The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

for 12 DEC 07: WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE

....and in fact, that was the problem. There was overflowing water Tuesday in a central Columbus location which was NOT supposed to have any. Come to think of it, maybe Cross Country Plaza would have enjoyed better business over the years if it had a fountain on the grounds somewhere....

A water main broke Tuesday, flooding a row of businesses at Cross Country Plaza. As I drove into the parking lot, a large fleet of bright green trucks was parked on the west side of the main plaza. But for all I knew, some company's staff might have been celebrating a strange holiday party at Chuck E Cheese.

But as I walked around Cross Country Plaza, I began to realize something was wrong. Sally Beauty Supply was closed for the day because of a flooded floor, and recommended customers go to the Bradley Park Drive store instead. Now this was truly one bad hair day....

(I spotted one mother advising her child NOT to step in a puddle of murky-looking water outside Sally Beauty Supply. You never know how much peroxide might be mixed in.)

Next door to Sally, a collection of cleaning machines was assembled inside the store where V.V. Vick Jewelers used to be. But no Serv-Pro personnel were inside with them. In fact, I don't recall seeing any of them at all. Maybe they were at Books-A-Million, reading about the right techniques.

The Subway sandwich shop was still open, but two industrial-type fans were blowing on the floor. Not even that air was chilly enough to make the customers think it was December.

It was a Subway employee who confirmed for me a water main had broken behind the shop. This seemed strange, considering how warm it's been lately. You might expect it if we had more normal December temperatures -- chilly enough to use an ice scraper on your car. I'm NOT lobbying for Oklahoma-style weather, where ice knocks tree limbs on your car.

The busted water main reminded me of the last mishap at Cross Country Plaza, and not many steps away from Tuesday's trouble. It was the Deorio's fire a couple of years ago, which left water damage at a few businesses up the hill. Let's all be thankful Subway doesn't boast of its sandwiches being toasted - or history could have repeated itself.

On down the sidewalk from Tuesday's mess, I walked into some confusion. Steve and Barry's has a big "GRAND OPENING" banner by its overhead sign, facing Macon Road - yet boxes were piled up by the front door, and a sign said the store is NOT open yet. Where's the big rush to get year-end business? Or is that sort of enthusiasm "uncool" for their customers?

As I drove home from Cross Country Plaza, I was reminded of the shopping center's old competition. The old Sears Auto Center is now a giant hole in the ground - and amazingly, there wasn't a big pit of used oil left under the foundation.

WLTZ reported Tuesday the old Sears department store by Macon Road should be leveled by next week. Then the last sign of Columbus Square Mall will be gone - well, except for the closed movie theater complex behind the main library. You'd think someone would paint it, to give a slight impression of greenspace.

BLOG UPDATE: In what we probably should call "Revelation Chapter 3," Mayor Jim Wetherington announced Tuesday the son of Councilor Gary Allen will NOT be prosecuted for a positive cocaine test on a city job last fall. I thought our mayor used to be Georgia Corrections Commissioner - not a member of the pardons and parole board.

Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison was his usual unhappy self at this announcement. He declared Zachary Allen should be jailed and fully prosecuted. Hopefully someone explained to Madison after the Columbus Council meeting that the rape charge against Allen still stands.

(How bizarre this scene must have been. The "law and order" mayor refuses to lock up an offender, while the civil rights activist demands an immediate arrest?!)

Bill Madison also suggested Columbus Fire Chief Jeff Meyer should resign, because of the way the Zachary Allen "cocaine crash" was handled. But to his credit, Madison stayed a bit under control. He stopped short of demanding Councilor Gary Allen resign, for poor parental discipline.

Mayor Wetherington said the people who somehow wrote down Zachary Allen's positive cocaine test as "negative" have been disciplined. Maybe they had to take a 200-question math test, with positive and negative numbers.

E-MAIL UPDATE: It's been ten days since our blog was mentioned in the Ledger-Enquirer. So it's about time someone piped up about our local megachurch again....

Awhile back you interviewed the pastor of Cascade Hills Church [7 Oct]. Well here are some more thoughts. It would seem as though Bill were not completely honest and forthcoming with you in your interview.

"Dr. Bill Purvis noted the e-mailer only quotes part of section of the document about the "ecclesiastical tribunal." That section goes on to say the church Board of Directors "shall use as its sole and final authority and standard the Holy Scriptures...."

I wonder if some of the people on the board even own a copy of the Holy Scriptures and if they do how they reconcile the scripture with what some of them do for a living?

Bill Purvis added the bylaw change was approved by the Cascade Hills Church membership, at a business meeting earlier this year. And he assured me church membership meetings still will be used to settle matters in the future. This is why it pays to pick up those announcement bulletins in the foyer....

Please ask Purvis for a copy of the minutes from this meeting as well as the date it happened. I was attending CHC at the time and according to their bylaws in effect at the time the announcement of a vote on bylaws had to be made for two weeks prior to the vote at ever service stating the purpose of the vote. This simply did not happen. In addition after the announcement is made for two weeks and the meeting is held, there is to be a quorum with at least 2/3 of the quorum voting in favor of the change. To my knowledge this simply did not happen. At said meeting there are to be minutes recorded. To my knowledge, this simply did not happen. Show me the minutes. In addition, in the Restated articles it says that the only people that voted on the restatement were the board members and that according to church rules, that is all that was necessary. However, if i read the bylaws correctly that statement if false.

Bill Purvis admitted one of the Cascade Hills Board of Directors "has deep pockets," and might sue an e-mailer on his own. But the pastor is choosing NOT to do so,

Yet another in a long list of false statements. Seems as though he did choose to at least attempt to sue the people. Rumor would have it that he stated as recently as this weekend that the church will continue to pursue those spreading the truth. This order signed by his friend Doug Pullen (who appears on his web site and his testimony video) was not issued by or for those with "Deep Pockets", but for Cascade Hills, President Bill Purvis. TRUTH, isn't it an amazing thing.

even though a church attorney claims to have an IP address to track down the source of the message. Praying for heavenly intervention with a lightning strike can settle things even faster, you know

YET ANOTHER OF HIS MANY MANY FALSE STATEMENTS. If, as he said here he already had the IP address why then did a month or more later he have to get an order to obtain that information from YAHOO? Why did he claim during one of his services that he had a friend that was CIA who had already done this for him? Ok Bill which is it A. you already had the info at the time of the interview as you stated B. Your CIA buddy got it for you as you stated or C. You had your attorney attempt to get the info for you using one of your friends who is a Superior Court Judge as your actions proved?

So what about this "dissolution of the Corporation" language? Dr. Bill Purvis explained under the old bylaws, HE had the power to dissolve the church and spread the assets as he wished. So this isn't a power grab - it's a small-scale version of ordaining 12 apostles

Wrong again….it required a vote previously. READ THE BY LAWS RICHARD. READ THE BY LAWS MEMBERS Now the story Bill is spreading is that this change was made to protect the membership, because they (the individual members) could have been sued under the old bylaws. I am no attorney, but that doesn't seem to make sense to me. In addition, his reasoning for doing this seems to change with whoever he is talking to about it. REGARDLESS why didn't he tell the membership before he did it?

"I know of three churches in this town which have sold in the last two years.... where the Pastor and the Board pocketed some of the money," Purvis said. He did NOT name the churches - so there, the e-mailer DOES have something new to work on

Was one of those three churches Temple Baptist Church? Because nobody knows where the money went for temple. Follow the trail. Temple Baptist Inc. (Mike Stephens President and pastor) sold it to Cascade Hills Baptist Inc. (Bill Purvis, Spud Warr, Mike Patrick) for $10.00. Cascade Hills Baptist Inc. in turn sold it to Bethany for over $700, 000.00. Another blatant violation of the CHC bylaws. The bylaws called for an announcement two weeks in advance from the pulpit. In addition this announcement was to notify people of what the meeting was about and that there would be a vote taken. A vote of a quorum of members with 2/3 voting in favor before any property over $500, 000.00 could be sold.

Ironically Mike Stephens, the former pastor and President of Temple started working for Cascade Hills Church immediately after this sweetheart deal. WHERE ARE THE MEMBERS OF THE OLD TEMPLE BAPTIST. How did you let them get away with kicking you out of your church?

Bill Purvis added if Cascade Hills Church ever is dissolved, the new bylaws require the board to distribute the assets to nonprofit agencies.

OK, and I am not suggesting that this would happen, but Bill has created a nonprofit agency called Bill Purvis Ministries (secretary of state web site) What would keep him from selling the assets and transferring them to BPM. With him and his family being the ONLY board members.

The husband of the Cascade Hills Church clerk overheard my conversation with Bill Purvis, and said he was "offended" when he received the e-mail about the bylaw change. Church leaders say the e-mailers are ignorant of the process. They're also apparently ignorant of the New Testament passage about "going to your brother" first, not the congregation at large.

Sorry Bill, but you tried to slip this one under our noses and you got caught. Ignorance is what you depend on. Sorry you have been let down. Bill and Spud have been approached first, but Spud said "the finances of this church are non of your business"

Pastor Bill Purvis did NOT bring up the e-mail during the Saturday evening service. He told me afterward that was because 80 percent of the Cascade Hills membership probably doesn't know about it, and bringing it up "would only confuse them." As if some members weren't confused when Purvis declared during his sermon there are 32 miles in a marathon.... [True!]

Yes I am sure that telling them about changing the bylaws before you did it and letting them vote would have only confused them as well. He did however have a show of hands of who had received the emails the at the Sunday service the following day.

Keep in mind: church leaders say this was approved in a membership business meeting. But yes, I know of some churches where this approach would be normal. The one headed by Utah's Warren Jeffs probably has done it often.

SHOW ME THE MINUTES FROM THIS MEETING AND VOTE….

Amidst all these e-mails and accusations, we should not overlook Bill Purvis's sermon topic this weekend. He's focusing on Jonah 4, and saying we should not put "petty stuff" above the "big picture" of ministering to people. A high-profile minister such as Purvis probably has to deal with "petty stuff" a lot - such as people asking why no dramatic videotapes play during his sermons anymore.

Some might consider taking the time and expense to hunt down people who told the truth about you could be considered "Petty Stuff". Bill likes to claim that someone stole the church email list...simply not true. The staff emails are public and listed on the website and any member who were emailed were known by the emailer.

By choosing to appear in 394 million homes, Bill has given up a certain amount of his privacy, that is his choice. Can you imagine how much money T.V. preachers would have to spend to hunt down everyone who had anything negative to say about them? Jerry Falwell and Robert Tilton would have spent ten fortunes alone. There is nothing untrue in this email. Some of it not faltering, but true non the less.

You have the all of the documents that support these claims if you choose to read them. They are all public information so you are free to post them along with this email.

Every thing secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity. -- Lord Action

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. -- Lord Action

Thank you for all your comments - and I'm sure the Cascade Hills Church attorneys will be in touch with you shortly.

There's a lot to address here - and it should be noted that the Cascade Hills Church lobby has a bookshelf with dozens of copies of the Bible. But then again, I've never seen anyone "borrow" a copy for a service.

As for the Bible and the church board: are we talking about Michael Patrick here? As in Carmike Cinemas? Just because he shows R-rated movies doesn't mean he sneaks away and watches them....

When I interviewed Bill Purvis and other Cascade Hills members in October, I asked them when the business meeting occurred to approve a bylaw change. No one could remember the date, but the updated bylaws were filed with the Secretary of State's office 8 August. Don't you wonder if I had asked what the sermon topics were in July....?!

It's possible Pastor Bill Purvis changed his mind about filing suit, after talking with us in early October. Does that mean his earlier statement was false? Even God changed his instructions in the Bible from time to time - which is why Cascade Hills Church doesn't offer animal sacrifices every week.

It's also possible a Cascade Hills Church attorney had an IP address in early October, which turned out to be a dead end. After all, longtime blog readers must have wondered how "IsOurCitySafe" wasn't tracked down by Columbus Police and disciplined a couple of years ago....

If you're looking for the former members of Temple Baptist Church, I suggest you take a weekend trip down Buena Vista Road. I discovered recently Dr. Mike Stephens has set up a "storefront ministry" in a strip mall near Wal-Mart, and uses it for Sunday afternoon gospel singing. It's so well hidden in the opposite corner of Columbus, Bill Purvis might not even know about it.

Did Spud Warr really say the members of Cascade Hills Church have no right to know about the church's finances? I'd expect a pastor like Creflo Dollar and Eddie Long to say that, but not a board member...

The next time I attend Cascade Hills Church, I'll ask about those business meeting minutes. But I haven't attended that church in several weeks - and it's a matter of hours, not minutes. The hour of Saturday night worship is too late for a Sabbath-keeper like me.

While some people grumble about Cascade Hills Church, it continues to be open for ministry. About 300 children of inmates showed up there late Tuesday, for an "Evening with Santa." As far as we know, none of the inmates have been locked up for spreading potentially slanderous e-mails.

Now for other highlights from a busy Tuesday:

+ The high temperature in Columbus tied a record again, at 76 degrees F. The lights were on at Golden Park for the second night in a row - and it doesn't seem right for Columbus High School to have baseball practice before Carver's football season is over.

(I saw a strange weather-related sight as I jogged by the Columbus Civic Center. A small tree had pink buds coming out, while it still had autumn leaves on it. It was almost symbolic of the current presidential race....)

+ The Russell County Sheriff's Office held the grand opening of its new training facility and firing range in Fort Mitchell. It's named after Sheriff Tommy Boswell - so deputies who use the range will be using Tommy guns.

(A surprise guest at the firing range grand opening was country music legend George Jones. I'm not sure how he wound up there - but I hope he didn't risk arrest by singing "White Lightning.")

+ The Russell County Commission voted 4-1 for a referendum on a five-cent soft drink tax. If the Alabama Legislature approves it, voters will have the final "yes or no" on it - and then the reaction really will Bubble Up.

(A soft drink distributor argued Russell County would become "the only county in the nation" with a soft drink tax. That's a bit misleading, because states such as Tennessee have had a soft drink tax for years -- and a national tax was imposed during World War I. Some people in Hurtsboro might argue a similar time of crisis exists there today.)

+ The Russell County School Board voted to offer potential Superintendent Yvette Richardson a contract paying $120,000 per year. A proposal to offer $105,000 was turned down - showing again how Dr. John Phillips has raised the bar for education across our area.

+ John White of Manchester was freed from prison, after serving 27 years of a life sentence for rape. DNA tests of hairs from the crime scene indicated someone else was the rapist. This explains why "Charlie's Angels" never were trained to be C.S.I. examiners.

+ WLTZ reported as of 12:00 noon, Carver High School had sold 600 tickets for Saturday's AAA football final on the road. It was allotted about 3,000 seats. C'mon, folks - this Cairo is NOT in Egypt.

+ Atlanta Falcons football coach Bobby Petrino resigned after 13 games, reportedly to move to the University of Arkansas. So let's see - his sentence was only about half as long as Michael Vick's.

+ Auburn football offensive coordinator Al Borges resigned. The "Huntsville Times" reported head coach Tommy Tuberville told him to leave, even before the bowl game in Atlanta - so apparently someone has to pay for Tuberville's nice raise.

+ Instant Message to the Orange Bowl in Miami: Aw, c'mon! If I want to see my alma mater Kansas play in January, I have to pay 110 dollars?! For an upper-level ticket?! I can get the same atmosphere without leaving home -- and take several bags of Florida oranges in Columbus to a sports bar for much less than that.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We ran out of writing time, so The Blog of America is suspended today. Hopefully it will return Thursday.)

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1760 (+ 65, 3.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

11 DEC 07: HUSTLE TO FLOW

The Columbus City Manager responded Monday to the "REVELATION" shouted by Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer. Bible-reading residents must be baffled by this -- because usually Isaiah comes before Revelation.

Isaiah Hugley told WLTZ he's making changes, in the wake of news that the son of Columbus Councilor Gary Allen was never prosecuted for a positive cocaine test. The City Manager's main change is in.... a flow chart?! That's what he seemed to say. Better to draw new city lines, than have the Council point you toward an unemployment line.

The City Manager said from now on, any positive drug test for a city employee will be sent immediately to the Police Chief's office. At least the test will be sent there. The employee might be sent to the city Human Relations office, to pick up a final paycheck.

If you have yet to receive this "revelation," Zachary Allen tested positive for cocaine after a November 2006 crash. He was driving a Columbus emergency vehicle on a call, carrying what the newspaper calls "decontamination equipment." Apparently you don't have to apply it to yourself first.

The three-vehicle wreck led to Zachary Allen's positive cocaine test - and he resigned from Columbus Fire/EMS the next day. But somehow, an internal investigator wrote down the drug test as negative. Well, it WAS a negative moment for the entire department....

City Manager Isaiah Hugley assured reporters Monday there was NO cover-up of the Zachary Allen case, once it reached his office. Of course, that raises a question. How long did it take for the case to reach his office? Did it take 13 months, and a newspaper dropped in his driveway?

There's also the unanswered question of whether Zachary Allen ever will be prosecuted for the positive cocaine test. Is this another one case that District Attorney Gray Conger has kept on a "dead docket," like the son of the assistant police chief? [12 Jul] It's almost like as many cases are in his pocket, as on the docket....

A woman injured in Zachary Allen's fateful crash is suing the city of Columbus. The lawyers reportedly are proposing a pre-trial settlement of two million dollars. Suing Allen wouldn't do much good - because Allen now is charged with rape, and his attorney already is getting all his money.

Zachary Allen's attorney said Monday last fall's "cocaine crash" and this past September's rape charge are NOT connected. Really? Let's wait and see what sort of evidence is presented in the rape case. Prosecutors might argue there's a "base line" connecting them.

And as all this news swirls, Columbus Councilor Gary Allen remains silent about his son. Zachary Allen is an adult, so there might not be much his dad can do. But keep one thing in mind - a wild-driving son didn't stop Al Gore from claiming the Nobel Peace Prize Monday.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message comes in the wake of The Drive....

Dell McGee is a stand up guy..If you noticed in the Ledger last wk he gave credit to his team's success partly to the kids who transfered to Carver...I didn't see Charlie Flowers' team from Albany in the dome,did you?

I guess by asking for coaching help from Shaw makes his boys feel at home..

Oh, here we go again! I've also heard complaints that Carver's football coach stole players from Shaw, as well as Pacelli. But Carver High School may have a natural advantage for attracting bulky linemen - that seismometer in the building, which measures earthquakes.

Tickets went on sale Monday at Carver High School for Saturday's AAA final in Cairo. Carver has 3,000 seats to sell at the "Syrup Bowl" - and they'll be going to fans who want to celebrate Loachapoka's "Syrup-Soppin' Time" a couple of months late.

Now let's meander through other Monday headlines:

+ The first steel rods were set in place for the Kia assembly plant in West Point. WRBL reported the rods were shipped in from South Korea, over a six-week period. These plant managers must have been flown in from Atlanta -- because if they came through Birmingham, this shipment never would have happened.

+ In one of the most bizarre TV interviews of the year, a Smiths Station mother denied rumors she's hosting underage drinking parties. She explained a set of suggestive photos on Myspace shows how "looks can be deceiving." Hopefully she's putting that on the resumes of the teenagers she's hosted, as they apply for jobs.

(The mother actually said some pictures which appear to show teenagers with beer bottles are "that IBM Root Beer." I think the proper brand name is IBC - and slips like that aren't going to help her, if she's ever arrested.)

+ Former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in federal prison. He could be released in the summer of 2009 - which will make him the most rested and ready quarterback at any pro football training camp.

(You realize that Vick already has a way to get around the stigma of his dogfighting conviction, once he's allowed to play pro football again. He'll show up at training camp under the name Ron Mexico.)

+ The Atlanta Falcons played hours after the sentencing, and were overwhelmed by New Orleans 34-14. A few Falcons players wrote "Mike Vick" on the shirts under their uniforms. But sad to say, I've seen Washington play better with all those "21" stickers on their helmets.

(Saints tight end Eric Johnson dropped a touchdown pass in the first half - and amazingly, both the Falcons and Saints radio announcers brought up a similar drop by Jackie Smith in a Super Bowl years ago. There's a TV special just waiting to happen: "Greatest Goats of the Super Bowl," presented by the American Dairy Council.)

+ Instant Message to New Orleans Saints announcer Hokie Gajan: Are you kidding me? You actually do a radio ad for a portable bathroom company - and you actually say: "You've gotta have a place for them to go p**" ?! Don't try telling me that last word refers to the punter....

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: The tabloid TV show TMZ showed tape Monday of Britney Spears shoplifting. She stole a cigarette lighter from a Chevron gas station. What a shame - to see former hotties try to jump-start their heat in this way.

(A member of the paparazzi apparently returned to the gas station, and paid for the cigarette lighter in Spears's behalf. If you think about it, this is understandable. If Spears gets arrested for shoplifting and is held without bond, a lot of photographers will be broke and out of work.)

+ A new CBS News/New York Times poll showed Mike Huckabee surging among Republican primary voters. He's gone from four percent in October to 21 percent now - which proves the G.O.P. is a lot like the college football season, with all the top contenders stumbling all over themselves.

+ Al Gore accepted the Nobel Peace Prize, and indicated he would NOT serve in any future U.S. government other than his own. He's not only against global warming, he sounds downright ice-cold toward Democrats.

+ Tropical Storm Olga formed near Puerto Rico in the Caribbean. A tropical storm in December is unusual - so maybe Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue and his staff are holding secret prayer meetings for rain again.

+ For the first time in 50 years, a cargo train left South Korea for North Korea as part of a regular schedule. If it comes back to Seoul loaded with nuclear weapons, President Bush may give South Korea's entire government gold medals.

+ Civil rights activist Al Sharpton demanded the U.S. Justice Department take control of the Chicago police force. Sharpton warned if that doesn't happen, he'll tour the world preaching against Chicago's bid to host the 2016 Olympics -- and running into countless people in other countries who will confuse him with Don King.

+ A city-block long display of pennies was set up at New York's Rockefeller Center. The "penny harvest field" was collected by the city's children, and has about 100 million coins. So when is the penny-ante poker tournament, to determine who wins them?

+ NBC News reported on a strange case of Medicare fraud in south Florida. A motorized wheelchair valued at $5,000 was reported for claims over and over again -- and crooks wound up taking five million dollars from it. They apparently moved on, after pulling their own sort of a "Scooter Store."

+ The rock band Led Zeppelin announced plans for a reunion concert. And some rock fans thought all the musicians had climbed that "Stairway to Heaven" by now....

+ A web site in Minneapolis is selling loft homes in the city's historic "Cream of Wheat Building." This is one place where you'd better be careful not to spill any water on the floor....

+ An 83-year-old man in Traverse City, Michigan received a scare, when a live 25-pound turkey crashed through his bedroom window. I never thought about this before - how turkeys and geese can become suicidal, from all the holiday stories depicting them getting eaten.

+ Denver Broncos punter Todd Sauerbrun was charged with assault. Now hold on here - a punter?! They're not supposed to go around assaulting people. They might kick criminals about 15 yards down an alley, but that's it.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: The latest e-mail in the Cascade Hills controversy....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1695 (- 79, 4.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

for 10 DEC 07: MAY I SEE THE BILL?

Everything seems to be settled, right? The city and school district worked out details of how to use the land around the main Columbus library, right? And the longer we're in a drought, the less likely we are to have really "green" space.

Well, maybe things are not completely settled. One of the library greenspace supporters has been asking Muscogee County School District officials how much they spent on legal fees in the dispute. I suppose this could be designed to start a new argument - that every dollar spent on attorneys could have been invested in a nice shrub.

Some of the financial documents provided by the Muscogee County School District have been passed along to us. One shows the Hatcher Stubbs law firm billed the district for more than $60,400 since July 31, simply on the library land case. That's about $800 for each page of the Education Park Coalition's lawsuit [30 Jul] - making me think those striking TV writers are writing the wrong things.

(These documents were provided by the school district's attorneys under the "Open Records Act." Imagine if oil companies had to do this sort of thing - the conspiracy theories about high prices might end once and for all.)

The financial breakdown from Hatcher Stubbs shows the Muscogee County Schools were charged for the library land case as recently as November 28. I'm not sure what that near-1,200 dollar bill is about. I could have bought Thanksgiving dinner for a few people for much less than that.

The documents even give a breakdown of how many hours were spent on the library land case. Eight attorneys at the Hatcher Stubbs firm spent almost 375 hours handling it - which is more than nine 40-hour work weeks. And then people wonder why some cases are postponed in court over and over again....

Where does the money go, when attorneys handle a case like this? The financial documents even reveal that, in amazing detail....

+ Internet searching: $180 for two hours. Tell your boss about that one, the next time you're asked to book an airline flight.

+ Travel: 2.1 hours, costing $219. Premium unleaded, I presume.

+ E-mail "to" and "from," combined: $825 for five hours. That free InBox I started with Yahoo 11 years ago looks smarter all the time.

The bill from the Hatcher Stubbs firm was addressed at a Muscogee County School Board meeting last week. The school district will pay half, while the regional library system will pay half. There apparently was no negotiation over the final sum. For instance, if the school board can prove the travel was by Lexus and not limousine....

But now that we've seen the legal bill for the Muscogee County School District in the library land case, there's an obvious next question. How much has the Education Park Coalition spent on ITS attorneys? Where are the bills on the other side? Might all this turn into a "Consumer Watch" hunt for the least expensive lawyers in Columbus?

And maybe there's a lesson here for ME. I need to go into the web-searching business. Simply e-mail me (for a small "handling charge," of course), and I'll gladly search the Internet for you. The rates will be reasonable. Really. Hey, compared to that downtown law firm, I might only charge you 50 bucks an hour.

And while we wait for that first customer at Burkard's Browsing Barn and Blog, we'll review an unusually busy Sunday in the news:

+ The high temperature in Columbus tied a record, at 77 degrees F. It was warm enough for me to take off my T-shirt in the late afternoon - to relive the old TV series, "77 Sunset Strip."

+ Which Columbus congregation is preparing to mail 90,000 invitations to a series of meetings on the creation-evolution debate? Does this group risk having a hall filled with scientists?

+ The Ledger-Enquirer had a front-page scoop, reporting the son of Columbus Councilor Gary Allen never was prosecuted for a positive cocaine test after a crash last fall. But what struck me was the downright-tabloid banner headline on page one: "REVELATION". Which Bible prophecy did the wreck of a city vehicle fulfill?

(New York tabloid editors could have done better than this headline -- maybe with something convicting like "Zach the Sniffer.")

+ The fourth annual Kenneth Walker memorial service was held at St. Mary's Road United Methodist Church. Walker supporters say yet another motion was filed in court last week, seeking a new examination of his death. But if Greta Von Susteren and Nancy Grace haven't picked up their cause after four years, it might be time to let it go.

+ The RiverCenter announced it's adding a second Jerry Seinfeld show in March, due to popular demand. I assume the tickets will be marked A and Bee....

+ Carver High School football coach Dell McGee admitted he's getting guidance from Shaw High's staff, in preparation for next weekend's AAA final in Cairo. So if the Tiger players are asked to put on boxing gloves at practice today, that's where the idea came from.

+ The Sugar Bowl announced 4,000 more tickets will be made available to Georgia fans, because Hawaii can't sell its full allotment. I'm not sure this is a matter of the long flight from Honolulu to the game. It could be all the cold-weather clothing Hawaii fans would have to buy, while staying in New Orleans.

(The governors of Georgia and Hawaii are making a fruit-flavored bet on the Sugar Bowl. Georgia's governor is offering peaches. Hawaii's governor is offering pineapples. And if the teams played at the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona, either one would have to be made into salsa.)

+ Instant Message to Abby in the Jay Suzuki infomercials: I'm sorry - am I supposed to focus on the cars? I'm too busy admiring you. What is YOUR monthly payment?

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: A march in Hollywood Sunday called on both sides to settle the Writers' Guild strike. One marcher said restaurants which serve Hollywood studios are starting to close. Maybe the TV networks can make up for this by organizing prime-time sumo wrestling tournaments.

+ An "Oprah Winfrey Presents" movie was shown on ABC. After all the speeches she made over the weekend, I think the film's title was "For One More Vote."

+ No wait - that was Oprah Winfrey in South Carolina, campaigning again for presidential candidate Barack Obama. Winfrey urged voters to "step out of the box." Or in her case, outside the Beverly Hills mansion....

+ This Monday is a big day for two people. Albert Gore receives the Nobel Peace Prize. Michael Vick learns his prison sentence. And you can tell a lot about your friends and neighbors, by which event they consider more important.

The former Vice President is in Norway to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. If you see him walking around Oslo in a beach shirt and sandals, you'll know global warming really is a problem.

(Someone again asked Al Gore if he plans to run for president. He answered he has no plans to do so. And at this point, he's running out of talk show hosts to endorse him.)

+ Meanwhile, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick will be sentenced for his role in a dogfighting ring. Colleagues in the case have received more than a year in prison -- but as we all know, Vick has found a way to scramble away from serious trouble for years.

+ New England advanced to 13-0 on the football season by pasting Pittsburgh 34-13. Steeler safety Anthony Smith had guaranteed a win over the Patriots - which makes me wonder how much Joe Namath was drinking when he made HIS famous guarantee almost 40 years ago.

+ Someone conducted a survey of department store and shopping mall Santa Claus actors - and found the average one weighs 256 pounds. [True/ABC News] Their names are being sent to the National Football League office, for possible second jobs during the playoffs as fill-in linebackers.

+ The Salvation Army announced it needs 5,000 volunteers to sort toys, and remove the ones which are unsafe for children. If you tickle Elmo and his eyes roll around the back of his head, that's a clue....

Today's main item was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise here or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1774 (+ 36, 2.1%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

9 DEC 07: THE DRIVE

"We need a miracle." So said WOKS play-by-play announcer Cliff Rutledge, late in the third quarter of the Carver-Chamblee football game. It wasn't simply because Chamblee had scored to take a 24-6 lead. The broadcast line sounded at times like Rutledge was being waterboarded.

But if you still haven't heard, Cliff Rutledge received his miracle. Carver scored 20 points in the last six minutes to win the Georgia AAA semifinal - including the best two-minute drive I've probably ever seen in high school football. In fact, it might go down as the best two-minute drive in the Georgia Dome since Michael Vick was indicted.

With apologies to the National Football League, John Elway and the Denver Broncos, "The Drive" by Carver capped the biggest comeback in local sports history since the "Phenix City rises from the ashes" Little Leaguers in 1998. It might even inspire the Muscogee County School Board members who voted for the administration building, in their next election.

(Don't worry, Melissa Thomas - I'm resisting the urge to call it The Ultimate Drive. You already claimed that title, for your BMW cancer fundraiser.)

Chamblee charged from a 10-6 halftime to a 24-6 third-quarter lead by running an old-fashioned wishbone offense. That worked well and was quite trendy in college football during the 1970s and 1980s - but the college game has reached the point where I'm wondering if there's a national running back shortage.

Cliff Rutledge of WOKS admitted he was "starting to lose confidence" in Carver after the score reached 24-6. But then he started coaching "the good guys" (his words) from the press box. "Go for the ball, go for the ball," he said to the defense at one point. They didn't get the ball - so the audio inside the Georgia Dome must have been lousy, too.

But once Carver regained the ball in the fourth quarter, amazing things happened. First came a touchdown to cut the Chamblee lead to 24-12. Then the Tigers recovered an.... I'm sorry, I don't like calling it an "onside kick," because all legal kickoffs are onside. How about a "strawberry short-kick?"

Carver scored again after gaining the short-kick, and the score was 24-20. But then Chamblee pulled a surprise, gaining a first down on a fake punt. These high school actors need to stick to the one-act play tournament....

But the Carver defense stopped Chamblee again, to force a real punt. And with 2:04 to play, The Drive began. It was time for Tiger quarterback DeRon Furr to shine - and as the Humane Society would tell you, shiny Furr is always a sign of good health.

I didn't realize until the Friday telecast that DeRon Furr actually plays both offense and defense for Carver. Many players still do this in high school football. I suspect a few players at Pacelli actually are triple threats - and play in the band at halftime, too.

Which reminds me: what's with the grumbling that Carver High School "stole" DeRon Furr from Pacelli? I grew up in a city where the complaints went in the opposite direction - and Catholic schools allegedly offered money to take public school players. If money was the issue, shouldn't Furr be playing at Northside?

But I digress: DeRon Furr led Carver steadily downfield in The Drive. One key play was a fourth-down pass completion to receiver/buddy Jarmon Fortson. The officials let so much bumping go on Carver's passes that I almost thought I was watching weekend shoppers at Wal-Mart.

As the passes flew during The Drive, a GPB announcer declared on television: "Mr. Furr can fire the ol' tater." First of all, I thought a football was a pigskin. Second of all, that's a line I'd expect Cliff Rutledge to say on radio.

Carver reached the Chamblee 9 with less than 40 seconds left - and then DeRon Furr took matters into his own hands even more. He ran the ball twice, scoring the winning touchdown with no time outs and only ten seconds left. It looked for a moment like an offensive lineman pushed Furr across the goal line - but Furr's legs had The Drive as well.

After The Drive was over and the amazing miracle complete, some Carver players invoked the "D" word. That's destiny, friends - I didn't hear any of the teenagers cursing.

DeRon Furr was shown in post-game interviews with numbers painted under his eyes. I understood the "706" under the right eye as the Columbus area code. But the "6-34" under the left eye baffles me. Was that Carver's four-year record before he became quarterback?

How interesting is it that Carver will meet Cairo in next Saturday's AAA state finals? After the brawl on the field at Kinnett Stadium when Cairo beat Shaw, Carver can take vengeance for the entire town....

Cairo advanced to the AAA finals Saturday by knocking off North Hall 42-21. You have to give them credit for one of the most distinctive high school nicknames in the country - the Cairo Syrupmakers. This week, it makes me glad my pancake syrup is Log Cabin.

Now for some closing thoughts from the weekend when The Drive made Columbus sports history:

+ A WOKS announcer reminded me that some people call Chamblee "Cham-bodia." That phrase was coined by Atlanta radio announcers - white guys on talk radio stations, who did not seem to consider it a compliment.

+ Columbus's own D.J. Jones helped broadcast two weekend games on GPB. But he missed the second half of Carver-Chamblee, because he was in a truck preparing for other games. C'mon, D.J. - you're the man who used to tell WRBL viewers, "Keep your eye on the ball."

+ The class A finals will match Wilcox County against Emanuel County Institute. Will Wilcox County residents will refuse to sing, "O Come O Come Emanuel" in church today?

+ Instant Message to Auburn University quarterback Kodie Burns: Did you see what I saw? You'd better be impressive in spring drills - or come August, the Furr is going to fly....

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message actually reached us before we posted Friday's items....

Sir Richard:

I guess WRBL is truly "on our side" They followed their noses to"Hurt'sboro" and sniffed out the story of The Curbside Trash. It wasn't a mystery (the only mystery - the whereabouts of the "mare") but it did have a surprise ending - the garbage sorta got picked up. There's still a dumpster that has to be emptied by Monday - or the State of Alabama will step in to enforce its removal.

I have a couple of other items that might interest you - but I will hold them until they are fully hatched!!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

If WRBL really was on the Constable's side, shouldn't it have shown the stacks of trash during the Wednesday night news? It wasn't shown until Thursday night, after the garbage was collected - almost as if the tape was delivered to Columbus by that broken-down patrol car.

Now for other news of note from a wonderful December weekend:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was a splendid 75 degrees F. You readers up north can go ahead and throw your snowballs in frustration - they'll melt.

+ My latest Columbus Water Works bill came in the mail - and the insert shows a day-by-day breakdown of city water usage. For some reason, there's a spike in total usage every Tuesday. [True] How many pitchers of water does Columbus Council need for its meetings?

(The back of the insert suggests several ways to save water. One of them is: "Shorten your shower by one minute." If you only run cold water in the winter, not only will your showers be much shorter - but your natural gas bill probably will go down as well.)

+ A Peachtree Mall manager told the evening news there's closed-circuit TV installed both inside and outside the building. In his words: "Santa isn't the only one watching whether you're naughty or nice." Oh please - as if a fake guy in a red suit is fast enough to run outside the mall on his break?!

+ Fort Benning and NeighborWorks Columbus announced a new million-dollar program to help military families buy homes. So where is the effort to help homeless veterans get one? They'd be happy simply to have "Habitat for Humanity" provide the tools for cubicles under a bridge.

+ Columbus State University arranged a historic tour by bus to Tuskegee. WRBL reported this tour was free - which is amazing, because the NAACP would have charged at least ten dollars.

+ The "Car Guys" on WLTZ reported from the Great Georgia Air Show in Peachtree City. Now hold on here - the Car Guys are at an air show?! But then again, Port Columbus has staged land battles of the Civil War....

+ A new statue of Ray Charles was unveiled in his home town of Albany. The statue is lighted and revolves - but the local visitors' bureau made sure it did NOT include tape of the song, "Hit the Road Jack."

+ Paul Johnson was named the new head football coach at Georgia Tech. Johnson comes to Atlanta from Navy -- giving radio stations in this army town yet another reason not to air Tech games.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Talks to settle the Writers' Guild strike have collapsed, so there's still no contract after five weeks. My chances of getting discovered by Lorne Michaels of "Saturday Night Live" are improving every day....

+ Oprah Winfrey traveled to Iowa, to make a presidential campaign endorsement for Barack Obama. Obama should be thankful Winfrey stuck to her script. She could have promised if Obama was elected, everyone would get a car.

(Oprah Winfrey told a massive audience in Des Moines: "I'm not here to tell you how to think. I'm here to tell you TO think." This is the difference between TV and radio talk show hosts. Rush Limbaugh once said he was telling his audience how to think - and that's why very few opponents call his show.)

+ Hillary Rodham Clinton made a campaign appearance in South Carolina with her daughter and her mother. Or as some other Democratic candidates called it under their breaths: "The Women's Murder Club."

+ Prosecutors in Aruba hinted they might abandon the Natalee Holloway investigation in January. This would clear the way for an important phone call to Miami in February - as Joran van der Sloot seeks O.J. Simpson's help in writing a tell-all book.

+ Greenpeace organized marches in dozens of cities around the world, against global warming. Some children put on costumes to look like the sun - and hopefully they recycled ones used in TV weather reports about 50 years ago.

+ A real estate firm organized a contest, and declared a home in Sarasota, Florida is the ugliest house in the country. You know a home is ugly when not even cockroaches want to live there....

+ MSNBC aired new commercials promoting "Countdown" with Keith Olbermann - only the ads show an endorsement from the "San Franciso Chronicle." [True!] Has Olbermann done one of those "special comments" blaming President Bush for the poor quality of U.S. education?

+ Barry Bonds pleaded NOT guilty to perjury charges, stemming from a steroid investigation. This trial could change years of U.S. jurisprudence. Prosecutors can pull out a pair of Bonds's old shoes before he gained two sizes in his home run spurt - then tell the jury: "If it doesn't fit, you must convict."

+ Florida quarterback Tim Tebow won college football's Heisman Trophy. He ran and threw for so many touchdowns this season that Gator fans have changed the name of their TV recording system from TiVo to.... well, you know....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1738 (- 138, 7.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Friday, December 07, 2007

7 DEC 07: FURR-OCIOUS

It's only a half-day at school, for students at Carver High -- and the football team already left town Thursday. Somewhere in Columbus, State Senator Seth Harp must be shaking his head in frustration....

The schedule changes are due to Carver High School playing in the Georgia AAA football semifinals at the Georgia Dome. The Tigers made it to Atlanta for the second year in a row - which is more than some people are giving Falcons coach Bobby Petrino right now.

Carver's football team is unbeaten, and that meant beating some quality teams. The Tigers won a showdown with LaGrange, and got even for last year's playoff loss to Shaw. About its only setback was NOT permanently ruining the morale of Spencer's team.

Carver is led into the semifinals by two senior stars on offense. One is quarterback DeRon Furr. It's only fitting that someone named Furr plays for the Tigers. If he played for Jordan, a "Furr Jacket" might inspire animal rights protests.

Another senior star for Carver is wide receiver Jarmon Fortson. Both Furr and Fortson are committed to play college football at Auburn - so hopefully no one will mind if fans rename U.S. 280 Fortson Road.

Carver has dominated the competition this season, with only two teams coming as close as nine points. Several wins have been by 35 points or more. I keep waiting for someone to accuse Coach Dell McGee of acting like Bill Belicheck, and running up the score....

Carver is coming off its closest test, a 14-7 quarterfinal win last Friday night over Carrollton. The Tigers hurt themselves by picking up 13 penalties for 107 yards. If they keep bringing that many yellow flags, Carver might pick up YellaWood as a home game sponsor.

There's a sign outside the Carver High School locker room which tells the team: "Be a hammer, not a nail." If I played football, this sign would confuse me. Aren't defensive players praised for "nailing" their opponents with a tackle?

Carver's competition today comes from Chamblee High School. As a former metro Atlanta resident, I can tell you Chamblee is a nondescript suburb north of Interstate 285 - where the people are probably thankful former Rep. Cynthia McKinney lived next door in Dunwoody.

The Georgia High School Association had some mercy on Carver and its fans this year. The kickoff time at the Georgia Dome is 3:00 p.m. ET, as opposed to last year's 9:00 a.m. game against Shaw. So students at other high schools will only have to skip the last hour of classes, and not the entire day....

E-MAIL UPDATE: I planned to make some calls on this one before posting it, but a TV station has forced my hand....

Sir Richard:

Congrats on your coverage in the Ledger/Enquirer! First it was Texas - and now our leading newspaper. Where will it ever stop?

Just thought I would bring you up to speed on a couple of things. First; McVay has dodged the bullet until January - no surprise.

Next, I'm told by a reliable source (you better check it out) that the State of Alabama has put enough pressure on the "boys" at the Russell County Health Department - that they have given "Hurt'sboro" seven days to correct the garbage mess or face the music in court.

I also have received solid information that ADEM has lost their patience with both the city and the "Hurt'sboro" Water Board! They want something done about possible hazardous materials by 12/10/07 or there will be fines and court proceedings.

I don't think its going to be too festive during the holidays here in "Hurt'sboro" this year. The water board and "mare" are squabbling over the Xmas lights and no one has made any plans for the annual Christmas parade. It's just as well - we do not have a reliable police car or uniformed officer to flash lights and blow a siren to let everyone know that our very own "grinch" has ruined Christmas!!

The mess in "Hurt'sboro" has failed to dampen my enthusiasm - I and other Phenix City Exchange Club members will be handing out small flags at the Bi-City Parade on Saturday!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

MORE TO COME!!!

WRBL reported Thursday night the Constable is correct, when it comes to Hurtsboro trash. The city removed a reported three-week backlog from the streets, after a warning from county Health officials. At least it's December - when not even mosquitos are likely to hold big conventions.

The Hurtsboro City Clerk explained the garbage was not collected because the city trash truck had mechanical problems again. This also happened last spring [21 May] - and let's face it, pushing a big truck like that to Phenix City for repairs can take awhile.

During our Thanksgiving week trip to Hurtsboro, we noticed an auto parts store on Main Street. Perhaps that's where the city gets the parts to fix the garbage truck. And if the problem is rust, Perry Hardware seemed to have plenty of paint to cover that up.

As for the "news items" from the Constable, Hurtsboro City Council member Mae Dell McVay indeed had her trial on two criminal counts delayed. It was scheduled for this week, but now is set for 8 January. So McVay has time to ask other people in Hurtsboro to sell her family a cheap used car....

A check of the Alabama Department of Environmental Management Thursday night found a new list of more than 3,000 companies across Alabama on an "incident list." A few Hurtsboro locations were listed, such as the Georgia Pacific wood yard and A.B. Carroll Lumber. But the Water Board didn't show up there - so did it use a fire extinguisher to put out a wood fire or something?

If you've been wondering who Constable Schweiger is, it looks like Saturday's Bi-City parade will be a place to find out. I'd suggest looking for someone wearing a Western hat - or if that doesn't work, mention Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoe's name and see who angrily responds.

Now let's wave the yellow caution flag, and slow down to check some Thursday news headlines:

+ Two church buildings in the Beallwood neighborhood of Columbus reported they've been robbed multiple times in the last week. Have these congregations listened to religious radio? Maybe they need to get a "hedge of protection" - one reinforced with razor-wire.

+ The owner of Victory Pawn Shop told the evening news "thugs" have robbed his fire-damaged business three times in recent weeks as well. So relying on that "wooden Indian" outside as a scarecrow isn't working, either.

+ WLTZ reported Alabama state officials consider Stadium Drive in Phenix City a "problematic area," for speeding and drunk driving. I never would have guessed Phenix City Central football fans would have wild tailgate parties....

+ A local survivor of the Pearl Harbor attack 66 years ago today spoke with WLTZ. Dixie Harris said he didn't realize what was happening on that day in 1941, until he saw "red meatballs on the wings...." Old soldiers never die - and some old animosities might not, either.

+ The Atlanta Falcons announced Chris Redman will start at quarterback Monday night, against New Orleans. One year ago, Redman was out of pro football and selling insurance. Hopefully he bought some for himself - because the Saints are likely to blitz him often.

+ The departure of Andruw Jones from Atlanta baseball became official, as he signed a two-year contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Jones hit .222 this past season, yet he received a 36-million dollar contract - AND he'll move to Los Angeles?! We may have found a reality show version of "The Beverly Hillbillies."

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Contract talks to end the Writers' Guild strike (and end this fill-in monologue) reportedly are showing "some movement." Of course, that could mean the two sides stood up and yelled in each others' noses....

+ Presidential candidate Mitt Romney gave what he called a "major address" on religion and politics. If elected, he promises NOT to take orders from any religious leader. That's too bad, because plenty of self-proclaimed prophets have the perfect plan to save our country from destruction.

(Some conservatives say Mitt Romney attends a cult, by being Mormon. I don't agree with everything that denomination teaches -- but wait a minute. If the Latter-Day Saints really are all the same, how could a Republican like Mitt Romney and Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid both be members? Wouldn't one of them have been disfellowshipped by now?)

+ CBS News anchor Katie Couric continued a series of "primary questions" for all the presidential candidates. Thursday's question was: "Other than your family, what do you fear losing most?" Didn't President Roosevelt settle this "freedom from fear" stuff about 70 years ago?

+ The U.S. House approved an energy bill, which requires automakers to improve their overall fuel efficiency by 2020. It's either that, or develop an engine which runs on melted water from polar ice caps.

+ Toyota unveiled a new human-ish robot in Tokyo, which can play classical music on the violin. Forget about that - have the robot drive a Toyota for me, and buy my groceries.

+ Bloomberg Business News reports Staples is interested in taking over Office Depot. There's only one problem at this point - the "easy button" doesn't seem to work for mergers.

+ The Grammy Award nominations were announced, with eight for hip-hop star Kanye West. West will compete for Album of the Year against jazz legend Herbie Hancock and country music veteran Vince Gill - so this may come down to which person's music can make the most toes tap.

+ "Posh Spice" Victoria Beckham revealed to "Elle" magazine that she sleeps naked with her husband. So that appearance at the Victoria's Secret fashion show was a classic sell-out....

+ Actor Kiefer Sutherland reported to jail, to serve a 48-day sentence. But please don't be concerned. Under sentencing rules for Hollywood stars, he probably has cameras watching him do a reality-show version of "24" - and he should be out by midday today.

+ The NBC series 'ER" presented its 300^th episode. That's enough shows to call the cable TV version "Extended Reruns."

+ New Jersey Nets basketball star Jason Kidd declared he took a "paid sick day" Wednesday, due to a migraine headache. This does mean LeBron James and Kobe Bryant will get extra money, for playing on December 25?

+ Jim Grobe announced he'll remain head football coach at Wake Forest, becoming the latest candidate to spurn the University of Arkansas. The continuous rumors about who will coach the Hogs are starting to smell like so much.... well, you can probably guess....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1876 (+ 66, 3.6%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

for 6 DEC 07: PROTECT THIS JUNK

Before we learned about Wednesday's sad news in Omaha, we received answers about another shooting case - one that some people suspect the news media have been covering up. But I'm not sure there's really a big cover-up here. To borrow a phrase, a shooting on the hand isn't worth a news conference by a Bush.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: A Talbot County Sheriff's officer told your blog Wednesday the recent shooting at a Box Springs junkyard only left a man shot in the hand -- and that man was a would-be burglar. In Saudi Arabia, this would be considered merciful. They chop off the hands of thieves there....

Deputy Charlie Wesley says David Mathis was shot during November, as he attempted to steal junkyard items. Wesley did not recall exactly when in November it happened - and when we talked, he was on his cell phone getting his oil changed. So probing too deeply could have led to grease stains on evidence.

Deputy Charlie Wesley told me David Mathis wound up at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. But he said it was because Mathis "was kicked out of The Medical Center.... kicked out of Saint Francis," for being "belligerent." Well, how ARE you supposed to fill out all that paperwork when you've been shot in the hand?

The deputy says it's not clear whether the owner of the Box Springs junkyard or an employee shot David Mathis. But either way, the Sheriff's Department has decided NOT to press charges against them -- while it's charging Mathis with burglary. You can almost feel a new public service campaign starting here: "Cops Against Copper Theft."

You'll recall we received two e-mail tips about this shooting in the last ten days [27 Nov/2 Dec]. One said the junkyard owner is a former Talbot County commissioner. I've also read online the owner's name is a "Mr. Sizemore" - but then again, that report also claimed David Mathis was shot twice in the back.

Do a Google search for "Talbot County" and "Sizemore," and you actually will find details of a shooting - but from a long time ago. A Henry Sizemore who lived "just west of Box Springs" shot and killed a man in April 1899. I thought those historical reenactments in the South only involved Civil War battles.

But I digress: some people in Talbot County apparently think the Sheriff did a favor to a former county commissioner, by not filing charges of shooting David Mathis. But I suspect other people would say the sheriff did more than that -- he did every private property owner a favor. Now they don't have to apologize for sleeping with guns under their pillows.

The decision by the Talbot County Sheriff admittedly runs counter to what other authorities do in this area. Take the case of Phenix City grocery store owner Don Ford, who was charged with shooting an attempted robber. Ford wound up in poor health, lost his business - and the prosecutors that some said persecuted the wrong man still have their jobs.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION returns after a long absence, to hear from you about this. Should the Box Springs junkyard owner be charged, for the shooting of a possible burglar on the hand? Or should the junkyard staff be praised, for being excellent shots?

E-MAIL UPDATE: One reader seems less concerned about the Ledger-Enquirer's news content, than with other things....

My morning paper had 11 of the same Kodak sale papers..Whew,poor paperman having to deliver a ton of unwanted inserts...So,the person who folds the Sunday TV guide and does not know how to match the corners also can't count on Wednesday...Probably a computer with a paper folding and counting virus..

My sympathies to you - but look at this another way. Maybe someone close wants you to buy them a new digital camera.

I've wondered why newspapers (in Columbus and other cities) sometimes give you two or three copies of some circulars. But then again, I also wondered Wednesday why they're called "circulars" when most of them are square-shaped or rectangular.

There are times when multiple inserts can be a good thing. Ask anyone who clips coupons from the Sunday papers - the people still in mourning because the Atlanta newspaper isn't available in Columbus anymore, with coupon sections that are much better.

Wash that newsprint off your hands now, before you review other Wednesday headlines:

+ Former Columbus police officer Larry Lightning pleaded guilty to charges of possessing crack cocaine. He faces at least five years in federal prison - where "Lightning trackers" may give him a different sort of storm.

+ Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell told the Redneckin blog his department currently has no Tasers, and has no plans to buy any. His officers still can stun people the old-fashioned way - by shuffling their feet, to create static electricity.

+ Russell County Commissioner Peggy Martin recovered from surgery, after she was bitten by a Rottweiler. It's one thing to be suspicious of politicians - but please don't teach your dogs to follow your example.

+ WLTZ visited newly board-certified chemistry teacher Chris Spraggins at Columbus High School. His classroom includes the periodic table of the elements - on a toilet seat! Hopefully his students haven't felt inspired (ahem) to bring samples from home for analysis....

+ Auburn University finalized a new contract with head football coach Tommy Tuberville. It includes a progressive salary increase -- enough to match Alabama's Nick Saban, in betting on the outcome of the Iron Bowl.

(The evening news also showed Tommy Tuberville promoting the upcoming Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta, by standing next to a cow mascot. Did Tuberville dare bring up the fact that he does commercials for Ziegler luncheon meats?)

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: First daughter Jenna Bush visited the Ellen DeGeneres Show - and on a dare, she phoned her parents at the White House in the middle of the program. If a Democrat was in the White House, things would have been different. That President would have asked Ellen why she's a union-buster, during the Writers' Guild strike.

+ President Bush refused to back down on Iran, saying the Tehran government needs to "come clean" on its nuclear program. That's funny - Democrats in Congress want Mr. Bush to come clean, on when he decided the program wasn't making nuclear weapons.

+ King Bhumibol of Thailand marked his 80^th birthday. He's been on the throne 61 years - staging a longevity race with Queen Elizabeth that makes "Survivor" challenges look exciting.

+ The U.S. Postal Service announced it will release a postage stamp showing Frank Sinatra. Sinatra probably wanted that stamp released while he was alive - but under the rules, he actually could NOT sing he did that "My Way."

+ Brad Pitt admitted in an interview that acting is becoming "less a focus" for him. If I had Angelina Jolie as the main woman in my life, I'd probably say the same thing....

+ Maggie Rodriguez was named a co-host of the "CBS Early Show," and declared it her "dream job." If she thinks she'll ever have more viewers than NBC's Today Show, she's really dreaming....

+ Monday night's football thriller between New England and Baltimore was the highest-rated program in cable television history. How will Sponge-Bob Square Pants top this - by having Victoria's Secret models swim with him?

+ The four finalists were named for college football's Heisman Trophy. But the way this season has gone, the award probably will be given Saturday night to someone who isn't on the list.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We posted this entry early because of our Blog Exclusive story. Friday's entry should be visible here between 8:00-8:30 a.m. ET.)

Today's main entry was the result of blog readers' tips. To offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation, advertise here or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1810 (+ 53, 3.0%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

5 DEC 07: HARP'S ON IT

It was supposed to be a day for dreaming - for preparing goals for next year's Georgia legislative session. But one local lawmaker had other ideas Tuesday. He decided to speak out about the Muscogee County School District - and if he had anything nice to say about the Carver High School football team, it didn't make the evening news.

State Senator Seth Harp took the school board to task, during the annual "legislative luncheon" at the Columbus Chamber of Commerce. He said the board should reconsider plans for a $27 million administration building. Of all the times to bring this up! The old Sears automotive center is almost torn down.

Seth Harp explained the planned school administration building is receiving criticism at the state and federal education levels. I'm tempted to say it's from career politicians who are a little jealous....

But Seth Harp didn't put it that way. He says it's going to be hard to lobby for extra money for Muscogee County Schools, when so many millions are set aside for an administration building. It's as if he's saying: BRAC first, bric-a-brac second.

Seth Harp wondered aloud how the Muscogee County School Board can justify spending so much on an administration building, when it couldn't afford textbooks for a while. Hmmmm - how many accounting textbooks had to be replaced?

Muscogee County school spokesperson Valerie Fuller released a reply statement to WRBL. She explained the new administration building is needed because district staff currently works in four different buildings. So? Aflac and Synovus would consider that a sign of progress....

But Seth Harp may have a point here. Superintendent John Phillips has made numerous trips to Washington, asking for federal money to help Muscogee County Schools prepare for base realignment. Could that expensive administration building be the reason no money has come yet? Would it help if space was added for a PeachCare clinic?

Scoffers might note Seth Harp's big issue at the last Georgia General Assembly session had little to do with education. It was his failed effort to legalize Sunday liquor sales at grocery and convenience stores. At least, I never heard him explain how the tax money from every six-pack of beer would help a child learn.

The fire of Seth Harp's comments overrode anything else that happened at the legislative luncheon. As I write this, I don't know what the city's priorities are for next year's Georgia legislature. Maybe the Chamber of Commerce found a new top goal - to find a challenger for someone to run against Harp in the next election.

Now a quick check of other Tuesday news:

+ WLTZ reported Dr. Robert Wright is making a record million-dollar donation to Columbus Technical College. The money will be used to build the new health sciences building on River Road. I guess it wouldn't have looked right for Golden Donuts down the street to make that donation.

+ Columbus Council heard complaints from some residents of the Forest Park neighborhood. They fear Green Acres cemetery will use a proposed new road to clear land for more burial space. These residents must not have enjoyed the movie "A View to a Kill."

(Would you be upset if your home was next to a cemetery? I can understand why the John B. Amos Cancer Center has windows facing the opposite way from Linwood Cemetery. But plenty of small churches across the South have graveyards next to their buildings - and worshipers actually hope overturned gravestones will crash into their cars someday.)

+ Police in Florence, Alabama reported a church received a pizza delivery with marijuana mixed in. I have only one question about this - was it "veggie pizza" or not?

+ Atlanta Falcons coach Bobby Petrino refused to name a starting quarterback for Sunday's game against New Orleans. At this point in the season, there's only one way to get people interested in this -- and have Glenn Burns draw the starter's name during a Georgia Lottery broadcast.

+ Basketball's Philadelphia 76ers fired general manager Billy King, one day after the Atlanta Hawks won there for the first time in four years. I'm not sure if this is a sign the Hawks finally are improving - or if the Sixers' ownership considered it the ultimate insult.

+ Instant Message to WLTZ News: OK, that was a nice "exclusive" you had on Robert Wright's big donation. But then you show pictures from an "iron chef" competition which occurred two weeks ago?! Is this news like some FM radio stations - with "today's hits, and the best old school?"

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: "Last Call" with Carson Daly returned to first-run programs early Tuesday, defying the Writers' Guild strike. Daly said it came after an ultimatum from NBC - which is interesting, because some of us would enjoy watching "Poker After Dark" a little earlier.

+ NBC announced it's returning "Law and Order" to Wednesday nights in January, with all-new episodes. It was run off from that time slot by the success of "CSI: New York" -- so maybe this time, Prosecutor McCoy's office will be equipped with microscopes.

+ President Bush defended his concern about Iran's nuclear potential. He told a White House news conference Iran will be dangerous, "if they have the knowledge to develop a nuclear weapon." Maybe the answer isn't a military invasion -- it's a secret mission to stop Iranian computers from doing Google searches.

(A National Public Radio reporter kept a count, and said President Bush described Iran as a "danger" at least 14 times. Some Democrats wish he had also counted how many times the President mispronounced "nuclear.")

+ Commanding General David Petraeus told National Public Radio when it comes to achieving peace in Iraq, "you can't end a conflict by shooting everybody...." Well, of course not. Conservatives would recommend we learn a lesson of history - and drop atomic bombs instead.

+ A court in Naples, Italy ordered Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Tweety Bird to appear Friday at a counterfeiting trial. [True/Mail.com] The case involves fraudulent use of cartoon images - so what will Tweety's testimony be? "I tawt I taw a wook-awike. And I DID! I did tee a wook-awike!"

+ An executive with Bank of America told a Senate hearing when banks increase their credit card interest rates, people tend to make larger payments. Some Senators were skeptical - but think of it this way. The closer you come to the electric chair, the more likely you are to admit the crime.

(Some Senators raised a fuss because credit card customers who pay on time are being assigned higher interest rates. But if the "on-timers" pay off their balance in full, what's the problem? It's like telling a vegetarian he's now limited to only one meat portion a day.)

+ The annual "Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" telecast was marred by accusations that the company buys clothing from workers in sweatshops. The workers in Jordan reportedly are paid 75 cents an hour -- so while they aren't paid much, at least their lingerie doesn't cover much.

+ Yahoo reported Britney Spears has been the number-one search topic on its web site this year. And why not? She does something new and outlandish almost every day - while Senator Larry Craig does that only about once a month.

+ Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre was named Sports Illustrated's "Sportsman of the Year." So how many members of the staff dared to nominate Michael Vick?

+ Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry had his suspension for a drug violation revoked. Henry claimed he flunked a National Football League marijuana test because of second-hand smoke. Then again, everything he does is second-hand - like taking handoffs from the quarterback.

+ Gibson unveiled the next wave in musical instruments - a guitar which tunes itself. I was going to say musicians won't have to fret about that anymore. But then I remembered guitars are made with frets.

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of our Blog of America items Monday inspired a reader to set us straight....

I was recently reading your blog (as I do now and again) and came across something just a little bit off.

You wrote about an auction where a truffle went for over $300,000 and then said something about candy prices going to 1/2 price December 26th.

The truffle at auction was not a candy. There are truffles and there are truffles. The truffle that is a candy is absolutely nothing like the other. The truffle at auction was an extremely hard to find MUSHROOM. They are highly valued for their use in hi-dollar cuisine world wide.

Here is a link to the Reuter's article and I am also adding a picture of the truffle sold at auction to this email....

Sorry if I stepped on any toes I just wanted to say for the record this truffles price wouldnt go down with the candy prices. H**k, if they had put it on ebay it would have sold for even more ... LOL

Glenn

Thanks for the correction, which teaches me two things. First, I should be careful not to base my jokes simply on web site headlines. Second, I should never trifle with a lover of truffles.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1757 (+ 64, 3.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

4 DEC 07: THE MUSCOGEE HORROR PICTURE SHOW

Who knows how many people it's startled? You're sitting at home eating lunch, when a commercial appears during the noon news showing several local sex offenders. It's much more comforting to go searching for lost eight-year-olds - although they'd run away faster, if you tried to catch them.

But for a week or two, messages have appeared during the noon news showing nine Muscogee County sex offenders. Sheriff Ralph Johnson appears as well, saying the men have NOT met state requirements to register with authorities -- which I think puts them in something like an "Army reserve" for cleaning up local storm damage.

I'm not sure how the Muscogee County Sheriff's Office knows the nine sex offenders are even in the area. But apparently they are, as Deputy Joel McCraa reported Monday at least four of them have been found since the TV messages began. Hopefully the rest of them aren't playing elves in some church pageant.

We found all nine wanted sex offenders Monday night - well, I mean we found them online. If you haven't seen the TV ads, their pictures are posted at the Sheriff's Department web site. Trouble is, the pictures are as well-hidden within the city web site as some of the sex offenders are in their neighborhoods.

One of the addresses listed for a captured sex offender looked familiar -- and sure enough, it was. His last known address was the House of Mercy on Third Avenue, which isn't that far from Downtown Elementary School. Maybe this explains why the House of Mercy isn't listed in the latest Columbus white pages [True!]....

Muscogee County officials say the TV search for sex offenders was inspired by successful hunts in other cities. But why is it starting now, late in 2007? Hasn't "America's Most Wanted" been on the air for more than ten years?

And what about the long-running Crimestoppers program, which searches for wanted criminals? The Muscogee County Sheriff's Department is listed as a "cooperating agency" - but Columbus Police seems to be mentioned much more often in those reports. And let's face it: searches for armed robbers are a lot more thrilling than manhunts for people who haven't filled out paperwork.

Maybe I'm overly skeptical, but I'm struck by the timing of this TV campaign showing Ralph Johnson. The Sheriff happens to be up for re-election next year - and any free TV time he has now could save him money next October. It's even better than "paying it forward," because he's not paying anything.

And lest we forget, we're approaching the fourth anniversary of one of Sheriff Ralph Johnson's biggest challenges. Radio stations are promoting next Sunday's Kenneth Walker Memorial Service, at the church he attended. But I wouldn't expect any political announcements there - as you're more likely to find a table selling tickets to the NAACP banquet.

Not much else made news around the area Monday, but here's what we noticed:

+ Which restaurant and market on Buena Vista Road is offering free drinks to anyone showing a Carver High School ID? It's in honor of the football team - but how many people are going to show Carver-Spencer football game ticket stubs?

+ The final college bowl lineup (determined after our Monday deadline) showed Georgia Tech is going to the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, Idaho. How hard must it be to sell Tech fans tickets to this game? I suppose you could sell a skiing package - but fans already will be climbing up snow-covered stairs at the stadium.

+ Alabama men's basketball coach Mark Gottfried underwent hernia surgery. This is what happens when you're pushed to overtime on your home floor by Southeast Louisiana....

+ Police at the University of North Alabama announced they're searching for a campus flasher. At this time of year, I assume the search is being suspended at sunset.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: A new national intelligence estimate was issued Monday, indicating Iran stopped working on nuclear weapons four years ago. Will the Bush administration apply the lessons learned in Iraq? Will it assume this report is wrong, and proceed to invade Iran anyway?

+ Voters in Venezuela rejected a ballot question which would have allowed President Hugo Chavez to run for re-election indefinitely. If only Mr. Chavez had reminded people of how well it worked for Franklin Roosevelt.

(Hugo Chavez declared the 51-percent no vote was a sign that "democracy is maturing" in Venezuela. Doesn't this imply the President is immature?)

+ British teacher Gillian Gibbons was flown out of Sudan. She served several days in prison for allowing a second-grade class to name a stuffed bear Muhammad. This would never happen in the U.S., of course - as teachers would be punished for mentioning Jesus instead.

+ Karl Rove wrote in a magazine that Barack Obama should fight harder to win the Iowa caucuses, or his presidential campaign will be doomed. Maybe Obama should borrow from one of Iowa's favorite winter sports - and challenge Hillary Rodham Clinton to a wrestling match.

+ Republican Presidential candidate John McCain appeared in a forum sponsored by Myspace and MTV. Put those two entities together, and campaigning really will change - with candidates challenged to post their "boxers or briefs" online.

+ Former Commissioner Bowie Kuhn was selected by a veterans' committee for the Baseball Hall of Fame. Well, no one ever accused HIM of overperforming due to steroids....

+ Forensic experts announced they tested the evening gown of the Miss Puerto Rico pageant winner, and found NO sign of pepper spray. How could people possibly confuse this with baby powder?

+ Speaking of which, Inside Edition showed bodyguards for Britney Spears shooting pepper spray at photographers. It happened during Spears's weekend birthday party -- which at least shows she's becoming more careful about the safety and protection of her children.

+ The Spice Girls began their reunion tour - and we're happy to report pepper spray was nowhere in sight. Even though some people consider pepper a spice....

+ Inside Edition also reported Ashley Tisdale of "High School Musical" has had a nose job. In a way this isn't surprising, but in another way it's sad. Bob Hope and Jimmy Durante had pretty nice careers, without having to fix their noses.

+ Oprah Winfrey underwent acupuncture treatment on her talk show. This probably was inevitable -- because she's been needled about her weight for years.

+ AT&T announced it will phase out all pay phones by the end of the year. This will have an immediate impact on some low-income neighborhoods - as the people who can afford home phones will gain a lot of new friends.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: An e-mail about.... mushrooms?!....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1693 (+ 56, 3.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Monday, December 03, 2007

3 DEC 07: BOWL BASHED

Sorry, NBC - Sunday night was indeed football night, but not for you. Some of us were more interested in where our favorite college teams would play next. Even if we had to get slapped around by broadcasters along the way....

The Georgia Bulldogs will head to New Orleans in January - but for the Sugar Bowl, not the Bowl Championship Series title game. This isn't completely bad news, though. Mark Richt's team can stick around the city between the games, and challenge Louisiana State to a showdown in someone's backyard.

Last week's Bowl Championship Series rankings had Georgia fourth in the country. The final rankings released Sunday night had the Bulldogs fifth. Now hold on -- I thought the top two teams lost Saturday night. But did that many other teams actually win?

Georgia head coach Mark Richt told Fox Sports his final Top 25 ballot had his Bulldogs second, behind Ohio State. I suppose that's understandable - but it's also a little scary. Doesn't he realize how many number-two teams have lost this season?

Mark Richt said he was disappointed that Georgia seemed to be disqualified from the B.C.S. title game because it didn't win the Southeastern Conference championship. But there's a small problem with that argument. People in Tennessee would argue their college actually finished in second place....

Georgia will face an unusual opponent in the Sugar Bowl. Hawaii has plenty to prove in New Orleans. Not only because their football team is unbeaten -- but because the state of Hawaii produces a lot more sugar than Louisiana.

(But how many Hawaiians actually are going to make the trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl? That university might do better paying off Georgia Tech fans to show up as stand-ins.)

My alma mater Kansas was selected for a B.C.S. game - and most of the so-called experts were proven wrong, when the Jayhawks were selected for the Orange Bowl near Miami. The dream season continues, as far as I'm concerned. I might actually drive to Miami for the game -- while a one-day drive to the Fiesta Bowl might force me to drive above the speed limit.

My road atlas shows there are 661 miles between Atlanta and Miami. I could drive to the Orange Bowl in one day, attend the game on the night of the second day, and drive back on the third day. Then I'd be limping for two more days, since my car doesn't have cruise control.

The "instant analysis" on TV and radio declared Kansas unworthy of the Orange Bowl, because Missouri beat the Jayhawks to win the Big 12 North title. But please do some mathematics here. Kansas has one loss. Missouri has two. And what in the world is Illinois doing in the Rose Bowl, with three?

Did you notice the Fox crawl during the selection show, saying you can go to a web site and buy Bowl Championship Series merchandise? Can I buy my own computer, and figure out the rankings another way?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Sometimes we get messages that are downright head-scratching....

I am just wondering....do you turn your Emails over to the almighty one? I guess you decided not to follow up on information that has been shared with you over the last few months. Hey second place isnt to bad.

I'll take three guesses as to what this is about:

1. No, Mayor Wetherington has never asked for our e-mails. Nor has Police Chief Boren.

2. I'm still not married.

3. If this is about Sunday's item about the court order from Cascade Hills Church, I didn't turn over any messages to Pastor Bill Purvis. No one there even asked for the three different e-mails about the church which we posted 7 October. Maybe if I had left a larger tithe check in the bucket....

I took Bill Purvis at his word in October, when he ruled out any legal action by Cascade Hills Church. And this blog did call the District Attorney's office last spring, when rumors first spread about possible lawsuits. The prosecutor's staff had no record of any cases involving the church and pastor then. But times change - much like e-mail identities can.

Now to the Sunday news headlines....

+ Columbus Police were involved in a late-night standoff at the Big Lots store on Sidney Simons Boulevard. Authorities say two people robbed the store, one of them wearing a President Bush mask. If this was someone's weird idea of making up for what happened at Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign office, it didn't work.

+ The annual Toys for Tots motorcycle ride roared down Victory Drive, to Flat Rock Park. The line of bikes was long enough to stop traffic for about ten minutes - and no one dared try to cross a street with so many leather-wearing guys, even if they were carrying stuffed bears.

(The Iron Cross motorcycle club puts together this toy ride every year - but what's this I hear about a feud with the Cruisers Club? Does the Springer Opera House need to stage "West Side Story," to bring reconciliation?)

+ The Courier reported promoters are trying to schedule a Janet Jackson concert at the Columbus Civic Center. Police are already preparing for this - by lining up several clothing stores to cover up Jackson during the show.

+ Football's Atlanta Falcons lost in St. Louis 28-16. Fox Sports announcer Ron Pitts praised Atlanta wide receiver Roddie White at one point for showing "a lot of energy in the film room." Well, THAT explains why they're 3-9 - they're too tired to play on Sundays.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Don Imus is returning to New York radio today. His morning show is being telecast on the rural-focused channel RFD-TV - and I'm not sure if that TV audience will laugh more at Imus, or all those city slickers he interviews.

+ The journal "Nature Geoscience" reported tropical conditions seem to be advancing toward the north and south poles. It makes you wish the Tropic of Cancer was on the Southern hemisphere side, instead of our own.

+ The Kennedy Center in Washington honored five famous people in the arts, including Steve Martin and Diana Ross. Put Ross's hair on Martin's head, and he could do one wild comedy act....

+ Ozzy Osbourne held a garage sale in Beverly Hills, and items sold for incredibly high prices. A pair of his eyeglasses was purchased for more than $5,000. Now he'll need his wife more than ever, to avoid stumbling around his mansion.

+ A giant truffle was sold at auction in Macau for $330,000. Some people apparently don't realize the candy prices will drop by half on December 26.

+ The Apollo Theater in New York hosted the "Holiday Classic" of double-dutch jump roping. Teams from Japan finished in the top three positions - so if you hear people start doing triple-Tokyo jumps, that's why.

+ Tampa Bay nicked New Orleans 27-23 in pro football. And on a dare, Tampa's Greg White did a backflip on the field before the game. White is a defensive lineman, weighing about 290 pounds! How many cheerleading squads will have to change their weight requirement, because of this?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1637 (- 81, 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

2 DEC 07: WE'RE TAKING NAMES

Well, well - at least one of the rumors about Cascade Hills Church turns out to be true. It's going to court to stop people from spreading rumors about it. Those people claiming Tommy Tuberville is leaving Auburn University had better be careful....

A front-page story in Saturday's Ledger-Enquirer revealed Yahoo has been asked to turn over the identities of five e-mail accounts, which spread messages about Cascade Hills Church and Pastor Bill Purvis. The church leaders probably know the Bible verse about God revealing secrets - but apparently the Holy Spirit hasn't provided enough tips yet.

A court order seeking the e-mail identities actually was signed by Muscogee County Judge Doug Pullen at the end of October. The opinion web site "RateItAll" claims it had NOT received the order as of Friday. Has this site checked its "spam" mailbox lately?

The critics of Cascade Hills Church probably are crying foul already, because of which judge signed the court order. Doug Pullen appears in an often-broadcast "Real Time" program, where Pastor Bill Purvis gives his personal testimony. Pullen was a prosecutor when Purvis was attacked downtown - way back before such things started making page one of the newspaper.

This is actually a story this blog broke eight weeks ago - about anonymous e-mails circulating among the Cascade Hills Church membership. But I didn't know the matter had gone to court until the Ledger-Enquirer's Allison Kennedy called me Friday afternoon. It was NOT mentioned at any services I attended in October and early November -- and unlike many worshipers there, I showed up with a notebook.

Allison Kennedy was nice enough to quote this blog's interview with Pastor Bill Purvis [7 Oct], as she was unable to reach him for a comment. She called me to confirm the interview actually occurred. Oh yes - I only do pretend question-and-answer sessions when I'm practicing for possible meetings with beggars.

Of the four e-mail addresses mentioned in the court order, we received a message about Cascade Hills from only one of them. "Old Cascade Member" wrote us at the end of September, with selected highlights from a church bylaw update filed with the state of Georgia. She's probably now wishing she could have selected better -- like not selecting to click the "send" button.

The Ledger-Enquirer tracked down "Old Cascade Member." She's Briana Ogletree, who left Cascade Hills Church early this year. But her husband happens to be part of the church music team. We may have a new idea in license plates here - the words "a house divided," only with church logos.

(Briana Ogletree noted her Yahoo account doesn't work anymore. You don't think her husband was the one who disabled it....?!)

Briana Ogletree doesn't understand why Cascade Hills Church is coming after her. She told the newspaper she didn't think she had done anything wrong. Her e-mail (the top one we posted 7 October) certainly didn't seem to call Pastor Bill Purvis or his directors any names - you know, the mean ones churchgoers use like "infidel."

But if I'm putting the pieces together correctly, Cascade Hills Church may be accusing Briana Ogletree of misusing a church e-mail list. She admits sending her e-mail to about 30 people, including church staff. Lists like that are for praying, you know - not preying.

A check through our InBox shows the blog has received e-mail from a second anonymous Yahoo address in the court order: "FearsNot." That came early last year, on a completely different topic [19 Feb 06] -- when he called a local land investor a "con man." Some people apparently are more concerned about their reputation than others....

But it appears Cascade Hills Church has more on its mind that those e-mails about bylaws. At least two of the names on the court order posted negative items last spring at a local Yahoo group -- a group which now appears to have been dissolved. So a church which searches high and low for converts may be searching for critics the same way.

We should note we posted three different e-mails about Cascade Hills Church 7 October. Two of the three came from addresses which are NOT part of the court order. The church hasn't come after us for them, and in fact hasn't contacted us at all about this case. But now I'm wondering about the church I'm currently attending - which asks you to write an e-mail address on the tithing envelopes.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We expected a message in our direction about the Cascade Hills story. But instead, our InBox has other topics....

shooting on Monday 11-19 VERY HUSH HUSH ? ? ?

This e-mail came from Talbot County, and follows one we posted here last Tuesday. Several messages suggest there was a shooting sometime in November, at a junkyard in Box Springs. But then again, maybe someone spat chewing tobacco on an old metal bucket to make it sound like a gunshot.

We called the Talbot County Sheriff's Office late Thursday and asked what they knew about this story. The woman who answered the phone seemed to laugh for a moment, then said only the investigator on the case could comment. As of Saturday night, that investigator still had not called us. C'mon, folks - you don't need to dial "one" for a long-distance call.

Another e-mail is interested in education:

Columbus High School won a silver medal in US News' best high schools in GA...Looks like with the pick of the city they would have won a gold..Is CHS sliding off the hill?

Off the hill?!?! Aw, c'mon! It's the only public high school in Muscogee County that's even ranked. That's a bit like saying Auburn is sliding in football, because it only beat Alabama by seven points.

Only one Georgia high school received a "gold medal" in the U.S. News and World Report rankings - and that was a magnet school in Augusta. Columbus High is one of five to rate a silver. Alabama may not have provided any assessment data - so those schools may be not merely off the hill, but sinking in Mobile Bay.

Speaking of successful high schools, congratulations to Carver's football team. It sliced Carrollton 14-7, and will return to the AAA semifinals at the Georgia Dome. No wonder Carrollton's players and coaches want quarterback DeRon Furr to live up to his name - and go furr-way to college.

Now let's tap out some Instant Messages of our own....

+ To the Manchester Police and Fire Departments: I hope things are back to normal, after that big explosion. Maybe now you'll have time to fix your web site - and the flag that's about six years out of date.

+ To whomever turned up the Johnny Cash song "Ring of Fire" downtown on Ninth Street: Was that your way of protesting the snow machine at Winterfest?

+ To the man I saw lying on a bench, in the middle of the Phenix City Riverwalk's "Chattahoochee Christmas:" Sleep in heavenly peace - until the police find you.

+ To the staff at Port Columbus: Will you dare to bring it up to visitors? I mean, Navy beating Army in football for the sixth year in a row....

+ To anyone voting in the final polls leading to the Bowl Championship Series: Ohio State has one loss. My alma mater Kansas has one loss. This title game match-up only makes sense to me - so please ignore Hawaii, which should prove itself against somebody like Georgia.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: The lingering Writers' Guild strike is starting to take a toll. NBC's "Tonight Show" has laid off 80 staff members - so if you see band leader Kevin Eubanks on the street in Los Angeles, put a quarter in his Philadelphia hat.

("Late Night" host Conan O'Brien is promising to pay all the staff members who are not on strike. Does that include the dog that spouts off insults? And does he get bones, or Purina?)

+ A man took several hostages at a Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign office in New Hampshire. The man claimed he needed psychiatric care, but was denied it due to a lack of money. Someone should have told him Mrs. Clinton can't provide universal health care until after she takes offices - and that's not for 14 months.

+ Oprah Winfrey will begin campaigning for Barack Obama this week. She's known as "O." Her candidate's initials are B.O. So she might be called an O-BO instrument.

+ Talk show host Montel Williams apologized, for making angry threats at reporters in Savannah. Williams reportedly told a group from the Savannah Morning News: "I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up." Who does he think he is, O.J. Simpson?

+ A radio reporter in southern Africa marked World AIDS Day by having himself circumcised - while recording it all for listeners. This could set the stage for an unusual African version of "The Sopranos."

+ Criminal charges were filed against hip-hop star Akon. A teenage girl claims Akon threw someone off the stage into the crowd at a concert -- and when that person landed on her, she had a concussion. Heavy-metal fans wouldn't be pressing charges - they'd be showing off their doctor bills to buddies.

+ A man in Fort Pierce, Florida claims he was robbed of 100 dollars by a 300-pound prostitute - and the prostitute rode away on a blue bicycle. [True/Interprep.com] As if the blue bicycle will pick her out of a crowd?!

+ It's a sad weekend for many people, after learning Evel Knievel died at age 69. But something doesn't seem right about this. He survived all those wild motorcycle jumps - and then dies of a lung problem?!

(If there's any justice, the family will cremate Evel Knievel's body - and pour the ashes off the edge of the Snake River Canyon in Idaho.)

+ Brad Pitt told an interviewer he'll no longer do nude scenes. Well, why should he? He has Angelina Jolie to handle those things now....

+ The final weekend of the college football regular season was as wild as ever, with the two top-ranked teams losing. But I was more interested in Central Michigan winning the Mid-American Conference championship game - making that school the 2007 MAC-Daddy of the Year.

+ The United States swept Russia, to win its first tennis Davis Cup in 12 years. When the Russian team gets home, President Putin will be waiting - to send the players immediately into detention for at least three months.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: For the next few days, our post time will change. Look for updates to appear at around 8:00 a.m. ET.)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1718 (- 187, 9.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.