The Blog of Columbus, Georgia : my funny motto

30 MAR 07: BUBBA AND THE BURNING BUSH

The next step came Thursday in the fight for control of Phenix City government. But no, Eve Tidwell is NOT organizing a "God Bless City Managers" rally....

Phenix City Councilman Ray Bush told WRBL he's started a petition drive to have the city's form of government changed. The City Manager style would be eliminated, with a "strong Mayor" style replacing it - since we've come to see Jeff Hardin isn't strong enough to get City Manager Bubba Roberts to resign on his own.

Ray Bush says a strong-Mayor form of government would be better for improving Phenix City's economy. He explains City Managers aren't well known for bringing new businesses to a city. Maybe not - but they know how to delegate such things to The Valley Partnership.

But isn't Ray Bush forgetting something here? The two big job announcements in Phenix City this month have occurred with Bubba Roberts serving as City Manager. Mayor Jeff Hardin still hasn't been able to fulfill that campaign promise to bring a movie theater back to town....

Close watchers of local government probably suspect what Ray Bush is doing has little to do with job growth. Bush is Mayor Jeff Hardin's closest ally on the Phenix City Council - and since they don't have the votes to fire City Manager Bubba Roberts, he's going in a different direction. It's almost like Bush is borrowing from the weather forecasts for a "backdoor cold front."

Ray Bush and the "Concerned Citizens for a Better Phenix City" have about 300 names on petitions so far. If they can get ten percent of the voters in the last city election to sign their names, the question about keeping a City Manager will go on the ballot. Then former Muscogee County Marshal Ken Suddeth can resurface, as a special adviser to help Bubba Roberts keep his job.

Phenix City Councilman John Storey responded to the petition drive by saying there's no need to change the city's form of government right now. If he decides to run for mayor next year and wins, then he might talk about it....

Mayor Jeff Hardin declined to comment on the petition drive, even though he stands to gain the most power from it. Some of us are waiting for a letter to surface, in which the mayor asks Ray Bush to form that "Concerned Citizens" group.

Meanwhile, Jim Wetherington is about to mark three months as Columbus Mayor - and if you'll notice, he's done nothing to remove City Manager Isaiah Hugley. So those rumors from last year's campaign appear to have been bogus. Unless, of course, the mayor tries to follow up that "land swap" with an across-the-river "manager swap."

E-MAIL UPDATE: I have no way to verify this report, so I'll simply post it and comment:

A lady near CSU paid a pet detective from Augusta to search for her lost cat..He arrived with search and rescue dogs..He walked the neighborhood trailing the cat..Never found him..charged her $900 for a 24 hr search...I think I'm in the wrong business..

Maybe the problem was with this detective's method. You bring in search dogs, to look for a cat?! That's a bit like thinking committed Christians can lure Usama bin-Laden out of hiding....

I wondered why a woman would go all the way to Augusta to hire a pet detective. But when I looked in the Columbus Yellow Pages, none of the detectives and "private investigators" mentioned anything about finding animals. Maybe there's a deal in Columbus, so psychics get the first crack at them.

But the fee for cat-searching doesn't surprise me all that much. Some people are so absorbed in their animals that they'll pay hundreds of dollars to track them down. In fact, you wonder why this woman didn't spend some money to put a GPS tracking system around the cat's neck.

(And I'm sorry, but I simply can't resist asking - did this pet detective from Augusta happen to go by the first name of Ace?)

Now for other confirmed discoveries from Thursday's news:

+ The high temperature in Columbus again tied an all-time high for March, at 89 degrees F. I honestly didn't notice it as much this time - so maybe all the pine pollen is providing me with insulation.

+ New Muscogee County Republican Chair Josh McKoon was the guest host of WRCG's "TalkLine." He warned there's pressure on the Library Board to allow residences on land behind the main library. As long as one of them has a giant outdoor swimming pool to match that enclosed natatorium, what's the problem?

+ The United Negro College Fund held its annual "Night of Excellence" at the Trade Center. Please do not confuse this with a typical evening shift at a Waffle House - which is a night of averageness.

+ Jacksonville surprised the Columbus Cottonmouths in the Southern League playoff opener, winning 2-1 in double overtime. Those of you who left the Civic Center before the overtime period began - well, this is why the Pittsburgh Penguins considered moving to Las Vegas, and not here.

(You could tell the playoffs were underway and things were serious, simply by listening to the radio broadcast on WEAM-AM. Mike Vee broke down during the first overtime, and used the "H-word" twice.)

+ Columbus Lions head coach Jason Gibson announced he's changing starting quarterbacks, even though the team is 2-1 and in first place. If this man was in charge of WRBL, everyone on the staff might have been a news anchor by now.

+ Instant Message to WHAL-AM: Congratulations on marking one year as "Viva 1460" this weekend. From what I can tell, you've succeeded so far in blocking all takeovers by the Minuteman Project.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: A special Sunday edition of "Hurtsboro Monday," thanks to someone named Russell....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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-- posted by Richard at 12:10 AM

Thursday, March 29, 2007

29 MAR 07: BAD GUYS WANTED?

It sounded hard to believe, and almost a bit absurd. The Muscogee County Prison is full - yet Columbus soon could have a shortage of inmate labor?! Isn't this a bit like Iran recently deciding to ration gasoline among its residents? [True!]

Yet Columbus Public Services Director Rufus Riggs said Wednesday it's true: the city is at capacity for inmate labor, and soon could have a shortage. You don't think it's because the Army relaxed those enlistment rules....

On an average day, about 300 prison inmates are put to work by the city of Columbus. They ride in the garbage trucks, picking up trash. They clean up Government Center offices late at night. And in a worst-case scenario, I suppose the strongest inmate could be signed by the Cottonmouths for a playoff game or two.

As of Wednesday, the Muscogee County Prison held close to 600 inmates. It's considered "full," so a few suspects actually have been kept in Harris County. I suppose there's more room there - not to mention more money in the budget, to buy top-quality pinto beans for dinner.

Apparently only half the inmates in the Muscogee County prison are considered eligible for city work. Merely guessing here, I suppose some could be disqualified for health reasons. Perhaps some are considered high-risk candidates for escaping. And some don't pick up city garbage because, well, inmates have standards to uphold.

But city officials are concerned that the coming influx at Fort Benning will mean too much work for the available amount of prison labor. For instance, there will be more streets of trash to handle - as if prisoners belong to municipal employees' unions, and are guaranteed no more than an eight-hour work day.

City officials have all sorts of ideas for preventing a shortage of workers for Columbus city tasks. One proposal would expand the county prison, so more potential workers could be locked up. You thought it was about fighting crime - not fighting the city budget for employee pay....

The city of Columbus even is considering hiring day laborers, to handle tasks such as landscaping. At least this would satisfy the construction workers -- who would happily let the city get in trouble for using illegal immigrants.

But all of this seems to miss the core issue. Maybe Columbus is facing a shortage of prison labor because people simply aren't committing crimes like they once did. The new mayor is filling those open police positions - but didn't warn us he'd be scaring other potential employees into different lines of work.

If only we had more prisoners, we'd have more prison labor for garbage routes and cutting grass. Trouble is, the "Jail and Bail" fundraiser for Crimestoppers was a couple of weeks ago - so we missed a great chance to make the arrests more lifelike than ever....

Maybe the city should hire a public relations firm, to promote the work opportunities available if you come to Columbus and get arrested. There's plenty of sunshine for outdoor exercise. You can have a great view of the Chattahoochee, while mowing the Riverwalk lawn. Not to mention all the old-style Southern beans and cornbread you can handle....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to the debate over the dead body, which simply will not die....

To clarify the remains storage issue, as of March 15, 2007 Richard Davis' remains were in a small cardboard box in the DA's office when his parents viewed them. According to all information received by the Davis family, Richard's remains were turned over to that office by the GBI when the trials were over. The skeletal remains have been kept in the DA's office since that time. What type of closet is unclear. One would imagine that it's a place where evidence etc., is kept. We don't think the DA hangs his coat and hat in there as well. But who knows, maybe spending years in that office causes people to be in a terminal state of apathy.

If they are not there now, then they have only recently been moved.

As disturbing as that scenario is, the most disturbing fact is that he is being withheld from his grieving parents.

The Richard T. Davis Foundation For Peace

Are you kidding me?! Well, no I guess you're not. You're saying Gray Conger actually has the body of a murdered Fort Benning soldier in his office! Now I'm wondering if he's planning to rent that office to the Jaycees next October, for a haunted house.

(A soldier's remains in the District Attorney's office?! This is a strange episode of "Monk" just waiting to happen....)

Hoping that didn't ruin your breakfast or lunch, let's move on to a message about Tuesday's main topic:

Re: TV4US

Not sure if you were here back then but just prior to the last two (re & de) regulations of the cable industry. If memory serves, Phenix Cable was quite active in advertising on their own system against it.

What happened though was this…

"In adopting the 1992 Cable Act, Congress stated that it wanted to promote the availability of diverse views and information, to rely on the marketplace to the maximum extent possible to achieve that availability, to ensure cable operators continue to expand their capacity and program offerings, to ensure cable operators do not have undue market power, and to ensure consumer interests are protected in the receipt of cable service. The Commission has adopted regulations to implement these goals."

"In adopting the Telecommunications Act of 1996, Congress noted that it wanted to provide a pro-competitive, de-regulatory national policy framework designed to accelerate rapidly private sector deployment of advanced telecommunications and information technologies and services to all Americans by opening all telecommunications markets to competition. The Commission has adopted regulations to implement the requirements of the 1996 Act and the intent of Congress."

http://www.fcc.gov/mb/facts/csgen.html

As usual, when you mix matter and antimatter… you get a real mess. You will have also no doubt noted that both 1992 and 1996 were general election years too.

Columbus has a fair bit of diversity but nary an overlap in coverage areas between operators… that I am aware of.

In Phenix City… we have Phenix Cable… err, make that 'Cable TV (or nothing) of East Alabama' and maybe two or three Satellite Services… the latter requiring 100 year contracts that demand bodily fluid samples before you finally get a box of electronics dumped on your doorstep with installation instructions tucked neatly into fortune cookies and written in Mandarin Chinese.

Of course, you could spring for the cost of a featured 'professional installation'. This is where two guys in yellowed undershirts (wife beaters) come in a 1973 F-100 and drill holes in your home for mud dawbers to nest and leave strange stains on your patio furniture… but only after duct taping the dish to your mailbox post.

Sincerely.

One of those Phenix City Bloggers

I missed the discussion in this area several years ago about cable regulation. But it's clear that in one area, competition made no noticeable difference at all. Neither Columbus nor Phenix City has real "public access channels," for ordinary citizens to have their own programs. But TV-16 is starting to look that way a little bit again -- apparently needing the money from people paying for the time.

Thanks for your comments - and now let's add a few of our own from Wednesday:

+ Judge Bobby Peters issued an injunction, blocking the destruction of any trees along Interstate 185 for billboards. The city of Columbus asked for this temporary restraining order, because it wants I-185 between Columbus and LaGrange declared a "scenic byway." But of course, some of us consider a creative "See Rock City" sign quite scenic....

+ WRBL showed the Phenix City Police trying out three new Dodge Charger squad cars. They're being tested on the streets, before a decision is made on purchasing them - so if you'd like to help, please call the police dispatcher to schedule a high-speed chase down Summerville Road.

+ WXTX "News at Ten" showed a preview of the first play at the Columbus State University Riverpark campus theater. It's presenting "A Midsummer Night's Dream" this weekend - which seems to indicate this cast considers global warming a real threat.

(Did I see correctly - the C.S.U. theater faculty includes a man named Tim McGraw? If he couldn't get Faith Hill to come to town for an inaugural concert, that's not a good sign.)

+ GPB reported the Georgia Senate has approved the creation of a "don't honor me" list. Residents can file paperwork requesting buildings or memorials NOT be named after them. This could turn into the most complete database of Jehovah's Witnesses in the state.

(This idea could backfire, you know. The Pastoral Institute might buy a list of the "don't honor me" names, and offer discounted courses to improve your self-esteem.)

+ Columbus State's baseball team stomped Valdosta State 13-3 on "Little League Night" at Ragsdale Field. The coaches of the world champion Northern All-Stars were honored before the game. Which reminds me - has anybody heard whether the Columbus Catfish plan to play some games this spring?

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-- posted by Richard at 12:09 AM

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

28 MAR 07: THUD, THUD, THUD WENT THE TROLLEY

It's one thing to convert "rails to trails." It's another thing to attempt a combination of the two. Columbus Council decided Tuesday to put the trail first, when it comes to connecting downtown with Columbus State University. For now, a planned trolley on that route is with Mister Rogers' trolley - in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

When Columbus voters approved a one-cent sales tax for city projects years ago, part of the money was set aside for a trolley line. It would look old-fashioned, while getting the interest of tourists. All we'd need was a Rice-a-Roni stand, and it would have really felt like San Francisco.

The SPLOST issue included $11 million for a trolley, running roughly from TSYS headquarters to the "train station" Burger King near Peachtree Mall. But city officials disclosed Tuesday the actual cost of such a service would be at least four times that much. It looks like we can start on the sequel to "An Inconvenient Truth...."

City Planning Director Rick Jones told WRBL a trolley line would cost between 40 and 50 million dollars, simply to build. For that much money, the line ought to run much closer to the main library.

On top of that, Rick Jones said the city would have to pay for staff members to operate the trolley. That would mean a couple of drivers, of course. But I'd think students could be recruited at the minimum wage during summer, to ride treadmills and provide the electric power.

Rick Jones hinted he's not really sure a trolley line across Columbus would attract that many tourists. He said most of the riders probably would be Columbus State University students. Serious mall shoppers would have trouble hauling all their bags across Manchester Expressway to the trolley stop, anyway.

Rick Jones insisted the idea of a trolley line through Columbus is not dead yet. It's just that the trail for it will be developed first, with the trolley possibly being added later -- for instance, if Columbus State attracts an exchange student from Amsterdam who brings a used trolley with him.

Perhaps Columbus Council could pay for full trolley service with help from another decision made Tuesday. It voted to hire a Birmingham debt collection company, to handle unpaid landfill fees. This should make for an interesting spring -- seeing guys in long trench coats walking up to tree removal crews....

(Why a Birmingham company for debt collections? It's obviously because Columbus wants a firm that's tough. If you've kept track of Birmingham's murder count the last couple of years, you know how tough people have to be to live there.)

But at least for now, there are "faux trolleys" you can ride around the Columbus area. Phenix City's bus system has a few vehicles which look like old-style trolley cars. METRA has one, which rolls through the Historic District. And about the closest thing to a trolley bell you can ring is on the wall at Long John Silver restaurants.

BLOG UPDATE: A reader complained here Sunday that the PAWS organization doesn't care about the lives of stray kittens. Her complaint has made a Talbot County message board, because that's where she lives -- only she's accused of forgetting the county has an animal control officer for such cases. Maybe she decided you can't be "pro-control" and "pro-life" at the same time?!

But someone else at the Talbot County message board says the county's animal control officer is too busy "planting grass state wide." So he's at least making sure the cats have something to eat. Most of the cats I've owned would have been too smart to touch that poisoned moist stuff.

E-MAIL UPDATE: But the woman who e-mailed us about PAWS has moved on to another issue today....

Dear Mr. District Atty;

You have my very utmost respect as you have been an excellent DA. Your father saved my grandmother's life which increases my regard for you. I am sure you must know that fact makes me most especially proud to have you as our District Atty.

Please help me with this most difficult problem, the following petition.

Sir, I cannot begin to question your integrity, and I remind you that you have my highest respect, but because of my inability to resolve this seemingly incredible assertion, I ask you to help me understand this seemingly bizarre issue, that you would have bodily remains in the DA's office closet? Sir, you are the legal expert, if it is true, I can only ask if it is even legal, or if it is a desecration of the body?

Sir, please tell me that we are all in error. We are all still in shock at the child molestation sentencing of the public defender, and now this unbelievable assertion about you with a skeleton in your closet.

Please tell me that the petition is wrong . Please tell me that you do not now house the skeletal remains of SPC Richard T. Davis in the District Attorney's office closet. If it is true, I don't even want to know why at this point. It is so ludicrous I cannot speak it without cringing, and I beg you to tell me that it is not true.

I ask you to provide me the courtesy of a reply, and hopefully a denial, so that I may tell others that it is untrue, that you do not house the skeletal remains of an Iraqi War vet in your office closet. If it is true, it is perhaps, and hopefully, unprecedented.

Thank you.

Respectfully Yours,

Deborah Owens

Hmmmm -- I figured the most likely elected official in Columbus to have a "skeleton in the closet" would be Councilor Jerry "Pops" Barnes. He's a practicing nurse, after all....

Check Monday's blog entry for a link to the petition drive Ms. Owens is mentioning. I would imagine in reality, Richard Davis's remains are still kept at the Columbus morgue -- where this case has given a very new meaning to "The Big Chill."

Tuesday's letter about Cascade Hills Church and its board brought a follow-up message:

Mr Burkard,

Thanks for your answer to my email. I think this part of your answer might have been somewhat tounge in cheek. However, if you use the argument contained in the response below that would mean Jim Bakker was really doing something right.... "Do you think Mrs. Purvis would look good in overdone mascara?"

"However Cascade Hills operates its organization, it must be doing something right. The latest "Columbus Community News" shows it has 7,500 members. Saint Anne Catholic Church is second in size in Columbus, at 4,655 -- and it serves free bread and wine to members all the time."

Thanks,

--Mark

Tongue-in-cheek -- me?!?! Since we always seem to have new readers pass our way, please review the box in the top right corner. We tend to be humorous in what we write here. And after watching "Real Time" the last few weekends, I've concluded Debbie Purvis needs no mascara whatsoever - just hugs and kisses from her husband every day.

Now a quick check of other Tuesday topics:

+ The Russell County Commission endorsed a five-cent per-bottle beverage tax, to pay for various projects. Some of the money could be used to pave dirt roads - with people littering plastic soda bottles all along the roadsides, to remind you how the work was funded.

+ Russell County Commissioners also backed an $11,000 raise for Sheriff Tommy Boswell. If the state legislature approves, he'll earn $80,000 a year - which I think finally would entitle him to advance from Wal-Mart shopping to Publix.

+ Columbus State Rep. Calvin Smyre showed up at the House floor wearing a giant neck brace. It's apparently the result of recent surgery - not from House Republican leaders being that big a pain in the neck.

+ Lanett and Valley announced a compromise, in a recent land feud along Interstate 85. So which city gets custody of King Ford on even-numbered days?

+ Instant Message to Carmike Cinemas: Have you read about this other company's proposal to build a new eight-screen theater in Eufaula? [True/Eufaula Tribune] When do you plan to buy out that company, and shut the idea down?

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-- posted by Richard at 12:06 AM

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

27 MAR 07: ISN'T THIS CHOICE?

Today is an important day in the Georgia General Assembly. Bills have to pass at least one house by today's 30^th day of the 40-day session, or they're dead for the year. It's known as "crossover day" - or if your favorite bill fails, it's "crossed-off day."

State Senator Seth Harp may not be a happy lawmaker on this crossover day. His proposal for a local-option vote on Sunday alcohol sales is stuck in the Senate Rules Committee, and the chair won't let it out for a vote. I never realized the Georgia Capitol had its own version of a "drunk tank."

But there's another bill in the legislature which has been promoted much more. It's the one referred to in commercials, which claim Georgians have NO "real choice" in cable television service. It's for those of you who are still a part of the Bruce Springsteen "57 channels and nothing's on" generation.

The commercials direct you to a web site for "TV choice," promising details on a proposal to save you money on cable TV bills. It turns out to be the work of a political group called "TV4US," which is based outside Washington. So it wants choice in Georgia, while it chooses to have its headquarters hundreds of miles away....

TV4US explains on its web site the goal is threefold: "new choices, better service and lower costs." But this may sound odd to people in Columbus, where three cable companies compete against each other already. If there was a "March madness" discount sale, I admittedly missed it.

The call for "video competition" seems aimed more at smaller Georgia towns, which have only one cable provider. Of course, they also might have only one grocery store - so do we need a state law requiring Piggly Wiggly to expand?

If you smell something fishy in what TV4US is doing, the list of "coalition members" may provide a clue. It has several minority organizations - and one big business named AT&T. First it gobbled up BellSouth. Now it may want to knock Ned the Knology Guy right out of his basket....

A legislature-watcher from CapitolImpact.com told GPB's "Lawmakers" last week AT&T is the driving force behind the "cable TV choice" bill. It apparently wants to offer cable service all over Georgia, and may want to go around local governments to do it. I wouldn't expect its "new choices" to include live coverage of city council meetings.

But this proposal to let AT&T offer statewide cable television raises plenty of questions in my mind....

+ Isn't the switch to digital television in a couple of years requiring cable companies to offer new choices, anyway? I mean, who heard of "The Tube" until a couple of years ago?

+ Don't people in cities with one cable provider already have TV choice? It's called the Dish Network....

+ Won't the growth of broadband Internet service and video streaming provide a different kind of alternative to cable TV? Who needs someone else's channel when you can build a cartoon collection from YouTube.

+ Would statewide cable TV service risk putting community-owned cable franchises in small towns out of business? I can hear the ads for it - "Cingular is now the new AT&T. And AT&T is becoming the new Wal-Mart."

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's move on to a Columbus church which is on national cable TV every week....

Mr. Burkard,

I don't know much about the church business but if I understand correctly you are a church going man. Maybe you can shed some light on this for me. I am wondering why a church would have two wealthy men as the officers of the " Not For Profit" organization. I would have assumed that if a church had a CEO it would be the pastor. However, according to the Secretary of State for Georgia's web sight.... Mike Patrick is the CEO (Carmike Theaters) and Spud Warr (Warr Grading) is both the treasurer and secretary of Cascade Hills Baptist Church Incorporated. Interestingly enough when I attended Cascade Hills Church back in January, Mr Warr was invited to tell of the benefits he had experienced since he began to tithe to Cascade Hills. It almost seemed that the message was "if you tithe like I do then you can be rich as well". However, at the time I had no idea that Mr Warr was tithing to his own corporation. I must say I really don't understand the church business can you help me understand?

Thanks,

Mark Hall

Yes, I am a churchgoing man - and I've gone to Cascade Hills a few times in recent years. In fact, Spud Warr led a Saturday afternoon Bible study group I attended. Now I feel guilty about not leaving a dollar bill in that envelope, at the front of the room.

But I never realized until this e-mail arrived that Mike Patrick is the Chief Executive of Cascade Hills Church. That would explain why the sanctuary feels so much like a state-of-the-art theater, right down to the comfortable seats....

Some churches divide the executive duties, with a church board running the week-by-week operations and hiring a Pastor. It frees the Pastor to focus on being a minister - and the more time Bill Purvis has to find funny stories, the better he sounds on "Real Time."

I can see why a church would want people with business experience overseeing the finances. They're more likely to know if someone isn't dividing by ten properly, in tithing....

The church I regularly attend teaches what Cascade Hills does, when it comes to tithing. If you tithe, God will bless you. Note I didn't say you'll be rich. Go back to what I went through with a sports business last year, and you'll find it doesn't always work that way.

I don't know the arrangement at Cascade Hills, but members of many church boards don't receive any salary from the tithes. They're volunteers who hold "board meetings" once a month or so, to review how things are going. If they're not going well, there could be changes - such as the always-controversial move of bringing in a drum set.

However Cascade Hills operates its organization, it must be doing something right. The latest "Columbus Community News" shows it has 7,500 members. Saint Anne Catholic Church is second in size in Columbus, at 4,655 -- and it serves free bread and wine to members all the time.

We hope that helps settle some things -- and another church pastor tops our look at Monday headlines:

+ Phenix City minister Johnnie Robinson was sworn in as a new Russell County Commissioner. Governor Bob Riley selected him to fill the seat of Ronnie Reed -- so the Governor may think Russell County needs intervention from someplace higher than Montgomery.

(Ronnie Reed declared he was "disappointed" that Governor Riley did not reappoint him to the commission seat he lost in a court challenge. Reed should be familiar with this concept from way back when he burglarized that Columbus business. It's called probation....)

+ Georgia state measurements showed Columbus had the most polluted air in the state - even worse than Atlanta. Next time, I guess I'll have to keep the doors closed while I clean dust from the kitchen.

+ Fort Benning reported two wildfires on post - yet continued with its "prescribed burning" program in other areas. Critics of the Bush administration would find parallels with the current Iraq strategy....

+ Instant Message to the Louisiana State women's basketball announcers: Congratulations on making the Final Four Monday night. But go ahead, say it - Ketia Swanier of Connecticut is from Columbus, GEORGIA. You didn't have to stop with "Columbus." [True/WWL-AM] I don't think the state of Connecticut even has a Columbus.

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-- posted by Richard at 12:10 AM

Monday, March 26, 2007

26 MAR 07: ONE PERSON UNDER A PROTEST

"How you doin', Richard?" said the caller at 10:38 a.m. Sunday.

"Recovering from the flu," I said. My morning temperature had dropped to 99.8 degrees F. - and if the trend continued, the air temperature in Columbus might cross paths with mine by the end of the day.

"Recovering from the flu?" the caller said. "Did you take extra vitamin C?" Well, I drank orange juice for breakfast - but I do that just about every morning. I don't know if the apple filling in the sweet rolls counts for extra or not.

But my health and welfare was NOT why this man was calling. In fact, it never is. This was a man who by his own admission has been barred from four Columbus banks, assorted other businesses, and even the Government Center. And before you get ahead of me - no, his last name is not Arab-sounding in any way.

I've referred to this caller in years gone by with pseudonyms such as Mr. Z. (since he woke me up at 7:15 one Saturday morning with a complaint) Today I'm going to name him, because he's seeking intervention for his problems from both the NAACP and the F.B.I. If he can get those groups to work together before 2009, that will be amazing.

Drive down Warm Springs Road between Flat Rock Park and Manchester Expressway, and you might notice a corner house with the U.S. flag flying upside-down. The man who lives there is named Michael, and the flag is flying that way as a "political protest" - as he says everyone from homosexuals to "rednecks" have ruined his life. That's one broad-based coalition....

Michael has spelled out a long list of his personal trials, in a series of calls to me over the last two years. It all started after I did him a favor, and removed his name from this blog after it was spread all over town through an internal police memo e-mailed by "IsOurCitySafe." That e-mailer has been so quiet lately, I'm wondering if he's joined the Metro Narcotics Task Force.

But anyway: Michael was so happy that I removed his name two years ago that he called to thank me - three times in 36 hours. I suppose he considered me one of his new best friends. I looked on it more like an easy way to avoid a libel suit.

Since that incident, Michael's kept calling me -- sometimes for several days in a row, sometimes once in a while. Sunday's call was the first since last October, when he told me about his mother's home catching fire. Michael said he called 911 to find out his mother's condition, and was NOT treated well. Maybe if he called a more proper place -- like a hospital....

Michael's mom is fine, but Michael is the one with problems now. He told me Sunday he's about to have all his utilities cut off because he's behind in his payments. He's somehow built up a natural gas bill of almost $1,000, "and it hasn't even been cold." But from the way he talked, about half that amount goes back to last Thanksgiving -- so the interest rate may be what's really hot.

Put the natural gas, water and electric bills together, and Michael owes about $1,400. But about 45 minutes into his phone call, I made it clear that I can't afford to loan him that much money. After all, people I knew during my Atlanta years still owe me about $2,500 - and I went to church with them, in person.

Michael said he wasn't looking for my help in paying his utility bills. He apparently needed to "vent" to someone on a Sunday morning, and I was home to answer the phone. And since Michael admits he's been "institutionalized" over the years and has a paranoia disability, I save him the cost of a therapy session.

Michael says he's a "disabled veteran" who has been mistreated in numerous ways - far too many to list here. He's taken his complaints to the F.B.I. Civil Rights Division, the Georgia NAACP, Congressman Lynn Westmoreland, and even the Federal Reserve about banks barring him. When four banks don't seem to compete, you don't win.

. Michael describes himself as a "Christian conservative." But he misstated the location of one Bible verse during Sunday's phone call - and he also quoted to me from the pledge of allegiance: "One republic under God...."

"Nation."

"Whatever...." You probably can guess which political party he backs.

Michael hit a nerve with me by mentioning a "spirit of discernment" several times. As he seemed to wind down his one-sided conversation after 60 minutes, I advised him to pray for a REAL spirit of discernment - because he lacked it. Apparently no one's taught Michael that you don't do a recovering sick person any good by yakking at length about your own problems, and barely asking about theirs.

Michael finally got off the line after 80 minutes. He's vented to me for as long as 95 - and done it so often that I'll have to put him under a "ten-minute time limit" the next time he calls. I've done this before, and it sometimes annoyed him. But that's five times longer than a TV reporter gets during the 6:00 p.m. news.

Oh yes - my temperature dropped to 99.2 degrees after Michael's phone call, so it seems I'm finally over the weekend bug. I'm actually a little surprised it didn't go up....

BLOG UPDATE: The Russell County District Attorney's office told us at midweek Constable R.J, Schweiger would go on trial Friday. But a judge apparently had other ideas - and the Hurtsboro Constable will face a "bench trial" at a later date, without a jury. They might have to bus in a judge from Huntsville, to find one Schweiger might consider unbiased.

R.J. Schweiger has pleaded "hardship" in his contempt of court trial. So court records show Phenix City's April Logan has been appointed as his attorney. You can't call Logan a "high-powered lawyer" - because she doesn't even have a quarter-page ad in the Yellow Pages.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The discussion continues about the supposedly-settled murder of a Fort Benning soldier....

Hello,

Lanny and Remy Davis have started a petition to urge the DA of Columbus GA to do the right thing and release their sons remains for a proper burial. Please visit the following link and sign your support. Lanny and Remy Davis made another attempt on March 15, 2007 to have Richards remains returned but after 4 years, District Attorney, Gray Conger of Columbus GA still refuses to release Richard.

Also, the Official Website for The Richard T. Davis Foundation For Peace is in construction and online for viewing. A wonderful and generous student at Columbus State University named Martha Garcia has donated her time and talent as Webmaster. We would like to ask all students with CSU to put their powerful voices behind this important cause. In fact, it would be ideal if the Peace Memorial for Iraqi Vets could be put at the Milgen Road site where the new CSU Dorms are being built....

Tell everyone you know, especially people in the military:

BRING RICHARD DAVIS HOME FROM THE WAR

Thanks for your support!!

Sincerely,

The Richard T. Davis Foundation For Peace

Wouldn't it be strange if the District Attorney became a "political casualty of war," when he had nothing to do with even one Fort Benning soldier going to Iraq? As another blog has noted, it's like firing the Secretary of the Army over a poorly-kept hospital in Washington.

We've heard from a couple of readers about what happened to the "memorial in the woods" set up by Spec. Richard Davis's parents, after land on Milgen Road was cleared for dormitories....

The construction team on Milgen Road packed up the little memorial the Davis' had in place and mailed it to their home in MO before the land was leveled months ago. It was quite a touching surprise.

It certainly had to be a surprise. Some Columbus pranksters might have tried to track down that location for a bizarre gang initiation.

A Sunday letter about calico cats brought this comment:

It sounds like that PAWS has a lot in common with that Peta group. Kill them all ! Don't do what is right for the animal just what they think is right. Shame on PAWS.

Huh?!?! I thought "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" was against the killing of most animals. It promotes vegetarianism, after all - with lines such as "soybeans, the other white meat."

But I have to admit there's one part of the PETA program I don't quite understand. What is this group doing to ensure animals are treated ethically - by other animals? Where is the effort to spend weekends in the woods, teaching coyotes to change their ways? Let's nip this "food chain" business in the bud, so to speak....

We'll save one more e-mail for another day - and move on to other notes from Sunday:

+ Columbus tied its highest-ever temperature for March, at 89 degrees. If you think this proves there's global warming, you didn't watch the NASCAR race at Bristol, Tennessee - where the announcers recalled one year ago, qualifying runs were canceled due to snow.

+ Russell County was added to the list of Alabama counties on a fire alert. This will put the pressure on some drivers - because they'll actually have to use the ashtrays in the cars for their cigarettes.

+ Columbus Police reported someone stole four new Pathfinders from Rob Doll Nissan. Three of them were recovered at the Booker T. Washington Apartments - proving after all these years, some people still don't understand how a "test drive" works.

+ The annual "Riverblast" celebration concluded at the Port Columbus Naval Museum. It was SO HOT a few visitors actually hoped the staff would fire water cannons.

+ The first "Georgia Marathon" was held in Atlanta. For years, the Atlanta Track Club staged a marathon on Thanksgiving Day. Don't people feel obligated to earn their turkey dinners anymore?

POEM OF THE DAY: Florida beat Oregon Sunday to advance to the NCAA men's basketball Final Four in Atlanta. The matchup inspired some "Seuss-ical" thinking....

Flor. and Ore. - Ore. and Flor.

Which team will be shown the door?

One team must win - which is Ore.,

Unless Flor. has the higher score.

Only one can play some more,

Going to the Final Four.

Which side really wants it more?

Fighting Flor. -- or either Ore.?

SCHEDULED TUESDAY: We try to make sense of some puzzling commercials....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3365 (- 161, 4.6%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:11 AM

Sunday, March 25, 2007

25 MAR 07: ROCKED - 103

WARNING: Today's entry comes to you from a blogger who is officially "under the weather." You might want to disinfect your mouse and keyboard after you're through here - or go ahead and step away for a moment, to put on plastic gloves and a face mask.

I'm no doctor, and don't even play one on TV. But I fear I caught the flu over the last couple of days. My temperature soared to 103 degrees F. Friday evening, and stayed in that neighborhood all day Saturday. Sad to say, I was hotter than the Kansas basketball team's shooting against UCLA....

It wasn't really clear to me if anything was wrong until I took my temperature late Friday. I'd developed a bad hacking cough for a couple of days, but thought it was due to all the pine pollen. If we don't get some rain soon, so many things will be coated in yellow that visitors will think Columbus is filled with Georgia Tech graduates.

On top of that, my workplace is one of those offices where people constantly wrestle with the thermostat. When someone turned the setting down Friday morning, I felt seriously chilled. It's as if people don't realize there are settings between 64 and 80.

As I left the office to run Friday afternoon errands, my body thawed out in a car with the windows rolled up. I needed warmth - and I think it was so warm that a little of the "new car smell" actually redeveloped.

At this point I want to apologize to the customers at the Wal-Mart SuperCenter at Columbus Park Crossing. Hopefully I didn't spread my bug all over the store, as I went grocery shopping. But you can take comfort in one thing -- I didn't go anywhere near the pet food.

After taking home the groceries and putting them away, I still didn't do a temperature check of my body. Instead, I went out and had a racquetball workout - in the 80-degree heat. Baking in the car was one thing, but nearly boiling over while driving home is something else.

But I had one other commitment to fulfill after that. It was a potluck weekend at church, so I prepared a pan of my somewhat-infamous brownies. If I was sick now, I know God could heal me by Saturday afternoon. As long as I didn't "anoint" the brownies by coughing all over them....

But my temperature stayed in the 102-103 degree range Saturday morning, so I stayed home from church. When a single guy misses a potluck dinner, you KNOW it's serious.

Between Friday evening and Saturday evening, I probably spent 16 hours in bed. I listened to a couple of religious programs on radio to "make up" for missing church -- but as sluggish and groggy as I was, the minister might as well have knocked me in the head with a Bible.

The good news is that after doing a bit of cleaning in the kitchen Saturday night, my temperature was down to 100.5. So there's hope on my part that the flu is flying away -- and maybe today I'll be down to a "Sunny 100."

E-MAIL UPDATE: While your blogger is ill, your messages get to drive the discussion. We start on Milgen Road:

CSU must be looking to start a cross country track team..Can't believe they built the new dorms miles away..I hope they run a shuttle several times per day..Oh wait,CSU has been charging $40 a semester to park in the parking garage that is still not used..I guess by building so far away they are forcing students to have cars so they fill the garage.

Now hold on here! I went to college on a campus which was quite spread out. Some dormitory residents had a 15-minute walk to the center of campus - and this was decades before people worried about teenage obesity and carbon emissions.

I believe a METRA line runs along Milgen Road, so that can take Columbus State students from the new dorms to the main campus. In fact, METRA should have some fun with this - like serving discount-priced cans of Red Bull early in the morning.

Now from "Cougars" to other creatures....

Animal Rightists VS Animal Welfare

Five exotic, pregnant cats- loudly colored calicos, and Japanese bob tails appeared here in the woods. Their kittens will be born in the next few days! I will not be here and wondered if I might be able to place them in a caring home. If they are left outside, here, the kittens will be subjected to coyotes and cold nights.

I called PAWS- "PEOPLE HELPING ANIMALS-ANIMALS HELPING PEOPLE".

The lady said they do not care for cats and that I should spay them.

I said "They can be spayed AFTER delivery."

Director Donna REX, who was listening to the call, said "You should spay--- NOW. "

I said, " I cannot spay and kill VIABLE kittens. "

She insisted I should SPAY and kill the kittens because the kittens will be subjected to having 7000 cats each in a period of 7 years. She went on and on with justifications of relinquishing their good lives to the 'good death' she thought necessary.

I told her I knew about the exponential birth rates of un-neutered animals, but the litters are viable- I CANNOT KILL them now a day before they are to be born.

She insisted on spay, TOMORROW- because "The kittens will be subjected to a life of misery and pain if they are allowed to live."

"Misery and pain are not the only alternatives, and they can all be spay/neutered, later." I said.

I called a vet and was told that when spay is done just before delivery the uterus is removed from the mother and the kittens are allowed to suffocate and suffer.

I have witnessed thousands of farm animal births. Animals ARE born with the ability to feel pain. Furthermore, they feel pain prior to birth. Some start suckling when only their head has emerged from their mother's body. They move, cry, and suckle well before the cord is even visible.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GIVE THOSE ANIMAL RIGHTIST PEOPLE MONEY?

If, and only IF they adopt a less animal rightist- and more pro-life domestic animal position I will consider aiding them.

Deborah Owens

First of all, I didn't realize PAWS was this biased an organization. It cares for dogs, but NOT cats? Why, that's almost like refusing to drink Coca-Cola as long as one bottle of RC remains on sale.

I also didn't realize coyotes were roaming the woods around Columbus. The only time I tend to see them is when they're chasing Road Runners on TV....

Perhaps Ms. Owens should have called the Muscogee County Humane Society about her dilemma. It actually accepts cats, and is a "no-kill" shelter - which is different from the "no-care" shelter she seems to be describing.

Our next e-mail came with the headline, "Talbot County in the news again:"

Hi,

Did you catch the story about our Sheriffs Dept's investigator Andy K in the Columbus Ledger today, it was about wrecking his car, he hit the pole so hard it caused the power in the city of Talbotton to go out for hours, Is Andy K trying to match up to Sheriff Mr. Bill Johnson's record.

Yes, I knew about the wreck in Talbotton. In fact, the day it happened someone told me the damaged car already had been moved. "You ought to investigate this," a caller urged me. Maybe it's more commonplace in Talbotton to wait 48 hours for a wrecker to show up....

I've heard speculation about Talbot County and its patrol cars, but haven't done any digging to get to the bottom of it. But someone claimed to me the other day that Talbotton's mayor had gone out and bought three new police cars on his own - so maybe it's all a conspiracy, and he knew this wreck was coming.

Let's take one more call - uh, I mean e-mail....

I am a regular listener to talk line, and still do not know the circumstances surrounding Antonio Carter's departure. Can you fill me in? I don't agree with his views but he did make the show interesting.

I enjoy reading your blog, keep up the good work!

-Robert

WRCG dropped both Antonio Carter and Doug Kellett late last year, because the ratings weren't very strong. But that's what happens when your signal isn't very strong....

But I heard Antonio Carter back on "TalkLine" one recent morning. Robbie Watson called Carter a "friend." So she didn't shove him out the door at WRCG - else he would have called a news conference to condemn her show by now.

We thank all of you who write, and now let's check weekend news before I go back to bed:

+ The Federal Emergency Management Agency declared Dougherty County is eligible for individual disaster assistance from the tornadoes. Yet Muscogee County still isn't?! Just because a longtime Democrat won the mayor's race....

+ The Benning Park Recreation Center was renamed after the late Columbus Councilor Frank Chester. I'm glad they didn't name the softball diamonds after him too - because "Chester Fields" would have sparked questions about a tobacco industry payoff.

(The sign outside the recreation center was covered for several weeks, before the new name was unveiled. I honestly thought a gang had spray-painted it, the way it had a racquetball court. As nice as the Chester Recreation Center's sign looks, maybe the "taggers" thought the same thing.)

+ A federal jury ruled Continental Carbon must pay $20 million for violating pollution standards. Maybe Al Gore knows what he's talking about, when he speaks of "carbon shifting." Can we shift that plant about 50 miles away?

+ Columbus State University hosted a "nerd-a-thon" - an event featuring comic book collections, computer games and professional wrestlers. I'm a bit surprised this event wasn't sponsored by Direct Optical Center.

+ The C.S.U. Lumpkin Center hosted the first-ever "Bi-City All-Star Classic" for high school basketball players. For some reason, the event started one hour late - as if the players had to watch the Ohio State-Memphis game first, to learn some new moves.

+ Nick Saban ran his first spring practice as Alabama head football coach. Most of the players wore black shirts - sparking rumors Saban will leave Tuscaloosa after the 2007 season, to coach at Vanderbilt.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3526 (- 346, 8.9%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 1:09 AM

Friday, March 23, 2007

23 MAR 07: TV SPECIAL-IST

There's always something momentous about a graduation day - whether in the military or in school. But admittedly, when I was young I wondered why my grade school and junior high school didn't have graduation ceremonies. It was almost as if the teachers were happy to get us out the door.

Thursday was a basic training graduation day at Fort Benning - and one of the new soldiers had a story which was anything but basic. Specialist Jerry Jacob joined the Army, after working for about 20 years in television news. This will certainly be different - because the enemy usually doesn't stop every eight minutes or so for commercial breaks.

Jerry Jacob was a TV newscaster in Springfield, Missouri, but felt a need to change careers after the September 11 attacks. As he put it Thursday: "I'd been serving myself all my life, instead of serving my country." Some would take that to mean he dodged federal income taxes....

(Jacob worked for a station which years ago had the slogan: "KY-3 - as far as the eye can see." Perhaps he was looking so far, he never really looked in the mirror.)

Jerry Jacob couldn't join the military immediately after the September 11 attacks, because he was too old. But the rules changed last year, allowing people as old as 42 to enlist. Keep that in mind, the next time the Army brags about making recruiting goals - it's looking for people almost too old to play major league baseball.

(Hey, wait a minute here! If Jerry Jacob was an "anchorman," shouldn't he more logically have joined the Navy?)

So Jerry Jacob came to Fort Benning for basic training - and his drill sergeant admitted the former TV newsman was not quite in shape at first. There's a reason why you can't see below the waist at the anchor desk....

Yet Jerry Jacob kept working at it - and when graduation day came Thursday, he was the honor graduate of his Fort Benning platoon. I think that means he was awarded a ribbon at the ceremony. It certainly didn't look like his beret had an extra tassel on it.

One TV reporter said Thursday night Jerry Jacob had "traded his microphone for an M-16." Here's hoping he never gets the two confused, and points the weapon toward his mouth.

Jerry Jacob gets back to military business today, after Thursday's graduation. He travels to Fort Sam Houston, Texas, with the goal of becoming an Army combat medic. This seems strange to me. Jacob doesn't want to be a public affairs spokesman -- ducking behind podiums in Iraq, like the United Nations Secretary-General did?!

The idea of "specialists" from television news really isn't new. About 30 years ago, a TV station in my home town called all its reporters "specialists." There was one for education, one for health - and they didn't even wear channel number lapel pins, much less ribbons.

It's easy to admire what Jerry Jacob is doing. He's giving up "stardom" in the Missouri Ozarks, to show dedication for his country. Come to think of it, I haven't heard from Third Brigade blogger Chris Sweigart in a while - do you think he's trying to track down Usama bin-Laden?

But it was interesting to note Jerry Jacob is engaged to be married. In his early forties, he doesn't have a major family commitment as he serves in the Army. He'll be somewhat on his own - although he might still need to look to a meteorologist from time to time, to help him make plans.

A man who made local sports news Thursday stands in interesting contrast to Jerry Jacob. Craig Fitts resigned as Shaw High School's football coach, after making the Georgia state finals in his first year. He says he's doing it to spend more time with his four children. A team of four certainly should be easier to handle than 22.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to the great land swap, involving land on Macon Road....

The trees are gone..That is right..The huge pile of large expensive trees that were never planted and allowed to die has been removed from the library site on the side next to the old Sears..There had to be 15 to 20 trees with roots still wrapped in burlap in one big pile...Guess when the library was about to be first page media the decision was made to remove them..I wonder if they paid their landfill tipping fees?

Huh?! There were trees stored on Rigdon Road? I never saw this - but maybe they've been moved to the Brookstone neighborhood, and planted so future tornadoes blow them toward streets and not houses.

Here's one more item, with a political bent:

Hi Sir,

Could you notify your bloggers and conservatives in Columbus, that we have organized a new " Georgia Conservative Republican Voters Coalition" and would like to invite any conservative republican, who is a voter, to join our group. We are not a political party, we are only a Coalition of conservatives, who happen to be Republicans, that meet for the sole purpose of " Finding Conservative Republican Candidates - who would like to run for a political office, from City Council through US Congressional seats.

Anyone can contact me (Chuck) at (706)577-5544 or conservativecoalition@yahoo.com.

Thanks,

Chuck Wells

OK, there's the invitation. If you prefer liberal Republicans - well, you're a little late. You missed Governor Sonny Perdue's appearance at Green Island Country Club Thursday night.

Now for other things you may have missed Thursday:

+ The Census Bureau reported Chattahoochee County had the largest population growth in the country last year, increasing 13.2 percent. The question now is whether two factors will lead to a decline this year - the Third Brigade's deployment to Iraq, or the elimination of the county police department.

+ The Auburn University Board of Trustees approved Dr. Jay Gogue as the campus's new President. His last name is pronounced "goozh" - so please don't ask him if he's related to Vincent Van.

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley was presented two jugs full of fuel from the state's first biodiesel plant. I hope those jugs are clearly marked - because in some corners of Alabama, it would make even the most devout moonshine drinker sick.

+ Instant Message to WRBL: Bless you! For showing the Kansas win over Southern Illinois from start to finish - why, you ARE on my side! Or were you really answering some hard-nosed lobbying by Southern Illinois grad Dave Platta?

(And as for my beloved Jayhawks - you might as well have been a Thursday night "Survivor" episode. But somewhere the headline today will read: "KAN TOPS SOIL.")

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3872 (+ 102, 2.7%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:06 AM

Thursday, March 22, 2007

22 MAR 07: DEJA VU TIMES TWO

So you thought Wednesday was the first full day of ~~Sping~~ Spring? Or maybe C.S.U. Day? I beg to differ with you. Wednesday was Groundhog Day at my house. As in the Andie McDowell movie. I guess someone else had top billing - but as a single guy, she had the bulk of my attention.

The 5:00 p.m. hour was one of the strangest I've had at home in a long time. It already was a repeat to one extent, as The Oprah Winfrey Show is showing reruns all week of her cross-country road trip with Gayle King. I can't believe this woman of such humble origins never played bingo in her life, and hadn't driven a car in more than 20 years.

But Wednesday's episode was one I hadn't seen before -- as "Oprah and Gayle" traveled through my home state of Kansas. They passed cattle ranches, and couldn't stand the odor. Come to think of it, they made sure the road trip went well around Amarillo, Texas....

But I digress: a few minutes in the hour, my phone rang. Charter Communications was calling with an alleged great rate for Internet, cable and phone service. There were only one thing wrong with this. Someone from Charter had called with the very same offer Monday evening. With no offers in between, maybe the TV ads are right -- I really don't have a choice for cable TV.

I told the telemarketer I'd heard this pitch before. In fact, I could summarize the "few questions" the man wanted to ask me. "I don't have cable, my local phone bill is $28.85, my long-distance bill is $1.82...." I've learned to keep my phone bills near the phone for these offers - but this made three times in three days.

The Charter man was offered a cable-phone-web combination package for $89.95 a month. I told him that was the same price I'd heard a few days before, and I still wasn't interested. Amazingly, the telemarketer gave up -- instead of being in a mood to start negotiations.

It's a rare day when I receive more than one telemarketing call. But Wednesday, I received a second one in the 5:00 p.m. hour. I was sorting out papers on the living room floor during spring cleaning, so I suppose the scrambling up to get the phone provided a little exercise.

The second call was from a woman with "American Handicapped and Disabled Workers" (I may be wrong about the Disabled) -- a group which sells all sorts of things over the phone to make money. How did I know this? Because someone from the same group had called me Tuesday night -- less than 24 hours before. It's as if the computers in every boiler room shut down overnight.

The man who called Tuesday night emphasized cool-burning, energy-efficient, argon gas ten-year light bulbs. They'd only cost me ten dollars - each. The pricing of hybrid cars seems to work in the other direction.

I asked if this handicapped workers' group has a web site for reviewing all the things it offers by phone. The telemarketing man said it doesn't. In 2007?! Do the eligible disabilities for employment include a phobia about hackers?

But the Tuesday night handicapped caller happened to mention during his pitch that he had a young daughter. Some of the beggars I meet on street corners probably have them, too - but they don't bring them up in conversations. Of course, they probably can't afford to pay child support for them....

"I told your people I wasn't interested Tuesday night," I told the woman who called Wednesday afternoon. "And nothing's changed since then." Not one light bulb burned out, to make me wonder if God was sending a message to make me feel guilty.

There was a third telemarketing call Wednesday -- only it came at 10:00 Wednesday night. From the accent of the caller, it probably was mid-morning in India or Pakistan....

Telemarketer #3 had called me a couple of weekends ago, offering a "one-time-only" special including a free cell phone. But he called on the Sabbath, so I told him I'd have to miss out. The caller promised to give me a second change a few days later, before I left for work in the morning. Given his call almost two weeks later at late evening, I should have been skeptical from the start.

Telemarketer #3 gave his pitch three different times - but didn't seem to understand me when I said "not interested." I certainly didn't understand, when he asked for my Social Security number to process the cell phone deal. If the calls are made as randomly as he claimed, the billing numbers ought to work the same way.

I've found I hardly ever need a cell phone, anyway. It might have come in handy a couple of times last year, when I was trying to launch a sports business. And it certainly wouldn't have helped a couple of weeks ago, when I locked myself out of my apartment. If I didn't bring any keys with me, I probably would have forgotten the cell phone as well.

E-MAIL UPDATE: There's plenty in the InBox today, starting at the Government Center:

This guy will be Judge Jordan's new law clerk this August....

I have been told this Judge depends heavily on his law clerks.

Not sure this is blogworthy...but thought you would like to know.

A call to Superior Court Judge Frank Jordan's office confirmed Mark P. Jones will join the staff of clerks later this year. And if three calls from telemarketers are "blogworthy" here, he probably is as well.

At first I thought the biography page of Mark P. Jones's web site showed him holding a small fish. But a closer look indicates it's more like a small crab. Jones notes he enjoys hunting - and he seems to do it well, because that critter shows no sign of a bullet hole at all.

But I wonder if the e-mailer was more interested in what Mark P. Jones writes in his online biography. He calls liberalism "the absence of values," and prefers a Singapore-style "authoritarian version of democracy." It's a wonder Judge Frank Jordan hired Jones, before Mayor Jim Wetherington did.

Mark P. Jones goes on to call sleep "a waste of time," and writes about supporting a bill "mandating an 18 hour workday." It sounds like he's perfect for a law clerk's job - and I hope he gets to know some of the prison inmates who will empty the trash cans at the Government Center during the evenings.

Mark P. Jones is unashamedly Christian, rejecting Islam because "the founder writes their central text in a cave." Does this mean we should take back the Martin Luther King holiday? After all, he wrote a famous letter from a Birmingham jail....

Let's look at one more message today - on a topic which has brought several comments lately:

Lanny and Remy Davis were recently in Columbus to ask the District Attorney to return their murdered sons remains for a proper burial. Richard Davis' birthday would have been March 14. His parents have made a trip to Columbus every year at this time. Although they left town with no confirmed date as to the return of Richard's remains; some very generous people assisted them in their pursuit. On behalf of the Davis family, I want to thank Priya Aujla of WTVM for reporting this story to Columbus, as well as Attorney Mark Shelnutt and Judge Bobby Peters for speaking out on their behalf. They took time from their busy schedules to meet with the Davis' and displayed sincere compassion that the family found very comforting at a time when they feel the justice system is victimizing them all over again.

I also want to point out something else that has touched the hearts of Lanny and Remy Davis, proving what great people really live in Columbus. Because Richard's actual grave is empty, the murder location on Milgen Road has served as a substitute because it's where Richard's body lay for so many months. Columbus State University is now building dorms for the students on this site. The Davis' have laid flowers at the location where he was killed and a few feet away, where he was burned. The construction workers present always paused and gave the family privacy. When the flowers left behind need to be moved out of their ay, the workers gently move them and then move them back again. I do not know their names, but they deserve thanks for being such truly decent, kind people.

As Judge Peters so eloquently worded it; justice must be tempered with compassion.

Cilla McCain

That indeed is a nice act of courtesy by the construction team on Milgen Road. But I'm left wondering how the death site was handled when the woods first were cleared away. If the workers didn't leave any trees standing, I'm wondering how many pictures might be buried three feet below the marker now.

If your e-mail isn't here today, it's solely because I'm out of time. They'll be here soon - but now we must close with quick items from Wednesday's news:

+ The lawsuit by former Phenix City Clerk Max Wilkes was moved to federal court in Montgomery. City officials say Wilkes was let go because of a tight budget. Now Wilkes plans to make them prove it - by having them car-pool to court hearings in a city van.

+ The LaGrange Daily News reported Pine Mountain Wild Animal Safari plans a major expansion, including a new hotel and an RV park. Big spenders can see a giraffe eye-to-eye - while the budget-conscious may have to share the dinner with roaming monkeys.

+ Columbus native and pro football defensive back Roderick Hood visited a Phenix City school. Hood said he plans to return to Auburn University after his pro football career ends, to finally get his degree. Now that should be interesting - especially since Hood won't be able to plead for Directed Studies courses.

+ Online reports indicated the Atlanta Falcons are trading backup quarterback Matt Schaub to Houston. OK, be honest now - after last season, how many of you think the wrong quarterback is being moved?

+ Instant Message to my old alma mater Kansas: Please don't let me down in the Sweet 16 tonight. Leave Southern Illinois looking.... well, downright S.IL.ly.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3770 (+ 92, 2.5%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:26 AM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

21 MAR 07: THE MONEY STORE

Wouldn't it be great to have a job where you could give yourself a raise anytime you wanted? I dreamed of something like that last year - only to be reminded that a majority of all new businesses fail within two years.

But the Alabama Legislature has no such worries. Lawmakers officially voted themselves a pay raise Tuesday - and a raise of 62 percent at that. Professional athletes usually need a hard-driving agent to do that well.

The salary of Alabama House and Senate members will jump from about $30,000 to almost $50,000. For the people who serve in Montgomery, that may not seem like much. But c'mon, this is Alabama - where new poultry processing plants are considered a major economic victory.

A Birmingham radio talk show host tried to organize a protest of the 62-percent raise. The "March on Montgomery" attracted about 200 people Tuesday -- proving civil rights leaders sometimes really do have more clout and supporters.

Tuesday's vote for the 62-percent raise actually was a replay, because the original vote was vetoed Tuesday by Governor Bob Riley. If the legislature had thought to include even a ten-percent raise for him, things might have been different....

Governor Bob Riley said the state legislature should have a raise, but such a big raise should occur over a period of several years. That way, it would work like some sports contracts - giving voters an option to pick up their "contracts" after the 2008 season.

Some Alabama lawmakers say it's time they received a 62-percent raise, because the legislature hasn't had one since 1991. You know, this pay increase could have been even worse - because haven't gas prices tripled since 1991?

The Alabama State Employees Association even thought the lawmakers were going too far. An executive director said to keep up with other state workers, the legislature's raise should be ONLY 41 percent. Obviously there aren't enough conservatives in Montgomery these days....

Some critics also are appalled by this big pay raise becomes it comes only two weeks into the regular legislative session. Maybe Governor Riley should share the blame after all. The lawmakers finished his special session in a week, and thought they could reward themselves.

This 62-percent raise did seem to occur in a big hurry. Alabama lawmakers first approve the increase one week into their session - while money to rebuild storm-damaged Enterprise schools is still under debate. It's almost as if the legislature is trying to show it's as fast as a tornado.

But to keep things in perspective, some people still make much more than the $50,000 part-time lawmakers will receive in Alabama. A shareholders' filing by Synovus Tuesday revealed Chairman Richard Anthony had total compensation of about four million dollars last year. So if Columbus Bank and Trust staff members say they can't afford to give you a loan, ask to see the bosses.

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Our search for a name for the Aflac duck ended Tuesday night - and the outcome admittedly amazed us. More people preferred NO name, than any of the four names we offered in our poll! This may explain why the Columbus Civic Center still doesn't have a corporate name on it.

Half the voters in our poll said the Aflac duck should remain nameless. The other half split their opinions between our idea of "Amos" (as in the corporate family) and "Dinkles" (as in the nickname some people have given TV meteorologist Derek Kinkade). Only one of those is likely to work, if the duck develops a love interest.

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A group of men is talking about current movies, when someone joins the discussion

"I read that the Spartans really were an offshoot of Christians - in '300,' the movie...."

"Oh, is that what that movie is about?!"

"Yeah."

"It's not about bowling?"

Now we roll along to other Tuesday news headlines:

+ Columbus Council gave the final approval to a big land swap between the city and the Muscogee County School District. Let's hope the two sides don't get mixed up in all this - and try to stock library books at the bottom of the natatorium pool.

(The big political winner in this land swap seems to be Mayor Jim Wetherington. It's the first big victory of his administration - and I can't wait to see him in swimming trunks, once the natatorium is finished.)

+ WRBL reported the Muscogee County Library Board is thinking about adding a children's area, at the back of the main library. Isn't there a children's area there already? Or are the stuffed animals at the entry going to be replaced by humans, doing background checks on the parents?

+ Phenix City's assistant police chief was honored by the City Council, for recent success in a sniper-shooting contest. We're pleased to report he did NOT have to use his skill during the council meeting, toward either the Mayor or City Manager.

+ The Georgia Senate voted 25-23 against a proposal to allow limousine drivers to sell alcohol. So much for SafetyCab drivers changing careers anytime soon....

(Can't you see the sales gimmicks limousine drivers would use, if this had become law? "Long cab, long ride, long-neck.")

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths edged Jacksonville 5-4 in overtime. With one win in the final two road games, the Snakes can clinch the Southern League regular-season title. Why do I get this deep-down feeling the Columbus Lions are going to pull for Richmond and Jacksonville this weekend?

+ Auburn University fans rolled Toomer's Corner, to celebrate the men's and women's swimming teams winning national championships. I'm assuming for this particular event, the toilet paper had to be super-absorbent....

+ Instant Message to whomever posted a sign on the Riverwalk at Tenth Street saying, "Announce intentions to other bikers": The last time I jogged by there, I did that. Is "I'm coming" good enough?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3678 (+ 88, 2.5%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:05 AM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

20 MAR 07: SPING FEVR

It officially happens at 8:07 p.m. ET tonight, but the signs of it have been all around Columbus for a couple of weeks. As an e-mail offer told me Monday in no uncertain terms: "SPING IS HERE!"

SPAM-A-RAMA: Yes, the title of the message said "sping." It did NOT say "spring." And it wasn't a special announcement from the RiverCenter, about an upcoming concert by Sting.

The e-mail promotion from a Christian company actually said "Sping is here!" And since I'm in Georgia, that means I'm about to be GA-Sping. As if people with pine pollen allergies aren't already doing that....

This reminds me of how important one little letter can be, and how it can change how we look at things....

+ Instead of spring cleaning, we can have "sping leaning" - which sounds like what a drunk would do outside a bar.

+ College students who normally take spring break would go on "sping beak" -- where I guess you could sit at home and watch the birds arrive.

+ Schools would turn their annual spring dance into a "sping dane" - and maybe invite an exchange student from Copenhagen.

If the TV show you're watching is dull and boring, it's sometimes fun to press the captioning button - because the spelling there isn't always letter-perfect. For instance, Monday night's "Tavis Smiley Show" on PBS had an interview with a man who supposedly wrote the book "Outfocked." The actual title was "Outfoxed" - and let's be thankful the spelling mistake wasn't much worse.

CORRECTED: Then there are times when missed letters aren't the issue -- the order of them is. Take Monday, when Auburn University's Presidential Search Committee recommended Dr. Jay Gogue of Houston for the job. I first saw the name as "Gouge." Some students might look at that, and watch for hidden fees during enrollment.

During my LaughLine years, I often noted for subscribers the different options of my computer's "Spell Check." Here are some REAL examples of what that feature suggested over the last few days:

+ The name of the Columbus Mayor Pro-Tem should be Evelyn Turner UGH. But I don't really think she's that bad-looking.

+ The Phenix City Mayor should be Jeff HEARTEN. The City Manager could tell you that suggestion is wrong.

+ You can donate to this blog not through PayPal, but "Papal." As if he'd simply take a tithe off the top....

+ It doesn't even recognize the word "blogging" - and suggests instead I'm "slogging." When I'm stumped for jokes, that's more accurate than you might realize.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's one more item about the visit of a slain soldier's parents to Columbus....

Hello,

In response to today's email discussing Richard Davis' rank; he was an Army Specialist which is not considered a low ranking soldier.

It is morally wrong for the D.A. to keep Richard's remains. If this can happen in what has been such a high-profile murder, how would the D.A. treat victim's families in cases which receive no attention? That's something I'm going to remember in the next election.

Oh dear - this is what happens when you have a blogger whose military knowledge prior to arriving in Columbus consisted of the game of Stratego.

If you've ever played Stratego, you know there are army ranks throughout the tiles - everything except a Specialist. There are Scouts, which can move like rooks in chess. And there's a Spy - which has to take the top-ranking Marshal, or he's as worthless as Valerie Plame will be until she signs a modeling contract.

Let's see if there was anything special, from a busy Monday in the news....

+ Georgia Public Broadcasting announced it will present the controversial RiverCenter concert by Frederica von Stade and Dame Kiri Te Kanawa April 9. Well, it IS considered "educational" radio - so maybe this will include Te Kanawa's lecture to the audience about babies and cell phone cameras.

+ The Columbus Civic Center billboard announced an April 28 concert featuring Kellie Pickler. First she falls short on "American Idol" -- and now she apparently didn't make the cut for "Prairie Home Companion."

(So that makes two big events in Columbus, on what would have been the Saturday night of Riverfest weekend. Suddenly the Historic Columbus Foundation must be feeling very small.)

+ The Muscogee County School Board voted to change the name of Eastway Elementary School to Lonnie Jackson Academy. Hopefully the board also approved the commissioning of a plaque, to add to the Jackson family's big collection.

+ Columbus city inspectors revealed they ordered three carnival rides closed at an Airport Thruway shopping center, and one still was down for repairs Monday night. I hope they're all fixed for Fiesta Columbus in May - because it would only be right to have chili con "carney."

+ State Senator George Hooks of Americus told fellow lawmakers about 250 state prison inmates are helping to clean up tornado damage. How bizarre is this? Prisoners are setting a good example, and looters of damaged property are ignoring it.

+ Char-Broil held a kickoff event in Columbus, to launch a nationwide tour promoting its grills. The fact that no TV newscast showed up for the event should teach this company a lesson. Bring the jobs back, and the reporters might come back.

+ The Georgia Supreme Court ruled unanimously that gift cards do NOT violate state law if they have expiration dates. So if you haven't done spring cleaning of your wallet or purse yet, you'd better hurry....

(The challenge to gift card expiration dates was made by former Governor Roy Barnes - which is ironic, because his reign in office expired far sooner than he expected.)

+ The Georgia High School Association decided to move all final-round football games to the Georgia Dome beginning in 2008. The semifinal games will go back to home fields. We can thank Carver and Shaw fans driving to Atlanta at 5:00 in the morning, for bringing state officials to their senses.

+ The Georgia women's basketball team advanced in the NCAA tournament, winning 76-56 over Iowa State. But the men were bombed out of the N.I.T. by Air Force 83-52. On this night, truly the Force was not with them....

(You may remember when the Atlanta Hawks called themselves "Atlanta's Air Force." Now there's the Georgia Force, only it plays arena football -- and the Hawks are more like a stealth pilot who risks flying too low under the radar.)

+ Instant Message to the House of Mercy: Do I understand this right - you wanted to publicize your application to be on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in the media? But you never notified the TV station which shows the program? This may explain why the Valley Rescue Mission is a bit better known around town than you.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3590 (+ 90, 2.6%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

UPDATE 1.....

-- posted by Richard at 12:19 AM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

for 19 MAR 07: A TWITCH IN TIME

At about 8:30 Sunday night, the tremors in part of my body were nine minutes apart. They were slight, but they were noticeable. And no, they had nothing to do with my old college making it to the "Sweet 16" in college basketball.

For the last year or two, I've detected slight occasional shaking in my left little finger. It might occur off and on for a few days, then go away. But in the last couple of weeks, the shaking began to occur on a regular basis - a couple of seconds at a time, about once a minute. It was as if a muscle in my left hand was pretending to be an air drill on a big-city street.

The small tremors were happening so regularly that I began to grow concerned. So I asked a nurse about it, in the church congregation I attend. The first thing which crossed my mind was the start of Parkinson's Disease -- yet I'd never stood that close to Mayor Pro-Tem Evelyn Turner Pugh.

The nurse guessed my twitching was something other than Parkinson's Disease. It could be nothing, she said -- or it could be the lack of something in my diet. She was unsure what the exact deficiency was, but thought it might be magnesium. They don't seem to put this in underarm antiperspirant, the way they once did.

"Have you had any changes in your diet?" the nurse asked. Well, my chocolate input had increased a bit in recent weeks. But I don't chant to myself "choc-late" during three-mile runs as I did long ago.

The nurse suggested I see a doctor about the twitching - and therein lay a problem. In almost ten years in Columbus, I've hardly ever visited a doctor. Only a couple of health situations had called for it - and you know, maybe Phenix Regional Hospital closed because everyone in Russell County kept themselves in shape.

I decided to wait a few days to see if the twitching would disappear - only it didn't. In fact, it seemed to spread to the bottom part of my left hand. If I didn't see an expert soon, before long I might be a walking earthquake.

A check of the WebMD web site for "finger twitching" found my fears of Parkinson's Disease were overblown. Something else came up - ALS, otherwise known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. Now this was even more puzzling, because I hadn't attended a major league baseball game in eight years.

After praying about it and thinking things over, I finally decided to have a specialist examine my left hand. Not knowing where else to turn, I went to Columbus Regional's Urgent Care Clinic one afternoon last week. A weekday afternoon is the perfect time to show up - with only ten minutes of waiting, and no crying babies in the lobby.

But of course, the day I determined to visit the clinic was the day the twitching went away. With nothing else to do in the waiting room, I timed my little finger - and it didn't move on its own in almost ten minutes. If the attendant hadn't called my name, I was five seconds from walking out and declaring victory.

There were the usual papers to fill out - but only three pages of them. The good news is that there was no in-depth stack of questions on a clipboard like other medical offices have. But the bad news is that one of the Urgent Care Clinic's questions involved whether I have a living will.

After two trips into the "back rooms" of the clinic and some basic checks of my weight and blood pressure, Dr. Graham finally entered the examination room to check me. He ruled out ALS at once, after I brought it up. As he put it: "Sometimes we're the victims of a little too much information."

Dr. Graham said my left little finger could simply be a passing thing, nothing to worry about. But he also hinted there could be a nerve ending problem, that a neurologist might need to check if it persisted. This was a bit discomforting, because I have a brother in a "neurological institute" - and he's barely been able to walk his entire life, much less write or speak.

"Any other problems?" Dr. Graham asked - and then I said something which apparently changed his diagnosis. I've felt a sore shoulder for weeks, which resulted from overstretching on the racquetball court. This explains why I don't go to Benning Park with a paint can, and cover up gang graffiti myself....

After a quick check of my shoulder, Dr. Graham told me the blood circulating around the shoulder could explain my twitching finger. So he wrote me a prescription for a medicine with a name like ibuprofen - only it begins with "Flurbi." It sounded like something the performers in "Disney on Ice" should take.

The paperwork from Dr. Graham included not only a computer-printout prescription, but follow-up instructions. One involved slowly taking "Oral Rehydration Solution," as my body could handle it. "Do you think the pharmacist will know what this is?" I asked the aide as I checked out.

"It's just water," he answered. That's pretty much what I expected - but it's still such a fancy name that I plan to surprise my friends with it one of these days.

The doctor's papers also advised me to "read the Shoulder Pain Handout and start Physical Therapy as directed." But I was never given a Shoulder Pain Handout. Maybe it was too heavy for me to carry, without causing more pain.

The trip to the Urgent Care Clinic wound up costing me 74 dollars, and the prescription about 21 more. So my twitching little finger wound up costing me about 95 dollars - and in the middle of my ten-day pain regimen, the finger twitching at several-minute intervals returned Sunday night. It's not affecting my typing at this point. And thankfully, it's not the middle finger that's jerking around....

E-MAIL UPDATE: This letter was sent to the Ledger-Enquirer, and "cc'ed" to me....

Several years ago the COLUMBUS HOUSING AUTHORITY issued $75 million in bonds to a lady from Ft Walton Beach to purchase five local apartment complexes. This was to be a social experiment where the tenants of the apartments were to work together to renovate and improve the apartments and common grounds for the benefit of all. Also included in the bond issue was money to be used to help with the renovations. This same thing was done in at least four other Georgia cities.

The bonds were sold, mostly to people who could not afford to lose their investment, and were most likely under the assumption that the bonds were guaranteed by the Housing Authority.

No payments were made on the bonds, the renovation money which was to be advanced as renovations were completed somehow disappeared, most likely to the lady in Ft. Walton. The apartments were foreclosed and sold for about one half of what was paid for them with the bond issue. The bondholders lost over half their investment.

Now we have Ashley Station a mixed income housing project which is another social experiment. I do not believe that doctors, lawyers, or any high income professional people are going to pay thousands of dollars a month in rent to live next door to someone that pays $200.00 a month.

I recently read somewhere that the CHICAGO HOUSING AUTHORITY said that the biggest mistake they ever made was building mixed income housing projects.

Lon Gammage

So if someone comes to your door in the "tornado zone" and claims to be bonded, be careful. They might actually be holding bonds which are in default.

The new Ashley Station complex is now open for occupancy, where the Peabody Apartments used to be. The buildings look quite nice -- but how are lawyers going to know what their neighbors pay in rent, unless they become nosy and start asking? Oh wait, I forgot. It's called the "discovery process" in a trial.

Isn't Ashley Station somewhat similar to how Columbus housing works in general, under the property tax freeze? Your new neighbor may pay twice the property tax you do. Yet the population of Columbus has been growing slowly -- despite the rush of people to a Harris County which still has no Wal-Mart or Piggly Wiggly stores.

Big cities such as New York also come to mind - places with "rent control" rules. Units in some buildings can have a wide range of prices. Yet somehow, the children from varied backgrounds all get along on TV, on "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody."

I think I was actually part of a "mixed income housing project" years ago in Oklahoma. Housing was scarce when I moved there because of an oil boom, so I lived in an apartment complex at the east edge of town. I actually made a game out of the discarded aluminum cans I picked up while jogging - and more often than not, the sodas beat the beers.

I never asked my neighbors how much they paid in rent. In fact, it never crossed my mind to ask. So what I did can work at Ashley Station - a policy of "don't ask, don't tell" which was years ahead of its time.

BLOG UPDATE: On this Hurtsboro Monday, the Constable who lives there is scheduled for trial on two charges. R.J. Schweiger isn't even leaving messages at Talbot County forums anymore. So maybe he's gone back to the "old school" way of rallying support - by going door-to-door at home.

Back to health issues, for our top item from the Sunday news....

+ The "Getting On Top of Life" broadcast on WAGH-FM found Pastor/School Board member Joseph Roberson revealing he spent time in intensive care three years ago, after his uvula was removed. Who knows how many church members went home, and tried to look up that word in the dictionary under "Y."

+ The annual "Thunder in the Valley" air show ended at the Columbus Airport. The stunts this year weren't quite the same, compared with a year ago. Not in the sky - I mean finding a parking place at the former Wal-Mart store on Airport Thruway.

+ Jimmy Johnson edged Tony Stewart, to win a Not-So-Well-Known Tool Company's 500-mile race at Atlanta Motor Speedway. This was a classic battle in every sense of the word - as Lowe's defeated The Home Depot.

+ My alma mater good ol' Kansas advanced to the regional semifinals in college basketball, by killing Kentucky 88-76. But for some reason, the server at Loco's put me in a booth against a wall where I had to look up and around a light to watch a flat-screen TV. I'm assuming he was trying to help me digest my dinner.

COMING SOON: An e-mailer directs me to a picture of a young man holding a fish....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3500 (- 123, 3.4%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 11:35 PM

18 MAR 07: HAVE BIKE, WON'T TRAVEL

Before we get to our topic, here's an open invitation to Kansas alumni and friends in the Columbus area: Let's meet at Loco's at 5:00 p.m. ET. Let's watch K.U. beat U.K. Let's have a repeat of Friday night - which was a classic case of "Niagara falls."

BLOGGER BEGGAR #2: Something told me to stop at "Fourth and Fourth" the other afternoon. I don't think it was my stomach, even though I bought a bag of corn chips at Money Back. And it certainly wasn't for the service - because the checkout line was slow and long, while one of the attendants used a vulgar word toward a customer.

The thing that told me to stop apparently surfaced as I walked back to my car with the corn chips. A man stood on the sidewalk - someone I'd noticed in this corner of Columbus before. He's noticeable because one of his legs is metal and artificial. At least he wears shoes, but he doesn't bother finding knee-high socks to hide his damage.

It took the man two times to get my attention, but the line was familiar when he did. "Can you give me a dollar or two? I'm trying to get something to eat."

"Let's go," I said pointing toward the inside of the convenience store. But as usual, this Money Back store filled with food wasn't good enough for a beggar. Several years ago, a man outside the store made it sound like he had to eat fried chicken -- or else he'd die.

"I'm planning to go to McDonald's in a while," the man explained. The Money Back store across from the Columbus Civic Center has no hot food - not even rotisserie hot dogs like some Spectrum stores do. All that extra space is needed for Keno players, you know.

"Get in the car, and I'll take you to McDonald's."

"But I've got this bicycle." Only then did I notice the bicycle behind the beggar on the sidewalk. Truly Al Gore is right -- even the poorest of us can do something to fight global warming.

"I live three blocks from here," I answered. "You can ride to my house, leave the bike there, and I'll drive you to McDonald's." If you're new to this blog, you'll notice I never simply give money to a beggar. After all, handouts like that from the government haven't seemed to work.

"You don't have to go that far out of the way for me," the beggar with a bicycle said.

"Three blocks," I said pointing toward my home. "Ten blocks," I then pointed toward the McDonald's at 14^th and Veterans Parkway. The total distance one-way would be less than two miles -- much less than I offered a beggar two years ago, when he asked for a ride to Hurtsboro.

"That's all right," the beggar said. "I'll get help from somebody else." Translation: I wasn't giving him the "help" the way he wanted it. The customer in business may be "always right," but the beggar on the corner absolutely knows it.

That would have been that -- but then the beggar uttered one line too many. "Maybe I'll go to Burger King," he said half-jokingly.

"That's what somebody else said," I told him. "He was down the street at Spectrum - and he had a bicycle, too." [27 Mar 06]

I don't really think this man knew what I was talking about. But I'd spotted a new variation on the old begging game. People who can't afford lunch somehow can afford bicycles, to use as props to limit your options. Too bad for them that I live too close for their comfort.

BLOGGER BEGGAR #3 showed up a few days later, at that Spectrum I mentioned down the street. But this time, the request was very different.

"Might you be heading down Highway 280?" asked a man standing near gas pumps.

"No, I'm not." It was soda and a one-block drive home for me - so the discussion ended right there. I'll never know if the man needed a lift to a broken-down car in Phenix City, or really was after a free taxi ride to go shopping.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have plenty of messages to sort through this weekend. One of them touched on several topics:

Richard, In young story about the murder of Lanny Davis's son you referred to the deceased several times as an army "Captain". As I recall his rank was actually "corporal". There is a lot of difference between the two ranks in pay, responsibility and status. A corporal is a low enlisted rank and a captain is an officer. Regardless, his death was indeed tragic. I feel very sorry for his parents and really don't understand why his body has not been released to them for burial.

Reference the mess in Phenix City - One might say that "what goes around, comes around". Wasn't it Bubba Roberts (the city mgr) who fired Max Wilkes (the 29 yr city employee who was acting city mgr while Bubba was gone for two years on National Guard duty in Birmingham) when Bubba returned to town. Now the Mayor wants Bubba to resign. Perhaps it's poetic justice or something like that. I think I read that Max Wilkes is suing the city.

And wasn't it strange that Mayor Harden didn't show up for his usual visit on Calvin's Rise and Shine program on Thursday? He never seemed to miss any programs for the couple of years before he ran for mayor. He sure got thousands of dollars worth of free air time. I suppose he didn't want to answer any questions about this latest issue.

Isn't that just like all the politicians? While running for office they are so accessible but after being elected they sure don't want to answer the public's questions.

I bet Calvin couldn't get any of our state legislators to come on his program and answer questions about the 60% pay raise they just voted themselves this week on a non-recorded vote! It says so much about our state when our citizens are among the poorest in the nation and yet our elected officials are among the best paid!

Your blog is great - keep up the good work. A Smithstation, AL reader

I checked previous blog entries, to make sure of Richard Davis's rank. But an online review shows he's actually listed as "Specialist." My apologies to the family -- but you'll notice none of them ever objected to my giving him a promotion.

(You figured someone HAD to be low on the military pay scale, to throw coins at the Platinum Club stage on that fateful night in 2003....)

I know Max Wilkes was fired last year, but I can't say with absolute certainty that City Manager Bubba Roberts did it. Mayor Jeff Hardin didn't want to talk about that situation, either - perhaps because he smelled a lawsuit coming. At least the City Manager can't sue the mayor. We might need the Phenix City Amphitheater to handle the audience for that trial.

As for Mayor Hardin's appearance on morning TV -- Calvin Floyd answers that, in his own e-mail:

Richard,

Mayor Jeff Hardin did not cancel his appearance on Rise N Shine This Thursday. When Mayor Hardin was on the show two weeks back I ask that He start appearing only once a month. This decision was made before His "Resigning Bout" with "Bubba" started. I enjoy your blog--Keep it Up!!

Sincerely,

Calvin

Admittedly, I did NOT watch NBC-38 last Thursday morning. I went by what Robbie Watson said at 7:00 a.m. on WRCG - but she admitted on the air she was a first-time viewer of "Rise N Shine." These talk show superstars have to keep a certain professional distance from each other....

And we knew Friday's mention of the Columbus NAACP President would bring a reaction....

If we use Bill Madisons argument for not having a Confederate month, then we shouldn't have a black history month either. After all, this town has a black history museum, a black cemetery, and SEVERAL black organizations.

If he wants to use the premise that slavery exsisted in the Confederacy and thats why we shouldn't have a Confederate history month, then perhaps, according to him, we shouldn't teach US history in school at all since slavery was made legal by the US Constitution in the 3/5th's compromise until it was banned with the adoption of te 13th amendment in 1865.

D.B. Thompson

Oh dear - if this keeps up, all these groups might combine their voices and demand The History Channel be removed from Columbus cable systems.

We'll get to some of your other messages another time - but right now let's quickly check weekend news headlines:

+ Our congregation at church watched a DVD on youth camps. The narrator explained the camps practice "immersion education" - yet for some reason, I never heard anyone talk about being baptized.

+ Columbus Police arrested a man on charges of breaking into The Wash Company on Talbotton Road. In fact, the suspect is accused of doing it twice - first at midnight, then returning at 3:00 a.m. Those extra-large washers simply are TOO slow....

(Hasn't this man ever heard the old line about a criminal "always returning to the scene of the crime?" Or are suspects not paying attention to old cartoons anymore?)

+ The Columbus POW-MIA Memorial downtown was the scene of a pro-military rally called "Gathering of the Eagles." My late father might have understood this differently - and dropped by the Fraternal Order of Eagles lodge for a night of pool, pretzels and beer.

(Eve Tidwell led a small group from Columbus to a similar rally in Washington. Group members said they went there to "protect" the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from protesters. I didn't realize the Capital Park Police were busy marching in a St. Patrick's Day parade.)

+ The Columbus Times reported the House of Mercy is applying to be renovated by "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." I don't quite understand this. Couldn't the shelter spend its big Black History Breakfast check on something besides a new industrial washer?

+ Four obstetric nurses quit Summit Hospital, apparently due to rumors the childbirth section might close. Hospital officials say they're trying to work something out on Medicaid payments - but at this point, the rumors are coming ten minutes apart.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths felled Fayetteville 4-2, before a sellout Civic Center crowd of 7,539. I noticed the Fayetteville team buses parked under the Oglethorpe Bridge during the game - apparently afraid a huge St. Patrick's Day hockey crowd might spit green beer on them.

+ Auburn University held its "A-Day" football game, with the Blue team beating the White team 27-7. I honestly didn't keep track of this - so did the Blue team cover the spread?

SCHEDULED MONDAY: E-mail about Ashley Station....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3623 (- 328, 8.3%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 2:19 AM

Friday, March 16, 2007

16 MAR 07: DEAL OR NO DEAL?

The big deal of the day in Columbus Thursday involved the city and the school district, land in Midtown and the Liberty District, two buildings which will fall, at least three more which will rise -- and if we read all the fine print, the trade could include a school board member to be named later.

After years of yakking without much action, a combined panel of Columbus Council and Muscogee County School Board members worked out a proposed land swap. It focuses on the property around the Columbus Public Library - and the first big winner appears to be the Goodyear car repair center on Macon Road. That Firestone business nearby is coming down.

The Firestone business along Macon Road will be given to the Muscogee County School District, under this swap. It appears the district will tear it down, to build a new main office. Jordan High School vocational magnet students simply can't get a break....

The Muscogee County School District also will receive two lots next door to the Mildred Terry Library, in the 600 block of Veterans Parkway. There are plans for an expanded library there -- and based on what I've seen there, this will mean even more computers for people to listen to cutting-edge rap tunes.

In exchange for all this, the city of Columbus will receive the old Sears building -- and apparently it will be demolished as well. At last, we could have a big-time implosion in Columbus....

City Manager Isaiah Hugley told WRBL the area of the old Sears building will have several uses. One of them is a natatorium, which swimming supporters have been demanding for months. It appears city officials will NOT get that invitation to spend a day cliff-diving at Lake Martin.

One of the "Concerned Citizens for a Natatorium" almost cried when she talked about it with WXTX "News at Ten." She declared the enclosed swimming pool would be the "only venue on Macon Road that will bring in out-of-town visitors." This is why the main library still could use a nice statue in front of it....

The six acres where the old Sears building stands also would have parkland, and a "city service center." People could take care of city business such as license applications, without having to go all the way downtown - but hold on here. Where are the Macon Road coffee houses, to make the trip really worthwhile?

This land swap only is proposed at the moment. The School Board and Columbus Council both have to approve it at upcoming meetings -- so there are still a few days for Paul Olson to read it through, and find some reason to challenge it in court.

Richard Hyatt of the Ledger-Enquirer recently dared to compare the Muscogee County School District to a "slumlord," because of the empty properties it holds. Selling Sears and demolishing Firestore won't solve that completely. It will still have the old Baker Middle School, a potentially deserted Bradley Library - but at least the current main office could be turned into scenic condominiums.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's hear from you about Thursday's entry -- starting with the main event:

You are right about Milgen Rd and the new CSU apts.looking like a peanut farm..Those beautiful huge trees can never be replaced...Now it is one big hilly mud hole..I noticed yesterday they were stretching that orange plastic fencing to stop the mud from washing down on to the road..What happened to the Columbus Tree Ordinance or are contractors immune?

Based on the new Wal-Mart SuperCenter, I think the tree ordinance applies to planting new trees during the construction process. So it's a bit like that Friday night game show - "1 vs. 100."

And a familiar face is still checking in here....

I hope things are going well for you. I saw my mention in your blog today and figured I'd drop you a line. Life as a reporter in Virginia is much different than being back in Columbus. I think I've done more live shots in the two months I've been here than I did in my 5 ½ years at WRBL. Things are great here... and I hope they are for you too back in GA. Take care... and keep blogging! It's how I stay plugged into things back home.

Best,

Blaine Stewart

Stewart is with a Norfolk-area TV station nowadays. But when I checked its web site the other day, I couldn't find a section with Stewart's biography at all. If web searchers aren't careful, they're going to think he's that other Blaine Stewart - the fictional private detective.

WRBL did have a live event Thursday -- at the new home of the Opelika-Auburn News, which held an open house. The building on Society Hill Road has a state-of-the-art printing press, which can print an entire day's run of newspapers in one hour. And if current national readershp trends continue, before long it could be 30 minutes.

Now for other events and notes from Thursday:

+ Rain prompted me to head to the gym for an indoor run - but I forgot Habitat for Humanity's "Collegiate Challenge" was in town. The St. Luke United Methodist Church gym is being used as a makeshift motel by students from Penn State University. You'd think the students would build extra duplexes first - to live in for a week, then rent out as timeshares for 11 months.

+ Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison spoke out against officially declaring April "Confederate Heritage Month" in Georgia. He said the state has had a Confederate month "for more than 400 years." This shows why the month is necessary - because Madison doesn't realize the Confederacy was formed about 146 years ago.

(Bill Madison suggested a Confederate Heritage Month isn't necessary, because Columbus already has a Confederate museum, cemetery and organization -- which makes you wonder if he tried to talk Antonio Carter out of forming the National Joshua Generation last year.)

+ Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin was scheduled to be on WLTZ's "Rise N Shine." But for some mysterious reason, he canceled the appearance. After appearing on this show a few times, I don't think he was concerned about the television lights being hot....

+ "Keep Phenix City Beautiful" planted two maple trees along the city's Riverwalk, near the 13^th Street Bridge. So which one is named "Jeff" and which one is named "Bubba?"

+ Instant Message to GPB: Aw, c'mon! I turn on the TV Thursday night to watch "Celtic Woman" as scheduled, and instead there's some woman giving a lecture on menopause. And what's worse: she didn't even sing about it....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next couple of weeks, as we work on our annual Serious Spring Cleaning.)

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3951 (+ 136, 3.6%)

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-- posted by Richard at 12:31 AM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

15 MAR 07: THE REMAINS OF THE DAY

Wednesday must have been a difficult day for Lanny Davis. It would have been his murdered son's 29^th birthday. He met with the local official who still has his son's body. And imagine how surprised Davis must have been, to find the wooded death site has been clear-cut like a Brazilian rain forest.

We've mentioned Lanny Davis's son here before - Captain Richard Davis, who was killed by fellow Fort Benning soldiers shortly after they returned from duty in Iraq. The case became a "Playboy" magazine article, a national TV newsmagazine topic, an upcoming movie - and if someone dares to make a video game out of it, the Davises should have all the royalties.

Lanny Davis and wife Remy came to Columbus from their home in Missouri for several reasons. They left flowers at the spot near Milgen Road where Richard Davis was stabbed to death. It used to be filled with trees, but has been cleared for new Columbus State University apartments. If C.S.U. students say they read about Richard Davis in "Playboy," I'd be a little skeptical.

It's amazing how the landscape along Milgen Road has changed in the last year, since construction started for new Columbus State apartments. The area looked like it could have part of an expanded Cooper Creek Park. Now it looks like an over-optimistic peanut farmer took over the land, after winning a lottery.

But I digress: Lanny and Remy Davis also met with District Attorney Gray Conger Wednesday about the body of their son. The D.A.'s office has held the remains of Richard Davis ever since his death, because it might be needed as evidence. Let's be thankful the body wasn't left in one of those overcrowded evidence rooms at the Government Center.

The body of Richard Davis never was entered into evidence at the trials of three Fort Benning soldiers. But District Attorney Gray Conger apparently thinks defense lawyers will want to check it during appeals hearings -- as if miscounting the stab wounds somehow will set one of the men free.

Attorney Mark Shelnutt is working for the Davis family, in getting the soldier's body released for burial. Shelnutt admitted Wednesday he doesn't understand why prosecutors need to keep the remains, after more than three years -- and I can see his point. The C.S.I. detectives on television take all sorts of pictures of the body, and they always win.

Lanny Davis admitted to the evening news he feels like he's "still fighting a war," attempting to get his son's body for burial. Let's face it: Iraqi insurgent groups would have released the Captain's body by now - even if it was left along the side of a highway.

In perhaps a small consolation, Lanny and Remy Davis will be allowed to view their son's body today. It will be the first time they've seen Richard Davis in five years, and the first time since he was murdered. Let's all hope two groups stay away from the morgue - Fred Phelps's protesters from Topeka, and local funeral directors with business cards.

As for the fictional movie based on the Richard Davis case: the IMDB web site shows "In the Valley of Elah" is in post-production. It's scheduled to come out this fall, a week after the anniversary of the September 11 attacks. And with Susan Sarandon in the cast, the pro-military crowd which might be interested in this topic might wind up boycotting it.

BLOG UPDATE: Now to what some have dubbed the "Bubba Battle" in Phenix City. City Manager Bubba Roberts spoke out Wednesday about the letter from the mayor, requesting his resignation. He stopped short of putting the letter in a shredder on camera....

Bubba Roberts admitted to WRBL the letter from Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin this week "hurts my feelings." This may come as a surprise to some people - the ones who think city managers are so wonky and focused on the bottom line that they don't have feelings.

Bubba Roberts showed off the letter from Phenix City's Mayor. Jeff Hardin writes his relationship with the City Manager has had "peaks and valleys." Only in the South would a new chicken processing plant be considered a peak.

Bubba Roberts expressed hope he can remain Phenix City Manager until the mayor's term ends next year. The more advance time he has to send resumes to other cities, the better....

But Bubba Roberts noted he "serves at the pleasure of the council" in Phenix City. At this point, three of the five council members are pleased to keep him as City Manager. The other two may be wondering why Mayor Jeff Hardin didn't ask them to cosign that letter.

Mayor Jeff Hardin refused to talk about his letter to the City Manager Wednesday. He explained it's a "personnel matter." Given the way this has been handled, I'd suggest the mayor cross "inquire at the White House about the Attorney General's job" off his "to-do" list.

Now a quick check of other news and notes from Wednesday:

+ The Blog Byway Patrol found part of Tenth Street downtown is closed for sewer repair. The big housecleaning some people expected from Mayor Jim Wetherington may be about to start....

+ The evening news went to West Point, one year after the big announcement of the future Kia plant. It found Rogers Barbecue has replaced its carpet with a wood floor, because construction workers have been eating in muddy shoes. Just wait until the barbecue aroma gets overwhelmed by "new car smell."

+ WRBL's "Evening Edition" found Phil Scoggins doubling as both news and sports anchor. This is how you know Blaine Stewart has left Columbus for good....

+ The blog of Ledger-Enquirer writer Sandra Okamoto noted the Columbus Civic Center did NOT sell out, for Tuesday night's performance by Blue Man Group. Apparently word spread that the name had nothing to do with Auburn football....

+ Playboy magazine announced it will be in Auburn next week, looking for college students to appear in a pictorial. This seems SO antiquated and "last millennium." Why doesn't Playboy simply publish the pictures students post on Facebook?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3815 (+ 124, 3.4%)

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-- posted by Richard at 12:12 AM

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

14 MAR 07: THE BUBBA-FREE ZONE?

A Phenix City Council member revealed Tuesday the City Manager has been asked to resign. But the request didn't come from that Council member - it came from Mayor Jeff Hardin. This could be a rare case where loose lips actually save a ship.

Phenix City Councilor John Storey spilled the beans to TV stations, claiming Mayor Jeff Hardin gave a letter to City Manager Bubba Roberts Monday asking for Roberts's resignation. The reason reportedly involves a lack of communication - and if the Mayor is sending letters instead of making phone calls, we may have the proof.

John Storey notes if the Phenix City Manager does not resign, it would take three votes on the City Council to remove him. Storey says the mayor does NOT have those votes right now. This seems to put Bubba Roberts between a rock and a Hardin place.

John Storey admitted to WRBL this is a bad time for Phenix City to have division between the Mayor and City Manager. The Mayor should learn from Columbus about this - because Mayor Jim Wetherington still hasn't found a good time to disagree with City Manager Isaiah Hugley.

Councilor John Storey also said Phenix City Manager Bubba Roberts should be "left alone to do his job." Well, hold on here - doesn't the city manager face job reviews by the City Council? Leave him alone, and he might start working from home in his pajamas.

If all of this sounds vaguely familiar, it should. The Phenix City Council tried to abolish the City Manager's office a few years ago - and attempted it while Bubba Roberts was away, serving in the Alabama National Guard. Roberts left to fight terrorism, and discovered John Murtha and Nancy Pelosi wanna-bes were left behind.

At least this time, Mayor Jeff Hardin is going after the City Manager while he's actually in Phenix City. And this time, he's ASKING for a resignation - so Bubba Roberts can't join one-time Acting Mayor Max Wilkes in a class-action lawsuit.

But this is yet another example of a "power play" by Phenix City's Mayor. Remember the talk last year about quadrupling Mayor Jeff Hardin's pay? [8 Nov 06] It was approved, then taken back. You're left wondering if the mayor is trying to free up money in the city budget to get that raise again.

No one would dare mention another possible reason to change the Phenix City Manager - and that's the man's name. How many visitors have come to our area, learned there's a City Manager named Bubba, and gone home cracking all sorts of redneck jokes?

Let's be real here: Bubba is one of those names which often gets associated with the South - and often not in a complimentary way by Northerners. It takes a certain amount of toughness to go through life with a name like Bubba. And why Bubba Smith isn't in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, I have no idea....

(For the sake of being REALLY real: My late Dad called me "Butch" all the time. I really didn't know why, I didn't appreciate the nickname very much -- and I actually tried to avoid getting in fights behind the junior high school.)

Yet did you hear about the New Mexico truck driver who wants to be called Bubba? He's filed papers to legally change his name to "Ynot Bubba." [True/A.P.] So at formal occasions, he would stand out from everyone else - because he'd be MISTER Bubba.

BLOG CORRECTION: This blog apparently irritated some people Tuesday, and NOT at The Valley Partnership. (At least no one there has written us yet.) So today we'd like to issue an apology. Not a statement of "I regret I opened my big mouth" like General Peter Pace or former basketball player Tim Hardaway, but an apology....

This blog was singled out by the Sin City Inquisition and Bar B Q blog of Phenix City, for several reasons. For one thing, we used the word "predictions" to describe what the Sin City blogger considered questions based on facts. For leaping to conclusions based on a blog's tone and usual theme, we apologize. We should not look cynically on a writer who uses "cynicism" in his statement of philosophy.

This blog further disappointed the Idle Hour Webs "Redneckin" blog of Phenix City, by suggesting it made predictions about new job development as well. For leaping to conclusions based on a mock billboard with what some might consider a slurring word, we apologize.

The Sin City Inquisition and Bar B Q blog also considers it a "queer habit" that this blog has not specifically named it here on a regular basis. For presuming readers can figure out the name of another blog based on the links we include, we apologize.

The above-mentioned blogs also do not like our occasional references to them as "competition." For misunderstanding that their often-conservative entries actually are in the pursuit of equality and socialism, we apologize.

And for not "being on top of things," as the Sin City Inquisition and Bar B Q blog stated, we apologize as well. In the future, we will reference that blog's post in our next immediate entry - or not reference it at all. After all, blogs should be immediate. If only some public officials acted the same way in releasing vital news....

We'll probably have more apologies to offer in the next couple of weeks, so keep watching for them. Now let's check other Tuesday news:

+ Columbus Police arrested a man on burglary charges - and one of the counts involves ruining the Bradley Theater's air conditioning unit by stealing copper. The damage is estimated at more than $300,000. Maybe now downtown residents will let that theater serve alcohol at parties....

+ Columbus Council approved money to add six more soccer fields to the Woodruff Farm complex. The Ledger-Enquirer reported each field will cost $100,000 - which means they'll apparently use the most expensive oil-based paint for lines on the planet.

+ Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell asked the county commission to endorse a proposed $11,000 raise. The raise is part of a bill in the Alabama Legislature - and since lawmakers already voted to give themselves a 61-percent raise, I don't know why the Sheriff really needs to ask the commission for this.

+ Instant Message to my alma mater Kansas's men's basketball team: OK, we now know we're facing Niagara in the opening round of the playoffs. Go forward remembering the infamous words of Senator Robert Kennedy - "It's on to Chicago, and let's win there!"

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3691 (+ 87, 2.4%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:18 AM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

13 MAR 07: PHENIX A-BLAZE

Another announcement of new jobs was made Monday by The Valley Partnership. A new recycling plant will open on State Docks Road in Phenix City. I assume a statue of Al Gore will be displayed somewhere on the grounds....

The new business is called Blaze Recycling - and that's because it's owned by a family named Blaze. There's no connection with the Phenix City name or seal. And I hope the fire department is ready for prank calls from teenagers, who think that name is funny.

Blaze Recycling will be different from other recycling businesses, because it will focus on used cars. WRBL reported the plant can shred one car every minute. In other places, this might be called a chop shop.

(Shred a car in one minute? This finally would provide a sequel to the movie "Gone in 60 Seconds.")

Blaze Recycling will have about 20 employees at first -- but a year from now, it could have 100. And imagine how busy this place will be, if the Kia plant in West Point makes defective cars....

Blake Recycling is the second big economic gain for Phenix City in seven days. Last week plans were announced for a poultry processing plant with 500 jobs, in the city industrial park. Officials might want to develop a new nickname -- the "city of sharp knives."

So is everybody happy about Phenix City gaining hundreds of new jobs? Of course not. I'm reading predictions by Phenix City bloggers that all the poultry jobs will have low wages, and go mostly to illegal immigrants. Apparently the staff of Gonzoes' Sports Bar isn't big enough to fill all the openings.

Keep in mind that Russell County's unemployment rate is well above the Alabama average, at 5.3 percent for January. I would imagine there will be some overall interest in these new jobs. For one thing, Blaze Recycling staff members might find some surprising forgotten valuables in the glove compartments.

If you're concerned about immigrants (illegal or otherwise) taking these 600 or so new jobs, let me offer some advice which may sound startling. Go apply for them yourself. After all, "equal opportunity employers" probably will need some token white guys - like Charles Barkley used to say about pro basketball.

Another sign of economic growth in Russell County was the opening of a new Waffle House Monday. No big deal, you say? Well, this one is on Crawford Road in Ladonia - long before anyone's started clearing land for Interstate 14.

No, I haven't heard how many employees of the new Ladonia Waffle House are illegal immigrants. Federal agents will have to determine that, I suppose. When they show up, the illegal cooks will be "scattered and covered" like never before.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have several messages to address today. We begin with new words of Love....

Mr. Burkard,

You are correct that I have signed Concerned Citizen Activist, OAAU [25 Feb]. However, as of the official results of the December 5th runoff in District 1,, in which The Movement was very instrumental, that has changed officially to the Grassroots Unity Movement for Change. The Movement will be focused on social activism in Columbus, probably more human rights than civil rights. Although, many seem to think civil rights is specifically reserved for black people nothing could be farther from the truth. Just as MLK Day is not just for black people neither are civil rights. The Movement will not be focused on political solutions. We will only enter into politics when it is absolutely necessary for the good of the community. In District 5 it was important to awaken the masses to the fact that they had the power to effect change, the power of the vote. The Movement functioned in the same way in the mayoral race earlier that November. The Movement promoted change in both seats throughout South Columbus. We believe politics is not the answer, but is only one of many needed answers. Love and Understanding is the best way we know to bring this community and any community together, as best as humanly possible. We are a movement committed to non-violent social change in the tradition of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Change begins with communication and education. Thank you for allowing the Grassroots Unity Movement for Change this opportunity to do both.

Unity begins with "U"

Be Blessed,

Brother Love

I'll certainly "allow" your group to do whatever it pleases. After all, a little blogger like me doesn't have much power to stop it. If I really had the power, WRCG would have broadcast a Thrashers hockey game Monday night - and not the "Bulldog Hotline" for a basketball team which did well to make the N.I.T.

(I'm a little concerned about this group's new name, though. "G.U.M. for Change?" This sounds like something a beggar might offer downtown.)

But I would ask about last year's District 5 Columbus Council race - weren't the "masses awakened" when Mayor Pro-Tem Jack Rodgers announced he wasn't running for reelection? There's no better way to "affect change" than not have an incumbent on the ballot.

Next we move to the compassion so many people are showing about the March 1 tornadoes.... well, I thought they were....

With the news media still acting like the storm happened last might, why not charge people that drive thru and clog up the streets of the area's that were hit by the storm and give the money to ones that need it for repairs (you know - like a freak show at a circus or amusement park..people stare and talk a lot at things like this...)

The news media are making money off of the storm in advertising dollars, why not add a surcharge to them too? It's a thought.

What is not mentioned much at all is the livestock and pets that have disappered from the storm - like the movie "Twister" with the floating cow.

I can understand how you feel about "aftermath overkill." But keep something in mind - we haven't had any rain since the night of the tornadoes. There's no new damage to cover yet.

And what do you mean, the news media are making "advertising dollars" from the storm? I haven't seen any commercials for roofing companies -- much less discount pricing on weather radios.

My only glimpse of the tornado damage in Columbus occurred last week, when I turned from Interstate 185 onto the J.R. Allen Parkway -- with deer only four miles away [7 Mar]. I've had no reason to drive into the "damage zone." But if I must, I'll buy some Krispy Kreme doughnuts while I'm in the neighborhood and hand them out door to door.

The idea of charging people to drive through the tornado damage is interesting, though. Especially since the Pope Farm "haunted hayride" is only open in October....

Our last message today goes completely off the board, in terms of our recent topics:

Did you see Newt's explaination in the paper ..He said he was different Clinton because Clinton lied under oath...duh..What does Newtie think marriage vows are?

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich of Georgia, you mean? The man who went to "Focus on the Family" the other day to confess his sins? I think that group applies the "two strikes law" to divorces -- and he's at two and counting.

In case you missed this story: Newt Gingrich admitted to Focus on the Family last week he had an adulterous affair during the 1990's, while he went after President Clinton for having an affair with Monica Lewinsky. There's nothing like having advice from counsel from someone who's sharing your experience.

But Newt Gingrich claimed he's NOT a hypocrite for going after President Clinton, because the former President lied under oath to a judge. It's a bit like the convenience store robber claiming he at least had enough sense not to rob a bank.

Keep in mind this is the same Newt Gingrich who filed divorce papers against his last wife, while she was in a hospital. Yes indeed, he had what he calls a "period of weakness." And callousness, and.... well, where was Brother Love when this House Speaker really needed a lesson in it?

At the risk of getting too Bible-based here, I'll repeat a comment I wrote to someone else's blog about Newt Gingrich saying he's not a hypocrite. Verily his sin remains. And if Republican voters don't panic, they probably can find a better choice for a Presidential nominee. Such as.... hmmmm.... what's Bob Poydasheff doing these days?

We thank all of you for writing us - and maybe the Monday news will inspire you some more:

+ The Muscogee County School Board discussed a proposal to rename Eastway Elementary School after the late Lonnie Jackson. Finally there would be a large enough trophy case for all his plaques....

+ A Marion County Judge threw out a petition drive to recall Commissioner Frank Powell [27 Feb]. The judge said the campaign came close to abusing the judicial process. So the critics will need to borrow those allegedly high-powered microphones from Talbot County, to pick up what commissioners are whispering.

+ LaGrange Police claimed Jonathan Buckingham robbed a Charter Bank - but then was arrested on Interstate 85, after he stole a taxi to make his getaway. You don't think he was even dumber, do you? Such as trying out the cab's two-way radio?!

+ The AAA champion Jordan High boys' basketball team received a surprise victory rally, including cake. When I was in high school years ago, a state title like this would have earned the entire school a day off for celebration. Thank you, Mr. President, for being such a killjoy.

+ The Georgia rock band R.E.M. was inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If you're not sure where this hall of fame is, simply listen to one of the band's songs. Stand in the place where you work. Now face north....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3604 (+ 77, 2.2%)

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-- posted by Richard at 12:05 AM

Monday, March 12, 2007

12 MAR 07: TAGGED, THEY'RE IT

"1440 FOLK SLOB NATION KILLA." Those words greeted me Sunday afternoon, when I stepped onto a Columbus racquetball court. No, they weren't spoken - in someone's local equivalent to "Kenneth, what is the frequency."

Those words were spray-painted on the left wall at Benning Park's west racquetball court. Someone apparently stopped by in the last two weeks and decided to leave his or her mark on the walls. At least when an animal left its own (ahem) mark on one side of the court, I was able to clean that up.

Black spray-painted words were on all three walls of the west court -- and even on the court itself. "King David" was written on the floor. There must be a better way to promote Bible reading than this....

The right wall of the racquetball court had a few more words, along with a spray-painted "star of David." I'm sorry, but I really don't think radical Jewish gangs are operating in South Columbus.

I'm assuming the marks which were left on the racquetball court were put there by some kind of gang. Police call this sort of conduct "tagging," to mark out a gang's turf. I'd rather young people stuck to leaving tags dangling from their new hats.

Let's try to figure out that message I encountered on the left wall of the racquetball court. It's located at 1441 Benning Drive - so the Baker Village Apartments would be across the street. Is this some kind of statement against the planned bulldozing of the complex for new housing? Or is it a statement that we should show more appreciation for slobs?

This is not the only unusual place where I've spotted tagging lately. Walk around the backside of the Trade Center parking garage along the Chattahoochee Promenade, and you'll see graffiti as well. I know Columbus State Riverpark students want reserved parking spaces, but this is the wrong way to do it.

I couldn't figure out what the graffiti outside the Trade Center parking garage says. But does this mean the Historic District is considered "turf" for gangs, like other parts of Columbus? You'd think the attorneys with offices around the neighborhood could settle this with paper and pens....

Despite the bad case of tagging, there's a little optimism for racquetball or handball players like me. The EAST court at Benning Park was left unmarked. And both courts probably will get a new coat of green paint on the walls in the weeks to come -- because the old coat is starting to peel badly.

E-MAIL UPDATE: You can read about Columbus here, then talk about it somewhere else....

Richard,

W enjoy your blog everyday and miss it when you do not get to post--but everyone deserves a day off. I just keep thinking there must be a way you can make money with it. You are extremely talented and your blog is being read all over the world now. You are very funny and you should be writing tv comedy.

There is a new yahoo group for Columbus, everyone can join anonymously. Member list is not revealed. It is a great way to discuss, archive docs, plan activism, follow a discussion/thread, or local political action/reaction.

I'm in a busy time of year, so I can't check on this group at the moment. But if some construction company goes there and announces plans for a coup at the city landfill, please let me know.

Oh yes - it WOULD be nice if I could make money off this blog. PayPal donations are always welcome. So if you see that Dalton truck driver who won Mega Millions, please tell him about us....

BLOG UPDATE: No, we haven't forgotten the fact that this is Hurtsboro Monday. But we don't have much new to report this week. Maybe this small Russell County town actually is acting small again.

Russell County records show the "contempt of court" trial of Constable R.J. Schweiger is now scheduled for next Monday. This is for giving legal advice to a suspect, without being an attorney. Do you realize if he's convicted, anyone who tells his neighbor, "You ought to sue him" could get put in jail?

Now let's wrap up other notes from a very springlike weekend:

+ I turned on my nine-month-old computer for the first time since the time change, and everything was correct. If you're in Columbus and your computer didn't adjust, why not pretend you're in Alabama and work on central time for three weeks?

+ Phenix City police arrested a suspect in a Wednesday robbery. Authorities say Cordero Smith held up Tyler's Grocery on Opelika Road while he was out on bond, while awaiting sentencing for another robbery. This is taking the phrase, "Get while the getting's good" to a whole new level.

+ The Muscogee County Sheriff's Office ended a three-day fund-raising drive for the Georgia Special Olympics. It was held at the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop on Veterans Parkway - and I say everyone assigned to this event should face a mandatory weigh-in.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported Muscogee County Superintendent John Phillips wants to name eight new principals, including last week's shakeup at Baker Middle School. One place in line for a new principal is Jordan High School. So much for winning a state basketball title....

+ A regional "fantasy convention" ended in Columbus. I think one of the conventioneers passed me downtown the other night. He held a glowing thing in his hand, turned toward me and said something I didn't understand. Was he imitating something in "Star Trek" - or is that how Blackberry devices work?

+ Oxbow Meadows held its annual Reptile Fest - and this year for the first time, there was a reptile "beauty pageant." Why do I have the funny feeling that this will never become a part of "Miss Georgia" week?

+ Auburn won another NCAA swimming and diving championship. Yet they're building a new practice pool on campus which will NOT be open to the public. Maybe the natatorium supporters should go before Columbus and Phenix City Council, and have part of the Chattahoochee River roped off for swimming and not kayaking.

+ Georgia Tech was the only team from this area selected to the NCAA men's basketball tournament. When Nevada has two teams in the running and Alabama has none, it's time for Charles Barkley to get off the golf course and hold some summer camps.

+ Instant Message to the NCAA selection committee: Thank you. Two years ago, my beloved Kansas lost in the first round to Bucknell. Last year, the Jayhawks lost to Bradley. So thank you for a first-round matchup against either Florida A&M or Niagara - not another "killer B" like Belmont.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3527 (- 165, 4.5%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:02 AM

Sunday, March 11, 2007

11 MAR 07: AIR JORDAN

After a wait of several years, "Jordan basketball" returned to prime-time TV Saturday night. But it looked a little strange - because no one on the Jordan High School team wore number 23.

Jordan eliminated East Hall 65-53 to win the Georgia AAA boys' basketball title. There's only one bad thing about the Red Jackets' big win. The earlier start of daylight time means they lost an hour for celebrating.

The Red Jackets bring home Columbus's first state basketball title since Carver High in 1971. And the last time Jordan won a state basketball title.... well, I think that was the era when Dick McMichael was the school drum major.

The Jordan-East Hall game was fast-paced - so much so that Jordan led 6-5 after one MINUTE. There are some Ivy League games where that might be the halftime score....

And speaking of which - how about Jordan junior point guard Winford Ivey? He controlled the basketball better than most teenagers control sports cars after school.

Jordan won the title with quickness, outmaneuvering what the GPB broadcasters called a "scrambling" defense by East Hall. Leave it to the guys from the home of the scrambled dog....

Jordan had to rely on quickness, because none of its players are taller than six-foot-three. Platform shoes may be making a comeback, but they're not really good for shooting jump shots.

The Jordan Red Jackets put the AAA final out of reach rather early, by going on a 16-0 run over seven minutes of the first half. East Hall was so cold, you would have thought Buck Ice was down the street from THEIR school.

It was a bit disappointing to dial around the radio, and find no Columbus station carrying the Jordan championship game. But I really wasn't that surprised - because no station carried the opening home game of the Columbus Lions, either.

Thankfully, GPB showed the AAA boys' final on television across Georgia. But of course, that meant dealing with broadcasters who didn't really know the teams that well. Stu Klitenic coined the phrase "three guards and a cloud of dust" - but pinned it on the wrong team. So much for the online rumors about him returning to Atlanta television....

Analyst Herb White usually is reliable, when he fills in on University of Georgia radio basketball. But he mispronounced Jordan High School's name a couple of times before correcting himself. The Red Jackets didn't help, though -- because putting a player named Tim Jordan on the team simply asked for trouble.

The GPB announcers noted Gerald Turner is not only Jordan's head basketball coach, but the track coach. And did you see him go out on the court in the first quarter with a towel, to mop up sweat from the floor? That's how you know Jordan doesn't have the athletic budget of Columbus High or Shaw.

Jordan won every quarter in terms of scoring, and built the lead to seven at halftime. But Coach Gerald Turner admitted at that point he was concerned about missed free throws and too many turnovers. If basketball coaches didn't worry about something in the middle of a game, their bosses probably would reduce their salaries.

Jordan's Athletic Director appeared on TV at halftime, and showed off the ring he received when the Red Jackets won a state baseball title in 1971. He said for the last month, players have been touching it "like a holy grail." And then people wonder why we need Bible classes in public schools....

Did you see the game before Jordan-East Hall? Franklin County's girls wore uniforms with the word "team" on the back, where you'd expect player names to be. I'm not sure if that's an inspirational idea to provoke teamwork - or an intriguing way of saving money on buying new uniforms next season.

Because the game was shown on public television, there were a couple of breaks asking viewers to become GPB members. The offers were quite "old school," including a mug and a tote bag. I kept waiting for them to offer a leftover CD by the Three Tenors.

It's tempting to point a finger at Columbus TV stations and the Ledger-Enquirer and say, "Shame on you." This blog posted the final score of the Jordan championship game first, and no late newscast made it the top story. Maybe it's because I'm from a big basketball state - while in Columbus, basketball traditionally has been something to fill time until baseball season starts.

By the way, the Northern Little League baseball champions now have a monument in their honor. It was dedicated at Psalmond Road Friday evening, on the opening night of the new season. So is it too early to ask the managers, "What have you done for me lately?"

I received an invitation to attend the opening night of Northern Little League, by someone who promised it would include a fireworks show. I read the e-mail too late to change my schedule to attend. But wow - the only fireworks you normally see in youth baseball come when parents complain about their children not starting.

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: The nomination time has ended -- and beginning today, you get to vote for the name of the Aflac duck! Since Aflac hasn't mustered its corporate might to sue us yet, apparently the insurance company does not object.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION gives you five choices - three of which we've already mentioned here:

1. Alfred - making the duck potentially a servant on the order of Batman's butler.

2. Dinkles - inspired by TV meteorologist Derek Kinkade. Thankfully, Kurt Schmitz never called him that during the night of tornadoes.

3. Leaving the duck nameless - so we can focus more on the important word the duck is saying. He only wears that Aflac scarf on the dolls, for some reason.

Your other two options are named today for the first time - and both relate to Aflac's management:

4. Dan -- as in Aflac's CEO. Wouldn't that make for some interesting confusion, at board and shareholders meetings?

5. Amos -- which admittedly was my original idea. This keeps the duck in the corporate family.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back to the schools we go, with a reply to Thursday's topic about allowing HOPE scholarship waivers:

I think college students who have the Hope Scholarship and flunk out should pay back what the interest would be on the amount of money they were given...There should be some penalty for taking the money under false pretense.. Can you believe there are remedial courses in college?..

Well, hold on here - the college students pay a penalty already, if they don't keep up their grades. Ask any parent who has to bail them out for a sophomore or junior year. And ask any student who gets chewed out by that parent.

Now a quick check of other weekend headlines, before we get to bed early:

+ A series of wrecks slowed Saturday afternoon southbound traffic to a crawl on Interstate 85 in Meriwether County. One witness told your blog there first was a car on fire, then a five-car pileup behind it - and then a three-car minor wreck in the wake of that. The way he described the scene, it was almost like a NASCAR race broke out.

+ Talbotton Road reopened to through traffic, after being closed several weeks for sewer work. But WRBL didn't tell the full story of the reopening - because 12^th Avenue remains closed just north of Talbotton Road. Some of us DO look both ways as we cross intersections.

+ Chapman's on Wynnton Road announced it's going out of business. I'm assuming there will be some kind of farewell party - since this store has plenty of favors in stock right now.

+ Winn-Dixie announced it will rebuild the tornado-damaged store in Americus. Given the renovations this chain already has made at several stores in Columbus, that rumor of a sellout to Kroger seems to be fading like old supermarket signs on the Phenix City Bypass.

+ High school lacrosse made its Columbus debut, as the Columbus High girls downed Decatur 14-3 at Britt David Park. How on earth did Columbus High have a lacrosse team before Brookstone or Glenwood? Have plaid preppy skirts become that scarce?

+ Instant Message to Sarah Matthews of "Peanut Network News": OK, I think I know everything about Optimize Lift. Now please start investigating what put the salmonella inside the peanut butter plant in Sylvester.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Because of the breaking basketball news and the transition to daylight time, our story about the one-legged man will be postponed until another day.)

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UPDATE 1....

-- posted by Richard at 12:09 AM

Friday, March 09, 2007

9 MAR 07: BAKER MUDDLED

The staff of Baker Middle School had an after-hours meeting Thursday afternoon, and learned their Principal is being replaced. In fact, she reportedly considers it a demotion. So has anyone checked for her name yet in the police blotter?

Dr. JoAnn Thomas-Brown says she was called into Superintendent John Phillips's office Thursday, and told she was being reassigned. She leaves the Baker Middle School Principal's job after today, and becoming a teacher at the Woodall Learning Center. Wow -- a couple of Russell County principals never had to give up their titles, and they were arrested.

(The Muscogee County Schools web site shows Baker Middle School actually is affiliated with a "Woodall Satellite Program." So I suppose it could have been worse - and the Principal could have been told to go coach the cheerleaders.)

The Muscogee County School District refused to give a reason for the change, calling it a personnel matter. But one teacher told me Dr. JoAnn Thomas-Brown is being moved out of Baker Middle School on the grounds of "low morale." What could that mean -- poor sales in the school magazine drive?

There seemed to be plenty of support for JoAnn Thomas-Brown at the after-school meeting. In fact, a few people made quickly-written signs protesting her transfer. One said, "What about the children" - as if a transfer from Baker Middle School actually would be bad for them.

It's a sad but true statement that Baker Middle School does NOT have the best reputation in Muscogee County. The administrators tried to make it a year-round school, but that was abandoned due to poor attendance in the summer. You'd think the students would realize the new school building has air conditioning.

The school district has tried year-round school at Baker Middle. It's tried uniforms and hundreds of computers. It's tried after-school programs and Saturday "academic camp." Yet students still have trouble meeting Georgia education standards - as if "average yearly progress" in that part of Columbus takes two or three.

Some principals play extra-large roles in a school's success, and become legendary for it. (Phyllis Davis at Rigdon Road Elementary comes to mind.) But others tend to have more of an "office personality," and really don't play that big a role in the success of students. Perhaps that was JoAnn Thomas-Brown's undoing. If you don't know her name, she's getting the blame.

Baker Middle School teachers made it clear Thursday -- they do NOT believe changing principals is the answer. One said a switch will destroy school morale, instead of improving it. But hold on here - Pat Riley stepped in as Miami Heat basketball coach last season, and the team won a championship.

I can't help thinking of sports comparisons, when I consider the shifting of Baker Middle School's principal. The "season-ending" CRCT exams are only a few weeks away - and let's face it: Superintendent John Phillips can't trade away low-scoring students for future draft picks.

Is the Muscogee County Superintendent acting like a latter-day George Steinbrenner, in removing the Baker Middle School principal only weeks before test time? Or is there a deeper reason for this change that no one's revealing? If she hustled her office computer into her trunk Thursday night, that might be a clue....

Another Baker Middle School teacher may have been closer to the truth, when she told the late TV news it's time for parents to become more active. She may have meant rallying around the principal, but perhaps Baker parents should be more involved in their children's education overall. If they do that, the initials "A.Y.P." would mean something other than "average yearly pain."

A new, still-unnamed interim principal will be on duty at Baker Middle School Monday. But I'm not sure that person will make that big a difference on the upcoming CRCT exams. After all, Harry Truman stepped into a much bigger job in 1945 - and he didn't fumble away World War II.

Now for other notes from a marvelous Thursday:

+ Georgia NAACP President Ed DuBose called on the state legislature to approve a formal apology for slavery, similar to what Virginia lawmakers did. Talk about thinking big! DuBose still can't get Columbus Council to apologize for the Kenneth Walker shooting.

+ The Alabama Legislature voted to give itself a raise of more than 50 percent. Some lawmakers noted they haven't had a pay increase in 15 years - so it's either act while the economy is strong, or apply for work at that new poultry processing plant in Phenix City.

+ Hardaway High School had its first-ever "Hawk Walk" - a parade in the hallway, preparing for today's semifinal game in the Georgia girls' basketball tournament. Now that's a display of school spirit! Not to mention being careful not to ruin that new running track....

+ Georgia assailed Auburn 80-65 in the Southeastern Conference men's basketball tournament. Auburn coach Jeff Lebo called it a "road game." Yet the attendance at Atlanta's Georgia Dome was less than 15,000 - and one-third of them probably were Kentucky fans with nothing else to do.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Sports Council, wherever you are: If Dothan can host a division-one conference basketball tournament, isn't it time we tried again to have one? Or is one night with the Harlem Globetrotters more entertaining than three days of Mercer and East Tennessee State?

COMING THIS WEEKEND: A man with one leg and a bicycle.... and the finalists are announced in our Blog Special Event....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:53 AM

Thursday, March 08, 2007

8 MAR 07: HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL?

A Dalton, Georgia truck driver claimed part of the record Mega Millions jackpot late Wednesday. Eddie Nabors wins more than 116 million dollars - which may be enough to fuel his 18-wheeler for an entire year.

Some of the money from Georgia Lottery games goes to HOPE college scholarships - and Columbus State Rep. Carolyn Hugley says the time has come to change the rules for those scholarships. Since she's a Democrat, you can guess which way she wants to go. She's more HOPE-full than HOPE-less.

Carolyn Hugley told GPB's "Lawmakers" last week about a bill in the Georgia Legislature which I haven't heard discussed at all. It would allow college students an opportunity for a "one-time waiver" to keep HOPE scholarships, should they fall below a 3.0 grade point average in a semester. Political politeness calls it a "waiver." Most college students would say, "do-overs."

Carolyn Hugley's proposal would let HOPE students have this "one-time waiver" from a weak semester if they mentor young children. I'm not sure exactly what she means by "mentoring." Can college guys sell out for football season in the fall, then teach touch football in a physical education class during spring?

Carolyn Hugley's one-time waiver idea apparently stems from the fact that a large number of students enter Georgia colleges with HOPE scholarships, then quickly lose them because they can't keep their grades up. But is a mentoring program the right way to resolve this? Or will this push marginal college students into becoming education majors and teachers?

You may recall one goal of the HOPE scholarship in the 1990's was to encourage Georgia's youth to finish high school. Yet more than a decade later, about 30 percent of those youth still drop out without graduating. Come to think of it, it probably wasn't very smart to encourage teenagers to "stay in school" by promising them more schooling.

The high school graduates who receive a HOPE scholarship and "free" college education should realize the opportunity they have. So should they receive a second chance, if they can't keep up their grades? Is this taking Georgia's "two strikes" law to a very different level?

I can understand cases where college students might be eligible for a "hardship waiver" to keep a HOPE scholarship. It could be similar to injured athletes receiving an extra year of eligibility. But I would limit that to exceptional cases - not to students whose grades drop because they're too busy studying how to get around the legal drinking age.

To borrow a word from a blogging buddy, this proposed one-time waiver for HOPE scholarships strikes me as "wussification." At some point, youth turning into adults need to learn life doesn't always give them second chances - although I suppose the dating process is teaching them that already.

And before you head for that "write me" link and point a finger: I speak as someone who kept my grade point average well above 3.0 throughout college. I took my classes seriously, even before college. And admittedly, I was quite surprised when my Reporting I instructor had to give classmates remedial grammar lessons for a couple of weeks.... [True!]

Suppose we add this one-time waiver, and the HOPE scholarship "drop-off" rate doesn't change. What would Carolyn Hugley propose next? Will the high school "graduation coaches" follow students into college, to make extra money as tutors?

I could expand further on this, but I'm out of time - so let's quickly wrap up other news items from a splendid Wednesday:

+ The annual "Drug Free, You and Me" conference for sixth graders began at the Columbus Trade Center. You can tell times have changed from a few years ago - because the McDonald's arches logo is a bit more subdued on the children's T-shirts this year.

+ WRBL showed the Third Brigade taking one last group run at Fort Benning, before it leaves for Iraq. Some people wondered if it was really a practice session - and the next group run will be across the Iranian border.

+ A makeshift "emergency room" with tents opened near the tornado-damaged Sumter Regional Hospital. It's located on Mayo Street in Americus. This is not exactly the way you want to see a "Mayo Clinic" come to town....

+ Shaw High School's baseball team was embarrassed at home by class-A Schley County 4-3. Maybe now the Raiders will give those red uniforms back to Hardaway or Jordan, where they belong.

+ Online reports indicated the Atlanta Falcons are signing former New Orleans wide receiver Joe Horn. In New Orleans, he fit well as a "jazz Horn" - but in Atlanta, he might have to become a "car Horn."

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-- posted by Richard at 12:29 AM

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

7 MAR 07: STILL A WAYS TO GO

"It's a refill cup," I told the man behind the convenience store counter Tuesday afternoon, as I held 32 ounces of Diet Dr. Pepper.

"You brought it in yourself?!" the man answered. As if people bring executive assistants with them inside convenience stores.

"In fact, I brought it all the way from Columbus."

"Where they don't have a Quik Trip!" The store employee was absolutely correct. I was on the road, at a Quik Trip in the Atlanta suburb of Union City. So it really was a Long Trip - but they don't have stores with that name.

I confirmed that indeed, Columbus has no Quik Trips. If it did, the employee told me, "I'd be working there." I suppose it's because he has relatives in the area -- unless maybe he's a disgruntled former manager of a Spectrum.

A couple of stops in metro Atlanta had brought me to this Quik Trip. It was the longest road trip in my humble Honda since I had back-to-back tire blowups last summer, to doom the dream of Power Frisbee. Thankfully, nothing like that happened Tuesday - although a steep downhill ride to a gas station may have saved me from emptying my tank in Cobb County.

Is it possible that almost ten years have passed since I moved from metro Atlanta to Columbus? Indeed it's true - and this month marks my first trip to Columbus for a job interview. My Honda actually still had a working cassette player then....

Some things in metro Atlanta have not changed since 1997. For one thing, an afternoon wreck Tuesday blocked all the lanes of Interstate 285, near one of my stops. But a traffic message board warned me about it well in advance -- so I could have a short slowdown on the Downtown Connector.

But some things have changed in the ten years since I left a duplex in College Park for my current home. A few became obvious to me only Tuesday....

+ The closest Atlanta-area shopping mall to Columbus has changed its name. "Shannon Mall" is out. "Union Station" is in. Either the Union City Council demanded this, or the mall now is filled with stores selling toy trains.

+ A Wal-Mart store on Cobb Parkway which looked new and modern in 1997 looks outdated now. That's what happens, when you don't have a SuperCenter.

+ A radio traffic report included a lottery commercial - on one of the area's leading Christian music stations. Some of us already know church members playing "fast and loose" with that one.

+ Columbus seems to have lower gas prices. I filled my tank in Vinings for $2.37 a gallon, while the Marathon station on Second Avenue in Columbus posted a price of $2.33. So of course, the critics now are comparing Columbus with Macon instead.

The gap between Atlanta and Columbus has narrowed in ten years, when it comes to big-name stores. Columbus Park Crossing has made sure of that. But we still lack Quik Trips. We lack Beef O'Brady's, the family sports bar chain which is in metro Albany. And as for Ikea -- come see us in about 100 years.

The drive to and from Atlanta was noteworthy in a couple of ways. For one thing, the weigh station along southbound Interstate 85 is far too close to the I-185 exit. I simply followed the 18-wheelers in that extra lane - but thankfully I didn't have to pay excise tax.

The biggest surprise was that a couple of deer were out grazing along I-185 near Smith Road . They seemed to be in no mood to race across the highway - so perhaps somehow they know hunting season is over.

Only four miles beyond the deer, I received my first close-up look at last week's tornado damage when I turned from I-185 onto the J.R. Allen Parkway. Tim Chitwood was right when he wrote in the Ledger-Enquirer about how much you could smell the pine - and I think it was from fallen trees, not people disinfecting open-air homes with Pine-Sol.

But I was home around sundown from metro Atlanta, in plenty of time to watch the latest "must-see TV" show for single guys like me. If you missed it, CW-66 will rerun the search for the next Pussycat Doll tonight.

Because of our road trip, we didn't catch a lot of local news Tuesday. But here's what we noticed....

+ The Federal Emergency Management Agency added Muscogee County to its "disaster area" list. Those of you who for some odd reason were envious toward Americus can calm down now.

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington waived city landfill fees for two weeks, for people with tornado damage. I thought Columbus elected a "law-and-order" mayor - not someone who suspends the rules, and risks depriving police officers of raises.

+ A political campaign sign from Enterprise, Alabama was found in a Stewart County field. It apparently was blown there by last week's storms - or else it was released by a District Attorney candidate, who's looking for free advertising anywhere he/she can find it.

+ Phenix City officials announced a new AlaTrade Foods poultry processing plant will open in an industrial park later this year, employing 500 people. The number of daily specials at KFC had better increase.

+ A strange odor from a library delayed the start of class at Loachapoka High and Elementary Schools. Teachers actually climbed aboard school buses during the delay, to teach children waiting inside them. You can tell the "No Child Left Behind" tests are getting close....

+ Instant Message to any local lottery player who might have the winning Mega Millions ticket: Do you realize you could give $1,000 to every resident of Columbus, and still have enough money to retire comfortably? It's just a suggestion.

CLASSIC BLOG: Lewis "Scooter" Libby was found guilty of federal perjury and obstruction charges Tuesday. It reminded us of a "song of the day" we wrote about the case 04 Nov 05, to the tune of "Boot Scootin' Boogie:"

To invade Iraq, some folks took it to the line -

Then someone went too far, talking with The New York Times.

A reporter went to jail for weeks, before it all went down.

They formed a grand jury, which heard from Karl Rove.

Then somebody else got the shove -

Let's boot Scooter Libby!

Oh, who named Valerie Plame?

Whoever did, it's a shame -- boot Scooter!

Don't say any day/ who's with the C.I.A.

No names, Libby.

Bob Novak knew jack,

Then turned his back - to boot Scooter Libby!

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-- posted by Richard at 12:04 AM

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

6 MAR 07: BIG BUCKS ON THE PRAIRIE

A big national broadcast from Columbus is now less than two months away. And it appears you'll need a big bankroll to be in the audience to see it in person. It's hard to believe the motel tax for visiting "Lake Wobegon" has gone up so much....

Yes, we're talking about the April 28 live broadcast of "Prairie Home Companion" from the RiverCenter. Georgia Public Broadcasting is offering "first dibs" tickets right now to its members -- and they start at 150 dollars. I guess the fictional movie version of that show didn't sell as many tickets as they expected.

Radio announcements on WJSP-FM Monday offered Prairie Home Companion tickets to GPB "members at the 150-dollar and 250-dollar level." Isn't it strange that the "upper level" people probably will wind up with the lower-level main-floor seats?

But wait, there's more! Donations of 350 dollars to GPB will get you not only "inner circle seats" to Prairie Home Companion, but a reception after the show where you can meet the "sound effects guy." The sound effects guy?! OK, he's a native Georgian -- but does Garrison Keillor already have dinner reservations at Bludau's?

The radio announcement says early-bird tickets also are being offered to RiverCenter members. The announcement didn't say how much they cost. But I don't need "Guy Noir, Private Eye" to guess they're probably expensive....

I went to the RiverCenter web site Monday night, and did some price comparing between Prairie Home Companion and other upcoming productions. Tickets for other events are downright cheap by comparison:

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra concert March 17 costs 25 to 33 dollars -- and sometimes conductor George Del Gobbo can be almost as funny.

+ A touring company's production of the opera "Carmen" March 29 costs 28 to 38 dollars. I could understand a higher price, if it actually had Carmen Electra in it.

+ Lily Tomlin's April 15 comedy show costs 36 to 52 dollars. One cha-ching-y ding-y, two cha-ching-y ding-y....

To be fair: you can spend less than 150 dollars to see Prairie Home Companion at the RiverCenter. But you have to wait until tickets go on sale to the general public April 2 -- assuming the big spenders don't gobble up all the seats first. So I guess this is Columbus's version of Los Angeles Lakers basketball.

If any seats are left for the general public, they'll cost between 40 and 65 dollars. Maybe this will make you long for that event Prairie Home Companion is replacing in late April - you know, Riverfest.

Perhaps the prices are high for Prairie Home Companion on purpose -- to avoid a repeat of a couple of years ago. We wrote then about an outdoor show in Atlanta's Chastain Park, which Garrison Keillor claimed was interrupted by drunks in the audience. And let's face it - Columbus is south of the land Jeff Foxworthy owns.

I had already decided NOT to attend the live broadcast of Prairie Home Companion - not really because of the cost, but because it occurs during the seventh-day Sabbath I keep. But in a working-class city like Columbus, is this show overpriced for the public? Or will Powdermilk Biscuits be sold outside, for the rest of us?

BLOG UPDATE: It didn't take long for the grumbling to begin, in the wake of the tornadoes. Several Talbot County residents wanted to ask the Commission for help Monday night - but the Chairman wouldn't let them, because the tornadoes hit after the deadline for the agenda passed. It's nice to know something there remained unmovable, through it all....

A tree removal company complained to WRBL Monday it can't haul away damaged limbs, because it's been barred from the Columbus city landfill. The city's reportedly cracking down on 18 businesses which owe the most money in landfill fees. So if you see trucks with Georgia license plates parked on the Phenix City edge of the Chattahoochee River, that may be why.

One tree remover argued this is the wrong time for a city crackdown on landfill fees, in the wake of the storm. This sounds a little like a drunken man saying 2:00 a.m. is the wrong time to close the bar, because buses have stopped running.

WRBL claimed the "landfill list" of 18 banned businesses is posted on the Columbus city web site. But I did a search for "landfill" Monday night, and couldn't find it. I suppose it's only logical for such information to be buried and hidden....

Instant Message to the Georgia Baptist Association: What was your group doing with those chain saws, clearing damage in the Brookstone neighborhood Monday? Doesn't the Bible clearly say, "Thou shalt not Stihl?"

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We might not be able to have a Wednesday post, because of a trip out of town. We'll see....)

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If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:03 AM

Monday, March 05, 2007

5 MAR 07: NO HEARTS, JUST FLOWERS

The TV newscasts were relatively kind to Charles Flowers, when he resigned as Muscogee County Athletic Director last week. But one column in the newspaper has changed all that, and sparked a couple of e-mails in our direction. Take this one:

Hope you read Richard Hyatt's Fri article on Flowers..See,and you didn't want to believe all those rumors...Good luck to Daughtery High,you will need more than an Irish clover...Oh,Charles never paid for the state championship rings he ordered for his friends that didn't even go to football games...

As we mentioned last week, the original rumor from last November had Charles Flowers moving to Carver High School. He denied that to me - but I didn't know I was supposed to ask about every other school and district in the state.

A second e-mail goes into more detail on this:

I don't remember which side of this fence you sit on, but knew you'd be interested in this:

Kansas State Athletic Department Condemns Chicken Toss

Students have smuggled live chickens to mock Kansas

Feb. 28, 2007 MANHATTAN, Kan. (AP) -The chicken toss has been declared off limits at Kansas State.

For years, Kansas State students have smuggled live chickens into basketball games against Kansas, then thrown them onto the court and behind the opposing bench before tip-off - mocking their rival's Jayhawk mascot.

On another note

You mentioned on Thursday about Coach Flowers going to Albany and then on Friday, Richard Hyatt ripped the man. If any of the things Mr. Hyatt said are true, I would have expected Tim Chitwood or Harry Franklin (who have both recenlty covered education) or Troy Johnson on the Sports page would have done an expose.

From Mr Hyatt's story:

As Flowers' success grew, so had his arrogance. While winning trophies, he was threatening to go to Bibb County if he wasn't paid more money, lobbying for bigger coaching supplements and getting players out of classes so they could lift weights. He manipulated boundaries so certain players could come to Shaw, refining a practice others had used for years.

Helping kids cut class and controlling the districting maps seems like it would have made good reading. I think Mr. Hyatt should have at least cited a source for something in this.

Keep up your good work.

I'll get back to those chickens, but let's keep focusing on the Flowers. Wow - I never realized Richard Hyatt was such a loyal Columbus High School backer....

Based on the headline above Friday's column in the Ledger-Enquirer, I thought Richard Hyatt's point was that the Muscogee County Athletic Director position now might go unfilled. I thought the reason would involve tight budgets - not overinflated egos.

BH makes a good point - if all these points about Charles Flowers were well-known, why didn't someone at the Ledger-Enquirer mention them in print before now? Especially if he helped students cut classes? Or was the "weightlifting" explained away as an alternative way of teaching math?

It's not necessarily wrong for Athletic Director Charles Flowers to lobby for more money for coaches. After all, it seemed to work very well for Nick Saban at Alabama....

Keep in mind that high school coaches can't really get the "shoe deals" or endorsement contracts that college coaches can. Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville supposedly has a nice deal with "Under Armour" apparel. Muscogee County coaches might have been offered a deal with Choose Shoes -- the place police raided the other day.

To be fair, Richard Hyatt's column indicates Charles Flowers was not the first Muscogee County athletic leader to redraw school boundaries. But it's interesting that coaches in Columbus have the power to do something not even state lawmakers do very often.

(As the high school baseball season gets started, I haven't heard of any "transfer controversy" like Russell County faced last year. Maybe all the top players enrolled at Shaw, after the Northern All-Stars won the Little League title.)

I'm not sure when Charles Flowers started playing with the Shaw High School boundary line. But his record as football coach is very interesting - as he had a .500 record for his first several years, then exploded to a big winning percentage over his the last few years. Was it the school lines? The players lifting weights at midday? Or should someone check the lunchroom for steroid needles?

Let's be honest here: some students have played fast and loose with boundary rules for years, to get into their favorite schools - and not only in Muscogee County. I knew a girl who moved away from my high school for her junior year, then came back for the senior year. Supposedly she could do it because her father's insurance office was in the district, and had a cot in the back.

Oh yes, that high school was in Kansas - and I appreciate the update on chickens from Silo Tech. At least, that's what some Kansas students used to call Kansas State....

As I recall, the "chicken dance" at Kansas-Kansas State games goes back about 30 years. After some kind of controversy involving Kansas player Donnie Von Moore, a few Kansas students threw hot dogs on the court when Kansas State players came out for a game. My roommates justified that, by saying hot dogs don't leave as big a mess.

And speaking of Kansas - congratulations are in order for my youngest niece. I found out Sunday night Heather the K.U. grad [22-23 May 05] is engaged! The wedding date has been set for Memorial Day weekend of NEXT year - so there's plenty of time for you to buy advertising space on her gown.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back now to the aftermath of Thursday night's storms:

Already Columbus is seeing Construction Storm Chasers- Please tell Blog readers to pass along to others in need of Rebuilding or repair , the best bet is to call Columbus Chamber of Commerce and they will refer those with Construction damage to contact the "Greater Columbus Home Builders Association" ,- or those with a computer can go directly to "GCHBA " website and pull down a list by Construction Need and get Name & phone # of o Reputable Contractors in our area.

G. Colbert

I'm glad to post that link here for you. And if the work crew which knocks on your door has "gypsy" in its name, be suspicious.

BLOG UPDATE: If Hurtsboro was damaged by last week's storms, I've heard nothing about it. But there are still some things to note on this Hurtsboro Monday -- including a court case involving a business owned by the Mayor. She's accused of owing money to East Alabama Medical Center. So you city workers waiting for paychecks should take a number, and get in line....

Alabama court records show an April trial is planned in the case of East Alabama Medical Center vs. Sandra Tarver of "Jet Adult Day Care." EAMC claims it has compensation money coming from the day care center. Hopefully the mayor didn't use extra money to actually buy herself a jet.

Our schedule did not permit us to contact either side in this case for comment in the last few days. But court records show EAMC has a Montgomery law firm working on its behalf. Why the hospital didn't go all the way and hire Micki Beth Stiller, I have no idea.

And I hope Constable R.J. Schweiger didn't lose any money this past week because of me. He posted another item on the message board of Talbot County's "Concerned Citizens for Responsible Government," predicting "THE topic" of Thursday's blog would be Russell County Court again. Hmmm - how would a "fantasy blogging league" work, anyway?

While your blog considered controlled burns at Fort Benning last Wednesday, R.J. Schweiger (yes, Talbot County message board posters, he really IS an elected Constable) was back in Russell County Court. It was a "docket call" hearing on the two charges against him, so I decided it wasn't a big enough event to attend. Besides, Mr. Schweiger might have sought my arrest for stalking him.

Court records show a jury trial for Constable Schweiger is planned in mid-March. He's apparently entered a "hardship plea," to explain why he wants to be his own defense lawyer. If it doesn't pay well enough to be a Constable, maybe Mr. Schweiger should become a bounty hunter -- and claim rewards for all the Hurtsboro city officials he can put in prison.

Now for other items large and small, which we discovered Sunday:

+ WRBL clarified a "breaking news" item from its Saturday night news. It turned out four Talbot County Sheriffs' deputies were NOT missing from Big Lazer Creek. Four Villa Rica police officers were missing - and they turned out all right. At least News 3 didn't accuse them of playing lazer tag.

+ Jed Harris substituted for Ed Harbison as the host of WYBU's "Public Agenda." I know the Georgia Legislature is in session - but this is going to start rumors about Harbison's "Atlanta home" all over again.

+ The "New Hope Revival Center" broadcast on WSHE-AM featured the Pastor talking about how he once spoke to "St. Columba" in a vision. Was this saint annoyed by the fact that Columbus has a statue honoring Christopher Columbus, but not him?

+ Presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton joined in the annual Selma, Alabama civil rights march. If they didn't make side trips to Enterprise, does that mean they secretly want to cut the FEMA disaster budget?

+ Instant Message to whomever came up with a radio ad for a touring stage play which says, "Coming to Columbus - Irresponsible Behavior": It's coming?! As if Columbus doesn't have any of this already? Last time I checked, Recorder's Court was still in business....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3707 (- 242, 6.1%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 04, 2007

4 MAR 07: THE TORNADO TOUR

Was it an unadjusted computer, or a human who wasn't thinking? Saturday morning, less than 48 hours after the tornadoes struck, WKZJ "K-92.7" dared to play a Gap Band classic: "You Dropped a Bomb On Me...."

Veterans Parkway reopened in full Saturday night, after police closed a section in the "tornado zone" for two days. Drivers had to detour by using J.R. Allen Parkway and Moon Road. At least the city had enough sense not to add to the overcrowding on Whittlesey Boulevard, around Columbus Park Crossing.

But while Veterans Parkway is open again, the tornado-damaged area has a speed limit for now of 25 miles per hour. The better to gawk at that damaged Eckerd store, after all....

(And for the caller who started telling WRCG's "TalkLine" about the back roads he took to reach the tornado damage - your chances of working at the CIA are now down to zero.)

Several groups volunteered to help the storm survivors Saturday. A Boy Scout troop assisted in cleaning up one neighborhood. Total strangers delivered food and water in the Brookstone neighborhood. And the Texas Roadhouse staff cooked outdoors for repair workers - in the most comfortable temperatures the chefs probably will have all year.

Columbus city crews will start removing the storm damage this week. The city advises you to put your tree limbs in one stack, and your tree trunks in another stack. But if you think you're going to get a waiver on landfill fees -- well, city officials have learned better than that.

Several state officials already have toured the tornado damage in Columbus. Governor Sonny Perdue led a one-hour caravan of cars through the Brookstone neighborhood. He saw several damaged houses - but we HAVE not heard if he plans to buy any of the vacant land.

President Bush visited Americus Saturday, a city where damage is widespread. Executives of Sumter Regional Hospital promise it will reopen, despite rumors to the contrary. Some hospital services currently are conducted at Americus First Baptist Church - and for some reason NOT at a big faith-healing congregation.

One Americus resident was so thrilled to see the President that she called her boyfriend on a cell phone, and let the President talk to him. Mr. Bush then said: "Looks like you have a fine girlfriend." [True/A.P.] When Bill Clinton was President, who knows how that line would have been misunderstood....

President Bush told reporters in Americus the government will try to make sure storm survivors don't "fall through the cracks." In his words: "If you put out a call to this country, this country will respond." At least, as long as the cell phone tower isn't knocked down by the storm as well.

But there are skeptics that the President will live up to the promise to help. I heard one minister doubt Saturday federal help will be very much, compared with government "foreign aid" for places such as the Palestinian Authority. Well, at least the people in Americus aren't likely to blow themselves up....

I attend church with a couple which lives in the Americus area, and escaped the tornado damage. They told me Saturday they lost power until about 9:15 p.m. Friday night. Another member did the "smell test" to make sure they were OK -- sniffing to see if the husband had showered. [True!]

One mother who lives near Americus said her teenage son wanted to go there at the height of the storm to help with rescue efforts - but she wouldn't let him go until after the storm passed. That was at 1:00 a.m. Friday. In parts of Columbus, a teenager leaving home at that hour might have prompted an all-points bulletin.

I knew someone in Taylor County had died from the tornado, but until Saturday I didn't know the details. Our Pastor at church said someone in the Reynolds area stepped outside during the storm, and was "decapitated" by flying sheet metal. So perhaps it was no surprise that the sermon was NOT about stepping out in faith.

Some interesting factoids emerged from Thursday's tornadoes, which I didn't know before:

+ Georgia Insurance Commissioner John Oxendine knows how to fly a helicopter. He took WRBL's Phil Scoggins for a ride over the damage in North Columbus. If both Oxendine and Governor Perdue can do this, Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle has some serious catching up to do.

+ Former WRBL weather anchor Jeff Donald is now a teacher. I talked with him, as he reported conditions in the Maple Ridge area. But I didn't ask if he gives "First Alerts" of upcoming exams.

+ TV reporter Jon Kalahar's last day in Columbus happened to occur as the tornadoes came through. He went to Richland to report on the damage, went back to Columbus to edit his video - then drove away toward his new job in Mississippi as fast as he could.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have a backlog of messages all of a sudden. We'll start with one about the storm:

Hats off to Channel 9's Kurt and Derrick for coverage of the approaching bad weather Thursday night..They did a professional job in keeping the viewing area informed and advising people to take shelter..They made the right decision to stay on the air even though "Idol" fans were angry...Thanks Kurt and Derrick..

This person should be happy I'm not posting his e-mail address - because he might get dozens of X-rated replies. I heard a few of the complainers use language that Ryan Seacrest probably has never even said.

(But hold on - wasn't Bruce Lee working behind the scenes on the severe weather coverage as well? And with a name like that, he might have martial arts skills to back them up.)

Here's one more message, which reached us before the tornadoes arrived:

A caller on the morning show seemed to imply that Columbus, Ga is the only city suppose to get new jobs.

The host even came back with a comment on it and the caller said that "you are putting words in my mouth".

From what I remembered hearing that the caller was not only mentioning that some of the new jobs from the "Kia" plant did not make it to Columbus -but - also that the former mayor of Columbus made promises that the jobs would be in Columbus.

Waggoneer - located in Columbus , uses around 98% of Alabama roads to go back and forth from Montgomery - but - were are the jobs based - "In Columbus".

Where's the income reported - in Columbus.

Sure, trucks pay a road use tax, but Alabama came up on the short end of this deal.

I'm glad that Opelika is doing what it can to lure Company's to their City, just look at the Horrible mess Columbus has done to it's roads to get around just because the almighty "Greed" has them blind folded, and if I remebered it right, that the city is blaming the D.O.T. for the problem.

Come on -give me a break, or better yet, give me more user freindly roads to do busines.

Horrible mess? Now wait a minute here! Waggoners might object to that -- since Tenth Avenue and Victory Drive are both four-lane roads, and neither one has shopping center traffic in the way.

If anything, I'd think the Waggoners would be lobbying in Montgomery for the widening of U.S. 80 west of Ladonia. Alabama could benefit from fuel tax money for some new gas stations - especially since the edge of the civilized world seems to be East Alabama Motor Speedway.

More e-mails are coming Monday - but now let's check other items from the weekend:

+ WIOL-FM "95.7 The River" dropped the morning team of Bob and Tom. Starting Monday, the main man will be "Doctor J" - but if you can't see him slam-dunk on radio, how interesting a show will this be?

+ Three Muscogee County high school teams advanced to the state basketball semifinals. The Hardaway and Kendrick girls are going to state, as well as Jordan's boys -- who have about four days to prepare for correcting all the reporters mispronouncing the school's name.

+ Instant Message to South Columbus United Methodist Church: Are you serious with that sign? Sunday's sermon is called "Get the H**l Out?" I thought you wanted worshipers from Baker Village....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.28 a gallon at Fuel Tech on Milgen Road.... Goodwill Industries accepting donations for storm survivors from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. at Kmart on Macon Road and Lowe's on Veterans Parkway.... and church attendance on the north side is liable to be way up....

COMING MONDAY: E-mail about Charles Flowers's big move.... and will we have anything from Hurtsboro?....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3949 (+ 163, 4.3%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 1:55 AM

Friday, March 02, 2007

for 3 MAR 07: OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN?

Before we get to our main topic, we have some sad news for local classical music fans. We found out Friday that longtime Troy Public Radio classical announcer Michael Rothe has died in Illinois. Rothe actually was based in Chicago, which is the home of most of Troy Public Radio's music -- and he had a great voice for the classics. Maybe someday we'll hear someone with a true Alabama accent, saying names such as Shostakovich and Berlioz.

Now for a follow-up to last Saturday's topic - the small church denomination which has told its members NOT to have blogs. It brought this message in response:

The Restored Church of God declared its members (especially teenagers) should not have blogs - mainly because blogs do little more than express a "personal opinion" on an issue. The denomination argues that's mere human vanity, because God's viewpoint matters most. At least this group realizes bloggers are NOT God. Some writers simply come across that way...." [24 Feb]

Amazing at it may seem, God actually made a mistake when installing the Mark 1 Human Brain by giving these hairless apes the ability to think freely. As such... free thought runs rampant in the species and there is a distinct danger that they may either destroy themselves or reach for the stars if they don't

This also settles the old question of why God would give Man a brain to think with only to him behave like a sheep...

-R

I'm going to assume R's tongue is in his/her cheek here, by claiming "God made a mistake." My Bible says in several places that God and His ways are perfect -- and it also says He wants us to become perfect. Yet even pro wrestling's "Mr. Perfect" seemed to lose a few matches years ago.

So why didn't God make human beings perfect in the first place? Well, He may well have -- but the book of Genesis indicates the first humans lost that perfection when they listened to the wrong voice. They didn't believe God when God left them alone for awhile. How many workplaces can you think of, which still operate the same way?

Yes, God allows you and me to think freely. But the apostle Paul wrote we should "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." As a minister once quoted his wife as saying to him -- your brain is too young to wander off by itself.

(By the way, about that "Mark 1 Human Brain" -- doesn't R really mean Genesis 1?)

God wants us to love Him - but the great Shepherd is not forcing sheep like you and me to do it. I realized years ago that to force someone to love you is NOT love. In fact, I learned it personally -- after sending several flower bouquets to a certain woman in another city, who will remain nameless.

By thinking as God thinks, we move toward the goal of eventual perfection. But that's hard, because the people all around us (including you and me) are not perfect. That's why in part this world is NOT perfect yet -- and that should have been obvious before Thursday night's tornadoes showed up.

If you have damage from the imperfect world to clean up this weekend, I suggest taking some time to dream about a future when the world will be perfect. When YOU will be perfect, too. Jesus will have to come back to make this happen. But thinking that He will is absolutely free - and I don't think that small church denomination will stop you, either.

The denomination's ban on blogs turned into a personal "self-exam" for me. I've posted the results online, for you to consider. You may find even churches can be imperfect, once in a while....

SCHEDULED SUNDAY: More bits and pieces from the big storm....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3786 (- 616, 14.0%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 11:48 PM

2 MAR 07: BLESS THIS MESS

Should I or shouldn't I? That was the basic question I asked several colleagues late Thursday night. Should I blog in the wake of a severe storm, including what many people say was a series of tornadoes? Or would the "movers and shakers" among our readers think I was shaking things up too much?

The colleagues were split about what I should do - but more of them said I should go ahead. To be honest, I wish most had said no. It's not easy to write a humor blog after an evening of destruction. I tried to be funny for LaughLine.com subscribers in the days after the September 11 attack, and one person complained about it. It can take time to heal a wounded funny bone.

Muscogee County Schools are closed today, in the wake of Thursday night's destructive storms. And Columbus Police are asking people NOT to drive, especially on the north side of town-- although I have the feeling you'd be welcome if you drove up with a front end loader.

Whatever the "big wind" was, it blew down the wall of a drug store on Double Churches Road. It blew a couple of overhead signs off the J.R. Allen Parkway. And it blew in and out of Columbus so fast, I'm not sure some drivers of hot-rod pickup trucks could keep up with it.

The calls I took Thursday evening about the storms could be classified in several categories:

+ The people with survival stories to tell. One woman talked about being ordered into the kitchen of Smokey Bones Bar-B-Q at the height of the severe weather. I hope that was the most windproof place - especially since there could have been big knives lying around.

+ The "American Idol" fans, who were upset because their favorite show was interrupted for severe weather bulletins. A couple of them even told me the singers were more important than whether people lived or died from the storms. Ryan Seacrest needs to give his fan club a talk.

(These fans could pray for God to move the storms away, so they don't interfere with their show. But then again, they're more interested in "idols" than God, aren't they?)

+ The Art Garfunkel fans, who wondered if the concert at the RiverCenter was still on. As far as I know, Garfunkel performed as scheduled - proving his song true: "I am a rock."

(But uh-oh, someone forgot to tell the Ledger-Enquirer that Fantasia had canceled her Sunday night show at the Civic Center. Her appearance in Thursday's paper was a To-Don't.)

+ The people wondering if school was canceled - first for Thursday night, then for today. Maybe in this part of the country, we shouldn't say the school year has extra "snow days."

It appears there will be a lot of "spring cleaning" ahead in several Columbus neighborhoods. And it's not the first time, as I was reminded tornadoes struck parts of Columbus ten years ago this month. If someone still has a list of shady repair companies from 1997, please send them to us - so we'll all know whom to avoid.

So there - I did my duty, and blogged on "the day after." If you're not ready to laugh just yet, I perfectly understand. Come back when you're ready. We'll still be here - unless a line of storms hits the other half of Columbus as well.

If you still want this blog to be funny today, here's a great way to have "added humor." We found this link on the blog of a man in Memphis. If it works correctly, you'll still be smiling - although some people might wonder where you found such a backwoods guy.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We found this storm-related message at our post time:

Richard - this is my own account Thursday evening

On the hill lookng southwest I could see the clouds that had come down low enough to the touch the trees, the wind had stopped and the fog was everywhere and no rain.

I looked at the cell phone and the time was 6;15 - then the wind was coming hard in waves and the clouds looked like they were lost - some going north, some east and some appeared to be rising straight up and the lightning was close.

I know, you're suppose to stay inside and hide, but, I stayed out and watched. right above me the clouds started chirning and as they moved east they were gathering in like a barrel roll. some real dark clouds , most medium to light gray clouds and a few whtie clouds that seemed to be coming from the ground.

The clouds were spinning faster as they moved away to the east by northeast and staying real close to the ground, I kepted up with the movement until the rain started fast and hard.

some 20 minutes later I turned the TV on and heard about the damage it did in north Phenix City and in Columbus.As I'm writing this - more alerts are coming across the TV.

My late father used to go outside and watch developing severe storms, too -- while Mom hurried me down to the cellar/crawl space. I don't recall her ever pulling Dad down there. Perhaps it was because he would have been reminded of how dusty all the old Mason jars of fruit were.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 4402 (+ 149, 3.5%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 1:41 AM

Thursday, March 01, 2007

1 MAR 07: LI'L SMOKIES

Wednesday was a beautiful springlike day in Columbus -- with a high of 78 degrees F. and plenty of sunshine for most of the day. It was SO drop-dead gorgeous that I almost drove to the Miss Georgia pageant office, to see if a swimsuit competition would break out.

Well, we should correct part of that -- MOST of Columbus had plenty of sunshine Wednesday. Some people had smoke clouds over the heads. And they were NOT standing outside tobacco-free workplaces....

Four Muscogee County schools issued "smoke alerts" because of what Fort Benning called a "controlled burn" on post. Please note the Army said the BURN was controlled. They make no promises about the smoke from it.

Dawson Elementary School even allowed students with breathing problems to go home for the day, because of the smoke. This may explain why you hear more about schools holding "pizza parties," instead of bringing in a giant barbecue pit.

A Fort Benning officer said Tuesday's controlled burn went exactly as planned - but the smoke blew over parts of Columbus, because the wind shifted unexpectedly Tuesday night. People in Chattahoochee County showed amazing restraint, by not celebrating with a street dance.

Some school administrators said they were never told about the controlled burn at Fort Benning. Should that really be a surprise? Secret tactics such as this could come in handy in Iraq....

WRBL claimed the Columbus Fire Department was "flooded" with calls complaining about the smoke. But then a department spokesman said there were 12 calls from Tuesday noon to Wednesday morning. If 12 calls in about 18 hours equals a flood, Golden Park could be "packed" for every Catfish baseball game this season.

A few people who live near Fort Benning are sick and tired of the controlled burns. But officials on post say they're necessary to clear brush for Army activity. Of course, soldiers in basic training could get a mix of great exercise and machete practice....

I noticed a wave of smoke while driving down Macon Road Wednesday afternoon - but that may have been something different at Fort Benning. Officials on post reported a "range fire" developed from shooting, and destroyed three cars. This is why METRA needs to be thinking about expansion.

E-MAIL UPDATE: While we're talking about Muscogee County schools....

Article in today's Albany Herald..Charlie Flowers will be voted on tonight by Daughtery County School Board to be the new head coach at Daughtery High...Go to Albany Herald and click on sports and read article...

That article turned out to be accurate, as the Muscogee County Athletic Director was approved unanimously Wednesday as Dougherty's new football coach. So that rumor from last fall about moving to Carver High School [14 Nov 06] turned out to be bogus -- and its football team turned out just fine, anyway.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on school punishment ended Wednesday night -- and 80 percent of our voters say a middle school in Valley was wrong to remove bathroom tissue from restrooms. So this is one time when it's OK to "paper over" a problem.

Someone left an anonymous comment during our poll about trying to confirm the bathroom tissue incident in Valley. For some reason, a phone number written there for the Chambers County School Board had a 706 area code - in east Alabama. As if they can escape attention for this incident by making a run for the border....

BLOG UPDATE: Seth Harp's drive for Sunday alcohol sales across Georgia finally had a State Senate hearing Wednesday. He'd waited more than half the legislative session for this to happen - which must have felt like the bill was going through a 12-step program first.

An executive with Publix endorsed alcohol sales in stores on Sunday. He noted Sunday is the highest-volume day of the week at many Publix stores. This came as a surprise to me - and made me wonder if Saturday soccer leagues are stretching from dawn to dusk.

But Sunday alcohol sales are opposed by Aaron McCollough of the Troup Baptist Association and the "Fresh Fire" radio broadcast. He told Senators it's another sign of a "secular society" trying to take away our country's Christian heritage. You can always spot the preachers who serve grape juice for communion, instead of wine....

(Instant Message to GPB's "Lawmakers:" Aaron McCollough is NOT in charge of the "TROOP Baptist Association." I'm not even sure if he's for or against the Boy Scouts.)

The Sunday alcohol proposal was assigned to a Senate subcommittee. The committee chair said it will be reviewed and "perfected" there. He didn't dare say the bill would be aged....

Now for other items which were mixed together, on the last day of February:

+ The F.B.I. announced it will review two possibly race-related killings in Columbus from the 1950's. At this rate, Ed DuBose of the Georgia NAACP may be appealing to Columbus Council about the Kenneth Walker case until he dies.

+ "American Idol" champion Taylor Hicks performed at the RiverCenter. In an extensive interview with WXTX "News at Ten," Hicks revealed he's been chased by fans through the Baltimore airport. Yet somehow, he's resisted the temptation to shave his head.

(Taylor Hicks admits he's using a "scaled-down" band and crew on his concert tour. Hmmm - am I hearing something there about weak ticket sales?)

+ A 94-foot-wide white bubble was placed along Fourth Street near the Columbus Civic Center. It turned out to be a new airship called "Columbus," being made by Cyber Defense Systems. Those of us who were hoping for a pro beach volleyball tournament this summer were left disappointed.

+ "Inside Edition" reviewed Atlanta library records, and found 174 crimes occurred there in 2005. The next time a library offers an amnesty program for overdue books, look out for the undercover police....

+ Auburn lashed Louisiana State 80-68 in men's college basketball, for its 17^th win of the year. Is it possible Auburn could sneak into the NCAA tournament? Or is Tommy Tuberville going to have to appear before the selection committee, to remind them of a couple of years ago?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.18 a gallon at Mystik on Brown Avenue.... milk for $2.49 a gallon at Walgreens.... and "Soul Patrol" T-shirts probably will be on sale at half-price somewhere....

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