christian" was arrested for menacing last July in Union Springs. That's a town right down Alabama Highway 51 from Hurtsboro. But the charge was dismissed one month later -- so for all I know, that man might have been a "doomsday" preacher.

There's also a Marvin Christian from Union Springs who racked up six speeding convictions from 1998 to 2004. The last one was for driving more than 25 miles over the speed limit. Come to think of it, there are times when a small-town police chief might have to resort to that....

We must note we have no way of knowing if the Marvin Christian listed in these Bullock County court records is the same one who's now the interim Police Chief of Hurtsboro. There could be more than one Christian in east Alabama. After all, the area has so many Baptist churches....

Now to the Constable's list of allegations. How is he defining "loitering" at a lounge? At some nightclubs on Broadway, this might have a different name - police overtime pay.

Since we try to keep this blog G-rated, I don't plan to ask about what sort of vulgarities Marvin Christian used in recent days. But it seems R.J. Schweiger is on a campaign to go far beyond cleaning up Hurtsboro's garbage - he wants to clean up the town's mouths as well.

(Perhaps the Constable is inspired by a proposal near St. Louis to ban swearing inside bars. Opponents of the ban planned to hold an organizational meeting - and hopefully their children were left with babysitters.)

If Marvin Christian did the things Constable R.J. Schweiger is claiming.... well, wouldn't that explain the "interim" in the police chief's title? The Hurtsboro City Council may have him on a preliminary "probation" of sorts. Bring out the audio tapes - and as they say in football, after further review we could have a reversal.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to Columbus law enforcement, and a fugitive we mentioned here Sunday....

I think American's Most Wanted did not cover the murders of the college students by Registe because they used several minutes in a memorial piece about one of their own who died this week...So,perhaps next Saturday night they will cover this slime ball..I wonder if his sister will be charged with helping him escape since she bought his plane ticket out of Columbus after the killings..?

Your theory about the missing mention of Michael Registe seems to be correct. WRBL reported Sunday evening that the case will be mentioned on next weekend's program. Why the Fox network thinks WRBL carries this program, I'm not really sure....

The question about Michael Registe's sister is a good one. It's possible she could make a plea deal, and become a prime government witness against him - unless, of course, someone bought HER a plane ticket to Dominica in the last six months.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on a proposed Georgia gun law closed Sunday evening - and two-thirds of you support a law guaranteeing the right to keep a firearm in a locked car at your workplace (10-5). That settles it for me. I'm not touching anybody's bumpers from now on - even if it means I can't parallel park for blocks.

Without our realizing it, we posted our question as National Rifle Association officials visited Georgia lawmakers in Atlanta. The N.R.A. executives said a proposal similar to what we described would allow you to be protected in your car, while heading to and from work. Those teenagers promoting donut sales on street corners had better show open boxes -- and have no orange icing.

Now to other items of interest from Sunday's news:

+ WRCG-AM remained off the air, two days after it hoped to finally repair vandalism to its tower. The staff of this station has to be frustrated. Dozens of people must be calling, to complain it's part of the vast media conspiracy against Presidential candidate Ron Paul.

+ Auburn assaulted Georgia in women's basketball 82-52. The highlights on WRBL showed a giant curtain behind one of the baskets at Beard-Eaves Coliseum. Either the crowd was embarrassingly small - or Auburn's women were celebrating "Extreme Makeover Home Edition Day."

+ Instant Message to all Publix customers: Please note for the next couple of days, a half-gallon of soy milk costs less than a half-gallon of cow's milk. Buy vanilla, and you'll probably like it. Buy plain, and it might taste.... well, just plain.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEK: Did you receive an invitation to a conference on Internet moneymaking? We'll save you the trouble....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1476 (- 110, 6.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

13 JAN 08: UN-REGISTE-D

Columbus was supposed to be mentioned Saturday night on "America's Most Wanted." So where were we? Was our case shown in the middle of a commercial break -- while most ordinary guys like me were busy checking on the N.F.L. playoff game?

The front page of Friday's Ledger-Enquirer promised America's Most Wanted would have an update on the Michael Registe case. Registe has been missing six months, wanted for killing two Columbus State University students. My first thought was that Registe might have snuck into the Fox control room, and stolen the videotape about his life.

When John Walsh never mentioned Michael Registe on America's Most Wanted, I knew what I had to do. I became a web detective, and went online for answers. Looking back, I should have put on a fedora hat to do this - but Matt Drudge might have sued me for identity theft.

Step 1: I call up the America's Most Wanted web site. Michael Registe isn't on the home page, but several sketches of suspected killers are. That's a pretty sneaky idea for this show -- drawing a crowd.

The web site has an "advanced search" tab at the top of the home page -- but I'm told it's NOT operating at the moment, due to heavy traffic on the web site. A likely story. America's Most Wanted has been off the air about five minutes. It shouldn't take that long for thousands of viewers to type in tips.

Step 2: I go to the most likely source of searching - Google. Amazingly, a search for Michael Registe shows a page for America's Most Wanted as the top item. Is this a sign of a cover-up - or concealing evidence?

A click of that top item on the Google search leads me to the America's Most Wanted section on Michael Registe. It's labeled as a "web exclusive." Uh-huh. Stealing concepts from this blog will get you nowhere....

The back-door hidden web section shows Michael Registe could be using several aliases. He reportedly fled to the Caribbean using the name Hakeem Penn - and maybe he belongs with some Hakeems in the "pen" at Guantanamo Bay.

The web profile tells me something I didn't know before - that Michael Registe fled the mainland after another Columbus shooting in 2005. He reportedly fled to St. Thomas both times. Do the Virgin Islands have any towns with "sinner" in their names?

Michael Registe may currently be hiding with relatives on the Caribbean island of Dominica. But would people there even watch America's Most Wanted? Unless they want to be reminded of how crime-free their small country is, by comparison?

The profile posted of Michael Registe shows he has tattoos on both arms. The left arm has letters in Chinese and the words "706 Ganxta." So he fits the description of far too many local criminals - being unable to spell.

Step 3: I check the Ledger-Enquirer's web site, to see if the newspaper had updated its front-page Friday story on Michael Registe. Was it told about the case being moved off the America's Most Wanted telecast, to a "web exclusive?" There's no update to indicate either way. Maybe the editor should call 1-800-CRIME-TV to report being flim-flammed.

P.S. I hardly ever watch America's Most Wanted, so I was a bit surprised by one segment featuring a stripper taken hostage by her boyfriend. It showed a rather steamy "reenactment" of the woman's nightclub act, right down to her wearing little more than a bra backstage. I guess this is what it takes to compete with C.S.I. reruns on Saturday nights....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back to the Ledger-Enquirer's web site, and an article we referred to here Friday....

Dear Richard:

Long time, no see, Sweetie!

I just clicked on the link to Ms. Sledge's article about the old Sears building in your January 11 post. As you know, I'm not the most technologically proficient person in Columbus (or even in my house--my eight year-old knows more than I) and I had never seen her work on-line before. I was absolutely floored by the hateful comments posted by apparently anonymous writers. I'm not sure the Ledger is doing a service to the community by allowing people to post such venom when, it appears, they are too spineless to sign their names to it. What possesses people?

Maxine Hardy

What possesses people, you ask? I could give you the theological answer - but in Columbus, the answer could be something even simpler than that. It's called ignorance....

But it's not simply a chain of attacks against columnist Kaffie Sledge. Ever since the Ledger-Enquirer opened its articles for immediate online comments, I've noticed several which might politely be called mean-spirited. Maybe they're the people who never called "TalkLine," because they were afraid of being on radio.

The Internet era has been trumpeted for its promotion of free speech. For better or worse, the people who leave comments at the Ledger-Enquirer's web site are exercising theirs. So do the people who write this blog -- only with our format, it takes a few days for a good debate to get rolling. Time to think before you write can be a good thing....

And let's see if the weekend news inspires people to write us some more:

+ The pastor at the church I'm attending declared "soda pop" is a Satanic corruption of water. No wonder Dr. John Pemberton left Columbus long ago - he knew the Bible Belt fundamentalists would run him out of town.

+ Two former Talbot County firefighters were arrested, on charges of torching a Talbotton tax office last November. This crime clearly makes no sense at all. For one thing, shouldn't angry taxpayers set fire to it in April?

(The suspects include a father and son -- the son being former firefighter Norman Cable. People across Talbot County suddenly sounded like Shaggy in that DirecTV commercial: "Zoiks, it's the Cable guy!")

+ WRBL reported Wal-Mart is considering buying the old Baker High School site, and turning it into a Super-Center. Now that's the way to spark a controversy. Do we bring plenty of business and jobs to Victory Drive, by tearing down its most historic building? Or do we move it down the street -- where the demolition of Baker Village turns out to be perfectly timed?

+ The Courier reported the End Zone Sports Bar on First Avenue has closed. The bar was hurt by its hard-to-find location - since many people in Columbus think north of downtown, the only thing west of Second Avenue is a riverbank.

+ A new "soldier and family assistance center" opened at Fort Benning. I noticed on TV that it has a game room, where people can throw darts - which could be perfect for the Iraq veterans fighting post-traumatic stress disorder.

+ Columbus State University held its annual winter "Visitation Day" for parents. Is there a better name for this thing? I mean, local jails and prisons have those things as well....

+ The Four Points Sheraton hotel hosted a "Starving Artists' Sale." If they're so starving, how can they afford to rent space at this hotel - much less buy TV commercial time?

+ The owners of the Atlanta alternative radio station known as 99-X announced it will go off the main FM dial. Cumulus Media promises the station will keep broadcasting online and on high-definition radio -- but for most people, the old approach has 99-Xpired.

+ Southern California football coach Pete Carroll told CBS Sports he had only a "casual conversation" with the Atlanta Falcons, and is NOT interested in becoming their head coach. So why not go after Brian Billick? He won a Super Bowl in Baltimore -- and he's won division titles with quarterbacks almost as ordinary as Atlanta has now.

+ Instant Message to WDAK Radio: You heard about Marion Jones, right -- six months in prison?! So maybe it's time to drop that public service announcement, where she talks about good sportsmanship....

SCHEDULED MONDAY: A police chief under fire.... can you guess where?....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1586 (- 165, 9.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.