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19 MAR 04: OVER THE CLIFF

Instant Message to Auburn University Interim President Ed Richardson: Are you watching "The Apprentice" too much? You seem to be firing one staff member every day....

Ed Richardson's latest firing came Thursday morning, as Auburn men's basketball coach Cliff Ellis was dismissed. The "Birmingham News" broke the news of a possible firing Wednesday night - but a morning meeting made the story a real
Cliff-hanger.

(Hopefully he'll leave some advice for his successor -- maybe in the form of Cliff Notes.)

One reporter went to Cliff Ellis's home for a comment about his firing by Auburn. She reportedly was greeted at the door by a crying neighbor. So it's just as the sportscasters say - a case of "the hoop and the harm."

Cliff Ellis also broke down later, during a short news conference. He walked out after praising journalists for being "fair" to him over the last ten years. When a sports coach likes the reporters more than the managers above him, it's a sure sign of job trouble.

Cliff Ellis coached Auburn to two "Sweet 16" appearances in the NCAA tournament. But this season the Tigers were 14-14, with NO post-season appearance. Who would have guessed the National Invitational Tournament would be so NIT-picky.

Yes, I'm aware only last week [12 Mar] I declared Cliff Ellis IN and not out as Auburn basketball coach. But keep in mind, I based that answer on Athletic Director David Housel not shooting himself in the foot again. I didn't expect Ed Richardson to pull out his own gun and take matters into his own hands.

Cliff Ellis's ouster came one day after Interim President Ed Richardson fired Auburn University's Vice President of Academic Affairs, Betty Dement. So if Mr. Richardson is being even-handed, he'll fire a student sometime today.

Former Auburn assistant and current Columbus State coach Herbert Greene said he will NOT apply for the head coaching job at A.U. This leaves an unanswered question - does Greene have an agent, who will apply for him?

Meanwhile, Alabama's basketball team had a narrow escape on Thursday's opening day of the NCAA tournament. The Tide edged Southern Illinois 65-64 -- so to borrow from CBS's score box, their season record is not SO IL'ed.

The CBS shorthand for college names has puzzled me at times. Southern Illinois was shortened to "SO IL" Thursday - and Texas Tech appeared in the corner of the screen as "TEX T." I think Cingular Wireless suggested that one, so people would send more TEX T messages.

WRBL continued a strange Columbus tradition again this year, by cancelling its late news after the tournament games. Apparently when basketball games last until after midnight, "on my side" means sleeping.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of roundball, we were quite surprised to get this message about Columbus State University's playoff appearance [15 Mar]:

Richard,

Thanks for the mention. I've read your "Blog" for several months now and I always enjoy it. It's very entertaining.

By the way when I mentioned CSU was a team that couldn't get a break, I wasn't talking about officiating. I simply meant that this was a team that had to make it through the ordeal of Jed Bedford's death in December. Not only did they lose a good friend and team Captain, the practical effect of losing a player who led the nation in 3 pt. shooting was huge. Yet these guys fought back to win enough games to make it to the NCAA tournament. After winning the regional quarterfinal game in dramatic fashion on Saturday night, they "caught a bad break" for the Kennesaw game. Brown who made the winning shot and scored 31 points couldn't play and Deshawn Bowman, the best point guard in the league twisted his ankle in the game and wasn't close to being full speed. However, that's the way it goes in sports sometimes.

There's no question that I put a great deal of emotion into my broadcasts and yes I do worry about everything! I can convince you that CSU couldn't beat Midland Middle School on a good day!! Why do you think I have very little hair left? That's just my style. Hopefully some people have enjoyed it over the years.

Again, I enjoy your writings and thanks for listening to the games.

Scott Miller

Thanks for the nice comments, Scott. You're right, the Cougars DID fight back hard this season.-- and if necessary, you would have taken the floor and fought for them.

(Wow, Midland Middle School could challenge the C.S.U. basketball team?! This could change the planning of a lot of N.B.A. scouts....)

BLOG UPDATE: Theft charges against Columbus patrol officer Larry Lightning were dropped Thursday, two days after they were filed. The charges came and went with the speed of - well, Lightning.

A Recorder's Court judge threw out the theft charges against Larry Lightning after two former Spectrum store clerks testified they gave the officer items as a courtesy. OK, so when does that constitute bribe-taking?

(Giving a police officer bottled water as a "courtesy" is understandable. But Larry Lightning also was accused of taking beer from the Fort Benning Road convenience store. If more stores did this, the police officer shortage might end in a
hurry.)

Attorney Mark Shelnutt told WRBL it wasn't Officer Larry Lightning's fault if store workers let him have a "line of credit," which he repaid over time. We can't wait to be first in our block to have a Spectrum credit card, with a $100 limit.

It's surprising to hear Larry Lightning's theft charges were dropped, because someone is spreading rumors around Columbus that several police officers are involved in a shoplifting ring. I don't know if those rumors are true - but shouldn't
officers go about this differently? For instance, take the items "downtown for fingerprinting."

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next couple of weeks, due to our annual spring clean-up....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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18 MAR 04: JUMPING AT BENNING

The 104^th Transportation Company returned home to Fort Benning Wednesday, after about a year in Iraq. It's truly good to have all the soldiers home - but I sort of hoped they'd bring some barrels of oil back, to lower the gas price.

Will any of these GI's go back to Iraq? Not if they can help it. A junior officer at Fort Benning told me the other day large numbers of soldiers plan to get out of the army, instead of reenlisting. The dream of getting in the audience on an all-military "Price is Right" apparently isn't good enough....

This junior officer says the turnover in soldiers is for a reason you might not have heard about: bad Army leadership. He claims senior officers who chickened out of fights in Iraq are receiving medals and promotions. Wait until the Democrats hear about this - since they think President Bush did this sort of thing years ago.

The junior officer cited one specific situation near Nasiriyah, Iraq, where a platoon got bogged down in a minefield. He says top officers who snuck out without leading the other troops were awarded Silver Stars. No one else received one -- so
I guess they had to go to a dollar store and buy a book of stickers.

The junior officer suggested morale is a problem in the Army, because officers lacking in leadership keep getting promoted. If there's anything the U.S. military doesn't need, of course, it's a dose of democracy.

(Maybe the winner of the Presidential election should name Donald Trump Secretary of Defense. Then he could fire one slacker every week.)

I can understand what this junior officer is saying, about morale problems and questionable leadership in the Army. But doesn't this sort of thing happen in other walks of life? These soldiers might have taken jobs at Enron, you know....

Now if you don't mind (or even if you do), we're going to send some Instant Messages:

+ To the Columbus office of Habitat for Humanity: If you find the bum who vandalized those nine newly-built homes on Brown Avenue, I have a suggestion. Make that person repair all the damage - by himself, without any help.

+ To the Perk Avenue coffee shop on Veterans Parkway: Am I misunderstanding your big sign - or is Coca-Cola sponsoring "The Passion of the Christ?" I thought Jesus was given vinegar to drink.

+ To the Three Brothers Taqueria: Your new restaurant on Veterans Parkway certainly stands out from the crowd. I can't think of any other Mexican restaurant with a name in English.

+ To Lil' Kim's Cove on 4^th Street: OK, I give up. Why are you flying flags of the United Nations, South Korea and Alabama outside your club -- but NOT the Georgia flag? You're on the Columbus side of the bridge, after all....

COMING FRIDAY: Uh-oh, Scott Miller's reading my blog....

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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17 MAR 04: GET OUTTA HERE!

Several events in the news Tuesday got me thinking about withdrawing from places. The biggest one had nothing to do with U.S. forces departing Iraq -- but was about an Athletic Director departing Auburn.

David Housel announced he'll step down as Auburn University Athletic Director next January. But even this might not satisfy the Auburn trustees - who want him to take the blame for starting that recent fire in downtown Tuskegee.

David Housel says by setting a January 2005 departure date, he'll give Auburn plenty of time to find a replacement. So when does the bus leave for Louisville?

David Housel is an Auburn graduate, who's been on the Plains ever since he was a student. He says he should NOT be remembered for one mistake over a 34-year career. That seems fair -- so blame him for bungling Terry Bowden's departure,
as well as the Louisville trip.

I didn't realize until Tuesday that before becoming Athletic Director, David Housel spent eight years as a journalism professor at Auburn University. The question now becomes: when did Housel change his mind about "sunshine laws" and
full disclosure?

To be fair, David Housel has some good points from his ten years as Auburn Athletic Director. For instance, A.U. has won five national championships. Hmmmm.... when was the last time a swimming coach became a big-time Athletic Director?

As David Housel was making news in Auburn, the METRA bus service in Columbus was showing off its new historic exhibit - a 1950's-era bus called the "Freedom Express." With a name like that, you'd think TV news crews would have had the freedom to show the inside of it....

I'm told METRA Director Lisa Goodwin allowed the Ledger-Enquirer to take pictures inside the "Freedom Express" bus, but barred TV news crews from doing so. Considering a statue of Rosa Parks is aboard this civil rights museum piece, this is
amazing - a modern day case of being moved to the back of the bus.

Lisa Goodwin told one reporter if TV crews showed the inside of the "Freedom Express" bus, there would be no reason for visitors to come. This obviously explains why no one shows up at Georgia home football games anymore (ahem)....

And then there's the Columbus police officer who was put on leave Tuesday, after being arrested on five counts of "theft by taking." Don't you love that sort of legal language? When someone is arrested for "theft by giving," that WILL be news.

Veteran officer Larry Lightning is accused of stealing various items from a Spectrum store on Fort Benning Road since last December. As the store's commercial says, "You want it fast, fresh and friendly" - but it never says free.

Police records suggest Larry Lightning had help from three Spectrum employees in stealing gasoline, beer and bottled water. After mulling this combination over, I think the bottled water costs the most per gallon.

(C'mon now - stealing bottled water?!?! Couldn't some little child let this nice officer borrow a garden hose for a couple of minutes?)

Larry Lightning is on leave from the Columbus P.D., pending the misdemeanor theft counts. The timing of this couldn't be worse - as Officer Lightning could have been the talk of "Thunder in the Valley" this weekend.

I really hesitate to bring this up -- but since someone else probably will: there's a clear and obvious reason why Officer Larry Lightning's mug shot has appeared on TV, while former deputy David Glisson's picture has not. Glisson hasn't been arrested yet.

COMING THURSDAY: Soldiers return to Fort Benning.... and why some don't want to go on tour again....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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16 MAR 04: THE FINNISH LINE

"Five minutes or less service," says the sticker on a door of the Downtown Post Office. Yeah, right. It took me close to half-an-hour to use the post office Monday afternoon - so maybe that sticker went up back in the days when Domino's Pizza
promised 30-minute deliveries.

It was a bit past the lunch hour when I rolled down 12^th Street to the Downtown Post Office. It turned out I made the right call in picking a parking spot. The ones right in front of the door have a 15-minute time limit - while down the block they're two hours long. Why would anyone dare risk it?

(Besides, the short walk from the two-hour parking spot takes you past a row of newspaper boxes. Even "Investor's Business Daily" is there - which I guess makes sense, because downtown loft apartments aren't cheap.)

At around 1:15 p.m. Monday the waiting line at the Downtown Post Office stretched well out to the lobby of the federal courthouse. I had to double-check to make sure I hadn't overslept -- and it wasn't April 15 instead.

Only two people were working the Post Office counter downtown - along with someone who was walking around with a tape, measuring the counter itself. He checked how high it was, and how wide it stretched. Was this man a government
inspector, trying to make sure customers have a safe distance from crazed postal workers?

People from all walks of life can stand in line at the post office. My group included a woman who walked in carrying a box with an HSN logo on it. I'm going to assume this Home Shopping Network customer was NOT completely satisfied....

The young woman behind me in line was prepared for a long line like this. She pulled out a wireless phone and talked to somebody. Since I don't have a wireless phone, all I could do was stand there. Starting a chorus of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" didn't seem quite appropriate.

A big event brought me to the Downtown Post Office. I mailed the first copy of my debut CD to Finland! Apparently there's one part of the world which hasn't heard of KaZaA yet....

How much would YOU pay to send a CD to Finland? The lowest available price was $3.20, arriving by air in seven to ten days. For some reason, there was no rate for shipping by dogsled.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

People in Finland are buying my CD! Shouldn't you? Look for One God, Many Moods on the "local artists" shelf at Mustard Seed in Columbus -- or click here for music samples and how to order online. Request full-length songs by calling Jim Foster at WMLF AM-1270 weekdays between 6:00-8:30 a.m. But while you're here, enjoy some humorous thoughts about my "home turf."

BURKARD'S BLOG

I searched on the Internet at the start of 2003, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. So being the web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for nearly seven years, as well as my experiences in it.

But.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.

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15 MAR 04: THE MILLER'S TALE

Columbus State and Kennesaw State clashed in men's basketball Sunday night for the fourth time this season. The C.S.U. Cougars know the Owls so well they call the team "Kenny" for short.

It's always fun to listen to Scott Miller call Columbus State games on WDAK Radio. He's obviously a graduate of the Larry Munson school of sportscasting - because if there's something about the game to worry about, Miller will mention it over and over again until you can say it along with him.

Even before Sunday's tipoff, Scott Miller declared a "lucky spot is mandatory" for sitting by the radio to hear the C.S.U. game. That was because leading scorer Yandel Brown had a twisted back, and was barely able to play. The Cougars were so cold in the first half it was obviously a Brown-Out.

Even before the first media timeout, Scott Miller was finding fault with an official for talking with a member of a coaching staff. "He should be watching the game, not the bench," Miller declared. Aw, c'mon - if the announcer can watch what's happening at the bench, why can't the referee?

About eight minutes into the game, Miller was critical again. "He traveled! It was a clear travel, and they called a foul.... and they call it a shooting foul. The foul was on the floor.... That's a terrible call.... That's an awful call, on two accounts." Yes, it WAS a call against Columbus State - how did you guess?

Sticking to the "cheatin' refs" theme, Scott Miller reported during Kennesaw State's Saturday night quarterfinal win, "Catawba never got a call all night." Yet for some reason, the final score of that game was not 222-0.

"Kennesaw State coach Tony Engel spends more time on the court than some of his players," Miller accused at one point. "He was a step from the arc that time." The way Miller describes it, CSU Coach Herbert Greene sits in a chair and wears a seat belt throughout every game.

Another first-half Miller-ism: "We had no blue jerseys under the basket that time at all." So you see, there are times when he IS fair and balanced - perhaps along the Fox News Channel approach, but he is.

When the clock kept running after a shot-clock violation, Miller moaned, "They must do things backwards in Kennesaw.... I had to tell them to turn on the clock to count down to the tipoff last night." Backwards? Well, Kennesaw IS the city where you're required to have a gun in your home....

Columbus State took a brief lead in the second half, but then Kennesaw State rallied to put the game out of reach. Scott Miller seemed to sense the inevitable, saying at one point about a foul: "John [Thomas] DID push him in the back...." This
reminds me a bit of Democratic presidential candidates putting each other down for weeks, then coming together in unity.

As the outcome became obvious, Scott Miller said of the Cougars: "This team simply could not catch a break this year, could they?" How quickly Miller forgot the last-second shot Saturday night, to win the quarterfinal game against Virginia Union.

Yet even in the final minutes, Scott Miller's mutterings were not over. "It's about 125 degrees in this little rat-trap of a gym [in Kennesaw]-- where the NCAA tournament never should have been held." From what I've heard over the years, I
think Miller prepares these grudges at home and carries them with him on road trips.

But wait, there's more! Scott Miller moaned the Kennesaw State arena didn't meet the minimum playoff requirement of 1,000 seats. "They have 896, as I counted them personally Friday afternoon." That's what we like to hear - a sportscaster who's focused on the game.

The final score was 70-55 for Kennesaw State, leaving Scott Miller and all Cougar fans disappointed. The basketball season is over, but please don't be concerned -- Miller now can spend the next two months worrying and whining about the C.S.U. baseball team.

BLOG UPDATE: At the risk of saying I-told-you-so, Georgia was overlooked for the NCAA Division I men's tournament Sunday night. But then again, the Winthrop team which Bulldog announcers bragged about so much when it won in Athens didn't get chosen, either.

BIG PREDICTION: It pains me to do it, but I fear my alma mater Kansas is overrated as a #4 seed. Thus I predict the Jayhawks will lose their opening tournament game to Illinois-Chicago. It's U-I-C - or in this case, I'd rather not see.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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14 MAR 03: WARY OF THE GREEN

"Excuse me, sir," a teenager said loudly to me outside a supermarket on South Lumpkin Road Friday afternoon. But my back was turned, and the teen was competing with the loud rock music inside a Coca-Cola truck behind him. There seems to be no soda for the classical music buff like me.

I needed the young man to repeat his request. "Would you like to make a donation to the Green Hornets?" asked the teen holding a plastic bucket. I figured either this was a new environmental club - or some people are desperate for comic books.

"What's that?" I asked the Green Hornets representative.

"A basketball team," the teen answered. Sure enough, he was wearing a bright green basketball jersey with the word "Hornets" on it. For all I knew, this could be a Spencer High School farm team.

"Who are the Green Hornets? I've never heard of them before," I asked further.

"AAU," the young man replied. That organization puts on amateur basketball leagues from coast to coast - but why should I give money to it? I hear stories of agents slipping top players money all the time.

What would YOU have done, facing an offer like this about a mysterious team? "Since I've never heard of your team, I'm going to pass," I said. I'd trust the players more if they had a table selling chocolate chip cookies.

After a Saturday of reflection, however, I had to repent of my decision. Christians like me are supposed to err on the side of mercy, when it comes to requests like these. In this moment, I was acting like critics of "The Passion of the Christ" - yes, like my pastor.

The request from the Green Hornets came just before I entered the supermarket. After I left and rolled my half-filled cart of groceries to the car, a man walked by my trunk. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

"Physically, yes," I told the man. He kept walking away - as each of us probably wondered what the other was up to mentally.

BLOG UPDATE: The "Friends of David Glisson" held a fund-raising "Home Run Derby" Saturday at the Rose Hill softball field. Some people in this neighborhood probably asked why Glisson wasn't armed with a softball bat last December 10^th -- because then Kenneth Walker might have lived.

TV coverage of the Home Run Derby did NOT show a big crowd of people on hand. And a petition to reinstate David Glisson to the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department didn't appear to have many names on it. Someone should arrange a
meeting between Glisson supporters and the Rainbow/PUSH coalition - and the side with fewer names has to shut up.

Organizers of the Home Run Derby assured reporters David Glisson is NOT a monster. I never expected I'd hear a former sheriff's deputy compared to Charlize Theron....

Now other notes from a splendid springlike weekend:

+ Muscogee County schools held their first-ever "Character Education Day." My personal favorite character is Bugs Bunny -- but apparently he never came up in the discussion.

(The "character education" in-service day actually dealt with ways to prevent bullying in schools. Of course, they couldn't bring up the religious factor in prevention -- such as telling pastors to stop using a "bully pulpit.")

+ College students from several campuses finished the Habitat for Humanity "Collegiate Challenge." In five days, they built nine new houses! It almost makes you wonder why the Trade Center expansion has taken more than a year.

+ The Port Columbus museum is marking its anniversary with a celebration called "RiverBlast." For some reason, Sonic drive-ins did not mark the occasion with a "River-Blast" slush or shake.

(WRBL's Katie Weitzner did a live report on RiverBlast from a Civil War-era boat, in the middle of the Chattahoochee River! Thankfully no other station knew about this -- because the battle could have left her hair a mess.)

+ Spring cleaning around the apartment reminded me that Target is marking five years in Columbus this month. Come to think of it, why IS this store on Bradley Park Drive? Shouldn't a Target be closer to Fort Benning?

+ Jason Kostal gave a concert at Fountain City Coffee downtown. He's a singer and guitarist, who's also an instructor at Fort Benning's sniper school -- so WRBL dubbed him the "singing sniper!" Somewhere, a budding hip-hop star wrote down
those words....

+ Instant Message to area Blimpie's sandwich shops: Why do you all seem to shut down after dark - even on a Saturday night at 7:30? Some of us DO want a sub outside banker's hours.

COMING THIS WEEK: Why some soldiers are bailing out of Benning, after serving in Iraq....

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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12 MAR 04: IN OR OUT?

Let's play a game today called "In or Out" - where we mention an item in our area, and you guess whether it's, well, in or out right now. Ready?

1. Yellow as a spring color. In or out?

Answer: OUT. Haven't you seen Jimmy Rain's Great Southern Wood ads? It's YELLA now.

(Remember one thing when you see the big billboards with Jimmy Rain pointing at the word "YELLA" - he's on the Auburn University Board of Trustees.)

2. Welfare in Columbus. In or out?

Answer: IN. It certainly was when I visited the DFCS office Thursday morning. And before you ask - no, I am NOT living on food stamps because you're not donating to this blog.

I was chauffeuring my elderly next-door neighbor, and our first stop was the Health and Human Services Center on Comer Avenue. At one point, the line of people to see a DFCS window attendant was five people long - which I think matched the longest line to buy South Georgia Waves baseball tickets last season.

In the "cubicle farm" beyond the DFCS waiting room, there's a big sign reading, "Get in gear.... start a career." Trouble is, my next-door neighbor is more than 70 years old. People her age are thankful simply to get out of bed, much less get anything in gear.

3. The Family Center's Dr. Julie Rose. In or out?

Answer: IN, for a comment she made on TV Thursday evening. She said parents should encourage sensitivity in boys, because when they grow up "hopefully they'll marry a girl." This doctor can run for any political office in Columbus she'd
like.

4. Colonial Mall in Auburn. In or out?

Answer: OUT. Managers announced Thursday the name will change to "Colonial University Village." As if "mall" is the word which didn't fit here?! It's in Auburn, not Louisville or Richmond.

Colonial University Village will be the second name change for the Auburn mall since I moved to this area seven years ago. New college students will be amazed to learn these changes happened with NO competition from the new "Tiger Town."

I'm actually pleased by the name change the mall in Auburn. The corporate managers have put the name "Colonial Mall" on buildings in several other cities, including one I've visited in Brunswick, Georgia. How many Auburn alums have stopped there, and been disappointed by the lack of Tiger gear?

5. Mike Gaymon of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce. In or out?

Answer: IN. He's on the air so much these days that I'm waiting for him to announce he's running for President as an independent.

Mike Gaymon announced a new membership drive for the Chamber of Commerce Thursday. Is this really the right time? After all, the United Way hasn't finished begging for money yet....

Mike Gaymon already hosted a weekly Chamber of Commerce talk show on WCGT TV-16. Now he also has a Tuesday morning talk show on WDAK radio -- where he joins the weekend home repair guy as the only announcers with no conservative ax to grind.

6. Heath Morton, WRBL weekend meteorologist. In or out?

Answer: OUT. He's heading for Huntsville, to take a TV job there. Now I have no one left to call "Heath Bar" when I'm watching TV.

Heath Morton reportedly had a deal to move to Huntsville several months ago - but the WRBL management at the time refused to let him leave. If Morton was that vital to whatever success they had, why didn't the managers put Jeff Donald on a bus to Huntsville instead?

Heath Morton didn't get much of a chance to say goodbye to WRBL. It came up last Friday on "News 3 at 6:00" - in the last ten seconds of the newscast. Maria LaRosa had a visit from former Mayor Bobby Peters.

7. Mara Kelly, WRBL weekend news anchor. In or out?

Answer: OUT - or so I'm hearing. One source tells me Kelly's leaving the air because she wants to start a family. So maybe THIS is WRBL's strategy for better ratings....

8. Southeastern Conference basketball, as a whole. In or out?

Answer: OUT. When Columbus TV stations would rather show an infomercial or a shopping channel than Thursday afternoon's Auburn-Georgia game, it MUST be out.

On the other hand, radio coverage of Southeastern Conference basketball must be IN. I went back and forth between WRCG and WHAL to listen to the Auburn-Georgia game, and heard the same commercials on both stations several times.

9. The University of Georgia men's basketball team, which annihilated Auburn Thursday in the Southeastern Conference tournament. In or out of the NCAA's?

Answer: OUT, I say - even if the Bulldogs beat Kentucky today for a third time this season. If they couldn't beat Winthrop in December, can you really trust this team to show up for the national playoffs?

10. Auburn men's basketball coach Cliff Ellis, whose Tigers were trampled by Georgia. In or out?

Answer: IN. His job is safe, because Athletic Director David Housel doesn't want to shoot himself in the foot twice in five months.

11. A day without any news about the Kenneth Walker case. In or out?

Answer: IN - and I hope more days are like Thursday. To me, it's a refreshing change.

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, due to our annual spring clean-up....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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11 MAR 04: CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE?

So whatever happened to Taylor County High School - where over the years they've not only had "Dueling Banjos," but dueling prom DJ's?

The answer to that question came Wednesday. Taylor County school officials announced the district will sponsor a prom for all the high school students this spring. The school kept its hands off the prom for decades -- thus setting an example for students about proper dancing.

As you may know, Taylor County High School students divided at prom time on their own for 30 years. Some went to a "white prom." Some went to a "black prom." And who knows what would have happened if Marion County hadn't taken all the Hispanic immigrants.

Taylor County tried a unified prom for all students at the Columbus Trade Center two years ago - but the racially separate proms returned last year, and they became a national news story. So it's no wonder the school district took action. Officials don't want Bill O'Reilly organizing a protest march into town.

There's only one catch to The Official Taylor County High School Prom. It'll be held in the school gym, and some students aren't thrilled about that. Maybe this will inspire Red Roof Inn or Super 8 to open a motel in Butler....

(But what did these high school students expect? It's Taylor County - where I suspect there's barely enough money in the budget to buy a crown for the queen.)

One Taylor County High School openly called the gymnasium prom idea a "bunch of cr*p." Several others said it's simply not the same, compared with proms in Fort Valley or Columbus. For one thing, those cities actually have roads where you
can stick your head out of a limousine at more than a 35-mile-per-hour speed limit.

Taylor County Superintendent Wayne Smith admitted Wednesday he's heard some groups of students might not come to The Official High School Prom. He says the district will take no responsibility for what happens elsewhere - say, if some
teens actually get away from teacher chaperones and have fun.

The Taylor County Superintendent says it's time to put the "negative racial publicity" about proms behind. He's more than willing to let the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department deal with that instead.

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of which, Wednesday's Ledger-Enquirer revealed the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition failed to even pass the first stage in a recall of Sheriff Ralph Johnson. Dozens of signatures to start a petition drive were rejected by the Muscogee County Election Board. Perhaps some people signed under assumed names, to guard against a raid.

All Dr. William Howell of Rainbow/PUSH needed were 100 signatures from registered voters to begin a recall drive. But out of 120 names turned in, only 89 of them were registered to vote four years ago. As close as the 2000 Presidential
election was, you'd think people would remember if they were registered or not.

William Howell picked up another application, and will start from scratch to recall the Muscogee County Sheriff. He says he'll take petitions to "barber shops, beauty shops...." the better to verify those names with DNA checks.

Now a whip-around of other Wednesday news:

+ Char-Broil announced a recall of three models of gas grills, because of problems with temperature gauges. Those gauges are especially important in this part of the country - because during the summer, you're likely to sweat before you even turn the heat on.

+ WLTZ confirmed to the Ledger-Enquirer it plans to keep showing "Martha Stewart Living" until its contract for the show expires in September. Please note the show appears at 12:00 noon - separated from Judge Mathis by a safe two hours.

+ Instant Message to the "Online Income Seminar:" You can come to town next Monday if you wish. But if you insist on spelling the name of this city COLOMBUS in your infomercials, why should I think your approach will make me successful?

COMING FRIDAY: What's in and out for spring.... or should we say "who" is....

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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10 MAR 04: GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL

Today is the second and final day of the annual "Jail and Bail" fund-raiser for the Crimestoppers program. At last Edward DuBose can put David Glisson where he thinks Glisson belongs....

But seriously: "Jail and Bail" helps the Crimestoppers reward fund collect thousands of dollars. You lock up your friends or neighbors, and make them raise money by bailing themselves out. I can think of some local sports teams who could learn from this idea.

Sergeant Warren Dunlap of the Columbus Police described the project this way Tuesday: "Nobody's safe today and tomorrow." That settles it - every time I step outside my apartment today, I'm wearing sunglasses as a disguise.

The Jail and Bail lockup site has moved this year, from Peachtree Mall to the Heritage Inn motel downtown. I don't know why this change was made. Maybe the Mall is starting something for its usual visitors, called "Teens Grounded" or
something....

There are some restrictions on the "Jail and Bail" game. For one thing, people you want "arrested" must be at businesses -- NOT at residences. After all, we don't want to overwork the SWAT team.

Some businesses have "immunity" from arrests during "Jail and Bail," because they made a donation in advance to Crimestoppers. If it works for corporations during political campaigns, why not here?

Who would YOU like to see thrown in a mock jail for a while? We can think of some candidates....

+ Columbus Councilor Nathan Suber - so we can take pictures of him, and use them in attack ads during the next election.

+ Miriam Tidwell - because if she's not careful, she could develop the ego of a Martha Stewart.

+ Either Assistant City Manager - but we'd require them to pay the bail out of their big raises.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION: Our one-week question on Sheriff Ralph Johnson ended Tuesday night, with 82 percent of you against a recall. (9-2) It already seemed like William Howell of the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition had a mountain to climb. With these numbers, he might as well head for Mount McKinley and try it.

Meanwhile in Albany, District Attorney Ken Hodges told WRBL he will NOT release the "cop-cam" videotape of the shooting of Kenneth Walker last December. Hodges explained it might taint a jury, and hurt David Glisson's defense. If he's using language like that to describe the tape, the view of Glisson may not be obscured enough.

Dougherty County D.A. Ken Hodges also said he's spoken to the widow of Kenneth Walker, and plans to meet with her family before long. He'll probably wait until later to meet with David Glisson - when plea bargaining starts.

You need more Tuesday topics to talk about? OK:

+ The preliminary hearing for Fort Benning Chaplain James Yee was delayed for the SIXTH time. The military's definition of a "speedy trial" must be based on the Mars Rover spacecraft....

+ The Historic Chattahoochee Commission unveiled a sign in Columbus marking the "Colored Department of the City Hospital." [True/WRBL] It looks like supporters of the 1957 Georgia flag have a new gathering place.

+ Columbus State University announced it has changed its downtown campus plans, and will NOT build an arts and sciences center on the grassy oval at 10^th and Bay Avenue. After all, future students will need someplace t play touch football besides the middle of Broadway.

+ The Columbus High School marching band staged a neighborhood parade, to get ready for a performance in Chicago on St. Patrick's Day. But hold on a minute - didn't this group forget something? Where was the Ketia Swanier float?

+ The Georgia House approved a bill regulating professional wrestling. Groups such as WWE would have to pay the state a $1,000 annual fee, plus $250 per match. At those rates, there won't be much money left to fix the matches.

(Supporters of this bill say they're trying to end dangerous "backyard wrestling" cards youngsters stage for each other. Of course, this simply will start another trend -- "basement rec. room wrestling.")

Instant Message to Mike Vee: It's nice to hear the Columbus Cottonmouths had an "action-packed month" in February. But I heard you say this on WRCG Tuesday night - on March 9. What have you done for me lately?

SONG OF THE DAY: GPB-TV presented a "pledge month" special Tuesday night about the folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary - and Peter Yarrow was in the studio, going to phones with his guitar and singing to callers! Here's one tune he should have tried:

If I had a pledge, I'd pledge it in the morning.

I'd pledge it in the evening - I'd pick up the phone.

I'd charge it on Visa!

I'd use Disco-ov-er!

I'd pick up a tote bag for my brother or my sister,

All for - public TV!

(Uh-oh - I just realized I've committed to sing during the Valley Rescue Mission telethon March 25. Please DON'T call until after I'm through with my songs. Otherwise, I might think you want me off the air.)

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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9 MAR 04: LET'S PLAY HOT POTATO

The buck was passed again Monday in the Kenneth Walker investigation. Well, maybe we should say the political football....

Georgia Attorney General Thurbert Baker announced Dougherty County District Attorney Ken Hodges will oversee the Kenneth Walker case. We can already count two winners from this move - convenience stores in Parrott and Dawson, from lawyers stopping for gas along Highway 520.

Ken Hodges revealed he took possession of the six-volume state report on the Kenneth Walker case last week, and already has it in Albany. Uh-oh, Hodges may be in trouble already - because civil rights groups couldn't watch him open the Government Center vault.

Ken Hodges told one TV reporter his study of the Kenneth Walker case probably will be "not as fast as some would like." This probably came as a surprise to many people - because both supporters and opponents of David Glisson have made up their minds, without even seeing the state report.

Attorney General Thurbert Baker said in a statement he chose Ken Hodges for the Kenneth Walker investigation because Hodges is "willing to make tough calls." This apparently means some people are NOT willing to make tough calls. Take Sheriff Ralph Johnson on the night Walker was shot....

The Georgia Attorney General noted Ken Hodges even had the courage to prosecute an Assistant Police Chief in Dougherty County for bribery. Somewhere inside the Government Center, District Attorney Gray Conger must feel like he's chopped liver.

Speaking of the Government Center, Rainbow/PUSH Coalition President William Howell submitted a first set of petitions Monday to recall Sheriff Ralph Johnson. Howell needed 100 names, and he turned in 120. Maybe now African-American
children will see the importance of learning math skills.

William Howell says he's confident he can get 30,000 signatures from registered voters, to force Sheriff Ralph Johnson into a recall election. Talk about overconfidence! We couldn't get 30,000 total votes on the sales tax question last
November.

Sheriff Ralph Johnson is up for re-election in November. William Howell says he has a candidate in mind to run against the Sheriff, but he will NOT name that person at this time. Hmmmmm.... is D.J. Jones really the right person for this job?

All these developments occurred after Monday's Ledger-Enquirer published a letter from David Glisson's parents. They say the former deputy is NOT racist, and grew up around African-American friends. That sounds good - but how often has he eaten collards?

Leroy and Katie Glisson revealed in their newspaper letter former Deputy David Glisson asked for an African-American judge to preside over his wedding two decades ago. Is that why he lives in Salem - because right-wing Columbusites ran
him out of town?

BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Just as we figured, "Martha Stewart Living" remained on NBC-38 Monday, three days after her conviction on four stock fraud counts. Of course, this station doesn't have a local news department - so the managers might not know yet that she's guilty.

I didn't realize until this past weekend that NBC-38 had moved Martha Stewart's show to 12:00 noon. That means the end of "Coffee Break" - or at least it did. With Stewart's conviction, Don Nahley might be able to stay off the unemployment line after all.

(The ratings for "Coffee Break" never were very high - so NBC-38 must have decided it's better to have no coffee at all, than something that's really weak.)

WLTZ plans another schedule change next Monday. "Dr. Phil" will move from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m., which means "NBC Nightly News" will be on at 6:30 with the other network newscasts. I'm pleased about this, because now I can focus all my attention on staring at the good-looking Victoria Recaño on "Inside Edition." No wait, WATCHING her....

But back to Martha Stewart: did you hear what local Kmart customers said Monday about the conviction? ALL of them said they'll keep buying items with the Martha Stewart name on them. Come to think of it, she's a big backer of Democrats - and they supported President Clinton, through all the sins HE committed.

(We'd like to nominate Joanne Cavis to replace Martha Stewart as "Domestic Diva." After all, Cavis used to co-host "The Answer Book" on TV-16, so she MUST know about as much.)

Now other quick thoughts from a very busy Monday:

+ More complaints surfaced about high school attendance lines, at a Muscogee County School Board work session. There may be only one fair, impartial way to settle this - have a first-grader draw them with an Etch-a-Sketch.

(One critic of the proposed attendance lines complained: "Northside got what they wanted." So what's wrong with that? All the other high schools have had their turn for decades....)

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley named Troy King Attorney General, to finish the term of new federal appeals judge Bill Pryor. Somewhere Roy Moore must be wondering how Satan disrupted his plans....

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Square 8 theatres: Thank you for changing your sign, so only one movie title appears on a line. Seeing "Passion Twisted" the other day made me wonder if you were making a religious commentary.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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7 MAR 04: OFFICER FRIENDLY

From the weekend e-mail comes this revealing message:

Dear Blog,

I would like to make mention of how quiet it has gotten since the autopsy report came back on Kenneth Walker. I have also notice a swing in public opinion about this case, I believe that people are beginning to see the truth. To help the truth get out a little better I would like to invite you and your readers to visit www.friendsofdavidglisson.com and please keep an eye out for more of the truth on this site.

Thank you

Tim

Thank YOU, Tim, for alerting us to this web site which was set up this past week. An online argument is a bit easier for us to take than a panel of lawyers on a cable news show.

The home page of "Friends of David Glisson" sets a tone right away. It tells visitors NOT to post any discriminatory comments in the guestbook. So if you prefer classical music to country, you might not want to say so here....

An "events" section on the pro-Glisson web site mentions a "Home Run Derby" next weekend to benefit the former Deputy's Relief Fund. This in itself shows sensitivity and compassion - because they could have organized a turkey shoot.

The Friends of David Glisson web site is rather simple at this point, with only five main pages. One has the statement attorney Richard Hagler read for reporters about ten days ago - and another has the title "The Truth." Is that separation just
a coincidence?!

Part of "the truth" on the pro-Glisson web site is that Sheriff Ralph Johnson is a "Judas" for firing the Deputy. Of course, civil rights groups claim THEY have "the truth" in this case as well - so it's no wonder many residents feel a bit like Pontius
Pilate.

Hey Judas," the web site practically taunts Sheriff Ralph Johnson, "how does it feel to walk the halls of the Sheriffs Department and have to look your deputys in the eyes, or do you even leave your office? For that matter, can you even look at yourself in the mirror?" Well, at least the Sheriff lets us look at HIM. The web site doesn't even have Glisson's picture.

(Do you think David Glisson's "friends" actually might sign the Rainbow/PUSH coalition's petition to recall the Sheriff? I'd like to see the moment that happens - because it might rival some showdowns on the Jerry Springer Show.)

The page with "the truth" repeats some of the points about Kenneth Walker which have reached our InBox in recent weeks. "Kenneth Walker made some very bad choices that night," it says -- such as "cruising the streets with his friends and
drinking and doing cocaine." The message here is clear: just say no to car-pooling.

"David Glisson is many things," a separate page on the web site says, "but the racist monster the NAACP, and the local news media, and other political preditors have made him out to be, is not one of them." Of course, relatives say Kenneth Walker is NOT a cocaine-user, either. And then I wonder why people say I'm too hard on myself, when I admit mistakes.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's another message somewhat related to law enforcement, from Robert:

seems as if we have two comp plan issues in columbus at the very same time.the COMPREHENSIVE PLAN. which may becom known in the future as NOT the Comprehensive Plan but the REPREHENSIBLE PLAN !!!! remember folks, you heard it here first.....

a COMPENSATION PLAN , as in better pay for public safety employees.

These deserve MORE attention.

Robert probably already realizes many people in Columbus find the "comprehensive plan" hard to comprehend. After all, didn't it say something once about a new marina?

As for the public safety "compensation plan," police and fire groups talked with Columbus Council members about that this past week. So far there's no solution - but maybe the answer's right in front of all our noses. If the Girl Scouts can raise a fortune selling cookies, how about "Brownies for Badges?"

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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6 MAR 04 (special early edition): FIELD TRIP!

Did you see the two faculty members from Muscogee County schools in New York on ABC's "Good Morning America" Friday morning? When I saw them, my first thought was: "This re-drawing of attendance lines is getting out of hand...."

But seriously: the Principal of Forrest Road Elementary and an Assistant Principal at Hardaway High were in the audience behind Good Morning America weathercaster Tony Perkins. This immediately raised questions in my mind. What were they doing in New York - finding Superintendent John Phillips a different chief of staff?

The little signs held by the Columbusites didn't provide any clues. One referred to them as "little peaches in the Big Apple." So wait a minute here - it's still OK to call a woman a "Georgia Peach," but it's offensive to call a man a "Georgia Cracker?"

I had to call Hardaway High to find out why the assistant principal was in New York. I'm relieved to report it has nothing to do with the "toddler cam" segment which aired a few minutes later.

A volunteer parent answering phones at Hardaway explained the high school choir is touring New York, and the assistant principal is there as a chaperone. He didn't know if the group is singing at Carnegie Hall - but they could have hustled to
federal court Friday afternoon, and sing songs to cheer up Martha Stewart.

As for the Forrest Road Principal, she has a daughter in the Hardaway High choir - so she's on the New York trip as a chaperone as well. How many New York residents will see that sign, and ask what a forest is?

I can't help admitting I'm jealous a bit for the Hardaway High School choir. I was in a high school choir for three years, and we never took a field trip to New York. Our big event was a one-hour bus ride to the state choral competition in Baldwin City, Kansas - where I almost missed a bus home, because the restaurants spent their good sweet time making fries.

While Hardaway's choir traveled to New York, Columbus High School's ladies' basketball team fought hard for the state title Friday. While the final score was 62-59 against them, the Blue Devils are NOT losers. The real losers are the GPB
announcers, who failed to keep track of Ketia Swanier's fouls.

Columbus Coach Ashley Powell took Ketia Swanier out of the game when she picked up her fourth foul early in the fourth quarter. Yet the GPB broadcasters seemed oblivious to the situation. They seemed happier simply to know their voices
were going all over the state.

Only when Ketia Swanier picked up her fifth foul did the GPB announcers even notice she had a foul problem. They so much loved her spins, they overlooked her sins....

(You'd think Beau Bock, introduced as "the dean of Georgia sportscasters," would know well enough to keep up with players in foul trouble. After all, the REAL dean of Georgia sports would have. Larry Munson would have worried himself half to death over it.)

GPB's Phil Proctor let Columbus High Assistant Principal Judy Whitt give a free plug for the school at halftime. She explained CHS "draws from all socioeconomic backgrounds...." So why does the proposed new attendance plan have teens from the Warren Williams Apartments heading all the way over to Hardaway?

BIG PREDICTION: NBC-38 will keep showing "Martha Stewart Living," even though she's been convicted of four stock fraud counts. Al Fleming will find some weird way to justify this, even though he flamed Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's Super Bowl show.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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5 MAR 04: CARD GAMES

Thursday was a big day in midtown Columbus, as a new Chick-fil-A restaurant opened on Wynnton Road. There was only one troubling thing about it. If it's on the north side of the street, does that mean "Columbus South" is being slapped in the face again?

Several people I know had predicted a big traffic jam on Wynnton Road, because of the new Chick-fil-A. But I drove by the restaurant at 12:09 p.m. without any slowdown or problems. Cars were at a standstill in the drive-through lane - but I've
noticed even the guys in the Sonic commercials don't mind that.

Remember the free food offer for the first 100 people through the door at the new Chick-fil-A? It turns out about 300 were outside at the opening time of 6:00 a.m. Maybe the 200 others hoped the first 100 would fall asleep, and never hear the
doors open.

The arrival of Chick-fil-A to Wynnton Road even brought a welcome message down the street, on Flournoy and Calhoun Realty's electronic sign. But for some reason, Georgia Bariatrics a few blocks away didn't note the opening at all.

A Chick-fil-A sandwich costs about two dollars - but a woman at the Bradley Park Drive restaurant told me Thursday the restaurant chain accepts credit cards only for orders of $50 or more. I guess this means the mascots are CASH cows....

I was curious about Chick-fil-A's policy because I noticed this week Wendy's restaurants in Columbus are accepting credit cards now. So you can have "Biggie" fries and drinks now, and biggie interest rates later.

Wendy's now accepts Master Card, Visa, Discover - and even American Express. Remember when an American Express card was considered a sign of prestige and upscale status? Using one for a "single with cheese" doesn't seem right at all....

What does it say when a fast-food hamburger restaurant chain starts accepting credit cards? Either the price of a burger has climbed too high, or customers truly ARE overeating.

Wendy's joins Captain D's, Arby's and Popeye's (and I'm probably missing somebody) on the list of "fast-food" restaurants accepting credit cards. So far McDonald's and Burger King in Columbus are NOT accepting them. Apparently their
tight-budget customers are smart enough to find the value menus.

Yet I was surprised the other day to shop at a Family Dollar store in Phenix City, and learn they only accept debit cards - NOT credit cards. Apparently this company only wants the managers to have instant gratification from plastic, not customers.

The Dolly Madison "bread store" on Victory Drive with the low-priced gasoline works the same way. It accepts debit cards, and even checks - but NOT credit cards. What's the reasoning behind this policy? Are pieces of plastic with bank names more trustworthy than pieces with pictures of NASCAR drivers on them?

I admit I don't have a debit card, because my bank charges a monthly fee for them. And since that fee would be higher than the monthly interest on my checking account, it smells like a racket.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back to the restaurant watch, as Robert responds to the name change near Manchester Expressway from "Old Mill Towne" to the "4^th Quarter":

Or ....Down with the Count!!! maybe next try they could call it the Fifth Quarter Restaurant. And I say again, your blog is just something else to distract us. ;-) smile. LOL

What's with these accusations that this blog is distracting people? I'm willing to let you finish your drive to work, before you read it on your laptop.

BLOG UPDATE: One of the most outrageous things I've heard all year surfaced Thursday - a "final exam" former Georgia assistant basketball coach Jim Harrick Jr. gave Bulldog players in a physical education class. [10 Mar 03] Most of the questions are so simple that even Presidential candidates can answer them.

I heard some of the 20 test questions on Neal Boortz's talk show and thought he was joking. But an Atlanta TV station posted them on its web site, so they must be legitimate. Here are some of the stumpers Jim Harrick Jr. asked:

+ "How many goals are on a basketball court?" In college, I think there's only one - to get a big salary in the N.B.A.

+ "How many halves are in a college basketball game?" When Georgia's played this season, there's usually been only one -- because the Bulldogs are have-nots.

+ "How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a basketball game?" College students can't stand trick questions like this on a final exam....

+ "In your opinion, who is the best Division I assistant coach in the country?" This question was multiple choice -- and yes, teacher Jim Harrick Jr. WAS one of the four choices. Was he going to use these tests as references, and apply for a head coaching job somewhere?

Now other fun facts to know and tell about Thursday:

+ A strong smell of smoke drifted across South Commons and the Historic District after dark. Was that a controlled burn at Fort Benning - or someone at Continental Carbon taking revenge?

+ The Muscogee County Election Board fired one precinct manager and reprimanded another, for poll problems on Tuesday. Board members say the two left memory cards in voting machines, after the polls closed. If only humans could have memory cards inserted in THEM, to help remember these things....

+ Brian Sharpe's "Restaurant Report Card" revealed the KFC near downtown Opelika has been shut down, until leaks in the roof can be fixed. That sweet tea DID taste a bit diluted.

+ Columbus High's girls' basketball team beat Stone Mountain 53-52, and will play for the Class AAAA title this afternoon. We wish them well -- but can't help noting the Blue Devils almost squandered a 23-point lead. If they had lost, we might
have called them "Blew Devils" instead.

(So is it fair to say today is the Ketia "Swanier Swan Song?")

+ Sportscaster Kirsten Olesen confessed on her competing local blog that she trimmed her bangs too short. Oh no! Somewhere, 2003 Burkard Award winner Amy Giuliano must be breathing a big sigh of relief [5 Jan] - while newcomer Cheryl Reneé gains on all of them.

+ Instant Message to WRBL sportscaster Dan Edward: The proper way to say the school's name is "Saint Pius the TENTH." The "X" is a Roman numeral - and NOT because Pope Pius was related to Malcolm X.

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, due to our annual spring clean-up....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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4 MAR 04: THE FLIP-FLOP SHOP

Columbus city officials confirmed Wednesday an "amnesty" for parking ticket violators quietly was changed. People who pay off old fines during March will have to pay interest after all. Which OPEC country consulted the city on a deal like this?

You may recall METRA announced last month March would be "amnesty month," with scofflaws being allowed to pay old tickets at face value [11 Feb]. But it turns out Columbus Council changed its mind about that, apparently during a retreat at Callaway Gardens -- which is strange, because Callaway has been lowering prices to win visitors back.

Someone apparently convinced Columbus Council the city budget couldn't make it without the interest from traffic fines. If money is THAT tight, maybe the city's next retreat should be under a picnic shelter at Flat Rock Park.

(You don't think that persuasion came from the Assistant City Managers, do you? You know, the ones who now have the $90,000 salaries....)

METRA warns if you owe parking fines and don't take advantage of the March "amnesty" period, your car could be booted by the city come April. Then you might have to do something unthinkable - and actually ride a METRA bus.

It doesn't look good for METRA's Lisa Goodwin to publicly announce a "face-value" amnesty, then have Columbus Council quietly change it behind her. It's almost like John Edwards saying for weeks he didn't want to be John Kerry's running mate....

As that flip-flop became public knowledge Wednesday, the Columbus Council's Public Safety Committee met for four hours in private with police and fire organizations. Nothing was settled on important benefit issues - such as the cost of tickets to the firefighters' ball.

Randy Robertson of the Fraternal Order of Police says the main topic at the meeting was pay. It's curious to see Columbus officers complain about low salaries hurting the quality of personnel and forcing them to leave town - then turn on Atlanta radio stations and hear police organizations there make the very same complaints.

Randy Robertson claims all of a sudden, some Columbus city leaders are trying to put "political spin" on the issue of police pay and benefits. Huh?!?! Don't tell me Robertson is going to pull a Nathan Suber, and oppose a sales tax increase....

E-MAIL UPDATE: The David Glisson - Kenneth Walker debate goes on. Here's a unique (and lengthy) perspective from "Mel Del":

I am a proud, African America, middle aged, educated, woman. I am not an Uncle Tom either. I live here in Columbus Ga. and I realize that most people that read this will be upset; however, I do not believe that Martian Luther King died for us to have equal rights for us to abuse that right as the white man did before. We are the only race that kills each other but when a white man does it that is an injustice. What is the difference? A death is a death no matter who does the killing. This email is asking for support for David Glisson. He is honest man with twenty years of irreproachable service at the Sheriff Department. The city of Columbus cannot believe that a man of his avail would shoot a person without feeling that his life was in danger. I would have done the same thing in his position. In hindsight, David was wrong, but if he had been right then he would be dead. The attorney for the Walker family wants Columbus to believe that Kenneth Walker did not do drugs. Then why was he at an apartment that was under surveillance, expecting a shipment of cocaine? The shipment was to arrive in a vehicle that was identical to the one that he was riding in. Now, at an even further stretch of the imagination, we are to believe that cocaine was ""Planted"" in his body. The precise drug found in the apartment that very night!

David Glisson is a veteran deputy and there are too many coincidences leading up to the shooting. I will have to go with what I feel is right!

Columbus needs to support the honest, hard working law enforcement officers of this town while we still have then to support!

It is not "Open season"" in America. Yes, there are injustices happening all over America to the "Black Man" but this is not one of them. The NAACP is right to investigate and be sure that it was not a racial killing; but they need to be sure that they are doing it for the right reason. Political predators need to stay out of the way and let justice be handled.

African Americans really, do you believe that Kenneth Walker was there delivering a VCR? Who uses a VCR anymore? If drugs were found before and after the shooting at the scene, is it at least conceivable that maybe they were ""trading"" for drugs.

As far as the sheriff department being compared to the Taliban of Afghanistan, (people here is your ignorance again) if you think that the sheriff department of Muscogee County is anything to compare to the taliban then perhaps you should go visit Afghanistan before you make such remarks! Oh yea, I hear about the deputies doing forced genital mutilations all the time; I am so sick of hearing about it. Really people, can you imagine"" Come on Martha, get the kids, there''s gonna be a lynching in the ole town to night! Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Why, just last week I went to a see a woman hanged at the soccer complex. The Muscogee County Sheriff Department is just like those terrorist. How dare they try to keep the streets clean safe and drug free! Oh, the terrorism of it all, I am surprised that we are allowed to speak our mind without being stoned to death!

The shooting of Kenneth Walker is indeed a horrendous tragedy. I cannot imagine how Mrs. Walker must feel knowing that she will never see her husband and father to her daughter again; however, I do not understand screaming discrimination because Kenneth Walker refused to comply with the law. That was a bad choice and it cost him his life. Deputy Glisson was doing his job to keep our streets safe for our children. Deputy Glisson thought the suspect had a gun. ""What, you actually mean to tell me that a sheriff thought that an African American had a gun""? What a ridiculous notion! We all know that an African American would not have a gun! For that matter that was not a drug house; AfricanAmerican''s would never be around drugs. Some non-AA must have told them that was a baptismal are something. They were set up, framed! Now that we have established the fact that, yes, AA (the same as any other race) could have been there to buy or sell drugs, it is plausible that the informant could have been correct about them having a gun. There was a gun and drugs found inside the apartment. Kenneth Walker could have been carrying it.

Show your hands means what? ""Do nothing that I tell you to do""? No, let us try this again. When a police officer tells you to show your hands and get on the ground, what do you do? Some ""People"" seem to be under the impression that if they are an African American that disqualifies them from having to be a law-abiding citizen and doing what a law enforcement officer instructs them to do. ""I do not have to do what a white sheriff tells me to do, that is discrimination! Wrong move! Although it has never happened to me personally, I have seen enough television to know that when a lot of sheriffs s start screaming at me to get on the ground and show my hands that is exactly what I am going to do! How is it that three of the four men knew what to do? This man must have been intelligent. He was a member of the Omega Psi Phi.

Being black does not give a person the right to do what ever they want. The laws are set up to protect people, not abuse them. I do not feel that Glisson did anything but his job!

Mel Del, you offer a lot of things to consider here. For starters, can a woman be an "Uncle Tom?" Are they called "Aunt Tommie," or something else?

I have a new theory about the traces of cocaine found by the coroner in Kenneth Walker's body. Was Walker drinking Coca-Cola on that night in December? If so, we might end the rumors and confirm that "secret formula" after all.

It appears to this point, many "political predators" indeed HAVE stayed out of the way of the Kenneth Walker case. For instance, did you notice Jesse Jackson in Atlanta the other day? He never came to Columbus - and was more concerned about how Haiti's former leader was doing.

"Who uses a VCR anymore?" Now hold on a minute here! As soon as I can figure out how to get that blinking clock off 12:00, I'll be getting to it....

(I'm not sure a VCR really is a good "trade" for illegal drugs. But I certainly wouldn't expect drug-runners to swap digital cameras.)

The comparison of Sheriff's officers to the Taliban came from a pamphlet printed by the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance [2 Jan]. I agree with Mel Del, that the comparison seems a bit exaggerated. For one thing, the Nation of Islam held a "Savior's Day" service last Sunday at the Bradley Theatre - and no one's complained yet about officers shutting it down.

Truly skin color should NOT disqualify people from "having to be a law-abiding citizen." The standard should be other things - like the ability to afford a top-dollar lawyer.

Now a quick check of other Wednesday notes:

+ The Muscogee County School District reported it's lowered the number of teen depression and suicide cases by 40 percent. On the one hand, that's very good news. But on the other hand, these teens risk having relapses -- say, if they fail
achievement tests.

+ People camped out all night outside a new Chick-fil-A store on Wynnton Road. The first 100 people in line at 6:00 a.m. Thursday get free food for a year. Everyone else will have to go back to nibbling on tiny samples at Publix stores.

(How interesting to see Reggie Foster from Sunny 100-FM in the line outside Chick-fil-A Wednesday. If she needs free food that badly, it may be time to rework her deal to do Georgia Freight commercials.)

+ Downtown Albany lost power for more than 40 minutes, after birds flew into a substation and caused a short circuit. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals now is urging everyone in the city to buy "bird-safe candles."

+ One night after upsetting the Los Angeles Lakers, basketball's Atlanta Hawks lost to lowly Cleveland by 32 points. That must have been a stunt double playing in Shaquille O'Neal's uniform Tuesday night....

+ Instant Message to Victoryland in Shorter, Alabama: The addition of bingo games to a dog-racing track was one thing. But adding a "Bingo Theater" with a guest Elvis impersonator?! May I assume you and Callaway Gardens are going after different sets of customers?

COMING FRIDAY: Good and bad sets of cards.... and e-mail about something other than the Kenneth Walker case....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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3 MAR 04: KERRY ON

How many newspapers do you think will have the headline today: "KERRY CARRIES GEORGIA"?! And how many John Edwards supporters wish it would say instead, "KERRY OUT?"

If network TV reports are right, Senator John Edwards will give up the fight to become President today. Once again, the mill family falls short of ultimate success....

(Didn't John Edwards say just the other day he was staying in the race, no matter what happened on "Super Tuesday?" If you voted for him, does it feel good to know you chose a lying lawyer?)

Reporters in Atlanta say the election night party for John Edwards broke up quickly, and supporters never saw any vote counts from various states. When the chips are down, even U.S. politicians can start acting like North Korean ones.

The turnout in Columbus and across Georgia was described as "slow" for the Presidential primary. Which once again reinforces those bad Southern stereotypes....

It was curious to watch Columbus TV coverage of the primary results. One station was live at 10:00 p.m. with Nancy Boren from the Election Board. Another station reran its 6:00 p.m. newscast on Channel 16 for a second time - with reporters suggesting the polls still were open.

Nancy Boren admits some Muscogee County poll workers will need to be retrained, because a few dozen voters were given incorrect ballots. There was one set for Democrats, one set for Republicans -- and a third for those who care more about flags atop state buildings than leaders atop our national government.

As of Tuesday night, more than two-thirds of Georgia's voters preferred the latest state flag to the 2001 "historical" version. So perhaps that ends the jokes about "Six Flags Over Georgia...."

I talked by phone Tuesday with a woman who asked once the vote counts are final, we never talk about the Georgia state flag again. I should have told this woman to call every farm owner in Sumter County and make that request - to see how little that gets her.

The "Southern Heritage Association" claims the Georgia flag referendum was bogus, because the 1957 banner with the large Confederate battle emblem was not a choice. We heard the same sort of argument last week - from Nicole Kidman fans, about the Oscars.

BLOG UPDATE: The Rainbow/PUSH Coalition announced a campaign Tuesday to recall Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson. In many Georgia counties, people can't even recall the name of the sheriff unless it's election time.

Rainbow/PUSH leader William Howell says Sheriff Ralph Johnson fired Deputy David Glisson two months too late, over the Kenneth Walker shooting. We never realized the sheriff had so much in common with the owners of the Atlanta Falcons.

Georgia law says a recall election can be held if the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition gets 30 percent of Muscogee County's registered voters to sign petitions. This might happen, if the group convinces enough people Sheriff Ralph Johnson somehow is behind all the mill closings.

Dr. William Howell still is upset about Sheriff Ralph Johnson not releasing the "cop-cam" videotape of the Kenneth Walker shooting. Howell is convinced the tape will show David Glisson is "guilty." While he's at it, he should tell Gary Sheffield to stop denying he never used steroids with Atlanta's baseball team.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION: We've posted a new web poll question asking whether or not Sheriff Ralph Johnson should be recalled. If you're concerned about this recall actually happening, keep one thing in mind - David Glisson lives in Salem, so he can't run for the job.

Here's what else we noticed on a busy Tuesday:

+ A giant Ten Commandments display was unveiled in Hamilton, across the street from the Harris County Courthouse. He challenge for county commissioners now will be to avoid coveting one of their own -- because "thou shalt not covet" is number ten.

(The new display cost $2,400, and was put up by the "Hamilton International Breakfast Club." It says something strange about this area when that club has been around longer the International House of Pancakes in Columbus.)

+ AFLAC announced it ranks fourth on Fortune magazine's list of "most admired" insurance companies. I'd tell you who the top three are -- BUT Fortune's web site only lets subscribers see that information. So it's at the bottom on my list of
most admired magazines.

+ Auburn University confirmed former President William Walker is still drawing his $270,000 salary. He's a "special counsel" to interim President Ed Richardson - even though he's on administrative leave until August, and hasn't met yet with Richardson! Now all we need are their Instant Messenger names....

COMING THURSDAY: E-mail from someone who denies he's an "Uncle Tom...."

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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2 MAR 04: DUTY CALLS?

Monday was an outlandish day in Lee County, Alabama court. A capital murder trial could not start, because almost 140 members of the jury pool never showed up! Did that many people oversleep, after watching Sunday night's Oscars?

Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones says only 36 people reported for jury duty, out of 175 on the summons list. The rest must be taking that John Grisham book "Runaway Jury" literally....

Lee County District Attorney Nick Abbett says he's never seen a case where so many people on the jury pool list never reported at the courthouse. He certainly wouldn't have this much trouble if it was a college basketball pool.

Do the math, and only about 20 percent of the people who received summonses in Lee County showed up for jury duty Monday. And to make things even stranger, it's Alabama - so that's not the same 20 percent who will vote in today's Georgia Presidential primary.

So why were so many people absent from jury duty in Lee County? Officials admit they might have an old list of names, with many people having moved away. Or then again, maybe they should cut a deal with Auburn University so jury service
means extra credit in classes.

(Do you think there's a popular uprising starting across Alabama? People won't serve on juries, because guilty criminals turn around and go free due to overcrowded jails and prisons.)

Because the jury pool was too small, the murder trial of Travis Frazier was delayed until late June. Frazier already has waited three years for his trial to begin - and he's not even a suspected member of al-Qaeda.

I personally don't feel that much outrage at what happened in Lee County. For years, I've been part of church denominations which tell members they should NOT serve on jury duty - because Christians aren't supposed to judge. How these groups dismissed ministers who might have disrespected the leadership, I have no idea.

(In fact, I wish Hank Hill of "King of the Hill" hadn't given away our denominational secrets. You may have heard him talk about how he doesn't register to vote, so he can stay away from jury duty....)

As it happens, Georgians vote today in the state's Presidential primary. Alabama doesn't have theirs until June 1 - so it's a bit like one rubber stamp following another.

Thousands of Georgians took advantage of "advance voting" and cast Presidential primary ballots last week. Why don't we do this for the general election, too? Have everybody vote early, and Georgia's electoral votes could be settled by June.

Yet Georgia Secretary of State Cathy Cox predicts the turnout for the Presidential primary will be low. There was one sure-fire way to draw a crowd at the polls today - but state legislators didn't put the right flag in the referendum.

E-MAIL UPDATE: In the rush of things, I neglected to share this e-mail about (well, sort of about) the weekend public safety pay protest:

Havent had time to peruse (lol) all your topics, but wonder if you have seen any thing on Community Crime Statistics in local media, etc as applied to the performance of Columbus PD versus pay. I have some enlightening numbers and there is a website where research can be done on CRIME indexes.

Would like a contact who is a Columbus Police Officer to contact me at my email.

Thanks. 1 chattahoochee bear

No, Mr. Bear, I have not seen or heard about any statistics along these lines. I guess you're asking if a higher-paid police force leads to lower crime rates. Well, it certainly would make officers less prone to bribe-taking.

Now other quick bites from a Monday which was a real taste of spring:

+ The Muscogee County School District held a second public hearing on redrawing attendance lines for high schools. One parent warned Jordan would have students from four housing projects, "and that means only one thing - death." It's a
wonder bench-clearing bloodbaths erupt every time Carver plays Spencer.

+ Alabama's Kennedy Winston was named the Southeastern Conference men's basketball player of the week for the third time this season. That's nice - but I'm still trying to figure why he hasn't changed his last name to Nextel.

+ Instant Message to my family back home in Kansas: We hit 77 degrees in Columbus Monday. Don't any of you have spring break or vacation time coming? I'll even let you share my SPF-50 sunscreen.

(And one thing more, in the spirit of primary day: I'm Richard Burkard - and I approved this blog entry.)

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

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1 MAR 04: BLUE IN THE FACE

Instant Message to all the visiting college softball players in Columbus: Thank you for coming -- but no, that was NOT an official city welcoming committee honking and standing along 4^th Street over the weekend. After all, they claim they don't have enough money to go inside the gates to watch your games.

Dozens of public safety workers and their families spent a second day Sunday staging a public protest along 4^th Street. They say police and fire department employees need more in pay and benefits. Hey, so do I - so will you officers please stop issuing tickets?

The public safety protest was only a short distance from my apartment, so I walked over to it Sunday morning. But of course, I was on my best behavior. This was certainly the wrong time to cross Veterans Parkway against the light.

Imagine my surprise to find Muscogee County Marshal Ken Suddeth on the protest line. He explained he was there because the current situation is a "crisis." I didn't think to ask him when was the last time he gave one of his aides a raise.

Randy Robertson with the Fraternal Order of Police told me the weekend protest involved several related issues. One of them is "pay compression" - which I thought happened when I squeezed all my dollar bills into my wallet.

I asked Randy Robertson what the visiting softball teams from across the country might think of the protest line. Robertson said the Convention and Visitors Bureau and the Sports Council "try to paint a beautiful picture...." but he said
"there are problems in Columbus, Georgia." Wow, for once the law officers and civil rights groups agree on something.

Randy Robertson dared to suggest if nothing else works to improve police and fire pay, it might be time to ask Columbus voters to end the property tax freeze. There's one group certainly rooting for this -- the Chattahoochee County commission, which is looking for new residents and tax revenue.

The Fraternal Order of Police and other groups plan to meet Wednesday with Columbus Council's Public Safety Committee. Hopefully everyone on all sides will be courteous enough to go through the metal detectors first.

Mayor Bob Poydasheff was asked about the weekend protest by public safety employees. He said they have the right to do that, but claimed when it comes to pay, "these are tough times." For instance, consider how much debt the assistant city managers must have had....

Public safety workers say more protests are planned in the weeks to come -- only at businesses such as AFLAC. What's the point of this? To get the company's security guards to make a donation?

It was actually a Sunday doubleheader for me, as I went to Auburn after visiting the protesters. It was a busy Sunday on the plains -- with the college baseball and women's basketball teams at home, and spring football practice opening. I'm not sure which event the trustees decided to micromanage.

I chose to visit the Auburn women's basketball game against Florida, and had the privilege of sitting near "Joe's Mob" - a group of VERY noisy fans who back Auburn coach Joe Ciampi. It was amazing to hear them butter up the two female officials before the game, by saying how nice they looked.

The kind atmosphere soon changed, though, as Florida beat Auburn 71-60. Joe's Mob loudly accused Gator players of standing in the lane all day, of grabbing the jerseys of Tiger players - why, they have great futures as lobbyists in Montgomery.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.